Hoarding problems

[Anonymous No.10717636]

Talk to me about non-meme shopping problemin lolita fashion. People used to meme-fy the thing up to the point it's kinda hard to discuss it seriously.

> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?
> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
> How did you managed to help this issue?

[Anonymous No.10717643]

>>10717636
Will drop my story to kick off the thread

> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?

It's not like I own too much, the problem is that I don't wear those at all. I shall admit that brand prices are pretty much out of my comfort zone. Not only I felt bad for spending so much on them, wearing those was ridiculously stressful to me because I was afraid to make any imperfection to them.

> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
Besides the fact that I wasn't wearing my things, I can remember this case when I would just scroll through the insta of this retro fashionista blogger and noticed her post on dresses made from vintage fabric that costed her a few bucks to make. Honestly it felt like a relief to see someone spendding so little on clothes.

> How did you managed to help this issue?
Stopped to buy things. Sometimes I even prevent myself from lurking lolita.
I feel like I'm about to slip out because I just found another dress I'd like to purchase. I like the design, but I feel like most likely I'm not going to ever wear this. Not only because of price, but also because I have some quite toxic feelings and memories tied to it. Sometimes I'm really repelled with the thought of wearing those. I haven't sold my things, I keep them as a novelty even though I could probably give a better use to those money.

[Anonymous No.10717671]

>>10717636
>People used to meme-fy the thing up to the point it's kinda hard to discuss it seriously.

At one hand I wish people actually did treat it seriously, but at another hand it would be another fb comm sjw thing.

[Anonymous No.10717681]

>>10717636
>People used to meme-fy the thing up to the point it's kinda hard to discuss it seriously.
It's hard to discuss any "hoarding" in any hobby that involves collecting. There will never be a concensus on what is excessive, or how an item needs to be used to justify owning it. You have to decide for yourself how to comfortably engage in a collecting hobby.

[Anonymous No.10717690]

> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?
Not so much with hoarding since it was when I was newer to lolita and didn't have a ton of stuff yet but I found myself using shopping as a coping mechanism a lot more than I should've. I would buy a ton of stuff whenever life got too much and once it arrived I barely even cared about it. I was more addicted to the act of buying something than actually being exited about the thing itself. I was also buying a bunch of impractical stuff that was too OTT for my lifestyle. Everything matched because I was gothic but I really didn't feel that happy with my wardrobe or feel that great wearing it, I was just using the action of buying things to cope with my problems.

> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
At the end of each year I total how much I spend on each of my hobbies, but I found that by October I had already spent more than double on lolita than I had in the past years and it shocked me straight back into reality. I forced myself onto a no buy until the end of the year because I felt so guilty.

> How did you managed to help this issue?
2020 happened. Japan Post stopped shipping for months so I just got out of the habit. Without being able to buy stuff when I was stressed or sad and have it arrive within the week I had to actually learn how to deal with my problems instead of going shopping. I went on a no buy for over 6 months and I only broke it for an absolute dream piece. I spent those months really trying to nail down my style and decided to switch from gothic to classic which is more fun for me to wear and coord. I fell in love with the fashion again instead of just shopping. Having to wait longer for stuff made the excitement come back too. I think now I have a much healthier approach to lolita fashion and life in general.

[Anonymous No.10717790]

> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?
Yes, sometimes I felt like it would get out of hand and I would have to do a wardrobe purge. Something after selling anything I will focus on the next thing I can buy and I even annoy my self with it.
> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
Usually I reign my self in before it gets too bad. I refuse to have credit card debt, and it has pushed me to get a 2nd job for hobby money.
> How did you managed to help this issue?
One dress in one dress out. My wardrobe has always stayed under a certain amount of dresses. If I want something new I have to sell something. If I haven't worn it in a year it has to go unless it's special. Rarely buy ANYTHING first hand. If I have a profit the money stays in my PayPal. Keep accessories with in at least three color families.

[Anonymous No.10717837]

> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?

Feeling I needed to buy a several items at a time to justify the postage costs as x postage divided by 6 items seemed more economical than x postage for 1 headbow

Still trying to get out of that habit as I know hauls can end up costing more in postage.

[Anonymous No.10717838]

>>10717837
you sound fucking stupid

[Anonymous No.10717840]

>>10717837
Same honestly. I literally feels like a money loss to ship one thing at a time.

[Anonymous No.10721761]

My small AF flat prevents me from buying loads of lolita clothes

[Anonymous No.10721764]

I have the problem of collecting colorways of dresses I like.
have at least two colorways of all my dream dresses.
And I can never sell them cuz I cannot decide which one to sell.

[Anonymous No.10721771]

I handle my money responsibly and rarely go overboard with spending but lately I'm just starting to feel like I have too many dresses. It may sound silly since I only have around 40 main pieces, and I wear lolita around 10-12 times per month so every piece definitely gets worn semi-regularly. I just feel weird owning so many completely frivolous items. It feels like adding more at this point doesn't actually broaden my wardrobe, instead making me feel slightly stressed with how many options I have to choose from. Who really needs more than 40 relatively similar dresses?

