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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL


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10235214 No.10235214 [Reply] [Original] [rbt]

i’m sick of being a lonelita in my area but i‘ve been inactive long enough that i don’t know the new crowd.
>what has your comm done over the summer to stay in touch?
>does your comm have regular casual monthly meetups?
>have you ever helped revive a comm? particularly after drama or mod switches?
>how do you keep a comm active when it involves two cities?
>inb4 “just plan a meetup yourself” the problem is that the same three newbies/itas attend and older members only go if their friends do

>> No.10235221

just plan a meetup

>> No.10235482

Where did the old local comm thread go? There's no way it hit autosage

>> No.10235505

>>10235482
someone started one a couple days ago themes around some comm putting up flyers and it saged.

>> No.10235511

>>10235505
It didn't sage, it was deleted by the mods.

>> No.10235517

>>10235221
This.

>> No.10235562

>>10235511
Blame Oregon comm.

>> No.10235563
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10235563

>>10235214
op what is this picture

>> No.10235578

Best site to find local groups?

>> No.10235580

>>10235578
i’d say facebook but it seems like a lot of comms/lolita groups have made their groups private to avoid being zucc’d

>> No.10235582

>>10235482
Where they all go. Mods deleted it because people don’t know how to be vague about bitching about comm drama

>> No.10235652

>>10235580
Do cosplay groups have alot of guys?

>> No.10235664

>>10235652
Wrong thread, buddy.

>> No.10235720

>>10235578
i've heard a lot of comms are moving to discords but i don't know how new members would find them

>> No.10236720

Ok so who can caps of that shit that went down at 2am on CoF

>> No.10236844

>>10235562
Seriously? They do this every time, mass report anything about their comm. I don't know why they keep getting away with it.

>> No.10236857

>>10236844
but it wasn't even about oregon... it was az

>> No.10237039

>>10236844
So what? I think its great that they can get together as a community and prevent assholes from ruining things for no reason.

>> No.10237063 [DELETED] 

>>10236857
What’s the actual deal with the girl that got banned from the AZ comm and apparently started her own? I follow her on Instagram because I like her style but I don’t want to if she’s a genuinely shit person.

>> No.10237064

>>10237063
which one? the vegan shoplifter girl?

>> No.10237070 [DELETED] 

>>10237064
I don’t know if that’s her, but I’m on about the black girl with her posing with a gun as her insta profile picture. She made the AZ alternative group but there was a post on Facebook saying that she made it just to mock people here

>> No.10237077

>>10237070
oh, nope, the vegan shoplifter is white and chubby

>> No.10237094

>>10237063
>>10237070
they got banned, among other things, for doxxing people on here and stirring shit about the comm over half-decades old drama no one still cares about. they made their own comm and are so desperate for members they have to put flyers up at card stores and barcades.

>> No.10237105

>>10236857
I knew it was AZ. It's always AZ. I live in one of the major cities and I have no desire to attend meets after seeing how they all behave on here.

>> No.10237115

>>10237105
I mean.... ok but the people responsible are banned so I dunno what you're taking a stand against exactly

>> No.10237125

>>10237115
I know for a fact that the mods come here and I have no way of knowing if they're actually helpful and contribute to the community or if they're all just catty bitches too. One of them is a mod for RC: Uncensored which for a mod of a comm I don't think is very...I dunno, professional isn't the right word but I can't think of a better one.

>> No.10237143 [DELETED] 

>>10237070
I’m not in her comm but I know who you’re talking about and she was making a damn fool of herself both here and on the Lolita discord. She tried to doxx someone on a black Lolita fb group and throws a tantrum any time someone mentions anything other than asspats for her mediocre coords.

>> No.10237241

>>10237125
Nah the new mod who also mods RC:U is still a catty bitch. She’s the one that started the “moderator” role and icon shit we have seen recently. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one that posted >>10234178 in the ita thread. She’s done it many times before. Flounced, we got our shit together, no one posted. She came back then bam suddenly old ass images are in the ita thread from albums that where forgotten about. I mean she mods a well known cesspool of a lolita forum on Facebook, why would you not think it wasn’t her starting shit here again?

>> No.10237363 [DELETED] 

>>10237143
Oh are we talking about FJ? She's fucking psycho. Goes on long, fake rants here on cgl pretending to be people and she's done a bunch of other stuff that was retarded as fuck for a newb to try and pull.

>> No.10237382 [DELETED] 

>>10237363
Probably JM but FJ is guilty of the same bullshit. Mod AA is the one >>10237241 and >>10237125 are talking about.

>> No.10237391 [DELETED] 

>>10237382
Oh so what you're saying is that there are 3 idiots in the same area who do the same thing? Why am i not surprised

>> No.10237393 [DELETED] 

>>10237391
There is more then three. Those are just the three that always get brought up within the last year.

I’m starting to get curious what the “ new community” is named. Any one got the name so I know to not get suckered into joining it?

>> No.10237506
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10237506

>>10237125
>expecting 'professional' behavior for a volunteer position
anon

>> No.10237528

>>10237506
Nayrt but it’s not a matter that it’s work done for free. It’s a matter of people being able to trust the mod for serious questions without being made fun of and creating an inviting environment for newer members or members still learning their way in the fashion without getting posting and laughed at on an anon board. Considering how this said mod is a mod of RC:U which is quite literally the bad part of cgl on facebook, it doesn’t look good on the mod in the comm. it makes people not trust the mods ethics and real intentions of the status and using said status to get away with bad behavior that have gotten other members of the comm banned. So why should one member be banned for posting new members here for laughs and making fun of them while a mod who is known for doing such behaviors and runs a group known for such behaviors be exempted from the same judgment? She’s not very professional when she talks with members and uses cgl memes a lot. She passive aggressive and that isn’t what a good mod would be. I’m sorry if you’re her, but you really do not belong in that position. You just cause more tension in the community.

>> No.10237580

>>10237528
This, mods from all communities should be people new and old members feel safe to approach with their issues without fear or repercussions of being laughed at on an anon board. This is what causes communities to die and part ways. Of a mod has a history that is still generating more bad rap in current situations, they shouldn’t be trusted with being a community mod due to the fact that local communities are full of new lolitas still learning the way. Getting posted isn’t the worse thing that can happen, but no one wants their mods to be the person posted them when they where given the position to be helpful and answer questions members have. Moderators have to be a neutral force in a group to assure others are following rules and keeping conflicts down. Not stirring them up and making people feel I welcomed. That shows bias and taking a side rather then remaining neutral.

>> No.10237581 [DELETED] 

>>10237528
>the bad part of cgl on facebook
maybe for like a year but that group is dead as fuck now, it gets maybe one or two posts a year.

I get what you're saying but there are other mods. There was also an application process that from what I understand got almost no responses, so its hard to criticize the mod team for adding the only people interested in the position when they needed more help. I haven't seen her do anything offensive on the comm page or elsewhere since becoming a mod so I guess I don't see the issue. Even if she isn't nice or professional or whatever in private, that's a big leap from being a bitch in public or posting people on cgl, which the banned members definitely did.

>> No.10237585 [DELETED] 

>>10237241
not that you’ll believe another anon but as much as i think new mod is a c-nt, she isn’t the one that posted our itas (it was me)

>> No.10237598 [DELETED] 

>>10237581
Except she has and still does post people here. No ones saying the mods are perfect, but considering how dead the comm page was before her, there wasn’t a need to put her in said position in the first place. She’s outed herself multiple times when it comes to vendettas involving the comm. I mean look at how defensive the threads get when she’s brought up? She’s known to be on here a lot, she isn’t shy about it actually. She does exactly the same shit the banned members have done without really hiding it. But she’s buddy buddy with the other mods that she gets away with it much more then any other members.
And considering how you know there wasn’t much entries, you must be the mod she buddy buddy with from Tucson. You’re also not much better about outing yourself. But you at least keeps somewhat a professionalism when it comes to new members and remain somewhat helpful to even stupid questions. AA has never been able to let someone vent without getting snarky here and trying to defend herself. You ( for the most part) have, Assuming you are mod C. Now I don’t really like either of you two but if I had an issue, I would approach C first since she will be more helpful and less snarky then AA. But that’s just my opinion. The comm is a shit show and it was just made worse by adding her as a mod. It’s the elephant in the room that no one talks about except for here because of how she can’t handle genuine people who dislike her and have complains.

>> No.10237599 [DELETED] 

>>10237580
this is how i feel exactly (and i’ve talked with other comm members about this too). it might be a volunteer position for a local facebook group but there is a certain level of “professionalism” expected as a comm mod. i do not feel even remotely safe around AA nor do i feel that she is trustworthy. people not even in our state know who she is on RCU, it’s embarrassing that she’s our “moderator” when she acts like that.

