/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Haven't been on /ck/ for a while, are the fascist no-fun jannies gone or why is this thread still up after 2 days?

>>10778942
Imagine being such a flyover you've never actually had a late August tomato from just across the river in NJ, so ripe that you can smell it practically starting to rot, so overripe in fact that it starts to crack and bleed out in your hands as you're carrying it up the stairs in your pre-war walkup and it's dribbling on your hardwood floor as you take it into the kitchen to be eviscerated by your 210mm munetoshi wa-slicer

>>10772157
Any answer other than strozzapreti, with von Mühlenen Gruyère AOP and Vacche Rosse 30 month parmigiano-reggiano in a 2.5:1 ratio, using local full fat no-homo milk and balinese long pepper might as well just eat canned dog food out of a plastic bowl

I am disgusted that people think "dieting" is somehow bad or to be ashamed of.

I've never been fat in my life, I have a 30 inch waist, a 38 inch chest, and chiseled abs, and I'm unashamed to admit that I will actively deny myself some kind of delicious, nutritionally unhelpful pastry for breakfast on a regular basis (there are some amazing spots near my office), and I regularly think about my macros. I enjoy the pastries a few times a week, and I enjoy other desserts from time to time as long as they are high quality. For example this morning for breakfast I had a kouign-amann made by an A-list pastry chef (he's not obscure, you definitely have heard of him if you give a shit about food, although I know most of you don't). For dinner I am having sauteed green vegetables with pecorino, and another protein shake. It's give and take. Obviously, when I am not shoveling 900 calories worth of butter and sugar down my throat at breakfast, I have more leeway with dinner.

I am not on a cut at the moment, I have nothing against desserts, although I refuse to eat low quality snacks (anything mass produced). If I'm blowing my TDEE it had damm well better be worth it. I also enjoy high quality alcoholic beverages even though they contribute nothing to my physique, but only in moderation. Point is, I am always "on a diet". There is literally nothing wrong with diets. It's like being on a budget, but for food. Being on a budget doesn't mean eating sawdust and cat food, it just means not blowing money on more Enzo Bonafe when the shoes I have will suffice.

I think it is crazy that people are supposed to be ashamed to care what they look like. I also spend a lot of money on fine clothes and getting them tailored just right, what's the point of not looking great? You might as well kill yourself. 100% unironic post here but I'm gonna post the toddler hipster because I know how this sounds on this website of all places.

>>10753586
t.obese, misshapen Mark Rippetoe victim

>>10745674
I've had it at David Chang's joint, I think last year, could have been two years ago, whenever it was that they were new. It's fine. The main reason for trying it is so you can be first on the block.

You're a little late by foodie standards but if you're a flyover then you'd still be on the cutting edge for another few years again. So by all means try it, then understand why it will still only be popular among vegetarians who need something that looks like meat for the 4th of July BBQ to avoid being harangued by busybody carnists.

It doesn't taste like meat and it's not really that great, but it does look a lot like a hamburger. If you dress it up enough then it doesn't matter, it's perfectly ok tasting but nothing more than ok.

>>10732783
The general rule for making good food when vegan or vegetarian is to actually make good food, instead of swapping out the meat part with some random vegetable and praying to jeebus

The "swap out a random vegetable for meat" approach was de rigueur among American vegetarians in the 1950s and 1960s when vegetarian cooking was a radical new concept in America, and nobody knew any better

This strategy remains popular in flyover states, which is why flyovers get triggered when they hear the V word

>a picture of an egg is now a picture without an egg
>OMG VEGANS ARE OPPRESSING ME?!?!
What is this, are fear-gripped straight wh*te flyover carnists this desperate for stimulation in their bland, hypoallergenic lives?

>>10710895
Having a car at all guarantees you'll be waiting in your car like a moron.

Can you imagine being such a flyover that you can't even imagine picking up a bottle without getting into a glass cage and pushing the gas and the brake pedal alternately for 30 minutes in order to avoid minor physical exertion?

I am glad I do not own a cage. I also do not own a television, or a microwave. I only have lossless recordings. None of my knives are stainless steel. I haven't eaten meat in three days because I am not a carnist either. Have I mentioned the fact that I do not buy goods manufactured in the United States any longer? They are dead to me, I dropped off my 6 pairs of Allen Edmonds at the thrift store, I prefer Carmina shoes now, for the most part. Although, lately, I have taken a liking to Enzo Bonafe

>>10704132
All of the above since I am not a flyover who limits my eating and drinking choices to what the local hayseeds consider "normal"

Also I've been gone for a few days, did the sharia mod get droned, or WTF? I thought alcohol discussion was haram now

>>10673532
The takoyaki cart fad came and went around 2009-ish, not sure what rock you've been living under

The current meme is neapolitan pizza trucks with an actual refractory oven inside

Is everyone on this board a flyover shut-in, or WTF?

