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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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7149606 No.7149606[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

I'll start off, I suppose.
Lolita here. I've loved this fashion for years now, and I own a few dresses, shoes, blouses, ect. Not a huge wardrobe like most of you guys have, but it's fine for me.
The thing is, I think I'm growing out of Lolita or something. It's beautiful, but putting so much money to one dress that I barely wear just feels like a waste..
I'm so tempted to just sell all my Lolita and put the money to fashion I can actually wear every day comfortably. I've always sort of felt like Lolita wasn't "worth it" but I could just put that thought to the side and look at pretty dresses on /cgl/. But I can't do that anymore. Just seems like a lot of work for so little payoff.
Any other Lolitas feel the same way?

>> No.7149625

>>7149606
If you don't love it, don't wear it. Simple as that. I have days where the thought of wearing a frilly dress confuddles me, so I wear casual cute things that I like. Why not keep your lolita for your more "dress uppy" days and buy more casual cute clothes when you get the chance? expand thy wardrobe. Fashion can and should evolve.

>> No.7149637

>>7149606
I don't do lolita because
>money,
but this is exactly how I feel about my dolls.

>> No.7149650

>>7149637
What dolls do you collect, anon?
I used to be really in love with pullips and bdjs but I could never really bring myself to spend so much money on them, so I admire them from afar, heh. A friend did give me a pullip for my birthday years ago though, she's super cute~.
But I guess it's kinda a normal thing to question our hobbies like this sometimes? I don't know.

>> No.7149653

>>7149625
I think it's cause I see the dresses as money just sitting in my closet. I have a few AP dresses just sitting there and I feel like it's just a waste to keep them there and barely wear them.

>> No.7149654

>>7149650
BJDs. I think it'd be more abnormal if we didn't stop to question it sometimes/constantly.

>> No.7149664

>>7149654
To be honest with you, most of my questioning of the hobby is about the community involved rather than the clothes. I have a wardrobe that I'm happy with, am comfortable wearing it under most circumstances, and so on, but sometimes I look at the people involved and wonder if it's worth being around them so much. Lolita attracts some real nutjobs.

>> No.7149666

>>7149664
Dolls are a retarded hugbox full of even worse crazies, and there is literally nowhere decent to talk about them.

>> No.7149673

>>7149666
So I've heard from friends who are involved in both. I kind of wanted to get a minifee or even just a knock-off for cheap to make cute clothes for (without being a part of the community). I joined DoA and posted regularly for a week in some of the beginner/crafting threads, then just gave up. Like you said, criticism is not appreciated and even offering gentle suggestions tends to get some serious backlash.

>> No.7149678

>>7149673
If you want a recast, go for it. The community's not worth bothering with.

>> No.7149689

>>7149673
>Having a doll to make cute clothes for
ughhhh
I've wanted to do this for the longest time. Do you know where to get cheap knockoffs perhaps?
Also the whole nottakingcriticism thing has infected every hobby, I swear. It's terrible. Even some art communties frown upon it. I'll never understand why people don't want to improve their own craft.

>> No.7149696

>>7149689
luoligui.taobao.com
There's a few others, but that's the only one I remember. All recasters have pretty much the same dolls, anyways.

>> No.7149700

>>7149689
What this anon said>>7149696
I've been looking at their recasts for a while, but I've been debating whether I should just get the original, because of quality differences (recasts features aren't as sharply defined and more regularly have flaws, from the reviews I've read).

>> No.7149705

>>7149700
Meh, no one can tell the difference between my recast and a legit. But if you have the money, support the company.

>> No.7149712

>>7149705
I'm not so much worried about what other people think, but if you say that they're pretty close, that's good then. I just don't want to end up with a doll whose hands are malformed or something. lol

>> No.7149715

>>7149705
There are minor differences. Seam lines, different casting color, ect. I mean it's not that hard to point out...

>> No.7149721

>>7149715
It's probably not a problem unless you're with people with legits.

Seam lines can be sanded off easily.

>> No.7149731

>>7149715
>>7149700
Ahh, thanks for the heads up.
Honestly though, I wouldn't have too much of a problem with that. I kinda just want a qt 3.14 doll I can make cute clothes for. Not much of a collector. Oh and thanks to >>7149696 for the link. I'll take a look around.

