/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10305843
Yeah, when I realized I just didn't fit the sweet aesthetic.

>>10305849

Same and I did sell most of it minus a couple prints I happened to really love. When I get the Honey Cake MTO I'm not sure if I'll keep it or sell it at a discounted price to those who missed it (and to undercut sleazy scalpers who may have ordered just to resell)

Imagine all the money I spent on shipping, shopping service charges, taxes, and now people expect me to sell my stuff with a discount.

>>10305843
Not really no.

>>10305843
Yeah, I think about all the good that money could have done in my life and i feel sad and gross. but then when I wear it I feel jubilantly beautiful so it’s a struggle

>>10305858

I hate that aspect of selling stuff. People act like you're a scalper if you don't sell things for half what you bought it or something. Everyone wants the deepest discounts but they sell their own damaged shit for more than my good quality items.

No I don't either. I buy what I want, and if I don't want it I'll sell it for however much I want. Whats up with most of you having insecurities. Who gives a shit.

>>10305879

For me personally the feeling isn't so much insecurity as feeling disappointed when my wardrobe after a lot of effort was in a state that I was unhappy with. Since changing what and how I buy things and selling the things that weren't what I wanted I am much happier with my wardrobe.

>>10305858
Fucking 10% Japanese tax if you live here instead of visit on a tourist visa. Yeah you just can't get new stuff cheap unless it isn't popular

>>10305881
There’s a 10% sales tax in a lot of US states too. If you can’t afford the 10% tax it’s not a good idea to buy the item anyway.

I never used to feel this way but lately I've gotten into this mindset that every time I wear lolita I should come up with a new coord and take pictures for social media, or it's not worth it. It's also lead me to buy more and more stuff so I can keep making new coords and putting out content. I used to be happy wearing outfits I loved over and over, and I still like these outfits but it feels like if I can't post a picture of it I should just wear something else. It's exhausting and I really want to stop feeling this way but I don't know how. I don't want to simply stop having any online presence, but I wish it could become more fun again and less competitive.

>>10305918
You make your rules anon!
There's no way to change the rules of the game, but you can change your own outlook of how you want to play it. If you're talking about Instagram I recommend stories. Take a nice picture of you being happy in a re-worn coord, let it sit for 24 hours, and that's your presence. After that day of publication that story fades into your archive, where only you can go in and admire your smiling face. It's nowhere near as permanent as a post, and can therefore be treated more light heartedly. Pick. Coord you love, recreate it, tweak it, just get out there and find that spark of joy. Online presence is one thing, your happiness is another. Maybe detail shots, new pictures of the same coord in a new place, comparisons of then and now etc would be able to fill your need for "content" too?

Or just don't post. Try living a day without sharing publicly. Take a de-tox, meditate over happiness while you're all dressed up. Change your rules, and stick to them as long as you like!

>>10305907
I can afford it but we were talking about people demanding the exact tag price for sales and calling people scalpers for adding on the extra cost we actually paid

>>10305843
No, my taste literally hasn't changed the slightest bit in 11 years. I guess that's the one advantage about being severely autistic about the things you like.

>>10305929
when did this ever happen

>>10305849
Same but I decided to stay in the sweet realm

>>10305843
I had very high fever yesterday and started hallucinating. At some point, I was outside solving a problem for Todoroki (BNHA).

>>10305931

It hasn't personally happened to me though I do get messages for really lowball offers on LM complaining about how expensive an item is from people who are either broke and want me to lower my price to accomodate them or are clearly still very young and don't realoze how much this fashion costs. Some people have gotten pissed at and attacked others just for selling stuff at a different price than they suggested in the price check thread. And in that thread there is a lot of arguing over value between anons who are more honest about what things are worth vs anons who either think you should sell everthing for super cheap or clearly want the item and are suggesting insanely low prices so they can get a deal on it. That's the impression those threads tend to leave on me anyway with all the arguing.

>>10305931
All the time in BST lol. If you're selling anything above retail or whatever some poor fag deems fair, you're a scalper.

>>10305961

I never even sell above retail and my items are usually like new people still send me pms on LM about how I should lower the price for them because some people (AKA them) can't afford that much.

>>10305964
I had no idea that sellers got lowball PMs as often as I read about on here. Seriously entitled. Makes me not look forward to selling on LM once I get around to it.

>>10305967
I sell all the time because I like to rotate my wardrobe and I rarely get this. Maybe it depends on your sub style though, like if it’s more common with sweet vs classic

>>10305972

I do feel like sweet is full of the "I'm special and unique and deserve what I want" type of people...it is already the style for most fatties (I was fat when I started wearing sweet too and later lost weight) who tend to be a bit spoiled or entitled at times (remember all those people whining about AP being elitist and bigoted for sizing, for not letting them wear taobao to brand tea parties, and for other stuff?). And in general younger people are often introduced to lolita via sweet so that lack of maturity shows in their expectations of price and of what other people should do for them.

I'm switching to almost exclusively old school and whenever I get around to listing my old sugary sweet stuff the people lamenting the price come out of the woodworks almost immediately. Especially APfags. My BABY items usually take longer to sell and have more reasonable buyers while AP stuff sells for more faster but I get more requests for a cheaper price even with offers set to no from people who are probably new/desperate.

>>10305918
Does your insta have a very strict format for coord pics? Like a clean background and the focus is only on the outfit? Those kinds of pics are nice and put the focus on the outfit, but can be limiting in alot of ways. Either you'll have to post less often (unless you have some kind of magical bottomless wardrobe) or change the format of your insta to include casual pics as well as proper coord pics. Maybe in more unique spots so there is still artistic interest other than your coord. If its not fun or sustainable to do what you're currently doing, you can always change things up! Do what makes you personally happy to look back on!

>>10305960
What the hell are you selling? I've been on LM for 4 years and have sold almost 200 items and never had people openly complaining that I overprice despite selling at the price I bought it for. Just offers that were too low for me 2 times but they just politely asked.
>Some people have gotten pissed at and attacked others just for selling stuff at a different price than they suggested in the price check thread
This is not what happened, they asked over several replies and suggestions and then just went with what they intended at the start and anons asked them why they asked in the first place (and thus clogging up the thread). But yeah, there was one shitposter who tried their hardest to derail with vendetta after that.
> who either think you should sell everthing for super cheap or clearly want the item and are suggesting insanely low prices so they can get a deal on it.
I have never seen completely unreasonable insanely cheap suggestions. Link them to me. Just because it's slightly too low for the one asking that doesn't mean those gulls aren't honest in what they think the item is worth.

>>10305961
Link the posts you mean because everytime these claims are made, I never see any proof. I did the same thing on LM and bst threads and never had or witnessed that problem. It honestly seems like all the crying about scalper accusations is overreacting or samefagging by the same 5 people at this point.

>>10305973
The cult around AP is interesting. I wonder why it's the brand most newfags seem to put in such high esteem? The designs aren't any more or less fetching than btssb (I'd even argue that baby>ap but really that's just my opinion).
Is it the lolita community as a whole that propagates this? Where do they get this strange ap obsession early on??

>>10305989
When I was a babylita I actually loved Baby and never bought AP, I didn’t like it. Now I buy way more AP than Baby, though. I still think Baby is underrated though.

I get saddened by all the negativity that is expressed over people's efforts to dress up and have fun. My wardrobe just stays in the closet.

>>10305993
????????why tho??????

I sometimes see listings on Lacemarket that are like, “This was my dream dress and I love it and it’s been kept safely in my closet and I’ve never worn it!!!” Clothes are meant for wearing you weirdo.

>>10305991

I prefer Meta to both (minus some of the weird random prints they should be ashamed of themselves for) but BABY is a close second for me. Their prints are the best to me and their fabrics I prefer much more. Can't say a lot about modern BABY though as I haven't bought new in a while. I think the popularity of certain styles of sweet is what makes people most interested in AP in the beginning and excited about buying it. Everyone has a preference and all of course but once I owned a few modern AP dresses I just became disenchanted with the hype. Anything chiffon I had bought released after MCD or HL was disappointing even if the prints were cute and I always felt AP sweet when not doing a sailor or school aesthetic frequently comes off as costumey for me compared to other brands.

>>10305989
unsure about newer prints but ap's older prints have more of the "kawaii" look that weebs tend to love. most older baby prints are still cute are a different style. i think it's doing better at capturing the aesthetic now than ap imo tho

>>10305998
This. AP has a more modern kawaii aesthetic which grabs your attention first. Then you start to notice Baby's more gentle storybook aesthetic. I also went for AP stuff first and then realized Baby (and IW) were doing more timeless illustrative work and gravitated in that direction.

