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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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7644337 No.7644337 [Reply] [Original] [rbt]

The old one is auto-saging.
Go on seagulls, let it all out.

>> No.7644345
File: 6 KB, 250x250, 1393638019401s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>tfw when no gf

>> No.7644346
File: 3.26 MB, 1712x4376, FE Sully.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>tfw no Sully gf

>> No.7644347

I just feel like I'm not good enough, in general. I'm not a good enough cosplayer, I'm not good enough for anyone, and I'm feeling especially bummed out about it right now.

But I guess people use this as a drive to further and better themselves, right? I just can't seem to do so right now. I feel pretty terrible.

>> No.7644357

>Tfw you can't post feeling because your friends know you are on cgl

>> No.7644358
File: 199 KB, 600x600, 1403919698922.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

A couple months ago I met a guy on some anime convention, we hit off almost instantly. He's a very sweet and unique guy, although a bit shy and not very social. We exchanged contacts and chatted for about a month until I asked him if he wanted to hang out with me, that's when we had our first date. We're still going out together and everything is fine.

A few days ago I asked him about his past relationships and he said that he never had any, and that he never had sex. He explained in a very mature way that he had gone and still goes through some problems, and said he wanted to be open and sincere with me.

I don't really mind, I never liked the idea of being his first. The problem is that I don't think he'd be ok with my past, he told me that he never wanted to have casual sex, that he never wanted to buy prostitutes like some of his friends do, he even said he turned down sex once because the girl had a boyfriend and he thought it was wrong.
I feel insecure because I've done many of those things, I've had boyfriends, friends with benefits, one night stands, threesomes with men, I even had sex with my married older boss when I was 18 for a raise.

Thankfully he didn't ask about my past, but I don't know what to do if he does. I really don't wanna stop seeing him.

>> No.7644365

Anon, my boyfriend is exactly like you described, and he gives precisely zero fucks about my sexual history (I should say that I never have and never will sleep with someone who's married/in a relationship). If this guy is really as mature as you think he is, he won't stop seeing you as long as you're committed to him and you explain that you don't do those things anymore. As for sleeping with your boss, 18 year olds do dumb shit. It wasn't okay, but he'll probably forgive you.

That said, you don't have to go out of your way to tell him. Just be honest with him and answer any questions he has. He might not ask because he doesn't want to know. And don't lie if he asks you something directly, because that will make it seem like you have something current to hide.

>> No.7644368

He probably won't ask about your history because he doesn't have any and he knows you do since pretty much every girl knows it's OK to have sex these days. But unless your former boss was in a really shitty marriage he couldn't get out of, you deserve to feel like shit for sleeping with a married man just so you could get a raise at Hot Topic or McDonald's or where ever the fuck you were working at as a teenager.

>> No.7644369

I think I could tell him about most things, but I'm not sure I could tell him about what I had with my ex boss.

It'd be much easier to tell him that I've had boyfriends and leave it at that.

>> No.7644373

Yeah, like I said, I've never cheated/been the other person etc so I don't know how I would handle that. (And I certainly don't approve of it, for the record.) But I think it's pretty unlikely that he'll ever ask "So hey have you ever slept with a married man/your boss? Just wondering."

>> No.7644379

Me too, anon. I recently had a sewing project that didn't go nearly as well as i would have liked and it's discouraging me from trying again, even though I know I'll only get better with practice.

>> No.7644408
File: 288 KB, 500x283, giphy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Friend and I used to plan cosplay together
>We also used to go over each other's houses and do crafts or draw
>Go to con and have a good time
>"Hey, anon, let's have an artist alley table next time!"
>We separate for college for a bit
>She comes back
>"Hey, friend, there's a con coming up and I'm just wondering if you like to cosplay like the good ol' days"
>"Anon, anime is for weeaboos and losers. Don't be a weeaboo."
>She develops a "holier than thou" attitude
>If people are going to a con, her tweets will be along the lines of "looks like every weeb and their mom is going to ***con and I don't care"
>Plan to go to finally do artist alley
>"Anon, why are you still doing those weeb things?"
>I finally had it with her and tell her to stop acting like she's better than others
>She deletes from every website we go to and her cell phone
>I lost a friend and I know I can't get another one like her
>I now feel like a horrible person because I didn't keep my mouth shut

>> No.7644409

she sounds like she became a snotty bitch, you're better off. sucks to lose friends, but you'll make other friends who are better.

>> No.7644416

He'll likely never ask as he has no experience whatsoever but you never know how he'll handle finding out some extremely promiscuous sexual events hidden in your past. The kind of ego-shattering, heartbreaking discovery that can forever poison how you view someone.

It's common to meet someone, and try to convince yourself that maybe their sexual history won’t be that bad, and then you find out the gritty details and it wrecks you a little (or a lot). It might leave him feeling inadequate but who knows really, everyone's different. And if you have ever confronted a partner about their sexual past, you probably know how horribly wrong it can go.

>> No.7644418

>This somewhat popular average-tier cosplayer
>Nice at cons and events
>At school she'll start screaming at the teacher if he calls her out on not having her projects done
>I don't like her because I have to listen to her bitch at school every other day
>Doesn't invite her to a party I host
>Everyone thinks I'm being a bitch for not inviting her since I "know her from school too" and is just jelous of her popularity or something

>> No.7644425

The thing is that I'm super shy and I don't know where to find other people that cosplay. There's only one con in my city and all the tickets are sold out and I'm not in college anymore so I can't just waltz into an anime club.

>> No.7644431

>I'm not in college anymore so I can't just waltz into an anime club
Why not?
No, seriously, why not?
I doubt there's anyone you REALLY want to meet at a uni anime club, but there's literally nothing stopping you from attending a couple meetings. I remember a couple older folks (not advisors) always hanging around meetings when I was in uni. One older guy with a beard and some mid-30's fujoshi.

>> No.7644435

Where I live and most of the colleges are guarded by policemen that only let people with ID/actually have business in there in. If I wanted to go in, I would have to know someone who's attending and I can snag a visitor's pass.

>> No.7644441

Can you ghost around the con without having a pass and just meet people in the hallways? Cons in nearby cities? Maybe try forums online, or check if your city has an anime club or some kind of meetup thing unrelated to the university.

>> No.7644457

Are uni anime clubs really that bad for meeting people? My uni hosts a bretty alright anime con (had Dante Basco, Janet Varney, and Jennifer Hale guest this year) and I just don't wanna get my hopes up to find out it's not the type of people I want to exactly meet

>> No.7644469

Well, I don't know how easy it is to ghost the local con because they have those weird RFID passes. The other nearest cons are in the middle of nowhere in another state.

I also considered the city anime meetup group but after looking at the pictures, I don't think I would fit in since everyone looks a tad older. Considering I live in a very big city, I thought this was gonna be easier.

>> No.7644477

>confess to girl
>she tells me she's not looking for a relationship at the moment
>Okay with it and continue being friends
>tspend lots of time together and tellmy her things that I wouldn't tell anyone else
>shes fine with it, not weirded out.
>Falling so head over heels but she probably won't ever date me.

>> No.7644481

you can, depending on the college. we had a guy who no longer attended who still came to our anime club. he just couldn't hold an officer position.
... granted he was super creepy, but...

>> No.7644516

My boyfriend draws hentai for a living and there's this one OC that he's had for quite some time. Recently, I saw a picture of a girl that he told me he was obsessed with in high school for many years. His OC looks almost exactly like her, but he denies that it's based off anyone he knows in real life. I get easily jealous, and I'm worried that maybe he still thinks about her. We've been together for about a year and a half, so I don't know why I'm acting like this. I know he would never cheat...

>> No.7644521
File: 1.59 MB, 1451x1168, You can looseRUFFLE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Today to work towards my goals i have made a chart.
Its kind of ironic that the only thing I have done today is sit on my ass and make a chart, but oh well.
For reference I am 5'8" and I used to be thin..was fat my whole life and finally lost a bunch of weight, then I had a nasty surgery and gained 40 lbs back over the last year.
I need motivation to get off my bum and exercise.
I want to not look like a wale for Ruffle Con.
I want to fit in my AaTP. I will wear midsummer's for ruffle con.
I want to start exercising and feeling good again.
I have stuck to my diet for about a week now, lost 5lbs of water weight.
I haven't seen my extended family since I was thin. I want them to gawk over how thin I am again this xmas.
I just, need to do this. Time to get off my fat ass and set my treadmill back up.

>> No.7644528

>draws hentai for a living
is he any good? as a hobby okay, but for a living?

Chances are he just likes a certain look. The girl he fancied and his OC just has that look. If you think he was cheating, there'd be other signs.

>> No.7644531

>tfw I don't look anything like her
He's okay, he makes about $40,000 a year. It varies though.

>> No.7644534

He might still have feels and not even know it, chances are they're subconscious and only manifesting themselves through the drawing, which is fine. He obviously likes you though, that's why he's with you.

>> No.7644554

Kind of a bummer, but it doesn't mean anything. He's with you, and hopefully he's got enough reason to date people he likes.
Stick to your own image that makes you happy, and play it up, maybe you can get him to expand his preferences.
>end up seeing your boyfriend draw porn images of you
or just don't do anything

>> No.7644563

Who cares if he does? Are they still in contact and does he spend time with her regularly or give you any other reason to worry? If not, just accept that anyone you date is going to still be attracted to other people aside from you. You don't become the only attractive person alive just because you're dating.

>> No.7644565

>just accept that anyone you date is going to still be attracted to other people aside from you.
poor, naive anon.

>> No.7644586

> Post a WTB on LSE
> people keep liking it (why?)
> keep thinking it's a notification about something useful

For fuck's sake please just stop.

>> No.7644593

Thats actually pretty creepy anon

How would you feel if he had an OC that looked like you?

>> No.7644597

You should ask him for an oc that resembles you. That way you'll know

>> No.7644598

>procrastinated 2 months to work on costume
>Con on Thursday
>sewing as fast as I can

>> No.7644601

I want him to be turned on by the physical me, not secretly masturbate to drawings.
Know what?

>> No.7644604

Boyfriend cheated on me with super popular cosplayer. But she didn't know so don't have a legit reason to hate her. But want to hate her.

>> No.7644608

>using LSE
there's your problem. everyone else on that group have an accumulative IQ of sweet potato.

>> No.7644612


I feel bad for the guy, getting massively used goods like you

>> No.7644613

Don't insult sweet potatoes like that

>> No.7644615

Eh, I'm just broadening my field. I posted in the UK and EU groups, as well as the BST. I don't really use the comm sales. I agree the LSE is a bit of a shitfest, though. At least I haven't had anyone ask to buy any of the things in my example collage yet.

>> No.7644617

There's nothing wrong with having sex once you're an adult. Chastity is overrated.

>> No.7644635

This. Putting so much value on stuff like virginity, "purity" and intact hymens is pretty useless in an age of various effective birth control methods. Losing your virginity doesn't change you as a person and first time sex sucks.

>> No.7644649

>I want him to be turned on by the physical me, not secretly masturbate to drawings.
He can't enjoy both?

>> No.7644657

Thank you, I'm always impressed when people don't make this connection....

>> No.7644665

There is however everything wrong in having sex with married men.

>> No.7644668

Anon she doesn't sound like she's worth missing. I hope you find some new friends who share and/or respect your interests!

>> No.7644672

The only person doing it wrong is the married man. She shouldn't have to worry about her partener's life, especially if it's only a sex-centered relationship. He is big enought to make his own decision, he choose to cheat, he is wrong.

>> No.7644673

>She shouldn't have to worry about her partener's life
I don't think you've been through what that can do to a family. Stop being so fucking selfish and some consideration for what your actions can do.

>> No.7644674

Know if he has feelings for her, potato. If he says "no" even if you assure him it's for you and you two only, it can be he has feelings for her

>> No.7644678

The guy clearly has a personality type which holds that intimacy is extremely valuable and should not be a casual thing.

