/ck/ - Food & Cooking

dare me to drive?

bloomin' onion

your domino's za will no longer be ruined

what's to stop me from going in and pretending to be homeless and getting a free Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow?

is it possible to get that nacho cheese at home

Rules: you must eat 3 whole jalapeños in under 5 minutes with no water and no throwing up.

I think the current record is something crazy like 1:55

why did they kill 3d doritos

I found a rare quad shredded wheat

Basically you just have to eat “wet” food. potato chips for example are bad for you but mashed potatoes are good for you even though they are essentially the same thing. also its best to eat meat as rare as possible because cooking dries it out. vegetables should be steamed or boiled instead of roasted because it keeps them wet. this concept applies to all food. you cannot prove me wrong. milk is really healthy because it is liquid food

is it safe to eat burned chips?

It is my firm belief that man can subsist on nothing more than chili and anger.

To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever live.

I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.

Ingredients:

1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover Jews)
2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender)
2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man)
4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul)
1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist)
1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now)
6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce
1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream)
2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an asshole)
2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste)
1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint)
1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)

Instructions:

Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat
Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes
Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two
Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper
Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10
Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore

And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.

Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I got pepsi with my crunchwrap supreme at tbell last night and refilled my cup with dr pepper before leaving

Did I do something wrong or is it expected you can mix and match if you want?

>>11114788
women live a life of memes

https://www.phillymag.com/articles/2018/08/11/mayonnaise-industry-millennials/

so why are you killing the most American of foodstuffs?

green peppers are too hot for me

post your slushie recipes

it's wouldn't go to waste

scavengers and bacteria eat roadkill

I found a rare quad shredded wheat in my cereal

I go to my local chinese food place about 2-3 times a week, I'm pretty good friends with the owner. Yesterday I went in for lunch and the owner was acting really weird and standoffish while usually we're on pretty good terms. I asked him what was wrong and eventually he told me to "leave and never come back". I pushed him a little more while I was waiting for my order because he seemed nervous or guilty and he told me that the Chinese mafia in the area have been putting the squeeze or w/e on local businesses and to intimidate them they left a cake outside the shop overnight. Inside the cake was a scroll with a list of all the store's most frequent customers' full names and addresses, and I was near the top of the list.

I am seriously freaking the fuck out right now and I have no idea what to even do or what my recourse is. I'm a non-violent person and I've never owned any guns but I'm really close to picking up a rifle at Wal-Mart and taking vacation time from work to lay low for a few weeks. Should I go to the police? What could they even do? I'm fucking terrified.

>>10824004
nooo
it cannot be

noooooooooo

the best deli products

papa johns is expensive because of obamacare