How do you feel in jfash?

[Anonymous No.9796104]

Do you ever feel timid when going out? Lolita and other more colorful styles are some of the most standout-ish outfits one can wear. Do any of you just hoard all your pieces, never to be worn outside?

[Anonymous No.9796109]

>>9796104
No the opposite, I feel more confident in Lolita then any other clothing. I sometimes feel a bit unsure leaving my house, but once I'm out in public I feel like I'd be able to punch out anyone who tries to start something.

[Anonymous No.9796121]

When I first started wearing lolita, I felt a little uncomfortable because of all of the added attention/stares. I spent most of my teenage years dressing in a way that flew under the radar, with lolita being my first real step outside of that.
After a while, I got over it, and it allowed me to be more confident in general.

Now I mostly feel uncomfortable wearing certain things in certain contexts. For example, if I'm already feeling stressed or anxious, I'm less likely to wear bright colors or a ton of poof/frills because the added attention stresses me out more. I also feel much more comfortable wearing alternative fashion of any kind in cities than I do in smaller towns.
Most of the time when I wear lolita I feel beautiful and powerful, though, as though nothing can penetrate my fortress of frills.

[Anonymous No.9796125]

>>9796104
I feel comfortable and pretty, but not in my own neighborhood. If I have to travel publicly, I don't mind; unless it is a bus I use daily for school. Even though most won't recognize me.

[Anonymous No.9796126]

>>9796104
I feel less like myself when I'm not wearing lolita

[Anonymous No.9796128]

>>9796125
Pretty much this.
Although I've never had a mean comment from anyone other than my family, I'm stressed about wearing it where people would know me.

[Anonymous No.9796142]

>>9796128
>>9796125
leading a double life sounds exciting

[Anonymous No.9796146]

>>9796142
I mean its depressing because I want to wear lolita all the time but feel as if I can't.
It's sad because it's been beat into my head "WHAT WOULD OTHER PEOPLE THINK!? ITS WEIRD! YOU'RE WEIRD! PEOPLE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOU!"
It's harder to shake that mentality when it's coming from your family, y'know?

[Anonymous No.9796148]

I love it so much, but at the same time it's so cumbersone. I really enjoyed wearing it in college because the same people saw me every day so answering questions about jfash was one-and-done, but now that I'm working and can only wear it out on the weekends, I get really weary of people's questions. Stares don't bother me, and I don't mind people's curiosity, but it's just so easy to go out in workout or casual wear because I know I'll be invisible.

I wish I could move somewhere more fashion forward where people won't ask you tons of questions if you're wearing anything nicer than jeans and a hoodie.

[Anonymous No.9796151]

>>9796146
How long have you been into lolita? Does your family need time to get used to you being into it, or are they just judgemental/care too much about strangers' opinions by nature?

[Anonymous No.9796152]

>>9796146
Literally every family is like that

[Anonymous No.9796163]

>>9796151
I've been solidly into i for 4 years.
They're extremely judgmental about everyone else and cares too much about what everyone else thinks of them.
If I sold all my video games, lolita, stopped cosplaying and going to cons, they'd be very happy.
Despite these are the things that make me the very happiest.
And it's not because I'm a neet and don't do anything. I have a full time job and a part time job, pay all my own bills, am building a nest egg for an apartment. (I live in a terrible state for renting anything. Worst city in america is 650 a month in rent. for a studio apartment).
And the only reason I haven't moved out yet is I got hit by really unlucky circumstances last year (car need a lot of repairs and then fully died on me for unrelated reasons me AFTER i paid for repairs. Which set me back about $6,000)

[Anonymous No.9796169]

>>9796151
Nayrt, but most of my family honestly know nothing about my hobbies. They never ask, and the only times I really see or interact with them are times when involving my hobbies would be inappropriate. They could probably give my general interests as art, studying/reading, and nature.

