My life is going really good right now. I have a friend group I love, a boyfriend that's too good to be true, and my cosplays are getting better and better. The only thing is, I haven't been going to class. I'm a graphic design major, and I was absent for a lot of classes (they only meet once a week) because I was sick. I'm super behind and lost on the software, and the time away from class and talking to my friends who are also in my major that are absolutely passionate about it. I too, am passionate about it, but more in a theoretical way. I love it more in a conceptual way, and less in a practical way as I'm VERY bad at Creative Suite. I know it just takes practice, but I don't think I'm willing to put the time in because I know I'm not going to be doing what I want to be doing. I know that I'm not stand-out enough to get employed to my top choice job, that I don't have the work ethic to be completely freelance and I'll be stuck doing stuff that bores me for the rest of my life.
I posted in the last thread about this, but I want to switch majors and become a history education major. It's a complete change, but it's something I've always wanted to do. History has always been my best and favorite subject, and I always wanted to teach. I've just been put off by the pay rate, but honestly I'd be making close to what I'd be making as a graphic designer, and what's stopping me from doing freelance in the summer? I don't need a degree for that. I just feel like I can't openly talk about it because I'm 22 and in my 5th semester at community college (I was a liberal arts major before switching to graphic design), haven't been going to class, and deciding on a job where I literally cannot miss classes.
Also, hating myself because I've been paying for classes out of pocket and I have to wait until I turn 24 to apply for financial aid without my parents, which is probably what I'll end up doing because tuition is absolutely destroying my savings.