>>10237581
she was literally involved with something recently on RCU, like just before or just after she became mod of the comm.
the way you know so much about the app process means you’re probably C or AA, or maybe even D, but whoever you are i can’t seem to wrap my mind around the fact that you think a small pool of applicants means that she was really the best choice to replace H, who always acted professionally and friendly to all members. AA doesn’t even come close. if the mods felt so helpless at choosing then why didn’t they reach out to members they thought would be okay as mods? I know if they had asked me I’d have considered it. Replacing H was what kept me from applying and now i fully regret it. our only two mods are both known cgl posters and it just doesn’t make us look any better than the two people we just banned for posting on cgl.
i just wouldn’t be surprised if the comm kinda dies because of this shit

>> No.10237600 [DELETED] 

>>10237581
>>10237585
Confirmed shit show of a comm. mods post community newbies and those still learning in ita threads. Way to mod there. Are you going to ban yourself for starting drama too? Or because you’re a mod you are exempted from the rules others have to abide by?

>> No.10237601

>>10237506
I did say professional wasn't quite the right word but I couldn't think of another.

>> No.10237602

>>10237599
Of I was approached I would have considered it too. I saw the application and knew there where much more justified options who would do great in that role then myself which is why I didn’t apply since I know there’s people who could do the role better then myself. But how where we supposed to know they where not getting that many applicants? We don’t see the applications. We just see the finishing results.

>> No.10237604

>>10235214
well to keep this from getting deleted over single comm drama (again?), my comm started dying out back in 2017 and so we started having regular monthly meetups. it was nothing major, we’d just vote on facebook for where to meet up (boba tea, all you can eat sushi, bookstores, cafes, karaoke etc) and would have a casual thing once every 4-5 weeks or so. we voted on the weekend date every time too, so it varied a lot, but after going to three or four i ended up becoming friends with some people i previously hadn’t ever seen at a meetup. i’m in california though so maybe we have more lolita-friendly places than where you live.

>> No.10237631 [DELETED] 
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10237631

>>10236720
I took so many. Was just laughing over them again thinking it was a fever dream I had

>> No.10237731 [DELETED] 

I have known AA for some time and she has never shown herself to be untrustworthy or not a good mod.

>> No.10237734 [DELETED] 

>>10237731
This. I’ll admit I didn’t always like her and we had our bit of problems at first but she sincerely apologize to me, and she’s been a good friend since and she’s not afraid to give it to you straight and not sugar coat things.

>>10237585
Believe it or not, most people in the comm, despite using cgl, don’t actually post each other here. Most of us would prefer you didn’t post A and N especially because we don’t want to be associated with them, and we definitely don’t want to claim them as our own. You must be new and haven’t realized we just sort of ignore them and hope they go away. Thankfully they rarely attend anything despite occasionally posting cringe fodder in the coord threads. Besides them, why would you post D? She’s really sweet and genuinely interested in learning and growing in the fashion.

>> No.10237745 [DELETED] 

>>10237734
>>10237731
You don’t know her past the mask she puts on. I’m not on her friends list any more because her herpetology shit got annoying, but I know people who still are and can confirm she’s not changed much from then to now. She’s just not talking as much in the group as she was before. She more active in the Pokémon community any way. I thought she flounced the comm years ago till they made her a mod. She hadn’t said shit or attended any meets for a while before then. That’s what really threw me off. She was almost forgotten mistake from the past till the mod announcement. I’m still pretty apprehensive in believing she’s “changed for the better”
Considering her track history. At least we have gotten the ita posting a little bit under control. She’s at least trying a little bit to be less obvious.

>> No.10237866 [DELETED] 

>>10237731
>has never shown herself to be untrustworthy

As if she didn't purposefully do so. Got to have friends in order to protect you when you're shitty and annoying.

>> No.10237906 [DELETED] 

>>10237734
>"she's not afraid to give it to you straight and not sugar coat things"
literally who cares about the opinions of a fatty who doesn't even wear lolita

>> No.10238112

>>10237604
Ooh, I like this monthly meetup idea. It sounds like a great way to get to know each other in a setting that's a lot more casual than stuff like museums/tea parties. Does the same person hold the meetups each time?

>> No.10238166 [DELETED] 
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10238166

So are we just gonna ignore the absolute shit show that’s been on Facebook in general recently? (RC, CoF and BSOLF) boomer-chan is back and better than ever

>> No.10238175 [DELETED] 

>>10238166
Holy shit she’s still posting that???

>> No.10238177

>>10238112
actually, it’s not really hosted by anyone in particular. sometimes our mods don’t even attend. it’s kind of more like “we all agree to meet up at the most-voted location”. it works well for us because no one person or group of people have a regular commitment of organizing it. i’m not sure it would work in all comms, (ymmv) but i go nearly every month

>> No.10238213 [DELETED] 

I hate to ask but I can’t seem to find the community page to ask the mods, does anyone have caps of what JM actually did, or said?
I’ve known her for awhile now, and she has always been so supportive of me wearing alt fashion. But every time I get posted she’s the first to console me...
I’m sorry but I just need to see it for myself. She’s so sweet in person and I just can’t believe it until I see it.

You can even email the evidence, or a place to message someone on fb for it. I just really need to see it, I need closure on who has been posting me for so long.
And if it’s her then that changes a lot. She’s even babysat my kids before... I just need to know

>> No.10238233

What's with the girl in all the mentoring groups saying she needs a custom petti because she's "got a unique body ratio"
I checked her profile and she's incredibly, well, average looking.

>> No.10238235

>>10238233
Probably dysmorphia or some mental illness.

>> No.10238237

>>10238166
where was this, i glanced through RC and didn't see it?

>> No.10238239 [DELETED] 

My post got deleted?
I just really need proof of what JM did I’m sorry I can’t find the Facebook group

>> No.10238540

az com please check archive

>> No.10238545 [DELETED] 

>>10238540
I have and have your answer. I just don’t care and want it to fucking die already.

>> No.10238575 [DELETED] 

>>10238545
then how do we believe you? now it feels like you’re just attacking them for wanting to start a new fashion group

>> No.10238583 [DELETED] 

>>10238575
Don’t listen to them. They just love spreading rumors, the group is really friendly and the mods are great.
I have seen no evidence for these allegations against JM and FJ. So far it’s all hearsay with NOTHING to back it up.

Can the mods just ban anyone now, with no proof or reason?
This whole thread reeks of vendetta.
AA, and D are just mad because they can’t fit into most brand and have to dress like hag witches.
This isn’t the first witch-hunt they’ve started.

You know what there IS proof for though? D shoplifting, and AA posting members on here.

>> No.10238613 [DELETED] 

>>10238583
There were plenty of caps of F doxing people in the black lolitas group as well as turning into a total cunt in the discord server.
What's the proof that you have of anyone posting anything here? Lol

>> No.10238661 [DELETED] 

>>10238233
She's shitting up my comms group with dumb questions. I wish the mods would tell her to fuck off. It's obvious she's going to be a massive ita with no social skills.

>> No.10240104

HLS comm be aware that your mods talk so much shit about you and everyone else in the comm. They're completely two faced but will flat out deny everything when you confront them.

>> No.10240105

What's with the OC comm right now? One of the DLD organizers posted that comm excludes LGBT people or something? Anyone got any deets?

>> No.10240108

>>10240104
It's Houston. Both comms are shit.

>> No.10240138

>>10240105
OC comm didn't accept a middle aged man who applied to their group. Then he goes into the trans lolitas group and bawws that he's actually a woman, despite having no evidence whatsoever on his profile, and the OC comm is transphobic when he's obviously a creepy sissy. He also tattled to LWLN on twitter.

>> No.10240147

>>10240138
this person is a hoot: https://twitter.com/GraffBunny/status/1161151855365246976

>> No.10240148
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10240148

>>10240147
forgot to drop pic

>> No.10240149
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10240149

>>10240148
look at this POS on the left

>> No.10240150
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10240150

>>10240149

>> No.10240152
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10240152

>>10240150
TYLER LIKED MY COORD
ÀAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHIDJRNSBWJDJ!!!!!!

>> No.10240159

>>10240147
>Has a gofundme for laser hair removal
wat

>> No.10240161

>>10240147
>https://twitter.com/GraffBunny/status/1161151855365246976
oh gawd please do not come to any other comms

>> No.10240165

>>10240104
What prompted this? There’s like... literally no drama or tea right now.

>> No.10240179

>>10240104
also dying bc dont they have plenty of people who are lgbtq who are in the comm... you cant be trans for not wanting to add a weirdo lol. anyone know what else happened?

>> No.10240183

>>10240179
transphobic*

>> No.10240187

>>10240179

what's the context for this?

>> No.10240188

>>10240187
I think they are talking about the OC comm

>> No.10240195

>>10240104
I was having a conversation with another member and find out that some mods have been talking about members of the comm. This person is close to those mods and apparently just had it with them and mentioned it to me. I'm not sure what happened but she just flat out let everything out. I asked if she had proof to bring it to the comms attention she said no. Everything was lowkey said in conversation rather than text.

