Shop til you drop

[Anonymous No.7373278]

Has anyone else finding themselves on the slippery slope of shopping addiction? I understand that Lolita fashion is a collector’s hobby. But I have to distance myself from other lolitas. When I used to chat with the other women in my community, they would constantly link me to cute items or ask me to do Group Orders with them.

It seems like these days I’m very lonely and in my free time I idly browse AP, Meta and various other sites and just impulse buy goods because I have nothing else really occupying my attention. Do you guys have stories to share of people who have slipped off the deep end and drop money on brand or cosplay (on PT levels of wastefulness)?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you believed you were a shopaholic? How did you deal with it? Or is it still a constant struggle?

[Anonymous No.7373295]

Oh god I'm so close to shopaholic I can taste it.
It's not even big items, it's just I'll find really good deals and I'll pick up like 30 items at once for maybe 70 dollars....then I'll spend 40...then I'll do it again and again.

I just keep finding cheap cute things, or maybe an item I've been after for a while.

I just buy it, feel awesome, and then feel guilty.

[Anonymous No.7373302]

I'm in the same boat anon.

I find myself idling browsing auctions and shopping sites almost everyday, and I'll impulse buy things. I can actually feel myself getting stressed and overwhelmed while I'm doing it as well. Then I receive the items, have a brief moment of euphoria, then shove it neatly into my closet to then eventuate in me looking for new shit to purchase. All for this tiny window of gratification!

Fortunately I still save money everytime I get paid, but I feel I could very easily slip into plateauing my savings, or worse, eating them all away.

What I've been doing to deal with this is actually avoiding CGL (it sort of "inspires" me to buy), setting myself weekly expenditure limits, or just avoiding the internet in general, and trying to occupy my time with more productive things like socialising more, cooking, drawing, reading, exercise or just watching lots of movies/TV shows.

It works if you just stop browsing online stores and looking at pretty co-ords.

[Anonymous No.7373304]

I have a realistic budget that I adhere to, strict criteria for items that go well with what I already have and then a list of carefully planned future coordinates, allowing for new releases that may be suitable. I do not usually buy outside of these requirements. My wardrobe coherence has also improved quite a lot as a whole since I started being stricter and pickier. Maybe that might help you?

[Anonymous No.7373306]

The only reason I'm not a shopping addict is because my worthless mother is a shopping addict and I refuse to let myself get that way. I'm a grad student, but I've started taking small jobs outside of work to fund cosplay/lolita. I have the urge to buy something a lot, but I'm pretty good at not overspending (for now).

[Anonymous No.7373307]

I actually used to be a bit like that. I used to be part of a comm that bought new coords almost every month and I too would keep up with this. At one point I had a huge sweet lolita wardrobe and barely wore most of it because I simply did not have the time. I've left the comms for now but still have 4 good coords in case of cons or meet ups not to mention my wallet now thanks me. Made a hefty profit selling all my stuff and felt good when I saw the sets being used by others. I think it all depends on how the clothes make you feel and the environment, as soon as I left that comm I was finally able to control my spending better as I no longer had to fret about wearing the same outfits to new meets. They used to make comments like "Oh your wearing THAT coord again?!" Truthfully it was only a small comm but their attitudes stunk.

[Anonymous No.7373310]

Well, I know I have the potential of becoming a shopaholic. I usually fill up carts, and then just never pay for stuff. Just looking for deals make me happy, but I really need to do it less because it does take a lot of my free time.

[Anonymous No.7373308]

>>7373295
Yeah… these ‘sales’ will be the end of me. 50% off is all well and good… but if I need to spend at least 200 dollars to qualify for free shipping… it’s hard on the wallet after a while. I guess it’s a good thing we are at least self-aware? It sort of worries me when I see anons on /cgl/ legitimately ask what would be a ‘reasonable amount of debt’?

[Anonymous No.7373318]

>>7373278
You sound exactly like me, can we be best friends?
I'm very solitare and I have no friends and do nothing outside of lolita meets. I don't have a job and never did (I don't know how, it's like people don't even read online apps) and my schooling is done all online. I live in my parent's basement and I do nothing but browse auction sites and play video games. I think I've became somewhere between a hoarder and a shopping addict. I buy everything when I first see it, and I'm very cheap too, so it kills me when I later find someone else selling the same thing for less. Currently I just spent $3,000 on brand in the last week... It's all of my money, but hey, money's worthless until you spend it. I hate myself and I'm considering getting a sugar daddy or camming or something to help.

[Anonymous No.7373320]

Initially when I got into lolita I was super thrifty because of being a student and not wanting to be like one of my friends who was constantly asking her parents for rent, bills etc even though she was getting enough money to cover it from her job + loan. Then I got a job and all hell broke loose - I definitely got in the cycle of buying for the sake of buying for a while, and then got to a point where I was getting so much stuff I wasn't even opening parcels as they arrived or trying things on. I realised that it was an issue as I was getting the rush from clicking the "purchase" button and decided to only buy things that I really loved or wanted for my wardrobe. Thankfully I have a decent job and can just buy things I want as they appear.

[Anonymous No.7373326]

>>7373318
Please tell me you are a troll.

[Anonymous No.7373328]

>>7373302
Are you me? Yesterday was a real slap in the face. I made two impulse purchases back to back and I went through the motions you described above. Thankfully when I do this with non-lolita purchases I have the opportunity to return the items.
But you are still saving, so it isn’t too bad. Haha, right?
I guess you are right though… first there used to just be taobao threads. Now there are ebay, taobao, amazon, and various other shopping threads which are expressly posted to show off what was purchased or just linking to all sorts of kawaii goodies. I guess I should just start ‘hiding’ those threads… or just get a social life other than browsing /cgl/ all of the time.

[Anonymous No.7373333]

>sudden influx of money from various jobs
>hmm, should I spend it on cosplay or finally get into lolita?
>eventually decide to work on another cosplay for PAX East so I have something to wear on all three days
>wake up today
>dress I've been eyeing for six months is being sold in the right length, size and colorway
>can't justify spending $400 in like three days
>mfw

[Anonymous No.7373349]

I don't consider myself a shopaholic, but I'm very careful not to become one because I sometimes spend a lot of time browsing internet shops.
I don't buy clothes anymore, but things that make my life easier like household supplies etc and now I feel much better. I make coords with what I have, and I'm happy.

What I found that helps is channeling your itchy shopper palms into something else. With household products I can clearly discern whether I need something or not much easier than with clothes.
Otherwise I put everything into an Excel spreadsheet and organize when and how.

[Anonymous No.7373361]

>>7373349
Oh, I forgot to add - the thing with clothes, one that particularly makes you want to buy something, is its (un)availability. Not a lot of clothes end up being resold, but household items do. If someone offers you something that is a fashion item, if you don't buy it NOW it's lost forever and that's mostly what gets people to buy something (and retailers know it). For example, there's a weekender bag I like that might go off the racks any day, and I probably won't ever find anything like it. But if I bought some vacuum bags, I could buy them at any time really.

[Anonymous No.7373384]

Oh God, I have so many problems with this. I feel so guilty to spend most of my paychecks on clothes and especially sweet lolita since I wear it very rarely. I live in a student flat I share with my bf so it's really really cheap but I'm afraid I'll spend more than I earn when I'll have to face a real rent.

Thankfully I got the habit of paying first the rent and putting a bit to save, then I look at my account and say "I won't get below x amount, so it leaves me x to spend" so at least my account can only grow a teeny bit. Although last month were Sales so I ended up spending over 300€ at the baby shop.

It's true I do it out of boredom so I tried to direct my shopping hunger towards decoys like games where you collect clothes. Anyone has tips and tricks to resist the pressure of buying ?

[Anonymous No.7373392]

>>7373302
>>7373328
>>7373278
This is me.
I wish I had gone through some sort of scrimping/saving phase in lolita where I really saved up for lolita, but unfortunately I've just blown all of my money from my part time job and excess financial aid (I live in a really cheap apartment with my boyfriend, so living expenses are low) on over 5k worth of lolita in the past 9 months or so.
The worst part is that I don't even feel like I have a solid wardrobe.

[Anonymous No.7373397]

I'm beginning to have a shopping problem. I graduated from school and haven't found a job yet, so I'm spending most of my days in the house since I don't have much of a social life. Being in the house all day makes me depressed so I try going out a few times a week to keep from feeling too bad. However, there isn't much to do in my area besides go to shops. Since I don't have an income, I've found shops that are extremely cheap (I once found a three pack of scotch tape for 10 cents) and try to keep a limit of the things I buy. Most of the time, I only spend around $5 at the most, but doing that a few times a week really adds up. This week I really went overboard. I used to wear lolita, but I haven't since I moved a few years ago since I live in a bad area and I worry that something will happen. So typically when I buy clothes, I don't spend much money anymore unless I'm treating myself to a brand name piece, which isn't often.
Anyway, whiny story aside, I feel better knowing I'm not the only one spending excessively. I'm a bit glad this thread came along so I could let it all out. Hopefully we can get ourselves out of this before it puts us in a very bad financial state!

