Lolita and children? survey

File: 1.58 MB, 1110x1754, GLB_VOL_4 (50).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Lolita and children? survey Anonymous Sat May 30 10:24:08 2015 No.8365637 [Reply] [Original]

So, I'm at a point in my life, where I have to ask myself, if I want to have children someday. I love children, and I'd really like to start a family some day. But I feel kind of alone with that view. In my local community everyone seems to despise children and motherhood and I've been asking myself, if that was a common opinion amongst lolitas in general. So I came up with a little survey. I think we never had this topic before, so I think it might be interesting to see what opinion everyone holds on this topic.

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 10:35:37 2015 No.8365649 Who cares if your fucking alternative fashion community doesn't like kids? If you want kids, have kids! Don't let a bunch of 16-30 year old weeaboos dictate such a personal decision for you. Jfc.

Anonymous Sat May 30 10:46:39 2015 No.8365661
File: 44 KB, 300x300, kid022-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I can't wait to dress my future kids super cute in little j-fashion outfits. If bodyline still has cute kids stuff for cheap I'll buy there. Remember, communities change and people come and go, but you family is forever.

Anonymous Sat May 30 10:58:29 2015 No.8365674

>>8365637
>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
no
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
I'd be a shitty mum and frankly I just don't want to
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
n/a
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
not unless you're 16 and unmarried
where in the world is motherhood looked down upon? where the fuck do you live?
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
no
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I probably wouldn't spend as much on myself. Call me a prude but I'd turn normalfag (I wouldn't dress frumpy or anything still) and instead just wear lolita-inspired stuff sometimes. Most of my money would go on my children because if you spend more on pretty dresses instead of your kid, you're a shite mum imo.
I think it can work but only if you attend lolita events sparingly and are able to work with a much smaller budget.
I'd dress my child in the frilliest clothes.
If I were to have one, which I won't.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 10:59:39 2015 No.8365677 >>8365661 >Unless your family is the Duggers >Get the fuck outta there

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:08:10 2015 No.8365688

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Yes, I want to have kids.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
n/a
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I'd probably want to start around 22, which I know is early for some but that's just how my family is. Ideally I want 2-3 kids. I have a steady government job, so money isn't a huge issue and yes, I'd be spending most of my free time and money on my family.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Not really, though being a young mother can be looked down upon. I live in the south and was raised by a somewhat fundamentalist Christian family so they'll be ecstatic once I start having kids.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
No moms in my community.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I wouldn't dress up my kids unless they wanted to be dressed up. I'd wear much more toned down outfits, not buy much for myself, and only dress up if I'm going out for dinner or something. I think they're compatible, but kids are messy so that's a factor and your kids should always come first.

If I had to let go of lolita to have kids, I absolutely would. Family is more important than clothing no matter how much I like to wear it.

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:11:24 2015 No.8365693

>>8365637
>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I don't want kids, but I have nothing against kids or people who want them.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?Some people are cut out to be a good parent, others aren't. I like kids, but only for short periods of time, and I think I wouldn't be able to give a child the attention and love they deserve.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Mothers aren't looked down on, and a lot of people still see it as something that you just DO, and not a decision. My mom still tells me that I'll change my mind, and that she wants grandkids.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
There are none that I'm aware of. Most of the regulars aren't interested in kids at all, except for one or two.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I don't want kids, but I'm sure it's possible to be a lolita and have them. It seems like it would be difficult though, especially with young kids. I think that you should only dress kids up if they specifically ask.

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:17:25 2015 No.8365702

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I like the idea of parenthood, but realistically, no.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
The world is a shitty place and I don't want the moral burden of bringing another life into it. Also the fear of fucking up as a parent.
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
If I ever were to have kids, it would probably be around late 20's early 30's, assuming that I am financially and emotionally stable enough to raise them. 2 kids max. And yes, I'd still keep some aside for personal stuff but most of it would probably go towards the rugrats.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
The country I come from has one of the lowest birth rates in the world. My parents dream of holding their precious grandchildren though.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Nobody brings their kids to comms, and I don't ask about their personal lives much, so no clue,
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
A lot of the money I'm putting into dresses right now would probably shift to preparing a college fund or something, so probably step down a bit.

As for dressing your kids in lolita, I'm not against it per se, but I've got major beef with parents forcing their personal interests and investments onto their children. If your kids like lolita, go nuts. Just don't bring them to meets if they're not well-behaved.

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:21:12 2015 No.8365704

>>8365637
>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Have a child already. Don't plan on having more until I'm in a better position jobwise.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
There isn't as much stigma as there used to be, what also helped was I was 19 and a few other people that used to be in my class had children.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
No mothers in my local comm(except for me). I don't know how I am viewed but I hope that they don't look down on me solely for being a parent. I seperate Lolita and motherhood completely, I rarely talk about my daughter in a Lolita setting because it's not the place for it(plus meet-ups are my break). I think the last meet I went to I talked a bit more about my daughter but that was because she was very sick and in my thoughts all the time but generally I don't like talking about her in that setting because I don't want to be one of those moms who won't shut up about their kids.
(1/2)

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:22:12 2015 No.8365707

>>8365704
(2/2)
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
It mainly influences my spending habits. When I buy a pair of shoes for example, I have to think a) will I get my money's worth out of the shoes and b) if I can't get my money's worth can I resell them and make up the loss? It also influences the amount of dresses I get per year and the amount of meet-ups I can attend as kids are expensive. I definitely think Lolita and motherhood are compatible though, not so much sweet but certainly classic and gothic. I have often times collected my daughter while in Classic with no issues.

As for dressing my daughter, if she wants to dress up herself she can but she hasn't really shown an interest. However she has a kimono for the occasional con we go together as a family.

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:32:19 2015 No.8365721
File: 54 KB, 720x575, Screenshot_2015-05-16-02-38-58~2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm a mom and my kid and lolita don't mix(a slobbery, drooling, 8mo with a pension for grabbing everything in reach is not a good idea) He stays home with dad or goes off to visit the grandparents when I go to meets. It's my chance to dress up in something pretty and get a break from my kid. Get a reminder I'm not just "mom" I love my son but you tend to crack a little when you're around your kid 24/7 except for the occasional errand.

I get a mix of different reactions. Some of the girls don't like kids, some are indifferent, and some like kids. I hate it when I get stuck talking in mom mode. I imagine a few girls don't really care but are just to polite to say anything.

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:37:50 2015 No.8365727

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Maybe one day. I'm getting older and some friends I know are getting babies these days.
I don't feel like it yet and I think it should be a thought-through decision. I don't think my current situation is up to it either, seeing I don't have a stable income. My partner does but since I still feel insecure about my future, how much more would it be with children you know.Next to that, yes I still sometimes feel like a kid myself, I am active, I do all kinds of stuff. I am afraid I have to loose all of that when having kids because yes they take about all of your energy and I'm already low on energy most of the time.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
Maybe around 30-35, when I have a stable job/income. You obviously have to sacrifice lots of freetime, but that is my opinion. I know lots of mothers dump their kid somewhere at grandparents or daycare and go off having fun...I don't know if I could do that. Maybe I would need to..it just feels like such an extreme to me. You just can't get rid of kids you know and if you would get rid of them it's only for a short time.
And yes probably I would have less money for own hobbies and all, although maybe later in life I would get it a bit back.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
How are mothers looked down upon? lol. I come from a big family and am the youngest, all of my bigger sis/bros have kids, they are actually 'waiting' for me, sigh

1/2

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:42:33 2015 No.8365733

Don't have time to answer all your questions specifically but

I don't like kids, I absolutely do not want them, or want to be a parent, and pregnancy really freaks me out, but I don't judge people who want children as long as they are able to be a good parents (stable in life, not doing drugs, mentally able to provide care) because it's a very personal choice and for the people who do want kids it's a wonderful thing. I would try to be supportive as much as possible and in return would hope the other person would be understanding that really young kids and pregnancy make me uncomfortable and not take offence if I say I don't want to hear any details about it or want to hold and coo over the young kid.