>> No.7149730

>>7149715
Most recasts don't come with seams, and I just ordered mine to match the company they came from- any deviation from that can be explained as age difference. As the doll yellows, it'll only look more legit. If you knew about it and were looking for differences, maybe you'd find some. But other than that, I've never been called out on it, not online and not at meets and not in person, even while people were bashing recasts. I just smiled and nodded and enjoyed my doll.

>> No.7149739

>>7149721
Very true. I'm pro-recast but I have 3 legits. Only plan on buying LE sculpts. Overall the recast community it very friendly compared to the legit comm. That's just my opinion regardless. With lolita I left my comm because of the catty bullshit drama that wasn't worth my time to begin with.

>> No.7150225

>>7149606

I'd work the clothing into my reg wardrobe like Fanny does.

Works best with classic though. The pastel teddy bears and toy blocks won't work.

>> No.7150261

I realized that I spent more on lolita this month than I should have. Like how much lolita debt is acceptable?

>> No.7150315

>>7150261
None, all debt is unacceptable.

>> No.7150322

I'm poor as fuck, and need to order materials for my next cosplay as soon as possible, but can't if I want to eat, pay rent, and feed my pets.

>> No.7150336

>>7150261
You really shouldn't get yourself into debt for your hobbies. It's a luxury thing, not a necessity. Maybe try selling some of your old pieces to buy new piece instead?

>> No.7150341

>>7149653
Same here, anon.
I have a med-large wardrobe and 90% of it have not been used. I buy new releases and dont wear them. Its like buying a new car and not driving it until the next year. Its very much a waste of money.

>> No.7150565

I feel like lolita has changed so much so quickly in the past few years (especially sweet lolita) that I wonder if what I'm in love with is even really lolita fashion? I'd like to branch out and just start wearing my own bastard fashion of mori and lolita.

>> No.7150639 [DELETED] 

I once mentioned that I liked Yaya Han's craftmanship and thought she looked pretty in a certain costumes and later (like, weeks later) joked about becoming a famous cosplayer and living in a cotton candy castle with other famous cosplayers "like Yaya". Now everyone in my cosplay groups teases me about idolizing her, one bought me autographed prints as a gift, and when I try to protest, they all just laugh and say "yeah right, fangirl". I just roll my eyes now, but it's annoying as shit, and I don't want anyone else hearing them act this way and take it seriously.

>> No.7150660

>>7150341
see you should sell some, instead of just sitting on them- they could be someone's dream dress!

>> No.7150661

>>7150565
for a long time i felt like if something isn't "lolita" it isn't good enough.
but that's not always true.
we're, as a subculture, a lot like the goths in a way. (if youre not loli enough you deserve to get looked down on, are dumb, ect automatically. i follow the rules to a T when i wear lolita-you couldn't pick me out of a meetup crowd- so i guess im a hypocrite but its just something ive noticed.)
break the rules if you want. "not lolita" doesn't mean "not pretty".
make it look good.
forget the haters.
but above all, coordinate as well as you would in lolita.

>> No.7150666

>>7149673
I asked my bf for a Pullip just so I could make clothes for her. She comes with me to cons to look cute at my booth, but I get annoyed when people try to buy her from me so I stopped bringing her along :(.

>> No.7150682

>>7150661
I kind of felt this way before too, but then I realized why people are like that. Lolita as a fashion seems to be really precious to some, and I know they can be bitchy and catty about it, but deep down it's a really important aspect of themselves. I started understanding that more recently and it seems to ring true. Rather than simply looking down on and laughing at girls who don't quite get it or don't want to, people really really want them to get it, so we can all look pretty and perfect and lolita. It's kind of sad in away, and frustrating, but I understand it.

>> No.7150694

I want to try making and wearing kegadoru-inspired stuff, but I don't want people to actually think I'm injured and pester me about it. I just really, really like bandages and eyepatches.

>> No.7150978

>>7150682
yeah.
something else that sort of irks me is the ____ and ___ is not a real lolita for doing ___,____, ____ and _____
(in the case of itas they're still doing lolita, just failing hard at it.)
and what's the difference between a real and fake lolita anyway...?
we have fake hair, fake nails and fake eyelashes and paint on fake faces is completely real lolita even be possible

>> No.7150983

>>7150978
*is a completely real lolita even possible
(revision hiccup)

>> No.7151015

"It's fine if you call it lolita-ish or lolita inspired. Just don't call it straight-up lolita."

