/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10396969

Had to leave university due to fucking up my kidneys. I lost weight, and I still looked and felt fat, even though my BMI was 17.1 - there was no full length mirror, so I had to rely on a webcam for "bodychecks".

The worst part is that I got decent grades up to this point, but I became ill due to my ED and self-harm. My immune system turned to shit, and I couldn't work at all. The only friends I made during this time turned out to be toxic (one had an ED - it wasn't even their fault) and I let it get to me instead of appreciating their kindness - I had to cut contact. I was a turd sandwich, so I drank more than I could handle at times. I blacked out once in the first year, and I felt like I fucked up my social image for good. I have yet to recover from that. The other blackouts occurred when drinking alone.

At least I quit smoking since I'm living in my mother's basement again.