His first relationship is equally clearly with someone who does not.

That sort of mismatch in expectations, needs and desires will definitely cause problems down the line.

Also, studies have shown over and over again that the more sexual partners you have had the less likely you are to be able to form a permanent attachment to one person.

Here's just one:

There's nothing really wrong with not anchoring yourself to one person, but to pretend that someone who clearly DOES want that sort of permanent attachment should get over it, and that other people like him are *wrong* for caring about the single biggest indicator of whether or not the other person wants the same thing is kinda messed up. It's like saying that a girl who wants kids should get with a guy who hates kids because there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be a father.

>> No.7644691

basically. These are the people who QQ when someone calls them a whore/manwhore and how "everyone has a right to do what they want with their body", then shit on people who want a longterm partner who doesn't fuck around. And don't even try to make it all about muh wimmyn's rights, if I got with a guy who had sex with lots of girls, threesomes and was involved in infidelity, I'd toss him out.

>> No.7644702

> At hostel in Frankfurt
> Mixed room, 8 beds, 7 are guys then there is me [girl]
> Back pain from picking up heavy suitcase incorrectly
> While looking for Ibuprofen see really well done free cosplayers at the train station
> want to complement but am in too much pain and need to find drugs
> Can't find any open pharmacies
> Go back to hostel
> Nice and cute bunk mate has individually packaged advil
> praise be

Now that I'm feeling better [yay drugs] I kind of want to find the cosplayers but they are probably on their way home by now.

>> No.7644705

I kind of think people take the wrong approach. Instead of telling everybody to accept slutty women, we should just also shame slutty guys. Bam, double standard solved.

>> No.7644709

"Your" actions? What, does the husband accidentally trip and fall into her vagina or something? She's not responsible for someone else's family, he is. If he doesn't want to destroy his family, he should make the choice not to sleep around. It's nobody else's problem or responsibility.

>> No.7644710
File: 259 KB, 500x759, ANIME FRAT.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Why are all nerdgirls into weird shit?

>>One wants me to hit her, I spank her a bit and it's fun, she calls me a pussy and wants me to spit in her face and slap her, nope the fuck out and figure it's a fluke
>>One lolita apparently lives the stereotype and is a massive ageplayer, talks me into diapering her and it's kind of cute until she literally shits herself
>>Another hyper submissive with a rape fetish zzzzz
>>"Domme" into blood play
>>Vanilla girl oh my god yes thank you please just put your vagonus on my penrar NO FUCK IT YOU SAID YOU WERE VANILLA WHAT IS THIS ORGASM DENIAL BULLSHIT

I'm just done, I'm quitting women and fucking traps exclusively, it's literally easier to find a trap than it is a nerdgirl who doesn't think /d/ is real.

>> No.7644711

Are you implying she has no responsibility when it comes to choosing a partner? Being a homewrecker is the scummiest thing you can do, both parties are at fault but the female involved is DEFINITELY sharing some of that blame.

>> No.7644712

Both people are equally at fault. Don't try to shift the blame on someone else.

If you're too selfish to realize what cheating can do to someone's family, then you're a scummy piece of shit. Fuck people like you.

>> No.7644719

You seem to be implying that the woman (or man) in this situation is responsible for the other party's actions (sleeping with them). Why?

This "homewrecker" idea is patronizing bullshit. Men are not weak-willed, spineless creatures who can't say no. Neither are women. It is 100% the cheater's responsibility for cheating, end of. You wreck your own home. The other woman (or man) isn't married, you are. They aren't responsible for hurting a spouse's feelings, you are. Why are they responsible for someone else's marriage?

>> No.7644720

This, so much. Personally I wouldn't have a partner who is married with someone else because I'm pretty exclusive, but it's not her fault. It's kind of dickish and not really a good thing to do but if it wasn't with her it would've been with another chick. He is the one making wrong decision.

>> No.7644724

Different anon, I agree with everything you've said but I'm still disgusted by people who're willing to be "The other woman" It shows a lack of self respect, lack of consideration and lack of empathy for other people. Also shows they can't pick a good partner, someone willing to cheat on someone they've married (I know, things change, but just divorce them if you're unhappy. Don't be a coward and cheat.) is not a good partner.

>> No.7644725

I..I think this might just be the women you're drawn to.
>not that there isn't a higher than usual instance of weird shit in nerdom

>> No.7644726

I can taste the butthurt on this one, Bob!

>> No.7644730

I agree. I think willingness to be the "other woman" is indicative of poor moral character. I'm not saying it's a good thing to do - I'm just saying that if someone in a relationship chooses to cheat, it's their fault, not the party they're cheating with (or on).

>> No.7644731

>Also shows they can't pick a good partner, someone willing to cheat on someone they've married (I know, things change, but just divorce them if you're unhappy. Don't be a coward and cheat.) is not a good partner.
Those weren't the reasons.

>I even had sex with my married older boss when I was 18 for a raise.

>> No.7644732

It's your responsibility to have a single ounce of moral fiber and keep a fucking leash on your soppy, quivering vagina around married men. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, if you open the gate for a married man while you KNOW he is married then you are equally at fault. You don't just sit there and throw up your hands and say "well it's his fault for fucking me when he was married, I'm just along for the ride here." You participated in the act and became complicit in the crime.

I don't really know why I should have to explain why empathy is more important than having risky sex with a married guy. I mean, I understand that older men are so hot and all that, it's a thing. But you stay at home and fap to that, you don't fucking live the fantasy out with some guy and ruin his life.

>> No.7644733

>sex-centered relationship.
It was not about sex, it was a career move.
She had sex with him to get a raise.
Sex in exchange for money.
I know that most of /cgl/ doesn't have a problem with that, but I also know that it would tend to make a lot of guys very uncomfortable if they knew their girlfriend did that, no matter how "mature" he is.

It's definitely something she SHOULDN'T tell him about. Even if this guy is mature enough to not care about her other relationships. If she really feels as guilty as it seems she does about it, then she's not going to do it again, crisis averted.

>> No.7644735

Guessing you've been the other woman a lot.

>> No.7644738

>Why are they responsible for someone else's marriage?
Do you know what can result from ruining someone's marriage? I am speaking as someone who has had my family fucking ruined as a result of that. It doesn't only two people, it affects the rest of the family, and many other relationships with others . Are you too fucking simple minded to comprehend what could result from that?

>> No.7644739

>ruin his life
Unlikely. If the wife finds out and objects then you and he together have ruined the entire family's lives, but if she doesn't then no harm no foul, it's not going to be some specific damage just to him. You aren't in a position to talk about moral fiber and empathy if you don't try to consider damage done to anyone except the man.

>> No.7644743

Still not 'love' centered tho, it was definitly sex centered for him. And yeah, I have no problem with fucking someone to get a raise, except I wouldn't do that because if I wanted to do money using my body I could do much more that just having a raise.
It's not a smart move, because it makes your superior devalute your actual work and it put you in a position of weakness (if you stop having sex with me I fire you), but it's the only problem here. As I said earlier, if it wasn't with this 18 yo chick that would have been with another.

>> No.7644747

The "crime"? Dear lord, anon. Let's get a few things straight. Take a deep breath for a second.

I am not a cheater. I have never cheated and never will. I have been with the same guy for five years, and I am not attracted to old men. You can keep trying to strawman me if you want, but it won't work and adds nothing to a debate on ethics.

This idea of "women being the gatekeepers of sex" shows your real point, which is that you seem to think that guys have no real agency in sex - that if they're invited, they'll go for it no matter what. This is an incredibly condescending attitude to take towards men in general. If a woman "opens the gate", it is the job of the married man to not step through it. If I go to a store with no security cameras, it is my job to not steal from it. In this case, it is the job of the man to not sleep around (because it will cause emotional harm to his loved ones). He is making the choice to ruin his marriage by stepping through the gate - nobody else is. Saying that it's other people's fault for "tempting him" is a weak argument. If my boyfriend cheated on me, he would be to blame, not "the other woman". She has no obligation to respect my relationship, because she's not in it.

Never in my life, and I never would. That still doesn't mean I (or anyone) am responsible for the goings-on of other relationships.

>captcha: restriction Mautives

>> No.7644751

The fact that you're fine with cheating and with lying like this is a little disturbing.

>> No.7644753

Some times. People don't know they're the other woman until it's too late though, it happens.

>> No.7644760

>If I go to a store with no security cameras, it is my job to not steal from it.
A store is not a human being. It does not have the ability to think and act on those thoughts. If someone steals from a store, the worst that happens it that they lose potential income.

>> No.7644763

So you're fine with people having no moral obligations to anyone but themselves?

>> No.7644768
File: 13 KB, 224x217, 1292605299686.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Friends only cosplay for attention
>they barely even know who they're cosplaying, only that it'll get them more attention
>they pick popular, but easy to cosplay characters so they can put as little effort in as possible, while reaping maximum attention benefits

I don't mind people wanting attention, but I don't know. It just feels wrong.

>> No.7644772

Get new friends.

>> No.7644776

That's true. But a man (or woman) can think, and can understand the ramifications of their actions before they undertake them.

That's a pretty dramatic oversimplification. Specifically, it is not anyone's obligation to stop other people from doing self-destructive things - or anything else, for that matter. If some guy wants to ruin his marriage, that's his own problem. It is not the job of women (or men) everywhere to treat the other sex with kid gloves and act as their therapist. If two consenting adults agree to have sex, they can deal with the ramifications - whether that's hurt feelings or anything else. They knew what they were getting into and made their own informed, conscious choices about what they would entail.

People sabotage their own relationships knowingly. Nobody is obligated to act as a moral compass for people who've thrown away their own.

>> No.7644781


Dude what. BDSM girls/rape fetishes are the best bitches.

>> No.7644786

I'm in the later half of my 20s and I'm not sure what direction to go in with my life.
Part of me thinks I should get a real career because I'm tired of being a poorfag and am worried about not being accomplished professionally. No time for cosplaying, not as much as I want to, but enough money for lolita and vacations, dinners out etc. plus planning for retirement and such.
But the rest of me wants to take advantage of my youth before it's all gone and really focus on cosplay. Get a part time job and make just enough money to fund stuff I want and a little savings. I don't even really care about my professional accomplishments, I'd rather do stuff I actually enjoy. I don't want to be in my mid 30s and look back and regret not doing this stuff while I still kind of had the looks for it. Plus I'll probably get tired of it in the next few years anyway and find something else to focus on.

>> No.7644787

I mentioned ruining his life because the cheating couple was the focus of the issue, but just because I didn't mention it would ruin his family's life doesn't imply I wasn't considering it. Someone else addressed that up above.

All of the "you"s I used were hypothetical, but good job taking it all personally.

Anyway regardless of what you say, sex is an act performed by two individuals. The woman opens the gate and lets the man in, and if she does so knowing full well that he's married then she shares the blame. He's also to blame! But that doesn't mean she's not. He has agency and can choose to cheat, and she has agency and can choose to not participate in cheating. When you're fucking someone in a relationship you're actively helping them cheat, I can't spell it out more obviously than that.

>>she has no obligation to respect my relationship
Yes, yes she does. Boundaries exist in society. This is one of them.

>> No.7644800

>That's true. But a man (or woman) can think, and can understand the ramifications of their actions before they undertake them.
The other person involved can as well. Stop trying to shift the responsibility away.

>> No.7644802

>The woman opens the gate and lets the man in
Different anon, I don't really give a crap about stepping into your guys argument over cheating and marriage or whatever but I just want to point out this kind of thinking is dumb. You don't think it's possible for the woman to be the one who wants sex aggressively, and the guy is the one unzipping his pants and letting her in? Or a mutual decision arrived at by two consenting adults? This line of thinking is outdated and not really based on anything other than vaginas look like entryways and "lul all guys want to fuck everything constantly"

>> No.7644807
File: 184 KB, 640x960, 1394803229838.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>I've sucked about 37 dicks, it doesn't define me!


