/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15581972
This, but those fruit juice pouches that turned you into liquid metal or some shit.

>>14173414
>>14173431
>he didn't boil his tofu

>reddit found the 4chan memes

>>13914815
>out getting my daily two cans of sardines because of commie-rationing
>armed grocery guards are patrolling the three-block line up to enter the store
>lardo social distancing warrior standing 2 metres in front of me loudly tries to virtue signal whenever a grocery guard comes by
>"I am SOO thankful for you guys helping #flattenthecurve!"
>next time the grocery guards come by, I point at her and yell:
>"OFFICER, THIS WOMAN STOOD WITHIN 2 METRES OF ME!"
>grocery guard bruiser shoulder tackles her to the pavement
>bottles of hand-sanitizer spill out of her purse
>"SHE'S HOARDING HAND-SANITIZER! GET HER!"
>line up turns into a mob riot as everyone scrambles to steal this social distancing warrior's bottles of home-brewed hand sanitizer
>I sneak to the front of the line and past the grocery guards
>grab my two cans of sardines
>head through self checkout to pay for my purchase
>set down my cans in the bagging area as I pull out my wallet and pay for them
>pull my card out of the reader, it's covered in black ink
>I go to retrieve my cans
>the entire bagging area is covered in a puddle of superglue
>receipt dispenser whirs before ejecting a fifteen mile long wad of coupons straight into my groin
GROCERY JESTEEEEEEEERRRR!!!