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Everyone approaches the style in a slightly different way, but do you feel like you're missing something that everyone else makes look good? Do your coords feel incomplete no matter what you do? Do you always feel like you're the odd one out in meetup photos? Did you come from genuinely having shit normie taste and still having trouble learning what looks good?Post it all here, break it down. If you feel you've overcome anything like that, help out a salty gull in need.
I'll start, I'm shit with accessories. I really am. I have a reasonable collection of them but I feel like they never look right. I don't ever end up buying enough legwear to match everything I own properly because I impulse buy cute shit without thinking about how it'll fit my wardrobe (which is all over the place with about 3 or 4 different styles).I'm considering doing a clearout of everything I don't wear regularly in my accessory drawers and starting nearly from scratch.
>>9564765Genuinely shit normie taste here.I can't style my hair for shit unless I wear a hat or a wig.
>>9564765Even though I have a sizable wardrobe I have obvious favorite main pieces that I wear a lot and sometimes I feel like people who haven't seen my wardrobe posts believe I only have ~10 dresses after 7 years of being a Lolita.
I have a goofy smile. A face not cute enough. I feel too tall for some AP and that my skin is too dark.
>>9564765>bad at makeup>can't style hair without looking like a child did it>can't wear elegant/cute heels because of my fucked ankles>still missing the mark with accessories 6 years laterI'm improving slowly with eye makeup, but I'm piss awful at blush and eyebrows. I feel like emulating and taking inspiration from other people's coords (thank you instagram) helps me a ton, but I'd like to be able to just put together a complex coord independently and not look that little bit off.
I feel like someday everyone's gonna notice the sleeves on my OPs are slightly short for me because I'm Mr. Fantastic.
>>9564768My hair isn't bad or messy, I actually like it, but I can't style it at all and I feel like wearing it the same all the time gets super boring for coord photos.
>>9564765I hate wearing stuff on my wrists so every coord I submit for concrit gets a "you need to put something on your wrists"
>>9564780Wear long sleeved blouses/OPs? Or does that bother you as well?
>>9564774Honestly you'd be amazed at what just brushing your eyebrows with a spoolie can do. Just start with that. Brush em with a little mascara spoolie you stole from the MAC counter (that's what I do, hey, I buy their other shit) and leave em, maybe set them with clear gel. Don't worry about them being sparse or light or bushy for right now. Less is more, and that's fine. It's better to leave them be than go full instagram and look like you have two giant bricks. I swear natural brows tend to be way more invisible and neutral than people think, and I think thats how brows should be--if you don't notice them, as in they don't stand out, they're done right.Blush is really fun when you learn more about it because where you put it on the face can make a difference. This vid kinda shows it: https://youtu.be/xPohsaRL4II . It can be kinda overwhelming at first, but I think it actually becomes easier when you learn all the different ways to do it, because then you can decide what is better for you. But keep it up! Practice is really the best way, of course. The fact you're striving to improve is more that can be said for a lot of people.
>>9564785Anon you are an angel, thank you! I usually get lazy and do that high ibuki (sp?) blush but it really, really doesn't work with everything so I'm going to start practicing. Thanks for the video, it's really helpful!
I'm part of a minority group that gets asspatted so unless it's on /cgl/ I'm never sure if people complimenting, or not criticizing me, actually mean it or if they're only doing it for social justice points. I try extra hard to make sure everything fits and looks good, but I'm never sure if I actually look good in lolita.
>>9564787Have fun with it! It's really fun to try different placements and see how it can change the look's mood, when I first practiced it I got a lot of enjoyment out of it.
>>9564765I see cute clothes, doesnt matter skirts or jsk or op, i love them, i buy them, aaaand my love for them disappears. So i buy more. And it happens again. I get compliments yet i dont like how they look on me. Does nothing make me happy anymore? Will i ever be satisfied?
>>9564780Do you aslo have sensitive wrists? I can't handle too tight stuff on my wrists because it feels really uncomfortable and sometimes it's even painful, so even buttoned sleeves are an issue for me.
I keep ending up at meets far away from my house (long travel time) and often outdoors; so I have a habit of not doing much with my hair because I'll need to wear a sun hat for half the meet. I always pack a brand headbow to throw on once we're inside, but I don't have the motor coordination to really mess with my hair on the go. Whenever I get pictures back I always feel bad about my hair; how it's never as involved as my coord. But I don't feel like I'm lazy, I try but I can't find a way around this.>>9564794This is going to sound weird, but hearing you say that makes me feel better. I got in trouble for giving advice to someone because the ita I was trying to help was not the same skin color as me. The person I was helping was not offended at all, but it was everyone who heard that I had said something.
Oooooh boy, I have a couple of insecurities when it comes to lolita, despite being my favorite hobby:Im a chubby lolita, and bigger than the girls in my comm. I'm not a full on fatty chan but I feel like my arms and bust make me look really big in lolita. I'm losing weight though so I hope that, especially my arm fat, disappears soon. I love my pink hair, but it doesn't work in lolita. I have to find certain ways to do it, or wear a wig, but it brings stress to me when I want to wear casual looks and skip a wig (I only own one wig btw so I definitely need to buy more). My height is perfect for AP stuff considering I'm only 4'11", but long dresses make me look stumpy. I also feel like knee socks make me look like that and flat tea parties, which suck because I love them both. I still wear them but the insecurity is there. One last one is acne and my skin complexion. Acne cause my skin is oily and I tend to get a lot of pimples and blackheads, which makes me super self conscious, even out of lolita. My skin complexion because it's pretty dark and I feel like most people think that dark skinned girls can't pull off lolita, so it makes me feel like less than lolitas who are Caucasian or Asian. I know that most Lolitas aren't like this but sometimes I get those vibes.I have a few more but these are the main ones for me, which are unfortunately a lot already.
>face not kawaii unless carefully angled so I look like a totally different person in group pics vs. selfies>thicccc thighs that look gross when skirts more than a few cm above the knee, yet I love the look of white tights>thin dry hair that always looks frizzy and is difficult to style, especially for a hairstyling noob like me>keep neglecting to buy accessories so my wrists and neck are usually baremost embarrassing behavior>>9564785I'm interested in applying makeup in a way to make my face seem shorter and rounder but I don't understand Korean and honestly can't tell any real difference between any of these looks. Can a kind anon help me out?
I keep buying main pieces, but I'm not buying accesories, wigs, shoes, blouses, etc., which means I have barely anything to work with and I can't make many coordinates that don't look repetitive. I want to wear lolita more often, but I'm scared of reactions, especially from people I know. I would love to start wearing lolita to college but in scared of the reactions (despite people being pretty open minded in my university). There's a lot of people from my high school there since my high school is close and they already thought I was weird back then, wouldn't like for them to become a nuisance in my life again, along with other people. My ex also goes to the same uni and he talks shit about me so there's that too.
I can't for the love of god find an angle for my face that doesn't make my eyes dark or make me look angry. I feel like I have a resting bitch face in photos or something, though I like my face in the mirror. at least spontanious pictures by others make me look cute.>>9564777I feel the same. I like my hair too and I love how long it is, but I don't know how to style it otherwise from just ponytails. and on top of that my hair's too heavy and long for curls. and wigs give me a headache.
>>9564765I can't smile naturally, in any photos it looks like the camera man is holding me at gunpoint. I'm also terrible at socialising and feel like I somehow make lolita look bad when strangers ask me questions and I stutter and can't make eye contact. I feel like I creep people out at meets because I can't make eye contact and talk like everyone else can.
>>9564817Yeah sure, I'm anon who posted the video, the basic idea is that different placements of blush will emphasize different things and add different feelings to the look. Here is another similar video in English: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6FNsNF-UtAYou probably would want to try the apples of the cheeks, as it will emphasize the youthfulness and roundness of the cheek, where as blush applied more to the side of the face tends to bring out angles more. That would also be the first example she does in the Korean video, and the second one and fifth one she does might work well for you too. (I don't speak Korean either, I just mostly use it as a visual reference video). In that video the third and fourth examples where it's more on the side of the face would be ones you'd want to avoid. If you have deep smile lines I would also avoid the fifth one, just because it may emphasize those, and with the second one if you have deep/hollow undereyes it may not be the most suitable either. (I have them myself lol.) Number one is fairly universal.Also here is a quick side by side of where she put it and what it ended up looking like, they're not drastically different, and they all could work for what you want depending on your face. I also threw in the Marie Claire one as well. I hope maybe that helps a bit? You can also add in some contouring perhaps to the jaw, but first I'd start with the blush if you're not used to doing things like this and take small steps.
