Lolita/Cosplay Depression

[Anonymous No.7065698]

Back by request. This thread does not belong in /adv/, it is to see how depression directly effects your costume choices, sense of style, and general attendance at events. There are many stressors within lolita and cosplay that can put a strain on one's mental health.

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?

>does your depression affect your style in any way?

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be

>how are you feeling today?

[Anonymous No.7065779]

every year on my first love's birthday I buy myself a bunch of shit.
I think usually "haha, I would of spent this money on that fucker, but this shits all for me now."
and buy myself a bunch of lolita shit.
Retail therapy. Its a problem but then I step into my stuffed walk in closet and it just feels so right.

[Anonymous No.7065832]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita, if yes, how so?
No. The only time lolita makes me feel bad is because of my weight, and usually it's cgl's fault, which in turn is my fault for browsing here.
>if its unrelated to lolita, what's keeping you down?
I feel like a big baby that can't fend for herself, and my parents have done things that have enabled me to be this way. I'm almost 22, going for my master's, and I've: never lived by myself once, don't pay my own car insurance/phone/credit card bills, and I can't find employment in this podunk town that isn't minimum wage.

Most people would look at my situation and call me lucky, but all I see myself as is a burden and a leech that can't break the habit because of control freak parents.
Oh, and having no social life doesn't help these matters.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
It causes me to gain weight because I comfort eat and binge on impulse. So I guess you could say I'm less motivated to get gussied up.
>do you wear lolita less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
Yes. And maybe once a month if I'm up to it. Money has been tight for me so I can barely buy anything new.
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I just want my parents to give me a bit more control over my life, and be okay with letting me go without, and in general not expecting things for me to be 10/10 perfect. To their credit they let me take out a student loan to pay for my college, and they're even thinking of letting me get an apartment (which they insist they must pay for of course) because they want to sell the house and move south.

It's a start, but it's been slow progress.
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Get a decent job after my master's so I can pay off loan debt and go to law school and live on my own.
>how are you feeling today?
Alright. Though I should really go to bed since I have a zumba class tomorrow morning.

[Anonymous No.7065870]

>>7065698
>>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
No, not really. If anything wearing Lolita makes me feel better. I live about a half hour from town, my mother is emotionally abusive, recently I've lost a lot of weight, and had to take in a bunch of my clothes, but each time its, "Well when I was your age, my waist was *At first it was 28, then 26, now its 24* Inches" she screams at me for nothing, and even though she knows I've been self harming and depressed she tells me to just 'get over it, its a mental problem so its not serious'

>>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
Like we said, its the mother, the brother, the whole family situation.

>>does your depression affect your style in any way?
No, if anything I tend to put much more effort into my coords to make me feel better about my horrible body.

>>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
No, not really.

>>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
Moving out, maybe, having the people around me actually appreciate me. I'm not a bad person, but every day they make me feel like one.

>>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Own a cafe, become a dietitian, have my own house a fair distance away but not far enough away that if they wanted to visit they'd have to stay the night.

>>how are you feeling today?
Pretty shit, its my 21st next Sunday and we're having a party this thursday night, and shes telling me that shes not going to come until I appoligse to my brother for standing up for myself when he pushed me against a wall.

[Anonymous No.7065875]

>>7065832
zumba pfft

[Anonymous No.7065887]

I started lifting back in January and loved what it did to my body...except that my upper body couldn't fit into my JSKs anymore.
I've since only been doing core and leg workouts since then but I feel like I'll look like a Loli-Rex

[Anonymous No.7065895]

>>7065875
Laugh all you'd like you hook nosed whores, those fitness classes have helped me lose close to 40 pounds since May~

[Anonymous No.7065905]

>>7065870
Dump those mofos, you don't need them. As soon as I graduated high school I said goodbye to my abusive mother and dysfunctional family. She keeps asking why don't I ever go back or miss them, coming from the woman who took the lock off my door for my entire senior year and never let me study by constantly barging in and yelling at me over petty things. She did the body comparison thing all the time too, would buy clothes and then say "oh it's much too big for me, keeps falling off my hips! Why don't you have it? It would fit you perfectly!" and all sorts of backhanded shit.

>>7065887
Do you want to bulk? I'm lifting but keeping to low reps so it's not really bulking me up, really want to lose my thick thighs and upper arms. If you like how you look then go for it, lolita's pretty covered up and women don't stick out as muscular easily.

[Anonymous No.7065923]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?

Yes, perhaps my only source of depression. I feel like I've been waiting all my life to wear Lolita, but now that I'm too old and too fat, I feel it will always be out of my reach. I'm trying to lose weight, just for the benefit of my health. But I fear that even when I slim down, something about me will always be wrong for Lolita and that makes me sad.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?

Yes, I often dress frumpy, like I want to disappear into the crowd because I don't think I'm worthy of nice things.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?

I tried once, but I hated the way I looked in it. I won't go anywhere near Lolita now until I've lost some weight.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?

I want more control over my life. I feel I can achieve that by getting a better handle on my health and weight issues. I'm not going to starve myself or abuse myself over a fashion and the dream of looking like a pretty princess, but I'm quite dissatisfied with the way I look and I aim to change it. What I want, what I wish for is to look pretty in Lolita. I feel so ashamed for being this shallow, but it's the truth. Maybe what I really want is to not care whether I can fit into Lolita at all.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be

To travel the world, become an aerospace engineer, build robots and wear Lolita all day.

>how are you feeling today?

Pretty good.

[Anonymous No.7065942]

i dont understand why girls make themselves fat. does the fatness cause depression or does the depression cause the fat?

[Anonymous No.7065949]

>>7065942
Both. Vicious cycle.
Also people and even myself have let me down.
Food hasn't.

[Anonymous No.7065955]

>>7065942
It's not like you wake up one morning and decide to become fat. In my case it was learned behavior beginning from childhood. If you had fat parents who never taught you how to eat properly, chances are good you're not going to eat properly as an adult.

When I was in my early teens I begged my mother to buy nutritious food and to dump all the junk she was buying, but she refused. She didn't want her children dictating the grocery list, so to speak. She rarely cooked for me and my siblings and raised us on fast food. We had Burger King every night.

I didn't learn to cook for myself until I left college. I'm not as fat as the rest of my family, but I've always struggled with my weight. It's been a lifetime battle.

[Anonymous No.7065957]

>>7065949
food is for nutrients to keep yourself alive and give you energy for the tasks you want to do. it's not for comfort or for feeling.
you're never going to find what you're really looking for on a plate of food.

[Anonymous No.7065962]

>>7065957
>it's not for comfort or for feeling.
Lol, nobody ever got by in life by deluding themselves dude.
Not saying depending solely on food for comfort is healthy, but you're crazy to believe food has no effect on your mood, or the way you feel about things.
Also, /ck/ would like a word with you.

[Anonymous No.7065969]

>>7065955
but you do wake up one morning, every morning and decide what to eat.
you can actually turn around the effects of excess fat, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and other diet related ills fairly quickly. if you cook for yourself and buy your own food, you can do it in less than a year.

[Anonymous No.7065978]

>>7065957
If overeating could be reasoned away, there be a lot more skinny people in the world. Eating becomes a compulsion for some of us for many reasons, one of them being the fact that being fat messes up your biochemistry. If your body is used to taking in an enormous amount of calories, the slightest caloric reduction will set off alarm bells that something is deathly wrong when you're just trying to eat like a normal person.

I've managed to drop a lot of weight this year by meticulously monitoring ever morsel that goes into my mouth (how's that for an alliteration?). And I'll likely have to eat like that for the rest of my life for fear that my old eating habits might come creeping back.

[Anonymous No.7065990]

>>7065962
it's all mental. the only thing preventing people from their individual goals like proper diet is their own mind. there's nothing physically preventing you from doing what you want unlike a handicapped person or prisoner.
to be fair, it took me a while to realize this. i used to be somewhat out of shape then i cleaned up my diet. mostly due to watching family members in my parents generation face severe consequences for their choices.
i've been eating clean for so long i don't even think about food in the same way i used to. it was all in my head. i'm through the looking glass.

[Anonymous No.7066000]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Yes, my self esteem is ridiculously low and I never know what to say when people say I look good or did a good job. I feel like someone will always look better or be better than me and that person's probably complimenting a bunch of other people anyways...
>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
My mom always told me I had greasy hair/ugly teeth/crooked feet/bad makeup/whatever she could possibly say and this was every day all the time. Also people told me I was really cute and should model so since mom was a model before I asked her and every time I bring it u she instantly gets really mad and says there's "too much competition" or "When I was a model I never really got much work anyways" and all that and I know it's because she really thinks I'm not good looking enough.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Yeah, I always try to dress well and do really well on my outfits to get complements and feel happy that someone thought I looked good that day, but then I think of how I could've done better or they probably say someone cuter that day anyways and feel kind of bad for wanting the compliments in the first place.
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
No, I don't wear it because I'm sad, I just thought it was cute!
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
If mom said she was wrong about all the things she said about me my whole life and told me I was cute enough and I should be happy and try to model and that I actually do look good.
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
To be a real Pokemon trainer, to be a really good model and model for cute clothes, to have a cute fashion line, to have a group like Perfume and actually sing about nice things like they do, and to be a famous makeup artist.
>how are you feeling today?
Somewhat depressed as usual.

[Anonymous No.7066003]

>>7065969
>but you do wake up one morning, every morning and decide what to eat.

Yes, of course I do. I have a mind. I'm cognizant of what I'm doing, and I realize that I consciously make (or have made) the wrong choices. And yet I still do (or have done) them even though, in the long wrong, I don't want to. Why do I still do it? Well, I don't know why. It's just a learned behavior I have to unlearn.

But unlearning years of trained behavior doesn't happen overnight. Neither is unlearning bad behavior successful the first, second, third, fourth, etc., time around. You just have to keep trying and come up with better strategies. Which is what I do.

I've managed to bring down my blood pressure this year by dropping some weight. As far as health issues, that was the only thing I had. Trust me, no one understands better than I do the benefits weight loss deals to my health.

[Anonymous No.7066005]

>>7065895
Anon good work on the Zumba and it's fantastic you lost 40 pounds. Combined with Gym, healthy eating and Zumba I lost 50 pounds.

[Anonymous No.7066011]

>>7066005
I'm thinking about taking up Zumba. I hear nothing but good things about it.

[Anonymous No.7066014]

>>7065978
i have vague memories of the attitude you're describing.
i failed multiple times before accomplishing my goals, or at least getting on the right path.
i had to dump everything i knew and approach the situation with complete objectivity.
it was a complete mental teardown and rebuild. when the dust settled i had discovered perspectives i wasn't even aware were possible. my stress level fell off remarkably.

[spooky !TtE9LXiOmc No.7066027]

so- this thread isn't about the mental illness of depression, but just getting depressed because of /cgl/ related things?
much more on topic than i thought.

[Anonymous No.7066043]

Man, I know it's stupid, but my self esteem plummeted after seeing what people said about me on cgl. I used to feel good about myself, I mean, I had some insecurities about my appearance, but was mostly happy with myself. But I saw some horrible things said about how fat, ugly, and old looking I am. Now I feel like that's what everyone is thinking every time I interact with people, like its always in the back of my mind. I try to forget about it, and not dwell on it or anything. I tell myself they were just bitches, or jealous, or just didn't like me for some reason. But it set off some major depression and self confidence issues in my life(along with other personal shit too, not just those comments)

It's like, intellectually I know it's stupid and I shouldn't care. But I feel like it still scarred me emotionally. I feel so ugly now.

[Anonymous No.7066053]

>>7066043
That sucks to hear. I doubt every person you interact with is thinking that, though.

[Anonymous No.7066086]

>>7066043
>It's like, intellectually I know it's stupid and I shouldn't care.

It's not wrong to care about what other people think of you. You're only human. Those same people who put you down are just as terrified of criticism.

The people on the Internet are not your friends or your enemies. They're just voices that distort the real life personalities behind them. People in the real world are not their online personas.

[Anonymous No.7066102]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
I don't wear J-fashion anymore. I don't dress up hardly at all except for cons. I wear over sized sweaters that go almost to my knees to hide my thighs.
>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
My weight in general is the only thing in my life that I feel I can't fix. I honestly feel addicted to food, but I'm 5'5 and 126lbs so no one takes it seriously. But I cannot diet, I can't not eat junk food.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Yeah, I have thousands of dollars worth of Jfashion that I don't wear because it doesn't fit me right anymore. I also would cosplay if I weren't average sized.
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
Yes, over the past year I have maybe dressed up 7 times?
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I want to lose weight.
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I don't have dreams about anything cosplay or Jfashion related.
>how are you feeling today?
Fat. Fat isn't the right word, chubby is better.

I know it's... Stupid. Because 5'5 and 126 isn't anything bad. But I don't look how I want. The part that gets to me more is that I literally cannot stop eating junk food. I don't have an excuse, or a reason, I just always give in and get more. I feel pathetic and worthless because I just can't so no. And I know it's as easy as just saying no but every time I try it lasts like 3 days max. And it's not even candy, or fast food, I wont touch those. It's soda and microwaveable stuff.

[Anonymous No.7066137]

>>7066102

Holy shit are you me? Im a bit shorter than you at 5'3, but I feel you so hard anon.

[Anonymous No.7066138]

>>7066102
When I was having trouble changing my eating habits, I found I did much better doing it gradually rather than trying to go cold turkey. I weaned myself off juice and soda by making sure I always had a cup of water next to me. That way I was never thirsty, and it was easier to drink that than go to the fridge and get a soda. Another thing that helped was always pouring my soda into a cup, to give myself an extra chance to think about what I was doing.

[Anonymous No.7066147]

>>7066137
I wish you all the best luck in beating this, anon.

>>7066138
I've always been a cold turkey person, but obviously nothing I'm doing is working so maybe I should try weening. I honestly don't know how I could properly ween out soda, though, because it's not like I eat or drink a ton. Maybe one soda a day, sometimes two but rarely. Cutting back on that to what? Half a soda? I only get bottles at super markets, don't have any at home so it's not hard to not get it. I should just start drinking more water, I know I don't drink enough at all.
It's more the microwave food really, and I'm not sure how to start changing that habit other than just not having it around anymore. But I honestly don't know what to replace it with since it's the only food I want. Forcing myself to eat things I don't want is hard. I've gone 5 days without eating a full meal just because I honestly can't make myself eat if I don't want what I have. I just sit there and pick at it until it's either gone cold or I give up. It's really frustrating.