I don't understand how girls with 100+ pieces don't feel some sort of guilt on spending money on such excess. Not that I'm trying to say they're doing something wrong, in fact, I'd rather learn their secrets.

[Anonymous No.10722155]

>>10717636
> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?
Yes. I honestly have stuff that I don't even have space for so it stays in the box it arrived in. There's so much stuff in my wardrobe that I forget even exists.
> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
Using shopping as a cope doesn't work when spending money makes you feel worse. You definitely notice when you see the amount you're spending after the "oh well I need more basics and stuff, so it's ok for me to splurge this month" or "oh Id really like a set of new accessories for this main piece" or "tihis is super expensive but like its so cute! I'll just wear it enough to justify the cost..." happens enough times.

> How did you managed to help this issue?
Keeping a digital log of everything I own and sorting it into folders. If I buy an item, I have to be able to
a) make at least 5 different coords with items I already own
b) not have anything too similar (ie no two tartan classic JSKs, no two floral skirts, etc)
c) be made of cotton if blouse/undergarment
d) be something I would reasonably wear often
If it makes it through this whole list, I'll usually wait anywhere from a couple days to a week to ponder on it to prevent impulse buys.

I also have a list of things when I look at my wardrobe that are "missing" (ie some good quality leather oxfords) that will take higher priority than something I see and impulsively think that I want. I think of alterations I would like to make to my current pieces (ie turning tights into stockings) to help me feel better about not purchasing a shiny new item, but make an item I already love more wearable.

I made a list of things to sell and do plan to declutter my wardrobe and get it all sorted. I think seeing it visually in person altogether in an aesthetic way will really sate my feelings of needing to buy more.

Sorry for the rant. I feel like it's really important to talk about this issue.

[Anonymous No.10722267]

I was definitely addicted to buying lolita in college, I charged it all on my credit card and got into debt pretty badly. Part of this was due to wanting to keep up with trends rather than just developing a style that I liked and trying to keep up with my friends.

I eventually left lolita because I realized I couldn’t afford to be involved in it and sold all except my favorite dress and things that were too busted to sell. I got back into it in 2020 because I got a promotion and could afford it, but I could care less about trends and buy things that I like. I’m not involved in any comm and I’m in it for myself, I only really talk about lolita with my friends who know about it (but not friends because of lolita).

[Anonymous No.10722348]

>>10717636
My issue is I don't think selling my unwanted pieces is worth the time & risk, but I don't want to donate them to the thrift store either. So I have a small box of items that are too expensive to throw out but too "cheap" to sell, like non-AP brand skirts mostly. I'm a lonelita, so I can't swap with a comm friend.

[Anonymous No.10722350]

>>10722348
Relatable. Try going to a con with a lolita presence/tea party and trading at the swap meet. I traded out a lot of stuff I was too lazy to sell.

[Anonymous No.10722382]

Just did the reverse hanger trick lordt help me. I hope I get invited to more meetups or I'll never wear half of this, my wardrobe is split between ott classic and gothic and all I usually wear is the gothic. There's no symphony or cute cafes in my city or I'd wear it alone

[Anonymous No.10722452]

>>10722382
Just wear it out normally. I don't know why you guys have to wait for meet-ups.

[Anonymous No.10722460]

>>10717643
There's nothing really wrong with having clothes you don't wear. Just think of it like art pieces. I have a few dresses I don't really wear and still consider myself somewhat minimalist because I just don't have a lot and they're like art to me. So don't feel bad or guilty you're not wearing them as long as you like them.

I probably wouldn't get the dress you have bad associations with though! In general try not to keep things that make you feel bad.

[Anonymous No.10722537]

>>10722350
Thank you, that's a good idea.

[Anonymous No.10723854]

>>10722348
Why not sell the items as a bundle on Lace Market?

[Anonymous No.10723872]

>>10723854
who's gonna buy $300 worth of random unpopular skirts?

[Anonymous No.10723873]

>>10722452
I do but I don't want to look like a retard in an ott chiffon dress at a the local grocery store. The symphony and museums are ok for that kind of cord but I don't have that here

[Anonymous No.10723883]

>>10723873
Do you not have restaurants or parks to picnic in where you live? Do you only own OTT ballgowns?

[Anonymous No.10723934]

>>10723873

I am so tired of this excuse. Literally make your own event. If you live in a larger city there are so many events every month that are appropriate for lolita, and if you're in a smaller town go to a park or a nice place such as a cute cafe to chill, study, or go to a place with an interesting background to take pictures. You meetup only lolitas are so unimaginative.

