/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>Based on a cook a friend and I used to work with.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Culinary Arts, and I’ve been involved in numerous Iron Chef Challenges, and I have over 300 confirmed cookbooks. I am trained in Vanilla Warfare and I’m the top slicer in the entire US deli forces. You are nothing to me but just another customer. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this restaurant, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Yelp? Drink again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of waiters across the USA and your Order is being taken right now so you better prepare for the salad, maggot. The salad that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call flavor. You’re fucking hungry, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cook for you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in sandwiches, but I have access to the entire kitchen of the Next Food Network Star and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable tastebuds off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the tab, you goddamn idiot. I will shit gravy all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking fed, kiddo.