Introducing People to Lolita/Ita Prevention

[Anonymous No.8446783]

>friend is interested in lolita fashion
>tell her I might wear lolita to upcoming con
>"oh, I hear a lot of people cosplay as lolitas to that"
>um well it's more of a fashion than cosplay since we're not dressing as anyone
>"well, it's still a form of con-wear, so..."
>decide to drop this

>on her computer at one point
>meanwhile we're talking about a coord I'm planning
>open /cgl/ ita thread (I'm sorry)
>say that basically I just don't wanna look like this
>"it's not nice to make fun of people for this, they're just trying to have fun"
>this is true, but really not what I meant at all

>talking about random shit
>she mentions that she wishes she could wear lolita regularly
>ask if she ever has
>"no, but I'm thinking of starting at some point"
>planning on handmaking first dress
>try not to hemorrhage advice, but mention that OPs are good if you don't want a blouse and petticoats are a must
>"I can always make a petticoat out of tulle"
>have no idea if she'll even have accessories
>no idea if she'll want to join local comm

How do I help steer her towards the light? Also, feel free to greentext similar stories.

[Anonymous No.8446797]

Point her to some good blogs. Show her the ita and nitpick threads here and tell her the truth about how people in the fsshion rip you a new one if you don't follow the rules, yet smile to your face and mostly just asspat you in the facebook lolita groups. Tell her if she posts photos online tagged 'lolita' we consider her fair game to critique and make fun of if she's an ita. If she doesn't listen, there's not much else you can do.

[Anonymous No.8446817]

>go to first comm tea party after being in comm for 2 months
>invite friend who is also interested in lolita
>create coord for her using my things
>She decides to start her own lolita wardrobe
>I ask her what her style is
>"oh it's punk/hoe/witch/meme/black parade lolita"
> hmmmm
> Is genuinely concerned about her style choices since she's already been posted on cgl for wearing sweet
>tries to tell her that isn't lolita
>"so what, I'm happy with it???"
>internalizes advice and just agrees with everything she says

I'm both excited and worried to see her first coord, I want to see what kind of trainwreck she creates.

[Anonymous No.8446850]

>>8446817
I'd say you have two options here.
The first is to convince her to wear the coord you made to the tea party, look around at how people dress there, and then make your own coords.
The second is to completely take your hands off her steering wheel. Whatever happens happens, and she can draw her own conclusions from that.

[Anonymous No.8446855]

>>8446850
*make her own coords

[Anonymous No.8446860]

>>8446850
I've completely let go at this point. There's now way I can change her mind. It's going to be a complete disaster and I'm just along for the ride.

[Anonymous No.8446870]

Stories like these are why I will never ever help anyone get into lolita.

[Anonymous No.8446894]

I've done it twice. First girl quit lolita when she stained my favorite dress and I said she could no longer borrow stuff. Second girl wanted to get everything as cheap as humanly possible and didn't care it looked tacky as hell.
Never again.

[Anonymous No.8446928]

>>8446870
Same. I've tried pointing girls in the right direction by showing them pictures and Fyeahlolita, but when they go "whatever whatever Hetalialoli is too a legit substyle I do what I want" I give up. If they decide to join the local comm then others will help to guide them and if they don't I'm happy to let them enjoy their itaness in peace.

[Anonymous No.8447007]

>>8446850
I agree with this...some people just can't be helped and you kind of just have to let them figure things out on their own. If they really are interested in looking their best, they will ask for advice and find ways to apply it to themselves. Some people ask for advice and ignore it, which I'll never understand, but some people just don't care. In that case, it's best to just leave them be and let them just keep doing their own thing. If they wake up one day and start to realize they'd like to go in a new direction they'll reach out for help. Doesn't mean you can't attempt to point them in a helpful direction once in a while but yeah. I'm just saying, if you offer help/guidance and they come back saying no, just let it be until they show you they actually are interested in taking your advice.

I know it's hard not to feel bad or embarrassed for a friend but in this case if they just want to keep doing their thing, the best thing for you to do is just focus on yourself at this point. When you go places together at least you'll look even better than usual since you're next to someone poorly dressed.

[Anonymous No.8447020]

> introduce friend to lolita
> she instantly becomes a brand whore
> this is great she doesn't want to look cheap
> she still kinda does her own thing but I think it works for her
> we gush over dresses together and talk was hot her out of purchases for things we don't need/doesn't match our wardrobes/etc
> everything went better than expected.