[Anonymous No.7373400]

>>7373384
I feel the same way anon. I live with my parents, and am worried that I won't be able to pay for college and an apartment, but if I need money I'll sell my dresses. And I only buy used off japanese auctions, so it isn't tooo bad.

[Anonymous No.7373406]

Sorry, this is long.

1

I know I am going to get shit for this, and believe me I already feel like a shitty person. But I need to get this out somewhere. I don't even know who to tell or how to say this irl.

I am definitely a shopaholic. I probably have some kind of obsessive compulsive problem as well because I also feel I am addicted to certain things about the internet (namely email and tumblr, I get antsy if I don't check them often) on top of checking sale sites like YJP, Amazon, Ebay, lolita sales, and such.

I have been kind of obsessed with making/having money to spend since I was around 14. My family was lower/middle class when I was younger so while I got some things I wanted, there were many times I didn't. (And shouldn't have, because spoiling is bad.) Then when I got closer to 17 my dad got a huge pay raise (6 digits a year) and we basically became really rich.

My dad and mom completely support me presently. They pay all my bills, rent, food, and also for the shit I buy. They also give me extra money to cover food for my boyfriend too without me asking and don't even ask him to pay rent while living with me. I work part time because I feel like I should so I am not a complete shit of a person (or moreso than I already am) but I make close to minimum wage. I didn't have a job until I was 25. After dicking around doing nothing since high school I am going to univeristy to get a good paying job/career but I am embarrassingly old to have my parents pay for just about everything. (I'm 28.) And I take advantage of it and I can't stop my POS self.

They say don't worry about it, I don't have to work, money is not a problem, and I will never have to worry about money, but I do because they make the money, not me. Even though I have over $100,000 in my savings account alone I still am really antsy about it. And I take it out in the worst way, by shopping. I feel guilty as fuck but I can't stop myself.

[Anonymous No.7373409]

>>7373392
I am ashamed to admit that I spend my money all on shit for me. Live with my parents. No bills to pay. Just food, gas, cell phone and car insurance.

My part time job money? My tax return money? My excess financial aid money from school? All on kawaii crap.

Sometimes I wonder if being a drug addict would be cheaper/make me happier. Because I feel nothing but guilt about having a handle on my money.

[Anonymous No.7373411]

>>7373406

2

Since I was 14 I have been obsessed with collecting. I got hardcore into so many different collector communities where merchandise was the fun of it all. Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Doujinshi, MLP, and BJDs just to name a few. And now lolita. The crappy thing is I have broken even or majorly profited on every collecting hobby I have been in. Things I bought when I was into the hobbies went for 2-5 times the price when I was leaving them, or at least held their value. I never even intended for this to happen, or deliberately scalped, it just did. So when I left the hobbies, I wasn't out anything, or profited handsomely. But now, I feel like my spending is out of control, especially after the reinforcement of "I can at least get back what I paid" for a lot of what I buy.

In the last year, I bought 10 lolita dresses, ranging from $150-350. Technically my parents paid for them all, even though I used profits from selling other collectables to buy about half of them, since they gave me the money in the first place. And then I spent thousands last year on other things like regular clothes, accessories, cute toys, and so much stuff. I do purge my things and sell them off when I feel like I am amounting too many items, but good god I feel as though I buy like a hoarder sometimes. I am always searching for something to buy. A lot of my friends have a lot more crap that I do or spend their money on eating meals out or coffee or movies (I don't spend money on anything other than food and online shopping) but I feel like I spend so much more dollar wise than they do. And my parents let me. Never ever say I can't.

[Anonymous No.7373413]

>>7373411

3

I hate this though. I hate I am like this and want to stop, but I don't know how. I tried to set limits, I tried budgeting and writing everything down, I tried to do other activities that didn't relate to collecting hobbies like art, cooking, socializing, sports... none of it matters. None of it makes me feel anything, just empty. I only feel good when I am looking for something I want (at present, dresses I want), or finding awesome things to buy. I really need help. I am scaring myself. But I don't know how to stop. Especially since on some level, I don't want to. But I feel so gross and guilty about myself. I am also not very happy. I am happiest when with people but I get sick of them fast, and am super judgmental and don't like being around people because after I point I only see their flaws and want to get away. But buying stuff doesn't make me happy either. Jesus christ I am sorry this is so long but I really need help and I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous No.7373414]

>>7373413
Why not focus on collecting - collecting money, that is?
Compete with yourself on how much you save up each month. A lot of lolis here are so bad at managing money. Open a savings account, one that makes you pay a fee for withdrawing money. Set up your account so that you automatically put 20 or 10% in there every month. You won't even see it.

[Anonymous No.7373427]

>>7373414
I should probably mention, that when I want something (whether big like a dress or small like a collector's item that is hard to find), it consumes my mind. I can function and do other things, but finding it is in the back of my mind. Sometimes I dream about buying it, and in my free time I score the internet looking for it until I either find it or give up. And as another anon said above, when I get it I am happy for a few seconds and that's it. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I look at all my amazing things I have bought, they make me happy and excited, but not truly happy I think. And since I am weirdly obsessive about buying, forcing myself to not buy something I want makes me want it all the more. :(

I really appreciate the advice, but there is no appeal to collecting money for me. I used to do that until I was about 16, saved all my bday/christmas money and spent it on something I really wanted, but now I hate it and have this terrible I WANT IT NOW OR I'LL OBSESS OVER IT mentality. It's terrible.

[Anonymous No.7373436]

>>7373328
I just feel like I could've saved thousands of dollars if I just reduced the amount of shit I buy in a year. If I were earning maybe $10-20k more, I wouldn't feel so bad about my spending habits, but I'm trying to save up so I can travel and I'm worried that if my shopping gets out of hand I will ruin my future.

Thinking about it now, it's pretty irrational of me because I have more than enough money to go and travel right this moment.

I think a lot of the guilt I feel has to do with my upbringing - I wasn't a spoilt child like many of my friends, and didn't have all the cool new things, but weirdly, I was fairly complacent with that. My parents are very anti-materialistic and were frugal for most of my childhood, my mother was especially controlling revolving around my clothes/appearance and practicality. They would probably be pretty upset with me if they knew what I was up to now, even though when I've gone to visit them with my pretty dresses, they always think they're lovely.

[Anonymous No.7373462]

>>7373427
Do what I do, if you feel like you want something,, put it in a list or something and don't touch it for. You probably won't want 1/2 of the things you listed after that.

I've had times where I forgot to link the things I wanted and I couldn't even remember what most of them were, nor did I feel that bad about the fact that I probably wouldn't find them again. Then I'd continue to find the one or two things I remembered and wanted.

[Anonymous No.7373471]

I am slowly recovering from shopping addiction.
The only reason I have this addiction is because of how exclusive lolita is. I have a big problem with buying used clothes, so if i like something, i have to buy it then and there otherwise i will never own it. Unless it gets rereleased.

[Anonymous No.7373476]

>>7373462
This, I'd actually feel relieved if something I wanted was missing from the list because it made my budgeting easier.

Also, a lot of you have little to worry about. I used to be like that as well, and after a while I grew up and stopped caring for lolita altogether. Now I'm a normalfag/borderline effay who comes here for generic jfashion and makeup posts.

Most of the things you say here seem to be fueled by panic and fear and trust me, most people are like this now. If they don't want lolita, they want to buy the new keyboard or gaming rig or game. It's normal when you're exposed to that shit all the time because a part of you imagines you living the life in the ads if you bought this or that product. It's supposed to look shiny and cute to get you to live life in the movies.

The trick is to imagine those same experiences with the stuff you already have, and spend money on trips and classes and skills rather than stuff.

[Anonymous No.7373489]

I make 110K a year but I spend such a ridiculous amount of money on cute things and things I don't really need... It's not enough to the point where it is a huge money problem but I just can't stop buying random stuff all the time!
Things always seem so cute or unique or cool and I always see such cute stuff on /cgl/ too so I always end up buying a bunch of things that I don't need.
I'm not hoarder status but it is getting hard to organize all of these things because I've bought so much.

[Anonymous No.7373492]

I feel amazing getting rid of things, like I'm stronger than material possessions, and have only a few things that are precious to me. Then I go out an buy a bunch more cheap shit, and donate the old stuff. rinse/repeat.

[Anonymous No.7373493]

Yes, oh god yes, and it's been getting gradually worse and worse over the last 2 years. But I'm getting bad about buying regular clothes though. Like all the time I'm ordering something. And right now my weakness is lace and chiffon things.
I've got no room in my room for my clothes. Closet is PACKED. Got a free standing clothing rack, packed. Got over the door hangers on both the closet door and the bedroom door, packed. Clothing piled on top of the clothing rack, and piled on top of a storage bin. I could go 3 months and not wear the same outfit twice, yet I still keep buying more and I don't even wear everything I get.
My lolita buying is still under control though and I don't buy a ton since I only wear it around once a month.