If the people in your comm can't be supportive of you wanting to start a family, and you are in a place in life where you are ready and able to do it, they are probably not a very friendly group of people. I do" despise" children and motherhood for myself (I hate to use that word though, it's a little harsh for something that is so important to most people), but I wouldn't put down or discourage another person from it unless I had a very good reason (like not being stable enough to take care of a child, There's a side of my family that keeps cranking out babies and is abusive, does illegal dangerous drugs, and are really stupid shitty people in general who hop around from partner to partner and get knocked up all over again. They aren't very bright and need to stop reproducing pronto, I feel bad for the poor kids who are going to have hell lives and grow up to be just as ignorant and probably on drugs.)

Anonymous Sat May 30 11:44:15 2015 No.8365739

2/2
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Yes there are, one is getting older and it shows and she never brings her kids so it looks like she has none but I never saw her visit small meets, she only goes to conventions, I don't understand her really.
The other one is actually more well-known in the comm but more for the old-schoolers than to new-comers. She embraces motherhood and takes her kid to events as well but we didn't have any problems with the kid (silent kid I suppose), I think it's kinda cute. But she also isn't that active anymore I think so nobody really cares maybe.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I think it's possible, if you just have fun and maybe lolita would be like you-time when the baby is still young and it would be cute-time when you can dress the kid or dress cute together or something. If you're not into cute I don't see why you would stop, the only reason might be that being older means being a minority in the community usually and sometimes looking older might mean you wouldn't look good in lolita anymore but it totally depends on if there is any interest left in lolita at all for that person.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 11:59:39 2015 No.8365765 >>8365661 I never said breed like rabbits, just have a kid if you want and can support it.

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:14:53 2015 No.8365792

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Disgusting. Maybe in like fifteen years I'll want to adopt a son, but that's not exceptionally likely.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
I hate kids, and I'm selfish.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
I feel like white people in America (or at least the region where I live) are expected to have kids late. If you have kids before 25, people feel sorry for you and/or think you're an idiot.
My dad really wants grandcchildren, but my mom doesn't care.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
I've known a couple moms, but they tend to leave their kids out of it.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
It wouldn't affect my lolita life at all, because if I ever have a kid, it would be after I got too old for the fashion.

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:20:54 2015 No.8365803

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
No kids for me (I miiiight consider adoption one day but will never give birth), but I definitely support people who choose motherhood.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Lots of them. The idea of pregnancy sickens me. I have some body dysmorphia issues related to weight and probably couldn't handle the changes to my body. I dislike babies and children in general (I play nice and they like me, I'd never be a dick about it, but I wouldn't want to be around one all the time). Adoption would only be considered if I had a change in lifestyle that would be more compatible, and even then I'd probably adopt an older kid.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Not at all. My friends are mostly childfree, but in my area people actually tend to think we're the ones who are doing it wrong.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
No moms that I know of.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
Kids are expensive and should be a primary concern, so unless you're wealthy, you should probably scale it back a bit, but I don't think mothers have to quit lolita altogether. And if the kid wants to dress up, cool, but don't force them, they aren't toys or accessories.

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:21:41 2015 No.8365806 [DELETED]

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
My perception is skewed, because I work with the special needs population. I think a lot of women envision their future baby as this "perfect" child and when it isn't, their world comes crashing down. I have met someone awesome parents of special needs children though. It intimidates me. I don't know if I would be a good mother of a child with special needs or not.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Don't think I would be a good parent
Selfish
World population is too high
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I would sacrifice a lot of my hobbies for my child. I would probably just focus on my career and kid.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
I think the norm is to praise motherhood. At least in the US...
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
A lot of lolitas in my community do not seem to like children. I saw one lolita look absolutely repulsed when a young girl hugged her. However, I dont think they would hate someone, because she is a mother. I just don't think they would want kids to join meets.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
At least for me, lolita will be too expensive to do while being a mother. I also think that it's a selfish hobby. It's ok to be selfish sometimes. You have to do what is good for you. However, my child, if I ever have one, will come first.

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:22:53 2015 No.8365807

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I think it's admirable to be a mother but it's also a lot of responsibility to become one. I like the idea of having kids but not sure about actually giving birth/whatnot and if parents keep bugging me about getting a partner If rather stay single.

>what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have?
Personally if say late 30s but would depend on your financial state. If you don't have the means to support a child. Don't have one.

>How would you afford it?
Refer to above.

>Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I feel only ignorant mothers /wouldn't/ sacrifice time and money on their kids. Not to say that you can't have time for yourself, but kids are a big responsibility as I said before and you have to put these responsibilities before your own extra needs.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live?
Of course not. Probably only mothers that abandon their children and the typical, mother with no father.

>How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Probably the same as above.

>Are there any mothers in your local community?
I know one Lolita mum and she still has time to dress up ad go to meets but she does have to bring her child with her. Most people gush over the baby and the baby isn't loud or annoying so I don't really see much of a problem at all. Child has cute nerdy onsies, not Lolita though.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life?
I actually cosplay (sorry if I'm derailing a little) but I feel like it would encourage children to be a little out there. Although sometimes maybe they'd wish you were like "other parents" would probably depend on how they're raised

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:23:59 2015 No.8365811 >>8365721 penchant, love he ain't that old yet

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:24:03 2015 No.8365812 >>8365803 I should say that I'm in my mid-twenties, as are most of my friends. It's not uncommon for people to have kids right out of high school in ny city, and plenty aim to be pregnant around my age at the latest for their first child.

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:24:51 2015 No.8365815

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
My perception is skewed, because I work with the special needs population. I think a lot of women envision their future baby as this "perfect" child and when it isn't, their world comes crashing down. I have met some awesome parents of special needs children though. It intimidates me. I don't know if I would be a good mother of a child with special needs or not.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Don't think I would be a good parent
Selfish
World population is too high
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I would sacrifice a lot of my hobbies for my child. I would probably just focus on my career and kid.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
I think the norm is to praise motherhood. At least in the US...
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
A lot of lolitas in my community do not seem to like children. I saw one lolita look absolutely repulsed when a young girl hugged her. However, I dont think they would hate someone because she is a mother. I just don't think they would want kids to join meets.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
At least for me, lolita will be too expensive to do while being a mother. I also think that it's a selfish hobby. It's ok to be selfish sometimes. You have to do what is good for you. However, my child, if I ever have one, will come first.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:27:45 2015 No.8365816 >>8365812 do you live in NH?

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:29:26 2015 No.8365819

>>8365807
>2/2
God damn I didn't read the previous question properly.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Less time, probabaly less money depending on whether you continue the hobby to the same extent you did before you had the child.

>Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other?
Yes.
>Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I wouldn't abandon a hobby per say but toning it down would be a must, just because you're making space and time for another being in your life and you'd have to understand it's not just all about you. If you had enough money to keep buying brand dresses on top of your kids needs that's great. Though considering you could use that money to enhance kids learning or education could also suffice. Your money. Do what you want.