>>9564846Thank you so much anon! I've tried looking this stuff up before, but most English-language makeup guides assume that we all want to look angular with strong bone structure so the advice I get is often the opposite of what I want to achieve, which is a softer, rounder look. I do have a contouring stick that I'd like to use to soften my jaw but I still need a lot of practice with that so I don't end up looking like I have neckbeard lol
>>9564815>I'm not a full on fatty chan
I would say I don't really like it when other Lolita want to take selfies with me because I don't like makeup and I usually don't bother to wear it unless it's a really major meet up. I know it's just for them to enjoy, but they often post them around online and I don't like seeing my face in the first place let alone without "editing".I also don't give a fuck if my skirt is too short, but I'm very aware that other people do so it makes me very self-aware.
>>9564769Oh man I feel this. Doesn't help that I don't post most of my coords online. Found out lately that someone in my old comm thought I was a meetlita who rotated the same dozen dresses, when I'm actually pushing 60 and wear the fashion on a regular basis. I need to stop repeating dresses to meets but I always get tempted by favourites I don't have a chance to wear everyday.>>9564815>>9564773I wanna give you anons a hug, I think dark-skinned lolitas look cute.>>9564780Maybe start posting for coord photos with your hands clasped behind your back or something so your wrists aren't visible.>>9564859>I've tried looking this stuff up before, but most English-language makeup guides assume that we all want to look angular with strong bone structure so the advice I get is often the opposite of what I want to achieve, which is a softer, rounder look.I have this problem too, there's the same issue with guides to dressing for your body type since they're usually aimed at making you look tall and busty. I liked the video Wayne Goss did with a lot of different blush placements, and I think Lisa Elridge also has something similar with explanations of which were popular in which era.
>>9564765I am ugly and it's holding my coords back. I wear things very similar to more popular lolitas and take good coord shots but get a lot fewer likes. The only time my photos get a lot of likes is when I use trick lighting and angles. It's frustrating because I've tried to learn to use makeup to look better and you can't have a full on cute look when you aren't cute
>>9564946put a sticker over your face.
>>9564946>>9564961Nayrt but I don't use social media or post cords, I need an irl sticker
>>9564964wear a face mask? JP lolitas do it all the time. Ain't hard to hide your uggo in an OTT style like lolita.
>too tall for everything>shitty skin texture>hair is flat>no hairstyling skills, minimal makeup skillsafter around 18 or 19, i lost a lot of baby fat off my face and now i don't know my angles anymore. i tend to look pretty harsh and a bit older because my cheeks are so cut and hollow. cool look for high fashion and androgyny, not so much an elegant and beautiful feminine fashion like lolita.
>Fine hair but there's too much of it so it frizzes super easily and is hard to style>can't figure out flat irons, too broke to buy a curling iron>Puffy eye bags that I hate with my entire being because they make bjōjaku blush impossible >Don't know how to eye makeup properly>30cm shoulder span :(>Yellow teeth that don't want to whiten (most people don't notice, but I still do)A-at least my bangs are cute...
>>9564983For your teeth anon, don't worry too much. American beauty standards have people damaging their teeth with teeth bleaching products when it's entirely unnecessary. Some people are genetically disposed to yellower teeth and others teeth get that way through coffee or eating foods like rich berries that will stain them, it's not always a sign of damage like smoking or poor oral hygiene. Unless your teeth are rotting out of your mouth you shouldn't worry about it.
I just want to look and feel cute in lolita, but I got a face better for visual kei and Moitie type gothic lolita. It's great because I love those and I legitimately like gothic lolita the most, but sometimes I just want to wear sweeter designs.
>>9564975I think I know who you are maybe/follow you? and honestly don't worry about it, you look divine in everything you wear(and even if you're not who I think you are, you probably still do, I'm a sucker for andro girls)
>>9564765Still cant get contact lenses in my eyes. I have come to terms with it just not being for me but sometimes I get sad because they do take cuteness to the next level for a lot of people.
I've put on weight in the last year or so, so I always worry about fit at the moment, especially with IW. I got coord pics I really liked of one JSK, but couldn't post to COF because it looked a tiny bit boob-loafy to me and there was a little bit of distortion at the waist where my stomach is no longer completely flat.Also my hair, it's fine and doesn't hold style well. Plus I can't do anything with it for love or money, but wigs are a complete unknown to me. I own 1 wig but it has sat unworn for 2 years + now because I don't know how to put it on or trim the bangs.I've been a lolita for over 3 years now and I'm still too scared to order from taobao with a shopping service. I only ordered direct from a brand for the 1st time this year.I also always feel that my coords are a bit... basic I guess. I have quite a few brand main pieces but almost all my blouses and accessories are off brand and it's holding me back. Trying to find blouses that fit in the right cuts and colours is a trial though. I've been looking everywhere for a lavender blouse that is suitable for summer but not too OTT for over a year now. Maybe if taobao didn't scare me...
>>9564987Really? That explains so much... I wish the US wasn't obsessed with the perfect, blinding smile, though. That standard has put me through a lot of stress. :P
>>9564975Do you like military lolita? You would probably look amazing in it.
>>95650371/3 american adults have some sort of gum disease because they're more worried about bleaching the fuck out of their teeth than the health of their mouth. Don't worry if your teeth aren't the color of an albinos asshole.
I can usually freestyle cute hair but up until the moment I'm doing it I have no idea what I'm going to do and it's stressful and sometimes leads to bad results.Im scared shitless of false eyelashes.I always pose for pics with my glasses off so I end up making confused constipated squinty faces.
>>9564817>face not kawaii enoughI feel this insecurity at the bottom of my feels. I'm always self-conscious because I have a very chiseled, angular jaw and while I never have to worry about a double chin I'm always worried that I look mannish/my chin is too long. I'm also always worried my eyes aren't large enough, despite them being relatively rounded any attempt to make them look larger always leaves me some sort of awkward raccoon-eyed.I'm also tall and busty, so >>9564859is the struggle.That being said, I am so bad at tying my hair in/figuring out matching leg wear without completely throwing the balance. I wish there were more subdued, delicate leg wear was out there.I also am just whining without doing anything with my hair since I have thick healthy hair...that's dark brown. It'd work with gothic, but I prefer classic.
>>9564983>American hereIf it helps at all, for every compliment on a disney white smile is another person who thinks we have veneers or dentures. Also, I wish I had a 30cm span, I'm 40 abloobloo>is secretly a monster who only wears the releases that drown other girls
>>9565035Your problems are pretty fixable anon. There are lots of tutorials on how to wear wigs, and how to cut the bangs. Putting the wig on is pretty simple, but if you aren't confident in cutting the bangs you can ask a hairdresser to do it instead. For taobao, google chrome is your friend. The taobao thread also has a spreadsheet with key words and stores, and anything else you can just google translate for the word you need. Just approach taobao like Chinese ebay, the sellers have ratings and there are feedback systems to help you out.
>>9565077I feel you, anon. I have a really long diamond face, prominent chin, and an angular jaw. But I only wear gothic, so it doesn't look as jarring. I've given up on trying to look kawaii and delicate.
>>9564961I feel like people will know and it detracts from the coord just as much as my face if not more
I lack a lot of decent accessories and I am shit at color coordinating. I put together a simple coordinate once and it got cross posted here with people pointing out how my reds didn't match and that I was an idiot.I-i really thought they did match....Also I no longer have a youthful face, I worry that now that I am in my 20s and I prefer sweet and I feel like I need to look like a living doll uguu to be cute in the style.And I am kinda chubby.
>has a nice face and figure for Lolita> becoming immensely better at color coording and accessory making>is shit at taking selfies and photosWoe is me, a millennial who has no idea what lighting is
>>9565077 Confused, dark brown is great for classic too?
>>9565258>chubby>doesn't have a youthful face from the chubbinessmy condolences on your shitty genetics, must suck not to get the one perk possible from being chubby.
My face hasn't hardly changed since elementary school, my voice is high pitched, and a lot of my interests/mannerisms are rather childlike.Sometimes I worry people think I'm actually a child when I go out in Lolita. Even worse, I'm scared that my comm will think I'm an ageplayer if I started acting more like myself. I don't think any reasonable person is going to look at the fact that I enjoy kid's shows and assume that I also have a fetish for wearing diapers and calling my boyfriend 'daddy', but the idea that someone might makes me really insecure at times. I don't really wear sweet all that often and that's part of why.