[Anonymous No.7066157]

>>7066147

I usually cook a bunch of stuff I enjoy and freeze it. Veggies especially work well. If I'm hungry and want something quick and easy because I don't feel like cooking, I can just heat some up.

[Anonymous No.7066160]

>>7066138

I have been drinking a lot more water and I haven't seen a difference in weight, but I feel a whole fuckton of difference on the inside. Especially since where I live its disgustingly hot and humid.

[Anonymous No.7066164]

>>7066147

I wish the same good luck for you! Its a shitty feeling to have everyday. :(

[Anonymous No.7066169]

>>7066138
I weaned myself off soda with lemon lime sparkling water mixed with a little juice. Then I just came to like the sparkling water alone since it pretty much did the job of cleansing my palate like soda once did. Haven't had soda in years. I can't even drink it anymore. It just tastes like liquid sugar. Gross.

[Anonymous No.7066170]

>>7066157

I apologize if this is asking too much, but what are some of your favorite recipes that are freezable? Every time I try to do that it never unfreezes right.. if I just leave meat or veggies in the fridge I'm really bad about remembering that I have them and they go bad. I'm desperately trying to break the canned soup habit..

[Anonymous No.7066174]

>>7066157
This, even if I'm cooking something unhealthy, it's still usually better for me than the store-bought version.

Also, I don't know if it'll help much, but you should know that companies spend tons and tons of money developing the most addictive foods possible. Learning about that definitely turned me off junk food for a while because I'm a contrary bitch and don't like feeling as though I'm being manipulated.

>http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/24/magazine/the-extraordinary-science-of-junk-food.html

[Anonymous No.7066188]

>>7066170

Parboiled veggies like asparagus, broccoli or carrots. I also like to freeze hommade pasta sauce which is very cheap/easy to make. Just heat up pasta to go with it, I sometimes use frozen ravioli. Lasagna is nice too, the meat/veggie portion of shepards pie. Try labeling what you put in the freezer too, or putting the newer stuff behind the older things. I also keep certain types of condensed soup on hand as well.

[Anonymous No.7066198]

>>7066170
This. I can't stand "left over" taste. And I can taste it in literally everything.

[Anonymous No.7066320]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Nawh, I've been anxious and somewhat depressed for years. I don't know exactly why, though. However, the pressure of actually looking halfway decent in Lolita does affect me a lot, and has been bothering me a, lot recently. I feel like I'm not good enough, that my coords are useless, that my legs and face are too fat, even though I'm a normal enough weight.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
No idea. Literally no idea.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
It makes me afraid to try new things in lolita. I was torn apart over something relating to my appearance on /cgl/ recently, and now I'm very, very concious of that feature and I want to do everything I can to hide it.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
No, I still wear Lolita every day I can. To town, to college, to the shops, whenever I can.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I don't know. I'm starting to get into a terrible habit of buying things to make myself feel better, but I know by the dream coat hanging on my wardrobe that material items won't magically cure me.
Some things that cheer me up would be spending time with my best friend, my boyfriend, and probably something sad like receiving praise for a coord I put together.
However, these are all quick fixes. I don't know what would make me better.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
University professor in my preferred field, tons of disposable income for things I want, married to someone I know I'm comfortable with, and adopt a load of rescue dogs.

>how are you feeling today?
Not great, thinking of finally making a doctor's appointment. I'm not on anything for depression/anxiety, and I've had two attacks in the last week after nothing for six months. I'm scared.

[Anonymous No.7066322]

Not depressed but bipolar, does that count?

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Not at all.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
Various factors, but obviously the real cause here is my brain not working with me.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
I often don't have the energy to dress up, but when I do, it does make me feel better (a bit less ugly, especially).
When I'm manic, I just wear really edgy stuff I normally would definitely not wear. It's kind of lame.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
I only started wearing jfashion half a year ago so I can't really answer this.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I just want to not bother anyone with my presence.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
A successful career, emigrating to Japan or Canada, travelling the world, helping people

>how are you feeling today?
Could be worse.

[Anonymous No.7066346]

Does anyone else go through periods where they feel too ugly to wear lolita, but then also feeling not pretty in anything else? I'm in one of those periods at the moment. I want to wear my beautiful frills more than anything, but I am so full of self-loathing right now I can't do it.

And on a cosplay-related note, I made a costume to pair with my boyfriend and I really hate how I look in it because it's quite form-fitting and I think I'm so fat. I'm not a cosplayer normally, so it's a bit weird for me being in a costume! But yeah, I worked really hard on that costume and I didn't want to let him down by not wearing it.

[Anonymous No.7066351]

i keep buying lolita in hope that i will feel happy, beautiful and have hope in living. but as my wardrobe grows i still feel sad, useless, alone and ugly

[Anonymous No.7066364]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
No. 9 times out of 10 I don't like how my face looks in photos, but I attribute that to just needing to practice more on a good neutral expression.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
The relationship between my mom and I has never been good, but for the past 6 years its been very damaging and toxic. She's very "success" driven, workaholic, strict and authoritative in her approach to dealing with me. I'm always falling short of her expectations because I'm just slower at doing or understanding things. She's been pushing me to do things her way and at her expectations and times all my life because that's what works for her, but it doesn't work for me, and when I fall short or I just don't want to do it her way she tends to say or do a lot of insensitive things. If I get a low grade in a class it was always a huge deal, if I forget to do something I should feel bad because I clearly didn't care, if my project partner ditches me on the day of the final it's my fault and I let myself get a failing grade, and i should feel bad for being too social or going out too much, or not going out enough, or if i don't take her advice its a personal offense to her and I just, I'm so exhausted. It's like I can never make her consistently happy about anything, and she always knows just what to say to make me feel like useless animal. I'm doing better now, since two years ago I thought of just killing myself to rid her of the burden of dealing with me, but I just didn't have the energy to do it? I don't know. I'm better now that I'm in a relationship with someone that loves me and supports me and has been such a help in getting me to a much more positive place in my life, but a few fights ago my mom and I got really physical about her trying to force me to go to bed ( I'm 25 ). Long story short my back periodically acts up and I know she'll never apologize for that.

[Anonymous No.7066370]

>>7066346
Always, basically. I feel like some kind of overweight mutant whatever I wear, but the feeling does lessen a little when I dress up.

Try to dress up anyway when you feel like that, just think of it as an attempt to become a little less ugly (though I'm sure you're not ugly at all). For example, when wearing makeup I'm still disgusted by myself. But then I think "whithout makeup I would look even more disgusting". Uh. It sounds kind of crazy but it works.

[Anonymous No.7066380]

>>7066364
I didn't mean for that to be so long, sorry. I don't really have anyone I can talk to.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
I don't think so, other than I wear the fashion to feel happy in something I'm comfortable in for once. My wardrobes mainly sweet and pastels, so maybe that's relevant?

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
Gosh no, if anything I wear it more because it makes me happy. If I'm ever feeling bad or moody, I like to put on a simple coord. Sometimes I'll just sit at home online and drink some tea, or I'll go window shopping at a mall. Maybe it sounds superficial and bad, but getting a nice compliment from a stranger or a little girl saying you look like a princess is enough to boost me back towards a positive side.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I really just want to move in with my girlfriend and be away from my mom for a year or two so we can fix our relationship. But mostly I just want to live with my girl. I don't even care if we live in a shack with her two rabbits, I'll be happy and that's all I want.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
i want to finish school with my digital media degree. i graduate in march, and i've made some nice connections already! i want to have a part in creating all those great films i love, or working on the model for a character, or pitching a storyboard for some weird ass thing at 9 at night, again, for the 5th time, because the director had 800 changes to make to it before they liked it.
i also want to get married and try to cook for my lady even if i suck at it, and panic about bills or whose doing dishes tonight. those are probably weird dreams, but i just want my own life.

>how are you feeling today?
exhausted but good. retail isn't glamorous, and it's been crazy since back to school, but i've been there for a year and a half, and i feel like im finally being productive and reaching those goals that i want.

[Anonymous No.7066393]

>>7066370
You make me sad.

Actually, this whole thread makes me really sad.

> Uh. It sounds kind of crazy but it works.

Sad.

There really is nothing good that can come about from obsessing over your looks and the opinions of others upon your looks. All you're really doing is diverting the attention you should be putting into developing as useful human beings with actual thoughts and feelings into what you look like. For what? So you can be torn apart on /cgl/ or impress the weird guy at the campus coffee shop or try to get the attention of other bitches that are just as insecure and self absorbed as you are? This is not a rhetorical question, but a totally sincere one (and no, you don't have to answer me although I am curious, but I think it's one you should answer for yourselves.)

From the outside /egl/ looks like it's about expressing oneself in a kind of unique playful way, but there is *nothing* but the pressure to conform, to be perfect, to be something you are not from the outside.

Sad.

[Anonymous No.7066397]

>>7065698
>Owns Honey Cake
>Is depressed
It doesn't make any sense. Something is wrong here.

[Anonymous No.7066400]

>>7066393
I know it's sad. It saddens me when I see others obsessing over their looks like I do, but I don't pity myself because well, it's me we're talking about. And I think most people with similar issues feel that way about themselves.

Why am I so obsessed with my looks? I honestly don't know. I just feel incredibly ugly and don't want anyone else to see that. I don't want to bother anyone with having to look at my face or body. Count in anorexia, bdd and avpd and there we have what fuels me.

Let me say though, that jfashion does make me feel better. It fits my personality and makes me feel less insecure. My sense of style is the one thing I'm confident about, so I try to use that to my advantage.

Sage for long ass reply and whining about personal stuff.

[Anonymous No.7066433]

>>7066397
first thing I thought.

[Anonymous No.7066470]

>>7066397
It's pink and not yellow.

[Anonymous No.7066476]

>>7066470
>>7066433
hey are people into HC the same reason I am?
Fucking love pancakes

[Anonymous No.7066492]

I've been on meds for 3 years now. I freaked out and attacked my mother, the day after I was getting treatment. It was scary for everyone. As for the questions...

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Sometimes I feel sad that I don't dress as "well" as I used to, and I don't feel very motivated with dressing up with my current closet now.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
I only have breakdowns when I start thinking the people I love don't love me back, which is kind of rare nowadays

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Not really

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
As I said, I feel unmotivated to be original, I've been keeping it very simple (leggings and t-shirt for the most part). I am hopeful this will change and that I'll restart wearing it daily as I used to

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I want a job and my own house and loads of free time

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Have my own place and no troubles with paying it; become a scholar in animal behaviour and be invited to talk about my findings in congresses; become a respected cosplayer because of my skit performances; open a cosplay cafe/bar and hold there tons of concerts and interesting things, maybe even lolita tea-parties and stuff like that; own a dog
>how are you feeling today?

[Anonymous No.7066497]

>>7066492
^Forgot one: I'm feeling great, but not motivated to do anything

[Anonymous No.7066505]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
A little bit. Buying lolita makes me feel better, usually, but sometimes it makes me feel worse.
>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
Feeling like I could achieve more, feeling unattractive and like I lack skills, feeling stupid, being unhappy with my interpersonal relationships...
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
I don't know. I try to wear stuff that makes me feel better?
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
I wear it more than I used to but I get insecure about my gender expression - most of the time I dress pretty butch and I like the way that looks, but then I wear lolita and I look so pretty... I feel silly and unattractive later.
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
Getting a job that supports my hobbies, finishing my degree/certifications, people being impresed by me, my boyfriend fucking me more.
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I guess finishing my IT degree and going to art school part time while I'm working a nice job.
>how are you feeling today?
Bad. Been on about a 2 week down period.

[Anonymous No.7066534]

>>7066102
I really recommend stir-fries. Same instant gratification of microwave food, only in real time and you can directly control what you put in them. Start by frying an onion or putting some garlic puree in the pan, then add whatever you like. I'm really into flageolet/haricot beans as a base starch for stir fries at the moment instead of noodles, and they go amazingly with tomato puree. Supermarkets do little icy plugs of spinach which you can toss in. Tomato puree's also really good. Basically, play 'how many veggies can I get into this?'. Invest in a spice rack, since spices keep for ages and you can use them to completely alter the flavour of the same dish without knowing anything about how to cook at all.

[Anonymous No.7066543]

>>7066534
You don't know anything about cooking or food at all. What the fuck are you on about?

[Anonymous No.7066552]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Not really. I started getting into jfash when I was depressed, because I got a weird kind of pleasure from laughing at lolita drama. Then I started liking the clothes. Oops.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
I'm unfit (skinnyfat), unemployed for over a year, have no observable skills outside of creativity and am pretty shitty at that, too. I'm living with my parents in my middle-of-nowhere town where all the jobs are minimum wage jobs caring for old people and everyone votes for whichever party is the most homophobic, and the friend who lives closest to me lives a hundred miles away. I used to get catharsis from fanfic writing, but I'm so stressed out about my lack of money that I can't write for it any more (and that's even if Tumblr hadn't savaged my mostly LJ-based fandom and killed it dead). On top of that, my grandparents are moving to my hometown for the first time, and although it's not my business to complain I can't help being angry with them for ruining my family dynamic. I fail at everything I try, my self-esteem is a mess, I have dreadful hair, my Dad is working a job he hates to support me and he thinks I spend all my time 'moping' (which is true, but insensitive), my mother refuses to give me a job in her small business because she doesn't trust me not to ruin everything (I have a learning disorder to do with organisation and physical coordination which kicks my ass six ways from doomsday), and I keep thinking about how long and pointless life really is.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
I only wear really cheap/secondhand/old stuff because I'm broke. I own some nice things, but I can't even afford Taobao shipping fees. I live in my tshirt collection and £8 jeans I persuaded my parents to buy me for my birthday.