(I'm here for Meta too. They've done some of my favourite prints.)

>>10305918
Post outfit details! This way you can make a TON of different pictures out of one piece.

This is probably off topic, but I'm not sure of a better place to ask.

I just recently moved to Utah a few months ago. Which conventions here are the best and most worthwhile?

>>10305993
>letting others influence what you do
anon...

>>10305996
I used to be an AP fag, but now their modern stuff just throw me apart. And some of their designs are so bodyline-tier.

>>10305858
USED shit should absolutely be sold at a discount. Because it's used. Not a difficult concept

>>10306086

If it is in as good condition as new then that doesn't matter so much. In general if they aren't trying to make more than they bought it for (including those fees). I don't really think any dress is worth more than retail but anons will pay $1K for puppet circus with some flaws.

It all varies based on who is looking for what. Used shit can sell for over 3 times retail ($1000 honey cake sets) as long as people buy it.

>>10306086
Suck it up, poorfag. I'm selling my used shit for what it's going for, and sometimes that just happens to be more than what I originally paid.

>>10306086
That's not how markets work, if something is more sought after, the seller can absolutely sell it for more. If that's not to your liking, you're free not to buy. I don't understand this mentality.

>tell my crush I like them
>get really nicely and gently rejected
>lie down
>try not to cry
>cry a lot

>>10306143
But it WON'T sell for prices like that unless it's rare or limited. People listing shit for the 100th time at the same price every time need to get a clue.

>>10306176
yes it does, and most of it gets snatched up because even if you sell it for higher than you bought it you can still make a profit if it's popular. you only see the unwanted shit left over

I'm so depressed I have been crying too hard that I inadvertently vomit. Why does life suck so fucking much?

Is there a reason as a person with severe depression worsened by emotional trauma with no emotional or financial support network who can't adford medication I shouldn't just fucking kill myself?

Cute dresses are nice and all but they won't make my horrible abusive mother actually love me or bring my dead sibling and best friend back to life.

Do broken and lonely people like me just deserve to die?

I spent over $1k this month on normie office clothes from therealreal.. I have mixed feelings

>>10306203
You already know the answer

>>10306228
Time to turn in your AP stamp card

I have a dedicated craft room now! Dreams do come true

Are there any must-haves for sewing rooms? I already have the square storage unit from ikea for fabric

>>10306203
Don't be dumb anon. I was there once too, and sometimes it's still really hard. I still deal with depression (unmedicated), but there comes a point in life where you just have to pony up and deal. You have to make happiness. It doesn't just come to you randomly and stick around forever. It's a constant search and you have to learn how to find it even in the depths of hell.

>>10306258

I guess I'm just too weak of a person to just up and make myself happy. I don't even care if I feel happy. I just want to feel okay. But I never do no matter what I do or try or how many counseling sessions I try to attend. Maybe I really should die.

>>10306259
>I just want to feel okay.
Antidepressants.

My first kuma kumya came in today and I’m so happy

>>10305961
>>10305964

I've found that the more you lower prices the more likely you are to get the weirdoes lowballing you. We're talking IW luckypack contents, so maybe they think the ugly stuff should be given to them for free, idk. They didn't even bother me when I was selling $300 AP dresses but crawled out of the woodwork requesting I lower prices on $70 IW dresses.

>>10306146
That's all part of the process Anon. Please cry your heart out without any shame. Heartbreak hurts. But remember, by honouring the hope you had through tears you can properly say good bye. The best way to fall out of love is to be properly rejected, like you just were. Be sad, be mad, and let it all pass in time.

>go to a small local post office
>all of them are POC
>shows them my tracking and waits
>different guy comes out with a package that looks like it has clothes inside
>go to the counter to get it because I thought it was my package
>its not
>walk back to the waiting area
>”dude anon thats not the same black guy”
>dies because I know it wasn’t the same person but I thought he had my package and I accidentally looked racist

Here's hoping my Sheglit order arrives before Christmas. It won't, but I still hope...

>>10306295

Congrats, anon!

I wonder if I'm the person who sold it to you? Probably not, but either way I'm happy for you!

can't decide if polyester or cotton is better; death by heat or death by ironing.

>>10306295
Am I the only one who thinks Kuma Kumya is cuter than Usakumya?

Is it weird to feel happy when you find out an item you wanted went to a seagull?
Like, I'm kind of sad that I didn't get it when I had the chance, but knowing that the owner is someone who uses /cgl/ is kind of comforting and nice in itself, for some reason.
I probably just take this board too seriously.

>>10306433
As much as i love rabbits kuma kumyas are so much cuter

>work environment I’m in became toxic as fuck
>3 weeks until ALA
>6 months until AX

>>10306295
Congrats!

>>10306434
I shared that feel 6 years ago.

>>10306433

I find kumya kumya cuter but usakumya is white and goes with my style better. Sold all of my kumyas recently to pay for unexpected bills and plan to buy me a cute usakumya if I can find one in my desired colorway

>>10306433
Nekokumya is king of them all

>>10305967
I got a few lowball requests for dresses in the sweet category. Honestly it didn't bother me too much anymore as I just don't dignify it with a response. The most offensive part is it's usually on already deeply discounted items I'm selling.

>>10306427
Cotton + get a steamer!

>>10306296
Same here. I was trying to get rid of some unpopular nonprint ETC pieces for really cheap, but everyone who messaged me tried to get me to lower the prices even further AND add free shipping. Shipping to their location would’ve cost me as much as they were offering to pay for the dresses, which they would’ve known if they read my description. I ended up donating the dresses to the local charity store.

>>10306203
Take 2 allergy tablets and have a nap, you will feel better, they were the first ssri's but patents expired so it would havecbeen no longer lucrative to market them as antidepressants, they have virtually no side effects and you can buy them over the counter. First time i took a piriton (chlorphenamyne maleate-spelling?) I felt ooh this is like a valium but not as dirty. I suppose you could medicate with them til you are over the hump. Sorry Anon.

>>10306433
I hate bears so I prefer Usa. At least I can kind of dig the idea that an ugly bear aspires to be a cute bunny.

>>10306617

Honestly I really love the irony of someone who hates bears liking a self-hating bear that wants to reinvent itself more than if usakumya was just a bunny to begin with. That made my day anon.

>>10306607
>I felt ooh this is like a valium
So abuse over the counter meds to feel high? They should be getting help

>>10306668

This is why prescription drug addiction is a problem in our country. People trying to self diagnose and self medicate. I am depressed want to die anon and I've asked counselors about medication before but multiple professionals have told me most of my problems are trauma induced and medication would only serve to treat symptoms or cause adverse side effects. There are limited to no treatment options for my condition outside of emdr which usually works better for acute PTSD patients and not as well on c-PTSD and that requires being able to afford office visits to do and finding a professional who is qualified or trained in it. And then I have some depression and anxiety tacked onto all that that are kind of all just a part of the c-PTSD stuff and grief because of how much death and broken family relationships because of dangerous relatives that make me actually fear for my life are balled up into my situation.

I don't think cold medicine will do any more for me than a street drug would desu considering the root cause of my hopelessness is something that will never really go away even if I manage to treat the PTSD aspect and not have panic attacks or other emotional episodes in response to triggers.

>>10306703
Nayrt, their response may have been extra dumb but it is founded in some truth. Hydroxyzine is essentially benadryl but is used to treat some people with anxiety. It isn't going to help with your depression, but when out of hydroxyzine I will take a benadryl if my anxiety is high for some small relief (not two or three to larp as an addict) and anon is retarded to think it would help any more than that. And the whole bit they said about no side effects is also retarded, both medications can be very drying for your nasal cavities and lead to some ear, nose, and throat problems and while they arent habit forming you can build up tolerances. Here's hoping that anon succumbs to their stupidity soon.

But more to the point I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now, I know it's hard to wanna fight through and keep going when it feels like all options are exhausted, but I hope the new year gives you some respite. Reach out to loved ones if you are able, seek some professional help (there are affordable options through private organizations, public services, and churches) and hang in there bud.

>tfw love is illegal when it makes roasties upset

>>10306714

I'm sure this is just bait or a low quality post but what love is illegal? (Beyond the wrongful criminalization of homosexuality in some places or the rightful restriction/banning of incest in decent places)

>>10306717
Love between a man and a girl.

>>10306717
>>10306734
Oh and incest is love too.