>One slightly crooked tooth drives me insane in pictures >Not fat, but not tiny Asian thin >Always feeling less successful and creative than other comm members It's the little things that get you down
I'm Asian but I feel like I don't really live up to the standards. Girls in my comm always talk about how cute Asians are, and I always see these adorable Asian girls on COF and Amino. I have a long manly face, and feel like I'm not good enough sometimes. I don't post photos because of that, and at meets I'm always insecure.
>>9565289That sucks anon. Weebs/ westerners in general tend to have a shitty understanding that Asian model =\= Asian and a girl can be cute without twelve plastic surgeries ( nothing against those who DO get them, but come on...)I'm a halfu
>>9565289>>9565300people have really weird beauty expectations for asians. and when we do meet their "model standards" we get shat on for looking unnatural..
I'm a very boring and introverted person, so I NEVER feel comfortable going to a meet. I've never been part of a comm or known other lolitas because I'm just so damn intimidated.Plus, I've been into the fashion for 9 years, but I'm such a poorfag that I don't even have 10 dresses. P a t h e t i cI AM lucky enough that I'm not really insecure about my physical appearance, though. Seems to be rare.
>>9565303>>9565300>>9565289Sorry but for every cute Asian I see on COF there's 10 not so cute. People who think all Asians are going to be automatically like a Japanese model are idiots. Haven't used amino in ages, but never saw a cute Asian on there either. Put a sticker on your face if you'd like to post, but in actuality nobody cares if you don't look like Risa even though you're ~Asian~
I consistently get posted to the ita thread despite trying my best
I used to play a lot of sport years ago, but the only muscles that didn't shrink are my arms. Everything I wear looks like a size 10 sausage in a size 4 casing....
>>9565289>>9565307These girls kept raving about how perfect and amazing ALL Asian Lolita's were, so I asked them to show me a stunning Asian lolita that wasn't a model. They couldn't do it and called me racist.
>>9565282I feel the same anon, you are not alone
>>9565310consistently? have you used the coord help thread anon
>>9565330some people have shit taste
The circumference of my head is quite large (sorry mum), so I can't wear some wigs... and I'm deathly afraid of my wigs slipping because not only do I have a big head, but I have thick hair. I also have broad shoulders and a wide ribcage.. rectangular body shape. It makes me feel less dainty in lolita, so I try to compensate with more poof. But then my poof never looks impressive enough in pictures...maybe I should try big hair
>>9564983>tfw otherwise small frame but 40cm shoulder spanLet's trade
>>9565327Really? I'm glad to know that, anon. It's been getting me down a lot lately and I almost didn't post about it because I know how /cgl/ can flip its shit if ageplay is even mentioned. But now I'm glad I did 'cause at least I'm not alone. Thanks.
>>9564768Same. My hair's thin because of meds I'm on, and doesn't hold style without gallons of hairspray, so I just chopped it all off and go for wigs.
>>9564968/nayrt/ do you mean surgical masks? or something carnevalish? both?
>>9565389The mouth-covering surgical masks.
>>9565310Do you have any friends that could help you with putting together a proper coord?
>>9565077I have dark brown hair too and it's really not that great for gothic at all. Usually my black hair accessories just drown into my hair. I don't like wearing wigs much at all, but I still make sure I have one blonde wig on hand in case I want to draw attention to my headdress. Imo, blonde looks cutest with dark coords, and dark hair (not completely black though) looks cutest with lighter coords.
>>9565452ok thanks for clarifying.
>>9564968Not a bad idea, to be honest
>>9564769fuck I feel this. I have 30 dresses and a main favorite I used to wear all the time.got an anon on tumblr that told me I'm a wanna be lolita who should beg for money to expand my good wardrobe. wasn't a good day
>>9564840Are you me anon?>>9564983Are you me too? Dont even bother with the curling iron, i bought one and it doesnt work on my also fine hair. I gave up and bought a wig. I fix my puffy eyes with a fullish coverage liquid concealer and it makes a ton of difference. For the eye make up all you need is practice and you could even start copying easy tutorials, the easier ones are the korean or chinese in my opinion. Best of luck anon.
Insecure about my shoes, accessories, legwear, and blouses. I have a lot of the latter three, but I just don't feel it is enough. Shoes are hard for me because I'm more comfortable in a size 41, and it is hard for me to commit to the purchase because I still need so many other colors. Rather just threw on my gold shoes, which despite what cgl says it looks good because my favorite purse is gold, and gold is also neutral. I want more short sleeve blouses and a wider variety of legwear. I don't want to have to think when I'm trying to get dressed and out the door in under 30 minutes. I just can't seem to be bold enough with my accessories. Other Lolita are just so eccentric in the right way that it works and looks too cute. I feel like I'm much too simple and not street fashiony enough.
>>9564774Are you me, anon?
Im a 5'11 sweet lolita. Everything is so short and underskirts look stupid on me. How do my fellow trees distract from the fact our skirts are well above our knees?
>>9565647Long bloomers, I'm into Oldschool tho so the peeking works for me.
>I'm leaning in to having a large wardrobe, have tons of hair accessories, blouses, main pieces, but only like 3 pairs of black shoes and 2 pair of brown shoes that don't match with everything.>Color balancing is hit or miss, but I really try>I don't feel like i'm pretty? enough in lolita to wear it on the regular and pull it off.>I'm wasting hundreds on a wardrobe I maybe wear 1/mo and refuse to sell much of anything>I finally have a cohesive af oldschool and classic wardrobe, but all I want is sweet prints and cuts that won't fit at all.
My bf is the same height as me (5'2) and I think my com makes fun of him when I'm not around
>>9565708y r u dating a leprechaun?
>>9565711w h a t i s l o v e
>>9564983>>9565094>>9565357I dunno if it helps (or if you're even insecure about it at all) but broad shoulders on cute girls look amaaaaazing. Seriously so fuckin' kawaii. I (girl) have broad shoulders and, even though it makes fitting clothes a pain, I like them because I know that it means I have more potential to be stronger than someone with a smaller shoulder span. It's a good frame for fitness and martial arts, and I love having the power that comes with strength.Apart from the fitness side of it, broad shoulders are often seen in high-fashion models. It's an enviable trait. The drape of cloth over a large canvas looks super pretty. I know it's cheesy, but feel pretty, my broad shouldered fellow gulls. Your broad shoulders are awesome.
>>9565720I really don't agree. I have 40cm shoulders and I think it looks so ugly and masculine, the complete opposite of "kawaii". If I had narrower shoulders I could fit cute blouses and OPs and wear halter tops without looking like a transwoman, but I can't. I dgaf about being strong and don't want to look like an androgynous high fashion model, I want to be feminine and cute.
I'd be so pretty if I got a nose job. The rest of my face is nice, but my nose is just god awful. I want to start saving for a rhinoplasty but that will take a long time and I want it right now while I'm young so I could look like my ideal self in lolita.I love wearing sweet, but there is little I can do about my goddamn beak in the short term.
I am a "poorfag" and I can't get myself to to buy an opulent dress or a really popular print. I have a 30+ main pieces wardrobe of pretty but simple brand dresses which I enjoy wearing to regular meetups or for no reason, but when it comes to big tea-parties I feel I dress like a peasant. Well, technically I can save and buy something expensive that will be sitting in my closet most of the time, but I feel like I will get more fun out of my money if I buy several simple dresses like IW.
>>9565708>tfw dating a 5'4 guyI guess never is always a good time to join a comm.
>>9565289That sounds like photoshop/meitu like usual>>9565320
>>9565352I got this from the lolita guide. Hope it helps anon.
>>9565823 Don't let it get you down. Half of the girls in my comm are single and dream of finding a pretty boy kpop ouji type, or a older sugar daddy yet I doubt they've even had a serious relationship.It bothers me more than it does my bf. He's been dealing with this his entire life and it just doesn't phase him anymore. They've only met him once and it was pretty brief. I think if they got to know him more, they'd understand why I like him.
sometimes i genuinely cannot tell if a coordinate of mine is ita or not. i know when i do dress well, but there are a few times when i question myself. everything is burando and i balance my colors but i still don't feel confident. yet a lot of the coords i thought might be borderline ita have been my most popular.i guess i just nitpick the hell out of myself
My hair is so frizzy. I've tried all of the advice I've found online. I've never used heat on it or dyed it. I use shampoo for dry hair, finger comb and have a silk wrap for night time. Hair oil sort of helps.Even if I spend ages styling it, after a little while it always ends up looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.I do use wigs, but I don't want to wear them all the time. It would just be nice if my own hair didn't bring my whole coord down.