[Anonymous No.8447027]

>>8446928
>Facebook friend shares her kawaii handmade "lolita" dress (complete with a tutorial)
>strapless, weird shape, awful colors, satin details
>ouch my eyes
>not sure if I want to post her to ita thread or try to help her, decide to help
>"hey fb friend! cute dress, I love lolita too~" -thank you anon-chan!
>"what kind of material did you use? satin? lolitas generally wear cotton dresses though" -oh I used cotton-satin anon-chan! plain cotton would be boring! lolita dresses should look fancy nyan
>nwm

[Anonymous No.8447134]

>friend wants to get into the local comm but considers Bodyline to be "top of the line" brand
>likes to wear their ratty oldschool pieces to get groceries/run errands without petti/matching shoes/blouse etc, always looks like she's just escaped from some kind of abandoned wax museum of creepy life size dolls
>finally started making handmade stuff, she's a pretty good seamstress so I didn't think it would turn out too bad
> she's fucking obsessed with circle skirts and scratchy chemical lace, uses them for every single dress she makes
>still refuses to wear a petticoat for whatever godforsaken reason, so her stiff starchy circle skirts look all limp and lumpy with stiff chemical lace edges

She isn't actually terrible at making the damn dresses, she just refuses to believe that circle skirts don't necessarily work with the silhouette she's going for. She looks like a deflated ballerina and still won't wear blouses either.

[Anonymous No.8447159]

>>8447027
UUUUGHHH....

[Anonymous No.8447172]

>>8447134
>still won't wear blouses either
Isn't this illegal in most places outside of Africa?

[Anonymous No.8447174]

>>8447134
Post a lace comparison and a lolita skirt pattern diagram, maybe she will get the hint.

[Anonymous No.8449304]

>>8447134
I mean, 3/4 circle skirts and even full circle skirts are alright if you have the proper petti and the rest of the dress looks good, so maybe try to go from there if she refuses to let go of circle skirts? Meta has released some circle skirt items, especially their sailor stuff. Looks really nice.
>http://lolibrary.org/apparel/sailor-bustle-skirt
>http://lolibrary.org/apparel/sailor-circular-op-solid
>http://lolibrary.org/apparel/sailor-skirt
Sounds like she's too far gone though.

[Anonymous No.8449566]

>>8447020
I'm so glad to finally read a positive story about a newbie.

[Anonymous No.8449714]

>>8446783
OT but I'm so happy someone turned that image into a banner

[Anonymous No.8449731]

I recently got into lolita and have been very careful planning coords and buying the right pieces. Always strolling the ita threads and advice threads to avoid any mistakes.

My friend wants to come along for the ride. She's the type of person that doesn't think wigs are necessary in cosplay. Help me.

[Anonymous No.8450184]

Thank goodness she isn't really interested in getting into it

[Anonymous No.8450197]

What are some of the best guides for a newbie?

[Anonymous No.8450205]

>>8450184
please track her down at otakon and take pics
we need new material for ita threads

[Anonymous No.8450214]

>>8446797
This was very good advice. That's rare in 4chan.

[Anonymous No.8450231]

>>8449714
That girl is my favorite, I don't care that she's ita, she's fucking awesome

[Anonymous No.8450267]

>>8450205
From what she showed me its just going to be some normalfag goth outfit

[Anonymous No.8450501]

>>8450205

[Anonymous No.8450638]

>>8446817
>"so what, I'm happy with it???"

I hate this. Like, okay, great! Wear what you want. I'm glad it makes you happy. But it's still not lolita.

[Anonymous No.8450733]

>>8450214
I think it's good to give people the true picture. If that does not make them cautious and get them learning to do it right then you know not to waste more time because they are not going to really get it.

[Anonymous No.8450928]

>>8450501
is it bad that i think this is kinda cute?
it's not lolita at all but i like it

[Anonymous No.8450945]

>>8450928
You are either under 18&banned or you have terrible taste.
Bad design, cheap shiny fabric
Terrible lace.

[Anonymous No.8451203]

A friend of mine has wanted to get into lolita/aristocrat for several years now. Her only problem was lack of a job, so I gave her a bunch of helpful links (like lolita-tips and fyeahlolita) to follow in the meantime. I've been trying to steer her away from the "I'm new to lolita but I wanna try out wa-lolita!" behavior. Unfortunately, she's introverted as shit, so I probably won't be able to convince her to come to a meetup with me for a long time.

[Anonymous No.8451212]

This may be an unpopular opinion but I do not encourage anyone to 'get into' lolita. If they do not have the personal motivation to study up and the wit to learn do it right then I don't think encouragement or a friend's assistance will make up for the lack. Once they jump in and make a decent start, some concrit and tips may help them improve but not until they actually take the jump and can put together a first real coord.