>>10306734

Oh, you mean pedophilia, which is child abuse, indicative of the opposite of loving a child, and a mental disorder that should be bred out of the human gene pool if genetic or otherwise eliminated by society through treatment since people who think it is okay are clearly either in denial or mentally ill.

Thanks for clarifying, anon.

>>10306738
Have children, femcel.

>>10306739

Having a child and loving that child is not illegal. Fucking them is, incel.

>>10306288
nayrt but that doesn't work sometimes. i've been on literally all of them before and nothing works. anon should look into tms or electroshock if they're desperate enough.

>>10306734
by "love" you mean "wanting to fuck a child"? because normal men want that to stay illegal too.

>>10306738
>>10306780
When will you learn to ignore the pedo?

>>10306780
It's natural and normal and beautiful.

Stop being a hateful bigot.

>>10306662
It's kinda admirable, you know?

>>10306711
I took a benadryl once and remember thinking it would make a good anxiety med, shortly before I was knocked out cold by its sleep-inducing effects.

>>10306738
Incels from /r9k/ are derailing the threads. Just ignore and report

>>10306703
Someone close to me has PTSD and they’re on anti depressants and Xanax legally prescribed and attend therapy weekly. There are ways to get help. Please don’t end your life. Journaling feelings every day and reading self help books are good starts. I recommend the Upward Spiral

>>10306836

It's been at least a week or two at this point. I wonder if this is some sort of unofficial raid (since call for raids are supposed to be against global rules) or just a handful/one guy who is pretty much

>got girls to call me a stupid scrote on 4chan
>sure they find me disgusting and don't care about my opinions but they talked to me hehe
>see ya later virgins

>>10306711
>Nayrt, their response may have been extra dumb but it is founded in some truth
I’d rather anon get help than get addicted to over the counter meds. If that stuff is in anxiety medicine then they need to be taking actual medicine to help them
>>10306703
Reread your reply and as for your family, find some close friends and move out. If you could leave a throwaway email, we can discuss if you’re in an area close to my friends who can help too. If your counselors and therapists are denying you help or saying they cant help then you need to go to a different city or state even

>>10306843
It could be just one guy disconnecting his router to reset his IP address and get himself unbanned. I’ve reported the replies several times and they’ve been banned

>>10306843
It might be being organized (a term used loosely lol) on 4ch discord servers. I'd been in some comfy ones that were slowly getting overtaken by incels. /cgl/ has a rep as one of the few boards with actual girls

>>10306854
Considering a lot of 4chinners use Discord over Facebook outside /cgl/ I wouldn’t doubt it. Theres raids happening in Facebook groups like this too and they’re posting gore as admins because some guy was somehow given access to being an admin and they booted other admins and mods

>>10306858
That's so disgusting. Guys on 4chan aren't helping themselves not look like like mentally unstable creeps when they do or allow or encourage others to do this kinda shit. I know not every user is responsible for some shitty behavior but still.

>>10306714
>>10306734
>>10306739
>>10306791
go and stay go, pedo poster

>>10306717
>>10306738
>>10306740
Stop eating bait.

>>10306843
>>10306851
This. There is at least one guy that has been ban evading and making incredibly creepy comments for the last year. You can always tell it's him because when you call him on this shit he will always refer to you as an 'angry roastie' because they're incapable of coming up with something more creative or clever.

>>10306861
They wonder why they never get laid either and It’s truly pathetic

>>10306871
All i want is a little girl wife.

If you have a problem with this then you're the problem.

How do I ask out my con crush without seeming clingy?

>tfw man
>tfw C-PTSD addled faggot from women fucking me as a kid
I legitimately wish I had not survived

>>10306528
Do what my mom did, get a new job

>>10306738
I heard recently, that pedophilia might be caused to do an overproduction of hormones, which are triggering nursing habits

my cat's a dumbass

>>10305843
All the time man

I love my grandma so damn much. 5 days ago I wore Classical Doll when I visited her (it's the only really classic item I own, since I wear mostly gothic and old school) and she complimented and loved it. I just casually mentioned I don't have a matching hat or gloves yet and today she secretly slipped me $50 to buy them. I just....!!!

>>10306891
You can't

>>10307023
My cat is dead

>>10307033
Your grandma sounds really cute.
Spend as much time with her as you can and treasure it!

>>10307035
Sounds like you should get a new one.

>>10307033
My grandma is super traditional and sometimes harsh but when I first wore lolita in front of her she loved it

>>10307046
I've never had a pet but I've been contemplating getting a cat for a long time because I really like them. Give me pros and cons.

>>10307055
Pros: cute
Don't have to walk them
Fun to play with them
Sleep for 16 hours a day
Super cute

Cons: good food is a tad expensive
Scooping litter every day
Trimming their nails can be a little stressful
Depending on the background of the cat they can be slow to socialize, harder to bond unless you raise from a kitten
Kittens are assholes

>>10307010

Nursing?

>>10307062
How is that the only thing you question from that cluster fuck of a post?

>>10305843
My con crush is a stoner. I like weed, but goddamn, people who consider it a hobby tend to be total retards. Should I pursue regardless?

>>10307107

I just have no context for what nursing means besides a woman feeding a baby

Pedophilia is disgusting and the cause doesn't change that so whether or not it's true that excess hormones are the reason means nothing and they should still be treated with whatever means are necessary whether that is therapy or voluntary sterilization (or forced for serious offenders who have actually hurt children)

>>10307112
if they consider it a hobby and you find it lame, why do you like them? I smoke all the time, but usually I'm doing other things while smoking, I would also find someone who treated weed like a personality trait to be annoying.

>tfw my friend's big-booty little sister is going to dress up as slutty Elsa

i think I am finally seeing results in curbing my shopping addiction. Found something I got really hyped about but didn't NEED, was able to not buy it right away, slept on it, and now I have no desire to buy it. just saved myself 400$. feels good.

>>10307139
im starting to think the person posting things about how much of a slut their friend's little sister is, is the same person spamming samus ass threads

Just woke up from a dream that I had my DD in all three cuts. I want to CRY
Also my secret Santa’s received my gift days ago but they haven’t posted in the thread but posted on insta, and i only received one card with one sentence.
Sigh.

>>10307023
mine is just an ass. He hides in corners and behind doors in order to jump out and fuck with the other cat in the house that belongs to my roommate. I've called him an asshole so many times now that he thinks it's his name.

>>10307224

Did you get grinched or did they just not go all out the way you did?

>>10307151
Well done anon, keep it up!

>>10307221
He's lucky. All my friend's little sister does is Fortnight dance and scream about Pewdiepie.

>>10307258

Nayrt but your little sister sounds like a based zoomer meme queen. I wish mine was like that instead of a wannabe instathot twerking online. Or at least if not into memes into lolita or something besides hood rat shit.

>>10307232
The one card I received was extremely low effort and underwhelming, and I haven't received the other 2 cards and 2 gifts I signed up for. I know theres one more week til christmas, I'm just being a bit impatient.

I was feeling bummed out about being told by my crush he just wants to continue being good friends (along with some general holiday depression) and then got a surprise Christmas gift in the mail from a friend of mine who moved away a couple years ago and it really made me smile cause I'm a dork and even though the gift is totally impractical and stuff I appreciate that it was packed with items he knew I'd like...it feels good having friends who know you well enough to get you things you'll like. I'll get over the lovey dovey romance stuff not working out but good friends who care and think about me are invaluable and I'm so happy and appreciative...

>>10307279
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie

>>10307334

Sad when a copypasta is unironically accurate for people I know

Do you guys ever feel like your mutuals don’t give a single fuck about you?

I have all these mutuals who complain about not getting enough likes so now I make sure to like everything they post and sometimes I’ll leave comments because I want to show support and give them a self esteem boost. And when they post costests in their stories, I’ll dm them something nice about it. But it’s like 99% of these mutuals never show me the same kind of support in return. I love cosplay but it’s feeling emotionally draining when I give so much energy to support “friends” who apparently only care about me when I’m giving them some form of validation

>>10305843
I feel like my tastes are too eclectic. I love elegant, I love cute, I love gothic and classic, I love sweet and pastels, I love old school. I have a number of dresses in my wardrobe that only go with one pair of socks and one headwear because I can't stick to a few colours either.
Sometimes I feel like I should just streamline and focus but I can't help myself. I want it all. I love it all.

I am trying to plan a small Christmas/New Years meetup with a few lolitas I know. And again and again I hear the same: "Let's have a jsf meetup, not a lolita meetup, because we do not have lolita coat/boots!"

