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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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10735963 No.10735963 [Reply] [Original]

Have you ever thought of leaving lolita?

Do you ever get tired of the fashion or expect to get tired of it eventually? Or are you going to wear it until you die?

Does the fashion or community overwhelm you at times?

>> No.10736011

I used to want to leave but I don't see any point anymore. I'm 31, I look fine. People think I'm younger but not young (mid 20s usually). Maybe I'll change my mind someday but I think as long as I take care of myself it's fine

>> No.10736013
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Loli is love, loli is life.

>> No.10736017

Eh, I'm planning on getting a boob job in the future and will phase out of lolita and into aristo since I personally think tig bitties ruin the silhouette of lolita. Even if I don't get the bitties I plan on leaving lolita when I get around my early 40s depending on how old I look. Nothing against older lolitas I just would prefer to wear more mature looking styles when I'm older.

>> No.10736058

why planning? are you a poorfag? what dumbass wants a boob job after age 30? imagine getting memed into a boob job but waiting until your looks drop.

>> No.10736064

I'm only 24 and finishing school so yeah I'm planning because it's not a main priority right now and I don't just keep 10k at least laying around. Why do you even care? Plenty of women get boob jobs last 30. It's not like you immediately start looking decrepit after 29.

>> No.10736065

Nayrt but are you retarded? You don't need to be poor to not be at the best point of your life for a major surgery. And breasts sag with age, getting a boob job along with a lift when you're older, can afford to spend weeks recovering from said surgery and are financially stable makes sense

>> No.10736067

boobjobs are for insecure normies and pick mes.

>> No.10736069

Sorry you can't appreciate how fun big tiddies are. Cope. Seethe.

>> No.10736070

real tits are fun, but plastic is cheap trash

>> No.10736071

I left in 2016 and sold my entire wardrobe. In the beginning of 2021 I decided to get back into it... Missed it too much. I regret selling everything i had now. I have to start a the very bottom, and since I had been collecting since 2009, I know I'll never be able to get back a lot of the older or more coveted prints I once had.

>> No.10736073

you sound pretty insecure yourself judging on how triggered you are by the mere mention of a tit job
btw raging at people for wanting to modify their bodies simply because its plastic surgery is the most mainstream normie stance

>> No.10736074

I periodically get tired of it for 1-2 years and then wear it again. I've been doing this for 12 years so I'm not sure I can totally leave. I don't really think about leaving totally, even when I have an off phase I keep a few dresses around in case I want to wear one to a con or something.

>> No.10736078

Totally agree. I often find myself occasionally thinking that I'm just not that into lolita anymore and then a few months later my love for the style hits me like a mac truck and I get super into it again. I only ever really sell the pieces I never wore much to begin with since I don't like hoarding clothes.

>> No.10736081


>> No.10736083

almost, anon, almost. enjoy your bags of cheap plastic that you'll need to get repaired, like a car.

>> No.10736105

I've gone through phases where I would stop actively buying lolita or interacting with the community for several months to a year, I would think to myself 'oh I used to be into lolita' because I'm not currently fixated on it or the community but I always go back. Even when I am 'out of it' the way I dress is still lolita adjacent, maybe not full coords but wearing my brand pieces in simpler, non lolita looks the way people like Fanny Rosie do.

A lot of things in lolita tend to cross over with my personal style/what looks good on my body. I like to emphasise my waist and cover most of my chest and knees, I like lace, frills, florals, matchy colours, historical influences etc. I don't know if I'm gonna call myself a lolita forever but I don't think those preferences are ever going to change.

As of right now I don't see myself ever giving it up or selling my whole wardrobe. I wear toned down classic most of the time so I don't see why I would have to. Maybe I'd just go the way of all the older classic lolitas in Japan who are wearing all those really long IW dresses. The only thing I do see myself leaving for good is the community. I can already feel myself having less and less patience for it as time goes on.

>> No.10736113

Forgot to change it again, namefag? This isn't the first time

>> No.10736116

holy fuck stop being so new.

>> No.10736122

what about recognizing a soupposter repeatedly exposing themselves says "new" in your pea brain

>> No.10736126

I plan on wearing it til I die. Maybe not as frequently when I have kids, just for a bit. But I have loved the aesthetics of lolita for as long as I've known about it (and loved rococo fashion even longer) so I don't think that'll change. I think oldschool in particular looks good at any age

>> No.10736136

i have them and they're not fun.. especially not for lolita it's the worst
ega if that's what you're going into isn't very accommodating for them either..

>> No.10736144

what are you even on about? all you exposed is how much of a retard you are.

>> No.10736159

in a similar vein to >>10736105 i phase in and out of wearing actual lolita coordinates but still continue to wear my wardrobe and have never felt the compulsion to sell things en masse. fannyrosie, solarflight, and duplica are probably my biggest inspirations re: using my lolita wardrobe in lolita-adjacent styling.

i have no interest in the community at large outside of following a few folks on instagram and popping in and out of /cgl/. i've also gotten increasingly disinterested since hitting my 30's because the community skews younger

it baffles me that other people's interest in lolita seems to be like a lightswitch--it's either on or it's off, and when it goes off there's this bizarre pattern of purging your wardrobe and abandoning blogs and groups very abruptly. there also seems to be a trend in people who leave and come back, who regret selling their clothes or deleting their accounts. "leaving" doesn't have to be a big deal

>> No.10736175

>Have you ever thought of leaving lolita?
Not really. Even though others want me to leave. My wardrobe is pretty big with a lot coveted pieces. No way I'm going to sell it off to the rest of these bitches. I prefer to hoard my brand while you seethe about it kek. Even if I stopped wearing it. I wouldn't sell my wardrobe just to keep it out of circulation.

>Do you ever get tired of the fashion or expect to get tired of it eventually?
Not really. I love dressing up and coordinating pieces. It's fun to wear and also fun as a hobby.

>Or are you going to wear it until you die?
Probably. Though I may tone down the ott sweet as I get older.

