/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15972507
>Anthony Bourdain
>uptight leftie faggot cuck tries to impress people by showing off other people's food and flexing with gross "exotic" gutter oil SEAmonkey food
>Guy Fieri
>fatass loveable everyman extrovert who fucking loves food pals around with successful local chefs and has a great time
Game was rigged from the start.

>>15179012
I'm not a good story teller but this should fall near the end of the thread so who cares.
Every year my mom would take me crystal mining with her in Arkansas. It was an annual quart ming competition or something. I was eight so digging in the dirt was my jam. Usually we'd stay in a motel that specifically catered to out of town miners. It was a weird place. There was a restraunt run by the wife of the owner and she had out there stuff hung all over the walls.
I got a burger and I remember thinking it tasted weird. The whole thing was pink and reminded me of how my grandma's house smelled (mildew). Afterwards everything seemed ok and I slept through the night.
The next morning we took my moms jeep up a steep backroad to one of the mines. The car jerked a lot and that's when I knew things were amiss. My mom let me out and I projectile vomited while spewing shit on the side of the road. I probably should have specified how big this competition is. Imagine thousands of prospectors and hippies converging to different mines in one area of Arkansas. I had to sit there on the side of the road like a two way lawn sprinkler of shit and vomit while hundreds of people drove by. Some honked, most ignored it, and some even stopped to try and help.
When my body had seemed to stop imploding my mom decided we should go down to the mine so we didn't wasted the trip. I basically found a hole from a previous quartz vain and hid there like a shit golem. Every once and while a miner would stop and give me water or crackers. Nothing stayed down. By the time we left there was a rank puddle of ass juice (it wasn't thick enough to be shit) and regurgitated water. I don't recall how it felt as I'm now in my late twenties but to this day I can't eat burgers