I heard rumors about this from someone else but I doubt she would try to start drama. She just seemed very upset and venting.

>> No.10240210

What's the best way to deal with creeps in your local comm? There's an ouji in my comm who practically begs me to go on dates with him and has even contacted me through my business email to ask me out for drinks under the guise of wanting to talk to me about projects.
Here's the plot twist though: he has a really good reputation in my comm. Other girls find him to be a nice person and friendly and one of my friends was shocked when I told her about him. He's also unavoidable because he'll either RSVP as going to every upcoming event, or not RSVP to any events and will not show up at events he says he's going to attend or attend events that he said he wouldn't be attending.
I just wanna be able to attend comm-wide events again without worrying about this guy. What do I do, gulls?

>> No.10240213

>>10240105
>>10240138
Had something similar happen in my comm. A handful of people went around all the local Jfashion, convention and cosplay communities saying that our comm hates LGBTQ+ people and we’re all horribly bigoted, racist vanilla cishets, all because the mods removed a (white) male sissy from the group after he sexually harassed several members. Over half of our mod team is bi or lesbian, btw. Gay women who defend their friends from straight men are oppressors now.

Though ngl I can’t be too upset about this, because it has actually weeded out a lot of the tumblrsexual cosplay ita’s that normally try to join our comm after con season and then cry bully when we tell them “neko loli” isn’t really a lolita substyle.

>> No.10240215

>>10240210
our comm literally just banned someone who had a seemingly good reputation for being nice and friendly despite posting hate and doxxing on cgl/otherwise. this is creepy behavior and you should report it all (with as many screenshots / details with dates as possible) to your mods. i’m sorry you have to go through that. i’ve stopped going to meets because some people made me so uncomfortable

>> No.10240216

>>10240210
Screenshot everything, especially any instances of you telling him no and him persisting anyway. Bring it up to a mod you feel comfortable with and show her the screenshots if she asks for proof. Even if they decide it’s not a ban-worthy offence right now it’s very helpful to establish a documented history of his behaviour and to let people know what’s happening so they can keep an eye on him. People are more likely to be skeptical if you keep quiet for a long time and then suddenly complain (what looks to them) out of nowhere, so please tell people now even if you’re not sure anything can be done about him (yet).

>> No.10240221

>>10240165
That you know of...

>> No.10240251
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10240251

>>10240149
This is one of the funniest posts I've ever seen on this site.

I like you, anon.

>> No.10240290

>>10240150
I just want (unpassing) trannies to go from our comms and fashion. They will never look good

>> No.10240333

How do you start a comm where one exists in your area already? I'm in SW England and the only one that seems to be in existance turned into a general jfashion community. Would it do no harm to invite those from there to a comm where it's just strictly lolita? Or will it be seen as elitist for most?

>> No.10240337

>>10240108
To be fair, the other houston comm (HLC) has new mods (as of last year I think?) who actually organize decent events and keep the community active.

>> No.10240352

>>10240149
For someone who loudly proclaims to be against fetishists and creeps Tyler sure is giving a nice pose and smile here.

>> No.10240357 [DELETED] 
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10240357

>everyone looks the same in OPs pic

it's funny how japanese people crave fame and glory and recognition for unique individualism and yet they can't help but conform to everyone else around them. Such a strange culture. Why does anybody want to dress up like a toddler on their way to easter sunday? I'll never understand this creepy pedo-ish trend. Is the point to look like a grown child?

>> No.10240367

I think modship in most communities nowadays is just fucked. it usually consists of old fags who refuse to relinquish power but sit on their ass getting fatter every day while doing nothing, straight up sociopaths who use their power to manipulate and bully members, or meek ones who don’t do shit when members are harassed or stalked by others or allow fetishists to force their way into the group. It’s a laugh and a farce, because there’s no reasonable way to actually kick out bad mods because whose going to take away their modship? This fashion is ridiculous.

>> No.10240369

>>10240367
Excuse me but you just described the Houston comm perfectly.

>> No.10240371

>>10240337
If they were a lot welcoming and not so cliquey and judgmental I would join. The last meets have left a sour taste in my mouth.

>> No.10240377

>>10240369
Wasn’t even trying to, my bad lol. It is one of the more infamous ones though, so you’re not that far off. I remember dealing with HLC during the Anime Matsuri fiasco was like talking to a bunch of cult members, not sure if much changed since last I visited.

>> No.10240384

>>10240367
Is this a TX comm?

>> No.10240387

>>10240352
Well yeah but she’d look like an asshole for refusing him. Especially as a brand ambassador for BB&B, she’s got to be on her best behavior 24/7

>> No.10240398
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10240398

>>10240387
you get a lot of weird people showing up to have their photo taken with someone. this is on par with Tyler taking a photo with that creepy brolita at Tekko

>> No.10240400

What is the Dutch comm like?

>> No.10240406

>>10240387
>>10240398
Its just super hypocritical of her, since she threw Cathy Cat under the bus for working with John under contract from her job. She would do the same shit.

>> No.10240408

>>10240406
She had a 5 minute interaction with a sissy she had no prior contact with and got a photo with him, she didn't plan to attend an event months ahead of time with him. This is nothing like CathyCat and John Leigh you salty cunt.

>> No.10240409

>>10240221
Nah, I am pretty up to date. What do you feel is tea-worthy? Genuinely curious.

>> No.10240410

>>10240369
>>10240371
Literally what even are you talking about. If anything, there has been less drama, more unification, and more legitimate olive branches being made since all the shit in 2015. Stop being so fucking negative and enjoy the peace. People have been literally asking why we even still have 2 comms anymore because it has been so great. Stop your drama mongering and fuck off, we have had enough in the past 4 years to last a lifetime.

>> No.10240435

>>10240406
Taking a photo with someone who asks at an event is nothing at all like working with and defending them, but ok

>> No.10240436

>>10240406
Taking a photo with someone who asks at an event is nothing at all like working with and defending them, but ok

>> No.10240441

>>10240406
Calm down there.
I despise agps/sissies and shit but this is not hypocritical and not at all comparable to the cathy cat and anime matsuri dramu

>>10240400
As in Belgium? Went once they were sweethearts

>> No.10240454

I was wondering what people's thoughts were regarding the formality of meets. I'm active in two comms:
- Comm A is very casual with meets. Apart from some very sporadic bigger events, we generally book a table for X people at a restaurant and just kind of let the whole afternoon/evening take its course. People might take up to an hour to show up & then just order whatever they like (there's no set meal or anything), after we're done we might go somewhere else for drinks with whoever's left, it's generally very freewheeling.
- Comm B has quite 'organised' events, you generally need to put a deposit down a month or so in advance, have quite specific activities planned and the time/participant limits aren't very flexible. It doesn't generally have any casual outings in the style of 'show up here at X o'clock and we'll see how it goes'

What's everyone's comm more like? I'm wondering whether the location/country makes a difference too. I'm thinking it might be fun to organise some more planned events for comm A, but I'm thinking it might put people off.

>> No.10240456

>>10240454
I hate A because it’s rude to everyone. Businesses don’t want you to just casually take up space all day, bigger venues have deposits and time limits. Waiting on late people is exhausting.

I only do casual A type with a small group but bigger stuff needs B organization.

>> No.10240461

>>10240410
>Less drama
Just because it's not being said publicly or posted on social media does not mean that drama is not happening.

>unification
Yeah after mods left HLC which means those mods either started the drama or were making vague posts on their personal pages. Then being called out or lowkey saying shit behind everyone's back.

>drama mongering
No one here is being negative but no one outside of Houston will associate with either comms because you guys have a stick so far up your ass you don't see the shit you do. Calm the fuck down. Houston comms has an image issue and you're blind to not see it. People step out of the comms so much because you're not welcoming, members are brandwhores who look down on others that don't wear AP, and HLS has lazy mods who barely put any effort in meets. People avoid your comm like the plaque because it's consistently showing how Houston members attitudes gives little fucks about new people, the fashion, and community aspect. If you're not a brandwhore you barely get looked at and greeted. No thanks. I'll stick to my comm.

>> No.10240463

>>10240456
>Businesses don’t want you to just casually take up space all day, bigger venues have deposits and time limits

This HEAVILY depends on the city/country. I haven't organised an awful lot of meets to be fair but in my experience I have never been asked to put a deposit down for a larger booking unless it's something like Christmas season/an actual venue and not just a bar/restaurant.

>> No.10240469

>>10240461
The fact that you are having to reference mods who stepped down quite literally years ago is telling, but go off I guess.

1) Yea we have a few bitches, but every comm does, 2) we know we have an image issue—and people like you perpetuate that despite 99% of us trying to mend the divide, 3) it’s been so peaceful that our old friends from NOLA have been coming back more and more to visit us oldfags, 4) you sound like you are salty because you can’t fit into the new Honey Cake. Sorry about your inferiority complex.