Luckily I can afford it for right now, but I really need to get a hold of myself because I want a lot more of my money to go into savings. You never know when shit could happen.

[Anonymous No.7373495]

I'm fortunate enough that spending gobs of money regularly is just not in my temperament. I have made a lot of impulse buys, though. That's what I find dangerous about myself. I'll literally plan for months over a Taobao order, but then I'll turn around and drop $50 on an overpriced plush at an anime convention or $350 on a brand JSK that I kinda like. Most of my impulse buys are made in physical locations, which I think is a big factor. If I'm physically going somewhere, my resolve to not spend will wear thin really quickly. Online shopping lets me plan, reflect, remove, replan, reflect again, add, remove, etc. Still, sometimes I just kind of say "fuck it". It's worrisome, but at least I don't have a lot of buyer's remorse.

I can't speak from experience for the more severe, compulsive shopping habits but my tips I guess would be like:
> Set aside income specifically for leisure spending
> Avoid physical consumption locations it it will trigger your addiction
> Use cash to pay for leisure things, it makes it easier to track your spending and to see how much you're spending. Once it's gone, it's gone.
> Reflect on why you feel the need to shop
> Make lists when you have something you need to buy
> Shop with a goal
> If online, put things in your cart (assuming the online shop has a cart or something similar), leave it over night, look the next day and see if you still want these things
> Seek treatment if severe

[Anonymous No.7373500]

I have impulse control issues, on top of terrible anxiety and depression - shopping tends to give me temporary relief from the anxiety and depression and is compounded by my lack of inhibition. I suppose it's better than becoming an alcoholic or gambler, but I know I have potential for a bad addiction.
I purposefully do not have a credit card (only a debit card) so I can only spend what I actually have. I've also spoken to my therapist about this, and she said it's alright to indulge a tiny bit as long as I don't go beyond my means, which I tend to be ok at.

Unfortunately, it's a bad cycle: get depressed/anxious about lack of money, shop to relieve the feelings temporarily, get more depressed/anxious.
I need a better outlet.

[Anonymous No.7373507]

i recently find myself very close to the edge.......

i've always been too lazy to learn how to use an SS until recently
now that my boyfriend had to move closer to his job for a bit, i am home alone and bored as fuck and for the first time, experienced the rush of auctions... shit

[Anonymous No.7373512]

I have a job now to actually buy lolita, but I do a lot of impulse buying for small kawaii stuff and food. I work at a grocery store so I might buy a drink and snack for break or buy a few things after my shift.
But then I still don't have food to take for lunch so I've been eating out a lot as well and that's really eaten my account (pun intended)
Worst part is I don't have to pay for anything. I don't have a car (because I haven't saved up enough to buy one and be able to afford insurance + gas), and I live with my parents.

I keep an ok amount of money always in my account and right now I'm very close to that mark as I recently went shopping, but it was mainly for new bras and some new clothes. I think I'll have to create a strict list of food that will be enough until next paycheck, and then I can start deciding on the next t-shirt or whatever I want to buy online. Until then I'll be looking at things online.

[Anonymous No.7373578]

I am a student and still live with my parents, so all the money I earn from my part time job can be spent without being worried about bills/rent/food etc. I do not have any student loans. I always think that I am in the perfect situation to start saving some money; it would be so easy in theory.

But I never do.
Instead, I spend all my money (around 400-500 dollars a month) on stuff.

Mostly Lolita clothes. I adored the fashion for a long time and was so glad to be finally able to purchase it, that I bought more and more and more. Iif I have money, I am franatically browsing sale sites because I feel like I absolutley HAVE to buy anything; and I will most likely impulse buy anything I like in that moment, and regret it a few hours later.

I also often buy clothes for a person that I wish to be.
I just bought a $200 dress in a colourway I do not really like and that I will hardly be wearing because it is so pompous.
I have a $300 Mary Magdalene dress coming my way that would fit me if I would just lose those 15 pounds I wanted to lose the last 2 years but never made an effort to lose.I have a $250 Victorian Maiden dress in my closet for which I would also need to lose that weight. And a $200 Baby JSK..
And even the clothes that I do like end up sitting in my closet forever because I almost never wear them. All my friends moved aways and I hardly ever see them; I did not make new friends at University and do not wear casual Lolita to Uni because I am already socialy awkward and Special Snowflake clothes will not make it easier to engage with new people. I do not have a boyfriend. I do not have a comm.
All in all, I rarely go out and am able to dress up.

I try to reduce my spendings on other stuff to a minimum, I finally sold some items that do not fit (and am constantly looking to sell more to buy more), I only spend the money I have.
But I feel I am on a verge of developing a problem. Or having one, haha.

Pic related, edited to fit my life

[Anonymous No.7373585]

I've run my credit card up way higher than where I feel comfortable with it being. It's not maxed out, but back during the summer and spring of last year, I made a lot of irresponsible purchases and bought a lot of things. And then I began using my credit card instead of my debit card for everyday purchases. I haven't been able to pay it off. I pay off what I spend every month. I contemplate selling off half my wardrobe but then I feel attached to everything and can't bear to do it. "I'll get this paid off eventually" and I have a nervous breakdown. It's not worth it. Ugh. I keep buying more shit instead of paying off my card even though I'm using money that I actually have. I spend money I make on sales of dresses on new dresses. I'm getting nowhere.

I mean, I pay it on time and monthly, and I pay my other bills fine. I just can't get past this hunk of debt I've accumulated over stupid dresses I hardly get to wear but love too much.

[Anonymous No.7373587]

>>7373427
If it's really that bad have you considered going to therapy? It's not like money seems to be an object.

[Anonymous No.7373592]

>>7373278
is this a picture from a deerstalkers video lol
if so, i think this is alanah, who seriously seems to have a shopping problem
I GET IT, people have jobs and their own money and own choices and volition, but girls getting burando every few weeks

[Anonymous No.7373604]

ah the worst thing was getting my first dress
maybe a little overpriced since i wanted a brand new one

so it arrives, i open it, "oh lovely," hang it up and do nothing
i might have ruined things for myself by being a lurker for years and years, hyping myself up about jfashion, then finally getting it and... "oh lovely..."
i have a few more dresses in the mail, hoping maybe other colors or styles will excite me a bit more? maybe i haven't gotten my dream dress yet?

[Anonymous No.7373609]

At what point does one realise its an addiction?

> It's eating your bank account/putting in debt
> That you think of it when you want to calm/distress?

I'm currently the latter, not breaking the bank yet but would it still count as a problem or can I still go my merry way?

[share the feels No.7373621]

>>7373578
>Dat life schedule
>No loli friends
>No loli at uni
>No boyfriend
>No comm

girl c'mere.

[Anonymous No.7373629]

>>7373302
I'm really glad I'm not the only one, haha. I actually don't even have a job right now so most of the money I get isn't really "mine". I live off student loans, scholarships and money my dad gives me, basically. I don't have any bills or anything really, so I end up with quite a bit of cash. I spend way too much time looking at stuff online, and then I end up buying some of it and even though it's all relatively cheap, it ends up adding up to a lot. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to pay back my loans and wasn't trying to save up to travel but if I don't stop I'm going to dig myself into a very deep hole.

>eoncell cannot

[Anonymous No.7373637]

>>7373406
im actually a bit surprised your family can afford you
6 digits its not really a lot to be honest

that being said, i am a shit person in my own right

[Anonymous No.7373640]

another appealing aspect is the resale value
i know you dont always get back what you paid
but it kind of diminishes the guilt
"oh i spent hundreds this week? well it'll be okay. i can sell whatever doesn't fit or look right" ... and then sell none of it

[Anonymous No.7373736]

I've recently noticed that my spending habits are getting to be a bit much. I've been saving up for God knows what forever and just sitting on money, then a few months ago it's like somebody yanked the plug out and I've been going nuts. What's stupid is that even though I've been saying "Fuck it" I'm still fighting the urge to drop money on certain cosplays that I've had planned for literally years, as well as things like dresses that I've had my eyes on.

I've been trying to stay responsible and comparison shop for J-Fashion stuff, but it's getting hard. I haven't added anything to my wardrobe in years, and I'm so ready to fling stuff out and start all over with new clothes.

[Anonymous No.7373742]

>>7373736
same, anon. i've been saving up since i got my first job. first i was saving since my family is not super rich and i thought i would need it for emergency. then my mom was like, 'its your money, do what you want' so i was confused and guilty? then i said fuck it. fuck everything. bye money.

[Anonymous No.7373788]

I have a pretty sizeable shopping problem, especially if I get stressed or am having a bad day. Buying a pair of shoes or a cute purse (or a new dress if it's a REALLY bad day) usually gives me a temporary relief - it's like a band-aid I guss. Not exactly good and gonna seek help for it, but I haven't broken my bank yet. My bank's been in the single digits, but never the negatives for lolita.