I want to be thinner. I'm not fat by any means, but I just bought an Angelic Pretty OP and my arms were too big for the arm-holes and I busted a button. Made me feel like a fat fuck.
>>9565958>i'm not fat by any means>can't fit into AP>literally busts buttons off items>i m n o t f a t b y a n y m e a n sR u sure
>>9565823My boyfriend is 5'4 and I'm 5'10, yet I'm the one dressing like a munchkin. Also it's not really an issue if you don't mention it conversation and your comm doesn't see him in person
>>9565958>I'm not fat>destroys clothes trying to put them on
>>9565267I carry my weight terribly, I'm only 120 but I am short as fuck and carry my weight in my upper arms and legs. When I was bigger my face was rounder, and I fucking hated it, but now it has thinned out and I am freaking out about aging.>tfw i will never be a thin petit living doll with a round cute faceI also have a deep voice that is ugly and nasally.
>>9566005>tfw thin and petite with a round face that a lot consider cute but i still wanna kill myselfit doesn't get any better
>>9565282>I look so young! I'm afraid people will mistake me for a literal child and think I'm skipping school ;_; someone once offered to read something to me, they must have thought I was in kindergarten!!! It's so annoying being this kawaii ;_; uguu
>>9565828nayrt, but why are pleats not good for hourglass-shaped girls according to this guide?
>>9566012I would hate myself either way, I could atleast be pretty so people online don't hate me
I feel like all my coords are SUPER boring or basic... I have a shite job so I can't often buy stuff from taobao or on LMI rely on my relatives going to china and back to bring me back stuff, too- this only happens every several months. Because of this, I feel like I shouldn't go to meets wearing the same coord so I can't be as active as I'd like to be in my commNot to mention my taste is super bland (solid blacks and crosses), so that makes coording well hard
I have a big wardrobe.I put together generally great coords.I have a lot of friends and acquaintances in the fashion. Buddy buddy with a lot of people.A lot of lolitas in my comm and elsewhere look up to me.But I was blessed by hitting every ugly stick all the way down the fugly tree.Oh well. Can't win them all.
>>9565615My hair holds a curl decently, I just can't figure out how to curl it with a flat iron, and the way I sleep makes curlers impossible. :P I'll definitely try out some tutorials soon, thanks for the suggestion!
>>9564983>>9564987To go off what second anon said, teeth are supposed to have a yellow tint naturally! I've never whitened my teeth but my smile is still the first thing people compliment me about. So even if you don't whiten, as long as you take care of your teeth you can still dazzle everyone!As for makeup, it's all about practice and learning techniques. Everything I know about make up I learned from youtube tutorials. Even if it isn't a look you would use yourself, you can learn all types of tips and tricks! I've always found drag queens to be the most helpful and fun to watch. I hope this helps anon~
I'm lucky enough to be financially stable so when I got into lolita, I went straight for nice brand dresses. Unfortunately I'm not great at coording them, apparently. I always think I look nice, but then I get posted to the ita thread. I stopped posting on CoF but someone managed to track down my blog and posted untagged month old coords. Like, fuck, I'm trying, I follow all the advice I get, I've read hundreds of guides, but I just can't get it right. I don't know what else to do so I'm just throwing money at more expensive dresses hoping it'll help. I feel like some rich poser that doesn't deserve these beautiful dresses. Maybe I should just give them away to a poor girl that can actually dress herself and go back to normie fashion.
>>9566486anon, you just need a mentor, or people who give good concrit and can help you. don't give up, once you get help to put together a great coord, you'll be able to tell the difference and hopefully improve.
>>9566489I want to post in some of the coord help threads on here but I'm terrified of being recognized from the ita thread and getting made fun of more. Is that a thing that happens or am I just paranoid?
>>9566486Just get some trusted lolita friends or mentors from that mentor grup and run coords past them before you post. Other people's advice can be super helpful. Heck, you can even post here in some coord help threads.Sorry they just outright stalked you and posted ancient coords. Don't feel bad. Just keep in mind even really famous people need advice from stylists. More than one head is usually better and the learning curve is not the same for every lolita.
>>9566495Ntayrp but not gonna say 100% nobody will say anything because this is cgl. However, I'm sure most anons would be more than happy to help you out! Would rather help an ita than leave them in despair. This place isn't a hugbox, but you can receive unsugarcoated concrit that'll help.
>>9566495You could always post floordinates, then there's no chance of being called ita because it's just a mock up/layout for feedback.
>>9566500>>9566502>>9566514Thanks for the advice. I'm not looking for a hugbox, I'm just at a loss for what to do. Will try to work up some confidence and look for advice on here. Like, when I see the other shit that gets posted in the ita thread I wonder if I really do look like that.
>>9566539If you're even remotely trying and have an actual idea what a coordinate should look like, you're already in the top 50% of itas
I don't know why, but thinking about people saving my photos for whatever reason really scares me. Be it for inspo or to just mock, either way makes me nervous. I can't post coord photos because of the irrational fear
>>9566547One time I found an entire Pinterest folder of my coords someone had made
>>9566547Join the club anon. I'm pretty private so I really don't want everyone to be able to see and repost pictures of me. Plus I don't want people I know IRL to find things. I might just post floordinates sometimes.
>>9566547>>9566553>>9566561don't post pictures then?
>>9566539Someone at least has a vendetta against you to hunt down your old untagged coords, anon, so factor that in.I think if you haven't already, buy all items that are lolita at the very least. You said you bought brand dresses, but what about everything else? That means like a white taobao blouse, maybe some Bodyline shoes, a good lolita wig, and fitting legwear. A lot of itas I notice make their biggest mistakes just using really bad offbrand. A full set of actual lolita will make you look better than most itas already.You could also just buy a full brand set for yourself and experiment safely with accessories, cardigans, minor headpieces, and so on. Go further when you feel like you're improving.
>>9566547This is why I make sure that any photo I post of myself is 100% cute and I wouldn't hate having it archived somewhere, which means I post at most once a month. What really worries me is what happens to the photos strangers on the street make. They're probably unflattering and often made out of malice so how are they used? Who's getting to see them? Whenever I say that I'm not comfortable with them taking photos of me they get huffy, say "well you deserve it for dressing like that" and walk away. Never once has someone agreed to delete a photo of me or even let me see it. There are dozens of them out there. How do they look? Who has access to them?
>>9566611I have this fear as well. Am I just going to show up one day on some stupid "People of Walmart" type site when I'm just trying to live my life quietly while in lolita? I remember there was a lolita there and half the posts were lolitas defending her, but the other half were just dickish.
>>9566486cgl is not a very good place to improve
>>9566598Why would you tell someone with money to buy taobao and bodyline?
>>9566613Most of the time it's teenage/early twenties "baddie"-looking people who are already laughing while taking the photo so I'm 99% certain they end up on a site like that, or at best their own FB with a caption like hey, look at this retard!It feels so bad. Normally I dress in toned-down sweet-classic and negative attention is minimal but when I'm out with my comm, which has a wide variety of styles, we can't walk for more than a few minutes before some asshole runs up to us with his phone up, clearly taking photos or filming and laughing even harder and flipping us off when we ask him to stop. I get that we attract attention and don't mind stares but I do mind that everything is now documented somewhere. It felt much safer going out in alternative fashion before everyone and their child had a smartphone.
>>9566620Anon said she had brand main pieces. Just because you have money for a brand JSK doesn't mean you have money for a full set. Trust me, that's a pitfall a lot of brand itas fall into. They'll use like some dollar store vintage blouse with AP or something. Hello Batty or Moitie Ita are like my favorite examples of that.I said "get at least a full set for a lolita coord", even if it's taobao or bodyline. If she has money for a pure brand that's even better. If she does though, I don't know why people are calling her ita with a full brand set.
>skinny arms>big handsI feel like I have goblin proportions. At least my preferred styles are gothic/old school.
>>9566636Maybe I'm biased because all the itas I know in my comm are ita because they are too new to understand what you can and can't buy from bodyline and just buy any taobao clusterfuck without thinking about how it will look on them.
>>9566103I wasn't trying to imply that being talked down to and rarely treated like a competent human being because I look 14 in even the most bland of normie clothes is kawaii or even a good thing, but your reply got a pretty good chuckle out of regardless.
