/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19871061
>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>oh, waitress! *snaps fingers* come here, my poppet, I've decided on what I shall dine upon today.
>May I have the BEARDY MCBEARDMAN MEGA BEEFY QUADRUPLE BEEF BEER BACON N BOURBON BURGER WITH 3000 MONTH PINK HIMALAYAN SALT CAVE AGED CRUELTY FREE SLAVERY FREE NON GMO FARM TO TABLE CIGAR SMOKED GOUDA
>Oh, and of COURSE! My apologies for not realizing that the hot sauce menu was a subset of the MAIN menu (albeit a separate pamphlet detailing the intricacies of each sauce, as well as pairing suggestions, would be a welcome addition (pass that along to your sauce monger)). I shall sample your in-house BEELZEBUTT'S 7,000,000 SCOVILLE HEMORRHOID HOLOCAUST NUCLEAR LEAKAGE XXXXXX FECAL FURY SAUCE; and, my sweet, mayhaps a bottle of it to go? Though I am yet to taste it, I am sure that my buddies at the barcade - yes, a portmanteau of 'bar' and 'arcade,' and YES, you can actually DRINK as you PLAY VIDEO GAMES, whatever will they think of next? - will be utterly TICKLED by the label your crew has concocted for that bottle!
*taps glass*
>and another round of your hoppiest IPA, please!

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>Why yes I am an collector of hot sauces! How could you tell?

>tabasco, because fruit acidity is always better when paired with vinegar acidity, and tabasco is primarily a vinegar sauce with some heat.

>>17274819
>>>i totally saturate every meal i eat with chili powder and hot sauce

>>17249787
>adds it to his hot sauce collection

>Can I get that with extra EXTRA hot sauce, please? I like it WICKED spicy!!!!! Cuz I'm heckin MANLY!!!!

>why yes! i AM a connoisseur of hot sauces!!! how could you tell????

>Why yes, I DO have quite the large collection of hot sauces at home! How could you tell?

>anyone bring there hot sauce trades with them? im missing the 1978 misprinted red cap tabasco sauce bottle from my collection

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>>17062088
>Tobasco? Not hot enough, chief
>Frank's Red Hot? Pssh, don't waste my time, kiddo
>Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce? Now THAT'S a REAL hot sauce!!!! You can tell because it has skulls and boobs and cusswords on the bottle and it boasts over 5,000,000,000 scolvilles!

>Eating meals that are so insanely hot that each bite is a struggle and with each mouthful you feel like it's too much and you have to give up and your face is bright red and your body is sweating so badly and you're hiccupping feels like magic to me it feels like I'm floating through the air and I'm not in the room and I'm so, so happy
>I like that with oily food only though, only had it happen to me 3-4 times in my life I miss it so much

>>17048952
>Tobasco? Not spicy enough, chief.
>Frank's Red Hot? Pssh, not worth my time.
>Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce? Yep, now THAT is a real hot sauce! You can tell because it boasts 5,000,000 scolvilles and has boobs and skulls on the bottle

>Why yes, I do own quite a large collection of hot sauces! How could you tell?

>>17021502
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>>17015454
>I freaking love it.

>>17006197
>>17006260
>>17006312
>EPIC collection, fellow hot sauce fanatic!!!

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>>16952523
>EPIC!!!! This sauce is going right into my heckin collection!!!

>>16909791
>hot sauce

>>16893491
And I'm going to keep posting it as long as it keeps making you and the tranny jannies piss, shart, and gape yourselves in impotent rage