>> No.7644809

Are you implying I'm naturally attracted to this? Oh my god what a horrible irony that would be, fuck.

I dunno anonymous, I've got some fetishes myself but I get seriously weirded out by hyper submissive women. I don't want to hit someone or spit on her or give her bruises or anything, I don't want to collar her and treat her like an animal, I don't want to tie her down and pretend to rape her. It's giving me the creeps just thinking about that stuff. To each his own I guess.

>> No.7644811

>good job taking it all personally
I was both addressing you and a number of people above who said similar things. It was just easier to do so in one post instead of making several. Again - calm down.

Yes, the woman is also involved in sex, obviously. The issue isn't that she's not - the issue is that she is not in a relationship. She did not take any vows to protect this guy's wife - the guy did. He cheats on his wife with her. It is 100% his choice, barring some sort of absurd extenuating circumstance (like rape, or a gun to his head, or blackmail or whatever else). He chooses to wound his wife emotionally by sleeping with this woman. Why is it her responsibility to uphold someone else's marriage? I'd be interested in an actual answer other than "you just don't do that".

You keep repeating yourself, so I'll ask again: why is it the woman's (or in another case, the man's) responsibility? It's not her relationship.

>> No.7644814

Can we all just agree that sleeping with someone married is not anywhere near as bad as cheating on your spouse but is still sort of a shitty thing to do? Is that so hard?

>> No.7644816

>I really don't wanna stop seeing him.
This is the most important thing. Don't cut yourself off from him if you don't want to. It won't be good for you, and a lot of people itt seem to have lost track of the fact that it won't be good for him either. He's already "shy and not very social," and that sort of maladjusted behavior will only escalate if you push him away. If you like this guy at all you don't want him to end up on wizardchan. Be decent to yourself, be considerate, be compassionate to both him and your past self, and learn to forgive yourself, it's the best thing you can do for both you AND him.

>> No.7644820

Thank you for your reply.

>> No.7644831
File: 36 KB, 640x480, much respect, cats.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yep. /cgl/ isn't really the place for this kind of discussion anyway so I'll take my leave. Adios anons.

>> No.7644833

I'm honestly astounded that you're asking these questions. I'll give you one good reason: Empathy. You see a married guy and you understand that fucking him would ruin his family's life. So you don't do that because you understand that ruining the life of a family is wrong, regardless of what vows or contracts you've signed. You understand that human responsibility doesn't simply derive from literal vows or contracts. You understand how that kind of suffering can cause an enormous amount of unnecessary strife in the lives of innocent people. You understand that while the man might not have the foresight to prevent that in this case, you do. You understand that suffering feels bad and you would not want to feel that pain yourself, so causing it in someone else's life is terrible.

Empathy. Morality. These are things normal people understand. Why don't you?

>> No.7644834


A random bitch is fine to do that shit to. Unless you've been with your gf/wife for a long time and really love them, it takes A LOT of trust to go full BDSM and still love a person.

>> No.7644844

I feel really bad for him. You should probably be honest but he will probably dump you, sleeping with your married boss for a raise on top of that would be the final straw. If you don't tell him though, he'll find out and he'll end up hating you.

>> No.7644847

>You keep repeating yourself, so I'll ask again: why is it the woman's (or in another case, the man's) responsibility? It's not her relationship.
It requires two to have sexual relations (mindblowing, I know). Why does one person carry less responsibility (or even none) than the other? Unless >>7644753 happens, both parties are at EQUAL fault. What happens afterwards that is a result of both parties actions. Just because you don't give a shit of what potentially could occur as a result of your actions does not mean you had any less of a part in it.


>> No.7644850

The foresight? Are you joking? He doesn't realize the feelings of his own wife, but the woman is supposed to understand them better than he does? Are you really making excuses for hypothetical cheating men?

As I said before, I have never cheated and never would. I do have empathy for other people. The issue is responsibility, not empathy. Would I sleep with a married man? No, I would not. Does that mean it's my responsibility not to? Again, no. It's his responsibility not to cheat in his own relationship. If he elects to sleep around, that's on him and no other party.

I can't tell if you're being deliberately obtuse or not. The question is not "will sleeping with married people result in emotional pain in others". The question is "whose job is it to prevent that emotional pain". That would be the person in the relationship, who is hurting them. Not the third party.

>> No.7644851


They are both on equal levels of bad

In each you make the choice to ruin yours/someone else's life for sex

>> No.7644854


>I could be the bigger person and not fuck this guy and ruin his life
>Nah, yolo its all his choice despite me opening my legs

Now if you didn't know someone was married thats a different story.
But if you know, you have your hand in it all as well making the conscious choice to let a married person fuck you

>> No.7644855

Yes, two people are having sex. One person swore not to have sex, and the other did not. The first person is betraying the person he made a promise to. The second person is not betraying anyone. How are they at equal fault? The second person isn't forcing the first person to have sex.

>> No.7644856

If you see something terrible happening and you have the ability to stop it, it becomes your responsibility. You don't sit on your hands and look for someone who took a vow that they'd stop it to show up and fix the problem, especially if that person is the one perpetrating the issue. I brought up empathy because this is a basic part of the human condition - if you see a wrongdoing being committed, you want to stop it. You don't start fucking the person committing it and then claim it wasn't your responsibility to help.

>> No.7644858

Because it is all his choice despite someone opening their legs. He could choose to walk away, and did not. You can dismiss it with 'yolo' or whatever else to discredit it but the point stands.

So you spend your spare time plucking drugs out of the hands of addicts (and every other analogue)? I'm not saying sleeping with a married person isn't a shitty thing to do. I'm saying it's the responsibility of a committed party not to cheat - nobody else's.

>> No.7644861

So what if it's a married woman cheating on her husband with a non married guy? Is that better or worse?

>> No.7644867

Personally - I wouldn't say it's about the cheated person's feelings, but really what does it say about a person when they are willing to cheat? They just come off as really bad people and not the type of person I'd care to be around, least of all, to have sex with.

>> No.7644868

No I don't. I don't see those things happening in front of me. I don't actively participate in them, as the "other woman" in this scenario is. If I saw someone stealing from a house or murdering someone or raping a girl or committing fraud etc etc you bet your ass I'd do something about it. The only reason this is a grey area is because it involves sex, and stupid people get really confused about sex and will do just about anything to justify having it with as many people as they possibly can.

Objectively the same.

>> No.7644872

>tfw didn't buy KL Lost in Sea wristcuffs
>tfw regretting it 4 months after I placed the order


>> No.7644874

Your problem is your assuming responsibility relies on only one person, anon and the boss did scummy shit.

>> No.7644880
File: 22 KB, 500x313, 1374114206913.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I just want people to like me as much as I like them. I'm kind of convinced, at least right now more than usual, that... I don't know, maybe I'm just not deserving of being liked.

>> No.7644883

As a 27-year-old male virgin I would like to offer my expert opinion on this post.

>You should probably be honest
If you're going to be honest then be fully honest. Which means not just telling him about your past, but about your present. How you feel about him and how you feel about your relationship with him in the here and now, and your intentions for the future. If he is actually special to you now then you can tell him that alone in all the world of men-a world in which you have walked for many years-you have found him alone to be one to have and to hold and to be true to. Don't say "I have been in lots of relationships and they have meant nothing and broken" and leave it at that. If you love him, then love him deeply and fully and without fear or restraint. That doesn't just mean "confess your misdeeds in full" it also means "confess your hopes, dreams, and love in full." Opening your heart completely like that may be scarier than just telling him about the worst aspects of yourself, because if he walks away from *all* of you then it would be a more complete rejection, but I do not think he will walk away. You seem like an earnest, honest, empathic woman, albeit one who has done some bad things in the past (for which you seem sorry). There is more to love in you than you know. And remember, letting him know you is a process. It happens slowly, and in an ordered fashion; trust is not built in a day.

>he will probably dump you
He didn't start this relationship and he is not too likely to end it unless he is afraid that you will end it first or will violate its trust. That fear is very real, the urge to reject in order to avoid rejection, and particularly strong in avoidant men like me. He may see your earlier promiscuity as a danger sign, which is why it is important to establish trust firmly first before entrusting him with that part of your past.

>> No.7644886

you're not alone in this feel anon, I always feel like I'm the person that enjoys the other person's company more then they do.... and am always afraid that I'm just unlikable

>> No.7644887

>How are they at equal fault?
They are at equal fault because they both participated in a sexual act. The second person is at fault because if the he/she never participated in that sexual act, the aftermath of ruining a family would have never happened.

Do you even need to question this? If so, you might have brain damage.

>> No.7644889


I like you.

>> No.7644890

> I don't want to collar her and treat her like an animal

Aw I don't know, it's lovely being treated like a pet, being looked after and loved and feeling special. Submission doesn't mean being treated like shit constantly, porn likes to show it that way but that's because it's a very visual medium.
I think I've got more emotional connection and even footing out of my submissive relationship with my dominant partner than out of any "normal" relationship that I've ever had.
It really is to each his own though, my partner and I are very open which has meant we're up for exploring each other's kinks - if I were in a vanilla relationship I'd never dream of asking my partner to do any of those things you described.

>> No.7644896


you've obviously never done bdsm if you think that it's some kind of disrespect to the other party.

bdsm is about love, trust, and respect. Do you think edgeplay and bondage are something you can trust some random fuck to do it with? I hope you're not a dom, because you're a shitty one

>> No.7644910

your my hero anon

>> No.7644922

Yeah, like this anon says, it is very much to each his own. I really like being hurt during sex, as in slapped and bruised, but I could only do it with someone I trust entirely with my safety. It means a lot, in my opinion, to give your body over like that and be vulnerable.

On the other hand, I would hate to be treated like a pet and would never, ever let someone collar me. My best friend, however, loves submitting in that way to her finance. It means different things to different people. But in the end, I totally do understand why the idea of beating up or dominating someone you love might be repulsive to some.

>> No.7644930

Well, we all submit to our finance these days, the unemployment rate is fairly high.

>> No.7644934

Watching her pay her bills is pretty wild.

>> No.7644958

I have this friend who has been having financial troubles lately, so I paid her bills for a few months last year while she got back on her feet. Now she's having financial troubles again, and I'm really surprised, because she made many new cosplays in the past few months and went to several conventions. So I'm guessing she didn't budget at all when she did that. She's asking for my help again, and while I don't mind paying for her medicine and making sure she doesn't get evicted, I really don't want to give her money if she can afford her own rent if she just went to less conventions and budget beyond the current month. But I'm shit at being mean to people and just sent her money again. I wish I could yell at her but she probably won't take it well and I do value our friendship.

>> No.7644960

Well, it's definitely something to consider. Generally if you tend to run into the same type of people over and over it's because of you, not just because all x are y.
It's weird if you hate that shit but there is probably some other kind of personality type, characteristics, or traits they all have in common (other than being nerdy) that somehow correspond to kinkiness, that you're attracted to and just don't realize it.
But if you know about it maybe you can do something about it.. or just go for the traps, lol.

>> No.7644962

Did she ever pay you back?

>> No.7644964

No, I told her she didn't need to. Most of my friend circle don't expect favours/money to be paid back directly - just help each other out in the future.

>> No.7644966

Never give out money you expect to be paid back. It won't happen most of the time. The only people I lend money to are my S.O and Dad if he needs cash

>> No.7644967

It's me again, I know no one gives a shit but I like writing here anyway, it helps clear my thoughts.
So I thought about it and I realized that the happiest times in my life were all more or less when I had extra spending money to do with what I pleased, rather it be buying lots of fashion shit, animu, going out to fancy dinners or vacations. So now I'm thinking that's the route I should take.
I don't even really like making costumes or going to cons, I just like getting epats and I really want to be cosfamous (I KNOW it's stupid, but I just want to)
But I also want to be lolita/jfashion famous and I have a lot more fun doing those things, and those are also a limited time/youthful thing. The difference is they require more money than time so working more makes sense, whereas I'd have to work less to do more cosplay. So maybe it makes more sense to go for that. I could probably still pull off 1-3 costumes a year, plus if I had money I could buy or commission some of the pieces I don't want to do.
Bleh, really I wish I could just work part time and make a ton of money doing that, but isn't that everyone's dream? (inb4 camming)

>> No.7644970

To me it sounds like she used the money to go to conventions. I wouldn't help her out even if that was just a false assumption, if she didn't learn the first time she won't this time.

