/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9859306
>Vodka ( $6.99 for 750ml God bless the south)
vodka was $10/handle (1.75L) here in vegas. that exact vodka was suddenly gone one day (the brand was surprisingly local and distilled in the valley). it saddens me because it was cheap as fuck and didn't taste like smirnoff/nail polish remover when you drank it straight or room temp. now the next cheapest is probably Wolfschmidt at $11 which is just shite to drink straight.

my previous drink was last week sunday. haven't really eaten more than 2k calories since then either. the days have gotten so damn boring, lethargic and it goes on for longer than i remember from not drinking. part of me wants to go buy a cheap handle to save money and the other part wants to buy cheap beer so i don't get as fucked up but it costs more in terms of $/ABV. plus if i get too fucked up it might trigger another bipolar manic episode of mine which isn't pretty. it feels fucking great when i am in an episode but i'm severely more prone to doing stupid/regretful shit. i'm also in the depressive state and was close to ending it these last 2 weeks. the last time i felt this low was a few years ago when i was binge drinking a handle of vodka every 3 days for several weeks but i haven't drank a damn thing. i also took up smoking (cigarettes) maybe one fag every few days to help me cope. it's actually helped.

the difference in my appearance physically is so different from abstaining, it's mind boggling. my face has gotten skinnier, the dark rings below my eyes have faded and my abdominal region isn't bloated so i can see my adonis belt and maybe a 2 pack. it may also be a contribution that i have the urge to drink more than to eat. i haven't really gotten any major hunger pangs from fasting.

i'll most likely get a handle during the weekend. hope ya'll are having a tolerable holiday season.