But you'd be a bitch for saying that.

>> No.7151016

>>7151015
wat
elaborate

>> No.7151022

>>7150322

Put your pets before anything else. You have a responsibility. Cosplay is not worth your animals going without food.

>> No.7151030

>>7151016
As a response to itas taking creative license a little too far.

>> No.7151038

I tried doing something nice for some lolita know my community and I'm just getting butt fucked for it

I figured hey, I'm spending the $150 requirement for the AP annual tea party, why don't I pass my ticket along to someone else that wants to go since Im really busy that week? Some girl messages me immediately saying she wants it and of course I say okay! I went to AP SF and bought a shitton of stuff, and I politely ask the shop girls if I can transfer my ticket. They were NOTHING but helpful and said I could.... But I would have to A) buy the ticket now and B) get her email and her phone #. I just spent $400 and I wasn't happy about spending any more and they wouldn't wait for her to come in to pay for it later. And she seized all contact me when I messaged her on FB.

After waiting for half an hour I assumed she'd get back to me and rely all the information back to AP. I stupidly bought the ticket. As soon as I get on the bus, she responded back to me and disregarded all my messages and only says "is it under my name?"

By then I'm really annoyed because I'm trying to do something nice and they only care about if the ticket is theirs - never mind the fact that I just spent $210 on your fucking ticket!!!

Anyways some family issue arrived, and I immediately felt bad for thinking such nasty things. I told her to get back to me as soon as things got situated.

Two days later she decides to tell me lol JK I can't go anymore! Sorries! I'm sure someone else will want it!!! And now I'm pissed because I'm not someone's fucking credit card and I haven't been able to find someone who wants this damn tea party ticket. I want to go SO bad but I can't and its driving even more crazy since I told the AP staff I'd get in contact with them ASAP.

UGH sorry for it being long. Tldr: tried to do something nice because I'm a fucking asshole.

>> No.7151042

>>7151038
Wow my phone just ate some words

> tried to do something nice for some lolita I know in my community

>> No.7151056

>>7151038
Yeah, I saw the post and thought you were being just way too nice about the whole thing. Did the people suggested in the thread not want to buy the ticket, either? :C

>> No.7151066

>>7151056
She messaged me saying she wanted it and I told her I would sell it to her. But like the AP staff told me, I need her name, email, and phone # - and of course the $60. She read the messages and hasn't responded in 9 hours....

>> No.7151217

>>7150978
>we have fake hair, fake nails and fake eyelashes and paint on fake faces

Except all of this becoming a norm for lolita is relatively new. I hate that people insist on wearing a wig, you don't need to if you style your hair/have naturally nice hair.

>> No.7151302

>>7151217
I'm not sure any part of lolita should really be prefaced with 'need'. You don't need to wear a frilly dress either, but you do.

>> No.7151419

>>7151302

Not the one you're replying to, but if you don't have the lolita silhoutte, or your dress looks more fifties than frilly princess, then you won't look like a lolita.

On the other hand, fake wig, nails etc is not neccessary for an outfit to be recogniseably lolita. They weren't a big thing in 2006 and lolitas were still lolitas with their natural hair. So wigs, etc are not neccsary for lolita, frilly dresses are.

Not that you even need lolita or cosplay or 4chan, or anything other than food and shelter in your life, but that makes for a pretty boring life.

>> No.7151532

So maybe it's stupid, but I've ordered a few things offline now, from eBay and etsy, and if I contact the seller about the item being flawed, possibly to get a partial refund, they send me a full.

Sounds like it shouldn't be a problem, right? It bothers the shit out of me because then I basically get something for free, even if its flawed. So the whole item is tainted with guilt and imperfection, and I feel like a partial scammer, when really I just want perfection in my stuff.

>> No.7151545

>>7151038
Hi! I actually have a friend who wanted to go and would be more than happy to reimburse you for the ticket + it's cost!

Would you mind shooting me an email?

>> No.7151548

>>7151545
derp, forgot my email!

>> No.7151567
File: 704 KB, 555x843, Screen Shot 2013-10-17 at 10.55.07 AM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7151567

So... did anyone else see this terrifying thing show up in their feed?