>> No.7644971

I didn't expect it to be paid back. And I mean, even if she does waste all her money, I would rather just give her the money she needs for her bills than see her sick and get kicked out. I just wish she wouldn't waste it in the first place

>> No.7644973
File: 1.58 MB, 1405x1986, hilde.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm a gay guy and I want to cosplay pic related. My parents have known that I'm gay for a good three or four years or so. They find cosplay weird enough, let alone crossplay. It's not even a sexual thing, I just really dig her design. As it stands, I'm probably going to do it for next years Otakon, but I'm gonna have to hide it from my parents because I'm pretty sure they'd think I was trans if I didn't. Anyone else ever been placed in a similar situation?

>> No.7644975

I don't think she used the money to go to conventions. I should have made my original post clearer, but I'm pretty frustrated at her.
She had everything back together for awhile, but she literally did not save. At all. during that period. And now she's having troubles again.

Anyone else would have been fine, because well, 2 or 3 months unemployed isn't a big deal but she's just like "Lol but what is investing? Look at all the things I can buy now!" which is the part that really frustrates me.

>> No.7644977
File: 1.93 MB, 480x270, 1383348786381.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>mfw I made a joke post here:>>7644940 about this post:<span class="deadlink">>>12313331[/spoiler]
>mfw I find this minutes later and turns out you're actually from /cgl/

Holy shit r9k wasn't kidding about you fuckers

>> No.7644983

You should write out checks specifically TO the people she needs to pay, that way she can't use the money for other things.

>> No.7644984

I think just so she actually learns life is tough, just say you can't afford to help her out this time on top of your own rent/bill/food/tax e.t.c expenses. They're not your responsibility. They should be grateful you could help the first time anyway, but shouldn't expect it to be a regular occurrence.

>> No.7644991

I suppose. But I'm scared she'll get evicted or something, and I really wish she didn't need to go through that to learn that planning is important.

Also not too sure how to word that I don't want to help her, but that's probably more me being socially awkward as fuck.

>> No.7644995

Honestly would it be that bad if she got evicted?
Yeah it would suck, but it's not the end of the world and she might actually learn something. If you keep giving her money, all she is going to learn is that there is no need to take care of herself, other people will do it for her. That is a very dangerous attitude, and it could follow her for the rest of her life and really fuck shit up later.

>> No.7644999

I feel like I'm in a godawful fashion rut and I can't coord for shit. Half the things I think will look good with something end up looking horrible. I can't accessorize, or find blouses that I like, and I can't apply makeup (Yes, I've practiced. All I've managed is to make myself look like I was punched in the face). I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing anymore.

Sorry for being whiny, I'm just feeling down on myself.

>> No.7645001

That is true, I suppose.

Thanks for letting me rant, /cgl/

>> No.7645002
File: 2 KB, 126x103, 1308123496872s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>girl in comm a giant drama/attentionwhore, constantly making drama for herself, can't live without involving herself in something
>everyone in comm openly complains about her for years
>she starts really desperately kissing everyone's asses constantly
>everyone constantly complains about her asskissing in person
>but they're out of their way all overly nice to her online

I'm not sure who I'm more disgusted with, the dramawhore, or my apparently incredibly two-faced comm. If you all have such giant hateboners for her, at least be consistent about it

>> No.7645003


Of course I wouldn't trust edgeplay or bondage to a random stranger. I simply said if it weirds you out, do it to a stranger you don't care about, not someone you think it may hurt.

>bdsm is about love, trust, and respect

And I pretty much said exactly that.

>> No.7645009

>really want new DC stripe blouse
>my size sold out before SS even went online

I hope Clobba got their hands on a couple. :C

>> No.7645018
File: 41 KB, 290x200, angry-sailor-moon-annoyed-serena-usagi_200s.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>used to sell Sailor Moon stuff for pretty decent money on ebay
>new stuff comes out
>everyone's buying the new stuff
>prices for the old stuff drops and no one wants it anymore

>> No.7645021

I feel terrible about going about a breakup the way that I did. I was dating him for a long while, we've known each other for years and years. In the last six months he became really physically aggressive and abusive, snapping at me and making me feel worthless if I got the slightest thing wrong. English isn't my first language and if I ever misunderstood something he would flip out and hit me, at that point I'd had enough and left. It was such a sudden switch, he'd always been really sweet and caring and we were kinda opposites but we made the effort to be interested in each others hobbies/interests and he always loved my style and thought I was adorable in lolita. I left, as I said, and went back to my mother's house for a little while because I was scared of him. I told him I'd had enough, put up with enough beatings and him lashing out verbally and that I thought we should break up. He seemed ok with that and we said goodbye, parted, sorted things out about moving, but after a few days he started calling me again and harassing me and being obnoxious and so I just deleted him, blocked him and completely cut him out of my life. My mother told me I was being ridiculous and childish by doing that but I felt it was what was safest for me at the time, we live in the same town, he could come and see me at any time, so I felt that removing him from my life was a positive. I just hate being made to feel guilty about it.

>> No.7645023

fuck that guy you shouldn't feel guilty. You did the right thing standing up for yourself

>> No.7645025
File: 62 KB, 640x480, 16.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>tfw bought this massive taobao order with my friend
>send her the money on paypal
>paypal fucks up and it doesn't go through
>still charged for the money i sent
>call paypal, freak out at them for hours
>they agree to pay for the whole order, and refund me the money
>it's been almost a week and they haven't sent my friend her money
>I've called several times, the last time i called they said it would go through that night
>still hasn't gone through

Even though it's not my fault I feel like a total piece of shit for putting my friend in that situation.

>> No.7645028

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. If you don't feel safe around someone(especially someone who actually has the gull to use physical violence, then they shouldn't be in your life. Just avoid him. If he tries to come up to you walk away. If he threatens you, make a scene.

>> No.7645029

>Eating healthy lately
>Went on a nice 3 mile run today
>Suddenly, crippling crippling diarrhea
what the hell body whaat the hell.

>> No.7645030

>My mother told me I was being ridiculous and childish by doing that
Wow, what the fuck is wrong with your mom?
You made a great decision. So many women that are abused don't leave. I hope everything is okay, and ignore your mom, I don't even have words for someone who thinks it's okay for another human being to get hit when they don't understand a word, that's so messed up. I'm so sorry anon. I hope things get better for you, you have nothing to feel guilty over.

>> No.7645031

>Eating healthy lately
More fiber, more poop
Probably more water = diarrhea

>> No.7645044

Thank you kind anons. It means a lot, It was horribly difficult as we'd been together so long, but it's been just over a week and he's been quiet, so fingers crossed he'll just leave me alone. I've decided to move back to my home country so it'll be a fresh start.

>> No.7645046

good luck to you : )

>> No.7645047

>FB feed in the past week
>"$30 shipped is too much for a bodyline skirt!"
>"you're an elitist for telling someone to follow Lolita's rules"
>"trying out the lolita!"
>picture of a Milanoo quality dress
>previously tried to warn her about Milanoo but she says she's always gotten good quality from them
>posts another pic taken at a mini con today; "even Darth VADER bows to dark lolita"
>footless tights and walmart flats with said Milanoo atrocity

I am such a fucking cunt (and apparently a brand whore/elitist) but why the fuck are all these sweet as fuck women dressing like SHIT?! Stop it! Jesus, I want to help them SOOO MUCH, but I can see it turning into a "SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE Lolita who doesn't need rules/MUH CURVES" type situation. They are my friends, but my god, they can't dress worth shit. For now, I guess I'll just sit back and seethe.
FTR, not claiming I'm a perfect lolita, but you don't need to be a carpender to know when a house has been shittily made.

>> No.7645050

Good luck anon!

>> No.7645053

Also, they think CGL is such an evil place. Honestly, I have a very thin skin when it comes to the Internet, but I fucking love you guys. You have helped me grow up, make better decisions about my life, gave awesome as fuck recommendations for makeup, and even took my ita-tastic side in some stupid internet "fight".
It just cracks me up when I hear them talk about how evil and horrible and bitchy cgl is...well, I mean we CAN be, but for the most part, it's awesome here.

>> No.7645054

W-will this stop? i'm going back to eating shit food if it keeps me off the can

>> No.7645055
File: 46 KB, 510x340, 0000.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

you don't need to be a carpender to know when a house has been shittily made.
just throw a carpet down and your ready to move in

>> No.7645061

You'll adjust if you keep eating the way you have been. It's like your bowels are working out too, efficiency and all that. Heh, just embrace it

>> No.7645063

If they're your friends I don't suppose there's any way you could gently make suggestions? Its always weird to me when seemingly normal people are friends with these types, it seems like such noxious behavior but I guess some of them really are nice people otherwise

>> No.7645076

>been on this board for about five years
>recently found myself posted in a thread for the first time
>only mean comment made me laugh

Visiting here for so long may have steeled me, or maybe it's a bit softer here now, but either way, I'm a little disappointed.

>> No.7645081

I wish. They're both super sweet girls, but mention that maaaaybe Milanoo isn't good quality and the one gets defensive. The other one is hellbent on being a cheapskate lolita, not wanting to pay more than $100 for a JSK, and I mean AT ALL. It's frustrating.

>> No.7645171

A lot of the obnoxious 'tumblr people' I know are actually really nice, disregarding their self-righteousness, stupidity, and special snowflake syndrome.
Sometimes I want to rip my hair out in frustration when I talk to them though, because almost everything I say is 'offensive'. I just want friends who will laugh at mean jokes and bad cosplays with me, is that too much to ask?

>> No.7645180

Why not figure out their tastes and send them links to Closet Child where "precious burando" is in obtainable reach for someone on a budget.

I've seen lots of stuff on Closet Child for 50-70 and they are second hand brand from the big companies!

>> No.7645192

I'll be your friend. I love offensive jokes and will laugh at all the bad cosplay with you, anon.

>> No.7645216

Count me in too, anons. Cracking jokes that flagrantly piss all over PC standards is much more fun with other people than by yourself.

>> No.7645225

If anyone actually wants to be my friend and make fun of things with me, my skype's in the email field

>> No.7645239
File: 29 KB, 210x180, 1396146967523.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>bf and I finally talk out our issues
>resolve them, promises made, etc
>week later, have a great weekend together
>love is stronger than ever
>get flustered whenever he says "I Love you"
>tfw he might misunderstand
>tfw I feel like bloody teenager
>mfw it happens

>> No.7645276

Well at least now we know why there's been so much shitty bait on cgl today.

>> No.7645279

Yes, duh.

Anyway! Back on topic, I feel left out from my comm.

>> No.7645281
File: 81 KB, 500x421, 1349300038319.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This whole situation just reeks with "who gives a shit". Whether your the "whorish 22 year old" or "virgin beta male". Just fuck it all. Go do something better with your lives who really gives a shit.

>> No.7645282

Actually, you need more fiber in your diet. With too little fiber + lots of water, everything will run right through (diarrhea), with too much fiber you will be gassy and even go more frequently, but when you do go it will be more formed. So it's either poor food absorption or lack of fiber or both.