Half of my family is quite judgmental, but I don't really care about them. It's more that almost all of my family members are so ignorant of most things I enjoy, they don't even know they or the more general categories they belong to exist.

I feel like my friends are also weirdly compartmentalize. My best friend from childhood has no interest in Japanese culture aside from maybe sushi, and she knows pretty much nothing about lolita, even though I've worn a bit around her and even lived with her at times.
My normie friends were mostly drinking and chilling buddies who enjoyed fashion and art, they were a fair mix of thought it was cool/weird.

My academic friends were totally unaware of my less studious hobbies, my hoodrat friends not totally aware of my dweeby bs.

I've always wanted to have a group of friends who all enjoy many of the same things or can at least appreciate them, but it's something I really struggle with.

[Anonymous No.9796175]

>>9796148
Exactly! Fielding questions and comments all day is fucking tiresome. I don't have time for nosy ass people.
My "friend" made some snide comment about how I should appreciate the attention because she would love even half of it... b-b-but she could never wear something like that!
Unwanted attention is exactly that -- unwanted. I don't understand why people feel like they can go up and accost or interrogate me just because I'm wearing something they haven't seen or think is X/Y/Z.

[Anonymous No.9796179]

>>9796146
I feel this exactly anon. My family are pretty cool with it (always been the weird kid, now I'm just the weird kid who grew up and is still weird) but I lead a double life from my classmates and people at work

[Anonymous No.9796184]

>>9796163
$650 a month for a studio sounds nice, anon. In my college town you would be lucky to find a studio for less than $800. Cheapest options were rooms (or shared rooms) in large houses of 5-12 people.
Where I live now, it's pretty much impossible to find a place under $700, and a studio or small 1 bedroom will set you back at least $1k.
I try to be grateful by reminding myself that at least it's not LA or the Bay. I don't know how any lolitas live there without money from someone else or a great industry job.

[Anonymous No.9796187]

>>9796184
I mentioned $650 in the worst city in America.
I will not live in Camen, NJ. Pic related, Camden.
Anywhere decent is about double to triple that.

[Anonymous No.9796188]

>>9796187
Still looks better than Detroit, coming from someone who loves Detroit.

[Anonymous No.9796190]

>>9796188
Fair enough. How much is rent in detroit?
Google says $495 a month

[Anonymous No.9796191]

Wearing lolita sort of feels like wearing armour to me. No one would likely recognize me outside the frills so I can be just as confident as I want to be and really be myself and no one will know.

My parents are a lot like >>9796163.

[Anonymous No.9796196]

Some of you sound really insecure and dramatic. Do you know about every hobby of your colleagues? Do you know how they dress on days off? If people do talk about that at your job, do you just pretend to be into totally normie things? It's weird also how hard you're trying to please your family like you're still a child.

[Anonymous No.9796199]

>>9796190
If you want a decent apartment, not in a house, at least $6-700. You can get a nice room in an old, big ass house for about $500, but it comes with its risks, and obviously it's shared living.

[Anonymous No.9796220]

I was on the verge of quitting lolita for a while. My old workplace was super conservative and if anyone of my co-workers or other people I had to deal with at work would have spotted me dressed like this it would have been bad image for the company and myself and could have even cost my job in the end. I was employed through a temp agency, my contract would be renewed every 3 months (or not), I had to be super careful of anything I said or did if I wanted to keep my job and of course work at least 2 hrs unpaid overtime every day (even though that wasn't part of the contract, but my boss found her ways around it). The whole time I felt like shit because I only existed for the job and couldn't be myself and I never really had the time to wear lolita anyway even if I wanted to. I didn't wear any of my pieces for about 6 months because of all of this but then I found another job in a different city and things have gotten better since then. I still don't have much time to wear it anymore. If I find the time twice a month for lolita I count myself happy.

[Anonymous No.9796221]

>>9796196
It's weird how being emotionally abused will make people do that.
How dramatic of them, amirite?

