Feeling weird, /cgl/'s.
Reflecting on the past year. I posted several times on this board on my cosplay and fitness ambitions. I was a skinny boi, but a tall one with broad shoulders. Decided I wanted to cosplay as All Might and I hurled myself into the fitness world, determined to bring the character to life. Some of you may have even seen some of my posts. I followed several weight lifting programs with fervor. Counted every calorie. Went from skinnyfat to properly fucking strong. I put on 50 pounds of the course of a year, with a 20 pound 'cut' in the middle, to avoid piling on too much fat. At 6'8" I was absolutely determined to pull off All Might - no muscle suit, no gimmicks, just pure size and muscle.
Well the con finally came and went (Youmacon, specifically). And Christ, we're all our own worst critics, huh?
Objectively the cosplay was a success: a huge hit, had hundreds of pictures taken, and everyone loved it. I embodied the character. If you were at Youmacon you must have spotted me or at least heard me. But looking in the mirror I was pretty disappointed in myself. Yes I got BIG. That's for sure. A large, broad chest. Big, thick arms. A very full and substantial frame. At the time of the con I weighed nearly 300 lbs (not fat, again, I'm 6'8"). But my body composition just wasn't there...I looked big, tall, and strong, but in no way ripped or muscular.I scrutinized every inch of my body in the mirror for being simultaneously too large (not lean enough) and too small (not muscular enough). It was so bad that I never shared any pictures of myself online to /cgl/ or reddit despite promising tons of people that I would.
Truthfully, I made the best progress feasible in the course of a single year. The goal body I envisioned would take at least 4 years of hard ass work (or 2.5 years if I juice). So I'm turning my focus to 2020, to try to nail this character. But now that the con is behind me, and it was...anticlimactic, I feel my motivation is nearly lost.