But how do you lonelita?

[dummy fish No.10580267]

Life returns to the comm after a year! the lolitas are coming out of hibernation as the state opens up again. new meets are springing up, and coord pics flood the FB group. It should be celebratory but I do not share their joy. Why?

The whole community is full of itas and pronounies. I've been meaning to leave for a while and be a lonelita but I don't know how to because I've never not worn it with other people. And no, this is the only nearby comm so I can't even join another state's. But I'm ready to ditch these itas and forge my own path, so how do you lonelitas cope?

[Anonymous No.10580270]

I'm actually wondering the same thing. I stay far the hell away from genderspecials and sjws already... I have no interest in interacting with them but they're the majority of my local comm. Where do I go as a lonelita? What do I do?

[Anonymous No.10580274]

I wear it toned down when I'm going somewhere alone and a bit more dressy when going out with bf, friends or other people I know. Though I wear classic so I haven't gotten any nasty comments as it blends better with normies.

[Anonymous No.10580275]

>>10580270
>What do I do?
You live your usual mundane life but in a frilly dress

[Anonymous No.10580278]

>>10580267
>>10580270
Seems to be the same thing is happening everywhere. I also decided to be a lonelita now unless a really nice event pops up. It helps to be in a big city and have an existing circle of friends. Instead of meet days have treat myself days, since that's what meets are anyway. Go to a new art exhibit, new store, new cafe. Take your existing friends to brunch, go see the cherry blossoms, a flower farm, take day trips to new locations, go see a show or ballet once they are back up. Honestly just invest in the good existing friendships and occasions are bound to pop up.

The hard part is if you don't have an existing group of friends, or are far away from them. I would try to find new hobby groups that center about something creative or activity based rather than consuming. Unfortunately those groups are also probably invaded by the sjws an pronounies but it might be possible to make a friend or two and then run.

[dummy fish No.10580284]

>>10580278
probably helps that I have other alt friends. I live in a small city though...my biggest fear is seeing an ita in public while on an outing or worse: coming across a meet of itas.

[Anonymous No.10580286]

>>10580284
Lurkmoar newfag

[dummy fish No.10580289]

>>10580286
forgive me, it's not always i dip into the seedy underbelly of the fashion.

[eglmailforsalesandstuff@gmail.(...) No.10580290]

>>10580267
Afaik I'm the only lolita in my city
It's a bit sad because sometimes I dream of going to tearooms and events with other ppl, but it has some advantages: no drama, not being called ita for wearing casual etc

[Anonymous No.10580303]

>>10580267
why not try the friendfinder thread? If you have non-sjw online friends it could make things easier

[Anonymous No.10580311]

I just wear it whenever I feel like it as long as it's not raining. I kinda want to join a comm though the one in my state are too far away. I know most comms are on facebook but I feel iffy about facebook (even though I have instagram) I would recommend amino or something if I knew what the community is like in there.

[Anonymous No.10580321]

>Do things you usually do
>Do it in lolita fashion

[Anonymous No.10580323]

I can't even be a lonelita anymore cause where I live is overrun with homeless drug addicts who are violent thanks to sjws. Do people have better or worse experiences in small towns?

[Anonymous No.10580346]

Do none of you wear lolita outside of meets or something??
Just live your life doing what you always do except in lolita...
Casual coords help if you're that worried about standing out too much or something

[Anonymous No.10580397]

>>10580346
What happened to this board it was mostly lifestylers not even 5 years ago what's up with the absurd amount of people who can't imagine wearing the fashion as... fashion.
>>10580323
Literally never had a problem wearing it over the years in a town of like 20k people, just move you're obviously miserable.

[Anonymous No.10580487]

>>10580397
>it was mostly lifestylers not even 5 years ago
This is patently false

[Anonymous No.10584599]

>>10580323
>homeless drug addicts who are violent thanks to sjws
uh huh

[Anonymous No.10584621]

You just wear your lolita as clothes rather than a costume you only put on for meet-ups. It's not exactly difficult.

Maybe it's because I've always been a lonelita, but I don't understand people who only wear it with their comm? Like, are you so terrified of looking "weird" in public that you can only look weird in a big group? imo it's way more embarrassing to dress up in stupid outfits and wander around with a bunch of other weirdos, especially if any are ita. Some comms are so bad normies would think it's some sort of tard charity group, like maybe some sort of "teach the retards to sew theater costumes" program.

And why even buy lolita if you're only going to wear it once a month for a few hours during a meet-up?

I wear lolita to go grocery shopping, to the laundromat, to run errands, to go out to eat, etc. I wear goth and obnoxiously OTT sweet, not even something like toned down classic or casual. I live in a fairly rural region in the bible belt but I travel into a huge city as well regularly, and I've never had any issues. I get loads of compliments pretty much every time I go out, even from little old church ladies and drunken rednecks.

[soup No.10584622]

you should change your name to baka fish

[Anonymous No.10584623]

>pronounies
Fucking gold.

[Anonymous No.10584628]

>>10580323
What difference does this even make?
I live in a very big city and regularly wait for public transit in very seedy parts of town brimming with homeless/addicts in lolita and I've never had anything bad happen. Hell they're nice and give me compliments.

>>10584621
Based.

[Anonymous No.10584629]

OP can't wear anything outside of meets cause they probably don't have friends outside of their comm. Pathetic.

[Anonymous No.10584630]

>>10580267
Just wear lolita and live your life, and if you’re too much of a coward to do so then give it up.

[Anonymous No.10584632]

>>10584628
Until a couple of years ago they were not so bad but more recently the homeless addicts have become fucking feral or something, they have stalked me, they have thrown shit at me, I have seen them assault people, good for you but it's fucking horrible here.

[Anonymous No.10584638]

>>10584632
Okay but what does wearing lolita matter?

