/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20482024
>NOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST SAY IT'S A HOT SAUCE AND THEN GIVE ME A HECKIN BUFFALO SAUCERINO AAAAAAAAAAAARGH I'M CALLING THE POLICE

>>20335263
>April 12, 2023
>Uncle Ulcer’s Maximum Alert Ghost Pepper Gastrointestinal Genocide, first tasting
>I found the bottle art to be quite clever and humorous, although I could see how one might be shocked by an anthropomorphic chili pepper in a Wehrmacht uniform shoving the nozzle of a flamethrower up a man’s rectum and blasting it with fire - perhaps they could change it to a generic uniform so as not to offend our Semitic friends.
>A local eatery is featuring the sauce on their chicken wing offerings. I took a seat at the bar and ordered a dozen, and a Gutpunch Hopfuck IPA from Motherhumper Brewing (I typically would not get something quite so hoppy to accompany the main course but I was feeling bold this eve). A family with ugh… THREE children was seated in the dining area behind me. I attempted to register my disdain by glaring menacingly over my shoulder at the parents but their attention was focused on their spawn. I politely requested the barmaid reseat me at the end of the bar.
>The plate arrives. A neon orange-reddish sauce glistens on the wings. The scent is rather pungent, it stings the nostrils. I raise my glass and nod to a young lass a few seats away. She rolls her eyes and goes back to staring at her phone. I pick up a drumstick and take a small bite. The taste was… underwhelming. I had expected something more… flavorful from Uncle Ulcer’s, but all I can sense is pure capsaicin. Fire and needles spread throughout my mouth and down my throat, swear begins to bead on my brow. I whip out my pocket square with a flourish and dab my forehead. The woman a few seats down now has her back completely turned to me.
>A few minutes have passed and I have not taken another bite. I have emptied my pint and am halfway through a glass of milk, courtesy of the barmaid. She has politely but firmly rejected my request to exchange the wings for another dozen in a different sauce. I tip my hat and bid her good night.
>Final score: I rank the sauce a 6/10.