/ck/ - Food & Cooking

As of late, I have been purchasing commercially-made hamburgers for barbecuing processes. It began as an action of convenience, but there are various high-quality hamburgers available in many high-quality stores (i.e.: not Wal-Mart).

I must admit that I have been bragging about my barbecuing skills and menus at work, and one of my coworkers essentially invited himself (and the woman he lives with, they are unmarried) to my home for a BBQ dinner.

I purchased three different kinds of hamburgers, including a stuffed variety, venison and bacon, and a more traditional kind. I grilled all three on apple wood charcoal and served them with an array of toppings and condiments along with some grilled vegetables.

The next day, the coworker told others that my meal was, "good, but I don't make my own hamburgers". First of all, I do, I just chose not to that night because I have been working late in an attempt to compensate for slackers (such as he). Secondly, my hamburger selection is impeccable.

He invited me to his home for dinner tonight and his "famous homemade hamburgers" consisted of low-grade ground hamburger beef (the kind that comes in a tube) with iodized salt and pre-ground pepper. That's it. And cooked on propane, no less.

Why do people think that cooking hand-formed patties of low-quality beef is some sort of hallmark of good barbecuing? I could barely choke the dry pucks down and could just imagine the ammonia, non-therapeutic antibiotics, GMO corn-fed, Listeria-laced food-of-the-masses as it polluted my body.

Oh, and his "partner" announced she was pregnant, as if having a bastard child is an accomplishment. A great night indeed, wait until I leak my review of his hosting abilities tomorrow at work.