Now, I'm not talking newbies or teeenagers who have no money, these women are in lolita for years and are in their 20/30s. Why would you want to attend meetups for people who wear this specific fashion and yet don't buy actual weather appropriate clothes in this fashion?

I bought my only lolita coat and boots years ago, and it might not be the best decision financially, as I wear them only 3-4 times a year. But at least I am now prepared to wear lolita all year round without whining on how normie coat won't fit a petticoat.

I have absolutely no way to say anything to these girls without sounding mean and I don't want any conflict in a group. But this really grinds my gears. This and "Can we have a meetup without petticoats? It's too hot/cold/I don't like them!".

>>10307348
I'm the same exact way, anon. I've spent so much money on lolita that you'd think I'd have a large, wearable wardrobe at this point but I actually can't because all of my pieces are so mismatched in style, it's not "cohesive" at all. So I just stick to the same one or two coords per dress, and it takes a lot longer for me to be able to wear some of my main pieces since I literally have to buy or make the rest of the outfit to go with it. But at the same time, I don't want to stick to just one style or color. Because like you said, I love it all.
On a bit of an offside, I dislike when people look down on us for not being able to "commit" to a single style. I mean, yeah it's cool when you see someone who is really devoted to just one substyle, but I don't see why we need to limit ourselves if we want to wear more than that.

>>10307349
I don't get this, solely because a coat can make a gorgeous coord on its own and even act as a main piece. There are so many lovely brand coats, why wouldn't you want one?

so gulls i never get to really treat myself, been through a lot and have depression etc. today i got a haircut with bday $ after almost a year of no upkeep. i was feeling okay with it. i told my friend and they asked to see it so i sent them a snap of the length of layers and my curtain bangs. i was wearing a mori-esque jacket i thrifted.

they said i looked snooty because my head was held high. :( this person has been a friend since we were kids but we’ve had our disagreements and they have bpd. this isn’t the first time they’ve called me snooty either. but it sucks because they look down on people and get jealous of coworkers. they do costuming/cosplay and art but i’m also an artist. people say i could make 100s of 1000s of dollars with my art. lately i’ve been feeling like they have been putting me down for years for their self interest maybe.. :(

>>10307357
Because 'hurr durr it's too expensive' and brands do not make all the sizes possible (it's not expensive to buy a shitton of crap on aliexpress and squeezing into chinese 'one size' is totally possible because it's cheap).

I have learned all their excuses by now.

>>10307361
Wtf that's so stupid. I picked up two beautiful Baby coats for like 60 bucks each off closetchild.
I guess I can see how sizing would be an issue but they're decently generous.

>>10307360
> lately i’ve been feeling like they have been putting me down for years for their self interest maybe.. :(

That’s what people with bpd do. The worst most evil abusive person I’ve ever known had bpd and they used it as an excuse to continue abusing people for years. The best thing I ever did was cut them out of my life. And even that was hard to do because they stalked me and some friends for years afterward.

I’ve only met one person with bpd who genuinely cared and is tried to get better, but that seems pretty rare among people with bpd. Honestly it might be in your best interest to begin distancing yourself from them. That person having a mental illness does not give them an excuse to tear apart your mental health. Stay safe anon

>tfw all women are whores
>tfw love is illegal

>>10307385
That feel when

>>10307369
I agree this person will only continue to do this, you should take more care of yourself and that means being careful who you're friends with.

>>10307360
Stop being friends with them because friends don’t and shouldn’t put each other down. Just because they have a mental illness doesn’t mean they can or should use it as a reason to be shitty to you

>>10307349
Most of them probably only wear lolita a couple of times a year as more of a costume than a fashion so a lolita coat is too big of a commitment. I don’t wear full on lolita as often as I used to but bought an AatP coat that goes with my everyday more vintage-inspired wardrobe as well, so it was a great investment. However if someone’s lolita style is ott glitter pastel vomit and they only wear plain jeans and hoodies otherwise, a coat that clashes with 99% of their wardrobe and can only be worn like once a year will seem like a waste of money.

>>10307415
I don't wear lolita everyday too, as I mentioned in my post, yet I invested in a coat or boots.

>>a coat that clashes with 99% of their wardrobe and can only be worn like once a year will seem like a waste of money.

If you use this logic, isn't lolita/cosplay/any j-fashion a waste of money in itself? Hobbies are expensive, who would have thought. Why a lolita dress that you wear couple of times a year is less of a waste of money than a coat?

I could sorta understand this reasoning if they were more humble about it, but my pet peeve is people wanting to go to meetups with a certain dresscode but expecting people to change dresscode because they are too frugal to buy things fitting a dresscode AND weather.

If I were in similar situation I would either don't go to meetups or thrift myself a flared coat that accomodates petti and some passable normie boots. It wouldn't look good, but it'd work for the weather. I mean, you can always find a way, it's this sense of entitlement that bugs me.

>>10307349
Oof, related and somewhat opposite feels: I have a lolita wool coat, but it's not even close to being warm enough for the winters where I live (north euro). The only coat I can think of that would be suitable is baroque's down filled coats, and those aren't the easiest to come across

>>10307046
Yeah, problem is, my mom isn't ready for a new one (yet)
And I'm more or less planning to move out next year

>>10307048
Considering she is traditional, I can see why she liked you in lolita

>>10307060
>trimming the nails of cats
Why

>>10307334
My sister is born after 1993, and she can cook (too bad she is a vegan since a few years)

>>10307438
Shes korean so imagine korean traditional. More hardcore than other grandmas

>>10307221
Its also probably the same creep who keeps posting about their little sisters in “slutty cosplays” and that they dont know what to do

>>10307444

So it is some faggot larping the plot of Oreimo but even more degenerate?

I want it but...I shouldn't

>>10307334
You would think that if all the women you hang out with are pickmes, lib fems and failed cam girls.

>>10307443
This, is kinda "different" than, I guess
By the way, I was watching the olympic wintergames in southkorea with my grandma a few years ago
She said she liked the traditional (I guess it was some traditional) garment the women were wearing there

>>10307486

It's a just a stupid meme, anon.

I wish I had a lolita friend in my city. I have lots of wonderful lolita friends, but they're far away. I just want someone to go to pretty cafes and museums with.

>>10307360
And did you wear the snooty look well? "You look snooty in this picture" is not an insult. "You're an arrogant asshole" would be an insult. Also, "people say I could make 100s of 1000s of dollars with my art, so I feel like this friend of mine who also does art insults me in an effort to suppress my art because they think of me as competition" sounds both absurd and like something someone with BPD would say. I'm not accusing you because I don't know you, but it might be a good point to reflect on.

>>10307369
>I’ve only met one person with bpd who genuinely cared and is tried to get better, but that seems pretty rare among people with bpd.
I've only known one who strove to be better as well. He's good people, but he agonises over all of his friendships. I introduced him to my Stoic philosophy in an effort to help him. We haven't talked in a long time, though. He might think I'm mad at him or something.

>>10307336
That sucks that they can't be bothered to send a nice message your way. It seems like they take you for granted and don't care to do the same to others.

>>10307492
I'm sorry. I'm not a very meme savvy person.

I feel like I'm in a position where I'm happy with my wardrobe. It's small and kind of weird looking to another person, I'm sure. But I don't feel compelled to buy more so I'll be a "Real Lolita" Feels like I'm finally breaking out of my imposter syndrome. At least in regards to this fucking lace and ribbon collection hobby. There's more stuff I'd love to get, but It's not a Life-or-Death Must-Have feeling anymore. I feel like i can wear the clothes i have and style them well enough that I can be a passable lolita. I'm fat (still working on it) and not very pretty but I'm finally There. It feels really good!

>>10307336
They don't want friendship, they want followers. Social media is cancer.

>>10307360
That is not very nice of them. Even if your "friend" truly thought you looked snooty, they could have just kept that to themselves and focused on your hair like they should have. Maybe they don't understand they could be a little bit more considerate? Anyway, intentional or not, it's not cool to be treated like that by someone you considered a friend and it's understandable you feel hurt.

As for bpd, I too am familiar with it as my former best friend also had bpd. It's difficult to understand them at a lot of times. At some point my relationship with her started to get difficult cause of her behavior, I tried to be as understanding, tolerant and sympathetic as possible but there is only so much shit you can take iyswim. It literally drove me into a depression, so at some point I cut ties and that drastically improved my life. In the end, it is your life. You need to do what works for you, and if this relationship has turned toxic it needs rethinking.

Been spending so much on lolita clothes during the fall semester because I barely had any free time and was so stressed about work and even now on the holiday break, I’m too tired to be arsed to wear anything I bought.