I have a brown birthmark on my eyebrow that's about the size of a grape and I feel like its even more noticeable if I try to cover it with makeup. I can't get it removed without risking my eye sight so I know I'm stuck with it forever. It doesn't bother me when I'm in normie clothes, but in lolita I get insecure about it even with bangs. I'd be so kawaii without it desu :(
>>9566636Doesn't Moitie Ita wear all Moitie all the time? That's what impressed me so much about her, being able to make Moitie blouses and accessories look like she dug them out of some musty thrift shop.I agree with your point, though. Most itas in my comm are ita not because they wear Milanoo disaster main pieces but because they coord their good or at least decent brand/Taobao main pieces with random stuff from normie stores that often doesn't even match in colour, let alone in style. I'm talking t-shirts and loafers with AP. It's not a good look.
>>9566657I love small imperfections with lolita. Do you know what wabi-sabi is? For some reason I also love when someone has one accessory that doesn't match or someone really ugly wears a perfect coord.
>>9566218Anon, there's nothing wrong with basic/simple coords. You shouldn't feel ashamed of wearing similar outfits at meetings! In my comm there's a girl who has like three dresses and wears only those. When she is able to, she coords them with different accessories, but honestly nobody gives a damn about it. If you don't look like an ita (and wearing basic coords doesn't make you one), you don't have to worry.
I always feel like my coordinates are too same-y. It's partly because I default to my favorite accessories and blouses, and in part because I have a very limited color palette (black, blue, ivory/white, and red/purple). I'm trying to get better and have various styles of blouses, along with more accessories.
I'm really insecure about my face- I have kinda chubby cheeks (think Selena Gomez, idk), bulbous flat filipino nose, big upper lip (i'd rather have a thin upper lip), and big chin. If I could afford plastic surgery for all of this, I'd do it no questions.>a-at least there's photo editing apps....
>>9565821I am with you. I mostly buy offbrand and print less brand to wear the dresses daily. But I do have my big dresses for big cons or meet ups. But it sometimes feel to costumery or over the top to be street fashion and comfortable.
I'm 5'9" and I almost exclusively wear ap, I'm afraid people will call me out for my dresses being too short, but I don't like underskirts
>>9565835Why not just dress up your bf so you can be little kids together?
My only insecurity really is that I've gained weight. I know I'll lose it again when I'm not as depressed but it's taking so long and I am an emotional eater. I went from thin to kinda chubby and it makes my boobs look weird in lolita...Opposite though... I'm scared for a friend of mine that just started going to lolita meets. The girl who organized the meet was saying some really nasty things to her, and making fun of her for being thin (she has trouble gaining weight.) Basically anytime my friend said anything this girl (woman?) would shut her down. She was texting me since I live halfway across the country and she just seemed so upset... I don't want her to develop similar insecurities just because someone was mocking her for everything that she did/wore/said. Does anyone have any advice for how she can deal with this woman without shunning the comm or trying to "ignore" it and having her insecurities get even worse?
>>9567477I would talk to the individual person directly in a private setting.
>>9567496Do you think a PM would be good? The woman won't let my friend even open her mouth without insulting her. This way my friend could type it all out without being interrupted?
I feel my coords always fail with my legwear because, even though I'm not fat my legs are kind of chubby and make printed socks look like shit.
>>9564828Embrace it.>>9565262Rule of thirds, cameras have the grids for those for more than ten years. Line up key features and shoot.>>9565284Embrace the snaggletooth.
>>9567587I have the biggest cankles on earth and I can't wear any brand legwear so I feel this so hard.
>>9565200My face isn't especially long. But it is diamond shaped too. I've taken to contouring a bit to round it out/make me look less angular.
I only feel comfortable in OTT coords because my first "coord" was an ita garbage trainwreck, so I feel like I still have to make up for that by being obnoxious, but it makes me wear Lolita a lot less because it's really just not feasible and I put off putting looks together because "no thats not enough, that looks dumb and plain"
>>9566642You don't have goblin proportions, you just lost your way to a yaoi manga.
>>9566134I think it's really flat pleats, or pleats that start high on say, an empire waist dress. Something floaty like AP's Lady Pleats skirt is a-ok, but the idea is making sure your waist is defined, otherwise you'd look like a super wide rectangle.
I sometimes feel extremely insecure when out in Lolita while I'm with members of the Lolita com. All the saltiness and hearing Lolita's bash each other all the time and tear down people who don't wear 100% brand makes me feel uncomfortable. I have an entire brand wardrobe when it comes to dresses so I can't really speak on that but I like seeing handmade Lolita's and I've seen some great coords made from offbrand items. And knowing that they are gonna tear you and your coord to spreads the second you are out of ear shot makes me feel like I'm not Lolita enough or that all my coords are trash. But when I'm alone or with some friends I don't feel that way at all. Maybe I'm just in a bad comm?
That my coordinates aren't OTT enough. That my pinks don't match. When wearing lolita in a normie setting, that people look at me weird because not only do I stand out already, now I'm wearing weird shit. When wearing lolita in a lolita or con setting, I'm worried someone will take my photo and it will end up here or posted on FB because I'm too afraid to decline to photos. I hate seeing how I look in photos. My makeup always looks the same no matter what coord I plan. I own a lot of blouses, shoes, and other accessories but I tend to stick to the same few.
Going to get accused of humblebragging, but here goes: most brand is too big for me. Even one of my Mary Magdalene dresses is too big - I have a 31 inch bust (yes, bust, not band size) and it's obviously baggy in the chest. I'm afraid of getting my dresses altered because I don't really trust a seamstress to alter my brand in a way that preserves the shape of the garment, so I suck it up and deal with baggy OPs and fully shirred JSKs nearly falling off. The saddest part is that the worst offenders are some of my favorites in terms of both print and cut, and it frustrates me to no end that they don't fit as they are. Inb4 "just gain weight". I don't want to be a chubbychan. My BMI is 19 and I still think I look a little pudgy.
>>9569924See a doc about that eating disorder, friend. Health over pseudobeauty.
>>9569924Are you short? Lolita is in general known for being a "bigger" fashion in terms of Jfashion. With that being said, 31 in bust and I'm assuming around 24 in waist isn't THAT small, especially if you are short.As for the feeling pudgy, you may just be skinnyfat, so that's a matter of exercising.
>>9569927Oh shush. I'm the same measurements as that anon. Nothing about what she says indicates an eating disorder.Anon, wear a push-up bra if you can or something that allows inserts.
>>9564765My normie style consists of throwing my hair in a clip and wearing leggings with no makeup. Can't style for shit and it shows in my Lolita. Also abnormally large legs for my size and socks look ridiculous because of it.
>>9569939Yeah, that's my waist measurement. I'm somewhere in between 5'3" and 5'4" and my bodyfat % is around 18. Maybe I just have the rotten luck of liking pieces that are on the larger side for the fashion. >>9569941Thanks for the tip. Is there a place you'd recommend for push-up bras? Somewhere other than Victoria's Secret?
>>9569924I have the same problem but I tend to sell what doesn't fit and keep the things that do. Asian (specifically Chinese) push up bras are my answer to princess seam bodices that have too much boob space. I am technically a 65B/70A but for a push up I'll get a 70B so there's more padding than boob . Takes me from 80 to 85cm bust. Gaining weight will do shit all to your boobs anyway, most people get bigger boobs after everything else has gotten fat. If you're pudgy, get to the gym or at least start doing home workouts, and look at what you're eating (not necessarily the calories, but the macronutrient distribution)
i tend to think of my wardrobe as more of a unit than individual coordinates. like, instead of buying jewelry that would match one or two of my main pieces, i consider the health of my wardrobe and buy something to fill the broader gaps. as a result my wardrobe is really cohesive but my individual coords don't have a lot of pizazz. it makes me feel boring and predictable around people who plan super elaborate and thematic things.
>>9570410I feel this at meetups mostly. At any other time the other girls go out wearing normie clothes while my functional wardrobe allows me to wear lolita daily so I feel a lot more confident in general.
>>9570410This is me. Almost everything I own goes together, so even though I don't have many main pieces I can make a ton of different coords with each one, but this also means none of the accessories/tights/whatever are perfect for a single piece so none of my coords have that "wow" feeling. But like >>9570413 said, it makes wearing lolita on regular says much easier, it just doesn't reel in the CoF likes.
>>9569961do you have any good links to bras you recommend? I feel that 80 cm bust life.