I doubt is make a kid cosplay/wear Lolita unless they wanted to and I guess as their main role model I don't think they would object. But again. Consider children's feelings because they're human too

sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w Sat May 30 12:32:18 2015 No.8365825

>>8365803
>No kids for me (I miiiight consider adoption one day but will never give birth), but I definitely support people who choose motherhood.

all women in their mid-20's say this

until they forget a pill after a tinder date

or fuck up the pullout method

or....they're a bridesmaid in 3 or so weddings and jealousy takes over

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:35:21 2015 No.8365828 >>8365825 Not having kids doesn't mean not getting married

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:35:22 2015 No.8365829

>>8365637
>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I think motherhood is a personal choice, and I do want to have kids. At least 3.
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
My husband currently makes enough to support a baby easily, but I'd have to give up my lolita. Currently 19, going to have kids by 24-25 latest so I'm not 50 by the time they graduate high school and can recover better. By then going to have a good income as well, and husband is probably going to be at 6 digits. Need to buy a house first as well. In my culture it's the norm to get a nanny or your mother comes to help take care of it, so I'm not worried about childcare or freetime.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Amongst Asians, everyone is very gossipy about marriage and children and women who don't are traditionally considered spinsters and useless. Idgaf about that. I just want kids because they'll be lovely haffu's and I like kids. Nobody in my comm has kids I think, although most are 35 or so? A few are gay and the others are hetero but we don't really talk about family or work at meets.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
There's one girl I know who has a small son, 3 I think. She wears steampunk and lolita and her son cosplays. Last time he did the main dude from Slam Dunk and it was pretty cute.
1/2

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:36:16 2015 No.8365833

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
If yoy wanna have kids do it i dont care as long as youre a responsible human being w/e. I always wanted to have kids one day.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
N/A

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I was adopted. My biological parents were 14 and 16. Growing up I was determined to not let that happen to me. For whatever reason when i was younger I decided I would always declare that i would wait till I was 24 to have kids. As an adult I had forgotten about that, but as chance would have it, 2 weeks after my 24th birthday i found out i was pregnant. I'm pretty satisfied with the one i have now. Maybe in the future I'd like to have a second one. We've talked about maybe 4 or 5 years from now. As of now we can afford it just fine, except I'm on a Lolita buying hiatus for the rest of the summer. I don't have much free time because when I'm not working I'm doing chores around the house. I don't have a lot of free time but i don't think it's baby related. I actually feel more productive because i don't sleep 10 hours a day anymore.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
No body cares as long as you're not a drug addict/alcoholic/underage/responsible

1/2

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:37:18 2015 No.8365834

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I want to adopt cus pregnancy seems too painful and I feel bad for orphans
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
Looking to get a kid in the next 5-10 years (I'm 22), waiting to have a stable income, our own place and such. My bf wants 1-2 kids but I want 3. I'd want to be close to my kids and be engaged in their education & stuff.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live?
No
>How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
They don't care? I guess
>Are there any mothers in your local community?
Yes
>How are they being viewed?
Badly
>Do they seperate motherhood from lolita?
No
>Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Sort of. It's the one that brings her kid to all meets.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life?
I wouldn't want to get my brand dirty and would have less time to get ready before going out, so I'd tone it down until the kid is older.
>Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other?
??? Yes, unless you spawn a baby each year and don't want vomit on your other baby
>Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
Idk I'd rather have boys, so maybe ouji if they like it.

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:38:07 2015 No.8365836

>>8365829
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I buy most of my high-waist AP with maternity wear and breast-feeding in mind. Definitely going to buy AP and modify it for my kids like that cute Japanese girl. Lolita looks best on child proportions anyway, like 8 - 15 years is probably ideal. I'd just twin and do mother-child coordinates with my kids. It would be nice if there were some other loli-mamas around and we could do lolita play dates. Going to go full Victorian and go for a vintage pram and victorian baby dress and the works.

2/2

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:39:35 2015 No.8365840

>>8365833
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Another mod and I both have kids. Plus 4 or 5 members that i know of. Though i do believe my co-mod and i are the most active. Nobody cares. We don't bring our kids to stuff. I brought my baby once to a casual lunch, but she's the quietest most chill baby ever to the point that sometimes i forget she's with me. if don't have a babysitter i don't go to meets. i have had several people ask to bring my kid but if I'm spending my whole time making sure shes happy then i won't have as much fun and that defeats the purpose of a meet.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
Lolita is my daily clothing to begin with. When i was pregnant i still wore Lolita, and now that i have a kid i still do. The only thing that has changed its that because I'm still breastfeeding i spend the majority of my time topless while I'm at home. Lolita isnt practical for that shit. I don't wear wigs as often either because my daughter loves to hang of my hair when i carrier and last thing i need is her to pull my wig off when we're trying to buy groceries. As far as dressing her lolita, we've found a few cute vintage Lolitaesque dresses that we have bought and are playing the waiting game for her to grow into them. I have also made her a dress and bonnet set that she wore to a con that we went to a few months back. Plus out course we have the typical little girl dresses that are frilly and poofy that she wears all the time too, but those are just normal baby clothes anyways. Not going to lie though I'd love it if she wore lolita when she was older and i was able to pass down my older rare/coveted pieces.

2/2

sieg heil !szTe0VDR1w Sat May 30 12:43:40 2015 No.8365845

>>8365828
obviously, it's fiscally wise for a woman to get married. You only stand to gain financially in the case of divorce. which is over 50% chance today.

but enough bridesmaid dresses and baby showers and your friends slowly excluding you/talking down to you for not having children

~life before having children just seems so petty to me now~

and bio clocks start ticking because

"all the cool kids have kids, i want one too! to be in that crowd"

also it's tribe think, rest of the tribe thinks X before event X

rest of the women want X as a status symbol

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:43:51 2015 No.8365846 >>8365836 There is the cutest vintage pram at my local antique store for $200 and i want it so bad but it's quite large and i have no room for it. I make up for it by buying vintage clothing for my baby

Anonymous Sat May 30 12:46:06 2015 No.8365849

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Pregnancy has always fascinated me so yes
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have?
I would at the earliest have kids about 24, but ideally maybe 28? I would rather be a young mother than an old mother
How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I'd want to be earning a good salary first, but aside from lolita I don't spend much money so I'm not sure.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
I feel a lot of modern women put their careers first but I live in a suburban area so most women are mothers
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
My local comm has a woman who brings her girls to meets. The youngest is 8 and the oldest is about 14, and they all wear lolita.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
If I am still wearing lolita when I have kids, I don't think I would stop. I doubt I would wear lolita when pregnant or around a small baby

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:49:29 2015 No.8365854 >>8365825 I've already had an abortion due to birth control failure. I'm not fucking around here, I really could not deal with pregnancy and do not want a kid. Thankfully my boyfriend of almost four years agrees. 4/10 for making me respond.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:50:48 2015 No.8365857 >>8365816 Nope, Texas.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 30 12:55:27 2015 No.8365870 >>8365845 I love it when neckbeards think they know how women work from only having heard dead old tropes, they always go with >but m-muh biological clock whenever they try to console themselves for ending up alone

Anonymous Sat May 30 18:22:15 2015 No.8366331

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
No, but who knows how I feel ten years from now.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
My sister is severely autistic/has a-typical retts syndrome and I don't want to risk that being a genetic factor that passes over and having to deal with that burden. Basically, I don't want to end up in my parents' position. They've had to sacrifice so much of themselves and probably have many sleepless nights worrying about it. I'd be so worried about fucking up somehow. Kids aren't on my bucket list of life accomplishments.
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have?
If I decided to have kids, I'd probably have them in my mid-late 30s when my life is more established.
>How would you afford it?
With my job. I could easily afford to now.
>Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
You kind of have to.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live?
No, I don't think parents are looked down upon anywhere, unless you're some negligent or abusive piece of shit.
>How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
It's mixed as to whether my friends want kids or not. My family don't care what I decide to do, in fact my mother has told me not to have children.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
I'm not in a lolita comm.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other?
Maybe when the kid is a bit older.
>Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I found a cute blog of a Japanese mother and child who dress in otome. Very cute!

Anonymous Sat May 30 18:49:01 2015 No.8366377 [DELETED]

>>8365637
>What are your stances on motherhood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Freshly minted mom with a one week old here.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I'm 25, and I was hoping to have children around this time. The wrench in the gears is that I'm not finished with school, but I think I can manage it. Hubby and I have some savings that will get us through to till he can get a stable job. And yes, going to be sacrificing lots of free time and money, but it's worth it.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Nope, although sometimes there's that whole "they popped out of a baby for government money" bit people bitch about.

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
There's a couple. One brought her lively but well behaved five year old to a meet before (hosted at someone's house). But she did not bring her out to a meet at a local market. I know another mentioned selling much of her lolita to buy things for her baby but she's slowly getting back into it.