>the price is $40-50 or best offer

Just.... no.

>> No.7151570

>>7151567
Whoops, misfired- was aiming for the ita thread.

Point can still be made, though- I hate seeing people try to sell non-lolita stuff as lolita. This includes those little mini-skirt things and 'cutsews' (tank tops with band names) that will be 'perfect for gothic lolita!'

No. Get your VK crap out of my lolita.

>> No.7151576

I have two major gripes atm:
>No misty sky on its way to my closet
>Joined comm recently and it's an ita hugbox
>Friend who wanted to cosplay with me hasn't talked about it and hasn't told me what she wants to do yet

Nothing big. Just some nice first world probs. Though I really wish my friend would get back to me so I could start already.

>> No.7151583

>>7151022
Oh, I know, and I do. My pets come before me consistently. It just sucks that I can't do everything I want to do. Especially since my rescue kitty has some unknown chronic condition, and I have spent many hundreds of dollars on vet bills and special foods. Thank god for payment plans.

I did manage to pay for my fosshape, though, so there's that.

>> No.7151597

My old comm kicked my best friend out and they were expecting her to be super butthurt but we just found the whole thing hilarious because they're total autists and we never actually liked them but they're the local group so needs must. Now wondering about starting my own group, but our city isn't that big and I don't want to make things awkward, I don't have any real problem with the old group (just not my kind of people at all) but it'd be nice to be able to actually have good meets in our city that are fun and not awkward and boring. Is there really any way to start my own group without causing a lot of 'OMG SPLIT COMM!!!111!!!!' drama?

>> No.7151609

>>7151532
well, you can choose to continue to support these artists/sellers because that's pretty awesome customer service, or you can not contact them, sell the flawed item and try to buy another one from them?

>> No.7151645

>>7151038

Same situation happened with me during DDC preorders, but I was able to sell my second JSK with no problem. What is it with lolitas and spending other people's money?

>> No.7151762

dear fellow lolitas: learn to take a fucking complement nicely
when i see shit on tumblr conveying "i beam when people complement me on anon but make a confused sour face when someone complements me irl"
bitch no
when a stranger goes out of their way to complement you the least you can do is not act like an autist with a stick up her ass
just say thanks or something jfc

>> No.7151779

>>7151762
(side note: by complement i do not mean a frat boy informing you he wants to have his way with your modestly covered anus
i meant more of the little old lady telling you your outfit is cute scenario)

>> No.7151805

>>7151762
>>7151779

*compliment. Please, before I run sobbing into a pillow and kill a kitten to appease the gods of homonyms.

No, but I get you. I'm really autist when I get compliments, even if it's from my professors. I'm just really fucking awkward, and I think a lot of people who get into this fashion are. Plus, with the rise of radical feminism 101 and the trend to think every man out there is eyeing someone for sex, there's that issue as well.

I get complimented mostly by old ladies. Once by a sign holder. He was nice, but I think he was really surprised by my purple wig haha.

>> No.7151822

>>7151805
oh fuck
sorry it's been a long-ass week i got up at three

>> No.7151829
File: 735 KB, 1200x797, 1369455568498.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7151829

Sometimes I can't fucking handle the rudeness and the immaturity of the lolita fashion. It's not the making fun of itas or people dressed like shit that piss me off. It's the fact that you guys try to come off as fucking debutantes of lolita fashion, super polite and grown-up and lady-like when you have absolutely no understanding of etiquette at all. I see shit all the time like "I need to convince my friend to uninvite a girl I don't like to the tea party because I don't like her" and "I blatantly talk shit to people at meet-ups who wear replicas." These fucking people claim to be so fucking knowledgeable in how to be a proper host or part-goer when they can barely conduct themselves past 5 year old temper tantrums.

I'm not talking about life-style lolita bullshit. I'm not referring to talking shit on itas either. I'm talking about girls who have never been taught how to conduct themselves at a party or function, or what proper protocol is. If you don't like a girl at a tea party, YOU do not go to the tea party. If you honestly cannot keep your mouth shut to enjoy a meet-up without harassing girls about replicas, you should probably just stick to online bullying. Being civil at a formal function seems like common fucking sense to me, but I guess it isn't for some of you. You have this problem understanding what is appropriate for meet-ups and what is appropriate for online shit talking. It boggles me.