[Anonymous No.10724073]

>>10723883
The restaurants are pretty divey and parks not very many but full of homeless where they do exist. I guess I could wear it to a park sure
>>10723934
I already said earlier there's literally no cute cafes. Hate this city so much. It's very much a city of McDonald's, Burger King, dive bar, homeless shelters, unless you drive 2 hours away to a better city

[Anonymous No.10724117]

>>10724073
So you live somewhere rural enough to have nothing but fast food for a 2 hour radius, yet somehow have a fuckton of homeless people sleeping in parks like a major city? Where the hell do you live?

[Anonymous No.10724121]

>>10724073

I drive out to state parks when I'm bored of my local parks. It's definitely worth looking into if there are any, you'd be surprised I think.

[Anonymous No.10724140]

>>10724121
Nice idea thank you. There's a state park or two I'd like to check out, most of them are a decent ways away from my city but it's worth a shot. Hopefully my dresses don't wrinkle. Only thing I dislike about AP's cotton prints, wrinkles up if you sit in the car too long

[Anonymous No.10724144]

>>10724073
Tell us where you live and I will literally find things for you to do

[Anonymous No.10724145]

>>10721761
Hasn't stopped me lol!

> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?
I kind of went nuts last year and spent way outside of my means as an unhealthy coping mechanism during a breakup.

I know it doesn't sound like a lot to some, but I'm caping my wardrobe at 30 main pieces and will go the "one in, one out" way going forward. I have a separate rack for lolita that I'm constantly rearranging and trying to fold blouses, cutsews, etc. instead of hanging them because it's at max capacity.

Half of my main pieces are taobao and bodyline so I feel like I can actually wear them and be my clumsy-ass self. I would be devastated if I ever ripped or stained one of my brand pieces the way I do my normie clothes.

I wish I had invested in a smaller amount of brand pieces instead, but then I would probably wear lolita even less.

> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
My constantly empty bank account and having witnessed my mom's shopping addiction growing up.

> How did you managed to help this issue?
My budget tightened up significantly so I can't really afford to be getting a dress or two or three or four a month. I can't see myself going that crazy again due to a lack of space and there only being a handful of dresses that I still want. I know I have addictive tendencies, so as long as I have other financial priorities, I'm good.

But I haven't really dealt with the underlying issue at all. Wearing lolita makes me feel so genuinely happy and it's hard to not want more. I'm trying to learn to work with and appreciate what I have for now though. I could have a huge collection, but have all of my coords looking more or less the same like Tyler. Being limited really forces you to be creative and I'm enjoying the challenge.

[Anonymous No.10724148]

I'm very tempted to throw away my unwanted brand because I'm too embarrassed to show my friends how much there is, and I also don't want it cluttering up my place for ages while I wait for it to sell. Might just sell the rarer/expensive pieces and chuck the rest. I know it's a waste of money but I'm rich.

[Anonymous No.10724149]

>>10724148
Mail your unwanted brand to me, I'll even send you the money if I sell it

[Anonymous No.10724150]

>>10724145
SHUT UP STUPID GAY HOMO NIGGER FAGGOT!!! *kills you, shits on your dead body. Smears some of the poop on your face, takes a picture of it, breaks into your parents' home and destroys/deletes all their photos of you, replacing them with the dead poop corpse photo of you so its the only thing they'll have to remember your face with*

Now what, bitch? Too late to be sorry

[Anonymous No.10724154]

>>10724144
Drop email I'm interested. I do have a couple other lolitas in my area but they don't really like me. I'm pretty annoying and lame tbf. But they also only wear it to meet ups because of how bad our area is

[Anonymous No.10724228]

> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?
No, but i do own more lolita then what I will ever wear in a year since I am an hermit. I plan on doing a clear out soon.
> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
Just noticing how little i go out.
> How did you managed to help this issue?
I make more of a conscious effort to never buy anything too ott and don't dabble into prints too much so i can wear lolita more casually.

[Anonymous No.10724290]

>>10717636
>> Have you ever had an actual problem with excessively shopping or hoarding lolita clothes?
Probably, but I've done multiple purges and I'm sticking to a low buy (WL only + 1 in 1 out) for this year. I'd say the biggest problem I'll have these days is having the urge to buy something just because I'm interested in restoring it more than actually wearing it.

>> How did you managed to realize you have such an issue?
It's not difficult to realize that there's a problem when I was spending most of my nights after work popping open secondhand sites and hunting through multiple tags til it was time for bed. Simple solution has been just turning off my computer earlier and blocking websites as needed.

>> How did you managed to help this issue?
Honestly, I've just run out of main pieces to buy. All the things left on my WL are very difficult to come by and it's been a couple of years since I've felt compelled by new releases by any of my favorite brands. I also spent a lot of time bulking up support pieces in the last two years so I can wear everything I have more often and am also hitting the point where that's pretty set. I'm sure I'll get to the point where I'll do another big clear out soon enough, not super worried about any of this anymore.

[Anonymous No.10726097]

>>10717636
All lolitas EGL cosplayeres have hording problems duh

[Anonymous No.10730365]

>>10724154
Play games