>> No.10240519

>>10240512
Idk why you're waiting for comm mods to do that? The mods mainly exist to delete off-topic posts. All the guidelines and useful documents in my comm are made by other members, not the mods. If there are a lot of issues in your comm, maybe suggest to them to add a simple "no harassment" rule and report NSFW posts. I assume most comms already have those rules. And again, don't wait around for someone else to call out creeps, comm mods are just volunteers with no leadership experience. Simply make a post to the comm that warns other members of a creep. The same way you see people make warning posts about scammers. Keep it short.

>> No.10240537

>>10240454
I greatly prefer small, casual type A meets but my comm is too big for those to work outside of picnics so we pretty much only have type B meets. And even with casual picnics we still get people complaining when we don’t all travel together the entire way or have a detailed enough list of who is bringing what. I swear it sometimes feels like I’m organizing birthday parties for children.

>> No.10240579

>>10240454
my comm turned from A to B when people weren’t showing up for meets with deposits; it got too chaotic.
i loved all the planned meets, themes, specific activities etc for a while but it got boring very quickly desu. it didn’t feel like a fashion comm anymore but a weird club that i had to pay for events to see my lolita friends, (and it felt cheesy to always have a theme and planned activities) so i stopped wearing it and stopped attending.

i think the perfect comm is a mix of both. casual lolita (and even just j-fashion friendly) hangouts or meetups - although i don’t like the idea of people being an hour late and zero structure - and the occasional, maybe 3-4x a year planned events

>> No.10240597

>>10240454
I prefer a combo of A and B. The casualness you described is too annoying. As a host, fuck people who show up an hour or more late because it's "casual". Your host still has to figure out how many seats to get, try and help if someone is lost, try to gauge attendance for future meets, etc. But I sure do love having an "after meet" where we go somewhere else with a small group. I dislike over structured events that are over at a specific time. It always ends up being kind of early due to venue restrictions.

>> No.10240613

>>10240579
Imagine not being able to afford a deposit for a meet in a fashion with expensive dresses. Sorry you're poor. You don't need comm meets to meet with your friends if they're actually your friends.

>> No.10240619

>>10240454
Well, we have A type meets a lot, but we tell people to show at "roughly" some decided on time. Usually this is at festivals and places like markets/malls. Sometimes we'll move on to a second location.

If we're going to a restaurant, we make reservations and ask people to try to be on time. If we have picnics we try to get people in at around the same time also so that we don't have to worry about waiting on people before we start eating.

We've never taken deposits for anything though. It's almost to the point where I kind of want to start though, because we have so many issues with people flaking out last minute.

>> No.10240654

>>10240613
You'd be amazed at how many lolitas are or live like poorfags because they can't balance a budget. They live paycheck to paycheck and spend all their leftover cash on dresses. Try throwing a meetup that costs more than $50 to attend, even one with a full venue and activities, and people are going to bitch and moan about how expensive it is. I've even gone out to meals with lolitas who can't afford to tip.

The only exception is Japanese brand parties in the US and overseas. They generally cost a lot more, yet people seem more receptive to paying over $100 to attend. But those cater more to lolitas who care a LOT about their image and either have money or don't want to look like they care about the cost.

>> No.10240670

>>10240454
My comm is great, we have a healthy mix of both A and B. Our monthly meets are like A, but a little more structured. We have a meetup time, wait for about half an hour for stragglers, then walk to the restaurant we agree on. After, we usually split into smaller groups for dessert/shopping and the "organizer" updates our location on the Facebook event page (stuff like "oh we're eating at x place now" or "we've finished lunch, some people are going to daiso and some are going to ice cream at x place")

And of course we also have events like B where deposits are usually collected up to a week in advance too

>> No.10240673

>>10240367
This sums up the AZ comm pretty accurately desu.

>> No.10240679

>>10240469
>Few bitches
More like the majority of the comm.

>Mend the divide
Oh sweety, that's because you oldfags are getting married and fat.

>NOLA
Having one e-famous fag doesn't count honey. She's a sweetheart but the only one I see visiting you oldfags which shows who you are.

>new Honey Cake
Oh honey, I can do you one better. I can at least fit in the old Honey Cake. Try harder. The only one with the inferior complex is you with added denial. Whatever makes you happy. Houston comm is trash.

>> No.10240692
File: 468 KB, 500x400, Seinfeld wink.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10240692

>>10240469
>salty because you can’t fit into the new Honey Cake.
I bet I can fit into YOU, Honey Buns ;D

>> No.10240695

>>10240367
>tfw my comm is well dressed, low drama, and we're all friends and also located in the us
you too can have a good comm if you all could just stop being bitches for one moment and enjoy life

>> No.10240699

>>10240463
Protip: the waitstaff hate you

>> No.10240702

>>10240579
>so i stopped wearing it
I don't even know how to respond to something so ridiculous

>> No.10240705

>>10240654
We just don't think it's worth it to pay $50+transport to meet you. At a brand tea-party I can buy brand in person so that is worth it.

>> No.10240707

>>10235578
Facebook

>> No.10240720

>>10240679
.... the fact that you don’t know what NOLA is literally just proved every point I made.

>> No.10240721
File: 47 KB, 694x530, 24231722_1727763300575378_6740283887582263300_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10240721

>>10240679
bro you just posted cringe

>> No.10240729

>>10240613
exactly where did i imply i can’t afford a meet deposit? i said it’s just annoying if it’s the only regular way to hang out as a comm. check your fucking eyes

>> No.10240744

>>10240670
sounds like our comm as well. it's nice since its more casual and not "so loli desu" tea parties all the time

>> No.10240802

>>10240699
Your experience is not everyone elses.
I used to work in the service industry and I loved working a packed house, it felt like being at a party.
Getting paid to party with customers is bitchin.

>> No.10240819

>>10240679
>being mad that people are getting along and having peace
You’re the main problem in the lolita community

>> No.10240826

Just curious, how many male lolitas are in your comm and how many sissy's do you meet a year on average? And which comm are you in if you've met any?

I'm in the Dutch comm which is pretty big but I haven't seen any males so far. I'm not sure if that's unusual. Maybe it's more of an issue in other parts of the world?

>> No.10240830

>>10237105
If you like being alone then own it! Nobody is sitting around wishing you were here lmao

>> No.10240837
File: 9 KB, 64x64, charm.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10240837

>>10240830
I wish you were here, anon.
I wish you were here all the time. <3

>> No.10240844

>>10240826
Same comm here. We do have some brolitas and male oujis and afaik we currently have no sissies, though we did have at least one in the past. It also depends on what part of the country you’re in and how often and far you travel for meets. Some members mostly stay in their own corner of the country so if you live far away you never meet them.

>> No.10240856

>>10240673
Just letting you all know none of you still guessed right lol Didn’t think it would be that hard considering it’s one of the biggest cities in the country /shrug

>> No.10240868

>>10240826
We have one male lolita that I see fairly often and some boyfriends who will come to meets dressed in aristo-type coords sometimes.
No sissies yet.

>> No.10241035

>>10240597
Aww yea I love me some after meets.

>> No.10241068

>>10240856
Then name and shame?

>>10240826
There was one likely sissy (guessing a sissy because their Milanope-tier dress with a super-petti around their obese apple shape just screamed it) who showed up two hours late to a meet, just as most of us were packing up. That was a year ago and we haven’t seen them since.

We have one ouji who’s regular.

There is one good brolita who isn’t regular, but that is because they work weekends and most of the meets are arranged on weekends.

>> No.10241072

>>10240461
>>10240679
Wow, just.... full of inaccuracies. Except for the Houston comms being older, fatter, and married. But when the alternative is to die young and alone and leave a skinny corpse.... I'm guessing an AMfag is trying to stir up drama because they're hateful and bored, and their forays into thotdom aren't being well received.

>> No.10241074

>>10240856
I don’t think any one was actually guessing. I wasn’t. You just posted something that was relatable.

>> No.10241100 [DELETED] 

>>10240461
Hi Amber, great to see you can't afford burando. Hope working for John has nice cock.

>> No.10241220

>>10240367
i hate my comm’s mods so i just became a lonelita. lots of areas have this prob

>> No.10241223

>>10240149
Why does this guy look familiar? S2G I've seen him post on COF or somewhere

>> No.10241226

>>10241220
Same. I’ll interact with some members of my comm, but I don’t go out with my comm any more. I just go it alone and deal with the questions by myself. My wife has grown accustomed to curious people asking questions and has grown to answer them with me. Sometimes she will dress with me, but she doesn’t care much for the fashion like I do.

>> No.10241239

>>10240333
You could try to do a tea party or something to draw the lolitas out (while unfortunately allowing non-lolitas in)? And then from there talk to them in person about meeting up more often, and then boom! You have a discreet foundation for a comm that is built through friendship and common interest.

>> No.10241583

Asking for a friend, how active is the LA comm, or other comms in the area? Asking for my friend who's trying to join but the FB groups are apparently inactive? She submitted a request a while ago but hasn't had a response so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>> No.10241600

Every time I plan a meet it goes directly to the shitter.

