/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13524778
Imagine you're somewhat affluent, live on a few acres of land, and breed championship Shar-Pei's in your "free time". You have a lot of empty property with some fruit trees, a little garden, a coyote den on the periphery, and your closest neighbors are a mile away, but they have a kid who wanders onto your property on his adventures from time to time. One day you come across someone selling golden retriever/pit bull mixed puppies, and you pick up the cutest one on a whim. He's a good dog, and you treat him just as well as your prize dogs, but he sneaks out a lot, despite always coming back for a meal. One day your Shar-Pei puppies start to go missing, so you go to investigate. It turns out your golden bull has cleared out the coyote den and made a bed out of their pelts, the neighbor kid has been stealing liquor from his parents' pantry and tossing the half empty bottles into the coyote den, and your golden bull has been making a second meal out of your Shar-Pei pups, burying them, and feasting on their fermented flesh before coming home for pets and kibble. I basically look like that.