Story kind of related, happened today:
>boyfriend is new to driving, doesn't have a car
>I let him drive mine for practice, as long as I'm in the passenger's seat or it's like a few blocks away
>going to the grocery store and he starts the engine, starts backing out
>suddenly my car practically dies on us and it fucking SPEEDS down the driveway and into the road
>he instinctively makes a sharp turn
>on my side we hit the side of our neighbor's electrical pole
>I think I remember screaming like crazy thinking we done fucked up
>pole is fine, no damage, car has a dent but repairable
>we spend time calming down, I drive now
>at the grocery store I tell him I'm damn glad I've spent most of my money this month or else today would be one HELL of a spending spree

If he hadn't have turned sharply when he did we would have ran directly into it. My car would've been wrecked something fierce and we'd be out of electricity... we got as lucky as we could in that situation. Sorry for sharing something slightly unrelated, but DAMN I want to buy something lmao.

[Anonymous No.7373805]

>>7373592
She lives at home and has a very decent job, from what I've heard. Considering the average wage in Australia for a shitty retail job is $21 after tax, getting brand every few weeks is very doable. Especially when building a wardrobe!

I estimated to have around $8,000+ on brand which took me less than a years and a half to acquire while still having a crapload saved in the bank and only working 15 hours a week as a checkout chick, while living away from home.

Straya.

[Anonymous No.7373819]

>>7373587
I feel ashamed asking for therapy because my parents would have to pay. I have been in therapy (for other problems) before when I was a teen, it cost them so much money. Thousands. I feel too guilty to ask for it again. I really am awful.

[Anonymous No.7373823]

>>7373637
Oh, it's just my dad who makes that much a year. My mom makes close to six digits now too.

Why do you think you are a shit person in your own right anon? You can be much worse than me. :(

[Anonymous No.7373831]

Just want to say, Lolita is probably the best thing you could be a "shopaholic" for.
Not encouraging destructive behaviours at all, but at least Lolita more or less retains its value.
If shit were to hit the fan, you have collateral, something to fall back on.

If I hadn't invested my money into Lolita I'd of probably spent it on other shit that I'd never be able to get rid of at a similar value.

So yeah, it's not all bad. If you play your cards right, sometimes it works in your favour and you end up getting more than you paid in the first place.

Just my two scents, I hope nobody will be encouraged to worsen their habits now. >__>

[Anonymous No.7373832]

>>7373578
OP, are you me? I also constantly get new dresses that I WANT to be able to wear, but which either don't suit me or don't fit.

[Anonymous No.7373843]

>>7373278
Yes. I have really bad anxiety/depression and I've struggled with binge-eating for a long time. Now that I'm trying to stop that, I've kind of gone to binge-shopping as a replacement, and it's gotten to the point where it's barely sustainable anymore and I've actually started to dig into my savings.

Whenever I'm lonely or stressed I start browsing shopping sites and just put things in my cart, and then go to checkout. Sometimes I can talk myself out of it, but most of the time not. Besides cute clothes/deco stuff and lolita, I also buy a lot of camera gear and craft supplies, which is bad because I always find a way to justify it.

Since yesterday I'm actually trying to steer clear of buying anything new for a month or so to get it under control, but it's really hard and I feel guilty because it seems like such a petty and first world problem to have.

[Anonymous No.7373845]

I have a lot of disposable income and my free time revolves around shopping, browsing, etc. I'm trying to buy more "quality" pieces instead of just amassing a ton of shit from the mall that I wear once and never again. At least with quality pieces they have resale value, and I don't have any issues with selling something if I'm not wearing it.

At times I feel like I can't really stop, but on the other hand it makes me happy and i have not amassed a lot of debt or anything - my credit cards remain paid off, etc. I dont feel that i'm "living beyond my means" but I do feel that I really can't stop buying. I try not to beat myself up though. I know about every 10 years or so I go through a purge where I get rid of everything and start over, so some thrift store will benefit from my addiction some day :P

[Anonymous No.7373851]

>>7373805
I need to move back home, jesus. (Aussie living in NZ for the past few years)

[Anonymous No.7373938]

>>7373805
That is more than I make before tax with a college degree and professional license in the US. And yes, I know that's AUD but I popped it in a converter and it is still more...I guess at least our minimum wage finally went up? I used to work my ass off for 5.15 USD an hour

[Anonymous No.7373943]

>>7373805
do you do uni?
also whats your rent like?
do you drive a car?
im getting paid $18, but i live at home and stopped getting youth allowance yet my wardrobes about $3000 in the year i had...
just wanna know why im not half your result if im getting the same hours as you, and live at home?

[Anonymous No.7373946]

>>7373578
oh god, seagulls, I live by that schedule. We are all the same, we are one... we...

captcha: Pathology

[Anonymous No.7373956]

I'm curious, do you guys have favorite online shops?

[Anonymous No.7374032]

>>7373943
Yes, my partner pays for rent as he earns more (I pay for groceries and utilities so it comes to $200 or so a week for me) and yes.
I get a living out of home youth allowance so mine is probably considerably more than yours (forgot about that aspect.. Oops). I quit my job some months ago so I'm actually poor right now.

Maybe I exaggerated the time period? I honestly thought it was a year and a half, but possibly 2? 2.5? I kept leaving and coming back to Lolita back when so I've lost track.

[Anonymous No.7374035]

My problem is that I never had many clothes to begin with.
Sob story (sorry about that) but my parents are really rich and when I was 8 years old they bought an apartment for me and my 11-year-old sister in which we lived by ourselves.
Things deteriorated quickly.
I had the money but didn't buy any furniture, I only ever bought chocolate or frozen pizzas to eat, never changed broken light bulbs, showered like once a week etc.
I obviously never bought clothes either.
But then a major depression hit me at 23 when I was a senior at university because I didn't know where my life is going and since then... I have spent about 10k $ on clothes.
I had the money in savings but I am very concerned about it.
For a long time it was the only thing that made me want to live.
I now have a dog to fill that hole and I really fucking hope I can stop buying things soon.
Those last two years were so fucking bad.

[Anonymous No.7374037]

>>7374035
Are you serious? Your parents dumped a 8 year old and a 11 year old in an apartment to live by yourselves? Is that even legal?

[Anonymous No.7374039]

>>7374037
No. But no one asked.

[Anonymous No.7374058]

>>7374035
I am really really sorry for you and I hope you get well soon and everything works out and you are happy
but
BUT
That really sounds like The Sims

[Anonymous No.7374091]

>>7374037
Yea I have friends with rich absent parents (work in another country, travel a lot) and they're dumped in an apartment with a maid and a sibling if they're lucky enough to have one.

>>7374058
>Sims
Oh gawd you're right

[Anonymous No.7374102]

>>7373578
Why not spend the money on a gym membership and personal trainer for 3 months and get rid of the 15 pounds? You say it's something you've wanted to do but can't motivate yourself - so simple, pay someone to motivate you.

[Anonymous No.7374162]

>OMG Baby is re-releasing MSND, dream dress, gotta buy
>can't really afford it right now, but screw it
>transfer money into paypal so I can pay for the set (jsk+headbow) immediately + SS fees + shipping + have a big leftover for customs
>end up not getting it
>super depressed, cheer myself up with a mbok find
>hm still got money left in my paypal might as well spend it
>cue another two dresses coming
>hm I don't really have anything to match those
>to the taobao!
>used up all the paypal money, but since I'm already having a shipment, might as well add some stuff
>package ends up over 5 kg, $100 to ship it
>suddenly it's the end of the month and I don't have enough to pay the rent
>luckily paycheck rolls in before the deadline
>no longer liking my new outfits

I was always a very frugal and calculating person with enough savings to cover my ass for a few months, so the fact that my account was almost wiped was pretty shocking...

[Anonymous No.7374369]

>>7374162
Sounds like you got a good lesson in how easy one's financial stability can turn bad.

If you live in the US, I recommend using mint.com for tracking all expenses and budgets. My hobby budget for lolita and conventions is set to a specific amount each month. If it gets un-used, it rolls over to the next month. If it gets over-spent, I get a warning email. Some people don't like that one has to input your financial info into the site, but I feel relatively safe with a site run by Intuit, and I like having automated emails of when I've over-spent my hobby budget, or my bank has charged me a fee.

[Anonymous No.7374432]

>>7373621

I hug you too, we are not alone!

