/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16085693
>You like mawrgarine? It's one mowelcule away from pwastic. You like pwastic? I'll stick with my buttuh. I love buttuh. Gotta have buttuh.
*Licks lips*
>People in the comments say "you can't do that! You're supposed to use this for a bowognese sauce." The wecipe powice are watching.
*Eyes roll into the back of head*
>Mama Mia this Milanese sauce is so good you could wub it all ovuh youh body.
*Licks lips*
>You know what this juice coming out of the fwozen bewwies tastes like? Nothing. You'd think it was watuh if you tasted it. I like to repwace it... With booooze.
*Takes out an oversized whisk*
>I like to mawinate my waisins with Captain Mowgans spiced wum. You put these waisins in the kids breakfast cereal in the morning, they'll have a great day at school. Shh. Don't tell the wecipe powice I said that.
*Takes out an industrial blow torch*
>This bewwy coulis is so good it's like sex.
*Licks lips*
>Measure carefully huh? Measure carefully.
*Throws in a random amount of Parmigiano-Reggiano*