All these beautiful classy tea parties with amazing dresses and coords, and you're about as cordial as a 4 year old, and claim to be some kind of politeness goddess. I feel like more lolitas should read a book about party etiquette and how to conduct yourself at a formal gathering, because this shit is ridiculous.

(not referring to everyone on /cgl/ btw, but a lot of you are here)

>> No.7151868

>>7151762
COMPLIMENT for fucks sake.

Also
>implying anyone ever responds to anons with anything other than some variation on "come off anon" but refuses to turn off anon

>> No.7151924

>>7151868
yes i know i've just been up and about for sixteen and a half hours now and i am tired please calm your titties

>> No.7151963

>>7151597
You could always just organize private get-togethers with just your close lolita friends. Some types of events are actually easier to organize with fewer people in the group. (For example, 'High Tea" service often require reservations and deposits for larger groups.)

If your group of friends gets large enough, you could set up a group on meetup/facebook/whatnot, and take it in one of two directions. Option A: have it be a regular lolita comm in an "alternate" district of the city, in which you either live in or which has a cafe/bar you like to frequent. If anybody accuses you of trying to make "split comm" drama, say it's just for convenience of location. (Also, make sure to follow your own word and set up meetups in that general area.)

Option B: have it be a more general comm that not only has lolita, but also some other fashion or fashions that share similarities with lolita. You could spread it to general J-fashion, or to gothic and steampunk.

Whether you go with A or B, suspicion will arise about you trying to create drama. Minimize this by allowing members to attend the other group if they wish; do not "ban" them if they want to frequent the other meetup more. Also enforce a rule in your new comm, that no bad-mouthing of the other comm is allowed. Some newcomers, maybe even your friend, may decide that trash-talking the other comm is a way to bond. Stamp that shit out.

>> No.7151986

>>7151829
I feel you lolibro.
But don't despair! In many irl comms there are decent people who don't do this shit. If you stick to just hanging out with nice girls and just don't open /cgl/ or btb you'll [probably] never have to see this stuff again.

>> No.7152040

>>7149606
I have to know... where is the OP image from?

>> No.7152312

>>7151597
This sounds familiar.
Where are you from?

>> No.7152323

>>7151963
Thanks for the advice! 'Another district' isn't really an option because our city is tiny, although there is a part of town we never go to because it's a long walk from the station so that might be an idea, there are some sweet asian food places and tea shops there, and loads of vintage shops. Even though I wear gyaru myself I wouldn't wanna make a general J-Fashion group, half the fun of lolita meets is doing fancy 'lolita stuff' and I'd feel pretty out of place going to a fancy tea room with a bunch of gals and VK people.

There are gonna be a couple of people who will absolutely be banned from the comm because of shitty behaviour towards my friend, so if people choose to start drama about that, they do, but some people simply are not welcome and I do not wish to see them.

What I'd really love is to make a more exclusive lolita group along the lines of a gal-cir, but I'm not really sure if lolitas would be open to that kind of idea. It seems like it'd end up with a close-knit and better-dressed group, which would be really nice.

>>7152312
UK and I doubt it, haven't talked about it online before because it's not really a huge issue.

>> No.7152336

>>7152323
I'm not in the UK but my local group has some similar drama.

>> No.7152502

>>7151829

I have a feeling you're seeing a lot of these things on 4chan or btb. There's a good reason for that. These girls know how to conduct themselves and what proper party etiquette is, that is exactly why they're posting anonymously on 4chan, so that this shit can't be traced back to them. In other words, they're two-faced hypocrites.

They aren't ignorant though, just catty.

>> No.7152983

>>7152323
That's a shame to hear about the banning, but it sounds like your social circle is just the right size for small get-togethers -- this is going to make it so much easier for you, trust me. Official meetups are fun, but for their organizers, it's like herding cats. Good luck, and have fun!

>> No.7153155

I'm super worried that my ems shipment won't come in time for the meetup next week. It's been in US customs for the past 5 days, I'm starting to sweat a little... Why does this shit have to happen to me when other bad shit is going on in my life?!

>> No.7153232

I hate being a Canadafag because shipping
captcha teaustra gold

>> No.7153235

>>7152323
Let me guess, Oxford?