>Does the fashion or community overwhelm you at times?
The community is insufferable overall. Ripe with annoying leftists, feminists, troons, sjws etc. There are a few good ones. I'm a lonelita overall. But I do appreciate my few good friends.

>> No.10736176

You seem like a delight.

>> No.10736180

Have you ever thought of leaving lolita?
I relate too much to the fashion on a nostalgic level to leave. As a one day comic creator, living the fashion also fuels my imagination. I’ve thought of leaving in favor of minimalism/practical reasons, but I tend to throw away those thoughts quickly. When I’m much older I hope to wear more mature and victorian silhouettes.

Do you ever get tired of the fashion or expect to get tired of it eventually? Or are you going to wear it until you die?
I wear mostly classic and aim to wear the fashion until I am no longer capable of doing so. I’ll probably lean more goth as I age, and will eventually sell my smaller collection of sweet prints. So until I die.

Does the fashion or community overwhelm you at times?
Yeah, the cattiness and elitism can be discouraging, not that I don’t have some of that myself but I try to keep kindness at the forefront. At the same time I’ve found some genuinely wonderful individuals, so being involved in the community has been a worthwhile social adventure.

>> No.10736182

Why do you want a boob job?

>> No.10736196

Ok Soupposter.

>> No.10736203

Mental illness the post kek

>> No.10736209

I dont think I will fully quit lolita but I do see myself phasing it out to wear more pink house and kaneko isao stuff

>> No.10736219

I want to have a baby within the next 5 years or so, so I think that will put me in a position of needing to put lolita on hold for a while. Like others in this thread, I go through periods of being really intensely into lolita, and then not touching it for a while. For me it'll just be a matter of timing that with pregnancy/early child rearing

>> No.10736221

Probably to please her moid or deal with the insecurities moids in general caused her to have for having small tits

>> No.10736222

I'm surprised to see other people like myself go through similar "phases" of wearing lolita, getting out of it, getting into it again.
I think it's fine - my bf has similar "phases" with his own interests where he cycles between video games, mtg, and other things. I have a lot of interests so some will always have to take a backseat.

>> No.10736237

Recovered from an eating disorder about a year ago and gained a ton of weight since then so I've kind of "left" it. Planning on seeing where my body stabilizes at to decide what to do. Not caring about clothes (lolita or normie) for the past year has been really freeing, if I do decide to get back into it I'll definitely take one or two year breaks like these once I start to feel tired.

>> No.10736240

I want a breast augment but that's only because I lost over 100 lbs of weight and they suffered the most unfortunately.

>> No.10736247 [DELETED] 

>Have you ever thought of leaving lolita?
A lot of times actually. I often find myself caring too much about what other people think and how I'm being perceived, I'm generally a sensitive person.

>Do you ever get tired of the fashion or expect to get tired of it eventually? Or are you going to wear it until you die?
I love the fashion and I enjoy wearing it right now, I don't really know what the future holds, especially as I still consider myself a beginner. This year will be my 6th year into lolita.

>Does the fashion or community overwhelm you at times?
Often times I feel like I can't quite relate to the community. It's hard to explain, but sometimes when I'm at a meet-up I feel like everyone's putting on a show and I'm just kind of in it although nobody ever asked me to be there. Everyone's obsessed with drama, taking pictures of themselves and each-other, pining for e-fame. I just want to wear the clothes because I think they look nice and I often feel like I'm the only one who feels this way (I know there's many who feel this way, this is just my particular situation with my comm).

>> No.10736273
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lolita has a very tight grip on me and while I might gradually let go of certain pieces overtime I don’t think I could fully give it up, even if I decide to have a family. I’ll be a lolita mom,aunt,grandma whatever the hell until I die.
The community is a confusing beast for sure. I’m happy there’s a place where the fashion can be discussed and seeing how Lolita’s wear different pieces. I love seeing girls look and feel pretty, express themselves, and talk about how much they love the fashion and getting excited for releases. But I also hate the awful attitudes, shopping habits, rampant mental illness and drama that plagues it. What is cool is that you don’t have to actively engage in the community if you don’t want to, you can just wear the clothes and be done with it.

>> No.10736277

Please get a lift done by a good surgeon instead, they'll look so much better and you won't have to risk getting cancer if you don't go under the knife every 5-10 years

>> No.10736282

the scars from lifts are gnarly though

>> No.10736283 [DELETED] 

Beats cancer, they will look fine if you get a good surgeon and take care of yourself post-op

>> No.10736284

I’m similar to >>10736011.
I’m in my early 30’s, I look fine and I don’t think I’ll ever leave at this point. Like many others here I go through phases of being really into it and not, but I don’t think I’ll let go of it completely. I did once in my early 20’s which lasted a couple years until I was pulled back in. There’s just something about it that brings me back.

My casual style is primarily jfashion too for several years now anyway. I’m a petite person and Japanese clothes just fit my body better than western clothing ever did. The Japanese free size -is- my size so it’s easy and comfortable. I tend to dress more otome/vintage leaning and it’s easy to wear this style without looking to young. My go-to lazy look is a dress + cardigan. Normies tend to think I just buy my stuff in vintage shops anyway, and I’m known for being a bit of a quirky dresser in my circles. There’s some crossover between my two wardrobes, but I really just wear what I like and am comfortable in.

>> No.10736285

Beats cancer, they will look fine if you get a good surgeon and take care of yourself post-op. Plus, if her breasts have sagged, they won't do implants without a lift anyway.

>> No.10736331

I was thinking of getting an anchor lift. I said augment but I didn't mean getting fake ones put in I just couldn't think of the word atm

>> No.10736335

This is pretty much me. I definitely went into a roomwear slump when there were Covid restrictions but I still love wearing lolita and getting dressed up.

