/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17549369
>amino
>not amino
Touchè.... I'm gonna go kill myself now.

>painstakingly season and salt the dish as it's cooking, obtain the perfect balance of flavor
>serve food to others
>Someone heavily salts it before even taking a bite
>"This is pretty tasty, anon... but a little salty for me"

How do you make dough
HOW DO YOU MAKE DOUGH
I've struggled with this for months now, every time I try to make some dough, be it for a loaf of homemade sourdough or even something as simple as pizza, the motherfucking dough sticks to my hands like cum to a doujin character
HOW DO YOU MAKE DOUGH
I can jam both (BOTH) of my hands into a bag of flour, and the dough will still stick. I can add the entire bag of flour itself, and the dough will still stick to my hands. I've tried oiling them, I've tried wearing gloves, I've even gone as far as double-battering my fucking hands like they were fish filets by oiling them, coating them in flour, oiling them again, and putting on a final coat of flour so that there's 0 (FUCKING Z E R O) chance of the dough sticking to my hands, and guess what?
IT STILL FUCKING STICKS
H O W D O Y O U M A K E D O U G H
I can't even fucking knead it! The best thing I can do is grip the bowl the mixture is in with both hands (remember, both hands), and make dramatic swirling motions so the paste clumps together due to the centrifugal force into a vague ball shape. I leave it for an hour to rise, it doubles in size, and who could've guessed it, IT STICKS TO THE BOWL. The bowl I OILED. It doesn't matter what recipe I follow, it all ends the same.
I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR MONTHS
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE DOUGH

>been to 3 different stores over the past 3 weeks
>none have had all dressed ruffles

I think the thing I miss most about Canada now that I'm in the US are the snacks

>>13324816
You’re all idiots. Tipping is situational, here are some examples.
>elderly blacks
They should be tipped generously as they are generally pleasant.
>gays, women in college, Indians
Never tip under any circumstances. These are subhumans and have no need for money. Would you give money to a squirrel? I think you would not.
This is not an exhaustive list but gives the general philosophy.

>I'll never bury my face in Claire's hot pocket

IT HAS BEEN
T H R E E
F U C K I N G
Y E A R S
WHY ARE YOU SHIT EATING CUNTS STILL THIS SHITTER SHATTERED AT TRUMP
YOU HAVE NOT, AND WILL NEVER MEET THE MAN
MOST OF THE SHIT HE DOES WONT AFFECT YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HIM AND GO BE PRODUCTIVE FOR ONCE IN YOUR GOD DAMN LIVES

>>11221188
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CHECK THOSE DIGITS

>handling spicy peppers
>I can't boop my cat's nose because the capsaicin might sting

>>10143835
This

>Not undercooking in the microwave to have that slight cold in the center

You guys are all small time.

>>10070442

>>9581545
I don't want to go into detail but it basically went like this:
"you said you'd have vegan food"
"It's shrooms!"
"it's meat."
"no really It's shrooms, I can even get you wiki page and recipes for it"
"fuck you I ate a piece of meat because of you you fucking murderer I hope you die in a car crash"
*door slam*

>tfw mom makes some uranium yellow cake for your birthday

YOU.
FUCKING.
FFFAAAAAAGGGGGOOOOOOTTTTTSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How in the FUCK does ANY of this STUPID SHIT make you the JOKER? Oh my fucking god you underage faggots need to DIE

>>9206625
I have a method (which I have never seen posted online before by anyone but me) for brewing drinkable 14% cider in under 48 hours without a turbo yeast but every time I post it on here I get l shat on for it being "prison hooch" just because it brews so fast. These faggots won't even try it!

>no grease trap meal on white plate
>I STILL knew it was him before I even tapped the thumbnail

>>8682029
What in the niggerloving fuck am I watching.

What are some common ways to improve my cooking? I look at stuff here and I don't know if I'm a fucking idiot or not.

Like for example, is sugar ok to be used in pasta sauce? I always thought it cut acidity but my Italian gf keeps telling me I'm a fucking idiot.

>inb4 newfag

>try to tip the cashier at McDonalds
>they don't accept tips

>>8100406
>Wipe away those tears with new Kleenex bacon-scented tissues!

>>8014967
>>person calls themself a foodie
ENOUGH

everything in Culvers is just sticks of butter you heard it here first folks

>>7920183
>>7920358
This gave me PTSD holy shit I miss Pumpkin Pie tarts

They were so fucking good if you stuck them in the fridge for a few hours, it was almost as good as the real thing, a damn near close call

>mango-pineapple salsa