>> No.7153595
File: 352 KB, 245x230, tumblr_mbsq0qn8OX1qd81gqo3_250.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7153595

I've been planning an event at my house for over two months now. Last week, I let people know that I needed an official headcount of who was and was not going by Thursday evening. I posted this multiple times, and people posted that they were going or not. I went out, bought supplies and food for that amount of people, and came home and posted basically "if you didn't RSVP before last night you're SOL because I bought supplies already, maybe you should learn to follow directions" and went off to do something else.

I just came back to see that one girl has suddenly marked herself as going, completely throwing my very precise amount of food and gifts off. The food is less an issue because it's a potluck so I won't be the only one with food, but the gifts ARE. So now what, one person, who may or may not be her, just doesn't get a gift OR I have to throw something half-assed together last minute and one person gets fucked over (the gifts are random grab bags)? That's not fucking fair to the other guests, and she's had ample amount of time to decide whether she can make it or not.

What do? I can't tell her she can't come, but it's unbelievably rude of her to basically just show up after I've made it abundantly clear that I needed an official headcount yesterday and when I've just posted that I already bought supplies for the party and that there won't be enough for everyone if someone shows up unannounced.

I mean fuck, this isn't a restaurant, this is my house.

>> No.7153626

>>7153595
Just tell her that she will not receive a gift because she signed up too late, and just make a mental note. That is pretty shitty though.

>> No.7153627

>>7153595
Tell her she'll have to provide her own supplies and are not invited to get a grab bag.

>> No.7154991

>>7151038
>plies: >>7151548

Looks like AP isn't selling their tickets anymore. I waited to long to buy one. Anyone got a spare/not going? Will buy. :) Emails in the name.

>> No.7155024
File: 734 KB, 1260x1600, Annex - Davis, Bette (What Ever Happened to Baby Jane)_NRFPT_01.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7155024

OP I know that feel.
I left lolita like 4 years ago and sold everything that wasn't handmade ita looking gifts from friends no one wanted.

I totally want to start wearing mori or dolly, but...
>Be bipolar and in the process of getting offical diagnosis which is acceptable to my healthplan to get eating disorder counseling because when I have depressive episodes I literally cannot stop eating even when I am crying into my food and feel disgustingly full, so I get really close to a normal weight when manic and eating scrupulously healthy and then gain it back again
>Be afraid to spend a lot of money on clothes, similar to you
>I'm an ex goth and colored clothing confuses me and I have no idea how to coord more than two exact matching colors in any one outfit.

Also, I'll be 28 this year. I wish I would just stop liking weird clothes and be old already, because I'm not going to be good looking enough to pull any of this shit off before I look like pic related.

>> No.7155034

>>7152323
What about specifically other fashions that follow a similar aesthetic and would be down with doing "lolita stuff?" I could see some steampunks, goths, or mori/dolly fans being "in character" outfit-wise at a fancy tea party sort of meetup.

>> No.7155040
File: 23 KB, 378x366, 1343096288169.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7155040

Looking to book a hotel soon for a con a month away. Call me an idiot but I've booked hotels only twice in my life and just now realized they charge more per night per person. Originally had myself and one friend going, now should be having a total of 4 people in the room.

Only staying two nights but the hotel i want is $20 extra a night when I add on the two more people, so an extra $40 onto the stay. Am debating booking the room for just two people and showing up earlier than other two friends and saying "they came last minute" to lower price. Could work because hotel has option to pay entire stay a week in advance, in full.

Thoughts ? How bad do you guys think hotel staff would get pissed ?

>> No.7155042

>>7153595
"Hey, sorry but since I already bought the party supplies, and you rsvp'd late you won't be getting a grab bag and all the other guests will. I appreciate that you'll be with us for the (activities or food that the party is based on) though!"

Because no offense to you, but I think you are overthinking this. I worked to plan a monthly meetup for a local hobby related group and the number one thing we had to "battle" was people thinking everything had to be perfect. We had people's schedules change at the last minute all the time, and most people are cool about things like that. Like we did a secret santa at our christmas meetup and one of the other organizers kept freaking out because people rsvp'd last minute after the gift exchange. So we just posted "Hey, we're glad everyone is coming but we already assigned the secret santas so if you RSVP'd last minute you won't get a gift, sorry!" No one complained publicly, and no drama ensued.