>>10307578
Congratulations! That's a good milestone to reach.

>>10307502
What city? I don't have friends nearby either

>>10305843
I don't usually feel disgusted with my wardrobe, but when I feel too ugly and fat for lolita, I just can't look at it. One day a friend of mine posted a picture of me that he took at a party. I was wearing one of my favorite dresses and I was fugly. It's as if lolita is the fantasy that I can be cute and pretty, but every time I have these moments I realize I'm probably wasting my money.

>>10307438
>>trimming the nails of cats
>Why

Because then they can't damage as much when scratching and they won't get caught in things.
My cat is totally fine with it because he's used to being held.

>>10307491
Hanboks are much cuter than kimonos imo she got taste

>>10307691
Neither do I.
>inb4 we all live in the same city and that's why there's no comm. All the lolitas think they're the only one.

I’m coming to realize I dislike the vast majority of lolita coords posted to coord sharing platforms and I’m not sure if this means that I’m growing out of lolita or if all those coords are just shit.

>>10307850
Don’t let it be discouraging. Let it make you passionate to become the cute, pretty lolita you want to be.

>>10307438
Because when they knead you with claws out, they don't get stuck in delicate fabric as easily or puncture holes in your skin

>>10307915
Most lolita coords look bad. Because of how flashy the style is, it has to be executed almost perfectly to look good instead of ridiculous.

It's also fine to acknowledge you don't like all lolita. Personally, I think even well-executed OTT coords look stupid, and I'd honestly prefer if that style of dress wasn't associated with what I wear (primarily gothic and solids), because it feels like they have very little in common aesthetically. Lolita is broad, and just because you like one aspect of the style doesn't mean you have to like all of it.

>dejapan didn’t place either of my sniper bids. i watched both auctions and although my bid was highest it never got placed
>someone else bought a dress i was planning on buying on closer child before i got distracted by the bid failure

well this is upsetting

>>10307856
>>10307928
Makes sense, but it still sounds cruel to me

>>10308012
Completely pulling them out is cruel, trimming isn't that bad if you do it right and they grow back anyway.

>>10308012

Filing is usually considered better than trimming and you can give them scratching posts and things that naturally file their claws to be less pointy without cutting them (which might still leave an edge to scratch stuff up like fabric anyway). Declawing is the inhumane and cruel thing people do to cats' claws. Filing is fine and trimming is as well as long as you are careful not to cut beyond the right area of the nail.

>>10308020
>Filing is better
Both are fine and have the same results if you aren’t an idiot. The difference is negligible since cats nails don’t work like people nails—they shed outer layers of their nail. Filing and trimming both have the exact same results physically and trimming can be cause less stress for the cat since it’s quicker.

Also if any anons are looking for alternatives, those little claw caps work pretty well too.

Source: I have a polydactyl cat who needs claw management for health reasons...

I hate horizonal and candy-cane striped socks in lolita coords. It always massively cheapens the look.

>>10305843
I'm seeing my con crush tomorrow. How do I make her a cosplay gf?

My last cosplay gf broke up with me because I have type 1 diabeetus.

this is so mean but when i see pics on social media of all the different lolitas coords out there in the world.... i really, really wish they would cover their faces. some people just do not look good in this fashion to the point where it makes me feel weird. or at the very least id wish theyd learn to wear makeup and wigs that flatter their faces but lord some people are ugly

Feeling pretty down because of all the misogyny I see coming after Rowling's anti-trans tweet. I miss the better times when we could call out fakebois and sissies in jfash communities.

>>10308111
I've known JKR was a TERF dipshit forever. No news here.

>>10308071
The horizontal ones are a staple of old school. But otherwise, yeah

>>10308114
You mean someone with common sense

>>10308116
jkr is most certainly not someone with fucking common sense anon. even if she is anti-trans.

>>10308114
"Wah waaah terfs" Are you going to start whining about how lesbians don't want your penis now?

>>10308116
I’m sorry i can’t stop laughing at this. Thanks for the chuckle

>>10308125
I don't have one so probably not.

>Wahhh TERFs
>Wahhh trans people
Okay we checked the box. Moving on

>>10308097
Why she do that?

>>10305843
My comm leader has to miss tea tomorrow because she slammed her clit in a drawer. Should I step up and guide the group?

Is it weird that I regret about every lolita piece I ever sold?

>>10308218

Maybe. I've always been happy to have sold my pieces and have money gor emergencies or things I like b>>10308218
etter.

>>10308136
yeah, I don't care what people's views are, how they choose to dress, but going out of your way to try to harrass eachother is pants on head retarded. let people live and lets get back to feels.

>>10308212
this dude posts like cgl fed a bot 12 threads worth of content and is now reaping the reward

>>10308212
Bring cupcakes and they will have to make you leader.

>>10308244
I thought it was doughnuts

>>10308266
That's only on butt inspection day.

>>10308232
I masturbate to pictures of cartoon lolis because adult women are unattractive and yucky.

>>10308310
cool, as long as no one gets hurt I dont give a shit if you make out with a ferris wheel or something.

>>10308311
Cool. I want to stick my DICK inside a loli and CUM INSIDE her!

>>10308310
date one of these flat chested lolitas around here, they look like middle school girls

>>10308317
Not a lot of girls have the features of a loli though.

If they're short, they're usually wide too.
If they're flat, they're usually too tall
Or they're asian

It sucks because i can't generate an attraction to most girls. There's only a handful of cases where I've met a girl the right proportions and I tend to give my all and try and make it work.

i hate those image dumpers who comment on every. fucking. image. they post. no one gives a shit about your cringy opinions.

What are your jobs, gulls?

I'm working at a nonprofit with at-risk kids and while I love it and the pay is alright, I wish I had more time to engage in my hobbies.

>>10308313
nice shitpost

>>10308355
I want a gf to dress up like Mathilda at cons and call me Leon.

>>10308354
I sell meth pipes whilst wearing full force J-fashion at a head shop owned by a family of Muslims. Absolutely nothing in my life makes sense anymore.

>>10308354
I sell meth pipes whilst wearing full force J-fashion at a head shop owned by a Muslim family. Previously, I cleaned the bone removal room of a meat factory. Nothing in my life makes sense anymore.

>tfw no white bf to cosplay with

>Been into lolita for a few years
>Normally quite nervous when wearing it but feel cute and happy
>This year finally get the courage to join the local comm
>Go to a few meets - everyone is super sweet and nice
>Suddenly have to move to the other side of the country due to job

I feel so sad, I just started making frilly friends and now I'm worried theyre going to forget about me.

>>10308218
sounds like an addiction, learn to let go anon

>>10307967
I'm sorry anon. I've been losing all the auctions I've been following lately too.

>>10308354

I also work at a nonprofit that helps children (education based though). I love my job and it pays well despite how low of a level employee I am. Hopefully I get promoted to a full time employee so I can do more to contribute and have extra money to play around with lolita.

>>10308440

Same. It's sad cause if there was a BIN for what the final price ended up being I'd have purchased right away and the seller would have gotten cash immediately instead of waiting for the auction.

>Wanted to go to Anime Boston
>Realized that it's 12 hour drive
Ah... Do I still go? Maybe just one day? I guess it can't be helped.

>>10305843
My 14-year-old friend has a crush on my 30-year-old big brother. What the hecy do I do?

>>10308623
Let him smash. It's rare to get an opportunity at prime cunny, and your friend will get to feel happy that she's with someone cooler than boys her age.

I have about 5 internet bf right now. I'm gonna make them fly out to see me and not show up.

>>10308623
Let her seduce him then report it to the police

>>10308663
> Hey, this is Nev from the MTV show Catfish. Do you have a minute?

>own dozens of beautiful lolita dresses and accessories
>literally never wear them because i'm a friendless/boyfriendless hermit who doesn't go anywhere besides work
>continues to buy more shit anyway

>>10308925
Honestly same. I find it better to own no more that around 15 dresses max in that instance and try and think of places where you can walk around and hang out on your own.

>>10308925
> implying you cant wear it at home
> implying you need a special place to go or other people to impress in order to wear it

these types of posts always come off as super larpy. why would anyone spend this much money on clothes they're too chickenshit to even wear around their home by themselves?

>>10308925
There’s nothing wrong with hoarding them, but why not go to the odd convention or something to wear them? I never wear mine at home bc they’re not as comfy as a nightgown and robe.

