/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Give that shit up, folks. My mom is in the hospital with cirrhosis in agony, probably dying her ass off at 53.

Been dry some time myself now, seeing her has decided me on quitting for good.

>first night in new dorm at uni
>had to move after first year because fuck me
>building is crawling with freshman qt's
>decide to cook chicken and rice
>tired as fug from moving all day
>forget to oil the pan
>throw two chicken tits in without even realizing
>step away to go find some seasoning
>come back to flip the tits
>theyve permanently bonded with pan
>need the jaws of life to peel them off
>wasted perfectly good chicken and made a huge mess of one of my only pans
>smoke everywhere
>doesnt even smell much like burning
>my roommates dont even notice
>3 qt's knock at the door
>autistic roommate answers it, im clearly busy
>they claim to have all "forgot their phone charger"
>ask to borrow his
>they all start saying things like "wow it smells so good in here omg, someone must be cooking!"
>ohfuckohfuckohfuck
>they come around the corner
>see me scramble to flip the pan upside down in the sink, chicken still glued to the bottom of it
>the leader awkwardly says "hey"
>i just say hey back
>mfw
>roommate gives them charger
>they leave
>order a pizza and frown in my room the rest of the night

I know this has been said countless times but, holy shit, no wonder you're all fat.

>mfw bought a grainy, over-ripe melon

literally the worst

>>4763580
>using your knife to stab holes in a can

>cooking naked, cause fuck it
>chopping jalapenos to go into an appetizer
>finish chopping, throw everything into fridge to marinate
>sit on the couch, inadvertently scratch penis
>2 minutes later, penis is on fire from leftover Jalapeno juices

I should've washed my hands better; I could've stopped it ;_;

Also general bad cooking stories thread.

>>4428513

>Slurping your milk
>Picking food out of the pan while I'm cooking