Think about the last event you attended. Was it fun because of what you did and who you were with or because of something that was set up ahead of time?

>> No.7155044

>>7155040
People do this all the time. But I think you will be charged per person at check in. My friend used to run rooms for people-booking, a party room, etc. He'd just book all the rooms for two and not tell the hotel- they kind of expect it.

The only downside is you get one key per officially checked in person, so if your friends need anything from the room they have to go find someone with a key.

>> No.7155049
File: 408 KB, 500x375, 1343095385488.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7155049

>>7155044
I think having two cards would be alright. Since the hotel has that option to pay in full the week before for cheaper i'll hope they dont add on the extra cash at check out. Thanks.

>> No.7155057

I'm getting irritated that a person I room with decided to invite some people I'm not friendly with to MY hotel room, without telling me, basically at the last minute. I'm tired of this and this is going to be the last year I room with her.

>> No.7155067
File: 8 KB, 275x184, 17690870.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7155067

I really want to get into J-fashion. I honestly do. Not like get seriously into lolita and buy several dresses and go to meet ups. I just want a couple of skirts and cute heels and some socks or tights.
But I can't bring myself to buy any of it. First of all I'm a lazy cretin - I can't for the life of me figure out ordering from overseas or taobao. And spending 100+ sends my formerly lower-class brain into a meltdown. At first I'm like "wow that skirt is the fucking cutest" and then I do the math and I'm like HAHA NOT THAT CUTE. But then I get on the computer and look at these skirts over and over and im just thinking why the fuck is american fashion truly so terrible (not entirely, but)

>> No.7155069

>>7155067
Buy stuff from DreamV on rakuten. It's cute, and doesn't break the bank. Hope you have tiny feet tho.

>> No.7155073

>>7155069

why thank you
I'll give it a look

>> No.7155146

Here is my birthday rage from a few weeks ago :
>be me
>okay dressed lolita, friendly with everyone, always invited to meets, people tend to say that I'm popular
>birthday soon, want to make a meet up
>invite friends an other members of the comm
>15/20 people RSVP
>show up at meet
>a loli alone
>we were four for my birthday : my roommate, my boyfriend, the other lolita and I.
>even my lolita BFF didn't show up.

So I don't have friend apparently. This makes me rage so hard. I mean, okay you don't show up but at least text me or anything. I still grind my teeth about this.

>> No.7155157

>>7149606
Anon, it's just you growing up. Don't worry, you're going in the right direction.

>> No.7155195

>>7155146
That's really shitty anon. But at least people remember your birthday...

>> No.7155287

>>7155195
Thanks to facebook yeah...

>> No.7155388

>>7153626
>>7153627
Nah, I threw together a similar grab bag but it's missing one or two items because I didn't have enough. I set it aside specifically for her. If she complains that she didn't get a whatever then too bad.

>>7155042
I think you're right, anon, I was just really infuriated when I wrote that post. Now it's the day of and I'm like "I don't care if 5 extra people show, I don't care if 5 fewer people show, I'm gonna have fun goddammit".

>> No.7155414

>>7155146
Eh, this has happened to me in real life before. >Made a Facebook event, like 14 people RSVP'd. >AWESOME! But booking a restaurant was difficult. My favorite place couldn't handle that many, so I opted for one I didn't like very much but could handle a large group.
>By the day of my birthday everyone suddenly bales or just just straight-up doesn't show, and only 5 people end up coming.
>Which would be fine, except now I have a very small group but it's too late to switch back to my favorite restaurant.

It happens. People can be really flakey. It's not even you necessarily - I have had parties where tons of people came, and then others where everyone flakes because of the day/time/location/just bad luck. It's a pain in the ass when people flake out for something important (like a birthday), but don't take it as a reflection on you unless it's something that consistently happens. And even then, not being super-popular isn't the end of the world - just learn to plan for it and make more intimate evens.

>> No.7155416

>>7155414
Greentext fail. You get the idea though.