>> No.10736343

Never thought about leaving it. I am currently in a ‘break’ that I’m not as interested as I was and not constantly checking for brand updates. but I still attend meets. My current interest is otome and fairy kei into which I can carry over some of my lolita pieces, so it’s nice.
I still get excited if i see a good release but yes I’ll wear it until i die. I always struggled finding clothes that fit me and looked good on me. and then i realized japanese free size really is my size and everything is good.

>> No.10736345

I'm in the same camp as you two that I could never find clothing in the west that fits and flatters my body properly. Japanese free size is just perfect and I feel great about my body when I wear lolita. I will never go back to trying to find stuff in western stores.

>> No.10736352

No, but I think I'm gonna sell most of it before the euro and dollar inevitably crash.

>> No.10736353

>Japanese free size is just perfect
same here! especially once i had to buy in the women's section. western women's clothing just doesn't fit. even petites.

>> No.10736388

Western clothes is made for the cheapest possible business model. Even expensive brands use the bare minimum material in a rectangle cut. This is part of why even if I left I'd continue to wear casual jfash, the material is so much more flattering. Drape and such

>> No.10736397

I’m pretty much over it now and slowly selling my wardrobe. I’m just keeping a few treasured pieces, and some classic JSKs that are low maintenance and plain enough to wear to work. Mostly just lurk the price check and sales threads for research.

>> No.10736439

>Ripe with annoying leftists, feminists, troons, sjws etc.
don't blame you one bit for not wanting to sell nice things to such people

>> No.10736478

Yeah, I never get people who leave lolita because uwu the community is too toxic~
If you like the clothes still but not the community just be a lonelita lmao

>> No.10736481

I don't think I'll ever leave, I had taken a ten year break previously, but purchasing a petticoat again was like having an internal revelation. I'll never forsake the style again, it is my happiest self.

>> No.10736496

>btw raging at people for wanting to modify their bodies simply because its plastic surgery is the most mainstream normie stance
You're buying into a business that has spent years capitalizing on women's insecurities, but go ahead and call it "body mods" akin to piercings and tattoos lol.

>> No.10736504

Anon, plastic surgery is for normies. Especially something as mainstream as breast augmentation.

>> No.10736515

Im in my early 30s and in the process of leaving, I guess. Was wearing lolita for over 10 years but for a couple of years now I was already drawn towards more casual comfy stylings and my outfits became less and less lolita by the day. I am also trying for a baby, so life priorities change. And as I age my body also feels less comfortable in tight layering clothing and I want something more simple, but not necessarily minimalistic or ugly. I can imagine transition to other more mature Jfashion brands like Pink House or Jane Marple Dans le Salon and keeping some of my most treasured pieces which I think will fit into this new style, but 90% of my wardrobe will definitely be sold off.

>> No.10736544

Literally this. I'm close to 30 and I'm not that cute, but I like my comm and I look OK in classic. So why leave at this point? The only thing is that I'd like to downsize my wardrobe, but I'm a lazy bitch so it's not happening anytime soon.

>> No.10736548

>my body also feels less comfortable in tight layering clothing
Oh! I am so happy that someone else said this, because I keep thinking this when I put on my frills. I am the same size as I was when I was younger and actually quite a bit fitter. But damn, clothes just feel different now. I'm starting to understand Kuniko Kato's approach, got my first Physical Drop dress a while ago and I wear it a lot. Turns out her stuff isn't frumpy if you style it right. IW OPs are also nice though I sometimes have to move the arm button because I'm tallish and lift weights. I don't think I'll ever buy from Baby or AATP again, and probably not JetJ either. Sheglit is wonderful.

>> No.10736549

Lol, I've noticed that it's the younger lolitas who tend to be "shocked" at how young women in their late 20s or 30s look. They think everyone turns into a wrinkly prune after 25 or something.

>> No.10736552

this. i'm 30 and people are always surprised.

>> No.10736570

What happened? I don't remember feeling that way about folks in their 30's when I was young. The only difference to me was that they often had kids while the younger ones didn't

>> No.10736589

I think the kids thing definitely makes a difference, becoming a parent ages people faster (stress, lack of sleep, weight gain, etc), people now tend to have kids later so they still look pretty young in their late 20s-early 30s. The "40 is the new 30" meme is pretty accurate.

>> No.10736599

I've thought about giving up because sometimes i just feel really bad about my appearances. At this point selling all my pieces would break my heart so no way will i quit. One thing for sure is that I used to fantasize about having a massive lolita wardrobe and wearing lolita every opportunity i got, but i no longer feel this way. I am a chronic outfit repeater, i tend to have few pieces of clothing that I like and wear them to death. I would prefer to have a small overall wardrobe. I am now at a point where there is only one more dress i am interested in getting and I am pulling the plug on buying more pieces. I just want to invest more in going on vacations where i probably won't wear lolita and working as few hours as i can.

>> No.10736601

When I gained a bunch of weight a couple years ago and didn't fit any of my dresses I highly considered leaving because I was discouraged and didn't want to have to shop plus sized. I stuck it out, though, and wound up losing a lot of the weight and now I can fit back in my clothes. After my involvement in the fashion surviving that, I don't think I'll ever leave.

>> No.10736610

My mom had me at 35, still looked like she was in her 20s until she hit menopause at 54 when her skin became thinner and a bit more lax.
>inb4 your mom is just pretty
She's not all that pretty and never was. Her features are nothing special. Still even at 61 she doesn't look like the kind of hag people are scared of becoming overnight at 25. Don't tan, stay active, take care of your teeth, sleep as well as you can, hydrate, don't eat reheated garbage every day, do a little skincare but honestly most people don't need as much skincare as gets pushed today. That's all it really takes to not look like a hag. And if your genetics hate you, get a little botox, but not too early so you don't become immune to it.