I cannot be a good lolita because my boobs are too big. I have developed breast hypertrophy due to a hormonal imbalance. I want a breast reduction but the surgery date keeps on being pushed back because of my myriad stupid health issues. This month I was scheduled for the surgery last year but they refused to because I needed clearance from cardiologist. I went to the cardiologist and then in January they found the problem with my heart and fixed it. I tried to schedule the surgery for the second time and again I need to be cleared by my cardiologist. I have to wait over a month until I can see him to even ask him the possiblity of having my surgery this spring. They've reached such a ridiculous size now that the majority of my dresses don't fit because my boobs take up the entire bodice. I lost weight but not enough to effect the size of my boobs. I wear oversized t-shirts to hide how big they've gotten. Back in March I actually started lactating because my prolactin levels became so elevated. It's under control now but it's going to take awhile for the breast tissue to settle. I'm just sitting on this huge wardrobe and I can't even wear the majority of it. I'm actually starting to get depressed looking at all my dresses. I remember when I first started lolita my breasts were normal and I could fit into my dresses. I want my god damn surgery for the love of god.
>>9572423Forgot to add. When I started lolita my bust was 38 inches now it's 49 inches. My waist went from 28 to 31 inches.
I wear old school and punk. My skin tone makes most pastels and lighter colors look sickly on me, so I'm always scared of looking samey and ita for wearing black and white. I want to get into more elegant styles, but my horrible loud personality means that they'd never suit me.
>>9565823>>9565708Why would they care? Why would you care even if they do care? Why would they even meet him anyway?>>9565821You could try doing what I do and buying flavour-of-the-month pieces to resell right after the event, since it can be fun to try a radically different style with no commitment. You end up fucked if AP re-release too much and drop the market value though.>>9565647Wear tights instead of OTKs, don't poof more than you have to as the wider your petti the shorter your skirt will end up.>>9565623Try planning your outfits the night before and choosing accessories then. I rarely spend much time in front of my wardrobe thinking but I'll use dead time during the day (like when I'm in a queue or on the loo) to mentally pick out a necklace for the next day or similar. If you're not good at remembering what's in your wardrobe it helps to have photos on your phone to refer back to (easy if you did a wardrobe post in January).>>9565320If you're Asian and they were doing it in front of you it sounds like they might have intended it to boost your confidence, especially if they know you're insecure.>>9572436It's not like you have to match your personality to your corod.
I have to walk with a cane so I try to make them as rori as possible (my main wardrobe is lavender and pink, so I have lavender & pink canes) but I still can't help but feel it makes me look different. I have sensory issues too that makes wristwear hell for me, so I try to work around it as much as possible but I still can't help but feel I look different.
I'm happy with my wardrobe, coording and posing abilities but I don't have a good-quality camera, and I also can't get nice photos in my apartment because there are no well-lit blank walls (and I can't take them outdoors except at meets because I have no friends to take them and it's not safe to set up a tripod or camera on a timer where I live). People have pointed out the less-than-stellar photo quality in CoF threads before, or even assumed I'd not put any effort in, when I always spend a good 40 minutes walking back and forth with a self-timer and old digital camera even to get the subpar shots I do. Likewise, I spent 40 hours on my wardrobe post last year and still felt like it was shit compared to others'. It feels like I'm wasting so much effort but not getting a good record of my coords, and it makes me more frustrated when I go to meets and none of the meetup pics turn out flattering.I know technology marches on and all, but my photos were considered fine a couple of years ago but now it seems like everything not taken on a DSLR gets crit. I keep toying with the idea of buying a DSLR or a light box but I'm in a much worse job situation right now than I was a year ago and can't really afford it, and I have no interest at all in photography outside of lolita so it's kind of a waste (plus, even if I bought a DSLR I'd have nowhere to set it up in my shitty apartment). I guess I should try to get friends that have the patience to take photos of me outdoors or something.
My biggest insecurity is less to do with how I look in lolita (aside from the occasional bad feeling that comes from being a chubby-chan, but at least I'm working on that) but more so how often I can spend time around my comm. I only get to attend meet ups once in a blue moon, since its so hard for me to get time off of work on the weekends (I work retail, at a small business--there's literally only me, the store owner, and one other employee). It's a bummer because I genuinely like everyone I've met through the comm, and I feel like I'll never be able to become as close as everyone in the main circle due to my shitty schedule :( I just want to hang out in my frills
Wardrobe consistency is an issue. I want to wear /all/ the styles despite not having matching items. Currently wardrobe cleaning to relieve myself. Coords are decent, provided I did not throw it together in 5 minutes. I'm slowly getting better so it will come with experience. Despite that I'm having trouble with posing particularly finding my angles, since having facial surgery. The surgery only made my strong jaw line stand out more since it was for medical reasons. Plus I have a flat asian nose. /end blog post
>>9569914That sounds like a really shitty comm, mine doesn't do drama and they don't care about offbrand
>>9569927A BMI of 19 is perfectly healthy. If you're saying that because she called herself flabby, she's probably just kinda skinnyfat like me. It's possible to be squishy even with small measurements.>>9569957>>9572229I have a 65cm band size and my favourite padded bras are from a Japanese website that sadly has disappeared. Maybe there are cute lingerie stores on Rakuten or something?
/cgl/ will never like anything I do. I listen to all the criticism I receive here, I lost weight, I try to improve my coordinates but with minor exceptions they all get torn apart here. I just want to be a good lolita.
I'm chubby, especially in my thighs and I hate it. I've lost over 20 pounds since I started Lolita and it still feels like I'm a whale, even when I'm average weight. It hurts because I'm not built petite, and I have a dress I know I'll probably never be able to wear, but I still keep it as weight loss inspiration.
>>9574423Don't hold cgl's opinion to such a high regard. To be honest there's no such thing as "cgl's opinion", as it's said here many times, this board is not a hive mind and you will never satisfy the anons. If there's a person who seems "perfect" and loved by everyone, at some point some anon will come along to shit on them just because. Plus, it's unfortunate but true that some (if not many, if not most) posters have no idea what they're talking about because they're new, aren't lolitas at all or just looking for a laugh via shitposting. Just do what makes you happy, anon.
>>9574423v good post from >>9574628Everyone has their own definition of a "GOOD" lolita. Really. It's different for everyone.No matter what you do, there will always be that one spasmoid who comes along and ruins your day, but don't let it get you down. You could literally look like a Victoria's Secret model and still get shit. It's just human nature, Anon.Don't sweat it.
>>9574622Lolita hides your thighs though? It's a great fashion for pears.
>>9572229 Basically... any bra that is hugely padded, about 3/4 cup, and they generally have 3-4 hook backs. This one is pretty good.https://m.aliexpress.com/s/item/32252090070.html
I have VERY severe puffy under eyes and Dennie Morgan lines due to my chronic allergies. They make me feel so ugly that I shouldn't even bother to put on makeup or dress nicely ever, so even when I do wear lolita I'm terrified that I look like a disaster simply because of my under eyes. I don't even have any other flaws that bother me too much, but the under eye thing is so bad that I'm ashamed to show my face at all ever.
I have a bmi of 19 and my waist is still 27 inches, I always hear Lolita's talk about how they have like a 21 inch waist and it really makes me feel bad, I've had a lot of problems with being underweight in the past so I don't wanna lose anymore but I feel like I'm fat when I shouldn't feel like that
>>9565352EpicCosplay wigs. I too have a giant head and these wigs fit great even when I had very long thick hair (lower back length). They're not necessarily like the most natural looking wigs but there's very few Lolita wigs that actually look natural anyway.
>got into Lolita while trying to recover from ED>looked amazing, fit into all the brand I could ever want, only fit problem I ever had was that I'm 5'9 >became semi-popular for my coords and outfit photos>four years later, completely recovered, back to pre-ED weight (not even overweight)>called a fattie, no longer as popular, can no longer fit in everything I want to, feel ugly half the time when I wear Lolita time to starve again I guess, I was a better Lolita and cosplayer when I was a skeleton
>>957914621 inches is only plausible for certain body types, like really short people or people with super small frames. i'd say 23-24 is more around the range that gulls claim to be. i'm 24 inches myself and 5'3. are you tall or something? 27 inches is reasonable for a taller person.
>>9579216you sound proportional thenit's silly to compare yourself to the measurements of shorties anon
>>9579179Is it really worth risking your life over clothes and cosplay?
>>9579179Do you really base your life choices on how popular you are? You sound pathetic. Honestly do whatever you want, if you want to say the way you are do it, if not, lose weight. Just don't use the"I was bullied into thinness!" excuse which is stupid and no longer valid considering all the whales you see in lolita fashion that are popular.
>98 lbs>Feel like I'm fatI know realistically I'm not but everytime I see anything fold I feel disgusting. Doesn't help that I have oddly big arms either. Why can't I be a cute proportional skinny girl?
