/ck/ - Food & Cooking

JANNIES HE'S BACK

>"Most people shit in the toilet but I prefer to shit in the kitchen. I've found that human feces (or 'shite' as the brits say) is a great tenderizer. The intestines break down food, so adding some of those residual digestive enzymes is a great way to break down those tougher cuts of meat."

>>16326589
>"I've found that human feces (or 'shite' as the brits say) is a great tenderizer. The intestines break down food, so adding some of those residual digestive enzymes is a great way to break down those tougher cuts of meat."

We know you're on here. We see your posts. Whether you're so insecure that you can't ignore the trolls or you're actually shilling yourself, you seem desperate for our attention and approval.

You need to accept the fact that nobody here likes you or will ever accept you. You're an arrogant, unskilled amateur who presents your poor taste and advice as expert opinion. The format might work for the equally clueless "lifehack" crowd on Reddit, but not here.

If you really want to earn our favor, however, you'll have to pull a ridiculous stunt and completely change the course of your channel. But you must understand that this has to be big.

So, here's a proposal: Ruin yourself. Do it for our amusement.

Start a perfectly normal video about salting your cutting board or some nonsense, then just take a big shit in front of the camera. "Most people shit in the toilet but I actually find it better to shit in the kitchen," you'll say.

But you're not done. You're only just beginning. You'll go on to say "I've found that human feces (or 'shite' as the brits say) is a great tenderizer. The intestines break down food, so adding some of those residual digestive enzymes is a great way to break down those tougher cuts of meat."

At this point, you're rubbing your shit into a chuck roast. You're making an "improved" boeuf bourguignon. "Some people would add the traditional garnishes, but they're really tedious and unnecessary" you say as you slide the shit-rubbed roast into the pot and piss in it.

Like any braise, you put in just enough piss to barely submerge the meat, splashing your much-beloved deglazing whiskey to finish the job. Then you cover the pot and throw it into the oven, low and slow for 4-5 hours.

>>16316957
schizo

seasoning my cutting board did nothing, is this guy a complete fraud?