>> No.10736611

Idk anon, what I meant is that I couldn't tell. The only difference I could see was that some people had pics on fb with their kids and others didn't, also the older ladies had better jobs and more money. Otherwise 25 and 35 looked the same to me. But I'm not Anglo and in my culture families help with kids a lot. A mom eating sad fries and nuggets with her kids every day because she can't cope and is so busy she can't even sleep at light would be seen as an embarrassment. If she didn't have a family she'd still be OK because her friends would help out, people don't see other people's kids as gross or embarrassing here and no one ditches a friend because she had kids. I'm my best friends' son's favorite auntie and he's not even related to me. I don't want kids of my own anytime soon but I just don't understand why other countries get so weird about them or think women with kids are gross or different.

>> No.10736683

Good luck anon. Eating disorders suck. If you decide to wear lolita again, please stay away from fatty sperging places like here.

>> No.10736756 [DELETED] 

I‘m too poor to justify buying it for myself. But if I get the money one day I might start buying again. I‘ll lurk though

>> No.10736757

I‘m too poor to justify continuing to buy it to myself. But if I get the money one day I might start buying again. I‘ll lurk though

>> No.10736764

It's partly reactionary and partly a lot of parents get really weird. A lot of moms here make being a mom their entire personality after they have the kids so there is really not much to do or say to them because they only care about kids and kids stuff, their whole personality changes. And then as a reaction to that and the expectation that women should have children, people become anti-parent. It sounds like people in your country are well adjusted so you don't have these issues. I have some friends with kids who don't have these problems but there are other people I can't relate to any more because they literally only care about what their kids are doing and nothing else.

>> No.10736794

I dunno if I'd call what I've been doing leaving so much as blending my favorite pieces with more mature brands and styling? Have been going through the process for a few years now, and it helps that I don't have to pop onto social media to "prove" that my style/wardrobe has a specific definition. 100% with you and >>10736548 regarding comfort though, just because I can wear it and it fits doesn't always mean that it's the most comfortable thing to wear.

>> No.10736801

My culture has its perks but I wouldn't say we're particularly well adjusted haha, we have some religious and political problems for many years. But on the family side at least, I have to say it is very nice. And wow, hopefully as they get older and their kids go to school your friends will remember who they were and the things they love. Having a little kid is stressful and busy, I understand, and especially if you have very few people helping, but at least once the kids are at prekinder I would hope parents will have the chance to relax.

>> No.10736874

I need to get me some physical drop, shit looks so comfy
I'm another person who can no longer tolerate tight clothes! I don't know if it's an age thing or just tired of suffering when it's unnecessary. I have only one sheglit op but it's very comfortable.

>> No.10736895

I did leave, because I felt there were unchangeable aspects of myself (my height, the width of my shoulders, my jaw shape.) that made me look ridiculous in lolita. I had this constant anxiety over people mistaking me for a dude in a dress because of my androgynous features. And I know some of that is because I'm weird and insecure about my sexuality but I don't wear it any more. I just admire from afar and try to sell off my remaining pieces.

>> No.10737008

>mfw had that happen on cgl once in a CoF thread
I didn't even know how to react so I just kept truckin and bitched about it to my friends for a couple of days. Now I find it funny and a little sad.

>> No.10737029

I’m probably not leaving lolita entirely, but I’ve been thinking about significantly downsizing my lolita wardrobe. Lolita aligned a lot with my whole personal style for the majority of my life so far. But these days I find that changing. As I get older I find I want my surroundings and clothes to be less busy, less cluttered, more simple. I’m no longer convinced that the large lolita wardrobe I have now is more satisfying than a much smaller but more curated lolita wardrobe would be.

Anyway, this is just ideas floating around in my head. I’m hoping to do a big sell off when I next take time off work.

>> No.10737048

Every day

>> No.10738044

I don't understand why you would want to continue wearing J-fashion if you want to get a boob job. Like >>10736136 EGA is not accommodating for big boobs. I don't even think my boobs are that big and I have some issues with J-fashion chest sizing.

>> No.10738066

it's a troll.

>> No.10738133

I don't think I will ever leave the fashion. I don't want kids, maybe I'll change my mind when I'm in my 35-40 but at the moment I don't, so I probably have time and money to spend on lolita for a couple of years more. Lolita fashion is my main and almost only hobby, I have no reason to leave. Plus I'm already wearing it a "mature" way. Had fun wearing sweet and ott in my early twenties but now I'm enjoying more classic and adult silhouettes, even if I still look younger than I am

>> No.10738148

What's funny is that people used to act like 30 was the hard stop or at least where they'd reevaluate but now that a lot of lolitas are getting older it's shifted to 35-40. I wonder if in ten years anons will be like "I think 50 might be too old but I'm not sure, and i'm still enjoying this fashion so we'll see"

>> No.10738161

Nta but as a lolita in my 20s I'm really happy to see that lots of lolitas aren't giving up the fashion at some arbitrary age. I keep hearing the same story from 30 something lolitas that a lot of them in their mid-late 20s felt pressured to leave or at least stop wearing sweet and sell their dresses only to regret it later on. I'm glad my generation of lolitas won't have to make that same mistake because we can see the generation before us is still enjoying it and wearing it in their 30s and hopefully 40s. It's nice to have that example to look up to instead of thinking that we have to give it up at a certain age because barely anyone has done it before. Older lolitas, I am grateful to you all for not giving up what you enjoy. Please keep wearing the fashion for as long as you still love it.

>> No.10738171
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You're too sweet nonnie. Though I dunno if I'll stick with lolita forever, I sure plan to wear it for a lot longer.

>> No.10738209

Personally I'm 33 and not giving up anytime soon. In retrospect, the Christmas cake/stop at 30 meme was really stupid and had more to do with the age of the community at the time. There weren't as many older role models then just because it mainly attracted younger women, but now there are more older role models as people age with it. Thank you for the sweet message anon, I hope you keep wearing it for as long as you love it too.

>> No.10738213

I feel like at early 30s now (my current age) I'm able to enjoy it more...I'm not as hard pressed for clout, I can enjoy more meets (don't have to worry about a curfew or getting a ride etc) and I have way more money than I did 10+ years ago when I was just getting into the fashion. Sure I can't wear it every single day because I have a career that requires me to look a certain way and I'm invested in that, but I appreciate being able to 'let loose' on the weekends.