>>9579845your weight only tells part of the story. depends on your height and if you put any effort into toning yourself. you're probably skinnyfat
>>9564765I feel that over time I have begun to feel self confidence issues growing. I have always been a lone Lolita and experienced no rudeness from strangers other than a glance here or there or the play quips. Yet I am almost 28 now and things feel weird I'm not sure how to describe it other than I am older and feel more self aware.
>>9579189>tfw I'm a 26" waist at 5'2 might as well die
>>9580224Your fine. Don't listen to /cgl/ sometimes because they sometimes don't actually have a good idea on how actually small certain waist sizes are.
>>9579845Everyone has folds when they sit in slouching or weird positions. It's not fat it's just your skin.
>>9565736Can you pay it in installments? I got one months ago and I'm really happy with it
>>9564975You'd probably look amazing in more mature Gothic styles an Aristocrat.
I'm considerably taller than all the girls in my comm. I'm 5'10, and to add to that, most of the girls in my comm are shorter than average (4'11" to 5'3") so even in flats I am a good deal taller than them. If I want to wear anything with heels I can end up over 6' and I get normies saying stuff about me being a "tranny" or drag-queen because I also have an androgynous/more masculine build (broader shoulders, angular face, muscular legs) despite just being a taller woman. Over time I've learned where to shop, what goes well with under-skirts, etc. and I like my ouji/aristocrat outfits, but in Lolita I just feel like a giant - like Brienne in frilly dress or something. Comm pictures are the worst because as I'm tall I always get put in the centre of pics, and it just makes me self-conscious. I like wearing the more masculine fashions, don't get me wrong, but I want to feel pretty in dresses too, not like ouji/aristo are my only options.
>>9564780>>9564809I always get the same concrit! I just don't like rings and bracelets. They fly away from my hands because I gesture so much because my wrist and fingers are thin. The wrist bone is pronounced too, and tends to hurt.
>>9565700>>I'm wasting hundreds on a wardrobe I maybe wear 1/mo and refuse to sell much of anythingShit anon, me too.
>>9569924My sister has even smaller bust measurements than you, but she just basically ignores it. It's probably more of a self-conscious thing anon!I suggest avoiding blouses and wearing cutsews under JSKs instead. Don't buy used dresses from western comm, just mercari and similar, they get stretched out as fuck.
>>9569924same boob measurements here too. I have the luck I know how to sew, so if anything is too big in shirring, I can easily take it in. try finding lace up pieces or go for cutsew/skirt combos if you're into that. skirts (especially older pieces) tend to be smaller. or you could go for capes and shawls to cover up the gap.push up bras help too ofcourse, but personally I find them too uncomfortable to wear daily.
Looks really do matter no matter how much the community lies to itself. Someone with a naturally cute face and figure will always look better in the same dress. The argument of, "It doesn't matter because you dress for yourself" is pretty much a lie. How other people see you matters a great deal.I don't think that means things are hopeless. But I want to ring some butter necks when they aren't even care of appearance basics before putting on hobby clothes.
>>9565700>>9582721>I'm wasting hundreds on a wardrobe I maybe wear 1/mo and refuse to sell much of anythingSame here except replace hundreds with "thousands", jesus. It's been nearly four years and I literally have enough to become a lifestyler now, super cohesive oldschool and classic like anon said, lots of special pieces, and yet I only wear lolita once or twice a month unless I'm on holiday. The local comm's small and fairly as well so I literally have like...one opportunity a year to travel to an event where I can wear OTT coords. I actually sold off a bunch of my most toned-down classic stuff a few months ago because I realised everyday lolita was never going to happen.
>>9582766Appearances always matter most in fashion, that's true, but >How other people see you matters a great dealThis is subjective and depends entirely on how much you value other people's perception of you. I'm not talking about the extreme cases of itas who are told that milanoo is a bad idea, and obviously concrit and feedback is a great way to improve, but what others think about you is not the end all be all, especially not in alternative fashion.
>>9582771What's keeping you from wearing lolita more often? What do you normally wear?
>>9582766This post only makes sense if you're talking about cosplay
>>9582863I work long hours, including most weekends, and can't wear lolita at work. When I'm not working I have to do household stuff like cleaning and batch cooking that I wouldn't want to do in anything that wasn't easily machine-washable (which my taste in lolita is absolutely not). It's not much fun putting on a coord just for a couple of hours in the evenings, especially when wearing that coord means end up letting things like trash that needs to be taken out or washing that needs doing pile up because I can't do it until I change. Basically I work all week and then my day off is for chores, so unless it's a rare week where I get two days off I don't get much leisure time that isn't late at night. I book my days off around nice-looking meets and I go to a goth night every month in gothic, but that's about it.Kind of regret not wearing lolita more in the early years of university but I would probably have been even more of a social disaster if I had. In the first few of years I was too much of a pussy and didn't own enough simple pieces, and by the final years I needed to put a lot of effort into getting on with people and not seeming attention-seeking in front of professors (there was another lolita in my department at university a couple of years ago and it had really affected how people perceived her - we had some of the same supervisors and she basically told me not to wear jfash if I wanted to be taken seriously). Now I've got most wishlist pieces I'm trying to switch my lolita spending from "lolita clothes" to "experiences I can have in lolita" (like going to a restaurant in the evening so I don't have to cook), but, like I said, don't get much time off during the daytime and a lot of my friends are broke so they won't come out with me to evening events.
>>9582863Not the anon of this reply, but I work with programming in a small town public office. I'm the youngest person there and everyone is so casual that even a simple casual dress is too much. Heck, I wore a white pair of pants with mint hearts and a normal tshirt once and everyone stared at me like I was possessed. I could wear it on the weekends but I spend them with my parents so it's really not an option. They hate it. A lot.I only wear it when I can get to the monthly meeting on a bigger town 1 hour away. Considering my lifestyle, I really shouldn't buy that much...
>>9579845part of the reason you probably feel this way is that when people post photos they intentionally are holding themselves in positions to hide folds. you could literally have no fat on your body at all and you would still have folds in some places because no one's skin is perfectly taut to their body. look for videos on youtube of female bodybuilders displaying this- they have insanely low bodyfat percentages, but how someone looks in a resting position vs. posing themselves for photos will always drastically different. watching a few of these will probably help you feel more normal. try to keep in mind that it's definitely in your head. this is likely true of your arms, too.
>>9582771>>9582889>>9582897Not to be rude, but why are you in this hobby? Do you enjoy collecting the clothes? Do you enjoy putting coords together even if you never wear them?Genuinely asking because it seems like so many people on this board are spending hundreds per month on clothes they wear rarely, if ever.
>>9582912I'm also wondering.. But desu I also don't really get wanting to spend your 1-2 days you have off in a month to go to a meet, I would just wear lolita for a few hours when I can and on my day off doing my own thing. But whenever I ask about this people get really defensive and start to talk about how hard it is for them to wear lolita.
>>9582912>what is a shopping addiction
>>9582912I love the clothes. I think they look beautiful and I want to collect all my favourites. I enjoy planning new coords and thinking about my wardrobe. I also admit I sometimes get the sense of sharing and online validation from uploading coords to social media that I've never actually worn out...stuff I tried on in my room and then put away again. I even keep lists and photos for self-reference of coord ideas for the future, especially for OTT shit that door-channing wouldn't do justice to and I want a nicer opportunity to wear.If I could wear lolita more often I would, which is why I wear it daily whenever I'm on holiday. Long term goals are to move to a less shitty area and get a more flexible job, but moving somewhere with higher rent or cutting down my hours would reduce my disposable income so much I'd have to cut down my lolita spending to almost nil.Ironically it's when I'm busiest and working the most fucked-up irregular shifts that I end up spending the most time and money on lolita. When I get off work at 2am I can't hang out (or do anything loud that would disturb the neighbours), but I can sit around on my laptop shitposting on /cgl/, and browsing auctions.>>9582915A lot of my local friends are in the local comm, so meets are a nice way for me to catch up with them. When I first moved to this area I went out solo more but I've visited all the museums and tourist attractions now so there's just not that much to do here alone. I spend my other days off on social obligations to visit family etc.
I own maybe four whole pieces of brand, my closet is 90% Bodyline (styled decently, but I still feel insecure), all my Lolita shoes are loliable "normie shoes" and boots, my blouses are vintage and thrifted and I have maybe three actual Lolita blouses, I have a manface, and I haven't bought actual Lolita clothes in months because my comm has moved to the southern part of the state for the most part.I am, truly, a /cgl/ beacon of sin and feels bad, man.