>>7373832

Yes, it is the worst, right?
I sold most of the stuff I do not like and do not fit, but it took me MONTH until I sold a MMM skirt that will never ever fit me - I knew that while I bought it, but I kept telling myself "Well, you are going to lose weight, and you could do corsett training and...!" Nope, never happened. And the Victorian Maiden JSK looks awful on me, but I wanted to have a dress from this brand! Same with the $300 MM JSK that is on its way to me.
Not to mention that I almost never dare to wear my clothes out even if I actually like and fit them, because I rarely meet with friends and do not have a comm and I feel so shy and insecure to just wear them out most of the time. I am working on wearing Lolita more, I love my dresses, but I am not this brave pretty person I am in my fantasy. Just a social loser, haha. But with every dress I promise myself I would get closer to the person I aspire to. But buying a dress alone will not nring me there...
I will try harder this year, I hope I will succeed!

I am looking for a comm, and I bought a JSK that will actually fit me and my wardrobe for cheap money. Small steps, I hope it will get better.

>>7373946

Haha yes, almost every weekend/free day...

>>7374102

That sounds like a good idea! A friend of mine wanted to convince me to go with him, I think this would work as he has discipline and would drag me along to the gym too (and it is harder not to go if you set a schedule to go with a friend).

[Anonymous No.7374439]

>>7374369

I really want to use Mint.com it looks awesome.

But I don't have an income so I'm not sure how that'll work for me.

[Anonymous No.7374442]

I have such a bad problem with buying dresses and never wearing them.
My comm is pretty inactive and a bit away from me, so I very rarely am able to go to meets. I've been trying to wear lolita on my own more often, but without an event or activity to dress up for, it doesn't seem as worth it. My apartment/room is incredibly small, too, so sitting around in my frills is somewhat difficult.
I feel bad for spending so much money on clothing that I rarely wear.

[Anonymous No.7374449]

For a while I had a taobao addiction

The best thing you can do if you have one is to stay the hell away from /cgl/ for a while. Or, if you must visit /cgl/, block the taobao threads.

[Anonymous No.7374454]

>>7373609
When I realized that I was just impulse buying a lot of items. I'm not a Lolita but I collect a lot of manga/anime/game merchandise and when I got my first real job a few years ago I went overboard with buying figures. A lot of them were from series I've never watched or played and that stuff takes up so much space it's not worth it if you can't make room. I want to sell them now but at the same time I think things like
>I'll never get them again at the price I bought them for
>Oh but what if I do have the space for them when I move out

I should get rid of most of them I think. I also have the problem of buying lots of clothing but wearing the same three or four sweaters and pairs of pants every week.

[Anonymous No.7374457]

>tfw recovered anorexic
>tfw starting to get sick again
>tfw using lolita as an excuse to spend all my money so I purposefully can't afford food

feels bad man

[Anonymous No.7374461]

>>7374457
oh shit. I do something like that too, I like to think it's not that serious though.

>tfw I'll look perfectly thin in the dress I can afford by not eating.
the plan is flawless

[Anonymous No.7374474]

>>7374457
>>7374461
Fuck, I have that mentality too. I really need to stop thinking that I'll save money buy cutting my food budget.

[Anonymous No.7374478]

>>7374457
Kind of similar to my mentality.
>one more inch off my waist and I can comfortably fit into MM!
>don't eat
>save for MM in the process
>awful scoliosis ribcage probably precludes me fitting into MM anyway realistically

[Anonymous No.7374492]

>>7374457
>>7374461
>>7374474
>>7374478
See, I use lolita to aid my recovery from AN/B, funnily enough. One, it makes me feel really beautiful, even if I'm not as thin as I once was. Two, I will reward myself with clothing and whatnot if I've had a good month. And finally, going to meet ups, eating cake, and drinking tea with people who aren't overly concerned with calories/thinness has really helped me overcome my food anxiety.
However, I was also never really the type to not eat so much as purge/cs, which is arguably worse.

[Anonymous No.7374789]

>>7373427
Are you me?

I really need to move out of home for my sanity, but even if I saved all my money I couldn't afford to so I don't see the point in saving and my addiction has kicked off again. I'm definitely a hoarder though, I have panic attacks when I throw out even the most insignificant of things. It sucks.

[Anonymous No.7374813]

>>7374492
this is nice to hear even though its the complete opposite of my current feelings

> 5'2"
> already p much too small for brand
> want to lose more
> wont fit into brand at all at that point
> cant have both
> mfw

[Anonymous No.7375221]

All I do is buy, buy, buy no matter what
Got burando on mind, I can never get enough
And every time log on to the sales comm
Everybody posts go up
And they stay there!

[Anonymous No.7375235]

>>7375221
And they stay there, I'm in despair, and they stay there
Up, down, up, down, up, down
'Cause all I do is bid, bid, bid,
And if you gonna scalp all yo j-fashionware, gurl I don't care

[Anonymous No.7375237]

>thread turned into an embarrassing confessional

Okay, okay... I get it. /cgl/ is filled with a bunch of friendless, shallow and morally bankrupt people.

Hows about we figure out ways to better ourselves? To kick the shopping habits and maybe form a support group or a community to offer a shoulder to cry on?

From reading this thread it's pretty clear there are a lot of lonely women who have nothing better to do than gossip or shop online. If we had something else occupying our time it will do better for our wallets, sanity and the community as a whole.

[Anonymous No.7375240]

>>7373436
that last paragraph, that's pretty much me. there were periods of my life where I remember going to the pawn shop with my mom and watching her pawn her jewelry to pay for food and bills. after I found a good job and realized I could buy whatever whenever, I got a little out of control.

[Anonymous No.7375242]

>>7375237
I woud love to join/help form a support group for lonely lolita shopaholics. It's so hard trying to improve alone, having a support community would be amazing. Can we?

[Anonymous No.7375249]

>>7373384
>Anyone has tips and tricks to resist the pressure of buying ?
Next time there's a dress that comes out that you feel like you NEED, don't buy it. Give your card to your bf, go out all day/night so you're away from your computer, take a sleeping pill so you're asleep during the sale, whatever you have to do. It'll suck when you don't have it, but after that first day or so of sulking you'll realize that it's not that bad to not have it. That worked for me.

[Anonymous No.7375263]

>>7373413
have you ever tried smoking weed?

[Anonymous No.7375271]

>>7375263
I have, 4 times in the last couple of years. I really don't like how it makes me feel. I prefer how I feel when having alcohol tbh, much more relaxed and happy. With weed I just frustrate myself because I have trouble remembering what I am talking about. :( I don't let myself drink often though, out of fear of becoming an alcoholic since I like myself and everything much more when I am buzzed/drunk.

[Anonymous No.7375277]

I've never had normal hobbies or normal interests.I have always been all or nothing. When I was a kid, it was ALL Lion King, ALL Pokemon, ALL Little Mermaid.

As an adult, I've been all about anorexia, smoking pot, cutting myself, binge eating- and all at different times, because I can only be/do one thing.

Now it's all about having cute things. All I do is spend money on shit.

I just have bad impulse control. I have a skin picking disorder because I just can't stop myself and shopping is the exact same way.

I'm not lonely or sad. I just can't control myself.

[Anonymous No.7375292]

>>7374037
>Is that even legal?
lmao rich people like that are above the law and you know it. especially in the US.

[Anonymous No.7375306]

>>7375271
try to buy some quality shit (medical grade if you can get it), get a small pipe from your local smoke shop, and do it alone at home. put on some relaxing music and try to just relax.
smoking cigarettes helps me too, but it's hard to be a smoker and wear lolita.

[Anonymous No.7375303]

I have ebay binges where I sometimes just find cute shit and buy it without thinking. Luckily I'm cheap and easily bored so I sort it with lowest price first and I don't get through many pages of the search

[Anonymous No.7375308]

>>7375277
I'm so similar anon. I've always been all or nothing and gung-ho for whatever it was I was into. And god, I had a crazy lion king obsession in middle school (when it was out)

I can usually manage about two things obsessively at once. Right now it's obsessing about a video game because I have friends that are equally as obsessive and it fuels the fire. The other is Lolita. Since thankfully, it's hard to find items from said video game, I mostly spend my money on lolita because I HAVE TO HAVE this stuff.

I also have had a really bad skin picking disorder. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is birth control pills, which cleared up my acne. But I still try to pick anyway.

I sort of like my video game of the moment addition better because when there's nothing to consume, you make things for others to consume and at least I can get creative and do something somewhat productive with my time.

[Anonymous No.7375312]

>>7374035
>toradora
Sorry, first think to come to mind.
Hope you get better though!

[Anonymous No.7375387]

>>7375308
>birth control pills, which cleared up my acne
which brand are you on? mine only makes it worse and makes me fat.

[Anonymous No.7375390]

slickdeals.net

It's on sale? I don't need it? I didn't even know about it til now? Who cares?

[Anonymous No.7375400]

>>7375390
>$10 pushup bra at maidenform
Thanks anon!

[Anonymous No.7375461]

>>7374439
One doesn't need a constant source of income. One just needs a bank account that you can access online. One can also input credit card account info, too. (Intuit uses this to collect read-only info.) The first days will be annoying, because you'll have to go through the downloaded info, and do a bit of re-categorizing. But it's actually pretty nifty in seeing your spending habits over time.

