/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>hawaiian pizza

>>9722299
I don't know if this is the right board to post this, but to hell with it. I just got through this and feel like this story needs to be shared.

>Go to local Pizza place
>Get my regular order (Their version of a Meat Lover's), chat up with a few friends who happen to be there
>Something tastes "Off" about the pizza, but can't figure it out right then and there
>Say goodbyes, leave, do some more errands, come home late
>Stomach starts to rumble like an earthquake
>Mouth starts to water and jaw clenched
>"Oh fuck me, I'm going to vomit."
>Haul ass to get to the bathroom before my mouth explodes
>Don't make it in time
>Pompeii erupts from my mouth, everything I ate that day gets exiled from my stomach
>It takes a good 20 minutes before I can even start breathing normally again and not projectile-vomit like a shotgun blast
>Lightning strikes nearby, power goes out throughout the whole house
>I go get a flashlight to survey the damage
>"Christ, It's fucking EVERYWHERE"
>My bathroom now looks like the set of a SAW movie, no bullshit
>Last set of clean clothes I've got are completely destroyed
>Whole room smells like death, bile and rancid cooking oil (The culprit IMO; This isn't the first time I've had this kind of reaction to bad grease/oil)
>Have to shave my beard just to get rid of the smell from my face, battery on it dies halfway through
>It takes a full hour to clean and disenfect the bathroom
>Use up a whole can of aerosol spray to try and hide the stench
>Have to take a cold shower to get rid of the vomit still on my body because electric water-heater is out
>Only saving grace in all of this is my roommate isn't home yet to laugh at my misfortune

TL;DR Fuck local pizza places and fuck pizzas with meat on them. Never again /ck/, never again.