>> No.7645284

they give a shit because they think women are having sex with everyone except for them and that's wrong and they're going to do something about it by complaining on the internet, damnit
it's like they don't notice young women in LTRs or young guys having sex while young and settling down with a "nice girl" later. it's such a warped view of reality, it would be sad if they weren't such hateful fucks
damnit, moot why did you bring that board back

>> No.7645285
File: 62 KB, 1280x720, 1399312550913.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>wasn't able to order stuff online for a really long time
>finally am now
>everything on omocat-shop is sold out
more of a whine than anything, but fuck's sake I really wanted that one glow-in-the-dark sweater.
a-anyone know how fast they restock?

>> No.7645288
File: 496 KB, 898x750, 1401346520376.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I think you should stop giving a shit.

>> No.7645290

She said she'll be restocking after AX. Don't cry anon!

>> No.7645291

I wish I could :/

>> No.7645292

You should just save your money, that stuff's pretty overrated.

>> No.7645296

Personally, I'm happy it's back. I literally go there to shitpost.
The sad part is that some of them understand common sense, but will ignore it in favor of feeling bad over dumb shit and circlejerking in their 1000th "Women who have had cum on their faces are undateable" or "Yoga pants are degeneracy" thread.

>> No.7645299

Recently, I've been obsessed with finding something to cosplay for an upcoming con in September, since my faulty reasoning is that if I finally make a cosplay, I'll be recognized by people who are into the same series and hopefully gain some friends.

Essentially, I've been running mental circles trying to find a character that fits both my preferences and my pitifully limited sewing/crafting abilities, simply because my attention-starved brain believes this may somehow lead me to find friends. I'm utterly pathetic, but goddamn, I cannot stop. Call it attention-whoring, call it delusional, but until I find a character that fits my awkward, man-faced self I will not rest.

>> No.7645304

There's nothing delusional or attention-seeking about that, anon.
You're taking this shit seriously, and that's admirable.

>> No.7645307

>awkward, man-faced
that girl from bob's burgers?
and that's a fine reason. Don't listen to the people here wanking over "attention whores," it's just drama seeking high schoolers who are jealous whenever people get more attention than them and lash out by pretending like that's not what they want anyway.

>> No.7645314
File: 20 KB, 608x360, 1401861476621.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Just deleted my facebook

>> No.7645335
File: 205 KB, 516x450, 1400787397586.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm going to a new school in fall, and I'm pretty nervous about how I'm going to make any friends. I have social anxiety and I've been a shut-in for a while, so I basically have no social capability whatsoever.
I really don't want to be lonely anymore, but I have no idea how to connect with people.

>> No.7645338
File: 1.15 MB, 1280x720, 1390970340026.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Aw shucks, guys, I forget how nice seagulls can be sometimes.

I'm just worried that with a time span of about two months and no sewing machine, I'm going to be very limited in options as I'm straying towards obscure anime and weird indie games.

>> No.7645348

Hey /cgl/.
Go fuck /r9k/.

>> No.7645349

> Also, studies have shown over and over again that the more sexual partners you have had the less likely you are to be able to form a permanent attachment to one person.

But it's not impossible. I'm >>7644365 and I'm incredibly attached/devoted to my boyfriend. We're in an LDR at the moment and breaking up with or cheating on him has never even entered my mind. I honestly feel like we'll be together forever.

It's all about finding the right person, regardless of how many people you have to sleep with along the way. Also that study you posted refers to pre-marital cohabitation, ie, a serious relationship and not just sleeping around, as a cause of marriage dissolution. So that argument doesn't really stand unless you expect everyone to marry their first ever partner.

>> No.7645357
File: 785 KB, 500x270, giphy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't know what to feel

>grew up with girl, we're besties
>we watch anime together all the time and go to cons, cosplay and are inseparable
>high school comes around
>she's very pretty
>starts hanging out with yolo swaggots and going to teen clubs to 'rave' and gets into drugs
>see less of each other and she forgets about anime and our friendship
>has had sex with 6 guys by 15 and develops a reputation
>comes out as bisexual and experiments a lot
>has no problem bragging and taking pictures of her drug stash and naked pics on twitter
>by 18 she's a tumblr foot fetish porn diva doing camshows on Skype for money and has a following, also sells vids of herself
>gets breast implants with said money and shitty tattoos
>she has previous arrests for battery and theft
>at 19 does her first professional porn video for a major porn production company, threesome of course
>months later she's on the news for having a sex party with 3 underage girls that she picked up ages 12, 13, and 14 and her 2 male friends ages 18 - 20 who each took turns video taping it and bragging on twitter
>one of the males, ex-boyfriend, gets jealous and posts video online to social media site
>some anon calls cops
>she gets arrested for having sex with minors and other charges
>charged with 3 counts, each with a max sentence of 15 years
>she's going to prison for a long time

I don't know if I should feel sorry for her and if all this could have just been prevented if I would have done something in the past to change her future. Maybe I should have stopped her from hanging with the wrong crowd

>> No.7645359
File: 493 KB, 496x279, wait no sob.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>starting uni in the fall
>honors student, living in nice dorm. excited.
>"all right, I just need a roomate/suitemate!"
>have pretty bad anxiety - also has a condition where seizures happen at random times due to anxiety so having a good suitemate/roomate that I know is a must for me
>good friend who I haven't spoken to in forever needs roomate/suitemate too
>weren't super close in hs but her family is pretty chill and we were dance partners when we were little
>she's an engineering major and I'm undecided but the school says our request will probably work out
>request one another and we're both excited
>five months pass
>uni is making assignments
>housing calls me yesterday saying that assignment won't work out because of her major
>engineering majors are recommended to live on the same floor because they have pretty hard classes and such
>the housing lady says that if we room together my friend would miss crucial internship oppps and she would have less success in her classes
>what but my friend and I made an agreement she'll never agree to this
>friend sends me a text early today
>the housing department told her the same thing and she's really scared she'll fail her classes so she decided to live on the engineering floor w/ a random roomie
>now really scared because I like stability in my life and I really want someone who I can trust near me at least for the first year
>trying to brush it off for the sake of my friend but I'm still super sad

I'm not really mad at her even though it was her decision. I'm just mad the housing department didn't tell us this five months ago and they told us it would be fine and there would be no problems.

>> No.7645360

damn anon, that's fucking horrible. I don't think you could have done anything though, a lot of people just change drastically as they age.

>> No.7645361

>Maybe I should have stopped her from hanging with the wrong crowd
She probably would have just told you to fuck off and mind your own business.
She did this to herself, anon.

>> No.7645363

Yikes!! that's quite the downfall. Hopefully prison will help her change

>> No.7645366

I'm in the same bout as you anon. New school new city new living situation in the fall.
I've bettered my social anxiety but still have approach anxiety and problems with conversation and connecting. I'm tired of feeling lonely

>> No.7645367

That sucks anon. Also, that's really stupid. I went to a pretty respectable engineering school, and I never heard of anything like that. Roommates were all over the place, engineers with business majors and biochem and architects (hardest courseload) and pretty much anything. I've never heard anyone suggest it's a negative effect. But maybe it's different if engineering is just one major and there are a ton of slacker courses (not that you're in one) idk

>> No.7645369

There's nothing you could have done in a realistic sense. People like that only learn the consequences of their actions when they either get caught or when they're in serious danger and need someone to bail them out when they realize they're in over their head.

It's that teenage invincibility syndrome that most kids go through, only now, teenagers can't use ignorance of the law as an excuse, especially with social media and smartphones being so prevalent.

>> No.7645372

While I can't deny engineering classes are infamous for being hard, but in your freshman year most classes are what everybody else will be taking anyway? Why can't she make friends in her engineering specific classes and make study dates with them? How does living on the same floor affect internship opportunities? What happens to freshman engineering majors that live off campus? It doesn't make any sense to me.

>> No.7645378

Is it bad that I'm just wondering how this girl is going to fair in an Orange is the New Black type situation? especially since she's evidently a sexually promiscuous and indiscriminate lesbian...

>> No.7645395

Join a club related to your interests. Since we're on cgl, try an anime club. It'll be fall so there should be lots of new members exploring clubs and looking for friends. I feel like anime clubs get a lot of stories/flack for being full of weebs but I've stuck with mine for the past 3 years and I love most people that attend my meetings. imo, it's totally okay to be quiet at meetings but definitely speak up and try to connect with others if somebody talks about something you like!

If anime isn't your thing, try and go out when people invite you to. My first and only year in a dorm, everybody was out to invite each other to get friendly and stuff. If you don't like them, turn them down for the next hang out. Just relax, be yourself, eventually you'll find somebody who you can get friendly with!

>> No.7645400
File: 617 KB, 1280x720, 1402979661740.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>when people invite you to.
H-How do you get invited to things?

>> No.7645402

You're not alone there, Anon. I was thinking about Orange is the New Black too.

>> No.7645415

>two friends slowly but surely have turned from nice people to being entirely obsessed with their own cosplay fame
>they both constantly want to do photoshoots so they have new things to show off, even if they've done shoots in those cosplays 5 times before and they've been done to death
>literally everything is about cosplay - someone will start talking about something they're playing/watching and their immediate reaction is deciding who to cosplay from it, even if they haven't touched the series and never would, even if cosplay hasn't been remotely mentioned
>actually had an intense conversation in front of a bunch of us on how to boost their own popularity on tumblr/facebook

I cosplay with one of them a lot and just watching her turn into this fame monster makes my stomach turn. I feel like a bitch for thinking about her like this but it's just really off-putting to see them so desperate for attention with likes and followers etc, I want to say something but I know it'll just end badly. I really don't know what to do.

>> No.7645423

Not that anon, and I don't know how it works in the states (I'm assuming you're US because 'fall'), but here we have a week or two weeks of social events run by the uni called the Fresher's Fair (or just Freshers). My uni had two weeks, and there was stuff like club nights, quizzes, a night at a comedy club and free tickets to London Zoo. If you go to as many of those events as you can and just talk to people, you're bound to click with somebody, and you'll get invited out again.

Also, if you're living in halls, you'll be forced to make friends with the people in your flat. It's really hard to share a kitchen with someone for nine months and stay complete strangers.

>> No.7645427

I'm from the US and believe me the unfriendly chinese students who microwave fish 5 times a day in the tiny kitchenette will not be your friend. You've got to work for it.

>> No.7645428
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I'm trying to find specific fabric but there's always just one thing wrong with the ones I find.
>don't like this print
>print looks good but wrong color
>perfect fabric but 150 a yard oh hell no
>perfect fabric but it's a remnant/out of stock
>perfect fabric but it's a table runner
>perfect fabric but it's a stock photo

>> No.7645441
File: 36 KB, 640x432, emo kitten.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>tfw mother attacks you on 2 different social media platforms out of nowhere about stupid, petty things
>i recognize it immediately as a sign that she's stressed about something else and displacing it on me, which doesn't make me feel any better
>tfw your dad is getting it 100x worse
>he gets anxious before every major holiday, anniversary, birthday, etc. because he knows that he will never do something that's good enough for her and she will become mean and nasty and criticize everything he does
>it's emotional abuse and neither of us will outright say it and neither of us will ever do anything about it
>at least I can usually ignore it since I'm a mostly self-sufficient adult (25) in another city
>I can't help but think my dad deserves so much better but he has the classic abused mentality and can't see a way out of it and just sees it as a way of life at this point

I was supposed to work on cosplay tonight but I just got off the phone with my dad because he needed someone to talk to, and I'm just gutted and upset right now. I'm having a beer to try and calm down but even that's not helping. Sage for length and venting.

>> No.7645443

Fair enough. All our foreign students are really nice. I've heard that in other places where there's more of them they hang out together and don't speak English, but I think they're all too rich to live in halls anyway. I guess if it's too unbearable you can always hide in your room so you don't have to deal with your flatmates.

You said kitchenette... do US halls not have proper kitchens? My uni doesn't have any halls, but whenever I visit my friends they all have massive kitchens in their flats.

>> No.7645444

My friends have all become weebs. They're all going to cosplay "fandom" meets and making out that they're humping each other and shouting swear words in public places wearing bad cosplays. They also spew tumblr stuff at each other, and won't shut up. I like these people, but I can't stand how obnoxious and weebish they all are.