1/2

Anonymous Sat May 30 18:49:10 2015 No.8366378

>>8365637
>>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
No.
>>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
I have a health disorder that would make gestation a risk for both the child and for me. It was a sort of a shock at first when the doctor told me at 20, since across many cultures it's considered a tragedy/selfish if you never have kids, but then I realized this was better for me anyway since I wanted to travel the world instead. I like kids, but the idea of raising one (even via adoption) makes me have a headache. I'd be way too strict on them in education, and I'd stress them and myself out. Also, my husband hates kids. We got him a vasectomy.
>>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Unless you're a mother who looks underage, no.

>>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
There is one mother who has a toddler. He's fine and well-behaved, and she always asks in advance whether he can come along for meets. He's nice but it's not always clear-cut whether the location is exactly child-friendly. Also, not all meet organizers are comfortable about liability issues in case the kid gets hurt/lost during the meet.

>>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
While I'm not planning on becoming a mother myself, I would definitely be up to buying Bodyline's children dresses for the kids of close friends. Instead of being a mother, I'd like to be the cooky aunt who always looks fabulous.

Anonymous Sat May 30 18:59:57 2015 No.8366400

>>8365637
>What are your stances on motherhood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Freshly minted mom with a one week old here.
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I'm 25, and I was hoping to have children around this time. The wrench in the gears is that I'm not finished with school, but I think I can manage it. Hubby and I have some savings that will get us through to till he can get a stable job. And yes, going to be sacrificing lots of free time and money, but it's worth it.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Nope, although sometimes there's that whole "they popped out of a baby for government money" bit people bitch about.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
There's a couple. One brought her lively but well behaved five year old to a meet before (hosted at someone's house). But she did not bring her out to a meet at a local market. I know another mentioned selling much of her lolita to buy things for her baby but she's slowly getting back into it.

My comm has a very, very positive view on kids. I've seen all sorts of complaints on here about kids at meets, many well justified and the result of bad decisions or shitty moms being shitty (crying infants in museums, letting unbehaved kids run around and touch everyone's dresses, going to a picnic and letting a baby stew in a shitty diaper for hours etc.) I was kinda hesitant about how my comm would react to my (then future) baby. 1/2

Anonymous Sat May 30 19:01:09 2015 No.8366403

>>8366400
But the second I announced I was pregnant I got an outpouring of "omg will you bring her to meets???!!!" and babysitting offers and girls telling me they want to make me loliable baby blankets. So that was really sweet of them and a nice surprise. While she's really little I'm going to play it by ear, but I don't want to bring her somewhere where it isn't appropriate. For example, in a month and a half someone is hosting a meet at their house. It's kind of a big deal for them so I don't want to bring the baby there and steal attention or cause problems with the baby being fussy and feeding/changing her. If it won't be possible to have her stay with her dad, I'll skip out on it. If it's going to be a picnic at a park it probably wouldn't be too much of a problem.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable as long as it's within your means. It would be irresponsible to put a hobby above your children. I'm stepping it down for sure. I don't have much of a wardrobe but I'm not buying anything for a while. I might allow some fabric or small things like accessories since the former allows me to be productive and the latter won't be a huge expense, but I want to focus on my baby. I can recycle coords, no big deal. I can expand my wardrobe when the baby is bigger and I have a good job and better budget. Also lolita is great alone time to recharge from taking care of the baby, so while I'll be skipping a lot of meets this summer I'll definitely make sure to enjoy them later when I have more opportunity to be away.

and hell yes I'm dressing my kid in lolita. I'm going to make her matching dresses so we can "twin" haha. Of course, once she's old enough to decide whether she wants to dress up with me or not the choice is hers alone. 2/2

Anonymous Sat May 30 19:10:20 2015 No.8366420

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I don't want children, now or ever. Don't like them, either. However if someone wants to have them then... okay, I don't really care.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
I prefer to have my freedom. There are more important things in life, to me, than having children. I am in my late 20s and so many of my friends have turned into completely different people after having children, their entire identities are centered around motherhood. It's all they can talk about. I don't want that to happen to me.

Also I'm really not cut out for parenthood. And the earth is overpopulated enough as it is.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Nope. I've never heard of being a mother as something to be looked down upon where I live. In fact I've had plenty of people looking down on me for not wanting children.

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Yep. I've never personally met them, but from what I have seen they've not brought any kids to meets. I frankly find it a bit creepy when people dress up their children in lolita but that's an unpopular opinion of mine.

Anonymous Sat May 30 19:37:20 2015 No.8366446

>Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Not really. There are some times when I think "maybe having kids would be kind of fun" but then I look at a drooling, puking, pooping infant and I go "you know what? nvm"
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Kids are disgusting and expensive and I'd rather not waste 18 years of my life trying to raise a little person that might just turn around and say "fuck you mom, I'm gonna snort cocaine and join a gang"
>Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
This is why I don't want to have kids.
>How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
In my lolita community? Idk, most of the girls are like 18-22, I don't think they're ready to start thinking about kids. In my community of normalfag coworkers and classmates? I think some of them want to have kids when they're like 30 and self-supporting but idk.
>Are there any mothers in your local community?
There's one girl in my comm who has kids but I've only seen her at a meetup once or twice. She seems like she tries really hard and she's probably a good mom but I get the feeling that she's kind of isolated from doing the stuff that most adults do at her age because she's stuck watching her kids all the time. She posted "there's nothing like having a good cry" this one time on facebook and I don't really think it's a good idea to advertise that you're an emotional trainwreck.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I don't want to have kids because I feel like having kids ruins your ability to go out and do social things. There are these people in my grad program who took their infant son to a wine-tasting event with them and I feel like it made them look like irresponsible people desperately clinging to their youth and trying to seem cool.

Anonymous Sun May 31 08:45:38 2015 No.8367435

>>8365637
>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I'm still on the fence. I do want to have kids but I'm not sure if I am up to the commitment. I need a bit more growing up to do before I can truly decide.
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children... etc.
In this regard I have it all planned out. my child birthing age range is between 29 and 32. maybe 2 children. I plan to have my career in order by this time so hopefully free time and money won't be an issue. I will hopefully be working from home most of the time so I can spend a lot of time raising my children and being with them.
>Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
Yes and no. It all depends on how the grand plan goes but in all honestly I will not sacrifice my hobbies and things I enjoy unless I have too. If I do have to sacrifice these things then I don't think I should even consider having children because I'm not in the right place for it. I know that you must be very selfless to have children, and I am; but I shouldn't have to give up my life because well, I'm a person too.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? etc.
Being a stay at home mother is both frowned upon and applauded. The older generation still see's it as an expectation, while my generation views it as very 'anti-feminist'.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? etc.
The mothers in my comm handle it well, we like it best if they remove their child from lolita as best they can. We aren't babysitters and the kid ends up being a third wheel.
>How would motherhood influence etc.
I won't give up lolita for anything unless in the future I just became disinterested in it. As soon as I would be able I will be stepping out in lolita with my newborn in a frilly carriage. If my kids are interested I would encourage them to wear lolita, ouji or aristocrat. I'm an excellent sewer so their wardrobe will be fab.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 08:52:06 2015 No.8367438 >>8366446 Having a good cry does not imply that you're an emotional trainwreck, just that you've had a bad day. Then again you sound like a Brit, showing emotions is probably haram to you people.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 08:56:23 2015 No.8367444 Shit, I'm 22 and just now I've realised that people have children at my age. I'm old and already feel like I've missed out on my youth.

