/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>It's my birthday
>Some friends and I go to my favourite restaurant
>I've been going to this place for long enough that the staff know me and give me a good table
>One of my friends is a girl who is usually cool, but can be an attention whore sometimes
>She has 2 vodka and cokes and starts acting drunk
>All of the guys are laughing and fawning over her
>She starts a food fight
>An actual food fight
>Everyone on the table is just throwing shit everywhere and laughing
>I put my cutlery down, pay for my food at the bar and leave
>Takes them a while to notice

I can never go back.

>Mum comes round to help me out with some gardening
>I'm carrying bags of manure to the garden from the car
>My back is turned for 30 fucking seconds
>Get back to the garden to see her cutting open one of the bags
>With my brand new boning knife
>Then she sticks it blade down in the soil
>mfw