Also, when you do get income, watching your accounts grow bit by bit on Mint almost feels like leveling up. So setting it all back by a $1000 lolita shopping spree, makes me give a moment of hesitation.

[Anonymous No.7375467]

>>7375400
Your next step is to constantly check it throughout the day much like you would Facebook or twitter.

You will quickly slide down a slope you will be unable to recover from

[Anonymous No.7375632]

>>7375387
I'm a different anon, but I was on Diane (and newer versions of it because it got banned) and that worked like a charm. I'm currently on a generic pill now because I had been using Diane on-and-off for the past 8 years, and it puts you at increased risk for blood clots and various other things, so it's best if you're not on it for as long as I was. Just ask a doctor about your options for anti-androgen pills.

[Anonymous No.7377074]

Is it so terrible of me to bump this thread in hopes of more people afflicted with this addiction will perchance speak more about their temptations and website sources that enable them to get cheap shit?

[Anonymous No.7377076]

>>7375467
Oh, I already do that with egl-sales-comm and lacemarket and a bunch of other shit. I already have a problem, even if my spending isn't there yet it's ramping up.

[Anonymous No.7378771]

I have a shopping addiction. It is awful because I have student loans but all I do is pay the minimum and spend everything on lolita. I only make about $30000 a year and I would say that at least 15000 of that goes into lolita, which is disgusting because I can almost buy a new car with that money. Why do I have this addiction? It like the same reasons as everyone else. It has good resell value so I make at least something back, I am scared that it will never show up again, and I am an obsessive collector. I get addicted to collecting a lot am with lolita, I keep buying and buying. This is going to sound absolutely stupid but I want to have recognition from other lolitas. I am jealous of people who get many comments on their wardrobe post and are popular on tumblr. I know I will never become e famous but the thought of my large and ~special snowflake wardrobe~ potentially making me popular even for 2 seconds makes me happy. Pathetic, I know. I also max out all of my credit cards on lolita but thank Goodness that I haven't fallen into credit card debt along with my student loans.

Starting April, after I pay off my credit card bill, I am going to set $500 for lolita and put all my money into my student loans. And then each month I will only add $100 for my lolita budget and put all my money into loans. Fuck savings, lolita clothes will be my savings. After I pay off my loans, I hope I don't go down the spending spiral again. I am going to try to stop looking at auctions sites and keep telling myself that I don't NEED lolita.

Wish me luck. I need it.

[Anonymous No.7378775]

>>7378771
And before posting this, I dropped at least $700 on lolita items. I have a problem.

[Anonymous No.7378785]

>>7378771
I had a lolita shopping addiction and my only way of beating it was by cancelling my credit card. I know that really isn't an option for most people, but it will take some extreme measures to stop it I'm sure. Good luck, you will definitely need it.

[Anonymous No.7378794]

>>7378785
Thank you. I wish I had the balls to cancel my cards but I don't want to due to credit score reasons. April is my fresh start month and I hope I will be able to start it and not to back to my spending ways. My theory is that if I put all my extra money into my loans, I won't have any money to spend therefore I won't spend.

I need to get away from lolita but it is hard. All the clothes are beautiful and I want it all.

One more thing. I made a wish list and I realized that was not good for my addiction. I would get a high from crossing off something from my list but another will take its spot. Never ending spending bleh.

[Anonymous No.7378824]

Ever since I have started buying brand (not even new releases, just mostly second hand sites) last year my credit card has been hit really hard. I am pretty sure I am close to hitting the limit, which is something I have never come close to just a couple years ago since I was always able to pay the entire balance off.

I think I am going to be okay though. Whatever little I make now will probably go towards paying the debt down. I have a short but nonurgent wishlist at the moment, and I just got my last big-want piece.

An upside to this is that I no longer think too much about buying dance shoes (~$100) and dance dresses (~$400). I think an older me would have been much more hesitant.

[Anonymous No.7378844]

>have 300 TB order going on right now
>dropping ~160 on mbok auctions today (wish me luck to win)
>only been in lolita for less than 2 years but have 25+ main pieces, 95% brand
>make about 15k a year
>only 100 in savings
>was 200 but going to use some for mbok
>credit card close to maxing
>student loans not being paid
>which i made a half ass attempt to pay but they couldn't find my records and I don't want to call them so they can yell at me/have my phone number to harass me
>owe friend over 100 dollars
>missed work for a convention so might not have enough to pay rent this month (due to using the money for mbok)

I know I have a problem, but lolita is the only thing that makes me happy anymore...
I guess since the rest of my life seems so hopeless that this fashion is my escapism into something better.

[Anonymous No.7378853]

>>7378844
Hun, unless you're a student, 15k is considered poor, as in, at the poverty level. Nothing against you, as I'm a poorfag as well, but that's really not a lot of money, so you should try even harder to make the best of it that you can.
I know that feel, though. I drop money on Mbok and y!Japan like it's nothing; it's really awful.

[Anonymous No.7378856]

>>7378844
r u dum

[Anonymous No.7378857]

I feel really lucky that my mom took out credit cards in my name when I was younger and fucked my credit up, I have no way to actually get a real credit card, but if I did I'd be fucked. I already spend any extra money I have as soon as I get it. Plus, my boyfriend is too scared of being in debt in any way that he tries to keep my head on my shoulders.

[Anonymous No.7378886]

>>7378853
I am a student, and yeah 10/hr is probably the best I am going to find.

>>7378856
obviously yes

[Anonymous No.7378893]

I hope your mom paid it off, or you've reported get, because if you have bad credit you will have a hard time getting a loan for a house or car in the future. What she did was fraud and identity theft.

[Anonymous No.7378895]

>>7378893
reported it*

[Anonymous No.7379071]

I definitely think I'm developing a problem quickly. I used to be not so bad with outrageous spending, because I'd just separate necessity money, paying things off first and foremost, and extra money, which usually went primarily to dream pieces. I suddenly have quite a bit of extra money because of a generous pay raise, and I'm dropping loads of it on Japanese auctions and Taobao. I really feel like I should be saving it though, but I can't stop looking at dresses. I feel like I do it whenever I'm upset, because it gets my mind off of everything. Worried about school? Oh, let's check the comm sales. Boyfriend jobless, lazy, and dropped out of uni? Well, gosh anon, you haven't checked Mbok in a long while, let's do that! Dad diagnosed with onset of diabetes and disregarding doctor's orders and his family's concerns? Horrible, BUT look at all this great Taobao list you've accumulated over time, let's order it all!
I've nearly spent more in these past two weeks on dresses I don't even like all that much than I spent on things last year that I love. I'll probably end up reselling most of it out of guilt, I just hope I'm able to get close to what I paid, since I've been bidding pretty extravagantly.

[Anonymous No.7379118]

You won't believe how much of a relief it is to read that other people are going through the same struggle.

I am not a lolita, but I like cute stuff. I live in Finland, which means that everything above 22 euros that comes from outside the EU will get hit by backtaxes. None of my purchases from China and the like have gotten over that limit, but I do buy a lot of small parcels, which still adds up.

The idea of having something on its way for me makes me feel good. I have had periods of deep depression in the current years, but when a package arrived I always felt better. When I had to pick up something from the post office, I had to shower and put on clothes and when I'd get my parcel, I'll cheer so much up I'll remember to go to the supermarket and the like.

Someone earlier in the thread said they got clothes for the person they'd want to be. It is something that really resonates for me; one thing I love above else is looking into my bag and seeing my things. If I'm having a bad day, it is a reminder of how there's good things about me, even if they are physical objects. Also, a lot of people compliment me on the things I own; they ask where I got them and sometimes get the ones I have. That gives me a huge boost.

Sometimes, I come up with something I want and I take great pleasure in trying to find it. I will not buy anything extra until I find that one thing. /cgl/ has really gotten me into coordinating my outfits with new accessories and the like. Which is both good and bad: good, because I reuse the things I have in different ways, bad because it encourages me to get new items.

Finally (sorry, didn't mean to make this so long), I am too a bit of a collector, except I focus on a colour. My two favourite colours are cinnamon brown and mint green. If there's an object in those colours, chances of me getting it is high, especially if it is an 'useful' one (a bag, a pen, notebooks, cardigans, underwear).

[Anonymous No.7379254]

>>7378794
Don't cancel the credit card. Instead, pay it off, and shred the physical card. That way you're not causing the drop in the credit score. The cc company will mail you a new card when the shredded one expires anyway.

[Anonymous No.7379263]

>>7378893
I did report it but people are having trouble finding her since she's kind of been bouncing all over the place.

[Anonymous No.7379284]

>>7379263
Jesus, I'm sorry she's being evasive about it. Those bad marks should go off your score, though, if you provide proof to the credit bureaus that you were underage when those credit cards were authorized under your name.