Anonymous Sun May 31 09:07:37 2015 No.8367452

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I don't really mind, I'm not good with kids but I don't think I have any rights to judge anyone else's choices. And no, I don't want children myself.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
I'm somewhat mentally unstable, and I don't want to bring a kid into the mess that is myself. Hell, if I ever end up having a kid I'd push them onto the father if we separate just to make sure they'll be in a healthy environment.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Most of the people in my comm doesn't care either. Everyone agree that they don't want small children present at tea parties (something that stirred up quite the discussion with mothers that thought we were anti-children because of this) but they are welcome at regular meet-ups. I can't really speak for my whole country, but I think people don't really care whether you are a mother or not here, as long as the kid is safe and healthy everyone's ok.
(1/2)

Anonymous Sun May 31 09:08:50 2015 No.8367453

>>8367452
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
We have a few mothers in the comm, they don't involve their children in lolita though, and even have separate accounts on FB for their lolita hobby so they keep the children separated from it until they're old enough to choose whether they want to be part of it or not. They're pretty respected in our comm for being a bit older and doing this.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I would do like the mothers in our comm do - separate my life as a mother from my hobby life until the children are old enough to understand what lolita is and if they want to try it out. While it is not a complicated hobby it would still be hard for a small child to grasp.

Anonymous Sun May 31 10:27:36 2015 No.8367534

>24
>some people at my age are married and have kids
>while i'm still a virgin beta femanon
>i hate kids
Positive thing is i wont sacrifice my youth for growing up kids, a puppy or a kitten is a better choice and less expenses.
>would get a puppy later and dress her in lolitable clothes and bunny ears outfits

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 10:39:14 2015 No.8367546 >>8367444 Me too. You're not alone in that. It's terrible.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 11:03:45 2015 No.8367576 >>8367444 >22 >old Atleast wait until you're borderline 30 before you start complaining about how 'old' you are.

Anonymous Sun May 31 12:28:07 2015 No.8367701

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I'm solidly childfree, but have no problems with children or motherhood as a concept. I just know it's not for me.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Phobia of pregnancy, no desire to be a parent.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
N/A

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
It's very normal--it's more abnormal to not want kids. My family has grudgingly come to terms with my desire to never have children. My local comm is totally fine with it, and are probably the most supportive.

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
We have several! Most of them keep their kids separate unless it's a picnic or park meetup, which is fine. There is one that was bringing her baby everywhere when the baby was super tiny, which was annoying (strollers are too big for tiny crepe shops) bit now that her kid is bigger she gets a sitter and comes alone.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I'm not having kids myself, but a good Lolita friend of mine has two, and she dresses them in colors that match her coords sometimes, which is cute. I think that level of "Lolita parenting" is reasonable and cute.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:33:21 2015 No.8369098

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?

Yes, my husband and I plan to have kids soon.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?

Probably around 28-30 after I do some traveling to other countries. It's harder to travel with children.

My husband and I plan to have at least one, maybe two children. He's in the Navy and I will be going to school to become a nurse, so we will be financially stable.

Of course I would sacrifice my free time and money on a family since we do plan to have children.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?

No, not at all.

My friends/family/locals don't care, I don't know why they would?

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.

No, they don't have any kids that I know of (I certainly hope they don't because the majority of my comm is still in high school. I'm 24 and I feel so god damn old whenever they talk about high school shit).

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?

It wouldn't really affect me wearing lolita because I only wear it for special occasions. I would still wear it for a while, even after I have children. If they want to dress up too, I would let them- I want it to be their choice.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:22:17 2015 No.8369171

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?

I think it's honestly a waste of time unless it's some aspiration of yours to be a mother.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?

I think it ruins people's personalities. It's definitely a biological thing. Once someone has a kid, the world encircles the kid and they never go back to being who they once were before it.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?

Younger or older is irrelevant. You shouldn't have children period until you're financially stable. I wouldn't sacrifice time and money, but rely on close family.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?

I'd say both my comm and local community just wouldn't care.

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.

No mothers that I know of, but we have young lolitas show up with their mothers. I was a bit more independent underage and stayed at full weekends at cons with other friends. It's good adult experience to be away from the mom in personal hobbies like lolita.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?

I'm pretty selfish, so I'd still do what I want and no one - kids, partner or family - would get in my way.
I wouldn't dress up my kids in lolita unless they really wanted it. I ironically hated frilly dresses as a kid and wish my own mother would've listened to me then.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:43:31 2015 No.8369197

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?

Nope.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Kids are expensive, the pros far outweigh the cons, the world is overpopulated, I'd wouldn't feel comfortable allowing my children to inherit this shit ass Earth. We've really dun fucked up here, and we all expect our kids to just figure that shit out.

Parenthood is the selfish choice.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?

Only Mombies think motherhood is looked down upon. FFS, people even croon over teenagers having babies where I'm from. "OH THEY MADE THE ADULT DECISION AND DIDN'T KILL THEIR BABY ABLOOBLOO BABEHZ"

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.

idk

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?

If I was ever forced to remain pregnant and denied an abortion I would do everything in my power to abort the child myself. Honestly would probably strangle an infant if I ever had to give birth to one.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:43:36 2015 No.8369198

>>8365815
As a mom with a special needs child I can tell you it is absolutely awful. Of course you love your child, but the crushing feeling of what could have been will always weigh on you. At a point it does become "normal" but seeing normal children reminds you it's not. My daughter was born 17 weeks early so I had no idea until the day I had her that my expectations for her would change so much.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:08:08 2015 No.8369233

>>8365733
Oh god I hate people who bring multiple babies into the world only to turn around and abuse them.

The world doesn't need anymore fucked up people creating tons of fucked up children who sometimes grow up into more fucked up people to start the cycle anew.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:15:41 2015 No.8369242

>>8365733
Oh dear I'm so sorry.

I have a coworker who grew up in such an environment. He escaped the rest of his family's fate (his brother is already a grandpa in his 30s), but he had to work very hard and had to distance himself quite a bit from them afterwards.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:47:12 2015 No.8369293

>>8365637
> Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I'm somewhat on the fence, though I am leaning towards not having children at all.

> If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Simply put, I'm too young right now (20 years old), and I'm still in school. Additional reasons: I hate hospitals. Hospitals have lots of medical needles. I'm terrified of medical needles. So there's that. Because of that, adopting children won't be out of the question.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have?
If I'm going to have children at all, it wouldn't happen until I would be in my 30s. I want to do all the things I want to do first as a person (travel the world, become financially secure, etc) before I decide to raise children.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
In the US, it really depends on your age. Of course if you have children in your teenage years or early 20s, people will think you've fucked up. If you have children too old, then people will think that you're slow or that you're going to damage yourself somehow. However, I feel like not being a mother at all is looked down upon the most. People tend to think that you're "selfish" for not reproducing your own spawn. The way I see it, though, I'm not contributing to an already overpopulated earth with decreasing resources.

> Are there any mothers in your local community?
No.

> How would motherhood influence your lolita life?
Assuming that I'm still in lolita when I decide to have children, I would give the first year or two of motherhood, starting from the child's birth, a test run. If I find that lolita is too physically and financially impractical when raising my child, then I'll leave the fashion.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:56:45 2015 No.8369300

>>8365637
>What are your stances on mother hood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?

yes i cant wait for it myself

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have?

i want some right now *age 21

> How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your free time and money on a family?

:$ i already have a lot of free time

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live?
no

>How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
idk

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they separate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.

no longer in a comm dont know

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life?

not sure?

>Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?

yes they can go hand in hand.i cant step down anymore than i already have

i want my girls to wear lolita when i think they are mature enough to take care of it. maybe start em off with some bodyline or something see how well they take care of that, then move on to..
i want a babby so bad. i hate seeing pregnant women. they are all automatic bitches to me

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:01:28 2015 No.8369306 >>8369300 this has to be bait

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:04:13 2015 No.8369310 >>8369197 >What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day? Nope. sometimes i am jelly of people non desire for kids. wanting them and not being able to hurts

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:07:26 2015 No.8369317 >>8369306 look, i know alot of people dont think like me anymore i am old fashioned in some ways a wannabe 50s housewife serve ya man dinner while he plays vida type gal

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:10:36 2015 No.8369323 >>8369310 Adopt, there are so many kids out there that need a home. I literally have 0 sympathy for you.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:17:05 2015 No.8369329 >>8369323 its not the same i wanna have the pregnant experience. i dont want a broken kid made with someone else dna fuk off i didnt ask for sympathy

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:25:26 2015 No.8369337 >>8367576 Sure mate but it's different when you've spent your youth watching Mongolian cartoons and making zero friends, not having a single job, only getting your first bf at 20

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:27:05 2015 No.8369341 File: 23 KB, 500x500, kidsbelly.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8369329

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:30:16 2015 No.8369347 >>8369317 More like your post implies you are in no way mature enough to have a child.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:32:41 2015 No.8369351 >>8365811 kek

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:40:55 2015 No.8369365 >>8369341 lol my stomach already has marks

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:41:56 2015 No.8369367 >>8369347 why is that?

