/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11958025
Why? Easy. You have a bunch of diet magazines and eleventy-seven bags of candy. Did you ever think you might not be so FUCKING FAT if you weren't buying SO MUCH CANDY?

>>10996515
I have to deal with the nausea generated by looking in your general direction, as well as pay for your medical treatment, landwhale.

>>10812969

>>10713938

>>10657237
>ironically, its not a social faux pas to eat waay more food than any human could possibly need.

you must be joking. with the exception of eating contents and drunken fratboys people absoloutely do look down on fat-asses who gorge themselves. it's a common topic of discussion among middle aged women:

>oh my god, did you SEE how much he ATE at that the party.

Let me tell you guys about the Fat Sign.

The Fat Sign is easy to make. Get some cardboard or whatever and write "FAT" on it in big letters. Or you can print it out on the computer. Point is to make it clear and easy to read. Cardboard is best so it won't flop around in the wind. Keep the fucker in your car, backpack, or whatever. When someone pisses you off, instead of flipping them the bird you whip out the Fat Sign. Giving someone the finger might irritate them for a few minutes. But the Fat Sign ruins their whole DAY.
Obviously this works best on actual Fatties.

However, a lot of women, 'spergs, and soyboys get triggered by it too since they have some weird mental hangup so that they think they're fat even if they aren't.

Make a Fat Sign today. I highly recommend it.

>>9341462
>>silly opinion detected
>>opinion discarded

>>9276636

Yeah, you can activate or deactivate "punishment mode". That maintains a drink blacklist. If a customer selects a blacklisted drink then the machine will fire a crotch-level tazer & shocks the shit out of that customer's groin. The whole process is filmed in 4K and automatically uploaded online.

There's also fatmode, which takes effect when customers select sugary drinks. It displays pic related on the screen while playing pig sound effects. Meanwhile a hidden speaker shrieks "Heeeeeeeeyyyyy FATTY!" at 135 decibels.

My favorite is the strangely named "vegan assist mode". When activated by a customer dispensing "mello yello" this uses a pneumatic cannon hidden in the celing to fire a frozen hamster directly at the skull of any vegans present in the room. The mechanism can fire up to six hamsters a second from a built-in magazine of six dozen and is capable of penetrating a one-inch thick oak door at thirty feet. There is a submode option which changes the hamsters from frozen to rotten.

>>9228613