[Anonymous No.7379333]

Until now, I thought I browsed around quite a bit, but reading other responses in this thread made me realize I actually don't. While a lot of you may check Y!J, mbok, closet child, egl-comm-sales, FB sales, etc. almost religiously, I only check lacemarket and mbok (when I remember to). Mostly because I don't know how to go about buying from mbok and auction sites (not clear on the workings of shopping services), so even if I did find something I liked I wouldn't know how to quickly get it.
But that feeling when something comes in the mail is SO thrilling! I have the biggest smile on my face when I'm holding my long anticipated package. Still, I rarely impulse buy, especially expensive things. I try to take a day or two or more to decide about buying something. Not to say that I don't love a good (reasonable) splurge every now and then!

[Anonymous No.7379432]

>>7373318
How do you have money without a job?

[Anonymous No.7379439]

>>7379432
$$$ parents, likely.

[Anonymous No.7379717]

>>7379254
I need the willpower to get rid of my Paypal account too. Lolita, why so assisting?

[Anonymous No.7379902]

>>7373278
Yes.

I've been buying things all month even though I barely will have enough for rent, because wishlist shit keeps popping up when I have no money and my self control is awful.

I do need to sell a lot of stuff though for money as well as to clear room, I'm hoping that it'll pull me out before I get too deep. That, and find a better job.

>It seems like these days I’m very lonely and in my free time I idly browse AP, Meta and various other sites and just impulse buy goods because I have nothing else really occupying my attention.

That's me right now... but with auctions too.

[Anonymous No.7379990]

one of my formerly loli friends is in deep shit
she was super into it a few years ago
lives in japan, was a hostess, now cant afford SHIT (rent, food, health care) yet she goes and parties quite a bit for someone struggling
her bum bf is a host and makes no money (as happens with hosts)
she's trying to sell her wardrobe, find a job, but illness and mental health come in the way. reality sucks man.

[Anonymous No.7380134]

>>7379990
I think I know who you're talking about, and it's really sad that now she's an alcoholic addicted to host clubs and can't break out of the sex industry. Her excuses about not being able to be an English teacher because her English isn't good is BS, and her whole spouse visa situation is questionable.

[Anonymous No.7380143]

My addiction is so bad I have to borrow money from my mum to pay for dresses.

[Anonymous No.7380605]

>>7375235
>>7375221
beautiful

[Anonymous No.7380720]

>>7378844
This is me, except I haven't turned to credit yet, at least, and don't have loans. But digging into my savings. I just can't seem to find a better job- I should be making same as you but with the hours I get it's closer to 12k, if even...

[Anonymous No.7381027]

Anyone knowledgeable in credit cards... please help!!

I got my first interest payment on my credit card last month. I'm just curious will this affect my credit score/continue to affect my credit score until I pay off the remaining balance?

[Anonymous No.7381042]

I was a shopaholic from 2010-2012 after I started going to /cgl/. I would use about $80 a week on just buying cheap stuff from ebay, after getting inspiration and motivation to buy stuff from /cgl/. In 2013 I almost stopped going here because I was more interested in /ck/ and /tv/, and my spending went down drastically. I think I only bought a couple of small things from aliexpress and ebay 5 times the entire year.

I have just started to hang on /cg/ again these past weeks and already made 3 orders...

[Anonymous No.7381046]

I've kept 300 on hand with maybe 500 in savings for spending emergencies ever since I was young, and managed to maintain that even after I got into cosplay and stopped living with my parents. Then after I started getting lolita my savings plummeted... I'm down on my last 20 bucks. I have a full ride for college so I don't really have to worry about loans, but it really sucks that I'm blowing so much money on clothes...
I browse taobao a lot and have the urge to buy things, but I just put them all in the cart and slowly delete them as they either a) go out of stock or b) I realize I don't really want the item after all. I'm too cheap and lazy for most taobao impluse buys, simply because they take so many steps to order

[Anonymous No.7381062]

>>7381046
Taobao sort of keeps me disciplined in that the lengthy process keeps me from buying other things in the meantime. If getting everything together in an order takes about two weeks and shipping is another three, I'm not buying anything for over a month. Add to that a few "anticipation weeks"--weeks before I start my order where I'm like "oh I should wait till next paycheck(or the next or the next) so that I definitely have enough just in case" and I can almost justify spending on clothes. I tend to have shitty small orders featuring tiny cheap items mixed with pretty average priced things instead of super cheap things (I love Amavel), though.

[Anonymous No.7381067]

>>7381027
Yes, interest indicates that you did not pay off the full statement in full, and it will negatively affect your score. Pay not just the minimum amount that the credit statement says. No, pay off the balance in FULL every single month. If you carry over a balance from the previous month, and the initial interest-free trial period (usually 6 months) is over, they will stay charging you interest. If you keep paying off the statement balance in full every month, though, you will not have to pay interest, and even heap rewards if the credit card has a rewards program.

Pay off the credit cards in full each billing cycle. Don't utilize more than 30% of your credit limit in one month. And do NOT buy something with a credit card if you cannot immediately pay it off with what you already have in your checking account.

[Anonymous No.7381182]

If I started a community/form for lolitas with shopping addictions, would any of you be interested in joining? Something to be a support when you are tempted to buy something you don't need, exchanging tips, and the like.

[Anonymous No.7381213]

>>7381182
PLEASE YES. Please do this.

[Anonymous No.7381221]

>>7381213
Okay I will! I can either make a quick community on an already existing site or a forum. Any preferences?

Pre-existing sites that come to mind are:
Livejournal
Gaia (I know I know, but you can make Closed guilds with customizable forums, plus there's the perk of being able to dress up your avatar)

Or a simple text-based forum.

Thoughts? Recommendations?

[Anonymous No.7381243]

>>7381221
I think Gaia would work the best. God knows the people on /cg/ are pretty fickle. I recall someone trying to make a lolita forum a few months ago and that place died within a week.

[Anonymous No.7381248]

>>7381221
I think a facebook group would be perfect, but I'm not sure how people would feel with it being connected to their personal identities like that.

Would people who beat their shopping addictions, or are in 'recovery', be able to join up as well?

[Anonymous No.7381250]

>>7381221
Gaia is so weeby, but I think that would be really cute and I like how the guilds and forums are formatted/designed.

[Anonymous No.7381256]

>>7381243
Gaia is also pretty easy to sign up with, and since it is interactive in more ways than one (and customizable) it might offer more than just text alone? I'll go ahead and make an account now and start a guild. If there is a lot of people who don't want to use Gaia no worries, but I'll make it for now just in case. (Plus it's my day off from work so I have the time!)

>>7381248
I personally would like to be anonymous because I am too embarrassed about my addiction. :(

And yes! People who beat their shipping addictions or are in recovery so to speak would be welcome too! Basically anyone who feels they needs or wants to offer support.

[Anonymous No.7381276]

>>7381256
Hmm actually thinking about it, gaia does offer the option to buy things. (Items for your avatar.) Should we go with something else?

[Anonymous No.7381295]

Well, there's always the option of going to a smaller imageboard, such as staminarose, where people can stay anonymous. However, the nature of the smaller boards can be vicious in nature. Then again, thats why staminarose was made in the first place.

[Anonymous No.7381328]

>>7381067
Will they charge me interest daily or every month/billing cycle?

[Anonymous No.7381332]

>>7381295
Hmm, perhaps going with a simple free forum may be good? There wouldn't be a lot of subforums so it would stay pretty intimate, mostly categories like Buying Support (post here when you want to spend money NOW), Tips for Avoiding Overspending (planning), Vent (get things that are bothering you off your chest), and such.

[Anonymous No.7381333]

>>7381295
Actually... we could just make a thread on staminarose. I frequent that site anyways!

[Anonymous No.7381636]

Some dumb things I've seen girls on this forum do:
-"I work min wage but wear Lolita, isn't that dress so kawaii? I must have it!" Even if it's second hand, it's still an expensive dress. I don't buy Lolita because I can't afford it, just like I don't buy chanel bags because I can't afford it.
-"I'm so poor so I can't have savings"
Yes you can. 10% of $100 is $10. It may not be the 100$ you'd put in your savings each month if you earned a thousand bucks a month, but it's still good to save.
-"I'm poor because the economy sucks, I can't help it". The economy might be ass but you can still hold back your tits and save instead of splurging on shit that is expensive.
-"the society pressures us women to look good and buy more makeup and products and look pretty! Being pretty and wearing cute stuff is an investment!" Pretty can't get you into college. You can look neat and clean with minimal makeup.
-"I need a sugar daddy!!!" You're an edgy 16yo girl, you need hard work, lessons in money management and a slap on the face.

And I'm saying this as someone who lived in a poor Eastern European country on 50€ a month from cleaning restaurants, rushing to college every morning and having no permanent workplace.