[Anonymous No.7066560]

>>7066552
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
There's no point me wearing anything interesting because I only leave the house to accompany my parents to the supermarket and I have no friends.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I'm not sure I'll ever be happy with myself. No matter what I do, I just find a reason to hate myself for it.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I want to have my own hitmaking studio where I write and produce amazing songs for just-under-the-radar artists with brilliant ideas but no good, catchy tunes yet. I also want to perform some of my songs at a music festival someday.

>how are you feeling today?
Worse than average, but not deathly.

[Anonymous No.7066567]

This is all such a bad practice. Yes, it's nice knowing I'm not alone, but reading and writing about depression with my peers turns it from something I need to ignore and not concentrate on in to some sort of sick club.
I need to turn off the pc.

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
People that spend a lot of time online can be depressed. People that like lolita/jfash spend a lot of time online, I guess it makes sense that there's an overlap.
Not having enough money for this stuff is saddening for anyone, too.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
I'm just depressed, and jobless and sad. I have goals but I don't know where to start, and when I do write down small achievable tasks to try, I just end up spending whole days in bed feeling useless anyway.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
It kills any sense of self-value or hygiene.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
I try to use jfashion as a way to get out more and meet people, but it feels more like going on holiday from my real life. Everything returns to normal the next day.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
To not be a lazy shit, and to have a part time job.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Job I don't hate.
Flat and studio with a secure vibe.
More drive.

>how are you feeling today?
Shittier than I thought.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7066573]

>>7066560
>I only leave my house to go to the supermarket with my parents and I have no friends
are you me?
>tfw closet full of lots of lolita dresses
>rarely wears them

[Anonymous No.7066582]

>>7066397
I feel you on this. I have Honey Cake in ivory (my preferred colorway) but the torso is too short on me and I look like an idiot in it. I don't want to sell it because it is awesome, but I also never wear it. I see all this adorable AP and know it won't fit me right. Everyone applauds me for my toned down classic style (IW long dresses fit me beautifully) but sometimes I want to wear the cute shit that is always too short.

[Anonymous No.7066584]

>>7066582
If it's something you want to keep, have you thought about altering it into maybe a skirt or a high waist skirt? Or you could even get a complementary fabric and make a new bodice for it.

[Anonymous No.7066591]

I know two groups who are going to do the same cosplays in a few months. I really want to cosplay from the same show, but I have no idea with which group.

One of them is more talented, their cosplays look a bit more professional, which in turn makes me really nervous that I might not be at their level. I haven't known these people for too long either, and even though one of my best friends will be in this group, I still don't feel super comfortable around them, I'm always a bit on the edge.

The other group include people I've known for YEARS, and I'm really comfortable around them as they're really nice and we have a great balance, and some cosplayers who are new to the scene and not as good because of that. But they don't really -care- about that, they have lots of fun anyhow and seem happy with themselves, all of them in that group are like that, really happy and confident when the other group is rather focused on looking good.

I'm so fucking stressed out by this situation. I've been talking to the first group about this cosplay for longer than the second, and I've had tons of fun with them too in the short amount of time I've known them. I feel kind of bound to them too since we've been talking, but they're pretty tight knit and whilst they've been very welcoming I'm still feeling a bit like an outsider sometimes. Considering just dropping it and saying I wont be able to do it, but then I'd be alone that day of the con. I should quit cosplay it stresses me out.

[Anonymous No.7066595]

>>7066560
You've got an ego issue. You've convinced yourself your life should be a specific way because you are you, and you have dreams and aspirations and that means something. Stop thinking like that. Realize that you have nothing and are insignificant, and when you fail it won't matter as much. That will free you from the burden of fearing your own failure, you won't find so much of it in what you do, which will alter your attitude towards doing things. Over time, you will stop thinking about expending effort as failure waiting to happen, and be able to expend more effort on the things you want to do. But you've gotta kill that ego first.

[Anonymous No.7066627]

>>7066573
I'm too autistic to contact my local community too.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7066711]

>>7066627
I've said this a million times, but I'm absolutely terrified of my local community. Its full of nice people, but like, 3 really god-awful mean ones.
I bump into the nice girls sometimes and want to be friends, but I'm so scared that they'll gossip about me like the others do, or hate me so much because of the awful things I said about the community. I often have horrible anxiety attacks when I see them.
I desperately want to go to a meetup with the CT lolitas though. desperately.

[Anonymous No.7066709]

>>7066403
Basically this.

[Anonymous No.7066763]

>>7066595
>>7066627
>>7066543

Thank you, internet psychologists.

capture: preach arsgram

[Anonymous No.7066759]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
not really related? i did spend a bunch on lolita shit recklessly last year and this spring to comfort me when i was in the worst dregs of my depression. i'm recovering now but it's not going super well.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
my parents used to hate my boyfriend and we had to hide our relationship. when they found out they threatened to kick me out and pull me out of school (they control my prepaid tuition) and when they finally agreed to meet him and everything went fine, they did a complete 180 and loved him. but after that, for months i was still reeling from the effects of my parents being total assholes about my relationship with him. since then i went on an antidepressant and gained a bunch of weight and my focus was wrecked so my classes went poorly, but i switched and now i'm slowly losing and doing better in class.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
i don't dress as well as i could, i get forgetful and can't find certain pieces (a headbow to match a dress, the only blouse that looks good on me). it also makes me want make better coords, i just need to adjust a few things. when i posted in the progress thread i got polite concrit so i'm happy about that.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
yeah, i wear it less. i want to try wearing more casual shit to class but im too depressed to look cute for class and its already the first week of the semester. i dont know what i'll do when it gets cold, i turn into a fucking hermit.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
if my friends asked me to hang out more i'd be really happy. i also want my boyfriend to visit, and to complete a set.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
going to grad school in toronto and helping indie lolita brands sell shit at cons

>how are you feeling today?
kind of shitty but not horrible

[Anonymous No.7066777]

>>7066711
Anon... If you said horrible thoughts about the community and know it, don't you think it's a bit reasonable for some of them to dislike you? I mean, really.

[Anonymous No.7066784]

When I went to a con when I was depressed... it went like this:

>excited but no energy to work on the costume
>messed up a ton of shit when working, ended up working a lot at the last minute too
>the end result was shit, and i felt like shit so it seemed even worse
>did not have ANY fun, was just embarrassed to even be in it instead
>felt like "i can't cosplay any character, i'm so ugly and talentless"
>took it off before even two hours had passed
>then felt like shit because i wasn't in cosplay even

Another con I went to when depressed had similar results. Thus I learnt to just not go when I'm depressed. When I'm depressed I make a lot more mistakes than normal when sewing and it just lowers my morale in general too. So if you're like me, I recommend buying your costume when you're depressed and just doing tiny edits if so, so you at least can't feel bad about how terrible the construction is.

[Anonymous No.7066794]

>>7065870
Don't worry anon, my mom, dad, and sister are the same way. They keep telling me I'm fat and I need to loose weight. I'm only a size 4. I used to be a size two for so many years, but for my height I knew I was unhealithy thin. My body was under too much stress and after two years in college I FINALLY hit puberty and went up to a size 4. Though I no longer fit into any of my older costumes or dresses. I'm happy at the size I am now because I physically feel stronger. I got a bit of pudge in my tummy but that's from lack of exercise and I can easily tone up when I finally get my shit together.
Family members can be so thick sometimes, in that they don't understand how hurtful some shit is, and how much it can make you hate yourself. The fact that you lost so much weight in the first place is all that should matter for you. You took the initiative and it payed off in the end. Fuck them

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7066799]

>>7066777
no shit, why do you think I'm so scared.
but of course I wouldn't of said anything in the first place if the three nasties never bullied me or my friends constantly online and in person for no goddamn reason.

but anyways, I'd rather not tell this whole story again. the comm freaks me out and that's that.

[Anonymous No.7066831]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Not directly but my depression made me gain some weight and now I don't fit properly in some of my dresses anymore.
>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
Man I don't even know what's keeping me down. I've apparently been depressed for over 5 years so there a lot of things that could have caused it.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
As said before, it made me gain weight. It was especially hard when I had to temporarily move back into my dads house because I couldn't function on my own anymore and without access to a gym and with access to much more food, well you can guess the rest... I don't feel like dressing up that much
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
It's sort of a paradox. I wear less lolita than I did before but I have never bought so much stuff in my life.
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
Short term plans: how the fuck am I going to pay for that dress I reserved. Guess I'll be living water and bread for a while. Long term plans: finish that goddamn therapy and be sincerely happy. I want to know what it's like to feel happy again. It must feel so good.
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Get a job that I can combine with my studies, write one hell of a bachelor thesis and get over that stupid asshole ex of mine.
>how are you feeling today?
Crap, I just realized I have not enough money to pay for the J et J dress I reserved if payments are due before september 24th. On the other hand I'm pretty excited for Frock On. Who of you depressed seagulls are also going?

[Anonymous No.7066894]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Not really but I'm just a bit annoyed & sad that I don't get to buy a few cute skirts for casual wear as my new college semester is coming soon. Oh well, I can buy them when I'm going through my semester, nothing much really.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
Fought with my boyfriend for god knows how many times. Currently we are in a cold war & it pisses him even more to have him know that my friends are with me. It will take a while & I'm not going to go & sweet-talk him.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Nah I just wear my frills as it is, but usually I appear a bit more down in them.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
No not really, I just wear because I want to. For now it's several times a month, plan to expand my wardrobe and wear Lolita for 2-3 times a week.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I want my boyfriend to be able to blend in to my friends and family without thinking that they are snatching me away.
If it really comes down to break up, I hope I have the heart to move on (& it does not help that I did quite a few cosplay plans with him, I hope I can still pull them off on my own)

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Have a Lolita wardrobe with a nice mix of casual Lolita and sweet-classic hybrid style for fancier days, graduate from my law degree and get my license, continue to cosplay and experiment on different skills, having friends and family being close to me, have a caring boyfriend who supports me in the things I want to do.

>how are you feeling today?
Pleasant, went & watch movie with a few friends, managed to have my favourite takoyaki too. A bit sad because I occasionally thought of the cold war that is going on with my BF, and then I think I spent a bit too much.

[Anonymous No.7066921]

This thread isn't about actual clinical depression, is it?

[Anonymous No.7066942]

>>7066921
Some of it is, some of it isn't.
But who are you to judge, asshole? Shove off.

[Anonymous No.7066969]

>>7066942
Calm down, I was just wondering.

[Anonymous No.7066972]

>>7066942
Don't get so defensive anon, they asked a simple question. What if they have clinical depression and were wondering if it was okay to post?

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7066977]

>>7066921
Op here.
its about both.

I think that anon was getting defensive because the last thread had muktiple anons going "fuck everyone in this stupid thread, I have clinical depression. reported."

[Anonymous No.7067013]

>>7066400
Does anyone ever tell you that you're smart? Or that you're creative? Do you ever tell yourself those things? Just starting thinking about something you did and think "I'm really fucking clever! That was a brilliant idea I had"?

I think you should.

I also think that instead of worrying about your "flaws" (which are probably negligible to the outside world because the rest of us can be just as self absorbed) why don't you use your brilliance and creativity to make yourself feel good? You're using this incredible intelligence you have to make yourself feel like shit instead and that just kills me.

> My sense of style is the one thing I'm confident about, so I try to use that to my advantage.

Start designing. Extend what you feel good about and make it crowd out the shit that makes you tear yourself down. Get a cutting table, dress form and a sewing machine and just learn how to use them-- it will make your world so much bigger when life isn't only about how you look because you'll also have what you can do and what you can make. Please.

[Anonymous No.7067134]

>>7066921
You realize not everyone can afford to go get the help they need at the drop of a hat. Even those of us who can, may not because of career issues or other reasons.

>Mfw raging untreated bulimia because I could lose my job if I got treatment. Recovery is hard, even harder when you can't get help.

[Anonymous No.7067145]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Just my weight issues, as per the norm. I've already been self-conscious of my chubbiness, and my interest in lolita makes it harder to look at myself in the mirror.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
It's also the god damn chemical imbalance that makes my head think it's okay to think shit like MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST DRIVE INTO TRAFFIC. NO ONE WOULD MIND.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
It keeps me from wearing a lot. If shirts don't go down to my elbows for costumes, and my legs aren't covered? I won't do it.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
Sometimes, yes. Maybe wear it for meetups, or once a month if I feel especially pretty

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
If my goddamn diet and exercise would work more quickly, and I could just finish school already.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Have a successful career where I can afford to spoil my partner, be a healthy weight, have thicker and prettier hair

>how are you feeling today?
Miserable. I fucked up my school schedule, got into a fight with my boss, and my parents are so understanding I feel awful. I feel like they should be angry, and they're not.

[Anonymous No.7067148]

>>7066977
I'm the bipolar anon and I was just a bit confused because in the first post you were talking about clinical depression (at least, that's what I assumed) but then this thread ended up being about mental health in general. Often in depression threads you get people talking about how they're depressed because they had a bad week. It feels a bit invalidating to read things like that in a thread about mood disorders but of course it's totally okay for a general mental health thread. So I just wanted to confirm the purpose of this thread. (And I'm not saying having a shitty week can't be horrible or that you're not allowed to complain.)

>>7067013
That's really kind of you to say, you're a good person. It's hard to break through my current thought patterns; I've been in therapy and on meds for a long time which hasn't been very helpful so now I'm on a waiting list for inpatient treatment. I hope that will help me a bit. I do want to get better because I don't want my parents to worry.

[Anonymous No.7067158]

>>7067134
I didn't mean it like that, please read >>7067148

Also, can't you try outpatient treatment first, like weekly therapy? Or is that also not possible?

[Anonymous No.7067314]

>>7067158
A diagnosis would kill my job. ANY kind of treatment could end it, my job has no tolerance for any sort of disabilities, physical or mental. Officially it won't, but I've seen too many people get let go for something like that, so I'm going to play it safe. Ironically enough I work at a hospital, so it's pretty shitty that treatment is down the fucking hallway, but I can't get it without risking everything. I'm actually doing pretty well in recovery, but I'd still like some professional help, because right now it's just focusing on eating properly and not purging without actually helping any of the underlying causes behind it.

[Anonymous No.7067354]

>>7067148
>That's really kind of you to say, you're a good person.

No I'm not, I'm not completely evil (all the time) just observant. If I said something shitty about you you'd probably accept it and internalize it, but I say something not shitty and you dismiss it as "kind." Just accept it as an observation from a total stranger. It's not a compliment, it's not something I say to be nice or to make you feel better, it's just a fact.

And you're right, it's terribly difficult to change the way you think. The human brain has no capacity for intentionally forgetting anything, sometimes it misfires and there are memory problems or is damaged and memories can't form properly-- but that's chance and it's not voluntary. Which means we have to live with our thoughts, which is also why I suggested you use yours to be creative and productive.

> I do want to get better because I don't want my parents to worry.

I know I'm not your mom (I did a head count this morning at the breakfast table and still have just the two I had yesterday) but if I were and I heard you say this I'd be pissed. My whole job as a parent is to worry and plan and set my kids up to be happy and productive people, and to have one of them subvert that would really tick me off. Productive is actually secondary in my book, I worry more about the happy part. Seriously, couldn't be prouder that my oldest is heading towards medical school, but if HVAC made him happy-- I'd be happy to pay for trade school. My point is when our kids are hurt or miserable-- that is what worries parents and makes us feel like abject failures.

If you don't trust one or both of your parents to do that job, to help you be happy and confident then you need to address that with them. It may end well and you'll know they have your back or it may actually be that they are not great parents but either way you owe it to your own peace of mind to sort that out.

[Anonymous No.7067402]

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
When my ex and I broke up, he said he still wanted to be friends. He tells me today that because I didn't want to keep fucking him and I wasn't making an effort to get back together with him, he doesn't want to talk to me ever again. I know I'm better off but I still feel shitty.

[Anonymous No.7067441]

>>7067402
what a douche. i hope you feel better, anon. assholes like that don't deserve to be in any kind of relationship.

[Anonymous No.7067469]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
No. (I wear a gyaru-ish/gothic kind of style which I guess is kind of J-fashion related, but I’m not involved in the gyaru community.)

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
A combination of things. Some of it is biological (depression, anxiety and OCD really runs in my family. I am diagnosed with a severe case of the first 2 but not the last.). I'll be the first to admit my situation isn't the best either and that probably has an impact. I'm 27 and chose to stay at home because my dad is retired, has a ton of medical problems and is an alcoholic. He refuses to do what the doctors tell him and needs almost constant supervision. Not only that, but he's a total and complete asshole when he drinks. It is miserable to be around him. Between my mom and I, we are barely able to continue affording to live in this house and it’s falling a part. My dad refuses to move and insists he’s going to die in this house. He won’t budget himself or reign in his spending at all.

My mom probably has the same issues with depression that I do so when she gets home, she mostly lays in bed. I act like a buffer between the two of them, because I get the feeling my mom would be miserable if it were just her and my dad and she is close to retirement and doesn’t make enough to afford living on her own. No housework or anything like that would get done either, because even though my dad is home all day, he does jack shit and my mom is too tired and just doesn't care anymore. I'm trying to get her to get help, but she keeps making excuses.

[Anonymous No.7067470]

>>7067469
I had an office job that was shitty but paid decent money. Unfortunately, I had a nervous breakdown and tried to kill myself (not while at work) so I was hospitalized for almost two weeks. They let me go while I was receiving treatment because they said I was going to be "out of commission for too long". I'm looking for part time work right now and working towards getting my teaching certificate so I can be a science teacher. Other than that, I nanny during the day to make us extra money.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
I wouldn’t say so, but some people might argue it does since they tend to associate ‘gothic’ styles with depression. Going out in flamboyant clothes can be nerve-wracking sometimes because I’m so anxious. On the one hand, I want to wear what I like, but on the other hand, I don’t really want attention for it.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
Whenever I am not nannying and feeling good enough to get out of bed. Money is super tight right now, so I can’t really afford many new items, but I’m pretty happy with what I have.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I don’t think any one thing is going to magically cure my depression and anxiety. I just want to keep going to therapy, working on my problems and continue making progress.

[Anonymous No.7067473]

>>7067470

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I have an intense fear of driving and car accidents that I want to get over so I can drive. I want my mom to get treatment and for us to fix up the house and sell it for something that’s a little more affordable for her. I’d like a closet full of my favorite clothes. Then once I get in a place where I feel mentally healthy enough to do so, I want to move out, find a tiny nice apartment to split with a roommate or maybe a girlfriend. We’ll cram it with all the anime/manga/games/B-movies/books we like. Then I want to spend the rest of my days living a quiet, uninterrupted life teaching science to kids, enjoying my hobbies and listening to hair metal ballads. It might not be an eventful or extravagant dream, but it’s mine.

>how are you feeling today?
Today is one of my bad days. I go to therapy soon and pick up a new prescription today so hopefully that will help. I plan on journaling and relaxing for the rest of the evening in hopes of making myself feel better.

Sorry that was such a tl;dr. My friends know I'm struggling right now, but I haven't really talked to anyone but my therapist about all the crap with my home life so it felt good to get it off my chest.

[Anonymous No.7067492]

>>7067473
>my mom to get treatment
Is your mom depressed as well, Anon? It's really hard seeing her like this and I had a falling out with her when I tried to talk to her and she blew up saying I thought she was crazy. Really hurt my feelings since I was seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist at the time for issues similar to her's...

[Anonymous No.7067499]

If its unrelated to jfashion or Coldplay it shouldn't fucking be here

[Anonymous No.7067505]

>>7067499
>unrelated to Coldplay

INORITE GODDAMN

[Anonymous No.7067515]

>>7067441
Thanks. It makes me feel better knowing i wasn't 100% of the problem. He has some issues he needs to work out but I always ended up being the cause of everything according to him (until I called him out on it)
What got me was when he told me *Your taking this whole breaking up thing to seriously*

[Anonymous No.7067521]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?

Not really, I'm a perfectionist and control freak which particularly causes my depressions. Then I may have something to do with it.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?

I messed up some things, difficult past, problems with my dad, he has a difficult personality. Social anxiety, sometimes I can't leave the house for days. Bad with socializing even it's with friends, lost a friend for that reason recently. Bad with relationships...
And there isn't much money, I can barely afford studying. And so much more, I can't even remember.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?

Yes, everything looks awful, doesn't matter how I really look like. I don't feel dressing up in lolita then.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?

Take a look at the question above..

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?

I dunno, peace in my head. I can't stop worrying. And probably some distraction, if I'm busy I can't worry too much about things.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be

I want to visit Japan and travel a lot. I want to see some more volcano's and waterfalls, going back to Iceland would be awesome. I also want to have a nice job and don't want to worry about money too much. When I'm older I want to live in a renovated church.

>how are you feeling today?

Okay, nervous but ok. I'm going to Frock On this weekend, I'm really looking forward to that. It just that I'm such a control freak, what if something goes wrong? So many lolitas at the same place, that's great and so much fun. Only for me it also will be exhausting and extremely hard, I guess it's worth it.


Sorry for this, I just needed to write it down.

[Anonymous No.7067525]

>>7067515
>>7067515
Look up gaslighting. I think you'll see a lot of familiar shit on there and it may help you feel better.

[Anonymous No.7067532]

>>7067314
Where do you live? I can't imagine something like that happening in my country, if I'm right it's illegal to let an employee go because of illness, be it mental or physical.

>>7067354
Let me rephrase, then. I appreciate you sharing your insight on the situation.

I'm actually on very good terms with my parents and I love them a lot. I want to become happy because they would love to see that. I have no motivation to change for myself and that's something I'll have to work on really hard, do I want to open the road to recovery. And of course it is the job of the parents to help their children be happy, I just feel it doesn't count for me. I'd rather they'd focus on my little brother because he's a lovely child with potential. Now I know there are people who say the same about me, but I know it's not true. They're either lying or having too high expectations of me. Also, technically I do know my parents (probably) care for me/think I'm important, it's just so hard to grasp. It's so unbelievable because we're talking about me here.

This became an extremely incoherent reply, sorry about that. Also apologies for sounding like an angsty emo teenager.

[Anonymous No.7067544]

>>7067492
Yeah, I think so. She thinks so too and has even said as much. Like I said, whenever she gets home from work, she just lays in bed and doesn't care about anything. She and I have talked about her seeing a therapist and she thinks it's a good idea, but she keeps making excuses and putting it off. She may not be ready yet, but some of the things she has said have indicated to me that she's worried about her job. (A valid concern.) She also seems to think that doing something for herself is selfish.

[Anonymous No.7067555]

>>7067525
Obviously I can't diagnose anything based on a wikipedia article but that makes sense. I'm really forgetful so he would try to spin things around on me or say I was being irrational when I brought up a problem. I'm I was being irrational at some points but things can't be my fault all the time...

[Anonymous No.7067561]

>>7067532
USA. Certain jobs can do this, provided they have a good enough reason of why you "can't do your job" with the illness. It's what they don't tell you in those anti-discrimination laws.

[Anonymous No.7067563]

>>7067499
>Coldplay

A new mene is borned!

[Anonymous No.7067623]

>>7067561
>USA
Thought as much. I'm in the Netherlands and none of that shit happens over here, thank god. I'm really sorry you're in such a difficult situation. Wish you could find a way to get help without your employers finding out about it.

[Anonymous No.7067683]

>>7067532

Don't ever apologize for saying how you feel. You're sharing where you're coming from honestly and I'm just giving you some honest feedback.

> I'd rather they'd focus on my little brother because he's a lovely child with potential. Now I know there are people who say the same about me, but I know it's not true.

So if people agree with the critical view you have of yourself they are being honest, but they disagree then they are liars or delusional?

Let's just think about the implications. Isn't that a little harsh, not only judging yourself in the worst possible light but then impugning the honesty and/or reality of people who notice that you're a capable human being? You are not one of those people that reads a new word in a book and assumes it's a typo, you're the one that figures out what it means-- why then do you think that the rest of the world is wrong when it comes to realistically assessing you as not unworthy of praise or positive attention?

You don't have the motivation to change for yourself because you're not an egotistical asshole. That's actually a good thing. I bet you could find the motivation if you remind yourself that everything you do is a model for your younger brother and kids are little emotional barometers that mimic everyone around them in the most horrible ways imaginable. If you want to spare him the misery of the stuff you go through then let that be your motivation.

Your helplessness is learned, you can learn something else. Set mnemonics for yourself, things that remind you of what you should be thinking consciously about yourself and your decisions. Get a crazy toothbrush and every time you use it, let it remind you to say one nice thing about yourself or repeat a compliment someone has given you. It doesn't matter if it's "I'm great a coordinating my socks!" or "My bed head looks amazing today"-- what does matter is that twice a day when you brush your teeth you aren't beating up on yourself.

[Anonymous No.7067694]

>>7067469
>>7067473
>>7067470
>>dad is retired, has a ton of medical problems and is an alcoholic. He refuses to do what the doctors tell him and needs almost constant supervision. Not only that, but he's a total and complete asshole when he drinks. It is miserable to be around him. Between my mom and I, we are barely able to continue affording to live in this house and it’s falling a part. My dad refuses to move and insists he’s going to die in this house. He won’t budget himself or reign in his spending at all.

Your dad sounds like a colossal, selfish douche. If it weren't for your mom, the fact that you don't have a job yet and the fact that you're in fragile mental health, I'd say leave and look never look back.

>>7067561
Pretty much.They found out that I asked for one morning off a month because I was seeing a therapist and claimed that they were letting me go because my illness caused me to have "frequent absences". I wasn't even taking the whole day off. Just from 9-11. I let them know I would need one morning a month off before I accepted the position and it was fine then. Then suddenly, it changed.

Even if then, there's always a chance your work will let you go by coming up with some BS reason if they find out your having treatment or have an illness.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7067702]

>>7067563
yes, a beautiful one.
"this thread is unrelated to coldplay. SAGE"

[Anonymous No.7067741]

>>7067694
One of my jobs did this. They found out I was bipolar and suddenly "we don't need you anymore". That's seriously the only reason they gave for letting me go. They didn't even have the guts to actually tell me face to face, they did it over the phone. Probably thought I might have an episode or something.

[Anonymous No.7068111]

>>7066147

Maybe you should cut to one soda a day per weekend (2 sodas) and then, free soda but only at special ocasions or meals, and then 1 soda per special ocasion and meal.
I made this way since I had a kidney infection and I needed cut sodium on my diet but it takes a hole year to me to slowly acchieve this point and now I don't drink any soda, only fresh handmade juices, water and tea without sugar or sweeteners.
Before this control I consumed basically only soda like crazy (about 3 to 4 cans a day) and almost no water without even care with body. Surprisingly I wasn't fat.
My body feels so much better without soda and the excess sodium and sugar and I don't really miss drinking it.

[Anonymous No.7068167]

>>7067741
My work did the same thing. When I got into a argument with my boss and told her about my depression. She gave the excuse I was going to be a liability at work. She gave me "at home" work, except she didn't give me jack shit to do. Even when I asked for work.

[Anonymous No.7068796]

TLDR: I have this fun fun bipolar + anxiety mix and it fucking sucks.

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Kind of, in my depressive cycle nothing gets to me more then my weight. I just want to fit into all of my pretty dresses..I tried on a dress that looked wonderful on me 30 lbs ago and I had to let out all the back lacing and I just curled up and cried after that.
Also, in my manic cycle, oh my... the spending sprees I have.
It have more or less gotten a better handle on my spending by having my boyfriend handle paying the bills and I send him X amount every month, no excuses.
Also sent up my overdraft protection to my credit card not my savings so I will manually have to transfer things around if I want something and I can usually kick my self in the ass before doing that.
I really just need to close my credit card or chop it up or something. I pay it off then max it out within 2 months every.fucking.time.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
Also, work sucks. My boss also happens to be bipolar so she understands the shit I go through, so it is cool on that front...but I need time that I am powered off.
I can't take the fact that I will go home at night and I will get at least 1 if not more calls from the store asking for simple shit that they could have called somewhone from another store about. If I open in the morning, I will go home and fall asleep before they close the store.