[Anonymous No.9796223]

>>9796221
Yes it is dramatic and annoying

[Anonymous No.9796262]

>>9796223
> blaming victims of emotional abuse for being abused and calling them dramatic for being the way they are as a result of that treatment

Idk mate that's kinda disgusting but ok.

[Anonymous No.9796264]

>>9796262
>what is a shitpost
Come on anon don't take everything said here seriously.

[Anonymous No.9796267]

>>9796262
idk you're kind of disgusting and should seek treatment like a responsible adult instead of wallowing

[Anonymous No.9796272]

>>9796221
>normie family doesn't approve of weird stuff
>"emotional abuse"

[Anonymous No.9796276]

>>9796272
The sign of "emotional abuse" would be desperately seeking validation from your family/parents as an adult, not anon's family not approving of their silly fashion choices.
It's not necessarily relevant to anon's life but it's not a totally wild conclusion to make either.

[Anonymous No.9796280]

>>9796276
This was pretty much what I was going at.
When someone is emotionally abused they have that desperate need for approval and it's despairing when the things that make them most happy are the things that bring on the most scorn and ridicule from the person they're seeking approval from.
>If I sold all my video games, lolita, stopped cosplaying and going to cons, they'd be very happy.
>Despite these are the things that make me the very happiest.
It's a red flag that the family would be happy if anon would stop doing the things she loved to appease them.

[Anonymous No.9796287]

>>9796280
If you seriously think that's emotional abuse you're incredibly lucky and sheltered.

[Anonymous No.9796288]

>>9796287
Er, I just said it was a red flag, not an outright sign.
Also someone always has it worse or better off than someone else. That doesn't invalidate what someone else has gone through.

[Anonymous No.9796291]

I wear stuff like this on weekend. It stands out, but I guess it is still considered normie? I get quite a few compliments, and a few stares. I feel way more comfortable in this than in lolita. When I wear lolita, unless I am with a large group, I feel really subconscious.

[Anonymous No.9796294]

>>9796291
Looks like some form of natural kei. Not really normie, probably stands out less than lolita but normies would most likely not be able to tell this and lolita apart.

[Anonymous No.9796296]

>>9796294
This is going to sound weird, but the skirts for lolita seem short to me? That is why I prefer the other style more. I am 5'2, so I am not sure why.

I love seeing people wear lolita, but when it comes to myself, the silhouette makes me feel as if I stand out more. Probably because of all those "little bo-beep" comments I get from strangers.

[Anonymous No.9796299]

>>9796296
Lolita might not be for your to wear in that case, which is fine. You should wear what makes you feel pretty and comfortable, and if you're comfortable in natural kei or similar styles then that's perfectly fine.

[Anonymous No.9796308]

I'm the last couple of years my social anxiety has intensified
I have terrible hyperhidrosis now (sweat all day while I'm at uni), I get really light headed when I even have to walk somewhere on campus I've never been or have small talk with people I don't know.
It has become impossible for me to wear lolita. It is like a nightmare imagining people looking at me all day.

I bought my dream dress last year, but haven't worn it anywhere.

[Anonymous No.9796310]

>>9796308
Are you getting treated? Please look into it if you aren't yet, that sounds horrible and you shouldn't have to deal with it on your own.

[Anonymous No.9796318]

>>9796310
thanks anon. I have been planning to for a couple months
It is hard to make and appointment since I will have to talk to them over the phone, but I think I will try to set one up this week.
I really want to be able to wear lolita again

[Anonymous No.9796320]

>>9796318
Don't allow yourself to buy new things until you've made an appointment

[Anonymous No.9796323]

>>9796104
I love wearing lolita, and when I do I usually feel extremely confident and happy with my outfit choices.

However there are some days when I put on a JSK, look at myself in the mirror and then immediately take it off. I can't put my finger on exactly what I'm feeling, but discomfort is the best I can come up with. I don't know why either.

