/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10022634
>boogeyman here (badumtiss)
Not really a crisis. Just have never enjoyed life. Probably won't. I can have a superficial good moment like a laugh, an exciting moment, or relaxing. Passing the time basically. I don't understand shit like love. I feel like it's the lie people sell themselves to bury their disgust. I've tried loving. It's some weird feeling you can manipulate yourself into having like all the rest of them. I feel like I operate mostly on reflex after trying to manipulate emotions to suit the situation long enough. Don't get me wrong, I believe in God, but Christianity is not my cup of tea. Under my cloak I kill the king and all that shit. Don't have it in me. Me existence is like flopping down onto some asphalt and being slowly dragged across it until all you can see is an endless pulp smear. Not trying to be an edgy snowflake. One way of putting it is that I'm a walking, talking puddle of shit crafted by reacting to things like a ripple in the toilet of existence. I know I can do great things because I tend to excel at most things I do. But that doesn't matter because it's gotten me nowhere but one step closer to self discovery and viewing everything as shit. Even the people I really get along with and know me better than most, I make a point to tell them I hate them too, but they pass the time. I get shitfaced or don't and make pretend we're friends even though they know. The girls that flirt with me? I flirt back. Fuck them, but not literally. So tedious. They're mostly not even ugly. I'm actually just this much of a piece of shit. This whole post is super edgy and gay. Damn. I wish it wasn't. Maybe I'm just an edgy faggot who hates edgy faggots.