>Raines is selling a dress I want
>I'm not buying from a scalper so I PM her for lolibrary info or the name of the dress bc she doesn't list a real title for the item
>never get a response and can't find any similar dresses on lolibrary or Google cause I'm shit at searching I guess
>item gets bought and Raines will probably never answer my question on name or source now that the item is sold
>glad I didn't buy from scalper but have no lead on where else to find the dress rip

>>10308956
Honestly, it always strikes me more as larping when people talk like getting fully dressed up just to be alone in your house is perfectly normal. I wish I found it rewarding to dress just for myself, but it's so much easier for my depressed ass to not.

>>10308925
>It's another "look at me I'm a lonely woman" post in hopes some desperate guy will give praise.
Begone incel.

>>10309004

At least I know it's not just me bc someone publicly asked for a lolibrary link in a comment and also got no response. Sellers ignoring comments or PMs strikes me as a red flag anyway I guess.

>>10309004
>not posting a photo of the dress taken from the sales listing to /cgl for gulls to help with identification
????

>>10309013

You know what anon I'm actually fucking retarded thanks for the suggestion.

I just always am a person that tries to do things on my own and not bug people for unimportant stuff and don't think about asking for help often.

>>10308956
>why would anyone
well in my case, i am hoping to one day not be so mentally ill and actually have healthy enough relationships with other people to have a reason to go out and look nice. i don't do much at home, just stay in bed mostly, so...

>>10308949
>>10308959
i'd like to try wearing a coord to a park or something one of these days. somewhere not too crowded.

>>10309011
wha? praise for what?

>>10309007
So you just sit around in your pajamas all day unless you're going to work? Nice, how many spoons did you waste typing that out.

>>10309029
If you're too inept to even put on clothes but manage to spend hundreds of dollars on them just sell them to people who care and pay for some therapy.

>>10309029
You sounded completely retarded

>>10309064
>>10309065
it's called depression, but gee thanks.

>>10309066
I’ve been seeing a shrink and taking antidepressants for five years, and in all that time I’ve still managed to function like a normal human being. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

>>10309069
that's nice that those things work for you. they didn't work for me. currently waiting to try tms. have you ever considered having empathy for other people?

>>10309064
t. angry poorfag

>>10309064
Will this "Lolita is communal property" attitude ever end?

>>10309081
I dont mean sell them because I feel entitled to their dresses, I mean legitimately do something to help themselves like stop wasting money in shit they dont use as cope for a bigger issue and pay for therapy instead of sitting around on a Chinese cartoon image board moping about things they can change but ok.

>>10309082
Once someone buys a dress, they can do whatever they want with it. Whether that's wearing it, keeping it in a closet, or cutting it into pieces. It's theirs and if they can afford it, who cares.

>>10305843
I feel bad. I skipped a meet on Saturday because my gynecologist committed suicide.

>>10309070
>>10309076
>>10309084
You're right we should encourage this behavior, buying expensive things they dont use as cope instead of using that money to actually help themself get better is perfectly reasonable. Better post on an anonymous message board about it and call people entitled and angry for not giving the proper empathetic response.
I never said they couldn't do this, by all means hoard as many expensive bandaids as one needs, but I thought maybe mental health should take precedent over buying things they dont wear. Do they want to get better when they have the means to or just make people feel sorry for them?

>>10309091
They never said that they do it to cope. You are projecting.

>>10309091
Nice

>>10309091
>this level of concern trolling

>>10309091
I'm pretty sure the anon you were talking to originally is seeing a therapist and is one of those who doesn't respond well to anti-depressant. I don't think it's the situation where they can't afford therapy because they're buying dresses.

>>10309069
That shrink hasn't helped with your empathy problem.

>>10309098
These threads are robot spillover anyway and dont belong here, why treat it as anything more than that

>>10309093
As if shopping isn't a popular way for depressed people to get their dopamine rush.

>>10309100
There's a difference between empathy and enabling.
Treating legit mental illnesses as so relatable xDD was a mistake.

>>10309086
Me on the left.

>>10309081
>>10309084
No. People will judge you for your bad decisions whenever they want. It's their opinion and they won't change it no matter how much you whine or threaten to burn your wardrobe. Cope already property-chan or just walk away from the screen.

>>10309029
>i am hoping to one day not be so mentally ill
God just put the damn dress/blouse/skirt on, literally just move your arms and put it on you walnut. You are less a lolita than an actual cosplayer by your description, let that sink in. And you will never improve your situation if you just sit at home and wish you're one day ready to wear one of those dresses you spent thousands of dollars on. How do you think you even get to the point of having healthy relationships with other people without forcing yourself to get out? Hell, lolita is a A+ way to do that, since all kinds of people automatically approach you but you're just letting those chances and moments pass. Even the best medication and therapy doesn't help if you yourself don't take action.

>>10309110
Or YOU could cope with the fact that you are too poor to buy the dresses new and have to desperately wait around for secondhand listings. The jealousy and entitlement here is astounding.

>>10309113
Oh boy someone seems upset. Stop projecting, I buy whatever I want and can actually wear it without having to go the extra mile to modify :^) And I'm also not the one larping and swearing "w-when I'm rich...!".

>>10309115
You are the only one projecting here. And trolling, most likely.

>>10309117
>n-no u!
At least you aren't outright denying it.

Attention all sadfags itt;

Exercise daily. It's hard at first, but it gets easier, you just have to force yourself to do it everyday.

Limit the time you spend online. Don't use the computer or phone as soon as you wake up, go for a walk or have breakfast in peace.

Have some probiotics. A weak gur biodome is linked with depression. Buy it in supplement form or through food, but make danm sure it's not pasteurized or it will be useless. It should be labled as "raw".

>>10309122
One more thing. It's fine if you don't have time for a full workout, just a little cardio is fine. Try doing as many jumping jacks as you can until you're out of breath and that's plenty. Also, get on a consistent sleep schedule.

>>10309124
>Also, get on a consistent sleep schedule.
Lol oops

>>10309100
I have empathy, but the anon is question is being pathetic. The world doesn’t owe you shit just because you’re sick. It sucks and it’s not fair but life isn’t fucking fair. Build a bridge and figure out how to move in with your life. Support is obviously important and I’m not saying it isn’t but you can’t just sit around and wait for things to get better, you have to man up and just live your life. Wallowing is pathetic.

>>10309122
I use my phone as soon as I get up and before I go to bed and I'm not depressed. Is that not normal? Huh.

>>10309029
Parks are good to hang out and relax in lolita, just try to find ones without playgrounds or other normie bait. Grab a snack and chill

>>10309126
>I have empathy
Lol @ you thinking this is empathy. Yikes. You really are sick.

>>10309131
I said I have empathy. I didn’t say I had any for this person.

>>10309127
Me too, listening to spotify and checking cgl or CoF for a while is a great way to get ready to go out in EGL.

>>10309127
Not everyone is the same, but ya using interwebs as soon as you wake up has been linked to poor mental health, the way you start out your day is important.

>>10309127
If you aren't depressed it's not an issue, same as how not everyone that eats like shit and doesn't exercise is depressed.

>interested in lolita for years
>decide to finally buy some clothing and go to meets
>spent a few hundred dollars
>went to 2 or 3 meets
>made friends
>not even a year later, i've kinda lost interest in it
Meets are nothing but drama. I guess all the stress it caused me just made my completely lose interest. oh well.

>>10309160
You don't have to go to meets to wear the clothing. I have never done so, stayed out of drama, and enjoyed my pretty clothing. It's possible.

>>10306891
do it bluntly

>>10309115
youre the angry poorfag from the lolita general arent you

It never ceases to amuse me how often I see cosplayers fighting over petty things.
A friend of mine and her cosplay partner stopped talking because he didn't attend an event she invited him to. He said no beforehand (he wouldn't be able to go for some reason).

IMO it's insane how they could be friends for over a year and then they stop talking over such a trivial issue.

I've seen big fights arise from simple miscommunication between the involved parties, and they would not have happened if they had more patience or chose friendlier words.

Why so much drama.

>>10309165
no, I'm neither angry nor poor

>>10309169
if youre neither angry or poor why are you ranting about others spending money?

>>10309171
I don't.

Every year I want to do a wardrobe tour video, but I can never find the time and energy to do it. I'm afraid of not being able to show the details of all my dresses and accessories. I really want to do them justice and I want to create a visual record of what I have.

I rarely wear lolita out because I hate applying makeup and look ugly without it. I wear it around the house though.

>>10309161
It's such a weird concept to me that you have to go to meets to wear lolita. Most of my closet is lolita. It's just daily clothes to me.

>>10309127
The advice is for depressed people, not people like you.
You do seem a wee bit defensive about your phone habits though.