>>9573035Are you me? Minus the surgery. I really should have gotten it done sooner, but we couldn't get the insurance to cover it since maxillofacial surgery is considered a cosmetic procedure (and honestly, I think my orthodontists were slacking and probably fucked it up in the first place). It's getting worse and I'm off my parents' insurance. I just got my driver's license and it made me feel so fucking ugly. I could have all of the brand, but it won't fix my face. I really envy people whose instagrams are filled with selfies. I just want to be a kawaii-uguu-rori-desu.If you don't mind me asking:>Did you managed to get it somewhat covered by insurance? >Or was it an out of pocket procedure? How much was it? >What exactly did you get done and what was the healing process like? Might ask more later. A specialist showed me a video of a typical procedure and it freaked me out in spite of being some basic 3D model, but now I need to get over my fear of going under the knife. >Wardrobe consistency is an issueI had this problem early on and ended up taking a friend's advice to stick with a specific color scheme. Still a bit out of place since it's a mix of sweet and classic :/ I really need to get on selling too. Wardrobe wise, I can come up with a number of coordinates within a moments' notice, but it does get repetitive and sometimes I still end up missing that one thing to tie the coord together. I was teased about my pieces being out of date. I just really like 2008-2012 era of lolita fashion. Trying to add popular vibrant AP prints, but I really shouldn't be spending money on lolita for a while. I also feel like I'm a basic bitch. I've tried, but I don't really do ott lolita, and held onto the dream of being a daily lolita a là Momoko since I discovered the fashion. I guess it's better to be boring than ita.
>>9582912I got into it in my teens, and what better teen hobby than something that fulfills the desire of being unique and "not like the other girls" ? I was a pretty typical artsy weeaboo, so fashion and Japan went hand in hand. I found the aesthetic pleasing because it was alternative yet feminine without being tacky to my eyes; I wanted a happy medium between goth and rockabilly when it came to figuring out my personal style. Idk about you, anon, but ladies' fast fashion sucks balls. I own lolita pieces from as far back as 2005 and they've held up better than some cheap F21 pieces I bought less than a year ago. Working toward a disposable income for lolita shouldn't be different from any other hobby. It's certainly cheaper than people who are into 40K. The enjoyment of studying and wearing a well-made fashion piece that I've saved up and stalked for over time outweighs the buyer's remorse. I stuck with it because of how it made me feel and especially because of the friends I made through it. I think if I never had a young weeaboo phase and never got into lolita, especially, I would be a very unhappy and lonely adult. I still get stressed out like every one else, but I'd be a lot worse off without the online and irl communities. I can't image the loneliness parents feel with mainly seeing their children, spouse, and co-workers. Family is important, but so is time away from them. I used to visit nursing homes and I'll never get over how lonesome old people get. My dream is to be like those Red Hat Society ladies, but with lolita or alt-fashion in general. /blog post
>>9583296I was specifically asking about anons who have large wardrobes and don't wear them. It sounds like you actually wear your clothes.
>>9582766>I want to ring some butter necks when they aren't even care of appearance basics before putting on hobby clothes.I agree with this. I see so many girls in my comm who drop €250 on a dress but can't even be bothered to wash their hair for a meetup or buy themselves a bra that fits. It's so bizarre to be at a fancy high tea place for such an appearance-based luxury hobby and be surrounded by girls with greasy hair, dirt under their nails, hairy legs, several cm of backfat hanging over their bra band and falsies caked in multiple layers of mascara. How can someone be invested in something like lolita yet not give a fuck about basic grooming? If you'd look like a greasy blobby mess in a simple LBD then you're not going to look any better in a frilly pink one.
>>9583100Why are you dependent on your comm? Genuinely asking. You should wear your frills on your own sometimes, it's fun!
>>9583763I wear my stuff, but we have 2-3 meetups a month and I buy much more than I can wear. It's just retail therapy I guess.I'm trying to stop spending on main pieces and get more accessories so that I satisfy my addiction without having too much to wear.
>>9582645Maybe, if you can, pose sitting when taking comm photos? I feel this feel myself; I'm 5'8" and going to my first meet with my local community and the only other girl I know is at least a head shorter than me.>>9582718How about gloves?I'm sure you look good without wristwear, though.>>9583273Nayrt but I just had 7-hour surgery on my face back in January (was actually the second procedure, first procedure gave me a collapsed nose with a giant hole in my septum. It's a long-ish story). Not entirely the same procedure, but still extremely invasive and in a similar area. The goal of the hospital is to keep you as relaxed as possible, if you have anxiety (like me) they'll give you something to help you stay calm and content. Surgery itself is actually really comfy, and when you come out of it you're mostly going to feel sleepy. Worst case you feel a little sore a couple hours after, but that's what the drugs are for. The thing about any pain is, you don't have much energy to focus on it since recovery is mostly sleeping, so you kinda just...power through it. You mostly just have no energy.>One time I took a bath and was so exhausted I had to take a nap afterIf you can afford it, going under the knife is actually not that scary. The worst part is the IV
>>9583863That's actually a great idea, I'll look into it! Can't be that hard to find them in a thrift store.
>>9583961If your thrifting area sucks as much as mine does, Etsy has inexpensive vintage ones too!
>>9582561>>9565736I'm >>9583863 and insurance didn't cover all of either surgery because my nose hadn't been broken in the past and they considered nasal reconstruction "aesthetic" as a result. Most places let you put your payment on a credit card. I'm from a pretty expensive area (CT), but most places charge ~7k. Realself is a great resource for figuring out what to expect. I'm 6 months into recovery and it's been literally life changing. You won't regret it.>>9575567It may be a placebo, but I use First Aid Beauty's eye roller and it calms my allergy-ridden eyes.
>>9584028I'd definitively try Etsy, but am from a shitty third world country and unfortunately the dollar + shipping kills me. I wanted all the trendy brooches every lolita is wearing ugh.I will try Aliexpress/Taobao though.
I recently had a really bad experience when I saw someone I knew and was out wearing lolita. I haven't worn lolita in three months since then, and it's killing me. There's no comm close enough to me, and none of my friends are into it.
>>9584201First they stared at me and started laughing with the people they were with. I was embarrassed, but just ignored it and carried on. Later I found out they had been taking photos of me, and were sending them in a group that many of mutual friends, acquaintances, and other people I didn't know. I found out they were all mocking me in the group. It all felt so high school, but it really got to me.
>>9584212That's awful, anon. On the plus side, the damage to your reputation is done now, so you can move on and stop giving a fuck about what they think because they're always going to think you're weird.
>>9569957I have similar measurements (26 bust and 24 waist). The little bracompany is a good one , corsets (though completely customs ones are expensive) orchard corsets has some nice one and give free consultation, bare necessities ( bras) is a good one too. Out of Lolita, bralettes are great.
>>9584062My condolences, I'm cashing in before the annoying orange kills the dollar. Good luck on your search!>>9584234>>9584212>>9584111I'll fight them for you.Try to think of it this way: Lolita as a fashion developed from what was basically part of the punk movement in Japan.You've just earned your lolita street cred, they can go be salty miserable fuckwads elsewhere.I'll also fight them
>>9583834I'm not and I do, but with no real social events I haven't had a lot of inspiration/enabling to buy new frills. I've been hanging with the cosplayers a lot more than the lolitas and as a result sinking money I'd usually spend on Lolita into cosplay/regular Goth clothes.I just can't feel a lot of passion for my hobbies if I don't have anyone to share them and geek out with.
>>9575567>Dennie Morgan linesHoly shit, anon, thank you for posting about this. I've always wondered why my under eyes are ~so wrinkly~ and never even considered that it might be the severe allergies I've been cursed with since birth.
I have DeLavigne eyebrows and boy do they look stupid with lolita. I still haven't quite mastered how to make them work. >:c
I haven't worn lolita in over a year because it makes me look fat and I don't want to damage my clothes.
>>9586818Wear wigs with bangs
>>9586818You could try shaping them into another style, either a gentle arch or Korean straight brows. Otherwise it might just be learning how to fill them in a less heavy way.
>>9586818my natural brows are on the thicker side and I've found it's easiest to pluck off the outer tail and then narrow what's left, then fill them in with short gentle strokes with a soft pencil or powder
I have yaoi hands and size 11 feet so I can never find cute shoes that work with sweet lolita and don't just look like normie shoes wedged in to a lolita coord
I'm shit at coordinating and rely on sets to look put together. I don't normally wear accessories in my daily wear, so my coords look incomplete or too simple.