I find when I'm out in lolita it's middle aged and older women who compliment me the most; they say they love my look & that they wish they could dress like I do. When I say "you can if you want" it is like some of lighbulb goes off in their head that they can dress up for fun too for no reason.

Life is too short to dress boring.

>> No.10738220

Kek. I wasn't trolling even a little bit.

Aristo is a lot more accommodating than lolita. It's not nearly as uniform.

>> No.10738227

Oh yeah, the extra money thing is amazing. My 20 something self would have been mind blown.

>> No.10738241

>admitting to being a brainless chestlet
enjoy your cancer.

>> No.10738248

I wore sweet and what's now called old school back in the early-mid 2010s, but stopped wearing it when I got to college because I was broke, had moved to the tropics, and started to feel self-conscious in my clothes. Covid hit pretty soon after I graduated, so I didn't go outside enough to worry about cute clothes.
Now that I have a job and the opportunity to leave my apartment more often, I've started to get back into lolita though and I don't think I'll get rid of my favorite pieces for a long time. I wear dark classic now, so it's pretty easy to mix and match some of my pieces with my normie wardrobe, so even if I don't wear lolita, I'll still follow some of my favorite brands.

I also agree with these anons. It's easier to find Japanese clothing that suits my taste and body than western clothing (and what western clothes I do find that I like tends to be pretty expensive).

Where do you live?

>> No.10738518

Cope. Seethe.

>> No.10738611

I'm pretty sure that only happened because a lot of the initial adopters and the online comms were kids in their teens and early 20s who couldn't fathom that we don't just all turn into hags at 30. There was also that horrible 2000s culture of somehow getting your life together and settling down magically when you turn 30 but only for women - magazines used to publish shit like 'things you should get rid of by 30' 'things to do in your 20s' etc. Basically they implied you could only travel, have fun, and enjoy 'childish' things in your 20s as there wasn't really any amount of kawaii culture or an acceptance of being cute and feminine at the time - we all had to grow up and be 'sexy' and 'vampy', get rid of our soft toys, and dress to suit our body type in the worst Trinny and Susannah What Not to Wear kinda deal.

>> No.10738613

>Trinny and Susannah
So glad we're past the "daytime tweed and evening chiffon" stage of fashion.

>> No.10738683


I'm glad aggressive girliness well into adulthood is on the rise. The whole gotta dress subtly for the male gaze but not too much was pretty stressful.

>> No.10738932

I have seriously been considering leaving since covid started but couldn't get myself to part with my wardrobe just yet. I'm currently in recovery for an eating disorder and while lolita has helped me coped in the past/pre-recovery, seeing other lolitas now is triggering to me. When I see skinny lolitas I wish I looked like them, when I see fat lolitas I get horribly afraid to become like them. I'm skinny but lolita makes me feel like I'm still fat, too bad I like the pretty dresses.

>> No.10739005
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>I felt there were unchangeable aspects of myself (my height, the width of my shoulders, my jaw shape.) that made me look ridiculous in lolita
Exactly what I'm feeling right now. I love the fashion's aesthetic a lot, but finding the right pieces, even simple ones, is quite hard for me. And oftentimes I just feel like it looks silly on me. Maybe it's just not meant to be and I should just appreciate it from afar instead of plaguing my mind with these thoughts.....

>> No.10739120

I'm in a weird position where I have a wardrobe full of lolita, but I don't feel comfortable wearing it out of the house or even inside for long, I just take photos and put it all away again. I feel like I like the idea of the clothes more than wearing them nowadays. But I feel too attached to sell everything. Anyone else had a similar experience?

>> No.10739128

same here. i'm basically just a collector of lolita rather than an actual lolita. idk why i bother

>> No.10739245

Yes, all covidlitas have the same experience. They take photos in their house then put the clothes back on the rack. They're the new conlitas.

>> No.10739360

Is there anything wrong with that though? If they buy the dresses it's their business when they wear them or if they wear them...

>> No.10739375

Because it's hilariously pathetic? You don't have to be hurting anyone to be a laughingstock

>> No.10739386

What's pathetic about wearing nice clothes in your house

>> No.10739390

Are you the police of where people should wear their clothes lol

>> No.10739403

got new job, got fat and busy, hard to wear lolita. i sold off a few pieces but i started exercising again and put most of my dresses in storage. hopefully this will pass

>> No.10739413

same, I wish I would wear lolita out in public more but I just don't have the guts to deal with rude strangers anymore

>> No.10739418

Right now I'm sort of feeling like lolita is too much work compared to other fashions so I haven't been dressing in lolita lately. I suspect once I get more energy again though I'll go back to lolita. This happens every once in a while when I get sucked into another hobby. But I've never felt like leaving lolita. Just breaks here and there.

>> No.10739419


Calm down, we're all kind of pathetic anyways for buying overpriced anime dresses lol.

>> No.10739432

Dropping hundreds/thousands on clothes and then being too much of a pussy to actually wear it outdoors is hilariously pathetic.

They can do what they want and I can still laugh at them, it's not that complicated. Just like itas!

Uh, I am calm? It's just funny being that scared of normies.

>> No.10739440

you sound like a redditor

>> No.10739446

a redditor would probably coddle wimpy faggots like that

>> No.10739449

redditors also chimp out like idiots.

>> No.10739452

the only people seething are the defensive WKs kek

>> No.10739458

sis you're the only one who's mad here.

I'm gonna enjoy wearing my rare AP just to lay around my room even more now ;)

>> No.10739459

people laughing at you aren't "mad" anon. relax

>> No.10739460

twitterfag detected

>> No.10739558

How do you know if you really want to leave or if its just a phase?