>>10309190
I wear lolita around the house with my nappy on underneath

I fucking hate trannies,i fucking hate how they invaded our comms and have such power on social media etc. Especially TiMs.
I'm so fucking tired of them, /cgl/, tired of having to live in fear of doing anything that will upset the troons and make them and their dicksucking handmaidens screech at me for being a "twanzphobic terf uwu".
They will never be a woman or know what it's like yet they insist they are and you cannot say anything. I am sick and tired. Hopefully they kill themselves more or get murdered given their high suicide/murder rate (thank fuck).
I used to tolerate them but i fucking trans peaked and now i'm fueled with hate. This community has gotten soft and now we're invdaded with fucking autogynephiles and the likes of it.

I couldn't get through the Princess Portal pics an anon posted in another thread without crying.

I try to not be *that* oldfag, but I miss those days so much. It's not like I was even a huge fan of Princess Skye or anything, I actually used to make fun of her back then. It's more the time that those pictures represent. It wasn't necessarily a better time, but it was very different and I'm sad that I can never go back.

>tfw couldn't get through the Princess Portal pics an anon posted in another thread without crying

I try to not be *that* oldfag, but I miss those days so much. It's not like I was even a huge fan of Princess Skye or anything, I actually used to make fun of her back then. It's more the time that those pictures represent. It wasn't necessarily a better time, but it was very different and I'm sad that I can never go back.

>>10309363
I fucking hate trannies too and i also hate their idiot handmaidens who constantly defend them and free them from responsiblity and consequences. I can't wait for western society to finally hit peak trans.

>>10309363
>>10309398

>>10309069
>Stop feeling sorry for yourself
>I have empathy
>but the anon is question is being pathetic
>the world doesn’t owe you shit just because you’re sick.
You sound like a sociopath

>>10309132
>I didn’t say I had any for this person.
Imagine being so sick that you think empathy is controlled

>>10309402
Not bait but ok.
We're just sick and tired of that bullshit

>>10309168
> cosplayers
> why drama

Answered your own question

>>10309168
2 of my childhood friends stopped being friends with me after I didn’t cosplay as a character from a kids show with them even though I said I had my lineup planned a year prior

>>10309091
Anon, you are not ok as you think.

>>10309405
Nayrt
The world doesn't owe you ANYTHING. So yeah, either get off your ass and do something about the depression (meds, weed, therapy), or enjoy wallowing.

>>10309161
I wear j-fashion day to day, but lolita just isn't really as fun or interesting to me alone. I got into it for the community aspect.

>>10309177
Then just start by doing one dress. If you don’t have much energy, you look at your entire wardrobe and think I don’t have it in me to tackle this whole project right now. But you don’t have to do the entire thing at once. Start small with just one dress. This also gives you the opportunity to test out filmmaking, decide what you want or don’t want the videos to look like, and develop a pattern for future videos

>>10309469
They are completely right with their point, what is it with the weird 'you're a sociopath for suggesting to focus on getting better instead of distracting yourself from your problems' replies.

>>10309473
>do something about the depression (meds, weed, therapy)
Are you serious? There isn't one psychologist in the world who would endorse WEED for depression. That does nothing except get you high. You really are a sociopath, trying to get people into (illegal almost everywhere) drugs for their serious issues. Get out.

>>10309493
probably because op literally never said they use the purchases to distract from their problems. they stated they've been to therapy and on meds before. anon here is just a cunt.

>>10309473
Weed does nothing for depression except get you high, it's as "effective" as alcohol. Psychologists actively discourage patients from using weed and also it's illegal almost everywhere too. You are a dumbass and need to stop giving "advice"

>>10309520
Sounds like you need to crack an actual medical journal or talk to an actual doctor.

>>10309525
Yeah, no. Weed is illegal almost everywhere in the world for a reason.

>>10309526
Not only do you need to crack a medical journal, you need to read up on the history of the drug war. You sound really young.

>>10309525

Weed makes anxiety worse among many people so it isn't crazy to think that weed along with other drugs can be a temporary solution that doesn't actually improve depression long term.

But potheads defend weed like it's the cure all for everything in life and often condemn other actually helpful drugs so I'm not gonna argue with you.

>>10309528
I've never actually even tried weed. I just hate untrue bullshit.

People get weird about weed in both directions. It's not a miracle substance, but it's also not destructive to most people and it has many legitimate medical applications which are borne out by peer-reviewed studies. I've grown up around a lot of doctors (medical family) and they say the same.

If a drug is an effective treatment for anxiety for 5/10 people and worsens it for 2/10 people, it's still a good thing to trial.

>>10309527
The war on drugs was an American thing, where weed ended up being legal anyway. How about all the other countries in the world? You sound like a braindead druggie.

>>10309531
Just as many peer-reviewed studies show weed causes psychosis and brain cell loss. Stop giving shit advice.

>>10309532
Again, I've literally never smoked weed in my life. The only recreational drug I've ever tried is alcohol.
Fwiw, I'm Canadian.

>>10309535
Sure, I believe you. As if any non-potheads would defend it to this degree.

>>10309533
Weed causes psychosis in the same way that certain SSRIs "cause" mania. I.e., people with a predisposition towards either can have that triggered by starting the drug.

That doesn't mean SSRIs aren't a very useful treatment for many other people. You always have to take individual brain chemistry and genetic predisp. into account when you're prescribing anything.

>>10309536
Your failure to believe in someone caring about the truth for truth's own sake is depressing, but also explains a lot about the state of the world.

>>10309538
Except SSRI are a valid, legal medication that actually help with serotonin levels and not some disgusting, brain cell killing recreational drug.

>>10309541
You know what else is used recreationally? Amphetamines.

You know what's a useful, legal drug? Oh, hang on...

>>10309540
Your "truth" is disproved by just as many medical articles as you could provide in favor. Actually most likely a lot more against it than for it, considering it's illegal. So basically, still dumbass advice to give legitimately sick people.

>>10309543
You're starting from the presupposition that the illegality is based on scientific research and not, say, moral panic or arbitrary copycat laws. However, it is in fact scientific research that's causing an increasing number of countries to legalize weed.
Alcohol is a good example of a drug that causes far more individual and social harm (and "kills brain cells", which you keep bringing up for some reason, even though breathing kills brain cells), but is legal.

>>10309541
>that bias
cry harder, other countries treat things different than they do in your backwards shithole.

>>10309531
>I've grown up around a lot of doctors (medical family) and they say the same.
I've grown up around a lot of potheads and you sound sheltered. I don't know a single person where weed actually helped and didn't made their life a tad bit more chaotic, especially with mentally ill people.

>>10309587
Anecdotal evidence does not trump actual evidence and expert opinions.

>>10309587
>>10309607
...also, most of the aforementioned doctors smoke weed.
First I'm a pothead, then I'm sheltered... ha.

Lolita is my "safe space" as much as i hate that snowflake word.
I've been through such a rough life,and i'm still going through something,but during this decade where i've basically suffered all my teenagehood and now am into early adulthood at 21,lolita was there for me. And I just cried earlier holding one of my dresses because i love it so much, i hope someone will love me this way someday and that i can pour this love onto someone again (that won't be hurting me this time)
Very emo feel,but i'm so tired and need to let it out

>>10309607
Your 'actual evidence' is shit and apparently just as disproven with real experiences other than theory.

>>10309622
Medical trials and scientific studies aren't "theory".

>>10309622
>>10309624
Also, since apparently all you'll listen to is anecdotes, the people I know who smoke weed smoke it responsibly and occasionally and have only benefitted from using it.

>package stuck in customs
>christmas eve/day coming up, doubt package will get processed at all those two days
>the earliest it could get here is thursday, by chance of a miracle
>but I leave town friday
>the package has the outfit i want to wear for an event, the one I'm leaving town for

it hurts, anons

How much do Lolita skirts usually weigh? Does it make sense for two skirts to weigh 1.5 kg?

>>10309809
Uh, no. Maybe they used a shit ton of packing material?

>>10309811
You might be right. I just emailed them asking that. Hope they're not just being sketchy.

