/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Just relapsed again, maybe I shouldn't even call it that because I'm not trying hard enough to stop. I took an almost solid shit today for the first time in the last week, got too sick to drink and was forced to do withdrawals again. I keep assuming I'm going to die every time, hopefully a massive stroke so it's quick.

I wish I had become a heroin addict so at least the highs were really highs. The peaks of my alcoholic experience are watching shit late night shows, shitposting, or crying while listening to music and breaking things.

I'm 32 and I have cirrhosis, acute pancreatitis twice, bleeding ulcers in my stomach, nerve damage is getting bad and brain damage is assumed. My kidneys are fucking troopers though, I'm proud of them, no pissing blood yet. Destroyed social/family life so fucked you wouldn't believe it.

If you have anything to live for you probably wont ever get this bad. I wont tell you to stop, but if you have it in you try to cut back a bit. The reckless handle a day drinking catches up with you pretty quick.