>> No.10739569

Sell a few pieces you were on the fence of selling already anyway, put the rest away neatly out of sight and reach. See if you miss it during the next few months. If not, sell another few pieces. Rinse and reepat. If you miss it, enjoy wearing the fashion again.

>> No.10739591

opposite advice--put your stuff away to see if you miss it BEFORE you sell. read too many regret stories to suggest that as a first line of action.

something else to try depending on the rest of your wardrobe is to stop wearing full coordinates but experiment with your pieces in other outfits. unless you mostly own sweet prints with minimal versatility, a lot of things can be worn differently and you might not end up wanting to sell much if anything after all.

>> No.10739597

You know they are right though, it's basically larping as a lolita, which is kind of sad and pathetic. Just wear what you want with pride.

>> No.10739621

I sorta get both points of view. On one hand, how people wear their clothes is no one's business but their own. And I kinda get feeling uncomfortable at first if you're new. Personally for me meets have been few and far between and I always feel a bit more confident in a group or at a nice venue than I do solo in a mundane setting. I can understand if new-ish lolitas feel unsure or shy.

On the other hand it is a little sad to have so many nice things that don't get proper use. It just feels like a waste. Over pandemic times I've developed bargain hunting as a hobby (didn't use to to use auctions or mercari much before) so now I have more cheap, versatile brand than ever ($30-80 skirts and dresses, maybe 10 or 12 new pieces over the last 2 years). a lot of it is low key or non print and super wearable, so I've just started wearing it out instead of normie clothes. going to walmart for milk? Just gonna take 5 mins to put on this jsk and a cardi, whatevs, Feeling pretty good about it.

>> No.10739645

It's a kind of ignorant attitude to assume that everyone is confident to wear lolita out and about, or lives in a safe place to do so, or has friends to share it with, or has a wardrobe that can be toned down enough to wear on an everyday level.

>> No.10739646

This is good advice; if you really want to wear something, you will wear it. If you never reach for it, there's probably a good reason.

>> No.10739647

It's interesting to see how angry lolitas get about other lolitas and how they wear the brand they own. it's like they feel collectively entitled to other peoples dresses lmao.

>> No.10739652

Just say you arent actually into wearing lolita and go.

>> No.10739653

git gud.

>> No.10739654

If anything they should like the covidlitas. When they sell their stuff those dresses are gonna be pristine.

>> No.10739656
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Stop projecting. No one is "angry". They're just laughing at you

>> No.10739657

Lmao absolute twitterfag. Everything about this screams LARPer

>> No.10739678

I've thought about it. I'm honestly still torn- I think social media has ruined fashion for me sadly, always worrying more about what other people want to see than what I actually feel good in.

>> No.10739691

>Have you ever thought of leaving lolita?

>Do you ever get tired of the fashion or expect to get tired of it eventually? Or are you going to wear it until you die?
definitely wearing it until I have dropped dead

>Does the fashion or community overwhelm you at times?
the fashion, no. the community, yes. the people who wear this fashion are sweet on the outside and absolutely vile on the inside. I know I am too, but damn same of us gulls are fucking horrible. the thought of being posted and torn apart for no good reason certainly makes me think twice before posting any kind of lolita content. I love this fashion but I am so tired of the terrible attititude we all have towards each other when things are anonymous. I love that we can have actual concrit and stuff because of the anonymity but damn do we really need to post obvious newbs to the ita thread and tear people down for not wearing makeup, for repeating accessories, for being ugly, just for the most pointless and stupid shit? Can we not do concrit without being assholes? And can people please learn to actually take critisisms when they are sincere and not rude, please? Fucking hell. Everyone, including me, needs to chill the fuck out god damn

>> No.10739800
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>tfw no cute lolita girlfriend
I live in a highly conservative area of my country. I've only seen one girl IRL wearing this fashion. She was at an arcade about an hour away from my house. I saw her while visiting arcade with the family. My Grandmother pointed her out and asked me if she was wearing cosplay. I am retard and didn't realize this was perfect chance to approach qt3.14 in all white gothic lolita dress. Realized what an idiot I was about 2 months later.

If you're out there qt3.14 I'm sorry I didn't play Project Justice with you. My faggot father kept bothering me to play pin-ball then forced us all the leave because he got butthurt that people were actually having a good time.

>> No.10739801

Social media has ruined all hobbies. Every last thing I enjoyed has been ruined in the last 10 years. I can't even enjoy obscure shit with high barrier to entry anymore.

>cute people are evil on inside
I've noticed this as well. They take being cute for granted. Lots of people that would enjoy this type of shit can't even do it because nothing is made to fit them or they would be shamed for doing it.

I would give no fucks if my waifu wore this stuff everywhere. Mainly because it gets my dick rock hard. I enjoy all older women's fashion. I wish normalfags would stop dressing like whores and showing so much skin. I like a woman in 5+ layers of cuteness.

Sadly, I will remain forever alone because I settled down in middle of nowhere like an idiot and now I don't have the money to escape. I lived in large cities for years and I never saw any girls wearing this kind of fashion. I am amazed I saw that one where I did. It was so out of place I'm sure most of the people at the mall thought she was being paid to wear it. I don't like to bother strangers in public so I typically don't approach anyone into the same things as I am. Any time I try they usually ignore me or leave. I can't even get anyone to play Street Fighter and Blazblue with me at the arcade. They're so afraid of losing they leave the machine as soon as you press start. I don't understand why they even play if all they want to do is throw fireballs at CPU.

I think that's why social media ruined hobbies. Everyone wants to be part of these old nerd hobbies but no one wants to put in work to git gud. They claim you're gatekeeping if you try to give them tips or guidance.

You people should just wear whatever you want everyday with no fucks given. If fags can parade naked down the street then you people should be able to parade cute down the street. I certainly wouldn't mind and would see it as an improvement. Just remember. The cuteness fades. Don't bully the homely girls.