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 04:06:01 2015 No.8369397

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl?
Do it if you want to; don't if you don't. I don't think that it's a life requirement by any means.
Aspire to? I don't think I'd say I aspire to it--I do like the idea of having a small family (one or two kids) with my fiance.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? etc

I'm 25 now and will likely have my first at 26 or 27. I'd wait longer, but my guy is already 36 and I don't want to be putting someone through college while having my spouse retire, you know? I am not sacrificing my hobbies for children though. Either I get help with childcare (or I'm not the main childcare), or no kids. As for affording it...he has a full time job with benefits and I'm on track to getting one too. We will, if we budget right, be able to afford a kid or two, a house, and our hobbies. Also a motorcycle.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live?

No. It's respected. Unless you talk to the academics in my department. ...they can fuck right off, though.

>Are there any mothers in your local community?

I can think of exactly one and she's in her late 40s or early 50s. Her two daughters are adults, so...not really the same as parents with young children.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life?

I don't like babies. I don't like people bringing their babies around me, especially in places where I thought it was just adults and a chance to hang out with friends. Plus, when they're that young, I will have leaky titties. So for that time period I'd either bow out of most meets OR they'd be pretty casual and I'd find childcare. Other than that, I'll be as involved or more-so (because when I have a kid, it means I have cashmonies). While they're young I'm intending to dress them cute, but after that I'm not gonna make them wear anything they don't like. Except clothes. No streaking toddlers allowed.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 04:55:11 2015 No.8369444 >>8369329 nobody cares about your creepy pregnancy fetish

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 05:21:24 2015 No.8369459 >>8369444 dum cunt

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 05:22:21 2015 No.8369462

1/2

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I do want to have a kid, but even just thinking about the pain and effort just to give birth really puts me off. Then I'm scared that I won't be a good mother, that I'm not able to teach them the qualities that society appreciates (ie intelligence, empathy)
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I'd want to have my kid at around 25, because I really want to be an active mum. Probably just 1, but 2 maximum, since I'm a second child and I was always super jealous of anyone else who got my mum's attention.
I'd want to have a stable job and be married to a partner who also had a steady job and income. Maybe take a year off work, but then I guess I'd be straight back in, and let my parents / partner's parents take care of the child. I'm a big believer of the 'system' so I'd like to put my child into childcare / kindergarten as soon as they're able.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Not really, as some other anon said, it's only if you can't afford it and still insist on having like 9 kids.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 05:25:05 2015 No.8369465

>>8369462
2/2

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Yes, there are a few but most of them are the aforementioned mums with 4 kids in tow and looking like they can't afford to buy quality lolita much less brand. They're not viewed very positively at all, especially when they don't look like they're well off at all. These women especially try to bring their kids to meets and such, though I think our comm is pretty good with rejecting children at meets so I'm yet to actually see a kid at a meet
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I think I'd still wear it, but since I wear classic / gothic any way, it won't be as weird as sweet might get. I would most definitely let my kid wear lolita/ouji/street fashion if they chose to, but I wouldn't make them wear it

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 05:28:38 2015 No.8369468 File: 80 KB, 540x404, stap.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8369329 > wanting them and not being able to hurts > fuk off i didnt ask for sympathy lmao

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:11:04 2015 No.8369491

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl?
Planning on getting pregnant after I finished my degree and worked for 1 or 2 years, but this seems so soon I might wait a little longer and enjoy child-free life a little longer.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have?
At least two kids (one would just get spoiled) and maybe a third, not sure about this one. Ideal age would be 26-28 years old.

>Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
Well I'd have to, wouldn't I? I want to try and get back in my job asap, depending on my job I might start working home-office more. Luckily my boyfriend earns enough to support a family so everything I earn is extra money we can save until I have to stop working.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live?
Somehow, yes a little. Nobody will openly say it, but choosing career over motherhood seems desirable in my country even when our birth rates are low. If you're not old enough and have no education you're viewed as a slut and bad mom.

>How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
I don't have a comm so I don't care about this part. My family will be happy if I get kids after I got my degree. My mom is probably the most terrified, because she can't deal with being a grandparent yet.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life?
I'm already transitioning to Otome/casual j-fashion and if I don't quit lolita completely I'll probably wear it occasionally to go to the movies or a restaurant. But I doubt I'll be into lolita the way I am now once I hit the age to get pregnant.

> Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
If I get a daughter I will paint her walls pastel pink, get her all kinds of cutesy stuff and dress her up like a frilly little princess until she is old enough to tell me to stop.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:23:53 2015 No.8369502

I have a question for those who write "The planet is already overpopulated.".

Like, do you really care about this or is it just an convenient excuse to not have children?
I mean, you probably don't give enough of a shit to recycle, only buy fair-trade and buy luxury lolita goods that are probably made in low-paying sweat-shops. So, why suddenly care what happens to this planet due to our population? It's not like I judge people who don't want kids, feel free to not have them, but this statement just reeks of hypocrisy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:35:57 2015 No.8369513 I already have a little girl. I'm 25, and gave up lolita when I got pregnant. I miss it, but having a beautiful family is so much better.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:40:47 2015 No.8369572

>>8365807
If you want to have kids, but dont want to give birth, you can always adopt. I've always been pretty dead set against having biological kids for a large number of reasons, so thats what I did. The adoption process isn't even a fraction as hard as people think, especially if you're not stupidly picky about your kid. My fiancé and I were placed with a birth mother within less than six months because we said we didn't care about race or gender.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:45:28 2015 No.8369582 >>8369502 Do you even realise that people can care about one thing more than the other? Besides, I do care, immensely. And since I can't stop Fatima and Mohammed from spawning 11 little suicide bomber welfare queens, I might as well start with myself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:35:20 2015 No.8369714 >>8369582 Thank god you don't wanna procreate.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:45:20 2015 No.8369725

>>8369502
I actually care. I don't want children myself, and that isn't the reason why, but the planet truly is over populated by people. I'm really worried about nature, the environment, the health of the earth overall, and while I souldn't tell someone they could never have a kid because of it, anyone who has more than one or two kids is being irresponsible about the fact there's already too many people on the planet.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:48:46 2015 No.8369729

I have a three month old girl we adopted. I make a lot of money, so having the baby itself didn't affect my lolita spending, but we just bought a house that we decided to rape our savings by paying off immediately, instead of taking out a mortgage. So, my extra spending is very much cut for our first year here, though I can still get a few brand dresses and accessories a month if I don't indulge my other costly hobbies. I don't really have plans to dress her up in lolita, but she is already living the kawaii life. Her nursey is princess themed and decked out in Sailor Moon, Sanrio, and Disney shit. She even has a castle crib. As for family/comm/friends reaction, it was mostly very positive. It was pretty shocking for everyone because we waited until after we were placed with a birth mother to even tell anyone we filed for adoption. Very few people knew, our parents not being among them. There was one other girl in the comm with a baby, but she didn't come to meets much. No one had a problem with her, though.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:48:48 2015 No.8369730

>stances on mothermood? Do you aspire to have kids?
It's not something for everyone. For some people having children is the highlight of their life. For others, it might not be. I've never liked babies. I do like children to a degree, but I feel like maybe I wouldn't be the best mother. If I ended up with children, I'd probably do the best I could but it's not something I'm planning for.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
Money, the way this world is, drain on life and aspirations in general. I don't feel the need to reproduce when there's a lot of children without parents out there.

