/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17619277
no scurvy for this fella

>>17594470
HOLY FUCKIN SHIT PISTACHIO PISTACHIO IS THE BEST ICE CREAM ON THE FACE OF THE FUCKING PLANET I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH

>>12080022
>>12079448
>>12079382

...You know, you don't have to waste an entire fucking wish on getting /fit/. That shit's, like, mundane. 1 year of lifting already puts you above 90% of American males, it'd be like wasting a wish on a sports car when you can just wish for a billion bucks and make the sports car redundant. You guys are thinking too small; check this shit out.

1. I wish for the ability to bless wine, Jesus style, that de-ages, treats, cures, and revives anything and everything I can think of. Bad back? Gone. Failing eyesight? Not anymore. Dead? Let all ye gentle sinners arise. Etc, etc.

2. The ability to magically produce any amount of raw ingredient immediately, at no cost to the world or to me.

3. I can influence and control people who've eaten my food

Now here's where it gets badass. I go public with my wine abilities. I'm not strictly pro-humanitarian, in fact, I sell my powers to the US government for a very hefty sum, and for increasingly unfair legal benefits. Bankers, lawyers, government officials, they all come to me for a glass of blessed wine. I also do humanitarian shit too because I'm not a dick, but you know, I also make a lot of money and power on the side; gotta look out for numero uno too.

After I have a large house by the beach, I use my government connections to host wild beach parties, open to the public, where I barbecue all these meats, with fruits and veggies and shit, music blasting, people dancing-- it'll be great.

When everyone's eaten and drank and had a good time, they'll unwittingly be under my control, which I use for both good, and for selfish purposes, but mostly good.

I continue this trend all over the world, and let my brother take part in my racket, giving him a vial of wine that should revive me should I be assassinated, and a vial for him, should he be assassinated. Eventually I'll try to run my own country eternally young, alongside my family.

>>11704638

>>9442556

>>9436652
yea boi.

>>8953945
would consume violently/10