/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8321127
dumb as fuck
but here's the recipe: all jacked up

>literally throw the cob into the pot of boiling water, splashing it everywhere and burning yourself in the process
>retrieve the cob and—while still soaking wet, and without drying it—slather it clumsily in cream cheese applied with a fork
>lay out the wonderbread, arrange american cheese slices overtop
>using the same tongs you lifted the cob out of the water with, grab the cream-cheesy cob and awkwardly lift it over to the bread
>the dripping cob slips out of the togns and lands at an awkward angle on the bread and american cheese, splatting watery cream cheese everywhere
>poke at the cob until it is properly aligned
>dump Jack's Special Salsa™ overtop of the cob
>clumsily attempt to wrap the bread and cheese
>the bread is falling apart
>ignore this
>add 5 to 8 heaping tablespoons of sugar to a tub of Becel
>try to mix it in; too stiff, splash sugar everywhere
>microwave the tub briefly
>try to mix it, again
>slather the dilapidated breadcob in this liquid buttersugar mixture
>lift it with tongs into a cold pan
put it on the stove
>turn on the stove
>blacken one side of the butterbread salsacob
>cheese is leaking out everywhere into the pan and burning
>keep trying to roll the salty cheese sugarcob
>fire alarm goes off
>lift the finished greasecob out of the pan with the tongs again and plate it.
>let it cool down.
>keep letting it cool down.
>allow the oil to congeal, wait until it is below room temperature.
>lift it to your mouth, extend your tongue all the way out, deepthroat the wisconsin fiestacob with your tongue extended all the way out as if to tickle a set of imaginary balls
>gag, choke, and cough with the cob still in your mouth, spraying salsa, cream cheese and chunks of bread everywhere.

WALA