>>10309811
You might be right. I just emailed them asking that. Hope they're not just being sketchy. It's a pretty good SS otherwise, so maybe it really was just a mistake.

tl;dr- facebook

cof makes me super sad. like only 1/3 of the coords are even passable as lolita. I know we've been over this 1000 times but the group pretty exclusively praises people for looks that don't look lolita in the slightest, maybe inspired by it but definitely not lolita. I'm not even sure what the word means to them.

like, I sometimes wonder if they stumble upon the fashion through anime thinking that it's some kind of elaborate spoiled anime girl lifestyle roleplaying, and that any old pink knee length $20 amazon JSK and an office blouse will do. just slick your greasy no-bangs hair up in ageplay style pigtails, slap some dollar general kid's accessories on and call it a lewk

the advice groups make me even sadder. it's mainly perma itas and lolitas at heart giving excited, impressionable girls advice on how to look like, well, definitely not lolita- contributing to the number of non-lolita and ita looks we see in cof all day every day.

I don't think most people instinctively have an eye for the details like visual weight, color balance, fabric and laces etc. and I think it takes time to learn how these things work, but I don't think it's hard to notice when something looks off, even if you can't pinpoint what. and so these girls come to the group for advice, and they'll get some! from beautiful, experienced and talented lolitas, then turn around and get offended because it wasn't what they wanted to hear... then the luvlies swoop in and tell them what they really wanted to hear- "as long as you like what you're wearing that's all that matters uwu,"

(...like sure, wear what you want, but please for the love of god don't call it lolita and don't post it in cof!!!)

>>10309541
I think every parent with epileptic children would fight you on this one.

>>10309826
So where's the "new group" I've seen gulls referencing that isn't full of newbs and itas? Or is it bullshit to get gulls on a wild goose chase?

>>10309829
ayrt, it was actually really nice at first but it's quickly becoming infested with them and I imagined it will likely soon be just as bad as the original

>>10309809
I think that makes sense. Whenever I ship a skirt it's about 1 lb which is around 0.5 kg. If the skirt is heavy it's more too. I usually use padded envelopes too so a big box could add up

>>10309831
Yup, we just can’t have nice things apparently

>>10309828
That has nothing to do with mental illness. Also, somehow, everyone with epilepsy in countries where that's illegal manages to survive fine. What a miracle!

>>10309829
I'm in the new group and it has just as many, if not more itas, probably in part because there's no fear of being posted to /cgl/. I wish they could just harshly enforce the rules and remove ita shit but it's hard to keep that kind of modding objective.

>>10309363
The AGP/sissies that infest our communities actually have the LOWEST murder rate of any demographic, lower even than regular men. They’re appropriating the statistics of poor street prostitutes of color to make themselves look like victims when they’re objectively not. An AGP/sissy is statistically more likely to commit murder than to be the victim of it, which worries me because my comm is full of very young naive girls who genuinely think that these men are safe to be around. Even after we’ve dealt with multiple AGP/sissies who sexually harassed and threatened violence towards comm members, including one who retaliated against being banned by spamming a thread with his disgusting sexual fantasies about girls in the comm, accusing them of pedophilia and incest. A lot of newer members aren’t aware of this history and now there are people in the comm who insist that AGP/sissies don’t even exist and that trying to protect ourselves against them is as bad as killing them. It’s literally insane and I’m really concerned for my community but can’t voice it anywhere except anonymously.

>>10309377
Same. I used to think Skye was pretty cringe but now I miss that time so much. I still follow some blogs and have one myself but it’s just not the same.

>>10309541
>>10309828
>>10309895
Op implied that cannabis isn't a legal substance with legit medical applications. Called it
>disgusting recreational drug
That kills brain cells. So no, it wasn't just about mental illness, it was a blanket statement about the perceived uselessness of weed. Probably some Chinese or Eurofag buying into their nation's anti-weed propaganda.

>tfw no lolita suicide tea party new me

>>10309533
nta but I've had multiple doctors over my life say that if the weed is helping with my condition that it's an okay thing to do instead of medications that come with a plethora of fun side effects. I'll take the brain cell loss over extreme brain damage due to seizures any day.

Weed only causes psychosis in people who already have other conditions that predispose them to psychosis, just like how someone with dormant schizophrenia can take drugs and have that come out.

it's not a miracle cure, everyone has different brain chemistry and mental health backgrounds. But if you can make something work for your needs that's not "shit advice"

>>10309895
>everyone with epilepsy in countries where that's illegal manages to survive fine
people die every day from serious seizures, even on medication.

>>10309917
the new group was made for honest concrit and to avoid sissies and agp, I don't think mods care about itas, maybe we can actually improve them with the group.

>>10309541
Fight on, sister! Don't let these druggies get to you. They're probably too high to even realize the bubble they're trapped in. You don't need drugs when you're already high on life!

Besides, did you know that weed (also known as "marijuana," [pronounced "Marry-jew-anna" as in Anne Frank because you light it on fire] which is Mexican for "rat poison!") has been shown to cause blindness in studies where they inject plant matter directly into the optic nerve of mice? Not only that, but did you know that 52% of all criminals arrested in 2010 used weed? Good people don't use weed, the numbers simply don't lie. Weed causes you to become a criminal because it lowers your IQ to the same level or lower as ethnically unique urban dwellers. Also please check out this blog post 6 pages into bing, it proves how bad weed is:
https://blog.sfgate.com/smellthetruth/2014/11/18/marijuana-kills-brain-cancer-new-study-confirms/

Not only does it kill the brain, but it also causes cancer.

Also check this out:
https://hungerforexcellence.com/screen-promiscuous-women-15-red-flags-every-man-know/

>#4 She’s a (moderate to heavy) drinker. / She does recreational drugs.

Look, even if you're not a promiscuous woman, all men see drug use as a red flag of a whore. You will be actively hurting your chances of marriage. Or worse, you may end up doing so much weed that you develop nymphomania (studies show people with high drug use are more likely to have multiple sexual partners) and ruin your womb for life.
>"And the daughter of any priest, if she profanes herself by whoring, profanes her father; she shall be burned with fire."
>Leviticus 21:9

Furthermore, it is a woman's responsibility to not cause societal collapse.

>"Their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods." God always blames the women; it is they who "go a whoring" and then "make" the men "go a whoring."
>Exodus 34:16

Don't do drugs. I D.A.R.E. you!

>>10310047
Thanks anon, I needed a laugh today

>>10310020
I am sorry

>>10308097
I have diabetes too. I hate it.

>>10305853
what colorway did you get?

I was friends with a girl that suddenly decided she would get away from me and treat me badly, spent so much time questioning if I did something wrong and came to the conclusion that I must be so boring and undeserving of friendship, but turns out she was just crazy and tough I was a bad person because of stuff she made up on her mind, the weirdest part is she truly believed in that stuff. The problem is that she hangs out with people I used to hang out with and was closer to them then I am, now I don’t have lolita friends to hang out and am feeling so lonely and again questioning if I could avoid that from happening and if I did something wrong.

>>10310047
I love you.

I feel so bad when people ask for concrit, but almost everything is wrong with their coords. I want to help at the same time I don’t want to be the one saying that they should change everything.

>be me
>in an area with an AQI that’s so high it’s well beyond the realms of the index
>home is smoky (despite best efforts to seal everything)
>work is smoky
>shops are smoky
>can’t leave home without wearing the correct mask
>I’m running out of the appropriate masks
>shops have sold out of the appropriate masks
>everyday reading about places being obliterated by fire
>hoping the little bamboo/charcoal pouches I put in my lolita cupboard are enough to prevent everything from smelling of smoke

>>10314186
Australia?

>>10309612
what are you going through?

>>10315512
Australia for sure

>>10315059
AYRT, yup I'm in Australia. We're still choking from the bushfire smoke, where I live has an AQI of over 800. For context an AQI of 250 is considered extremely hazardous. At least my region isn't burning.

the feels when you think you lost a lolita friend and in turn a group and you dont know what you did.

>>10314186
>work is smoky
you still have to go to work in those conditions?

>>10315986
It's rough and confusing to be frozen out and have no idea why. But if they won't even tell you to your face where you screwed up, then maybe they weren't the greatest friends after all.

I just spent $500 on blouses, stockings, a bag, and a better petti. It feelsbadman to spend that much money on non-mainpiece items but at least I'll be happier with my outfits in the future, r-right?

>>10316006
YES! Yes gull, you're so good. All of these blouses will give you so much joy. Try them with every main piece you have. Wear them and appreciate them. Blouses mean so much! And your new petticoat? BIG DICK ENERGY from all that volume, YES! You're going to be so happy. ALL that money is an INVESTMENT for your future! You're SO RIGHT!

>>10316001
Yeah. It's just sad because they plan a lot of meets and now I feel like I'm missing out.

>>10315997
Sadly yes :(
Got sent home because the smoke was really bad yesterday, but it’s been that bad for at least a week so why then and not the other days?