>> No.10739805

>I just don't have the guts to deal with rude strangers anymore
Try to remember for every 1 rude asshole that makes fun of you at least 20 decent people passed you by that didn't want to bother you. I hear women complaining all of the time about
>Where did all the good men go?
They're all around keeping to themselves. I keep my head down in public now. I am constantly on alert of being attacked since I'm a man. I don't bother women because they can have me locked up within 15 minutes just by lying about what I said. I don't bother decent people because I assume they're busy and I don't want to keep them from their bullshit. I don't speak to many people because I have been subject to decades of dumb ass faggots and their drama.

I sympathize with you because your choice of dress causes you to draw attention to yourself. Here is the thing though. If you did it everyday and got your friends to do it too it would become normalized within 3 months. You would blend into the background like every other shocking fashion that came along. There was a time not long ago where yogo pants would have drawn the attention of everyone in the area. Now it's so normal to see the whore uniform that no one even cares.

I really want to see a return to old school women's fashion. My entire life women and girls have just wore less and less every year. I am to the point where I don't even get excited by it anymore. I just see it as lazy and vain. Same way I feel about tattoos.

You should get cute gun to carry while wearing your cute dresses. Take some self defense and firearms training. You'll feel more confident in public. I train lots of women in this stuff every year. They all tell me they become less anxious about being in public after about a week or carrying a firearm and applying the techniques I teach. Which mainly boil down to paying attention to what's around you and the attitude of the people around you.

>> No.10739820

Get the fuck out of here, you self-obsessed creep. No one cares about your cringe opinions jst because you're a man.

>> No.10739824

This is why you're alone

>> No.10739828

Being alone is only a bad thing for men stop projecting.

>> No.10739830

>it's ignorant to tell me to wear the clothes in order to be part of the fashion

>> No.10739832

>waaaah waaah I'm too much of a pussy to wear alt fashion, check your privilege!!
We should've gatekeeped lolita more.

>> No.10739846

I'm getting married in a few months but whatever allows you to sleep at night lol

>> No.10739848

you need a safe space to wear an alt fashion? fuck off

>> No.10739850

>I love this fashion but I am so tired of the terrible attititude we all have towards each other when things are anonymous.
B-but if I go outside in mismatched pinks, lolitas will corner me and beat me with their frilly parasols!!!?1

But seriously, if people did their archive reps, they'd realize most of the "advice" given in the ita threads are made by gulls just as unfashionable. The board has historically been weebs trying to learn the basics of fashion alongside lolita. But the best way to learn the fashion has always been to read GLBs and analyze social media coords you like. There are some real shit coords made by people who have obviously never dressed themselves, but it has 0 effect on you or me.

Doesn't help that Tyler and Lor keep bringing us up and won't let the board die

>> No.10739854

I don't think they meant "safe space" as in a place where feelings are coddled, but literally, they do not live in a safe area and making yourself stand out attracts unwanted attention and puts you in danger. Or people are super conservative and will harass you. that kinda thing

it need not be super dramatic like "I live in the projects and people are gonna shoot me." I recall a gull who lived in a smaller town in Britain saying something along the lines of teenagers always throwing shit at her, that alone would be enough to be discouraging cuz I personally wouldn't want my brand ruined

>> No.10739859

We know, retard. Even for the meekest, cars exist and you can bring your clothes to change into. This is nothing new and something only an absolute LARPer wouldn't know

>> No.10739977

Not everyone owns a car, anon. Especially outside the USA. Using public transport in lolita, no thanks.

It must be really hard to accept that some people just aren't in the same position as you, but its true.

>> No.10739980

are you stupid? did you even read the part that said
>and you can bring your clothes to change into
you can carry it on public transport. stop being a whiny pussy

>> No.10739996

>they do not live in a safe area and making yourself stand out attracts unwanted attention and puts you in danger. Or people are super conservative and will harass you. that kinda thing
Holy shit assert yourself. I had to walk through nigger infested gang land to work shit job for 4 years. People didn't fuck with me because they knew I wasn't soft target. All you have to do is stand tall and not walk into ambush like a retard.

I refuse to believe people at the mall are throwing shit at you just because you're wearing some frilly dress. I'm sure they may point and laugh. But no one is assaulting someone just because they're dressed like this. You're just making excuses for not doing it in public. You're just worried about being outside the social norm.

Which is fine. Wear boring shit, blend in, and never be anybody. If you stay in the background no one will remember you existed. No one cares if you do this. Just don't blame society for being a pussy.

>> No.10740002

good thing you live in the middle of nowhere

>> No.10740305

I promise you're still nobody even in your burando anon lmfao

>> No.10740306

> doesn't wear lolita 24/7

> "WEar YOuR BoRInG CloThEs ThEN!!!"

>> No.10740350

You're not as intimidating as you think you are, you are just lucky they probably didn't find you sexually appealing.

>> No.10740364
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>> No.10740383

Glad you're confident and comfortable, but it doesn't work that way for everyone

>> No.10740386

>I refuse to believe people at the mall are throwing shit at you just because you're wearing some frilly dress. I'm sure they may point and laugh. But no one is assaulting someone just because they're dressed like this. You're just making excuses for not doing it in public
it's not my job to try and convince you nonny. Regular people have had shit thrown at them for less, so it's not particularly hard for me to believe. I've personally never lived anywhere super conservative nor unsafe and I've never head problems, but I can take my head out of my own ass for long enough to understand that other people don't have my exact living situation, or life experience, or confidence. I think it's kinda sad to let brand languish at home, but I don't think it makes them larpers. hopefully over time they'll get confident enough to wear it out, but in the meantime, I don't give a shit where people do or don't wear the clothes they bought for themselves

>> No.10740387

Anons just wear a trenchcoat through the slums and take it off when you’ve made it to your cafe or whatever, learn some urban cloaking

>> No.10740401

Are you getting married to a man? Because that's cringe.