What do I do, /cgl/? I don't think I can stand this anymore.

>> No.7645449
File: 75 KB, 503x540, 1397441185244.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>the unfriendly chinese students who microwave fish 5 times a day
I had to live with three of these for one semester. They nearly burned the kitchen down about three times. Laughed, screamed, and talked loudly all the time. Made me even more racist towards my own race.

My next roommate (I upgraded to a two-bedroom) was Kazak. I couldn't leave my Brita in the fridge after the first week because she never covered any of her food and my water ended up tasting like star anise. She also left my baking pan in a disgusting, greased up state.

Never live with foreign Asian girls. They are the most disgusting animals. Polite sage for rant.

>> No.7645450
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I dunno either, to be honest (my uni has a decent engineering program, nothing special). To be honest, I think she'd be fine either way. She's very social and she can make friends pretty easy. I was talking with my mother about it and she thinks it might hurt my friend than help her. She's already changed her major more than once already so I don't expect her to stay in engineering tbh.

Both of us are a semester ahead because we took some community college courses in high school, so she IS taking organic chemistry and stuff this semester. She's pretty smart and social anyways, so I think she'd be fine regardless of the housing situation she was in. She's already changed her major a few times already, honestly, so I'd be shocked if she actually stays in the engineering school.

All freshmen are required to live-on campus, but I have a good engineering friend who had to live off-campus for medical reasons and he did just fine. The housing department was really pissed at him, but his family basically said, "fuck you people" and he got what he wanted. What makes me angry is that the housing department fed my friend this line of "It'll wreck your future!!" shit and she believes them. But I have to respect her decision. I'm not mad at her because she's my friend, but I'm just mad at the university for not fucking telling us five months ago.

Thanks anons. I feel little bit better about this whole situation. Universities are fucking stupid.

>> No.7645455

My mom is exactly the same way, if not worse. It's fucking horrible and I feel guilty about it all the time. But I think I've even told him it's emotional abuse and he just doesn't care. I don't know what else I could do. It's so bad I kind of just hope she kicks the bucket really soon, she has a lot of medical problems. My dad deserves a lot better, or at least some peace.

>> No.7645460

man that sounds really bad, to clarify she's actually worse, a lot worse. It's not just big events, it's every day. She's kind of a monster. She also emotionally abused me and my dad didn't do anything about it so I have a lot of resentment.
Sorry anon, I'm not trying to steal your feel, I just have a lot of feelings about emotionally abusive women and not knowing what to do about it.

>> No.7645479

First year students in dorms tend to not have any friends, so you'll all be in the same 'oh god i'm so lonely' boat. Be neat and friendly and people will ask you to hang out, once things settle down and everyone's dabbled in the people on their floor, you'll settle into your friend group.

>> No.7645483

oh anon, don't apologize, I'm sorry that this is happening to you too. My dad doesn't really do much either to defend me because he's too afraid of her. It's the fear that really gets me. he's a man in his mid-50s and it just feels so unfair that he has to live in fear of a person when he's a grown adult, you know?

It's both a good and a bad thing that she's not like this every single day. Good because I actually have good moments with her. Bad because when a bad day/weekend happens with her, because she can be so kind and supportive, it's easier to blame myself for her nastiness. I'm getting better about that though. Now I just pity her, the condescending meaning of "pity". I now think she's pathetic for displacing and projecting her anger when she's stressed out about something unrelated.

I know I still have a lot of work to do about it, but if you haven't started already, I recommend therapy. It's at the very least a good place to go and vent to someone who is paid to sit there and listen and not judge you for what you say.

>> No.7645486
File: 140 KB, 368x368, 1403041855669.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Reading this thread really helps me to understand why women friendzone men so much. Female friends suck ass.

>> No.7645487

>tfw suddenly grateful that all our korean and chinese students stayed amongst themselves and never interacted with anyone else
I had a chinese roommate during my first year but we didn't have much in common so we just never talked or stayed in the room while the other was there unless they were sleeping/studying quietly.

>> No.7645497

.tfw you buy something using a SS, they confirm they bought the item and you see that it's now sold out on the website

>got the last one

>> No.7645499

It's a pretty good feel.

>> No.7645507


You're probably right, but she at least had some innocence left before turning to a bad egg and might have listened

I doubt it. After her arrest, she posted some nonsense on twitter about how god is watching over her, has plans for her, and things will work out and how she hopes her future porn career isn't ruined

She isn't the smartest girl around. What I'm wondering is where her parents were in all this. She was still living at home

>> No.7645512

>want beautiful bowlcut bangs
>have crazy curly hair that will make bangs look like shit unless processed to hell
>will probably make my face look manlier anyways

>> No.7645513

I can never guess why she never looked at her life and seen all the bad shit and never realized who she was turning into

>> No.7645515

who is it anon

>> No.7645517
File: 44 KB, 421x292, 1353546333660.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>dream dress available

>forever sobbing because i lent a friend money and she hasn't payed me back yet, so i can't pay for the dress.
>it's not even her fault that she can't pay me back, the money's just taking forever to process to my bank account


I want this dress so bad.

>> No.7645523

buy fake bangs, anon. they're easy to find, pretty cheap, and are a good way to see how it'd look. you can mess around and see how well they incorporate with your hair. i'm in the same boat with curly hair and wanting fringe. you can have the best of both worlds too!!

>> No.7645525

I don't want to be that guy, but I'm going to be that guy

>lending out money to others without reserve for self

I wish you luck, though

>> No.7645530

That's what I'm wondering as well. I have a sister that was a lot like the friend you described. My mother did her damnedest to get her to see the error of her ways, but she never really got her head on straight despite one abortion, one kid and a current pregnancy with a fuckhead loser for a future husband. Prison sounds like the best thing that could have happened to your friend considering the alternatives.

>> No.7645538

I want to try that just because you're so positive. Thanks!

>> No.7645542
File: 1.15 MB, 360x270, tumblr_ml7dqkFOi81ryk81do1_400.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>start cosplaying
>start lolita-ing
>friends do the same thing
>tfw they're so much better than me
>tfw standing by them makes me feel like a fraud
>tfw all the insecurity and feelings of not being good enough

>> No.7645545
File: 24 KB, 400x300, dogs14altalt.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I grew up with social anxiety but wasn't diagnosed until I was 20. I'm on medication for it now, but I still have some lingering effects, mostly the fact that I think my friends hate me.

I basically always assume people are saying bad stuff about me, that they think I'm stupid, that I'm annoying them, that I'm making them mad, etc.
It doesn't hurt that my best friend recently did get mad over me about something petty, and we're no longer close.
One of my friends is so good to me, I always say "I think ____ is mad at me" to her at cons and she reassures me that everything is fine, but now I'm convinced I'm bothering her with that.

>tfw you fuck up all your friendships and relationships because of this paranoia

>> No.7645569

I'm not sure how easy this would be for you, but in my opinion it's best to be blunt or straight forward with problems with people.

Saying "I think ___ is mad at me," or talking to them directly and asking if they're mad can usually help dissolve tension, or at least lead to a resolution, so maybe you could try talking to more people about it, and then you won't have to feel like you're bothering your one friend so much.

but like, don't be too dickish about it like "Y U MAD AT ME?!" cause that can come off as aggressive or overly defensive

>> No.7645574
File: 1014 KB, 500x281, sobbing.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


Lesson learnt, but I feel like shit.
I just really want this fucking dress.

>> No.7645578

is it possible to call them bank and ask how soon it might be finished transferring?

also is there anything you could do with the seller if it isn't too popular of a dress?

>> No.7645586

I used to be more direct, but calm, saying things like "hey is everything ok? I feel like you might be mad at me", but then I realized I they were saying "no I'm not mad" even if they were.
...Of course, this is the friend I'm not close with anymore. I think part of it was just her. Idk. I kind of want to go to her and say "you're important to me and I was to fix our friendship", but she causes me so much stress and anxiety that I don't think it would end well.

>> No.7645601

Either your friend said it because they realize they aren't really mad or it isn't important, or they'd rather avoid it and pout.

If she honestly causes large amount of negativity, you maybe shouldn't be friends, or at least close friends. All friends fight, but if it's a really frequent thing that honestly hurts you for a long period of time you should probably stay away.

But props to you for really thinking about it

>> No.7645605

I just really dislike thinking about things where my efforts were completely in vain. It... really upsets me, although I suppose no one would get anything done if they were to dwell on their failures rather than learn from them. It still hurts, though.

>> No.7645607

It's a taobao dress, but fairly popular and almost sold out.

>> No.7645608

this reminds me
>play video games
>strive to be really good
>realize it doesn't fucking matter and I should do other more productive things with my time

but I'm on 4chan so idk what classifies as "productive" to me

>> No.7645616

I swear I've read this before.

>> No.7645630

I had people knock on my door my first week at school. Alternatively, leave it open for people to walk by and peak in, you're bound to catch someone eager to make friends that way.

>> No.7645631

Reminds me of people who abuse people for not playing well in low stakes pub matches. "It's not about fun, it's about playing to win." Clearly that mindset's making them happy people.

Nothing wrong with playing well in your spare time as long as you don't overdo it. Which reminds me, I really should be working on that project right now, but figuring out the pattern really bores me.

>> No.7645638

Not the freshman anon but this anon >>7645366

How would this apply to me at age 21?
Not living in dorms and not a freshman

Living in a resort-like housing area filled with mostly students from an expensive private university nearby which I don't attend

>> No.7645640

>deathly afraid of intimacy
>recoil if I hear my own name
>panic and go absolutely apeshit if people touch me or get too close
>unsurprisingly, never had close friends
>depression shoos away any hangers-on
>still desperately clinging to cons for the small chance of social interaction

Fuck, I've never been good with people but the older I've gotten, the more it's festered. I can't even connect with fellow animefags anymore, especially not when they all have their own established friend groups and hierarchies already.

>> No.7645641

If you really want to help yourself, exposure is really the only thing you can do. It's affecting your life so you really should. Just take baby steps and push yourself a little each time.

>> No.7645646

But how, anon?

>> No.7645650

Just know that if you don't tell him the truth you're a fucking bitch.

>> No.7645654

I hope I didn't come off as a d bag who hates "casual" players,
but I guess I feel like I'm not verified as someone who likes video games unless I'm good

I think it's cause I'm a chick and I'm usually the target for people assessing if I'm good or not, and if I suck I won't hear the end of it

I probably should just play for fun, since that's literally the point of playing a video game

I'm a mess

>> No.7645657

My friends found out I wear diapers under my petticoats when we go to cons/meetups.

It's a kink thing but also a convenience thing because I don't like having to use public bathrooms in my nice clothes.

Anyway they're all treating me like a freaky pariah now and I'm basically living my own nightmare. I guess it was a silly thing to do in the first place but I never expected to get excommunicated from my group for it.

>> No.7645658

I went from neet to normal. Pretty much just started with going outside by myself in familiar areas, then to ones that aren't etc. When I started school again I made myself talk to people even though I had panic attacks a few times. I'll working so I can't go more in depth, but I left my email in the field if you want to chat about it!

It takes time, but you can definitely do it anon.

>> No.7645660

>kink in public
>would rather piss and shit in nice clothes instead of using bathroom
>making weird fashion seem even weirder to other people

Just fucking do it at home, keep it away from the comm.

>> No.7645662

Those first three points sound like some pretty severe issues. Is there some kind of source for these attacks, were you abused or went through a traumatic experience of some kind? Do you panic from ANY physical touch or is it a certain aspect? Like, can people tap you on the shoulder or hold your hand without triggering something? Honestly I'd recommend you seek some kind of therapy, if it's affecting your life so badly then you might need a medical professional to sort out your brain.

>> No.7645665

The diapers hold everything just fine, it only leaks if I do something crazy like forget to change for 6 hours or whatever.