[Anonymous No.10584639]

>>10584638
Lolita makes you a target. It's hyper feminine clothing, no one looks at egl and says to themselves "I bet that bitch boxes"

[Anonymous No.10584643]

I live very rural and I am a lonelita. I participate in online spaces to discuss my hobby. I wear the fashion when I feel like it, either at my house or out to do shopping/errands. The hobby is a self-expression more than a group activity to me, and I am not bothered by strangers stares or questions. I wouldn't mind going to a con sometime or a meet, but I live too far away to bother at the moment.

[Anonymous No.10584666]

>>10580267
What drew you to lolita in the first place? Were you already into alternative aesthetics? It just doesn’t seem like a huge jump to me to wear it solo rather than in a group, but maybe that’s because I never blended in in the first place. None of the lolitas I know came from a mainstream aesthetic either. We just balance looking as polished as possible with giving fewer fucks, and keep going, just like before we got into lolita. But that’s probably easier said than done when you were an artsy fartsy kid from the get go.

>>10584621
>imo it's way more embarrassing to dress up in stupid outfits and wander around with a bunch of other weirdos, especially if any are ita.

This.

[Anonymous No.10584698]

I’m thinking of going semi-lonelita. I don’t like a lot of the people in my comm because they’re immature 18-25 year old genderspecials. I’m trying to focus more on 1 on 1 activities (or small group activities) with people from my comm who I do like enough to consider as friends outside of lolita. I might still attend big comm events like tea parties because I feel weird about wearing OTT stuff like 3F bonnets in public when I’m by myself.

[Anonymous No.10584707]

>>10580267
Idgi, multiple ppl are saying they stay away from people with unusual pronouns. I myself am just a woman, but like, I've never found pronouns to be an indicator of personality/decency. People can suck one way or another. Can anyone answer why they avoid "genderspecial" people? Maybe it's a regional thing?

[Anonymous No.10584709]

>>10584621
I live in a city and everyone is very kind to me as well. It's a pretty eccentric city, mind, but I've never had a negative word at all. People have always liked it.

[Anonymous No.10584712]

>>10584621
This is honestly why I stopped wearing lolita and started wearing other jfash. I was only wearing it for meets and it felt like it was defeating the point

[Anonymous No.10584787]

>>10584707
i dont have a problem with them in theory, but they tend to be more likely to be tumblr style sjws that you have to walk on eggshells around lest you "offend" them and cause them to have a meltdown. sjws also tend to steer every conversation they have into social justice issues, and even though most lolitas seem to lean left as a whole, many of us don't care to discuss human rights or sociology when we're just chilling at high tea with a bunch of semi-strangers

i've met gender nonconforming ppl who are totally cool and chill, and i've met raging sjws who fit squarely into the gender binary, but the hypothetical venn diagram has a ton of crossover

[Anonymous No.10584788]

>>10580303
There's scrotes there.

[Anonymous No.10584803]

>>10584707
I usually avoid pronounies because ime they are extremely toxic, narcissists, or other types of miserable or obnoxioius people. And that makes perfect sense if you think about it, bc they're the type of person who made a big part of their personality their desire to be called special.

It's no different than someone who's entire personality is being black, or gay, or whatever. Except in those cases they don't hinge their identity on the validation of strangers.

[Anonymous No.10584807]

>>10584787
>>10584803
Well said.

[Anonymous No.10584808]

>>10584707
Girls who don’t want to be called she/her (especially when they don’t do anything to act or dress like anything other than “binary women”) give off huge red flags indicating that they’re narcissistic, immature, have a victim complex, and internalized misogyny. I can’t be bothered to play along with their delusions.

[Anonymous No.10584852]

>>10580267
You put on clothes in the morning, and go on with your day. If those clothes are lolita, same story. It's not that special, or a big complex process. It's clothes. You wear them, congrats, you've done it. If you feel like and enjoy it, go play around making coords or think trough new outfits in your free time. You don't nééd to share them to make them you know. Being a lonelita is literally just doing what you always would do with fashion, but do it on your own.

Being a lonelita doesn't work if you tie wearing it with community or make it something deeper. That's kinda in the lone part.

[Anonymous No.10584854]

>>10584707
I generally agree with >>10584787 . In theory I don't care much. Altrough I also find it a bit bullshit since I agree with you pronounce don't really determen personality, it's not really worth making drama over. I have better things to worry about.

Altrough some are chill, it's sadly truth that a large group that's all over the pronoun thing behaves horrible that makes me avoid them. Most posts in lolita groups I stop reading if they start with a pronoun disclaimer because you know that unless you just want to give asspats regardless what comes next, it's going to be drama 99% of the time.

[Anonymous No.10584859]

>>10584803
hard agree, especially on the narcissist angle. is it just coincidence that all genderspecial people i know literally only talk about themselves?

[Anonymous No.10584914]

>>10584638
It makes you more of a target retard

[Anonymous No.10584915]

>>10584859
^ this

I'm fine if you're an actual adult about it, but if it's just another excuse to make you feel better about yourself, or more individual, then I don't have the energy for you anymore, and you won't find a peer in me.

[Anonymous No.10584922]

>>10584914
Shut up parrot. Lolita makes you stand out in general. If you're not brave enough to wear it in public leave the fashion.

[Anonymous No.10584933]

>>10584922
Understanding risk =/= being a coward.
You aren't a coward for wearing a mask at high traffic places, seats in cars nor a condom while fucking to avoid AIDS. This may be a bit too big brained for you to understand though.

[Anonymous No.10584940]

>>10584915
there's nothing adult about having fake pronouns.

[Anonymous No.10585608]

>>10584940
I like to go a step further and avoid people that put pronouns in their bio even if they match their actual sex. It's pure npc behavior.