>> No.10241610

>>10241583
LA comm is pretty dead except for the two events the mods host a year. Everything else will be a good drive away to attend, but tend to be more smaller meets than ticketed events.

>> No.10241794

>>10241610
I'm kind of surprised, would've thought the opposite for a big city like that. But ty for the insight that's very helpful! I'll pass the info along.

>> No.10241801

>>10241794
LA comm has had some drama over the years that it’s understandable that it’s kinda dead.

>> No.10241806

I want to plan a meet, but last time I tried, literally nobody showed up. It was likely because of the time and place. Back then I also posted about it to cgl about it, and I was told people in that comm don't attend your meet if they don't know you well.

Since then I haven't been able to go to any meets because they are all too far away or on the wrong day for me. So I'm still a nobody, but I want to give it another try. I just can't think of anything I should do differently than last time..

>> No.10241822

>>10241806
research bait, look at how the good ones started, look at what they do today, have something to offer that they want, become the fisher of people

>> No.10242065

>>10241801
Its not dead if you're in the right social circles.

>> No.10242068

>>10242065
That's not a comm

>> No.10242118

>>10242065
Social circles isn’t a comm. That’s a group of friends with a like interest acting outside of a community. Communities are regulated to keep organization. Social circles are more “ hey I’m going to the movies, wanna go with me?”

>> No.10242313

Did anyone get caps of the "I don't read rules so Lolita updates is racist" thread? I saw the beginning then it was deleted when I went to finish reading.

>> No.10242345

>>10242313
Some black lolitas can be such a fucking pain. Everyone disagreeing is a raycist wypipo uwu jealous of their melanin.
Also i cannot stand people using ghetto language or AAVE as they call it. You sound like a retard with that "dialect", speak properly

>> No.10242364

>>10242345
I honestly think they say that shit to feel better about themselves. No one is jealous of your skin tone and no one really cares about your race. But a bitch comes in all colors and religions and I’ll call you one of you act like one.

>> No.10242401

>>10242364
I don't have caps, but it was a white chick accusing the group of being racist against Americans, iirc.

>> No.10242404

How long in advance do you organise a meet? I feel like if it's announced too long in advance, there will be a lot more flakes.

>> No.10242435

>>10242404
If I have an idea for a meetup that requires rsvps like a fancy tea or limited time event, I usually go no more than one month in advance. I usually do that because I know places tend to have a minimum and people in my comm tend to need to schedule their days off a month in advance. If it's something casual, maybe 2 weeks in advance, so long as there's a gap between other meets already planned.

>> No.10242498

>>10242404
My comm has had some planned as soon as a week before the meet to 6 months before a meet. So it depends on what kind of meet. The ones that are a week are usually smaller ones for like movies, malls, museums and festivals. Longer meets tend to be rsvp private dining meets. Those are usually our ILD meets.

>> No.10242512

>>10241806
>literally nobody showed up
they didn't cancel beforehand?

>> No.10242513

My comm's Halloween meet is at a restaurant with really bad reviews and it looks like their Halloween menu is mostly for children. How shitty would it be if I organise a meet one week before or one week later with a scary theme?

>> No.10242521

>>10242513
A lot of comms do that actually. As long as it’s not competing with the other meet there usually isn’t that much drama. We usually do a ghost tour of one of the old buildings in town for Halloween then eat at haunted places.

>> No.10242537

>>10242521
I started looking for things to do and I think I'm starting to understand why it's at such a shitty restaurant. My country doesn't celebrate Halloween so there isn't anything Halloween themed to do in our city. She must have found one of the only places in the entire city that will do a Halloween menu.

>> No.10242585

>>10242537
Could always go for a normal restaurant and just make or buy little Halloween goodies to make it more in theme.

>> No.10242619

We have casual meets that are hosted by one girl and the mods usually take on the bigger meets.

Although the girl who hosts casual meets has hinted at making her own space for them. Do two comms usually cause a divide in the city? I like her meets but I also like my comm.

>> No.10242660

>>10242619
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>> No.10242697

>>10242345
She wasn't black, lol. She was saying Lolita Updates is racist against Americans.

>> No.10242853

>>10242660
Eh? I mean, there's a bit of a divide in that older lolitas willing to pay a bit of money for meets are more active in the original group, and younger lolitas who would rather more inexpensive meets are more active in the newer, London-only group, yes. But most people are a part of both groups, and invited to both meets, as well as events being cross-posted?

Admittedly, I do think the newer London-only group didn't really need to be made, since meets were fine where they were, but I don't think it's caused any drama or anything. Just a mild sense of "You really wanted to be a mod, I guess? Okay..?"

>> No.10242907

>>10242401 I’m >>10242364 and I wasn’t talking about what was happening in >>10242313 comment. I was replying to another anon talking about black people flying off the handle in >>10242345.

>> No.10242979

>>10242853
That's not what the OP was talking about, she means the two potential London comms.

>> No.10243103

I live in a metro area of a small-ish US state. While there are plenty of lolitas who are cool and fun to hang out with in my comm, everyone who lives within a 45 minute drive of my house is either a weeaboo ita or an autistic special snowflake. I wish I had some lolita friends I could just chill at a cafe with after work.

>> No.10243107

>>10242853
After tpc disbanded, there was no real London comm. So it was just a case of who you knew. I'm happy to finally have a comm here and I'm struggling to see it from your point of view.

>> No.10243127

>>10241610
>>10241610
there are literally 2 upcoming events and people posting interesting things to go to constantly

>> No.10243212

>>10242345
Black lolitas had nothing to do with that chicks meltdown, wtf?

>> No.10243217

>>10243103
i feel this plus the fact that there aren’t really any cute cafes or lolita-friendly businesses where i live, and the weather is terrible most of the year

>> No.10243221

>>10243103

i'll take the weeaboo ita over the snowflake anytime. at least weeaboos can have a good time

>> No.10243262

>>10243103
Oh god same. There are lot of girls in my comm I get along with but they all live in different cities an hour+ away. The only “lolitas” in my city are a female brony in a public BDSM relationship who styles every “coord” around a pony and a middle aged woman obsessed with Dr Who who wears mini hats with everything and has like ten guinea pigs.

save me

>> No.10243341

>>10243107
I like the newer London comm, but I don’t like that some of the mods are very pushy about being mods and claiming that it’s “their” comm when they’re riding off the back of the already established London community.

If the other group had been properly moderated when TPC finished, we wouldn’t have needed a second comm, and we definitely do not need a third if there’s someone considering making another one.

>> No.10243369

Is there any sort of organized comm in Japan? I'm moving to Kansai soon and would like to check it out if there is one, but haven't had any luck tracking one down online, either English or Japanese. Anywhere in the country is fine, really.

>> No.10243388

>>10243369
From what I understand the Japanese lolita community mostly centers around official brand events or stuff like KERA parties. There is the gaijin comm in Tokyo as well though.

>> No.10243547

>>10241583
That depends on whether your friend has anything remotely lolita related on their profile, I think. I know I submitted a request that got accepted instantly because I have some pictures of me publicly in the fashion, but my friend had to wait a long time and had to contact a mod because she didn’t have anything publicly available to show she was interested.

>> No.10243715

>>10243388
Are there still Kera parties?

>> No.10243734

>>10243388

I've heard of the gaijin group but haven't been able to find them. I'll have to look harder, I wouldn't mind travelling a few times a year for meets. Thanks for the tips!

>> No.10243751

>>10243734
International Tokyo lolita group on fb. I was able to find them with that pbrade.

>> No.10243753

>>10243751

Wow sausage fingers to the max. Meant phrase.

>> No.10243777

>>10241600
What kind of meets do you plan? Maybe people just aren't interested in the kind of meet you're hosting, or can't make it... there are plenty of reasons meets don't work out, don't give up on hosting!

>> No.10243848

>>10243369
Yes but they're on LINE

>> No.10243855

>>10242345
>>10242364
lmao the racists jumped out before the ship even reached harbour

>> No.10243916

I got banned from my local comm for refusing to play along with the delusion of a tranny so the handmaidens threw themselves at me.
Fuck troons and fuck those cocksucking libfems,some of them pretend being lesbian kek give me a fucking break. It was a black TiM so he got lots of oppreshun points, went as far as saying "muh body is more oppressed than cis women bodies".

>> No.10243920

>>10243916
Post screencaps or get psychological help for your compulsive lying

>> No.10243922

>>10243920
caps of what? Just got cried at for being a TERF
with a few "umM YIKES" and some fb groups being tagged.
I'll call a man in a dress a man, end of the story, trans identity is a delusion and i won' "change my mind" to be politically correct. Also men forcing themselves in lesbian spaces or women spaces is mysoginistic and lesbophobic

>> No.10243929

>>10243922
What do you mean caps of what? Caps of what you say happened. Are you trying to say it all happened in person?