And hey, the cute aesthetic of lolita helps me get into the right headspace really easily.

It's definitely my fault for getting yelled at, though, but I guess I was just hoping they'd be more understanding or nicer about it. Kink shaming isn't very nice.

>> No.7645666

Yeah, it is unfair. I mean my dad isn't the best but he doesn't deserve what he gets. And he tries SO damn hard but my mom is so fucking unreasonable, even when he tries she just snaps at him for getting some little thing wrong.
I kind of think people for whatever reason choose to be in that position.. but I don't know, maybe I'm just justifying it to feel better. Whenever I ask about it he always just says "because I love her" but she's so awful and I know she really hurts him. It's like he's a masochist, or something. He also says he doesn't want to divorce because she'd have nowhere to go, which is true, but she kind of deserves it. I feel like even paying stupid amounts of alimony would be preferable to constant abuse, but I don't know.
She is also kind and supportive to me sometimes but over the years I've gotten more immune to it and realize it's usually to get something or she shows love by giving me things, like she's trying to buy me, or prove something. I guess yours is a little different, I always wonder if mine is borderline or something but I think she's more calculated than that. She's more of a classic abuser, I think she is aware of what she is doing though maybe only subconsciously.
It's sad because if the genders were reversed it would be so fucking obvious, wouldn't it.
I did go to therapy for awhile and my therapist really sympathized with me and suggested cutting off my mom. But I can't really afford that anymore. It's helping you? Did they suggest anything useful?

>> No.7645669

>tfw I try to expand cosplay connections
>tfw I openly talk with strangers
>tfw when trying to find an SO to cosplay with and cosplayers are all I feel comfortable with striking up conversations/flirting with
>tfw my friends need to be near me all con
>tfw my friends are cockblocking me without realising
I can't say anything though without sounding like a complete bitch but I don't understand why some friends feel the need to be attached at the hip all day. Like as long as we both meet up to travel home after together IDGAF what you do around then

>always picking obscure or harder cosplays to challenge myself or up my game
>friends say they understand that I'm entering national comp
>getting closer to the comp; literally spending all my free time around work trying to get it done weeks beforehand
>friends decide that they all MUST see me/talk to me in the last few weeks
>would feel bad not having a day off and just do
>everything got done last minute and I had some pieces of my outfit rushed so I feel responsible for my team not winning
>feel angry that I couldn't just say "no sorry"
>read back later and I did say no multiple times and they've shown up out of the blue to see me
>one friend even insists I see them when I'm sick
Fucking why would you do this to me guys?
>have limited time for another comp entry; cash prizes involved
>"hey anon come to my house this weekend"

At least one friend coming over is coming over to do our group cosplays together. I know it's my fault for wanting to not just do work and cosplay but the other hand I felt I should've just put my foot down for the competitions. They say they understand that these specific ones mean everything to me but then when I'm at my busiest its like they forget or just don't understand.

ugh, sage for ranting and not asking advice because I know I'm a dumbass beta. the comp is again next year so I plan to start as early as I possibly can so they can't compblock me again

>> No.7645670

I second fake bangs. Actually I have had real bangs that were straight and looked fine, and I still prefer the fake bangs because they're fuller. But my stylist was kind of shitty at cutting bangs, so.

>> No.7645671
File: 167 KB, 888x669, 1396985466467.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

post diapers

>> No.7645673

When did I even shame you for doing besides the fact that you do it in the fucking public around people who want nothing to do with it

You can wear lolita at home.

It's pretty common social understanding to not do your weird kink shit around everyone else.

I don't feel bad for you at all

>> No.7645675

>kink shaming
Listen, you're going to have to understand that whether or not people can stop you from doing things you like, you can't stop them from not liking it. Get over yourself and learn that. If you're mad about people being disgusted at things they don't share or understand like that, get over it. Everyone's not here to please you, and you're not there to please them so why act like a shit?

>> No.7645676

Lol, this is how I feel but with cosplay. I realized even super popular cosplayers from the past are all but forgotten once they stop producing or do less. There are maybe 2 cosplayers right now that people will even remember at all in a few years. You're always replaced by some newer hotshot cosplayer.
>but its for the love of the characters
still feels bad man.

>> No.7645677

this is why I never even started cosplaying

>> No.7645678

I feel you anon. If I'm the only girl playing games with some guys I feel like I have to live up to some kind of expectation or end up as some kind of story "oh I played this girl and she sucked, like all girls do amirite'"
it ruins all the fun for me. I really prefer playing with a group in which there's another female who's really good, or it's only other females. Less stress.

>> No.7645680

Your story gives me hope, and major congratulations on breaking out of the neet cycle. I haven't yet gone full hikkikomori but it's getting close.

If there was any abuse then I must have done a good job of repressing it, since I can't remember anything that might have triggered it. I've lost my shit and yelled at people for trying to adjust the tag on my shirt without telling me, but I've also tensed up and gone speechless in the same situation so it's a crapshoot.

>> No.7645682

Sorry, no, there are plenty of tumblrs for that kind of thing if you want it.
I meant my friends. I didn't expect them to kink shame me. I guess I'm going to be doing it at home for a while now, though.
I'm not upset at them, I'm just disappointed I guess. They all seemed like very open minded and fair people but they got super grossed out and didn't even let me explain or justify myself. I know coming out about a kink isn't at all like coming out about your sexual leanings but I was hoping they might react similarly. Guess I was wrong.

>> No.7645683

>Kink shaming isn't very nice.

wearing your best clothes to a tea party and then finding out the person next to you shat their pants an hour ago and has absolutely no intention of changing "isn't very nice" either. especially when lolitas are already sensitive over allegations of ageplay and sissies, the very least you can do is keep your grody fetish material in the privacy of your own home.

>> No.7645686

What is it with Chinese exchange students and microwaves?

>> No.7645687

dude what fucking adult literally pisses in diapers because it's "easier", are you fucking serious right now
peeing in lolita isn't even that bad, you just grab your petti/dress and sort of bunch it up in front.
this is stupid

>> No.7645688

>It'd be much easier to tell him that I've had boyfriends and leave it at that.
That would be very unfair of you. Where is your compassion? Please be responsible and tell him the full truth.

>> No.7645691

I usually play alone anyways, which in mmo's sucks dick.

I used to play MTG a lot, but even though I was like 15 all the skeevy guys thought it was fun to make sexual comments all the time

I've met tons of decent dudes, but the shit ones are just so unbearable I don't do anything anymore

>> No.7645692

Yeah, no one wants to imagine that you're literally pissing your pants while they're trying to have a conversation with your dumb ass

>> No.7645693

She already talked to him and said she has done some bad stuff in the past and he didn't want to know the truth, only if she had any STDs.

>> No.7645695

>I know coming out about a kink isn't at all like coming out about your sexual leanings but I was hoping they might react similarly.

Kinks are a bit different. I'm no prude, but I think that sharing stuff like that isn't really with someone who's not already or potentially a sex partner. Mostly because no one else needs to know that information but someone who is or wants to be involved in it. Especially since a lot of kinks are things people wouldn't normally like, it can be really offputting, not just because of the kink itself but for someone to imagine you in a sexual situation. I've got my share of kinks but it makes me really uncomfortable to know about other peoples' if I don't want anything to do with them that way.

>> No.7645696

It isn't kink shaming when it's all kinks.

Leave that shit at home, and stop getting defensive when other people don't want to participate.

>> No.7645697

oh my god MTG is the worst. It's literally like the lolita community, except the guy version. My boyfriend who hears all of the lolita stories and has been to a couple of meets confirms.
I don't play but my boyfriend just came back from a major tournament and the stories... the stories. It seems like 70% of the people are either autistic or just assholes. And apparently there were a couple of girls there and the guys couldn't stop making dumb comments to him and each other about them. Even he gets tired of the stupidity there.

>> No.7645699

>friend hasn't really been there for me since she got a bf
>been ditching me for him and her life generally ended up revolving around him
>recently ditched me when I needed her, I cried and whatnot because I was feeling really down but I told nobody
>friend breaks up with her bf
>friend expects the world to revolve around her and comfort her as she constantly updates us on how sad she's feeling
>it takes all of me to comfort her but I do

>same friend decided that last con was going to be her last, said so in a big "I'm too mature for this shit now" air
>after her breakup she drops the "oh maybe I'll go to the upcoming con with you guys" bomb
>tfw we've been planning for this con for like at least half a year because it's out of the country
>tfw we've booked our travel and accommodations and our rooms are already maxed out and then some
>too meek to say anything and just sits quietly half nodding

I know she might just feel the need to fill the void with friend time but tbh she's very demanding and has the potential to ruin the trip.

>> No.7645707
File: 150 KB, 820x536, 1364521963964.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

How did you even get into that shit anyways?

>> No.7645709

Anon, please
It's not okay to piss or shit yourself in public when around your friends or acquaintances unless you're all into it. You really can't even be disappointed by their reaction.
By the way you phrased it, they also found out without you telling them, which also means for all they know all this time you've been filling diapers while hanging out with them and that's just ????.

>> No.7645710

>in lolita and play MTG
What have I done to myself.

I stay away from tournaments and stick to casual, but I can't believe how competitive people are even just playing at college or something.

The thing is, though, is that I can wear lolita by myself, but I can't play mtg by myself

>inb4 play online
I like it being a card game. It's more fun collecting, then

>> No.7645714

She sounds pretty naive to me, anon. I don't think she gets it. I really don't understand people like this sometimes. I can imagine her getting really offended or 'triggered' by someone telling her about a kink she doesn't agree with, but then she's got this weird idea others should be open and accepting.

>> No.7645715

Oh god.
>>7645047 here.
The drama.
It gets better.
The cheapskate ita is a 30 something who still lives in her mother's basement and now, "makeup is teh evil!" BRB loling forever.
I know it is no longer relevant to this thread, but fucking hell this is funny as shit.

>> No.7645722

Is it weird that I usually hate people who hate makeup

like, if someone doesn't want to wear it it's fine, but people who are adamantly against it are either neckbeard "false advertising!!" or chicks who think they're special snowflakes

You can not wear makeup and not be a dick about it, it's a thing.

>> No.7645723

>be all short and small despite being in my 20s
>none of my cos friends have my body type
>usually play the qt small chars in group, totally fine with this
>friends want to do a lot more individual stuff
>only find a few things I want to cosplay, all tend to be loli characters because hey they look cute and I fit their look more than other characters
>scared that friends will tease me about only cosplaying lolis

>> No.7645724

They're rich, most likely. I knew mine were.
>tfw when I hear 10 beeps every time they tried to use it because they don't know what to press

>I was hoping they might react similarly
Fuck, anon, this isn't like telling them you like to be spanked and collared. You're shitting and pissing in a diaper. That's practically hobo-tier. Would you want to be sitting next to some person who just shit themselves? Would you like to sit next to a hobo at a tea party, anon? Would you?

I don't care at all that you're into this, but lolita and diapers is just so poor decison-making that I can't even.

>> No.7645728

if you look good and you're happy doing it, I don't think they'd make fun of you

and if they do just be like "Well, it fits my body type/face ect"

>> No.7645732

>tfw no Latina Disney princess to cosplay

People like to pipe up and say "but you have Esmeralda and Kida" but that isn't the same. Firstly they aren't Latin, just tanned, and secondly I just want a randomly extravagant Disney princess dress to make and wear without the first comment being "oh but you'd make such a better Jasmine"

>> No.7645741

Internet. I always kind of liked the idea of having my control stolen from me and bondage sort of stuff, and eventually I found out about the diaper fetish and it clicked really well. Now I wear so often I think my bladder has shrunk.

I dunno, I wanted to try something fun and it became a habit, I figured nobody would know or care since it was hidden from them and wasn't hurting anyone. And it is more convenient, some of the public bathrooms in the parks where we meet are just... super gross, grimy, smelly, awful.