[Anonymous No.9796326]

As a kid, going clothes shopping ws my most dreaded activity. Or even worse, shoe shopping. Then i found the book FRRUiTS and thats when i realized that fashion can be a way of expressing yourself. I have always worn alternative styles as a teenager so now when i am 25+ i have gotten used to people staring at me. But i have noticed, when i was a teenager i got more negative attention, now i get more positive, when i wear lolita. Perhaps it has to do with me learning how to actually coord ok, loosing weight and gaining better confidence in general.
Now when i go out in lolita, i feel invincible. I feel as if i could do anything, wether it was going to lecture at university or hanging out in the suburbs with my friends. i feel a lot more like me, and not as if i pretend to be someone else, as i would if i had dressed like people in university/suburbs generally do. its like i am creating my own universe, where i am the queen, i feel powerful.

i also feel as if i am treated with more respect because of this, that i choose to be different, it is brave after all to put on these clothes in a society that views femininity as weakness. i wear my weakness and i am not afraid.
speaking of femininity, i think this fashion allows me to dress for myself and not for the male gaze. i feel like i dress in a universe of girls, for girls. (of course men can be lolitas too yada yada but when i say girls i mean more the concept of girliness).
i hope im not coming off super weird, but thats how i feel.

[Anonymous No.9796333]

>>9796320
that good advice anon, I hadn't thought of that, will do.
thanks

[Anonymous No.9796338]

>>9796169
You have the most normie friends and family ever.
My condolences

[Anonymous No.9796339]

I worry about other lolitas and people in jfashion, they seem a lot more harsher. I wear mostly sweet lolita and fairy kei, rarely anyone gives me issues. Most people say I look cute and love what I am wearing. I get a bit more negative comments if I wear goth/punk clothing.

I'm not pretty, not stick thin and I don't have that ideal babyface for cute styles. This is why I say I worry about other people in jfashion, I don't post photos online or go to meetups. I'm more comfortable dressing up and being around regular people.

[Anonymous No.9796341]

>>9796308
I'm sorry anon I can relate to the anxiety (as most people on this board probably can lol). I hope at the very least you can wear your dress around the house? Sounds silly but if I get dressed up just to even relax around the house it feels nice (and somewhat productive lmao)

[Anonymous No.9796342]

>>9796163
I live in socal and studios are at least 1000. Even a room to rent is is at least 600, and that's with a shared bathroom...

[Anonymous No.9796346]

>>9796262
Your family thinking Lolita is weird isn't emotional abuse. Grow up

[Anonymous No.9796405]

I wear fairly casual lolita for the most part, and save my more elaborate pieces for conventions and parties. I like the feeling I get when I look at myself in the mirror. I’m fairly ugly and kind of chubby but wearing lolita helps with my self-esteem. I’m also very shy but it’s worth the stares and occasional rude comment to feel pretty.

I will cut a bitch if anyone tries to start shit with me though. I get cat-called a lot when I wear lolita so I tell them to suck my dick or fuck off. When creeps approach me I get in their face and snarl. Yeah, it’s dangerous, but every dumbass I ever dealt with was supremely intimidated by the ugly girl in cutesy fashion yelling obscenities and looking pissed.

[Anonymous No.9796426]

I used to be uncomfortable wearing even simple coordinates, but now I wear full poof almost everywhere. I usually get compliments, and have learned it's pretty simple to ignore any stink eye from other people. I also don't usually get into the full details of my style, unless someone seems sincerely interested in learning more about it. Most people are content with me telling them I get my clothes from Japan or secondhand on auction sites.