>> No.10243930

>>10243922
You sound like a man who spent 10 minutes reading terf rhetoric

>> No.10243935

>>10243262
>>10243103
I feel this. A lot of girls in my comm are itas and talk about Communism (in a hobby about buying things) and how capitalism is the reason they don't have money a LOT. Completely unsolicited.

>> No.10243953

>>10243916
name and shame

>> No.10243955

Is it too early to plan an autmn meet that'll take place in November?

>> No.10243961

>>10243953
Happened in a separate group that had nothing to do with lolita,had a fight with the troon,called him what he was and he went to cry to his cockfondlers including comm mods who saw it and banned me saying i was being intolerant,a terf,... and i got a radfem friend who's still hiding in the group sending me caps of them mocking me in the groupchat with violent memes like "punch all terfs".

>> No.10243962

>>10243929
No male would care about males infiltrating lesbian/women spaces.

>> No.10243965

>>10243961
And you can't take caps of that because...?

>>10243962
He is infiltrating this thread

>> No.10243970

>>10243955
Never too early. Just be sure to post updates to remind people about it. Updates on location, parking, dress code etc.

>> No.10243974

>>10243922
I know you're biased and all, but lolita is not a women only space.
You got booted from your comm for very obvious reasons, judging by your caustic attitude. Doesn't even sound like the comm member in question did anything, you just went atomic TERF on a comm-mate, unprovoked.

>> No.10244034

>>10243916
>>10243922
>>10243961
Oof the obvious level of pinkpill in these posts. Cmon sis at least try to talk like a human when you're not on lolcow

>> No.10244077

>>10244034
nayrt but the fuck is a pink pill?

>> No.10244086

>>10244077
It's almost the womens version of mgtow, except it makes some sense here and there.

>> No.10244134

what's everyone's favorite comm? A comm that inspires you, has well-dressed lolitas and fun events with little drama?

>> No.10244144

>>10243916
From one lesbian to probably another, get therapy bitch!!!! obsessive terf shit is a disease, you literally think about penis more than any gay man ever has lol

>> No.10244158

>>10244144
That’s because a TERF isn’t a lesbian, they just play it like it’s some fantasy role.

>> No.10244213

>>10244158
honestly? makes sense

>> No.10244221

>>10243922
Huh?

>> No.10244228

Where's the list for finding local comms? I'm visiting Europe soon and would like to meet up.

>> No.10244237

>>10243930
This, trying way too hard.

>> No.10244268

>>10243734
Gaikokujin.

Stop repeating a word you learned once.

>> No.10244273

>>10244144
Please stop writing like you're from tumblr. And just because she said she doesn't like mtfs and openly stated it, that doesn't mean she thinks about them 24/7. This is the same level of "you hate trannies that means you want to fuck them!!" bullshit argument they love to spread to cope.

>> No.10244275

>>10244158
Explain how not liking men pretending to be women and feeling attracted to actual women is mutually exclusive.

>> No.10244312

>>10244275
You just like casting that bait line don’t you?

>> No.10244316

>>10244312
What bait line? It's a honest question about what their thought process is.

>> No.10244323
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10244323

>>10244316
Uh huh, okay. Sure. Keep harping that.

>> No.10244328

>>10244312
>>10244323
Don't reply to trolls

>> No.10244340

Anyone have a link to the vetted discord? Got booted due to inactivity.

>> No.10244344

>>10243955
No, our comm already has ILD booked pretty much.

>> No.10244347
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10244347

>>10240290
>implying trannies can pass

>> No.10244354

>>10244323
>facebook filename
>no answer reply
Tell me how not liking trannies disqualifies one from being a lesbian.

>> No.10244361

>>10244134
Finland comm is the best dressed.

>> No.10244570

>>10244158
>That’s because a TIM isn’t a lesbian, they just play it like it’s some fantasy role


I fixed it for you, you're welcome.
TIMs = men larping as lesbians.
TERFs = actual women and lesbians.

>> No.10244614

>>10244570
TIMs = men larping as lesbians.
TERFs = heterosexual women larping as lesbians.

>> No.10244636

>>10244570
You're retarded

>>10244614
kek,sure, go back to /pol/

>inb4 xd ur a tranny/troon troon defender!1!!

>> No.10244669

>>10243341
Isn't it their comm? Seems like most of the older group branched off or organise international events. Only a few people regularly organise London events anyway, so I don't see the fuss. London comm always has someone posting on 4chan to make drama when there really isn't any.

>> No.10244672

>>10243341
Agreed on the third part though: no need for a third comm. Why bother fragmenting it?

>> No.10244742

>>10244273
i never said anyone wanted to fuck anyone, just that terfs think about penis for an ungodly amount of time. are you retarded?

>> No.10244743

>>10244742
>This is the same level of bullshit argument
>And just because she said she doesn't like mtfs and openly stated it, that doesn't mean she thinks about them 24/7.
No, I'm not the one with the reading comprehension of a toddler spreading dumb shit to cope.

>> No.10244761

>>10244743
so you ARE retarded. thanks for clearing that up.

>> No.10244867

>>10243734
None of the 3-4 meets they host in a year are worth traveling to

>> No.10244880

>>10244614
A few years ago the transbian who harassed several girls in my comm called at least one girl a “fake lesbian” for not being attracted to him. His post-ban freakout derailed an entire thread. I wonder if he still posts here...

>> No.10244954

>>10244268
Gaijin is a common slang word, Anon, even in your glorious Nippon. It's OK, I promise.

>> No.10245279

>>10243369
There is both a Tokyo and Kansai comm on Facebook

>> No.10245505
File: 295 KB, 1200x899, 1708_langham-london_postillion---christmas-setup_for-web.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10245505

I'm organising an evening dinner to celebrate the anniversary of my comm. I want it to be luxurious, beautiful, perfect food, drinks, comfortable seats.. but I think my comm members would only spend around 30-40 dollars including drinks, and with that we can't even have 2 courses at the restaurants I want, or a good afternoon tea. Assuming we would have a glass of wine or something too.

How much do you spend on a dinner when you eat out to celebrate something?

>> No.10245509

>>10245505
When I go out for dinner to celebrate something, usually I spend around 50 euro at an average restaurant. There are no luxurious dining places where I live. At a "cheap" dinner like a Chinese or pizza place I spend around 25 euro. Drinks can make it much more expensive. I make sure to only order one or two "real" drinks. Your comm members need to learn to drink slowly and order free water. But I assume if you want a private room you need to spend a certain amount.

>> No.10245510

>>10245509
Also, high tea as they call it here has a standard price of 20 euro at the cheapest places

>> No.10245779

I like Lor but her influence on newbies is just not good. There is zero reason anyone should be tucking their op or jsk in to wear as a skirt.

>> No.10245780

>>10245779
People have been doing this for a while without her influence, though.

>> No.10245841

>>10240654
>You'd be amazed at how many lolitas are or live like poorfags because they can't balance a budget.
Why would one be amazed by that which one expects?

>> No.10245842

>>10244361
Finland has multiple comms. And not all of them dress well.

>> No.10245852

I would just organise the meet the way you want to. If only 5 people show up, it's actually much easier to talk and make friends. If the rest of the comm wanted a cheap meet, they should organise it themselves.

>> No.10245875

>>10245505
Depending on how hardcore you want to go, we had something similar for my comm a few years back. We rented a room in a tea house, did a raffle, had a pro photographer, everyone got gift bags, and there was different levels of attendee, so like just food and gift bag was I think $40, a middle tier with a raffle ticket was 45 and top tier with a few other perks was $50, and then there was a cash bar because of the underage girls. It turned out amazing, actually. So if you hype it up as a big ott affair, once in a lifetime, sort of event, that might make people want to attend. Also if you're giving "enough" notice, for everyone to reserve their spot or whatever

>> No.10245968

>>10245841
I was about to argue with you and say that normal people don't buy $100 dresses when they can't pay their bills but then I remembered some former friends of mine who would whine about being broke all the time but went to Forever 21 every week. I guess shopping addiction comes in all kinds of flavors.

>> No.10246836

What are your comms doing for ILD this year?

We do a high tea usually but some have complained about cost so I don’t know what we’re doing.

>> No.10246845

>>10246836
How much did it cost? Some people in my comm complain about 80 for an AP tea-party, but they are a small minority. I spend more than that when I go out with my mum.

>> No.10247183

How often do you all see random lolitas in the wild? I moved from a country where sightings of lolitas I didn't know happened probably less than once a year to a city where I see maybe 2-3 lolitas a month, East Asian tourists 100% of the time. What are the stats like where you are?

>> No.10247188

>>10246836
I hate people who whinge about meetup costs. I understand what it's like to be a poorfag but it's like your attendance is mandated at each and every event.