>ideal age, ideal amount of kids, money, etc:
If I were to have kids, I'd have to do it soon. Ideally? One maybe two. Money, we could probably comfortably afford it now, but it would be a drain on free time, no more trips and doing things I'd like to really do for at least a few years.

>Is being a mother being looked down, How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Country/local: Expected, especially after marriage. Also expected with most people I know. With my local comm, there are people who have children, want children, and don't want children.

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
>We have a few. One is young and wears lolita fairly often. She doesn't bring her child to meets and I've only seen pictures of her online. I'm not sure of the others, but I never really see any kids at meets.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
>I'd probably keep a few pieces, but sell a majority of my wardrobe because childcare, healthcare, needing things for babies, etc. I'm not sure if I would continue with it or not.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:49:41 2015 No.8369733 >>8369725 that should say WOULDN'T.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 12:10:08 2015 No.8369945 >>8369502 I actually do care and you don't know anything about me, so I don't really get the point of this post. And it seems awfully judgy to me, anon.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:37:35 2015 No.8370964

>>8369725
Exactly how I feel.
Unless you're somehow cursed with triplets/quadruplets/and large multiple birth quantities, you really shouldn't be Duggaring it up. It's 2015. We're nowhere near in danger of dying in our thirties anymore or dying of easily preventable diseases.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:05:35 2015 No.8372483
File: 232 KB, 640x480, ok.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8369341
Having a kid doesn't necessarily mean your body is going to go to shit. That's a personal choice. If your lazy after pregnancy, yeah, you're gonna look like a nasty blob. However, if you stay active, you'll look fine.

I have a son, and I weigh less now than I did before my son and my stomach is flat. So, if you see an out of shape mom, don't blame it on pregnancy. Blame it on laziness. Which, I don't even get how you can be lazy whilst having a kid. Chasing a kid around is exercise in itself.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:25:54 2015 No.8372519

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Yep. I have one.
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
I was 24 when i got married and had my baby. It was the perfect age for me. I wanted 2 kids, but 1 is best for my family. My husband makes good money so I can devote my time to raising our son.
I sacrifice most of my time to be a good mother, but I make time for myself and my husband too.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
No, not really. Everyone is really supportive of my choice.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
I don't know about any other mothers.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I still wear lolita, more now that we can afford it better. It's part of me and what I love, having a family doesn't mean abandoning the things I love. I do not dress my kid up. It's not practical for one and two it's my hobby, not his.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:31:02 2015 No.8372522 >>8369714 Just for that I'm gonna get knocked up as soon as tonight ;)

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:46:37 2015 No.8372537

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I want a couple of em, sooner or later. Not quite ready yet.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
The only downside is I forsee a time not too far off when I'm going to have to put my immediate desires aside for the needs or desires of my kid. Maybe when that time comes I won't mind but for now, I think it sucks a little.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
30. That's when my mom had me. My husband and I are planning on relocating to a cheaper place to live, so I can stay home full time & possibly homeschool our kids.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
No, it's normal, standard American attitude. On the other hand, my family doesn't understand why I want to give up my job. I might want to do freelance work if I have the time, but I think I can provide as much for my family by running the household, caring for our children, and smoothing the bumps in my husband's life so he can focus on work. He really really loves his job and I'm just so/so on it. I make decent money at my job and have good benefits but that's about it. I don't love it, it doesn't make me happy.
.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:47:50 2015 No.8372540

>>8372537

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Yes but not many. The one I know closely is very highly respected. She only just had her kid less than a year ago but all of us look forward to when her kid is old enough to dress up and maybe sooner or later more of us will have kids and we can do mommy & me meetups.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I will probably try to instill my kids with enough fashion sense to dress themselves one day and to like wearing nice clothing, but I'm going to try hard not to force my own tastes on them. I plan on keeping my Lolita closet & my collection of odds and ends away from my children until they are old enough to treat the objects respectfully. We'll see how that goes though

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 14:20:10 2015 No.8372570

>What are your stances on motherhood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
No. Motherhood isn't for me.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
The only antidepressant that works for me causes severe birth defects and when I'm not medicated my depression is so bad I can't function at all. I'd never really wanted to have kids myself, but I have friends and a sister who have/are planning to have kids so I get to spoil their kids and be the aunt who always takes them to Disney and do all the fun stuff with kids without having to actually be a parent.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
It's the Bible Belt South so it varies. But I've learned that it's the stupidest thing that we require a license to adopt a dog but anybody with functioning sex organs can have a child, no qualifications or home check needed.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
To my knowledge, there are no mothers in my comm.
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
It would depend on what my situation was (hypothetically, obviously). I don't think I'd dress a kid up to match me but that's mostly because kids aren't fashion accessories.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 14:24:47 2015 No.8372576

>>8369341
idk mang my mother had three kids and at 50 she has a flat stomach. Of course she's barely got wrinkles and all that and most people guess her to be later thirties/early forties so good genetics will play a part.

My daughter is two weeks old. I look flabby but I do not have a single belly stretchmark (funnily enough I have some on my butt and thighs from before I got pregnant, but they're the very faint silvery kind).

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 21:07:25 2015 No.8373709

>>8365637
>What are your stances on motherhood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
I definitely wouldn't say I aspire to it, but it's something I consider a possibility one day. If I was heterosexual I would consider it fairly likely that I'd have kids (I'm good with kids anyway), but I'm a lesbian so it'd take a bit more planning and involve more difficulties. I would consider adoption, probably at a later age to when I'd like to give birth.
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
I honestly think it's better for children to have a parent stay at home with them until they're at least 3 or 5 (after that, they're at least in school for a lot of the day so you can work part-time, and they can go to clubs and activities after school). The government in my country keep dropping the age at which you have to start seeking work after having a child too. Taking 5+ years out would wreck my career. A lot of women nowadays seem to manage work by making extensive use of grandparents as free childcare, or being rich enough to pay for a child minder, but I don't have access to either and I live miles away from any family support (and I'd like to be able to bond with my own child rather than having to leave them once my maternity leave runs out). I would have to be in a very stable relationship with a partner who we could work out some arrangement with to be able to navigate all this. Ideally, rather than me being a stay-at-home mother and setting back my career a lot, or working full-time not seeing the child at all, we could both working part-time so there was always someone with the child. This is all difficult logistically - I'm not even in a LTR. Besides all that, I don't really feel like having children is my ultimate goal in life, and I could be happy being single forever.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 21:16:30 2015 No.8373735

>>8373709
>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have?
Mid to late twenties if I was giving birth myself, but I'd happily adopt in my thirties. No idea how many children.
>How would you afford it?
I'd get some degree of state child benefits etc, and should ideally have a good job.
>Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?
Yes of course, otherwise why have children at all? If you're going to be self-centred you're a shit parent.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
No, not at all. But it's probably viewed more negatively in my comm, since they're all young unattached single women who make constant jokes about having no idea how2adult. They can't conceive how anyone manages being responsible, and why you'd want to lose out on disposable income. Not that I'm painting myself as superior - I'm a 20something who spends almost all my disposable income on a fashion hobby myself, but I just know I might not in the future.
>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
No.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 21:17:31 2015 No.8373738

>>8373735
>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before?
I think I'd step down a little, and step out of the community, but keep the clothes I already owned (or at least my favourite clothes). Lolita clothes aren't at all practical to wear while looking after kids, so I couldn't wear it often, but I don't see anything wrong with going to meetups as a bit of "me" time. I wouldn't spend all my income on brand releases (or follow brand releases at all), but I don't think I'd completely quit.
>Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
Nope. A kid isn't a fashion accessory, and they should be able to run and play without worrying. Plus if they take after me they'll probably be super tomboyish. I'd have no problems getting a kid a cute special occasion dress or party dress or something to dress up in, but they grow way too fast and make way too much mess for it to be viable day-to-day. I wouldn't buy anything expensive and delicate for a kid anyway though, so if they did end up wanting to wear their princess dress ALL THE TIME (my little sister did that with a fairy outfit as a kid), I'd roll with it.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 22:07:29 2015 No.8373876

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Absolutely, that's my main aspiration.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your free time and money on a family?
I plan on being a stay at home mom/wife so most of my free time would be spent on my children/husband anyway. I would probably just save up my own money or handmake items for my children. If I bought anything it would probably be Bodyline or F+F

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Eeh, to an extent. I live in the southern US so there's a lot of traditional values but with the whole feminist movement going on lately it's sometime looked down upon as not being ambitious or being lazy or dependent on men. That's really the only thing that makes me hesitant.
My dad wants me to be able to take care of myself so I don't end up like his mother (working well into her 70s since my grandpa divorced her a long time ago). My mom is a housewife so she doesn't mind. I don't have a local comm so that doesn't matter.

