/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>DID SOMEBODY SAY HOT SAUCE?!?!?!?!?

>>18770460
Oh believe me, my kind anon, it is - about .4 oz of Badass Bart's Bad Batch of Bombastic Butthurt Billion Scoville Sauce!

>oh, waitress! *snaps fingers* come here, my poppet, I've decided on what I shall dine upon today.
>May I have the BEARDY MCBEARDMAN MEGA BEEFY QUADRUPLE BEEF BEER BACON N BOURBON BURGER WITH 3000 MONTH PINK HIMALAYAN SALT CAVE AGED CRUELTY FREE SLAVERY FREE NON GMO FARM TO TABLE CIGAR SMOKED GOUDA
>Oh, and of COURSE! My apologies for not realizing that the hot sauce menu was a subset of the MAIN menu (albeit a separate pamphlet detailing the intricacies of each sauce, as well as pairing suggestions, would be a welcome addition (pass that along to your sauce monger)). I shall sample your in-house BEELZEBUTT'S 7,000,000 SCOVILLE HEMORRHOID HOLOCAUST NUCLEAR ANAL LEAKAGE XXXXXX FECAL FURY SAUCE; and, my sweet, mayhaps a bottle of it to go? Though I am yet to taste it, I am sure that my buddies at the barcade - yes, a portmanteau of 'bar' and 'arcade,' and YES, you can actually DRINK as you PLAY VIDEO GAMES, whatever will they think of next? - will be utterly TICKLED by the label your crew has concocted for that bottle!
*taps glass*
>and another round of your hoppiest IPA, please!

>>17005742
>>17006122
>>17006194
>Heckin EPIC dude!!!! these are going STRAIGHT into my heckin COLLECTIONRINO

>>16955692
>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>>16859002
>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>this thread

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>Sorry, but you may need to branch out. Cholula is 110mg/tsp and is tasty, cheap, and easy-to-find in supermarkets and box stores. Same goes for El Yucateco red at 90g/tsp. Huy Fong Sriracha is 80g/tsp.
>Secret Aardvark may be a meme, but it's only 35g/tsp. However, once you've started ordering sauce online, your friends may start texting you soyjacks. It's a calculated risk. (Also, I'm not sure whether Aardvark's factory in Portland even exists anymore since the recent "diversification.")
>I think that better & hotter sauces may tend to have less sodium because more of the flavor is coming from the peppers and other ingredients. (The very hottest sauce on my shelf is sodium-free.) Plus with hotter sauces, you tend to use less.

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perha some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...?
>Ah, the dilemma of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>Nice FUCKING meme you fucking SPERGLORD FAGSHIT. Holy FUCK it pisses me off when some unoriginal, retarded assholish dickweed decides it would just be FUCKING HILARIOUS to post the SAME. OVERUSED. JOKE. What do you even fucking hope to gain out of this? Karma? Well you're certainly getting that, cause it seems like a lot of other inbred shitface fucking retarded autistic fuckshits are thinking you're just FUCKING HILARIOUS and that this joke HASN'T BEEN MADE A BILLION FUCKING TIMES. FUCK you.

>>16116843
>tfw your multi-year long campaign to force a meme on a tibetan amateur mycology forum actually works
its a surreal kind of feel

>Hot Sauce Thread

>All chiles are inferior to the mighty Habanero. A perfect interplay of heat and flavour.

>organic
>gluten free
>ancient grains
>himalayan pink salt
>plant-based milk
>probiotic
>farm to table
>ethically sourced
>slave free
>impossible meat
>bugs
>bone broth
>antioxidants
>ipa
>egg whites
>meat on the bone
>hot sauce

>Artificial difficulty

>>15224240
ABSOLUTELY!!!!

>>15208964
>corn
>beans

Bean soup thread incoming

>This is it. We've reached peak snack food. There's nothing to surpass this.

>food challenges

>boneless?? BONELESS??? BRO omg you must not be REAL man bro. A real man takes 5 minutes to eat 0.25oz of meat off of a BONE and getting SAUCE all over my HANDS bro! Just like the CAVEMEN bro!! That’s why I have this EPIC beard, haha I just gotta be careful that I don’t get any of this GHOST PEPPER SOYCE in my beard cuz it’ll mess with my MANLY beard OILS that I rub in. Boneless wings are practically CHIKY NUGGIES!! Haha get it??! Like those epic style baby yoda memes I’ve been seeing everywhere on reddit!!

>boneless?? BONELESS??? BRO omg you must not be REAL man bro. A real man takes 5 minutes to eat 0.25oz of meat off of a BONE and getting SAUCE all over my HANDS bro! Just like the CAVEMEN bro!! That’s why I have this EPIC beard, haha I just gotta be careful that I don’t get any of this GHOST PEPPER SOYCE in my beard cuz it’ll mess with my MANLY beard OILS that I rub in. Boneless wings are practically CHIKY NUGGIES!! Haha get it??! Like those epic style baby yoda memes I’ve been seeing everywhere on reddit!!

>>15075577