>> No.10247190

>>10247188
it's not like*, oops

>> No.10247279

>>10247183
I live in a small dutch city and I see lolitas like 2-3 times a year, that I do not recognise from our comm but not Asian either

>> No.10247314

>>10247183
I have actually never seen another Lolita before that wasn't at a con or meet. I did see a girl in what I believe was supposed to be fairy kei at the mall once but that was it.

>> No.10247332

>>10247183
My local comm is huge but I rarely spot lolitas in the wild, and even when I do they’re Milanoo-tier itas who I don’t recognise from the comm.

>> No.10247344

>>10247314
>>10247332
I think it depends on where you go during the day. Whenever I see a lolita in the wild, it's at the train station when I'm on my way to the centre of our capital city. I've seen more lolitas at metal and visual kei shows but I don't think that counts as "in the wild".

>> No.10247345

>>10247183
>>10247183
You see random lolitas all the time in the north of England especially in Manchester, Leeds and Sheffield. Usually they’re international students and don’t really mix with the comms

>> No.10247348

>>10247183
I saw a lolita walking past my work in London two days in a row but she was obviously a tourist and hadn't packed a petti.
Also was wearing sneakers with Misty sky but hey. I think that's the first time I've ever seen some other frilly freak in the wild for a long while.

>> No.10247367

>>10247348
Oh that's crazy, I'm >>10247183 and I'm in Oxford - didn't think the difference would be that big. Though I guess the city does attract a certain type of tourist.

>> No.10247374

>>10247348
I’m curious when abouts was this? And what did they look like?

>> No.10247399

>>10247367
It's pretty much the only lolita in the wild I've seen whilst here. I think the only other one iirc was a girl in a v toned down coord years back. I only ever see my comm out. Huge city, I guess.

>>10247374
About two weeks back. She walked past my shop two days in a row. I can't remember what she was wearing the second day (I think it was a taobao print because it didn't look like anything I've seen and I'm pretty good with guessing brands) but she was an East asian tourist (I assume) with an older guy, she was definitely wearing the gradient Misty sky the first time. White sneakers, no petti and some sort of white cardi I think? Not a coord I'd wear. But each to their own.

>> No.10247470

>>10247183
I almost never see Lolitas in the wild in my state (weird because our comm is reasonably active and I know most of the girls in it). However, on my last day at Disneyland this year I saw two very cute Lolitas going into the park. One of them was even wearing BTSSB! It was a really heart-warming experience desu.

>> No.10247486

>>10247344
Yeah probably so. I live on the outskirts of a big city in the southeast US and I'll bet I'd see more if I actually went into the city more often but I tend to stay in my area unless theres an event going on.

>> No.10247510

>>10247183
Despite having a large local community I virtually never see it outside of meets.

>> No.10247796

>>10245780
And they were lumpy too.

>> No.10247797

>>10245505
If you are who I think you are, I'm rooting for you A

>> No.10249753

Two older mods in my local comm stepped down and two new ones got appointed.

I am excited to see what new events and meets the two new mods can bring to the table since the community has been dead for a long while with the exception of ILD meet ups.

>> No.10249864
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10249864

a little old

>> No.10249873

>>10249864
I guess they came into the fashion and left it in under 5 minutes because damn they took no assistance at all.

>> No.10249902

>>10249753
Neither of the two new mods live in LA. What's the deal with that?

>> No.10249971

>>10247399
To be fair, traveling in lolita is a real pain in the ass. If you're just taking carry-on luggage then you have to cram your petticoat in with everything else you're taking (so if you're there for more than 2-3 days that's a problem) or wear it on the plane (which is also a problem if you're not flying first-class because nobody wants to be sitting next to a woman whose skirt can barely fit through the aisles) and then if you're planning on walking for any extended period of time to go sight-seeing, lolita footwear is probably not your friend. That's why I'd just leave it at home, personally, but maybe she was excited about going to England. swear to god you guys have some of the best lolita-appropriate places to pose in front of for photo ops.

>> No.10249987

>>10249753
If you only rely on mods to make meets and not take the initiative yourself, I doubt new mods are going to solve your comms problems

>> No.10250022

>>10249864
How do people like this even function in real life?

>> No.10250049

>>10250022
Short answer? They don't. The post is still up so you can look at her public posts if you know where to find it. I'm convinced this girl has some kind of mental disability.

>> No.10250112

>>10249902
Most lolitas just live in the county rather than the city proper. Half the meets end up being in Pasadena anyway. But the comm itself is virtually dead since almost nobody wants to host meets for everyone except the mods. People just do their own thing with their friends. I think these are the only two people who have actually bothered helping the mods or hosting something for the comm lately.
Tbh I don't know why anyone would want to be mod for the LA community, so it's good that at least two people wanted the position. LA is way too big and nobody really likes each other. It seems pretty thankless compared to smaller comms where people generally know and like the rest of the members.

>> No.10250195

@sf lolitas I’m begging you please plan something for winter ild please
I’d plan one myself but I’m new to the comm and only like 4 people would come

>> No.10250265

>>10250195
Instead of just randomly planning a meet, why don't you ease into it and make a post on the comm page gauging interest in a specific activity? For example, ask if anyone is interested in a cute cafe you recently discovered with a link to its fb page. Something low-key that's not yet committal and can get you talking with a few members can get at least a handful of people interested.

>> No.10250331

>>10247183
i've met other lolitas in the wild but never while they're dressed up. usually they approach me since i am the "lolita in the wild"

>> No.10250332

>>10250112
I hope they breathe some new life into the comm. It's a shame LA has a large community but practically no meets.

>> No.10250453

>>10250195
>>10250265
Isn't SF comm huge? Surely they'd be an ILD event in planning somewhere?

AP and BttsB are there. Surely they'll be doing something for ILD right?

>> No.10250579

>>10249864
>>10250049
did it get deleted? I searched in BSLF by date shown and came up empty.

>> No.10250594

>>10250579
Check the comments. They're using mentor tags so it's not BSOLF, it's LFM.

>> No.10250630

>>10250049
Yeah, it's really sad how they just let her keep going off in CoF. Mods should have banned her after the first post went off the rails and they could see she didn't/couldn't understand.

>> No.10250721

>>10250332
>OC
They are part of the group of people that only hangs out with the other lolitas in their friend circle. I highly doubt they will actually be breathing much life into the community desu

>> No.10250730

>>10250721
In some ways I think it's better to have a "friend circle" type comm so there are actual events happening. People are more motivated to host things for and are more comfortable around people they know. Most lolita communities are so small that this overlaps naturally. The problem is big comms like LA where it's impossible to know everyone so groups just fracture off and nobody wants to host anything.
Point being, cliquieness does lead to more quality events being hosted. A good moderator will make it easy for new people to integrate into the friend group.

>> No.10250731

>>10242345

You're racist.

And you sound like a Boomer grandma complaining about slang.

>> No.10250866

>>10250730
Ok LA mod, you do you boo.

>> No.10251228

>>10250594
thanks muchly, found it.

>> No.10251261

>>10247188
The per person cost of a meetup went up from $50 to $60 once and five people immediately dropped out.

The majority of my comm is fine but some people have no concept of putting money aside for meets when they're given two months notice to save.

>> No.10251299

>>10247188
>>10251261
I especially hate it when people who clearly have the money to spend frivolously on other stuff whine about meet costs and aren’t interested in organising or attending cheaper meets as if those are beneath them. If they really wanted to come to all the fancy meets they could just not buy any fandom merch for a few weeks. Both are luxuries, they’re not entitled to having both if they can’t afford it. Same with people who have other expensive hobbies and then whine about not being able to afford an all-brand wardrobe. You’ve made your choice, that’s not our problem.

>> No.10251389

>>10251299
I think some people just don't want to pay for a non-materialistic experience. If they buy a bunch of useless stuff, they can still hold that stuff long after they paid, so they don't feel like they "lost" money. If they pay for something non-materialistic like a meet or food in general, they feel like their money is gone forever and they got nothing in return.

>> No.10252053
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10252053

>> No.10252096

>>10250453
Brand shops don't really celebrate ILD. That said, AP usually has an anniversary party in November.

Summer ILD is usually twinning but Winter ILD is a bit hit or miss.

>> No.10252110

>>10252053
Make lolita quaintrelle again 2k19

>> No.10252113

>>10252110
Quaintrelle is the worst, lamest name. Stop trying to make it happen it's not going to happen.

>> No.10252119

>>10252053
You can still use the tags? What are they on about?

>> No.10252132

>>10252110
When a normie asks, I prefer to say aomoji kei or harajuku fashion

>> No.10252133

What is your comm doing for Halloween this year? Me and another girl need to plan something for Saturday evening and idk what to do.

>> No.10252250

>>10243369
Kansai International Lolitas is the group for you. They're a small comm, but really nice. You need to message Danielle if you want to join though as she's a little weary about letting new members in.