That's all true, I guess I hadn't considered their perspectives on the situation too deeply, but I figured since I wouldn't mind, maybe they wouldn't? I guess that was naive.

>> No.7645743

I imagine you're feeling conflicted because you have compassion for her and don't want to make her feel bad. I don't think you can convince me that she doesn't deserve the feels though. Consider telling her, in kinder words, to fuck off.

>> No.7645747

how the fuck did they 'find out'?

>> No.7645749
File: 73 KB, 400x388, 1392747367393.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>When a "cosfamous" girl cosplays as your waifu and does an incredibly shitty job and it looks utterly inaccurate
>TFW her costume will get more attention than the perfect Mami cosplayers who go unnoticed by the masses.

>> No.7645752

>calls bathrooms gross smelly and awful
>shits pants in public

>"guess I haven't considered their perspectives"
No fucking shit

>> No.7645757

what about chel from el dorado?
not really "extravagant" though. technically not even latin.
Maybe no such princess exists.
Hold that feel, anon.

>> No.7645758

Well I never mess them in public because that's way too obvious and the smell would be impossible to hide.

Is it really that different? I only wet them.

>>would you like to sit next to a hobo at a tea party

Oh my god I'm laughing so much, thanks. I get where you're coming from but... it's really not that messy. The chance for ruining clothes is pretty much the same as it would be normally. They probably didn't understand that though, and they certainly didn't give me a chance to explain.

I'm not like that at all, please don't jump to conclusions! Also, they found out because I left the package open in my room and a few of them came over for a bit after meeting up. I have no siblings and I'm well outside babysitting age so there was no real way to play it off without just telling them.

>> No.7645761

That reminds me. I think JNig could make a pretty good Mami if she wore natural makeup.

>> No.7645764

Spent the past two weeks busting my ass on a cosplay for me and a friend this weekend, but there's so little we have done and too much to finish in two days. I also work full-time so I don't even have the luxury of staying home to finish things.

I feel so bad; we were trying so hard to get them all done, and our biggest projects are the ones that are falling the fastest.

I still have two to finish, too.

>> No.7645766

>didn't give me a chance to explain

You brought your kink into the group and used everyone for it.
You don't deserve to defend yourself.

>> No.7645774

I've cosplayed her before and yeah that was fun, but she isn't a princess at all. I was hoping for the next princess to be latina, but no, we get a Polynesian princess next.

>> No.7645782
File: 102 KB, 640x480, tennant dude what.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I can't help but get massively horny every time I go to a con. So many attractive ladies in one place, I can't help myself. I want to bang them all.

I don't creep on them or anything, I don't even approach them usually. I usually just go home and take it out on my girlfriend (i.e fuck her brains out).

>> No.7645783

I think she can have whatever feels she wants but she shouldn't expect everyone around her to drop their shit to run to her to comfort her. I didn't see it this way at first but when I told my brother what had happened (in brief) he said "sounds like she really likes attention". She has literally been telling everyone about her breakup from the sounds of our last conversation. I want to be empathetic but I can't because I honestly just think she needs to calm the fuck down and figure out what went wrong in their relationship to either fix it or get over it instead of running around to everyone and crying about it - lbr that solves nothing but allowing yourself to indulge in sadness.

My other friends sort of welcomed her when she said she might consider coming to the upcoming con, but I mean what else could they have done right? She doesn't even want to cosplay any more and I feel like if she tags along she won't be enjoying herself and end up making us feel shit about it too since she'll be visibly unhappy and bored.

>> No.7645784

Anon, just do at least one justice and wear it for the whole con. One awesome cosplay is better than three shitty ones.

>> No.7645786

>want to go to more meets in new lolita comm
>next comm is a karaoke meetup
I actually really LOVE karaoke, but I am HORRIBLE at singing to the point other people, including my boyfriend make fun of me (no he's not a dick, he's very sweet, but I asked him and he's honest with me)
I would love to go but I know I am just going to make an ass of myself and I don't want to give the comm that impression of me.

>> No.7645788

Are you shitting me???

Something about this situation stinks

I think you're talking crap

There's no way your 'friends' would get so butthurt over finding a package of diapers in your household. First off, they didn't have to be so anal retentive about what you have in your room cause it makes it sound like they're a bunch of turds

It's your duty to have some self-respect and don't bother brown nosing these girls for their approval. Just keep pushing and dump those friends down the toilet cause you're only going to make more of an ass out of yourself if you continue

This whole diaper fetish situation pisses me off but I guess shit happens

>> No.7645789

I feel bad for your girlfriend

>> No.7645795

Tell her she can go to the next one. You don't spring this kind of shit at the last minute.

>> No.7645796

ahahaha A++

>> No.7645799

I can't help it. My brain is loyal but my dick loves skirts and socks.

>> No.7645804

>my brain is loyal
well it didn't sound like it before

maybe make your girlfriend wear skirts and socks and shit

make a day out of it

>> No.7645806

Well as long as your brain is loyal. What's the saying? She doesn't care where you drive your car as long as you park it in the right garage?

>> No.7645807

How should I ask her?

We've been dating for 2 years and she still doesn't know my fetishes.

Hahaha never heard that one before.

>> No.7645808

Why do I feel like you've cheated on someone before?

What a man-whore

>> No.7645811

After 2 years you guys should really open up about that kind of thing. it's a really tame fetish anyway
>once ask a former bf for his fetish
>half worried, half excited it's something kinky
>"uhhh I like high heels and sweaters"
>are you the most boring person or

>> No.7645812

Well, the two big projects I was trying to finish were for me and a friend, and if I rush trying to finish them then I'll be stuck with a shitty cosplay anyway. The two that need finishing are smaller projects, shouldn't take more than a day anyway.

We have other cosplays that are already (mostly) done, but I just feel so bad that I didn't get to finish our big ones that we were striving for.

>> No.7645813

I know it's tame... just embarrassing to ask. I dunno. I would feel awkward telling her.

>> No.7645815

my fetish is fucking while the girl is still wearing her panties, just pulled to the side

god i must be boring

>> No.7645817

I'm >>7645807 and I've done that before. Apparently it's awkward for the girl. I don't give a fuck though, it's hot as hell.

>> No.7645820

Paypal sucks so ass like its going out of style

>> No.7645822

Seconding what >>7645811 said,
it's pretty tame so maybe when you're in the mood or something you could bring up like a plan to dress up or something

also the "uhhh i like basic boring things" from boyfriends
I feel that bored feel

>> No.7645824

That's still more way interesting and sexy than sweaters. Like that sounds like what bill cosby would have as a fetish or something.

>> No.7645828
File: 132 KB, 960x720, f38.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My comm just feels so draining at the moment.

New members not willing to do their own research, flouncing, creating their own ita-tastic splinter groups because boohoo older members mean to me (not willing to listen or take advice)!!!!!! Then someone keeps trying to start crap within the comm by shit posting members here.

That old chestnut.

Shit is getting really tedious.

>> No.7645831

There are a couple of ways. Does she ever wear short skirts or socks? If she does always encourage her to leave them on. If she doesn't
>you know what would be really hot? if you wore some cute thigh highs, maybe a short skirt
Or you can just
>Hey anon's gf, do you have any fantasies about me?
If she says no keep pressing her because there's got to be something, if not make her feel like she should have one. And then when she opens up says you'd like it if she wore short skirts and socks.

>> No.7645840

I don't use the term "slut" lightly. But goddammit it would be hard to not use it in this situation.

>> No.7645846

I agree anon.

>> No.7645847

Yo, not that anon, but sweaters are fucking hot. Not just because they're warm, but because they're fucking hot.

High heels are awesome too. I fucking love high heels.

>> No.7645849

I'll give it a try... that would be so hot.

>> No.7645856
File: 139 KB, 1280x720, 1397084574694.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I like you anon

>> No.7645896

Go for it! Everybody has something they like. Even if she just likes having missionary with the lights out, that's still a turn on. So she definitely has something and then there's your opportunity to talk about what you like. Just don't bring up the thing about cosplayers lol. Good luck anon

>> No.7645916

welp, this thread managed to autosage in less than 15 hours

>> No.7645933

Boys I hang out with make jokes about me being a lesbian all the time
"oh your going over to so and so's house, are you going to measure boob sizes/practice kissing /have a pillow fight in your underwear"
stuff like that. my boyfriend thinks it hilarious and jokes about it too.
I do nothing but egg them on.

That feel when my feels towards girls are not always entirely platonic.

Over time its just gotten worse...

Nobody knows about it but super old childhood friend that I haven't seen in years.

My boyfriend is smart enough to figure it out, but is probably too close to the situation or looks the other way.

Not that I want to break up with my boyfriend and run off to be a lesbian but the more the years go by the worse it feels to hide my attraction to other girls.

I just want someone to know.

>> No.7645999

this internet man is my favorite internet man

>> No.7646013

Honestly, I like both the casual and competitive sides, so I have decks that play to each of those. If I'm playing against total casual decks, I whip out my Rebels deck because Amrou Scout is cute. If I'm against someone talking shit, I pull out my "I'm a sorcerer, Harry" deck and sling around 20 lightning bolts on turn 4. It's all about what you surround yourself with.

>> No.7646014

Autism spectrum? It might explain a lot.

>> No.7646089

>It's sad because if the genders were reversed it would be so fucking obvious, wouldn't it.

Right? That's what sucks about it.

Anyway, I had a great therapist a while back who helped me learn to ignore a lot of it and talk back to the stuff I could talk back to. My most recent one and I focused on slightly different stuff (I was getting over a breakup), but that was only short term since it was through my grad school's university. At this point I can ignore her shit for the most part (a couple comments on social media don't faze me), but hearing what my dad's going through yesterday made me feel guilty all over again. I'm trying to find a long term therapist right now, and I plan on talking to them more about this. especially since I think a lot of what she said to me in my teenage years has negatively affected my self-esteem in the long term.

>> No.7646183

Welp, I posted in the wrong thread.
Here we go again:

>trying to get my driver's license
>go to a licensing center a while back to sort it out
>some customer has a medical emergency whilst I'm there, all the workers are pretty flustered
>fast forward to now, and I realize I don't have the log book I was meant to be given
>swear to god I never got one to begin with
>realize I need to fill out forms and pay money to get a 'replacement' one
>be pretty pissed that I have to pay to replace something I was never given in the first place

And board related feels:
>changing up my wardrobe
>a big package of new stuff was meant to arrive today
>miss the delivery guy by a couple of minutes
>my only chance to pick up the package is tomorrow
>super busy atm, so I won't be able to open it until the day after

God damnit. I just want to open my pretty clothes

>> No.7646221

Anon, it's karaoke. Everyone sounds shit at karaoke. I know professional choral singers that sound shit at karaoke. I'm sure there'll be other people at the meet who are just as bad as you, and everyone will be too drunk to care anyhow.

>> No.7646395

>coworker goes home sick
>connecting store says they'll help me close
>watch me struggle
>walk off when they see what I'm doing
>running around like a headless chook
>dump my clean dishes on dirty surface
>finally turn around and tell them to take rubbish down
>tell me I don't deserve to be mad that they didn't keep up with the helping bit and I had to tell them to do their job that should've been done hours before
>don't get paid overtime
>stayed back 40 minutes after my scheduled time to do my sides banking
>all talking their language about me
>upset that I wasted an hour of Cosplay time after work doing something they said they'd help with
Why do people think watching constitutes helping?
Sage for rage. I really wanted to start my cosplays after work. I have 18 days til I fly out.

>> No.7646544
File: 303 KB, 500x753, T204Z9XQFXXXXXXXXX_!!10274962.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Did anyone get their hands on this?
They sold out in my size/colour already...

>> No.7646633

This happened to me and it took eight months to sort out, with me calling them every other day. They literally had to sit at a desk, wait for the notification to come through and click okay. No one in the fucking office had an attention span to sort it out.

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