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they separate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
Like I said, no local comm. :/ I'm also in my early 20s so almost everyone I know doesn't have kids yet.

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?
I don't see why they would clash. It could be viewed as another activity between mother and daughter (or son, if he wants to). Of course I would only dress them up if they were okay with it.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 22:17:27 2015 No.8373896

>Do you aspire to have kids one day?

Absolutely not. I would be an awful mother, and I am horrible with children. I really don't like me and they freak me out.

>If no, what are the reasons for your position?

I don't like children, I'm selfish and most of the goals I have don't line up with having kids. I want to be able to travel freely and spend all my money on me.

>If yes, what would be the ideal age for you to start having children and what would be the ideal amount of kids you want to have? How would you afford it? Would you sacrifice lots your freetime and money on a family?

N/A I feel like if you are going to have kids you should make sacrifices for them. You should be in place you can afford to be with them and they should be you first priority.

>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?

Being a mother isn't looked down on where I live. None of my close friends are too keen on the idea. None of us like kids at all. But I don't hold it against people who do, I won't want to spend time with them and there child.

>Are there any mothers in your local community? How are they being viewed? Do they seperate motherhood from lolita? Do they try to involve their kids in lolita? Share your stories.
I don't have a local community

>How would motherhood influence your lolita life? Do you think lolita and motherhood are reconcilable with each other? Would you abandon it, step down a little or just go on as before? Would you dress up your kids as lolita?

If I had kids- which I won't I would step down. I would maybe keep my favorite coord or a few otome outfits but I'd sell the rest and set it aside for the kids future. It could be the kick start to collage fund or something.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 22:24:37 2015 No.8373915

>>8373876
>My dad wants me to be able to take care of myself so I don't end up like his mother (working well into her 70s since my grandpa divorced her a long time ago).
Yes, please be careful anon. Sieg heil may say that women benefit from divorce cases, but getting divorced after you've had no job for 15+ years makes it super hard to get back into the labour market and near-impossible to work up to a decent job again, even with a college degree. My mother has a degree from the most prestigious university in my country, but after she spent like 8 years not working to have kids (3 kids staggered two years apart each), then another few years only able to work part-time, then got divorced by my dad, her career was fucked. Going back into the labour market after 8 years as a housewife then another few only working as a part-time receptionist was very difficult. The degree just made people suspicious of why she was applying for lower-paid employment in the first place, but graduate jobs wouldn't employ her because of the wage gap. When her and my dad split on bad terms, she was earning 13k/year working two jobs and he was earning 70k, even though she got a much better degree and had a better job when she first graduated.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 22:25:53 2015 No.8373919 >>8373915 *work gap not wage gap, I meant the long time she spent not working

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 22:35:51 2015 No.8373949

>>8372483
Im allready smaller now then i was before my kid, but my skin is still sort of streched out. Hoping it will go back to normal with time. Its only been 3 months but it's allready better now then it was when i first had my baby. Im not excersizing as much as id like to now since my life is dictated on whether or not i need to whip out my tits or not, but i figure as the kid gets older and doesnt need my boob [me] as much i can leave her with her dad longer so i can have my work out time since i live across the street from the gym.

Its nice being a size M again. The last time i was this small i was still in high school, and I have a ton of lolita and cosplay shit on my wishlist i can wear now. I wish i knew what a could do to get my belly skin back to normal, or at least more normal then it is now.

Anonymous Wed Jun 3 00:14:20 2015 No.8374160

>>8373949
Your stomach should flatten out with time, depending on how active you are. I was chubby and flabby in the stomach for a couple months post pregnancy, but after I picked up a fairly labor intensive job I started dropping the weight. I'd say at about 6 months post pregnancy I had fully bounced back, and got a flat stomach going.

With marks that takes time, but they do fade, especially if you take care of your skin. Just know that with time and good habits, your body will bounce back. It's been 3 years since I was pregnant, and I'm prouder of my body then I've ever been. As your child ages you'll come to find that it's easier to do more for yourself, and also more active stuff with them. When your kid can walk, you are gonna be following that kid everywhere. My son plays a large role in how active I am these days.

I can't wait to start adding to my lolita wardrobe. I'm at a point where I can afford some pieces here and there, and I'm far more comfortable with my body than before I was pregnant, so I think I'll actually look alright.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 3 00:16:19 2015 No.8374165 >>8365845 Children are disgusting little troglodytes that smell, are sticky, and suck your wallet dry. Fuck the concept of getting pregnant.

Anonymous Wed Jun 3 00:28:33 2015 No.8374199

>>8372483
>>8373949
>>8374160
>>8372576
true, but your vagina is stretched forever and ever and will never be the same.

there's a reason why in couples with kids the guy gets tired of the woman after a while, almost undoubtedly. He then goes for a nice fresh, tight, not ruined pussy that hasn't had a screaming crotch nugget rip through it.

Pussies that have never birthed a child = pussy master race, even when they get old.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 3 01:04:10 2015 No.8374283 >>8369572 Sounds really good anon! Thanks for telling me about it! I'm still in collage and would probably consider it after I get a stable job and a decent income. Maybe a partner?? But i think id be happy to adopt even without a partner really.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 3 01:05:23 2015 No.8374285 >>8374199 i know you're a troll but no, actually pussies that have had a child will actually get tighter after.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 3 01:18:41 2015 No.8374328 File: 869 KB, 500x298, 1431082046360.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8374199 What a shitty troll.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 3 01:27:23 2015 No.8374350 File: 43 KB, 391x253, goths.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Well, my great-great-great-great-great grandmother is Gothic...

Anonymous Wed Jun 3 02:04:18 2015 No.8374453
File: 112 KB, 458x288, 1373755400856.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>tfw most seagulls' opinions on pregnancy match yours and you don't feel so unnatural anymore.

>What are your stances on mothermood cgl? Do you aspire to have kids one day?
Nope, nope, nope, nope
>If no, what are the reasons for your position?
I don't find babies, toddlers, small children, infants appealing/cute/lovable AT ALL, I feel like I lack a motherly gene or something, plus like stated by other seagulls pregnancy is scary shit.
>Is being a mother being looked down upon in your country/where you live? How is it viewed amongst your friends/family/local community?
Where Im currently residing and working it's almost a pre-requisit to be a mom, like it's so damn frustrating trying to find someone your age that isn't shoving their kids' and/or babies' pictures in your face and talking non-stop about them while you politely smile and wish someone would shoot you.

Anonymous Wed Jun 3 19:26:48 2015 No.8376261

I don't really want children. I'm terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, I'm still young and selfish and want to spend all my money on me. I might adopt in my 30's I guess. I actually really like children. Im an education major actually but I hate babies.

If I do have kids I'll give them all the things I never had. And yes a lot of my money would go towards them.

I don't know any parent Lolita's but it would definitely be difficult. Especially with little kids.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 3 21:06:54 2015 No.8376473 >>8365661 >but your family is forever. Completely false.

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]

/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL