That's a great point.
I've also seen a huge increase of lolitas who simply don't want to be part of the community at all anymore. One reason is that if there's comm drama it spreads very quickly internationally through platforms like TikTok, it makes the idea of being part of a local comm less appealing. Another reason is that people got used to not going to meets during lockdown and they eventually realized they were getting all of their comm needs met online. There was less of a reason to spend time and money on socializing with other lolitas irl. You might not even like 80% of the lolitas who attend your local comm meets. And also who wants to go to a meet, have your picture taken, then other people from your comm post those pictures elsewhere and mock you? You're not safe even if you're not ita. You will be scrutinized anyway. That doesn't sound like fun to me. Of course I'm aware that if you post your own pictures online that still happens, but you're much more in control of how you appear. I'm not talking about filters/editing, but about lighting, angles, wardrobe choices that look great but aren't all that comfortable for meets, etc. You get to appear your best in your own pictures, not subject to weather conditions or someone else's crap photography skills. You can also block people online. Or apply a digital sticker to your face for added privacy.
You are much more in control of your experience online than you are irl at meets. If a loud rude person shows up at the meet you can't just swipe left.