>moved to a new city to transfer schools, no friends
>suffer from depression, but it wasn't too bad all things considering.
>even find a friend from my high school who was interested in cosplaying!
>she wants to have a weeb night!
>start feeling better about moving.
>queue winter break
>depression hits me like a brick, don't know why.
>high school friend drops off the face of the Earth for a bit
>person I was interested comes back from break and is now completely ignoring me
>actually was going to tell him that we shouldn't be friends anymore, but at least I wanted to have the decency to have that awkward talk.
>try getting involved in school to combat depression
>mainly just want to skip rehearsals for something I forced myself to do
>just feel even more alone
>the two cons I was looking forward to need to be cancelled because of lack of funds-- work has been few and far between
>too afraid that friends will hate me to tell them
>but also if I don't tell them, they'll be angry
>one's actually already angry at me because she thinks I don't want to cosplay with her anymore.
>I shouldn't even be upset because she was being a bitch about the cosplay group I would have to bail on (hilariously, I'm still the furthest along with the costume).
>know that she'll throw a fit because I'm going to a different con in two months, despite the fact that I'm working there, getting paid for it, and it's super close to my dad's house so I'll crash there instead of a hotel.
>person I liked's friends start talking to me
>not sure if double agents or if he didn't tell them
>really don't want to find out because they're really nice to me and are actually my sunshine right now.
>kind of just want to roll over and kill myself, though.
I'll admit, I won't. I've come a long way with my depression and suicidal thoughts to know that shit's temporary, but I don't like the constant envisioning of myself jumping off a building or throwing myself in front of the train. Shit gets really vivid.