[Anonymous No.7068827]

>>7068796
I also can't spell sorry

I could set a clock by when they will call me, it does not matter what time I go to bed, they will wake me the fuck up and then not understand why 1. I am too groggy to answer there questions or 2. I am bitchy as hell. SERIOUSLY CALL ANOTHER STORE FIRST.
Long story first, I am a "full time key holder" in training to be the assistant manager but the only two other people who work in my location have worked there for 1-2 months... and my district manager that is around on my days off only....
They both have a fucking NASTY habit of instead of going "Oh I must of forgot" they go "You did not teach me that" and it makes me look like shit and I am supper anxious all the time that I look like I am not training these people.
Thankfully, though, our training process is very document heavy and you have to sign off that you have read, been taught shit, so every time they pull that shit I whip out the paperwork...I was nice about it for a while but I'm done.
It will be shit like "You never told me I have to item count that and check there on receiving"
And then I pull out when they somehow knew how to do it the week before, because they did it on that sheet...
Just fucking fuck them, I'm done being nice if it makes me look like shit. I need that promotion.

[Anonymous No.7068850]

>>7068796

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
yes.
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
I'm lucky if I wear it once a month. I used to be a daily lolita now I just can't bring myself to get out of bed and get all cute because I am a fat peice of shit that looks like shit in everything.
I'm so tall and have broad shoulders, if I gain weight I look like a fucking man.
I also work 40 hours a week and then I get calls every fucking hour of the day from them so when I finally have a day off I am so tired...I just sit in bed doing nothing.
Even my birthday, I just sat around the apartment doing nothing. I did bring myself to dress up that day, at least.
I also have a large amount of debt and I don't make much money so now that I have gotten back in control of spending money I don't have I can't buy things when I am manic and that brings the depressive cycle on faster for me so while I used to have slow cycle I now can cycle from heaven to hell in a day or less.
Also, thinking about not having money makes me so fucking anxious. I had my first attack in a good year last week, fallowed quickly by two more and I feel like I am spiraling out of control again.
I also have this odd spot on my foot that has all the fucking signs of being a melanoma and It is freaking me out but I am to anxious to make a doctors appointment.

[Anonymous No.7068951]

>>7066147
They sell half-cans of sodas, you know. Also tiny bottles of soda.

[Anonymous No.7068952]

>>7068850
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I don't fucking know anymore.
my boyfriend makes me very happy, he can always make me laugh and feel better. But as soon as I am alone for a while like when he is sleeping the depressive thoughts of pushing him away from me come back and I will just sit there crying thinking about braking up with him because I am a useless piece of shit. He says I can wake him up if I am having an episode but I feel like such a fucking burden I don't want to and I will just curl up in a corner and self harm.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I want to get my life back together.
I want to get back into school. I want to finish a degree.
I went to collage for 3.5 years. Was working full time for 1.5 of it so I could get the hell out of my abusive home... and then had a major breakdown under the pressure and failed out. I beat myself up about it all the time I just feel useless, I just racked up this pile of I's because I couldn't finish papers for anything.... I was working to much and so depressed at my old job..Then my grandpa passed during finals week and I could only get an extension for some classes...I was not seeing anyone then and I went to the school shrink and he told me to drop out. As I was negotiating making up finals with the school I was dismissed.
My appeal of the dismissal was denied.

[Anonymous No.7068964]

>>7068952

>how are you feeling today?

I'm feeling ok, getting all of this out helped me, I bet it was imposable to read because I did not Google every sentence to make sure it was not shit like I usually do but I don't care I just needed to get that all out.
I haven't told anyone the real reason I stooped going to school. My boyfriend does not even know the whole story because I hid most of the details from him.
I just told my parents I was taking some time off, they gave me enough fucking shit about that I don't think I could handle being treated less then human like they would if they knew the real reason...I'm going to break and tell them how much of a fuck up I am one of these days when they corner me about it...
I did also eat way to fucking many doughnuts and I wand to punch myself in the gut. I should have never bought them. But besides that OK.
I worked on a budget sheet for September, I am going to fill out the budget sheet and get my debt under control and start to feel a bit better.
I ordered my groceries on line, as I live in a bad part of town all the groceries around hear have produce that will go rotten in a day if it is not already halfway there and have no more processed food in the house, I will get back to a good weight and I will maintain it this time...I felt so good 30 lbs ago...

Sorry I'm done now.

[Anonymous No.7068960]

>>7068952

I just couldn't keep going trying to clean up the mess and never took the finals and just said fuck it, they wouldn't work with me I never wanted to step foot there again. I was just starting to feel OK before my grandpa passed and was starting to negotiate with teachers about starting to clean up I's and I kept having to get the dean involved because they were not helpful even though school policy was that I could complete it at any time and I know it was more work for them but...really?
They really fucked up my life, if I was not so frustrated maybe I would have been able to stay at school and would not be in my current situation of barley making enough for my way of life...I can't afford to pay for school let alone have the money to make up for the hours I would miss.

I want a 9-5 job without homework that pays well enough to support my hobbies.

I want my own home. I hate living in an apartment. I hate that somewhone else has the key to my door. somewhone I barley know. also a shit tun of maintenance workers I have no reason to trust.

I want to see another country. I never have been outside the one I was born in.

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7069278]

>>7068964
I read all of your posts, Anon, and I feel sorry you feel this way. Reading the story of your breakdown from working so hard and going to college reminded me very much of my own breakdown and burnout I had, one year back (I recovered from it completely and I am very happy now and studying again and this is why I dare giving advice).
Most important of all is that you do not have to feel guilty about the state you are in. It is completely comprehensible for me you feel miserable and I am just an outsider who reads this. Everyone who knows you will understand, especially if they love you. I think it would help a lot to tell your boyfriend the whole story because there is nothing to be ashamed of in it.

Under that much pressure, everyone would have crumbled and I think you have kept it up for such a long time now. It is important that you will be okay. It is the first step to go towards your aims and therefore you have to accept the help of others, even if it makes you feel like a burden. It is the vicious cycle of depression that you feel so much like a burden, you retire from those that want to help you. And I am sure your boyfriend does. Stop being afraid to ask for it, I know it is hard.

Together, you are able to get through this. Sit down together and discuss possibilities! I think it would be of help, if you started to take antidepressants (please do not be afraid to take this step- every depression also has a biochemical component and it is important to rule this out in order to feel better long term). I am not sure about the medical structure of your country, but where I am from, you have to go to the psychiatrist for medication first and he can help you get a good therapist.

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7069281]

>>7068964
Because not every therapist is a /good/ therapist and your school shrink seemed to be interested in a fast solution for the school more than in helping you (which tells me he is a huge asshole and in the wrong fucking job, jesus...). If you are afraid, ask your boyfriend to make those calls for you and to go to the appointments with you first. It is so hard to pick yourself back up if you are feeling down and it is okay to rely on him.
I think it will be important to him and make him happy, if you are making progress, if you are actively working on becoming better. Because that's probably how he feels: He just wants you to feel better. You are not a burden, do not tell this to yourself! You are loved and you deserve to be loved and you deserve to be helped to get better.
I wish you all the best for it and I am sure you will make it!

[Anonymous No.7069340]

>>7068952
>He says I can wake him up if I am having an episode but I feel like such a fucking burden I don't want to and I will just curl up in a corner and self harm.
I know this feel all too well. There's no way for a depressive person having a breakdown to just call someone and wake them up, the guilt and anxiety is way too big.

[Anonymous No.7069432]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?

I am 6' as a result even though I am thin enough to fit in brand without much trouble, I still feel like my facial structure and height will never be cute enough to suit the fashion

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?

I can't seem to solve my health issues (persistant tiredness, brain fog, migraine headaches) and I don't have insurance to go see a doctor about it. I've cut out all soda, cook all my meals, and take vitamin supplements but none of it does any good. I feel like I'm letting everyone around me down by sleeping 12 hours a day, my boyfriend understands but it still doesn't make me feel any better about it.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?

I can't work enough to afford as many clothes as I'd like

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?

I wear lolita when I can muster up the energy to put everything on

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?

Waking up in the morning and feeling refreshed, awake and ready to start the day

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be

I'd like to make more money with my music, and start my career, both of which are currently impeded by my health

>how are you feeling today?

Exhausted

[Anonymous No.7069518]

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?

Sever chronic depression, borderline suicidal thoughts. A lot of abuse and abandonment in my life(roughly about 20 years of it). I was sexual abused by at least one family member, emotional abused by my father, and abandoned by my biological mother, and later on my aunt who at the time I was very close to at the time, she decided she was tired of dealing with my dad so she completely stopped talking or seeing me, and never even said goodbye. Add on that bullying through elementary and middle school(and I do mean actual bullying, physical assault, and so on) my only coping mechanism is basically shutting down, not talking, and sobbing alone in the dark. Add on that I lost my job a few months ago due to a boss that drove me to have a breakdown at work and decided I wasn't worth keeping as an employee, and the one coworker who always told me he was my friend, was worried about me, even considered me a friend(and we hung out, had dinner together, etc....) ended up stop contacting me after I had my episode even though he had suffered similar problems and even recommended me a place to seek help.

Also my spouse is having a hard time dealing with it, because frankly he doesn't know HOW to handle me since nobody in his family has really suffered with these kind of problems and he either buries himself behind a computer, or sleeps the whole day when I beg him to go with me out of the house or even just do something that isn't glued to a computer. Also what few friends I do have are either way to busy, live to far away, or just never visit even when I invite them over to my home.

I'm pretty much at a bottom point, and I'm lucky if I'm not crying my eyes out once a day.


>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I really honestly don't know. But my husband and I talked about wanting to open up our own sports bar.

[Anonymous No.7069523]

>>7069518
and the whole family situation feels so complicated. I literally have no connection with my biological mother's family. My father's family just seem to hate each other and the only person my dad talks to is his father. My step-mother's family is the only real family I feel like I actually have and the only ones I speak to regularly are my aunt and uncle. My one brother is living his own life, so I really don't talk to him much at all. My other brother is the one who sexual abused me, did awful things to our family(including pawning off precious family heirlooms and beating our younger cousins) My dad spent most of my life berating me, or only stepping up as a parent to discipline me. Even when we tried to bond over a kid's sport league, he acted like a crazy soccer parent, and as a couch, constantly talked down to me or made me feel like shit because he didn't think I was taking the game seriously enough. To the point that the other parents felt sorry for me. I can't even enjoy the sport anymore because of the whole negative feelings towards it. My dad loved to yell, and even to the point I had an anxiety attack right in front of him. Also he was a fucking hypocrite, always pointing out how his mother never came to his graduation, but on the day I graduated with honors after struggling to keep my grades up to even graduated, he ran off as soon as I finished walking the grass to go bowling. He didn't even stay to congratulate me.

Also the sad part is he doesn't even realize he's one of the biggest causes of my depression. I finally told my parents I had been suffering from depression for all these years and his only response was "Well, we didn't know you were depressed"

[Anonymous No.7069524]

>>7069523
and I'm sorry I've been dragging this on for so long, but I've got a lot of pent up issues and I'm just barely now finding the courage to actually get any kind of help for it.

[Anonymous No.7069531]

>>7066102

>But I cannot diet, I can't not eat junk food.

Just stop fucking buying it. And stop fucking eating it.

Seriously, overweight people who complain about how they "just can't stop" are pathetic and have no willpower.

I was a fat kid too, and now I'm pretty fit. Why? Because I actually eat properly and exercise. I cook my own meals because I'm not a lazy fuck, I watch my calories and intake because I'm not a glutton, and I recognize my own shortcomings because I'm not an excuse-making slob.

The first step to stop being pathetic is realizing that you're a fucking failure. Then, make efforts to stop being a failure so you can become a winner. Everything you make an excuse, you fail. Every single time. You're a failure. Failure. Failure. Failure.

You know how to stop failing? Win. Stop saying shit and do something about it. "It's not like I can just flip a switch and magically change myself." You think it's easy, fucker? Nobody said it was easy. JUST CHANGE YOURSELF, HOLY SHIT.

[Anonymous No.7069536]

>>7066102
You're not fucking chubby. I'm 5'3" and 125 lbs and I'm still thin. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous No.7069537]

>>7066972
Go back to tumblr? Really, look at the way it's phrased, it does sound like it's being arsey.
>>7066969
Cool as a cucumber. Just read the thread next time.

[Anonymous No.7069538]

>>7069531
>The first step to stop being pathetic is realizing that you're a fucking failure.
Just because a person has a hard time losing weight doesn't make them a failure you cock gobbling shitbuster. Do you seriously believe even people who have lost weight never have moments of weakness, or for that matter that you haven't?

Then ofc you completely contradict yourself later by saying "weight loss isn't teh easy hurrhurr."
Second of all if you really gave a shit about motivating people to lose weight you'd actually give them advice instead of trying to belittle them and make them hate themselves, like how you obviously do. Stop busting peoples' balls you unbelievable jackass.

[Anonymous No.7069539]

>>7069536
This.
There is such a thing as being unhealthily thin, just as one can be unhealthily fat.

[Anonymous No.7069541]

>>7069538
>Just because a person has a hard time losing weight
You do understand that she's almost underweight, right? Of course she's going to have trouble losing it, she's not supposed to in the first place.

If you're fat you lose weight fast, but as you get closer to normal weight you have to do a lot more work to take off the pounds. Anything past your normal weight range / BMI is fucking ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.7069543]

>>7069538
Thank you. As someone with a non-chemical dependency and regularly goes to groups and interact with others who have similar issues, believe me when I say that beating yourself up when you "fail" does NOT help. It only makes things worse.

Behavior and willpower is a skill. When we fail we have a tendency to get mad at ourselves because we "know better", but just because you know how to do something doesn't mean you're going to be good at it right away. Just like with any skill, it's going to take a lot of practice and a lot of mistakes. As long as you keep trying, you will get better at it, even if it's hard to see.

[Anonymous No.7069544]

>>7069538

>Just because a person has a hard time losing weight doesn't make them a failure you cock gobbling shitbuster.

Oh, but it does when they open their mouths and say "I just can't stop eating junk food.", then stuff it full of Twinkies. They are failing, and they are a failure until they fix it.

>Do you seriously believe even people who have lost weight never have moments of weakness, or for that matter that you haven't?

If you don't overcome your weaknesses, you're a failure. Pushing as hard as you can in times of distress is the true measure of a person.

>Then ofc you completely contradict yourself later by saying "weight loss isn't teh easy hurrhurr."