Let the cosplaying Lolitas and clueless itas stay that way, it doesn't hurt anything. We who are Lolitas know better and thats really all that matters. But be honest and also don't invite them to lolita meets or into comms until they can really do lolita.

[Anonymous No.8451218]

>>8451203
If she wants wa-lolita, point her to the HMHM meta inspired jsk

[Anonymous No.8451222]

>>8451218
I've pointed her towards the best wa-lolita coords (done by the same person) and told her that simply shoving a petticoat up a yukata is a terrible idea. I haven't showed her the HMHM JSK, however.

[Anonymous No.8451260]

I was very lucky that I got into lolita and found people to help me early on. I also fell in love with Btssb straight away

[Anonymous No.8456650]

>>8447027
Sounds like an acquaintance of mine.
>middle-aged woman
>okay seamstress who thinks she's a brilliant seamstress
>wants to jump into the lolita market but everything she makes is horrifically ugly
>gets upset when someone tries to give her concrit no matter how polite
>when nobody buys her ugly overpriced messes she cries about lolitas being brandwhores who don't appreciate creativity and originality
Good luck with your brand, lady.

[Anonymous No.8456697]

>>8450501
>>8450928
It looks like something Putumayo would come up with except made with really crappy cheap materials.

[Anonymous No.8457530]

>hanging out with male cousin. Talking about lolita.
>mention how I wish I had someone to dress up with
>he says he wants to get into the fashion and wear ouji
>so excited, of course
>he's so lazy at picking things so I have to pick the whole coord he's buying.
>he still doesn't like my suggestions and buys a bunch of ita crap instead.
>what have I done.

[Anonymous No.8457821]

>>8450197
http://fyeahlolita.blogspot.nl/
This blog has some great guides.

[Anonymous No.8457857]

>there's a new babby lolita in the comm
>asks about sewing lolita
>most of the comm members offer solid advice

Then there's itachan

>recommends milanoo
>half the comm jumps in to tell her that's a bad idea
>itachan: "Well I'VE never had that problem!"
She doesn't even really look bad, but damn her advice is terrible. We're trying to set this girl up for success and itachan is ruining it. I'm almost suspicious that she's trying to make babby's first lolita look terrible but I've never seen her do anything spiteful before...

[Anonymous No.8457935]

>>8456650
Is her name Meg?

[Anonymous No.8458046]

>>8446817
>punk/hoe/witch/meme/black parade
I'm fucking loling
...wait, I just assumed you were being silly, is this what she actually said? Still lmao either way

[Anonymous No.8458054]

>>8458046
I wanna see it, too. :^)

[Anonymous No.8458097]

>>8450184
Is her name by chance one that starts with T

[Anonymous No.8458132]

>Be in class with friends
>Wearing Grimoire's Celestial with a very small petti
>Friend mentions her little sister was interested in buying a lolita dress
>Anon: "OH, that's super cool. Where is she getting it from?"
>Friend: "She's been looking at My Lolita Dress, ever heard of it?"
>Explain to my friend that it isn't a very reputable shop, like Milanoo
>Friend: "I actually love Milanoo. I've seen so many cute dresses on there. My sister actually almost bought one recently."
>She shows it to me on my phone and it is a big red lace monster with cheap looking satin bows
>Start sending her information about potential stores she could look at for a nice dress
>Offer to help her find a nice one
>Friend just shrugs her shoulders and says she thinks the Milanoo is fine and that they would probably continue look at My Lolita Dress

[Anonymous No.8458138]

>>8458132
My Lolita Dress is a reputable shop though. They have nothing to do with milanoo. Just don't buy a replica and your fine.

[Anonymous No.8458143]

>>8458132
How many times do we have to explain to you newfags that My Lolita Dress is a Taobao reseller and not affiliated with Milanoo in any way? It's run by a woman named Linda, she has great customer service which helps make up for the somewhat higher markup. Stop spreading this.

[Anonymous No.8458157]

>>8458132
I've bought things from My Lolita Dress because I didn't want to deal with ordering through taobao and needing a ss. People really need to do research before they start spreading shit.

[Anonymous No.8458165]

>>8458132
Newfags shouldn't advise others on matters they themselves know diddly squat about

[Anonymous No.8458179]

>>8458143
>How many times do we have to explain to you newfags
Just because someone hasn't used a particular reseller shop doesn't make them a newfag. When I first heard the name, I saw posts saying the site seemed sketchy and could possibly be a Milanoo sister site. Would I still recommend a reseller? Not if they could find it somewhere else cheaper and not when Taobao brands can be hit or miss.