But I don't. Maybe it's because I didn't have bad parents who used trash food as a substitute for proper care, like the average American family

Imagine being such a gastronomically deprived wh*teoid flyover that your default response to stress is to shovel garbage down your throat until you're so full the discomfort distracts you from whatever you were thinking about before

>>10630748
like welfare and poverty. I used to buy these things "ironically" when I moved into the gentrifying neighborhood. can't get 'em here anymore, all we have now is farm to table gastropubs and ateliers biodynamiques du vin

>>10628467
Everything thats' edible in illinois is deep fried and brown in color, for variety they squabble over whether to top it with pre-shredded beige "'''cheese'''' or ranch dressing or perhaps hot sauce if you're a social justice extremist who willingly ingests things enjoyed by "the blacks"

That's why flyovers are afraid of beverages that aren't beer. Imagine trying to pair a wine with that kind of practical joke food, what would it even be? Other than champagne nothing works

inb4 you have a different opinion than me therefore you have never set foot in the REAL AMERICA

I spend a lot more on food when I cook for myself than when I eat out, and I don't eat fast food either. In the winter I cook a lot more because of course there is less sun, and therefore useful daylight hours are shorter. At the moment I'm spending perhaps $400 a month on groceries not including wine.

The problem with cooking for one is that unless you like to throw out ingredients you end up basically turning every meal into "oh god how do I use this up before it goes bad".

As a result most of your meals end up being at least something you're not in the mood for, and more likely something you didn't want to eat in the first place, ever.

EIther that or you just make a huge fucking pot of bachelor slop and eat that every day for 2 weeks, and nobody wants that. Like, I won't even go to the same restaurant twice in a 2 week period, life is way too short for boring repetitive nonsense.

Anyone who disagrees with me is living a pitiable existence at the very base of the Maslow pyramid.

>>10622295
Ask yourself, do you want to sharpen as a hobby, or do you just want "sharp enough"

If you just want "sharp enough" you want a machine. Unfortunately even a basic functional machine isn't cheap. A Chef's® Choice® AngleSelect® 1520® (now with extra Trivox®) is going to be your entry level option.

If you want to sharpen as a hobby (basically the mindset is, sharpening is the end goal, who cares about food), then your basic entry level option is a range of benchstones, a flattening plate, a stone bridge, a strop, a loupe, and a sharpie.

Best option for a beginner would be:

Kuromaku 320
Kuromaku 1000
Green Brick of Joy
Naniwa "Snow White" Jyunpaku 8000
Atoma 140 (for lapping)
Kanayama "50" strop

If you need to cheap out, then the poorfag workaround would be, for now:

Kuromaku 320
Kuromaku 1000
Green Brick of Joy
CKTG No-Name 150 lapping plate

You don't really need the 8k until you get better at sharpening and you can use an old belt for stropping, although it is rather embarrassing of course

But TBHQ the kind of stuff people cook around here, the Trivox® option and a thrift store Sabatier Au Carbone would be fine. Please do not get memed by the ATK memesters who will try and trick you into wasting money on a Victorinox. They are overpriced shit.

>>10622378
>I have no idea how knives work but I'll post a bunch of opinionated drivel anyway
Kill yourself

>>10589265
This might be a good time to remember that you can't see the age of the person you're arguing with on 4chan and global rule #2 is completely unenforceable. If someone says something that could not possibly have been uttered by an adult, then it probably wasn't

Keep this in mind in the future and you will save yourself a lot of heartache

>>10478831
some autistic chef on Food Network complained about it and now all the normies think that complaining about it will make them sound like they're in "the industry"

>>10459706
I like how people who don't care about food think it's a surprise that you can mess with people's perceptions of taste based on other sense inputs like sight and sound

did nobody on /ck/ go to montessori school? I guess you're all a bunch of poor trailer trash

You're standing in line to be seen buying groceries at Whole Foods® by Amazon.com and this empowered young transperson comes up and places five non-organic, non-fair-trade avocados in your basket.

What do you do?

>>9778668
I don't understand people whose first reaction to something they don't like or understand is to think about physical brawls

How old were you when you first spent a night in jail, anon?

>go to the place with $8 croissants and $14 toast every morning before work
>one day the girl cashier gives me a free croissant, "the one I took looked small so here's another" *wink*
>instantly drop my artisanal bucatini everywhere
>make an awkward joke that comes out sounding like a veiled threat
>replay the scene in my head all day
>avoid the place for 3 weeks
>come back
>hey! where ya been we missed you!?
>mumble something about work sending me to europe again
>turn deathly pale and rush out with my croissant
Why can't they follow the script?

>>9436611
Is this your first day on /ck/? Starbucks is for unfathomably cool hipsters and Chipotle is pretentious, snobby, exclusive luxury dining where they serve cutting edge exotic new foods like "avocado" (sp?) and lime flavored rice.

>>9402662
Frozen yogurt, gourmet cupcakes, and the newfangled limes

>>9381631
>2016
>current year
Are you kidding me?