>> No.10740407

If it makes you feel better scroteanon she was probably a lesbian

>> No.10743546

conveniently ignores crazy cat ladies

>> No.10743609

You are still projecting. Men are the one who get but hurt about being alone, not women. femcels aren't taken seriously by other women anyways. Being a cat lady is a million times more based then having my life time shortened by some moid.

>> No.10743611

you're also projecting...

>> No.10743616

>Women who are unmarried and childless are the happiest people of all, according to a professor of behavioral science

>> No.10743625
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Yeah, moids also kill themselves more often because of loneliness lol
Women also live longer without men

>> No.10743645

Has anyone else been physically assaulted while wearing lolita in public? My area is pretty safe and people are usually nice to me so i really didnt expect it. It happened to me recently and I've been kinda scared to wear my stuff out since.

>> No.10743647

Damn I'm a member of the happiest population, cheers!!

>> No.10743652

Not me personally, and I live in one of the most dangerous cities in the US. Most of our meets happen downtown, or used to, and I never had a problem. But even in normie clothes, it's always safer to be with other people. I'd never walk around my city alone. Ever. Not even in jeans and a t-shirt.

>> No.10743676

I would be extremely unhappy and depressed if I couldn't have kids so weird how that works

>> No.10743680

I think as long as you’re living the life you want to live you’ll be happy yknow?

>> No.10743686

I wish the itas and drama whores would leave :/

>> No.10743693

Same, I wish all the fatties would leave too. They’ve done enough damage.

>> No.10743708

This is stupid as fuck. But by all means cling to this shit since you clearly need it.

>> No.10743717

>t-this is stupid
kek cope harder moid

>> No.10743755 [DELETED] 

I wish all the secret sissies would leave, we can't let a single brolita get into our comm without suspecting that he's a sissy. And most of the time it turns out we were right.

>> No.10743756

No, relying on surveys is a pathetic cope.

>> No.10743894

Cupcake hime is all 3

>> No.10744251

I left because I just didn’t feel like me in lolita anymore. Felt like I was trying to hide in a sea of ruffles instead of wearing clothes after a while. I still appreciate the aesthetics a whole lot, and incorporate a lot of frills and feminine bits into my current looks, but my petticoat days are over. I’m honestly not surprised, because originally I got into lolita because I wasn’t allowed to wear hime gyaru. Now that I’m an adult with my own money and shit, I don’t actually know where my style is headed!

>> No.10744255

Rather than leaving, I'm trying to evolve and wear pieces in a less OTT way and in a more otome/ casual style as I get older. I love sweet and ill still wear ott for events but it feels uncomfortable a lot of the time these days,as an almost 30 year old.

>> No.10744340

>Have you ever thought of leaving lolita?
A couple times over the last decade but ultimately I'm in too deep to ever really leave. Pandemic and the lack of socialization made me feel pretty guilty for hoarding all these clothes I rarely wear. Moving a huge wardrobe is also a living nightmare, most of my clothes are still packed from my recent move. I don't think I can bring myself to sell anything knowing it'd be excruciating to find a lot of these pieces again.

>Do you ever get tired of the fashion or expect to get tired of it eventually? Or are you going to wear it until you die?
I'll never tire of wearing lolita but I do get tired of people trying to touch it or accosting me to ask about it when I'm running an errand. Over the years I've learned to wear my pieces in super casual ways, so I can still enjoy the clothes without going all out. I'll still let loose with a full coord when I'm meeting up with friends or so but it's quite rare these days. Does that mean I've sort of moved on from the fashion in my own way?

>Does the fashion or community overwhelm you at times?
Absolutely. I don't have an online presence anymore because of it. Who has the energy to entertain people totally off the rails all day long? I still like seeing a few old comm members, a lot of us have moved into really different places in life but we get along well even without the lolita as our main hobby. Am I jaded or is it kind of hard to form strong connections these days?

>> No.10744367

How were you not allowed to wear hime gyaru?

>> No.10744373

>i-it doesn't count if I don't like it
You can just look at any long-term marriage, but I guess it's hard to understand if you're the leech with the chromosome defect.

>> No.10744375

NTA but this evidence is kind of shit. the reasons some people marry are extremely bizarre and are often results of pressure. of course it's going to make it seem like women are happier alone. the alternative is abysmal.

>> No.10744390

This. I feel so uncomfortable in OTT coords these days, like it's just not me anymore

>> No.10744408

Girls staying silent about her bullying a black woman and old schoolers is violence.

>> No.10744551

i'm sure im gonna keep my interest in the lolita fashion community forever

>> No.10744559

I was 14 and not allowed to wear makeup (and was fully aware I’d need it to be gal). Mom didn’t exactly approve of lolita, either, but the relative modesty won her over in the end

>> No.10744563

thank fuck 14 year olds are too ugly for gyaru.

>> No.10744651

i'm over 30 and this is what i did too. i cant fathom selling all my things like some people do even though i dont want to do full coordinates anymore. they still fit, i still love them, i still want to wear them. i wish there were more people with an online presence who did this.

i'd be interested to see the results of the study if there was a separate category for domestic partnerships / longterm cohabiting relationships.

>> No.10744659

Worry about yourself, hag.

>> No.10744668

sorry i'm 22

>> No.10744678

Even worse.

>> No.10744679

Sounds about right, zoomers always have that weird hostility

>> No.10744686

I can't imagine any woman being happy to be tied to any insufferable piece of shit moid that inhabits this site along with the like minded ones. At the end of the day, males are insufferably selfish and tend to not give a fuck about women's happiness. There's a reason why women are the ones who file for divorce and not moids. Really the only benefit for a woman to get married is to get a nice settlement after the divorce. I can't imagine wanting to be controlled and held back by a temperamental piece of shit who will probably cheat on your anyways. Moids can never provide a good reason for women to want to be with them aside for their own selfish desires to be met.

>> No.10744733
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Got fat as fuck in the past couple years after getting a demanding WFH job. Working on getting back to my pre-covid weight but it’ll probably be a while, so I’m done with lolita for the time being.