Never said doing it was easy. Might want to read my post again. Or get some eyeballs. I hear they work wonders.

>Second of all if you really gave a shit about motivating people to lose weight you'd actually give them advice instead of trying to belittle them and make them hate themselves, like how you obviously do. Stop busting peoples' balls you unbelievable jackass.

People like that don't need coddling, and they don't need to be baby'd. They need a fucking slap in the face. They need some fucking stinky, sweaty gorilla to slap them in the face every single time they reach down for an Oreo. You bet your ass they'd stop eating Oreos after getting slapped about 20 times by a stinky gorilla.

[Anonymous No.7069549]

>>7069541
>You do understand that she's almost underweight, right?
So what? Fucking STOP telling someone who's underweight/overweight/average that they're fucking pathetic losers.
Point blank: It's not going to help them like themselves, it's not going to help them feel better about where they want to be, and it's certainly not going to accomplish jack shit.

I don't care if people give general advice, whatever. But I take innumerable offense to someone getting on their high horse and pretending they're not as flawed as the next person on 4chan.
>inb4 getting offended on 4chan
>>7069544
And you, read what I just said instead of making excuses for your unnecessary vitriol. Deep down you know better.

>>7069543
Agreed.

[Anonymous No.7069548]

>>7069544
Please read >>7069543 because you are an asshole that has absolutely no idea what the fuck you're talking about. You're a bully with no understanding of human behavior. Maybe you think that shit works for you, but it sure as hell isn't the answer for everyone.

[Anonymous No.7069565]

>>7069544
I agree with this as someone who lived a long time with self-defeating depression. You are all just once again making excuses and playing some sort of imaginary victim here and missing the point. There is a difference in acknowledging that you have failed and deciding what your next, better course of action will be to change yourself and just beating yourself up about something. He is not suggesting the latter. You are putting these words in his mouth, much like you continue to shove food in your own mouth and make excuses for why you can't stop.

[Anonymous No.7069573]

>>7069565
>I agree with this as someone who lived a long time with self-defeating depression
So you think it's helpful advice to combat self-defeating depression by calling yourself pathetic and a failure?....Hm...sounds....SELF-DEFEATING.

And I repeat for your knowledge: Having a bad day and stuffing your face with a burger isn't a signal of being a failure or failing. It's called being a human being, and the only thing that matters is your effort the next day to do better.

[Anonymous No.7069579]

>>7069565
>implying we're the ones putting words in their mouths
They literally said people are pathetic >>7069531
>overweight people who complain about how they "just can't stop" are pathetic
Also implied they're lazy, gluttonous, and slobs who are also failures.

You're a samefag because nobody else would seriously defend that bullshit and try to make it sound like they weren't implying the latter when that's LITERALLY what they said.

[Anonymous No.7069593]

>>7069531
For some people feelings of failure act as a motivator, but for many they are a depressor and are counterproductive.

[Anonymous No.7069627]

>>7069573

>And I repeat for your knowledge: Having a bad day and stuffing your face with a burger isn't a signal of being a failure or failing.

Yes, it is. You disgusting slob of a failure. You failed to achieve your goal. So, you failed. How does it feel to fail? Maybe if you properly motivate yourself, you won't fail next time.

>and the only thing that matters is your effort the next day to do better.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that every time you fail. That way, you can just keep making poor decisions and cover it up with:

>it doesn't matter because it'll just do better next time tee-hee!

When is next time? The next time you're not feeling a tiny bit lazy? Or a tiny bit sad? Or a tiny bit stressed? How about spending your time winning instead of failing.

[Anonymous No.7069633]

>>7069531
>> 7069544

Mother. Fucking. This.

(In isolation, I haven't read the entire thread leading to this statement)

Seriously though, I think it's so fucking hard for us women to lose weight because all the information out there that's targeted "for women" is absolute bullshit. Yes, I understand that many people like all these motivational, positive mantras and positive reinforcement, but in reality I think this really hinders most people's ability to really improve. We're conditioned to (even just sub-consciously) find the reasons why we're not how we'd like to be and to always use them as excuses as to why we can't change.
All this talk of "nobody's perfect", "my metabolism's slow", "i'm depressed" seriously, /fit/ has it right with their NO EXCUSES. Just DO it. do SOMETHING. Don't be afraid of failure, because you WILL fail and if you can't accept that then it's a really fucking slow, disappointing road ahead for you. None of this "I gave in to temptation but I've been working really hard this week and so I think I deserved a little treat, we can't be perfect all the time so it's only one hiccup in my long journey ". Just face the facts: "I fucked up my eating plan today, no excuse, won't do it tomorrow." Simple, to the point, no bullshit. You don't have to beat yourself up, nor find justification just admit you FAILED and MOVE ON.
I couldn't get out of my mess until I actually opened my eyes and saw I SHOULDN'T be telling myself "I'm not pathetic, I'm just depressed" ... they're not mutually exclusive. I WAS pathetic and WAS self-defeated but only because I wasn't trying to change anything.
There is a reason why most of the people who have reached their goals or see the end in sight talk like this: it helped us. Someone slapped us with reality and helped us see the light; I hope I got some of you angry and will now make a change.

[Anonymous No.7069634]

>>7069627
you here from /fit/ or something good god

[Anonymous No.7069635]

Continued from
>>7069633

>> 7069538
That WAS their advice, you fuckwit, if you haven't done something you've set out to do, you've FAILED but that's O-fucking-K, just try again until you succeed

Just before anyone comes out with "herp derp you've never been there, you don't know" ex-150kg-depressed-10-yr-self-harmer-fag reporting in.
>> 7069543
> As someone with a non-chemical dependency and regularly goes to groups and interact with others who have similar issues, believe me when I say that beating yourself up when you "fail" does NOT help.
As someone with an ex-non-chemical dependency who used to regularly go to groups before I realised they were fucking me up more, believe me when I say that admitting failure is GOOD, dwelling on it is BAD; learn the distinction.

[Anonymous No.7069654]

>>7065942
Both, but depression can cause fat in more ways than you'd think. Some people overeat because of the depression itself, and seek to comfort themselves with food. Other times, the medications that people take to combat depression can cause significant weight gain, sometimes by themselves. One of my old meds had massive uncontrollable carbohydrate cravings as a documented common side effect. There are also meds out there where you can keep eating exactly the same type and amount of food that you did before taking them, and still blow up like a balloon because they screw with your body chemistry so much.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7069688]

>>7069432
ah! a fellow 6-footer! I wear brand a lot. (i'm no expert at the fashion but I do know what dresses fit)
>salopettes are life
>strapless and tied halter dresses are god-teir
>haneuli's OPs will fit you perfectly
>welovecolors has size "tall"
>some stores on storenvy have tall sized tights
and about the face shape? fuck it, who cares. I've got a horsely androgynous face, but I still enjoy doing what I love.
we should be skype-buddies and look at lolita shit together. if you want. skypes in the box.

[Anonymous No.7069715]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
My depression isn't really affected by my involvement in the Lolita community. Occasionally, going to meetups aggravates my anxiety issues a little, but that's the worst of it.
>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
I've been dysthymic most of my life, and even with medication and therapy, I will probably continue to have ongoing mild depressive symptoms coupled with on&off severe depressive episodes that usually last a few months. Right now, I'm in the middle of a really shitty episode because I'm having issues with my medications, and I'm unhappy with my current work situation.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Sometimes when I'm really bad, I really lose my appetite/get full really fast, so I tend to lose weight. This isn't a big problem for Lolita, because I can fit in a lot more brand at 66.5cm waist than I did at 71, but now I'm not filling out some of my clothes the way I should.
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
I'm trying really hard not to wear it any less than I did before. Lolita still gives me something to look forward to, and makes me feel pretty, so I like to dress up at least once a week. My everyday style on the other hand (twee, vintage, and normal stuff), is suffering because I just don't have the energy to get dressed up and do my makeup every day.
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
Well, getting a better job would help a lot, and sorting out my med. situation would be awesome.
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
Get a better job that pays what I should be making, start a retirement fund, pay off my student loans, and get a new car.
>how are you feeling today?
Like shit. This medication makes me tired as hell and I can't wait to get off of it.

[Anonymous No.7069734]

>>7069627
>You failed to achieve your goal.
>one day of bad eating
>ZOMG FAILED GOAL LIEK 4EVARRRR XD
Fuckwit. Anyone else sick of this obvious samefag itt?

[Anonymous No.7069790]

>>7069688
Salopettes for taller girls? Which brand you prefer may I ask? I'm 5'7" and I have friends telling me not to try salopettes as it is already short on shorter girls, so I never dared to try them.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7069803]

>>7069790
the thing about salopettes is that they are supposed to be short, which not a lot of people realize. They have adjustable straps though, and I lengthen my salopettes all the way. I have a bunch from angelic pretty, and they go above the knee, which is where salos are suppose to sit.
I don't care about any of that "no knees" bullshit.

[Melvarkie No.7069849]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Somewhat. I feel like a big failure and being a disgusting chubster and feeling like every coord i make is ita, isn't really helping me. One moment i am like ''oh I like this'' and the next I feel like a disgusting ita pig.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
There are days that I am afraid to put on anything Jfashion. Just throwing on everything to switch back into jeans and a shirt as fast as possible. Scolding myself for not looking perfectly right.
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
Not really, i was insecure when i started with it and i am still insecure now
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
Lose some weight and have some more money so I can build an actual loli wardrobe which is not just a few blouses and dresses
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
- Lose at least 10 kg
- Own something from actual brand
- Get a bigger lolita wardrobe so I have more coord options
- Go to my first lolita meet and actually be liked
>how are you feeling today?
Really tired and I have a headache. I am worrying a lot about a lot of things. For example that i have to VJ tomorrow and that I have trouble working with the theme (Jersey Shore) and being afraid that everyone will hate the wall that I shall cover, because the person that covers the other wall has this amazing mapping and all sort of cool stuff, while i am just going to beam a few clips..

[Anonymous No.7069899]

>>7069688
salopettes aren't really considered lolita, though, they're more like lolita prints for casual wear...
also strapless/halter dresses are kind of impossible to find. I mean I think IW made a halter-tie JSK once? but that is one of the only ones I can remember. i have no idea where you've seen strapless lolita dresses before.
haenuli ops aren't a guaranteed perfect fit, either. as far as I can tell, the construction on their little prince OP was a hot mess (bodice/skirt way too long, totally different from the stock photos on their site) but their royal kitten OPs looked fine even on models of average height, so right now it looks like their quality is hit-or-miss.
I'm 5'9" and have never had an issue with finding tights that fit, and I don't have to resort to just solid-color options either. Most brands offer a M/L option. I very rarely buy legwear from japanese brands unless they're tights that I'm planning on chopping and turning into OTKs, in general finding loliable hosiery on ebay or in western stories is much much easier.
Taobao is a godsend for me because many stores offer customisation options. It may seem like a pain, but asking your shopping service to make a request for a couple extra inches on the skirt can make a worlddd of difference.

[Anonymous No.7069909]

>>7069899
>strapless/halter dresses are kind of impossible to find
What are you talking about? Halter dresses are fairly common in sweet lolita. AP have released quite a few, and yes, even some print dresses have a halter JSK version. Meta also release quite a few halter dresses, and I know BtSSB have too. Strapless is not as common, but it's been done in classic lolita. JetJ have released a handful of strapless dresses.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7069911]

>>7069899
ah, Hanueli's dreaming cinderella fit me perfectly,
I don't mean the fairy-kei salopettes, but the ones that have a lolita silhouette-are supposed to be worn with pettis.

I've had trouble with customizing things so far, people always mess up on the bust seams despite my very descriptive requests and measurements.

[Anonymous No.7069962]

>>7069909
I'm not into sweet, so I probably missed most of those? I can only remember seeing one or two from any classic/gothic brands. I was mainly thinking of strapless dresses, but if JetJ is behind it then that explains everything. some of their designs have gotten really odd recently.

>>7069911
ah. I've never actually seen you wear lolita with a petticoat. I assumed that's why you meant the shorter A-line ones that are catering to other street styles.
If you're having difficulty getting things to fit your bust right, maybe you should look for more items with shirring or corset lacing? those descriptive requests are probably easy to get confused in translation. I have a really huge ribcage and wide shoulders, but as long as I give correct measurements it's never been an issue with any custom order I've made.

[Anonymous No.7070066]

>>7069688
Added you! <3

[Anonymous No.7070072]

depression tends to affect my cosplay. i rarely finish one or live up to anything because half way through i lose motivation to finish or even want to go to the con i was planning it for
i end up wasting money on things ive already bought and never put together

[Anonymous No.7070079]

>>7069962

you can always buy JSKs and either alter them by seam ripping the straps out of the back of the jsk and rehemming everything, or getting an AP jsk with the detached straps.

Tall lolitas unite

[Anonymous No.7070621]

>>7069911
I wore my friend's Stained Glass out and it fit perfectly, I've noticed the Korean brands fit taller girls really well for some reason.

[Anonymous No.7070722]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?

Not really... Though when I'm stressed out or at a low point I tend to make more impulsive purchases...

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?

Family. Friends. My mother expects too much out of me and when I don't deliver can guilt trip with the best of 'em. My father treats me as if I can't do anything on my own to an extreme and thinks I have something severely wrong with me. On the friends scale of things a friend I have plans to buy an apartment with is rushing into getting an apartment NOW NOW NOW when I don't even have a job yet... and I have made it clear to her I don't want to go through with this until I can afford it, obviously

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Not really. I may spend more time applying makeup on bad days because it's something quiet and slow to do and the results can boost my mood.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
I don't typically wear jfashion outside of special events... though I do notice when I'm feeling shitty I neglect my sewing pretty badly.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
A job. Any job, really. One that pays above minimum wage and that I could live off of would be... fantastic...

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I guess being a writer? There's always been a lot of pressure on me to become an author by immediate and not-so-immediate family. I'm majoring in English just because I can't picture doing anything else. That being said, I don't actually know if I'm good enough at writing to succeed in this field...

>how are you feeling today?
I was feeling ok for awhile but got upset over something really small and now I just want to take a nap.

