/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9157573
I wish it wasn't
>Prior knowledge: my dad likes to think of himself as a food critic because he watched Iron Chef once with my sister
>Try another vegan place a little ways away
>Pretty nice place, but has that hipster vibe all vegan places have
>waiter makes some small talk while we order drinks
>as soon as he's gone my dad says "That guy adds to the counter-culture atmosphere, he's like hip hop"
>ask him what that means
>"You know, he's got an urban flair"
>call him out on it because we got a black waiter
>"No, it's not that. He's hip! Don't assume everything is a race thing!"
>Drop it and just thankful that he didn't tell that to the guy
>As we're ordering Mom says "We're gonna gorge ourselves tonight!"
>We all ordered a single dish each, not even appetizers
>Food comes in a bit later
>I ordered a hot pot type dish, and it came with a small piece of card to rest the spoon on
>Dad eyes it immediately
>"Nice presentation on your dish, anon. Nice use of the newspaper"
>ask him what that means
>"It makes the presentation street food"
>Ignore him
>When we finish our meal, Mom stops the waiter as he's picking up the dishes
>"Wait, let us lick the plates!"
>Dad keeps talking about the "deconstructed urban atmosphere" on the way back to the car
There's one more annoying thing my dad does, but it is hard to put into words. He likes to play up the fact that he has a "chocolate addiction". He buys some chocolate covered peanuts every weekend at the store, eats them all in the course of two days, then complains the rest of the week that he needs his "fix". It's not fucking funny, but he always comes out of his office yelling "I need chocolate" in a high-pitched lunatic voice like it's the most hilarious thing ever. When he orders a chocolate dessert at a restaurant he makes dumb growling noises whenever my mom says she wants to try some. I am so glad I am back at uni now.