[Anonymous No.7381648]

>>7381333
Is that a format similar to 4chan? Or a forum? I could be the odd one out but I think a forum would be a bit more intimate and organized. :)

[Anonymous No.7381799]

>>7373585
I'm in the same boat. I was unemployed for 6 months 2 years ago so I switched from using my debit card to my credit card for everyday purchases. I've been working full time since then and switched back to using just my debit. It's really hard to pay off my credit debt when I want to buy lolita clothes with the money I've earned instead. I've paid the credit card company $560 on interest alone last year.

[Anonymous No.7381808]

>>7373640
hahah! this! I say that to myself all the time and end up keeping everything!

[Anonymous No.7382300]

>>7380134
who?

[Anonymous No.7382308]

While I don't think I have a shopping addiction, I can relate to a lot of people here. I love searching for dresses and opening packages when they arrive. I wish I could keep buying more but I try to adhere to some rules for myself so I don't go overboard. I work full time, pay my student loans, car payments, bills, and fortunately don't have to pay rent at the moment as I moved back home recently.

I mostly buy brand either second hand or new releases but am really picky, only buy items that are in my preferred cut and color way. If I see a print I want but not in my favorite color way- nope! I wait for the right one. I also don't get to dress up as often as I would like to so I really shouldn't be buying so much. I still have some pieces I've never worn out yet. I made a visual chart of my purchases last year and will continue for this year. Mint.com is fantastic for seeing where my money has gone but a calendar helps me visualize how much I buy in a year. I really lack shoes, blouses, and accessories. I'm also a sucker for AP. I want to try other brands but AP always wins my heart. Keep in mind, I've sold some of the dresses listed on this calendar.

[Anonymous No.7382455]

I know I have a problem. I'm always looking up stuff and finding odd jobs to work for extra cash to buy brand. What I don't like is the buyers remorse, I have tons of it.

[Anon-chan No.7382553]

Lolita (Jfashion?) Shopaholic community maker here. I am still in the process of making a forum but in case this thread disappears, you can send me an email (linked in my name Anon-chan) and I will send you an email with the link to the community when it's up. I also welcome any suggestions, including a name for it! I'm gonna stick with a regular forum for now unless there is an overwhelming preference for something else.

Having a community might also take the edge off for wanting to shop. Instead of having free time to browse, we can focus on chatting with each other about wanting to shop and fighting the urge. :) It might be a nice distraction for those of us who are struggling!

[Anonymous No.7382572]

I recently had a very horrible life situation hit where I ended up having to spend most of my money and borrow from friends in order to pay it off. I'm slowly in the process of rebuilding my funds.

...and I have two dresses on hold and two group orders that I'm planning for next month.

[Anonymous No.7382633]

this entire thread describes me. i grew up in a household where i only bought bargain/clearance. anything over 30 dollars was a fortune to me. when I moved out I began my wardrobe. it got worse and and i'd buy things like a ferret hoarding shiny things. it really hit me one day when I realized I have 30 dollars in my bank. but I still wanted more. i'd buy, sell, and buy more. finally, I got my dream dress and dropped 500 USD on it. my boyfriend caught wind of it. he gave me a really stern talking and told me I can't buy anything until april, save for cheap items and necessities. I felt like the worst human being in the world.

now, he's lightened up a bit and i'm slowly learning to buy what I really love over quantity. I give my money to my boyfriend straight away, so I can't touch my savings without asking him first. my next goal is to find more hobbies outside of Lolita so I can keep myself off the computer. I used to spend 6+ hours/day just browsing auctions. i still have to work on a lot of things, but one day I want to have money management skills like a normal human being.

[Anonymous No.7382632]

>>7382572
Have you at least pay back your friends? If so then it's okay to buy things you want. However know that unforeseen events can show up again anytime. Just be safe!

[Anonymous No.7382662]

>>7382633
on the topic of shopaholics, I do know a few people. they are far from jfash enthusiasts, but oh my god. I want to rip them all a new one.

exhibit a is a mess and i'd wish for no one to be like this man.
>owes my boyfriend ~1500 in rent
>also owes my friend/ex roommate 4000 usd in rent as well as his girlfriend 3000. she helped him pay for his credit card and a speeding ticket

now that we finally got him to move home, he hasn't done a damn thing to pay us back yet he spends money on things every day whether its dinner, bars, or anime bullshit like figures or keychains. he just bought tickets to a concert and reserved two extra for friends "just because".

exhibit b
>couch surfing in Cali
>doesn't have a bank account because he thinks they're stupid and "cost money"
>stayed with us for 3 months jobless and we kicked him out
>shacked up with friend and he also got kicked out
last time I heard hes on the east coast living with his new squeeze.
just... I dunno. I thought people like this don't exist. I want to hope they will change for the better but i'm seriously doubting it.

[Anonymous No.7382668]

>>7382662
>last time I heard hes on the east coast living with his new squeeze.

I'm on the east coast, take back your garbage

[Anonymous No.7382707]

>>7382662
I have an ex who was like that. He owed me $2000 in rent and money I loaned him to pay off a fine he had for driving without a license. He got my car impounded because he was driving it while I was at work. He refused to get a job and spent every dollar he bullied out of me, friends, or family on video games and weeb shit. After I kicked him out he crashed with various friends and dated random girls with bad self esteem he just met so he could live with them. Last I googled he was arrested for battery in Chicago and moved out of state (every once in a while I google him to see if he's been arrested /again/ or has died yet).
I don't get how someone can live like that. Just get a fucking job. Stop abusing everyone around you to fund your precious hobbies. The quality of life for them and everyone around them would get better if they'd just grow the fuck up and start taking care of themselves.

[Anonymous No.7384025]

>>7381067
I use almost all of my credit but pay everything back every month. Is that bad?

[Anonymous No.7384056]

>>7384025
No. It's a plus that you pay what you owe. Your credit score gets better. If anything, the credit card company should be offering you a higher credit limit.

[Anonymous No.7384092]

>>7384056
That is good to know. I was worried when I read 30%. I always pay everything on time but worried that using all my credit would look bad regardless of the fact that I make payments on time.

[Anonymous No.7384117]

>>7384025
>>7384092
Different anon from other two but you should try to keep your lower than your credit limit not near it. Yes it is good you are paying all your credit every month but you should try to keep it low.

The reason why is because if a credit card company happens to send your report before your deadline to pay your credit in full, your report will state that your debt to credit limit is high and that's risky. The bureau would then see that your debt to credit limit percentage is high so it would decrease your score overall. The bureau acts kind of like a robot...despite you paying monthly, they cannot assume you paid for the current month even if you end up paying the next day. What gets reported is what gets reported.

Sorry if that sounded confusing.

[Anonymous No.7384166]

>>7384117
That is very interesting. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.7384167]

>>7384117
Also would my credit score be worse or the same as someone who doesn't pay on time?

[Anonymous No.7384174]

>>7384167
Sign up for creditkarma.com if you're not sure how credit scores work. That's another free site like mint that's super-helpful in personal finance.

The website works by doing a soft check on your credit, and doing an estimate of where your credit score is. It's different from a hard check, that happens when a credit card company is reviewing your application for a new card (and also affects your score negatively). Creditkarma will also let you know if your credit score is low or takes a dive.

[Anonymous No.7384412]

>>7382633
>I give my money to my boyfriend straight away
damn, I wish I could trust someone to do this. I'm glad you found his support!

[Anonymous No.7384504]

>>7384174
I forgot to add, when you sign up for creditkarma, they will ask for your ssn.

I like it using it, because its soft checks won't make my score drop, plus the automated emails make things so easy for me.

[Anonymous No.7384521]

>>7382633
I just spent $1k on lolita and Taobao junk in one week and that's more than double what I spent all last year. I'm usually so good with money but suddenly not now. I usually always ask for my boyfriend's opinions on the things I plan on buying, because I'm pretty frugal, but when I really want something the desire burns intensely. He'll almost never tell me no unless it's actually ridiculous, but he let me splurge this once on the condition I don't buy anything else large for the rest of the year. I don't think that will be a problem, since everything I've bought thus far was everything on my dream list so I feel pretty content at this point, but here's hoping something doesn't go wrong. He's even agreed to take my cards and Paypal/Amazon/eBay accounts away, so there's always those precautions.

[Anonymous No.7384608]

>>7384174
Thank you!

[Anonymous No.7385208]

>>7373318
>>7373326
Likely not, I know someone exactly like this in my comm.

also,
>mfw I discovered storenvy and could spend pennies for amazing & cute clothes/accessories

[Anonymous No.7385833]

>>7384167
That I don't know for sure. But definitely go with anon's suggestion about creditkarma. Absolutely love that site and use it all the time.

[Anonymous No.7386160]

>>7384174
Thank you! Seems as if I have good credit. I love all the helpful anons here.

[Anonymous No.7388320]

>>7385208
If you're buying from Storenvy, you're likely overpaying.

>tfw you just spent all of the money you just earned from selling items on new items.

[Anonymous No.7388491]

I fill up my AP point card every two months... This month I got two completely filled, one in person and one online.