I know a lot of these things are my fault, it's just nice to vent I guess

[piplup !pipLUpapew No.7071983]

I've been on meds for depression/anxiety since middleschool. Thanks to an insurance screw up, I ran out of my meds and I can't get any more until they fix their shit. But now... like... I don't even know if I want them back. I had two weeks of withdrawal which sucked, but aside from that... woah man.
I used to be tired all day and take naps, and require 1 - 4 sugar free red bulls per day to help me get my shit together. Now I'm not tired, I feel no need to nap, and I haven't had a red bull in I'd say... maybe a month and a half? There's a whole case untouched. I also lost all desire for sweets. I was asked to bake cookies today, and the smell was just completely fucking nauseating to me. I haven't even tried one because... I don't want to.
I've also managed to lose I think 90% of the weight I put on in Canada due to shit diet of host.
Makes me actually want to... make a cosplay that doesn't suck, or something. Mood wise I'm still pretty down, nothing specific keeping me down. I've just always felt that way.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7072235]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Being a Trip is hard. people go out of their way to start drama about you and be asshats because a name in a box, but I'm not going to take it off because I feel like my name gives me a better connection to anons, and kind of builds up this weird one sided friendship. I freaking love almost all you girls.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
I hate this fucking city. I want real life freinds. everyone I've ever met is either crazy, always busy, or underage B&

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
after being called ugly a bunch of times, saying I didn't suit sweet, I switched to gothic, and bought a couple dresses.
after they came in, I realized sweet was my thing and I'll never leave my sweet baby again

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
I wear lolita a lot less. I rarely wear it at all. I switch to pop-kei and more normalfaggy outfits.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
IRL friends. someone that stands up for me. someone to wear frills with, to shower with gifts, to gossip and giggle with.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
This sounds cheesy as fuck but I want to be rich as fuck, take everyone I've ever connected online in one giant trip to Japan, and just be like "yo, buy whatever you want, I'm paying." and just go on a crazy shopping spree, they'd be so happy. I want to spoil everyone.

>how are you feeling today?
eh, alright. have art class pretty soon. I hope its not full of normalfags, and I hope I can make a good friend

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7072246]

>>7071983
May I ask what meds you have been taking? The thing is that, even after it seems like the worst is over with the withdrawal, the body still has adapted to a certain level of medication and especially if the meds have been taken for a long time, the big fuck-up might come half a year afterwards :/ I mean, I think it's great that you had the side-effect of losing unwanted kilos but it might be a good idea to get insurance to fix their shit ASAP.
Also, if your medication kept you sleepy , there might be better alternatives- medication that has a more 'energizing' component. Maybe talk to a psychiatrist about it?

[Anonymous No.7072248]

>>7072235

>being a trip is ~so hard~
>but I won't take it off for weird clingy reasons
>people go out of their way to start drama about meeeeeee

Clearly, being a trip isn't hard enough.

If you are literally getting depression from an anonymous catty board where it is given that everyone will be a sandy cunt, you need to look at your life and choices and question where you're going. I'm not even your favorite vendetta chan, just a passing anon getting tired of you being a spaz. Chill, and maybe I'd like you more.

And strangely enough, I do not have a problem with other tripfags that I can think of. So no, it's not a trip thing.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7072263]

>>7072248
>implying that people don't go out of their way to start drama about trips
top kek

its ok honey, I don't need you to like me.

[Anonymous No.7072265]

>>7072263
Nia stop replying to them. You're only going to egg on the situation.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7072271]

>>7072265
I'm just making it clear that she isn't invited to my happy japan-funtime if I ever win the lottery

[Anonymous No.7072272]

>>7072263
Nia, you're very cute and adorable and one of my favorite trips, now shut the fuck up and stop replying to them.

[None !Ziz8ps0aw6 No.7072280]

>>7071983
Good for you. I was on a lot of anti-depression and anti-anxiety medication up until a year and a half ago when I had a terrifying experience that completely changed my life. I decided to stop taking all of it and get into fitness instead. It took a few weeks to safely wean myself off of everything and the withdrawals were horrible, but I came out of it feeling clear and redefined.

I still have panic attacks once in awhile and I still get depressed and anxious - but I'd much rather deal with the feels and get my endorphins naturally by lifting some heavy weight at the gym than take a pill to "fix" my problems. I sincerely believe that a lot of people can address their mental imbalances and thought disorders with proper nutrition, regular exercise, and prayer.

[Anonymous No.7072290]

>>7069518
>>7069523
anon from here. This just happened today.
>Mom tells me dad's going in for surgery.
>Tells me she'll call me to let me know what time my dad's surgery is so I can be there for him.
>I get a text, not even a call, this morning. That my dad is out of his surgery
>mfw

and basically I was given the excuse that she found out at 8:00pm last night. But instead of tell me about my dad's surgery, she sends me a text about something completely unrelated. But "Oh, you can come visit now!

Part me knows I could have easily just called myself, but I'm hurt that she couldn't take the time to let me know like she promised she would so I could arrange to be there.

[Anonymous No.7072320]

>>7072263
>>7072271

So you still agree that an anonymous image board is causing you depression?

Though points for using humor to diffuse the situation. Not effectively, but we all have to start somewhere.

[Anonymous No.7072357]

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Not really, but it might in the future. I just ordered my first lolita skirt and blouse and plan on going to the local con with it. I can only hope that a lolita from any community will notice me and ask me to join them or something, if that doesn't happen I will just throw the lolita clothes in my dresser, only wear them at home and feel sad.

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
The usual - no friends (other than you anons), bad conversational skills (people often ask me to repeat, I'm very bad at explaining, I mutter and mess up words a lot) and teasing/bullying in middle school left its marks.

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Due to problems in the "what's keeping you down" section, I do my best to not be noticed and to blend in with the masses as to avoid people speaking to me. Dull, gray colors and jeans.

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
If I will wear Jfashion, I will only wear it at cons and meet-ups.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I want to have excuses and no responsibility, I suppose. Also I want to be invisible and kill a lot of Russians.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I want to go to an artschool and become an illustrator, earn a lot of monies. Get married to an above average animu fan and have three kids. Also kill Russians.

>how are you feeling today?
Rather gay, thank you.

Well, I sure found out a lot of things about myself from this. Sage because I'm not comfortable with all this blogging. I don't think I'm depressed in a "I want to die I hate everything and myself" way, I just feel sad, tired, bitter and lonely.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7072570]

>>7072320
you don't seem to be attacking me so I'll tell you honestly.
No, its not what's causing my depression. its more of the lack of friendships I have in person. but /cgl/ does get under my skin every now and then, and I do take breaks.

In other news, came back from art class
>meet kid
>blends into crowd, pretty stylish
>asks me if I went to local con
>I say yes
oh yes a potential friend
>he tells me he went and cosplayed sasuke
>mfw

I am so desperate I might try to make it work.
I haven't asked him his opinion on fedoras yet. if he thinks they are "LUL SO EPIC XD" I'm out

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7072938]

>>7072280
You DO know that there is a difference between a reactive depression caused by a terrifying experience and a longterm depression with a neurotransmitter dysfunction? Maybe it works like that for you and that is really great and everyone is happy for you that it works this way but if someone has been taking antidepressants since middleschool and you do not know the cause of their depression please stop giving them bad advice!

If you have been taking psychotropics over years, a complete and sudden withdrawal is absolutely not healthy and the dose and type of medication matter a lot so you can not simply hand out your personal experience as the number one recipe, especially not if it worked for a reactive depression with a relatively short period of medication.

Withdrawal is possible and proper nutrition and regular exercise help a lot, yet a proper withdrawal should ALWAYS be advised by a specialist and go by slowly lowering the dose when the cognitive component of the depression has been resolved through therapy and if the time is right (SAD should be ruled out by starting a withdrawal in spring).

I know you only want to help but you are advising from the position of a personal experience, rather than any professional knowledge and in this case it can really go wrong, you know?

[Anonymous No.7073878]

pizza

[Anonymous No.7073888]

>>7072570
It sounds like part of your problem is that you're picky and hold people to high standards. So what if he likes Naruto? Is it harming you in any way? No one is going to be THE PERFECT FRIEND with all the traits you like in people and none of the traits you hate. Everyone has flaws and wear on you over time, but rest assured you're wearing on them too, and if you both can handle that friction, then that's how good friends are made. My best friend is a braggart and a snob, and she's rude to waitstaff, but I like her sense of humor, her sense of style, and the way we have fun together more than I dislike those traits. I'm 100% sure I do things that annoy her sometimes, maybe all the time, too. But she's never said anything to me about it.

I guess what I'm getting at, Nia, is this: you live in buttfuck nowhere, southern usa. Lower your standards and give more people a chance.

[Anonymous No.7073898]

>>7072248
This x1000 Nia I actually like you but lately you've gotten so attention whorey and obnoxious that I can tell even with your trip off when you're posting, and it's not just a HURR TRIPS ARE BAD thing either. I can't even think of another tripfag off the top of my head, I don't pay attention to names unless people give me a reason to. I even used to be a fairly well known (some would say notorious) trip, not on /cgl/ but another board. So no, being a trip is not hard. Being annoying to the point that people remember and take notice of your trip? That might be hard, but it's also fixable.

[piplup !pipLUpapew No.7074056]

>>7072938
yooooooo
it's cool. I'm not going to completely abandon my psychiatrist for the gym... although I do think spending more time working out would be good for me.
>>7072570
Yeah don't let weeby things like that bug you. I made some new friends that type online weebily with their :3 and xD and might be described as being a little too interested in Japan, but they're pretty cool in person so whatever. Just let them do their thing.

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7074716]

>>7074056
Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional. It just happens to make me angry, if people act as if medication was unnecessary when itcan be really helpful.
However, working out can really help with the production of endorphines and it can also help you feel your own body again and get more active.

[ValleLator !nCGvC6eOuQ No.7074735]

Answering based on cosplay.

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
Nope
>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
Without saying shit that /cgl/ will use against me - I'm just coming to realizations in my life as I get older.
>does your depression affect your style in any way?
Nah. Cosplay makes me happy.
>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
...I don't know if this one applies.
>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
I just need to get back to homeport so I can start my projects. I have a MILLION ideas and love building props and learned how to sew in middle school and plan on fully making my own costumes.
>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I just wanna live an animu life. Pilot mech suits and have adventures and shit.
>how are you feeling today?
Chill as fuck. Went to the anime store today and picked up some shit. I love Japan.

[ValleLator !nCGvC6eOuQ No.7074736]

>>7074716
Here's the thing though.
Sometimes meds ARE unnecessary.
Like. More often than not.

Yeah some people need them but it seems like most of the time doctors just throw that shit out there and it actually leads to even MORE of an imbalance.

[Anonymous No.7074779]

>>7066147
Anon why have you never noticed that they make calorie free soda you fucking moron?

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7075456]

>>7074736
And still, in a case where medication has been administered for a long time, it is a bad idea to go cold turkey without the advice of a professional because the big drop can come about half a year later and if there has been no restructure of the cognitive component, it will be very hard to deal with the changed affective component and another major depressive episode might occur.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7075485]

>>7074779
probably because they taste like shit?
>>7074056
Yeah, I've just had horrible experiences with weeaboos in the past so I'm just weary.
like I said, I'm going to try to befriend the guy anyway.

[Nia !!9ULuJn9/+HD No.7075486]

>>7074735
because I'm an incompetent idiot I forgot to post the greentext for cosplayers at the top of the thread

>how does your depression affect your cosplay?

>why are you depressed?

>are you low in confidence? why?

>what would make you happy?

>what are your dreams? (however impossible they may be)

>how are you feeling today?

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7075512]

So here is what the list of someone with clinical depression looks like.

>does it have anything to do with Lolita/Jfashion, if yes, how so?
No. Who the Hell gets depressed over Lolita?

>if its unrelated to Jfashion, what's keeping you down?
It's a mental imbalance. Lack of serotonin?

>does your depression affect your style in any way?
No. Well. I like to wear bright colours in a vain effort to cheer myself up (also relates to hair colour).

>do you wear Jfashion less because of it? how often do you wear it now?
Can safely say it's made no difference. Though heavy anxiety does make it hard for me to leave the house and walk around in weird clothes in public.

>what do you want, or what could make you happy?
Not wishing I was dead all the time.

>list your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be
I wish that I wasn't depressed.

If you guys have actual dreams, you're probably not doing as badly as you think you are.

>how are you feeling today?
Trying to not think about the wishing I was dead part.

Not meaning to trivialise anyone's down days. But just be happy that this is not where you are at (since I searched this thread and only *one* person even mentioned suicidal thoughts). I have actually been worse than I am now (I wouldn't leave my bed for weeks a few years ago).

And by that token don't let it get that bad either. If you are feeling kind of down, don't let it spiral or /it will/ and then you are stuck forever trying to claw your way out. Recognise it, find yourself someone to talk to. I personally recommend meds. Eat better, exercise more, get out of the house more. As tempting as it is, refuse to wallow in it. Do your fucking best to do things to stop yourself thinking about it. When I was at my absolute worst and bed-ridden, books were my saviour.

Mostly I am just posting this so that I hope I try and take some of my own advice.

[Anonymous No.7075521]

>>7075512
> just be happy that this is not where you are at
Seriously I really hate it when people say this. According to that line of thinking I now have the right to tell you that it sounds like you're having have a hard time but at least you should be happy you're not bipolar.
Sucks to hear something like that, right? I know you meant well but this is really not the way to go.

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7075530]

>>7075521
>Not meaning to trivialise anyone's down days
Did you not read that part.. or what?

And Bi-Polar is not necessarily 'worse' than Clinical Depression, it's just different as it has periods of mania. I have a family member and friend with it, so. Their depression periods are similar to mine, just they can be a bit neurotic and suddenly start new projects and then not sleep for 20 hours. Which coming from someone with chronic fatigue doesn't sound so bad. /shrug

You might have been better off saying Cancer or something. Though the hilarious part about that is, most severely depressed people would welcome it.

So no, not really.

[Anonymous No.7075546]

>>7075530
I read it but I don't really understand the purpose of that line since trivialising is exactly what you're doing. Depression isn't chronic and mania fucking sucks. So yeah, nice try.