>> No.7155430

>>7155414
Flakes are my biggest annoyance.
If you say you're coming, and don't show up and don't say anything, so the whole group has to wait around expecting you, I want to punch you.
If you rsvp to an event that requires a registration, and then don't show up, goddamn bitch I want to bust your kneecap. It is a huge pita to make reservations and arrange shit, and when people don't show (I've had cases like yours where half or less show up when I've made a reserve for the whole group) it's a big inconvenience and makes the group look bad to the venue.
I just feel like it's common politeness and decency to not rsvp if you aren't going to show, or if some circumstance prevents you from showing up, have the fucking courtesy to take 15 seconds and let the organizer know at least a little in advance.
Sorry for the rant but god it really grinds my gears

>> No.7155469

>>7155146

That happened to me for my bday. I don't even want to make one this year - I just feel it would end up in failure again because all these people are flaky shits who would rather stay with their flaky friends (legit reason given for not coming - "OMG Lol I stayed too long with this bitch you hate and forgot your birthday!"). I feel you anon ;_;

>> No.7155470

>>7155469
>>7155430
>>7155414
>>7155146

I've been there too. This year I made an event for my birthday and only 1 person even said they were going on facebook. It's coming up in a few weeks and I just cancelled it. I'd rather spend it playing pokemon than feeling bad about myself because no one shows up. I'll go out to dinner with my fiance or something.

>> No.7155472

>>7155430
This, this, a thousand times this.
Especially when you're a noticeable group like Lolitas. THE VENUE WILL REMEMBER YOU.
You're forging people's opinion of the entire subculture.

And I know people will think I'm being a bit over-dramatic, but it's true.
I'm from a city with two comms, and the other one went to a fancy hotel shortly before my group booked in. The waitresses said something about "the last time we were in", nothing rude, but we'd never been
before so it was confusing.

We went for Afternoon Tea. They brought their own food, sat in the bar, ordered hot drinks, and generally behave like morons. When we found their pictures from the meetup before us the embarrassment felt like a kick in the chest.

>> No.7155473

>>7155469
>>7155470
IMO it's probably better to personally invite a few people you're closet to than a big group. A couple people in our local comm have made birthday events inviting our 100+ members and it's so awkward especially if they're lurkers and rarely show up to meets

>> No.7155475

>>7155473
I'm >>7155470
and I only invited about 14 or 15 of my closest friends. The three I really wanted to see were going to be out of town the weekend of my birthday and everyone else declined. I would never invite the entire comm to my personal birthday party, firstly because that is, like you said, awkward as shit, and secondly because I don't really want some of those girls to come and shit up my birthday party like they do regular meetups.

But I have seen what you're talking about in my own comm, one girl just barely joined our comm and invited everyone to a barbeque/birthday party at her house. Needless to say, of our nearly 200-person comm, only a handful said they would go and she ended up cancelling it.

>> No.7155479

>>7153235
Ding ding ding!

>> No.7155481

>>7155034
Could be fun, I wouldn't mind people who wear other stuff coming if it's kind of elegant and fancy.

>> No.7155504

>>7155473

This wasn't even lolita, so I shouldn't be posting. The girl in question is one of the people i talk to the most in my class. The problem is that she has extreme low self esteem and is a bit of a cry baby (to put it gently at that) and constantly wants to please everyone. I'm not really mad at her for that, but I would like to tell her one day that she should realise that if she doesn't please someone that it isn't necessarily her fault.

I invited 10 friends and like 3 came. I think this year I'll just stay in and make a Civ V party. That sounds incredibly fun and I know people who would drop everything to play civ with me.

On the bright side, my comm is finally having an event. Not really a gripe at all but I was waiting forever for one and now I'm glad I'm finally able to see what it's like. The people seem nice too so there's that.

>> No.7155776

>>7155479
She has fallen out with pretty much everyone in the UK though, I'm not particularly sympathetic

>> No.7155835

>>7155776
Fair enough, I can see why you'd think 'yeah no big deal', but she hasn't been involved in any kind of drama for over a year and a girl who didn't like her booted her out as soon as she got made an admin and could do so. Petty bullshit if you ask me, but it's no great loss. I never enjoyed the meets much and without her there I have no reason to go, at most meets we're there to see each other more than the comm as a whole.

>> No.7155853

>>7153595
ugh, we deal with this in my comm CONSTANTLY. some of these girls are so immature and don't realise that a "RSVP by this" isn't a soft thing. it's one of my biggest pet peeves and why i really hate putting together meetups.