[Anonymous No.8458196]

I wish people would show new lolitas a pictoral timeline to put 'new school' into context because as more and more new people get into it they jump into a style already a fucking million miles away from what I recognise as 'lolita' and push the boundaries further still...

[Anonymous No.8458197]

>>8446783
>she mentions that she wishes she could wear lolita regularly

[Anonymous No.8458222]

>>8458179
You don't have to use a site to know that other people have had success on it. Seriously there have been so many talks about it on cgl and we have discussed multiple times that they are fine to do business with. The reason why someone is calling you a newfag is because you clearly have never read any of these threads or put that much research into this site.

[Anonymous No.8458239]

>>8458143
How many times do we have to remind other people that there are two websites with almost identical names. Despite my-lolita-dress being in the clear, mylolitadress DOES belong to Milanoo. As long as that second one exists I'll still feel wary whenever a newb mentions it by name.

[Anonymous No.8458247]

A new person in our comm
>my favourite substyle is wa-lolita
>anime is my liiiife!
>I am mostly a cosplayer so I don't want to spend much money on lolita
>I want to wear cat ears with my dress

She hasn't put together a coord yet but I am hoping I am not at the same meet as her.

[Anonymous No.8458270]

>>8458197
OP here, not sure what you're trying to get across with pic related

[Anonymous No.8458278]

>>8458270
Wish more people would take after the fashion tbh

[Anonymous No.8458280]

>>8458222
No, I don't research things that don't appeal to me. The only reseller shops I use are Alice Fururun and Closet Child, I've never needed anything else. I usually buy things directly from the shop or from auction sites. The rare times I have needed information regarding resellers I've just looked on EGL for information.

>>8458239
>mylolitadress
That's probably the site then. The dress she showed me was less Taobao tier and more monster quality.

[Anonymous No.8458288]

>>8458278
Oh! Yeah, this is someone who really likes cute girly stuff but doesn't always feel cute enough to wear it. I hope I don't scare her away.

[Anonymous No.8458322]

>Be me, Freshman year of college
>meet two girls who get me into Tumblr
>Tumblr inadvertently reintroduces me to lolita fashion (I hadn't really looked at it since middle school)
>start reblogging lolita fashion, friends love it
>decide to start lolita, friends also show interest in starting!
>We go through our ita phases together, dissing elitists, doing Bodyline group orders, and drooling over Oo Jia
>Replica ban happens, Those awful elitists!
>decide to read the thread in EGL. Actually change my mind and side with the replica ban.
>I start saving money and buying brand, while trying to participate in the community more. (Posting on Daily Lolita, EGL, Facebook mentoring groups etc)
>Friends seem kinda content with where they are.
>I join the local comm, saying I will test the waters for us (Friend A has social anxiety, and was scared ppl would make fun of her.) I love it and keep going.
>Friend B seems to be mad that I do lolita stuff without her, and Friend A decides that lolita is not for her.
>They start doing steampunk.
They seem a lot happier with Steampunk, so this really didn't end badly, although Friend B once insinuated that I was using scholarship money to buy brand. Which pissed me off but whatever

[Anonymous No.8458487]

>>8449566
I've got one.

> Wears lolita regularly to university classes
> Halloween coming up, friend asks to borrow lolita dress to be "creepy cute doll"
> eerrr... okay?
> Older, but still cute, bodyline dress and socks and taobao shoes (same size)
> She actually looks pretty cute!
> Halloween comes, she wears really insane makeup with blood and everything. Super talented at makeup, and she has a blood clattered apron. Reminds me of guro lolita.
> Compliment her skills. She tells me secretly she always wanted to dress cute like me, but was too scared too, so she took halloween as an excuse to doll up.
> Feels.jpg
> Immediately goes into lolita mentor mode. Talks about bodyline, taobao and other cheap places.
> Makes first two coordinates together. Pretty good.
> Time passes by, buy her a brand dress (BTSSB is her favorite one) for her birthday.

It's been a year and a half since she first got in, and her wardrobe is still small, but versatile. She's a quick learner, and although her closet is mostly offbrand, her coordinates are very balanced. I'm def proud of her!

[Anonymous No.8458556]

>>8458487
Ah this story makes me really happy. I am glad you could inspire her!

[Anonymous No.8459866]

>>8457935
No, but she does look like a Meg. Or a Betty. Something along those lines.
I'm trying to gently nudge her towards retro/rockabilly instead. They can have her.

[Anonymous No.8459920]

>>8458138
Reputable shop
They sell replicas.
Er. No.