/ck/ - Food & Cooking

i want to open a restaurant.
it will have more high-chairs than normal chairs
instead of normal chairs, it will have la-z-boy recliners.
instead of normal tables, there will be cedar planks and instead of table legs there will be cardboard tubes.
the restaurant itself will be an urban-modern gray building, but it will not have walls. only garage doors.
the theme of the restaurant will be unclear the entire time.
there will be a band that plays there, but it will be a 127-piece polka band that plays remixes of jazz music
the meals will range in price, anywhere from $4 to $60, but the prices will not be labeled on the menu, you will have to type the very long PLU into an iPad on the roof of the restaurant to find the price before import tariffs and taxes.
no matter what dish it is, it will be served on a plate made out of chocolate chip pita bread.
each table will be served with complimentary trix cereal with milk and a spork
all of the drinks will be served in pic related.
there will be a dress code to enter the restaurant. you can only wear trash bags and neon duct tape with ray-bans
the waitstaff will be dressed up as muppets of the opposite gender.
kwanza music will play as ambience.
you will get free refills without consent throughout the meal, but you will get refilled with a different drink than what you ordered, even if you ask for something different.
selected chairs will be spring-loaded.
if you are interested, i will post a menu.