/ck/ - Food & Cooking

What's some really good calorie-rich food that could help me gain weight pretty quick? I know pasta's great for packing in calories, and a friend of mine told me to eat a metric fuckton of oatmeal, but are there any good smoothie recipies or really easy to eat foods out there that can help me pack on pounds?

>>9643688
>airline staff won't let him clean up the mess on the carpet and demands that janitorial staff be called in

this is fucking stupid and probably the result of unions run amok. when I was in grad school, we weren't allowed to sweep or mop the floors in our labs due to the janitorial union's labor agreement. I worked in a chemistry lab, and yet they didn't trust us with a fucking mop, and the union would file a grievance if they saw someone trying to clean their lab themselves. American labor unions are fucking retarded.

>>9576639
>German beer is absolutely overrated

No shit, Sherlock. This cu/ck/ explains why:

>>9579519
>the "reinheitsgebot" cripples them from making any variety

For some reason, eurotrash still thinks that the only American beers are Budweiser, Coors, and other cheap, macro trash. If you compare any German lager to any American made, macro-brewed, cheap pilsner lager, the German beer will seem superior.

However, most Germans don't realize that there is an entire world of ales that have a variety of flavors that American micro and mid-size brewers have been making for 30+ years. It's not hard to find an American ale that tastes better than most German lagers. The fact that Germans cling to "muh purity laws" limits their ability to innovate and make better beer. Technology and creativity have left the German beer makers stuck in the past, as they now lament their existence as anachronistic deniers of progress. This is why German beer today is overrated.

Unfortunately, a lot of American brewers have fallen into the trap of equating hops flavor with good flavor. That's why the "craft beer" market in America is currently over-saturated with pales ales, IPAs, and other over-hopped trash. It's like those brewers forgot that there is an upper limit to how much hops flavor belongs in a beer. Hops in a beer is just like salt or sugar in any food: adding some can enhance the taste and balance other flavors, but at some point you can add too much and spoil the experience.

tl;dr Germans can't innovate bc of "muh purity laws"; 'muricans can make good beers, but too many brewers over-hop their shit

>>9528594
do what I do: bring chocolates to drop for the dogs to eat. I started doing this in the park when assholes refused to keep their dogs on leashes, despite all the laws in place compelling them to do so. If I see an un-leashed dog in the park now, and it's not in the designated, fenced in off-leash exercise area, I just drop a piece of chocolate for it to find.

>>9489042
If you watch with sound starting around 8:00, she demonstrates first how to cut potatoes for french fries with a knife. This is the difference between Julia and Jack: JC actually went to culinary school and knew what the fuck she was doing in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Jack is willfully ignorant of proper techniques and methods.

She even says "I think the knife is much easier than that" because the whole point is that those stupid gadgets are fucking worthless. A knife and some hand-eye coordination are always superior.

3/10 for making me respond

https://youtu.be/XMqvMaXnzKc?t=516

>>9295648
they could go to /b/, or kill themselves already. either one seems acceptable.

>>9243856
you should try keeping the eggs sunny side up, and maybe just cook one egg. If you wanted to get "fancy", two quail eggs (sunny side up) over slices of perfectly cooked steak could be great.

garnish with chives for color.

>>9226572
oh, so you were idiot with repetitive stress injured wrists shilling B&D's electric knife sharpener. You said nothing of value in that thread or this one.

Neck yourself, mate.

>>9208186
aww geez, Peg, not Virginia Slim Spaghetti again!

https://youtu.be/JdgWRmnFZzo?t=7

>>9191631
fuck, dad, you were supposed to COOK the chicken, not CREMATE it!

XP XP XP XP XP

>>9088868
>>>using silverware

what are you, a fucking weaboo? am I only allowed to use chopsticks, desu? Am I not allowed to pick up my food with a fork or cut my steak with a knife? fucking neck yourself, mate.

>>9086993
>still have to deal with a cashier though

that's not true. self-checkouts exist in the civilized parts of the world. move out of the sticks, faget.

>>9045429
Mom's spaghetti is the only correct answer.

>>9006341
someone needs to update this with more jack fuck-ups. Add the oobleck chicken, fail pie, and cutting himself on a fish. I would do it, but I'm too stupid to know how to make a webm.

other vids to add:
>>9006029
>>9006015
>>9005984

>>8989527
I love spaghetti!

>>8981161
>oh man he got so exposed and yet he is still so delusional and confident.

Can we just add his picture to the Dunning-Krueger Effect wiki page?

>>8901459
there's nothing inherently wrong with cooking chicken to 135F. You just have to hold it at that temperature for about an hour and ten minutes to render it safe to eat.

http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/07/the-food-lab-complete-guide-to-sous-vide-chicken-breast.html

>>8738615
is that Jack? that shitbrain needs to learn how to cook a fucking steak. or anything for that matter.

>>8658874
The extent or severity of self-inflicted injury is irrelevant to establishing cause or fault. This dumb bitch poured the coffee on herself by her own lack of caution (and testimony).

Whether she got a simple case of the old pink thigh, or full-on amputations due to burns is irrelevant. The proximate cause of her injuries was her own lack of caution. Case closed.

>>8557847
well actually, that tool is small rod covered in DIAMOND abrasive:

>>8557011


so technically, since DIAMOND is harder than metal, it IS sharpening, you fucking cock mongler. kys.

>>8443624
>Olive Garden, Macaroni Grille, Outback Steakhouse

this has to be bait. Are you actually so retarded that you pay to eat at those places? The only reason I would EVER even set foot in any of those places is if someone gave me a gift card, and even then I would probably spend it all at the bar.

You can't complain about the level of service provided by restaurants that are basically McDonald's + waitstaff. The bad service you're enduring is self-inflicted.

#micdrop

>>8428839
>red wine pairs better with red meat

shrimps get red when they cook. how is that not red meat?

>>8232371
>>8234574
>SESAME OIL IS A FINISHING OIL

but that's wrong, Monica. It's literally used in most Oriental meat marinades, especially the Japanese-y ones. You must not know how to cook exotic foods. Lurk Moar.