[Anonymous No.9796513]

i feel more comfortable when i wear lolita, i mostly wear casual everyday, i left lolita for a year and a half because of my ex, that's one of the reasons i broke up with him, i started to feel i wasn't myself anymore, now i'm happier and my confidence went up again

[Anonymous No.9796570]

>>9796109
I feel the same way anon

[Anonymous No.9796588]

I love lolita and love wearing it, but as I’ve gotten older it has become physically painful for me to wear. Even a few hours meetup I must spend the next day recovering from how sore I get

[Anonymous No.9796594]

>>9796588
Is it your feet that are hurting? I'd suggest shoe inserts or going with some more practical footwear overall if you're intending on walking lots or being out for a long time. It's honestly also just part of getting older desu, if you're out all day walking you'll likely be a bit sore the next day.

[Anonymous No.9796599]

I wear sweet lolita, not ott or anything but I wear a lot of accessories, it makes me feel x1000 more confident than normal clothes, I actually feel cute when I wear it and I usually only get compliments.

[Anonymous No.9796616]

>>9796163
Be great full you don't live in Cali. That apartment would be 1k here.

[Anonymous No.9796621]

>>9796220
Sorry for being Snoopy. But what kind of job do you have that takes interest in their employees personal lives? I haven't really seen anything like that.

[Anonymous No.9796630]

>>9796104
I sometimes have bad days when I feel timid or unsure but mostly I feel comfortable and happy and I try to carry myself confidently.

My everyday wear is at least a bit jfash or edgy, so I've gotten used to stares. I actually used to have bad anxiety feeling like everyone was staring at me all the time, but I've gotten over it by telling myself that because I'm dressed weird people might want to stare. Now I rarely feel anxious anymore and I often forget myself when I'm having a good time with friends.

[Anonymous No.9796667]

>>9796326
I feel this entire post.

>>9796346
At least try reading the thread you're replying to.

[Anonymous No.9796756]

>>9796594
Shoulders, neck, and back mostly. Although sometimes I get a “rug burn” like feeling on the bottom of my feet when wearing tights

[Anonymous No.9796773]

>>9796109
Me too!

[Anonymous No.9796790]

I feel the same in lolita as in normie clothes. I live in a big city with a high tolerance for weirdness and in my line of work, you're almost expected to be a little odd. My coworkers know I collect "frilly Japanese dresses", but that's about it. I don't think they'd care if they saw me in lolita, though. One of them saw me in larme and she didn't comment on my outfit at all. As for others, I've been pretty ruthless about cutting petty and judgmental friends out of my life, which has been great for my mental health. Even my normie clothes tend to be pink, frilly, and/or sparkly, and it's been that way for so long that everyone knows that's just how I am. It's a pretty good feeling, in lolita and out.

[Anonymous No.9796868]

>>9796339
Online communities are harsher. Most lolitas are like you and don't post their pictures everywhere.

[Anonymous No.9796870]

>>9796756
I suggest wearing skirts with a cutsew, or a camisole+cardigan. There are fully shirred cutsews too. Sack dresses are also very comfy.

[Anonymous No.9796884]

>>9796148
Same about wearing lolita at college. A lot of people wore alternative clothing there and while I still looked different, it was understandable in general. I keep wearing it tho. I don't like normie style in general and lolita is the only thing that makes me look interesting enough without unnatural colored hair or tats. It totally gives me some confidence boost, but as long as normies don't interact with me. I just don't expect them to treat me seriously in it, I don't like explaining about fashion to them, so when they ask about my clothes I feel embarassed and try to change the topic to something else. Well, it goes for the rest of my hobbies too. I still remember when coleague of mine asked about the origin of my online nickname. There is no anything weird about, but I still felt too awkward. I sit in all female room at my office and they constantly make fun of other guys from office doing yoga or wearing weird stuff. I'm still going to wear something super toned down to office for some special occasions like my bd celebration, but I feel a bit pre-harrassed desu.

[Anonymous No.9796937]

>>9796756
Are you wearing wigs? There's no reason lolita should make neck/your shoulders/back hurt/sore any more than other dresses, unless you're piling shit on your head.

[Anonymous No.9796942]

>>9796937
The part about tights makes me think anon might just be very sensitive?