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7075548]

>>7075512
>>7075521

Hey, please no 'I am worse off' discussion. I think it is understandeable, if you are suffering from clinical depression that some of the mentioned 'symptoms' seem trivial compared to your own suicidal thoughts.
Yet, noone here knows how much the other is willing to disclose about their state and one should regard that an MDD can come in all strengths and subtypes.
And ai-honey mentioned already how it is important not to let depression become as grave.

I think it is really hard to compare personal suffering and therefore the criticism to said quote is right as well but it is natural that from a state of severe depression, day-to-day troubles of other people might seem like mockery.

Yet I might add, that suicidal thoughts stem from the cognitive component of depression. I have been diagnosed with depression as well, when I actually had my burnout last year, yet suicidal thoughts were the complete opposite of what I was experiencing. I was more scared of simply dying of exhaustion because I could neither sleep nor eat (for weeks) and left on the stove cause I couldnt think straight. It was really weird...

[Anonymous No.7075564]

>>7075530

[Anonymous No.7075567]

>>7075548
>I think it is really hard to compare personal suffering
This is exactly the point I was trying to make in the first place. I don't know if it's just me but I have been severely depressed as well and have never thought of others' problems as trivial. To me it seems an unfair and disrespectful way of thinking.

[Anonymous No.7075575]

>>7075512
>Who the Hell gets depressed over Lolita?
I'm sorry, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but yeah some people do get depressed over lolita. It might not be the main cause of their depression, but even people with clinical depression can get depressed over.

>If you guys have actual dreams, you're probably not doing as badly as you think you are.
Again, someone with even clinical depression can still have dreams. I've known people who have dreams that cause their depression, i.e. they feel that they will never achieve it and that makes them feel worthless.

>just be happy that this is not where you are at
There are probably a lot more people who are having suicidal thoughts in this thread, they just don't want to say it out loud, even on an anonymous forum. Because sometimes even just writing it makes it more real, and you just can't cope with the thought of it being real.

I'm sorry, I just wanted to say that everyone is different, and even when you are diagnosed with clinical depression, you can be so different to someone else with clinical depression. The way you word your post really does make it seem like you're saying "I'm more depressed then you guys! Look at me!" but I'm thinking it's just the blunt way that you put things. Just because your depression is that way, doesn't mean that everyone else's is nothing.

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7075586]

>>7075546
Oh depression can't be chronic? Are you retarded or what?

Not only can depression be chronic but you can also have a major episode on top of that which has been my last seven years fuck you very much.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_depression

>>7075548
I never said anywhere "I am worse off", the sentence was clearly structured as a warning (not remotely as a 'woe as me' I have no fucking pity left to give myself). It's obvious that a lot of people here are suffering from low mood and that can spiral into depression if you're not on top of it. If it wasn't painfully obvious I was trying to say something to stop anyone else ending up having to deal with this bullshit, as futile as it may sound.

If anyone one is seeing 'woe is me' in there you are inferring your own pity.

And as I said originally, BPD is not necessarily worse it is just 'different'. I know what a bad manic episode is, but the medication for mania is a lot more effective IMO than any for the Depression periods (and that goes for me AND those with Bi-Polar). Yes some people suffer worse from BPD than others, but by the same token some suffer worse from Depression than others. My friend is less severe than my Dad's partner, I also know what severe BPD is first hand.

[Anonymous No.7075591]

>>7075586
You were talking about depression. Dysthymia is something different thank you very much.

[Anonymous No.7075592]

>>7075586
"I'm just saying I have it worse than everyone please pity me"

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7075598]

>>7075591
It literally says 'Chronic Depression' in the title.

There are different kinds of depression but they ARE still depression.

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7075596]

>>7075586

I just wanted to say that you clearly meant no disrespect towards other peoples issues but that it might come across like that and that we should not have this discussion but it seems language barrier must have gotten the better of me. I never meant to misinterpret what you said in the first place, I just wanted for both parties to understand where each other is coming from but okay... I'm out.

[Anonymous No.7075610]

>>7075512
>Who the Hell gets depressed over Lolita?
some people can't fit into lolita
whether it be height, weight, or otherwise
It may not be the source of your depression but it does contribute.

>people get upset over things I can't understand so I'm going to be a dick about it

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7075613]

>>7075610
Suffering some low mood over Lolita I understand. But low mood is not fixed.

Real depression though? I think people are using the word too interchangeably, that's all. I highly doubt anyone has genuinely gotten clinical depression because they couldn't fit into a burando dress. Likely you had problems (self esteem, anxiety, whatever) that were the actual cause to the low mood first.

[Anonymous No.7075614]

>>7075598
>Chronic Depression
Wait, where? Because all I see is you mentioning clinical depression several times. Clinical depression is another way of saying major depression and major depression is definitely not the same as dysthymia.

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7075619]

>>7075614
I know.. I said you can have chronic depression (dysthymia) AND have major episodes /on top of that/. So yes, Depression can be chronic (which was the point being made).

[Anonymous No.7075620]

>>7075598
>>7075530
>>7075512
>>7075586
>>7075613
its time to stop posting.

[Anonymous No.7075624]

>ITT: the ai_honey show

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7075627]

>>7075620
When have I ever listened? Come on you know me better than that.

Though I will probably pass out soon anyway.

If nothing else, if any of you ever get super bad that you are bed ridden, just remember the book part. Happy/humour books, especially.

[Anonymous No.7075632]

>>7075619
You're not even reading what I'm saying. I'm done with this shit, have fun passing out.

[Anonymous No.7077500]

ai-honey is gone
lets continue

feel free to post again if you already posted, your feelings vary day by day

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7077505]

>>7077500
I am never gone.

But yes you should do that anyway.

[Anonymous No.7077510]

>>7077505
I nearly shat my pants
jesus christ ai-honey you are always lurking in the shadows

[Anonymous No.7077515]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. My parents hated him and we decided it just wouldn't be a great future together even though we get along really well. It was his birthday recently and I posted him something, and he replied on the lines of "Thank you, but we really can't be talking anymore."

I was saving up some money to go see him when he finally comes to the UK in November, but I guess that's not happening now and I want to spend it on lolita. However, I keep feeling guilty about it and I keep thinking about what my parents tell me (that if he really cared about me he would be paying my education instead of my parents/me). A lot of what my parents focussed on was fiscal shit (like my boyfriend should be footing my school bill instead of them if he really loved me, even though he himself hasn't graduated yet) which I didn't tell my boyfriend, and I wonder if I told him it'd turn out differently.

TL;DR: I want to buy lolita but my guilt over my boyfriend is kind of getting in the way and making a mess.

I guess I really shouldn't foster hopes of a surprise visit huh? And just go drown my sorrows or something.

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7077516]

>>7077510
hah, It is nearly always coincidental.. but due to deactivating facebook and twitter for a while I am limited on my usual lurking areas.

Anyone have any good books to recommend that they've read lately?

[ai-honey !eEQ3LJoZmM No.7077525]

>>7077515
>like my boyfriend should be footing my school bill instead of them if he really loved me

What the. Your parents sound bonkers? And you live in the UK where you can get some of the best school loans..?

And if he's not coming anymore, screw it and buy rori. Most rori has a good resale rate so if you need that money back you can list it on the comms (assuming you buy well).

[Anonymous No.7077532]

>>7077515
Your parents expected your boyfriend to pay for your schooling? I've never heard that a boyfriend or girlfriend is obligated to pay for their other's schooling. Maybe a husband, but a boyfriend? That's strange, I'm not sure where your parents got that idea..

I don't know what to say, other than maybe try talking to him if you'd really like to see him. Otherwise, don't feel bad about spending your money on what you want.

[Anonymous No.7078495]

How do you deal with being ugly? I've been struggling with social anxiety for so long, but it's really hard to overcome when people (men and women alike) openly and unashamed treat you like shit for being ugly. I don't even want to be popular or showered in attention, I just want the same courtesy and politeness that all other people get.

[Anonymous No.7078500]

>>7072938
>implying you have worse depression and are crazier than Miyu was

If she can live without meds then you have no excuse

[None !Ziz8ps0aw6 No.7078509]

>>7072938
>You DO know that there is a difference between a reactive depression caused by a terrifying experience and a longterm depression with a neurotransmitter dysfunction? Maybe it works like that for you and that is really great and everyone is happy for you that it works this way but if someone has been taking antidepressants since middleschool and you do not know the cause of their depression please stop giving them bad advice!
Yes. I'm aware of that. The "terrifying experience" was what convinced me to stop taking the medications. I was diagnosed bipolar and put on psychotropics when I was 14. I'm currently 29.

>If you have been taking psychotropics over years, a complete and sudden withdrawal is absolutely not healthy and the dose and type of medication matter a lot so you can not simply hand out your personal experience as the number one recipe, especially not if it worked for a reactive depression with a relatively short period of medication.
I have never advised anyone to stop taking their SSRIs cold turkey. I mentioned that it took me a few weeks to be safely weaned off of mine. It was an extremely unpleasant experience mentally and physically, but well worth it.

>Withdrawal is possible and proper nutrition and regular exercise help a lot, yet a proper withdrawal should ALWAYS be advised by a specialist and go by slowly lowering the dose when the cognitive component of the depression has been resolved through therapy and if the time is right (SAD should be ruled out by starting a withdrawal in spring).
I really think you need to re-read my original post.

>I know you only want to help but you are advising from the position of a personal experience, rather than any professional knowledge and in this case it can really go wrong, you know?
Both my psychiatrist and my general practitioner have told me that daily exercise, proper nutrition, and cognitive behavioral therapy can be much more effective than pills for many people with chemical imbalances.

[Anonymous No.7078619]

>>7078495
I make depressing text art sometimes.
but I do what I want anyway.
because it makes me happy.
but my main question is.
what does your post have to do with lolita or cosplay?
can we get back on topic?

[Anonymous No.7078687]

>>7078619
Not OP, but both lolita and cosplay have to do with physical appearance. I can see how insecurities can be relevant to either. Honestly, if you see someone in very pretty clothes or a great cosplay, but their looks aren't up to snuff, people are going to comment on it. And with low self esteem, maybe OP doesn't have the courage to do lolita or cosplay because it would draw attention, and they feel like it will all be negative about their appearance.

>>7078495
Someone's always going to be an ass about the way you look, even if you're gorgeous by most standards, that's just the way some people are. Also, what one person thinks is 'ugly,' another person might disagree. Just be confident, anon. If someone has the nerve to be openly rude to your face, as long as you don't let it get to you, the only thing they're doing is making themselves look like a douchebag.

[Anonymous No.7078737]

>>7077515
... why do you have school fees? Are you repeating college or something?

[Anonymous No.7078748]

>>7078737
Higher education costs money in the UK. College can cost if you're over 18, and obviously University you have to pay for. I'm 24 and I have to pay college fees.

[Anonymous No.7078766]

>>7078687
ah, I meant that she should of said how it ties into her hobbies.

[Anonymous No.7078776]

>>7078748
Oh fair enough, I was assuming you were still school age. And HE only costs money if you're already rich, since if you're poor you get so much free money that realistically most of us are never going to pay back, and whether you do pay it back or not is basically inconsequential. Actually, even if you're rich, you still get a part maintenance loan and a full tuition fee loan. Anyway, point is, your parents' demands are a bit ridiculous. Have you looked into Advanced Learning Loans? Or is it more they have a problem with the principle of him not paying rather than they can't afford it?

[Anonymous No.7078798]

>>7078776
>And HE only costs money if you're already rich
Not really. If you want to complete a second course at the same level you've achieved then it can cost money. For example, if you already have A Levels, but you want to take some extra A Levels a bit later, then it can cost you money. Or if you have taken A Levels and want to do a course that is considered the same level. I couldn't get funding for a level 3 diploma course because I have A Levels, and my family is pretty poor. I only work part time so I've saved up over a couple of years to afford my current course.

[Anonymous No.7078823]

>>7078798
Ah, you made it sound like it was your first time going. Yes, you do have to pay for FE the second time around. (I think I was also thrown because you bundled college and uni together under HE). Well, good for you for going back; many people never do it. What are you studying?

[Anonymous No.7078826]

>>7077525
>>7077532
>>7078737
>>7078776

I'm actually a foreign student from the US in the EU. Fees are teh expensive.

To start from the beginning, my bf and I were young and stupid and we committed some social faux pas. My parents flipped out, wrote him this longass e-mail where they basically insulted both him and his family, and things haven't really healed up since. They're still mad at him, and have chalked up the reasons from "he slept in the same bed as me" (yes, that was stupid of me to say that to them) to "he didn't answer our e-mail" (less reasonable, since they accused him of wanting multiple wives without a real basis other than he is from a Muslim country. Despite not being Muslim).

This summer i had to go back to sit for an exam in the US. Basically, my mom ended up looking through my e-mails (my fault again for not being cagey enough) and everything exploded into the whole conversation about paying loans. They threatened to stop my schooling until I refinanced my loans (which makes no sense considering I could do it at school) and get disowned from the family unless I broke up with my bf. Because I would like to continue school, I agreed.

It would have been easy to just tell my bf we should just continue but honestly I'm just really fucking sick of it all.

Looking back there are definitely things that I could have done to not make it into this mess, so I'm not trying to pin all the blame on my parents at all. It's just a horrible mess right now and I wish there was some way to fix it but there isn't, so I guess there just aren't things that are meant to be changed back to before in this life.

Feel free to call me underage, immature, etc. But the real issue here I guess is being kicked out which would devastate me, as fucked up as that sounds. I could easily go on with him for the next two years if I just was more careful, but afterwards? I don't know if it's a really viable path I'm willing to take.

This has fuckall to do with lolita, so sage

[Anonymous No.7078836]

>>7078826
Ohhh, you're an international student. Yeah, international students have to pay out the ass. £12k/year or something for uni I think.

Your parents sound a little crazy (without meaning to be rude), but I think you made the right decision. Hiding your relationship from them could lead to serious fallout if they ever found out. School is more important than relationships (imo), and after you get your qualifications you can get a good job, good pay, and you won't need your parent's help anymore, and you can date whoever the hell you want and they only have to put up with it at weddings and funerals.

You're in a shitty situation anon, and if spending some money on frilly dresses will help you feel better, fuckin' do it.