>> No.10252311

>>10252133
Nothing explicitly for Halloween per see, but someone organized a fright walk night tour meetup at the local historical mansion
Fun ideas also include spoopy potluck, some sort of spoopy craft, or horror movie showings

>> No.10252418 [DELETED] 

>>10242345
Literally shut the full fuck up.
It's not our fault you can't understand a dialect that's not for you.

And it wasn't even a black lolita, it was a melanin-deficient one. Nice try.

>> No.10252420

>>10252053
At this point I really agree with the person who says change it. The swastika argument is so dumb and completely useless, it's nowhere near the same point.

Also I thought there's actual proof of Mana naming it after the book? Let's be real, it likely is named after the book, if they wanted a cute name they would have called it Alice Kei or something.

Also 'its racist to try changing the name of a jap street fashion'
Bitch, technically lolita is the Japanese culturally appropriating my ancestors, but I don't give a fuck because why would I.

>> No.10252433

>>10252420
>thinking Mana came up with the name
Using lolita as a term for fashion came from MILK

>> No.10252437

>>10252053
>good riddance to the name lolita!!!
>let's call it egl and be done with it
>egl
>elegant gothic lolita
bitch where in that name are you getting rid of the term lolita

>> No.10252441

>>10252433
It didn’t come from MILK it came from the magazine Ryuko Tsushin

>> No.10252443

>>10252441
MILK called one of their collections lolita first

>> No.10252444

>>10252441
Milk had this really girly, European and yet punky look at a time that was very uncommon and special. When they used lolita, Japanese people also started to use it for things not made by Milk but did have a similar look. That magazine is just the first time it was written somewhere we can still look up. If you look at Japanese explanations of the history of lolita fashion, many of them say Milk was the first lolita brand.

>> No.10252715 [DELETED] 

>>10252418
>dialect
lazy english is not a 'dialect'. learn to enunciate and pronounce words properly.

>> No.10252725 [DELETED] 

>>10252715
A dialect is just how a group of people speak. Dislike it all you want. It's still a dialect.

>> No.10252775

>>10252119
I tried it a few times and I didn't get an error but it also didn't load the tags. I just got the search icon for like a minute before giving up.

I also removed the tag from my posts and one of them also had a store where I lived tagged, and as soon as i removed #lolitafashion- the store found my post and mentioned it on their IG. So like, they have definitely hidden posts with that hashtag.

>> No.10252795

>>10252096
Sorry for being a newb but I didn't realise that. Seems odd considering how big some of the ILD events I've been to were.

>> No.10252812 [DELETED] 

>>10252715
>maybe if we embrace how stupid we sound it will be considered legitimate!
ESL people speak better english than people born here.

>> No.10253225 [DELETED] 

>>10252812
What does that mean?

>> No.10253235 [DELETED] 

>>10253225
Nayrt but people who are ESL sound more educated then this “dialect” you are trying to say is okay. It’s not. It makes you sound like you are from the part of Detroit no one goes to unless they have “business” in the area.

>> No.10253262 [DELETED] 

>>10253235

Makes sense now. Picking up what you are putting down..

>> No.10253330 [DELETED] 

>>10252725
>A dialect is just how a group of people speak. Dislike it all you want. It's still a dialect.

While true, Doesn’t change the fact that more sophisticated peeps learn the standard language or major city language of the region.

>> No.10254784

>>10252795
ILD is a creation of the American lolita community; I think some japanese girls may celebrate it but it’s kind of a western thing, mostly. Although there are western branches of the brand stores they tend to be particular about the events they host. I’m sure the shopgirls have tried to do something though I also feel like a brand ILD event might end up being too exclusive/a bit expensive (thinking about how much tickets were for the most recent SF brand event)

>> No.10254812

>>10250195
There are usually several meetups for winter ILD as they usually fill up pretty quick! Just keep your eye on the page for updates

>> No.10254817

>>10252795
My comm has never done an ILD meet. I'm in Europe. It's a local thing.

>> No.10254918

>>10240215
how did you figure it out?

>> No.10254926

>>10245779
still looks stupid if you move AT ALL

>> No.10257237

>>10254784
Western, not American. It was decided back in the days of LJ EGL and everyone had input. The reason we have two is because Australia didn't want ILD to always be in the winter for them.

>> No.10257264

The girls in my comm act like absolute retards when selling things secondhand whether online or at swap meets. No one will pay $50 for a worn-out Taobao blouse or $200 for an AP skirt you've worn to every meet for the last 2 years. I wish I had a comm that was actually reasonable about secondhand sales so we could swap/buy locally, but I guess that's just a pipe dream.

>> No.10257268

>>10252443
>>10252444
Is there any place that I can read more about this data? I remember reading in the Rococo scans anon posted here some months ago that the name "lolita fashion" became popular by the end of the 90's, coming along with the movie's remake.

>> No.10257269

>>10257264
Be the change you want to see. My comm members generally ask what they originally paid for it. If they bought something from me for a low price, they sell it for a low price. There's a stigma against asking for more even if what you're selling became more popular, we all know what she paid for it so.

>> No.10257335

>>10257268
http://www.fyeahlolita.com/2013/11/why-is-lolita-called-lolita-does-lolita.html

If you haven't already read this, maybe it would help?

>> No.10257361

>>10257269
That might be the case for your comm but mine will mark things back up to near full price. For example, someone recently listed a piece of AH jewelry that she bought secondhand on LM but marked it back up to near full price anyways. You can even check the LM listing to see that she bought it much more than she’s trying to sell it for. Another girl sells her worn brand pieces for retail price or barely discounted. These people have no shame and it’s embarrassing.

>> No.10257413

>>10257237
I mean sure, but the person who originality brought it up is American.

>> No.10257466

>>10257264
>>10257269
>>10257361
My comm's sales group is a mess. We have a strange mix of a few good lolitas who know what their clothes are actually worth and then a bunch of girls who highball everything. The first group are great to buy from and often have neat classic and oldschool pieces for really cheap since those styles aren't super popular in my comm. The second group though are mostly Baby/APfags who bought into the 'every dress costs $400' meme and try and peddle their unpopular, usually went on sale prints for 4-500 dollars a piece. No one buys them. Then we have people who straight up list their normie clothes.

Then there's a girl who I sold a dress to for what seemed like a good price considering the condition, It had been worn a lot and I actually got more than I expected for it. Less than 3 months later I see her selling it on LM in like new condition for almost double what she paid which was even well over what I paid for it retail. It's not a popular dress so I doubt it would sell. Her other highball listings have been sitting there for months so I doubt she's going to turn a profit, but it's most embarrassing to see.

I wonder if these kinds of people seriously see their wardrobes as investments they can turn a profit on and not what they are which is... just clothes.

>> No.10257571

>>10257269
Extra as fuck but I’ve started checking people’s feedback on lm if they bought the item secondhand to see how much they paid for it. I’ve caught several listings where the item was bought for $5-$20 USD less than what they’re asking for that way. I hate scalpers, especially people who flip pieces on lm.

>>10257466
A girl in my comm lists her dresses on lm at or slightly above retail and then continuously price drops the dress until it’s what she wants to sell it for. Her listing constantly shows up in the reduced price section and it looks like the buyer is getting a discount when they aren’t.

>> No.10257591

>>10257571

You sound psychotic and worse than scammers desu

>> No.10257670

>>10257591
>t. chronic reseller

>> No.10257673

>>10257670

Enjoy stewing over literal $5 markups poorfag.

>> No.10257681

>>10257571
>the item was bought for $5-$20 USD less than what they’re asking
They probably just add what they paid for shipping

>> No.10257682

>>10257591
Are you a scalper? It's normal to read feedback, that's what it's there for. I sometimes look for the previous listings of something I'm buying just to read different descriptions and see pictures in different lighting. I even think it can be interesting to see how a piece "travelled" before it reaches you.

>> No.10257683

>>10257682

Anon is mad over a $5-20 markup.

I watch the market too, and I too get annoyed about high markups but there are so many of those already and anon is so annoyed over a tiny markup they put those people in their personal burn list? They need a life.

>> No.10257688

>>10240150
me on the right

>> No.10257818

>>10257264
There are a few oldfags in my comm who are still in the mindset that brand is very difficult to get and anything with a brand label is highly coveted, so they try to sell these super worn-out, unpopular old pieces for well over retail and then whine about how much the modern lolita community sucks when nobody buys their shit. I’ve been around for as long as they have and even back then, I can’t think of many people who would’ve paid €200 for a badly stained and faded Meta skirt. Especially ones that still regularly pop up on mercari or fril in better condition for like ¥6000 max.

>> No.10261484

Don’t get bitching over someone else’s markup.
Do you want someone telling you how much you are allowed to sell something for?
If something drops in value do you feel sorry for the seller and kick in extra.

>> No.10261487

>>10257571
If the going price is more than they bought it for, you're just mad they got a better deal at that point.
I don't like old-school much, but I don't see the harm in selling it for what people are willing to pay at the moment even if you got it for cheaper. And this is coming from someone who is trying to buy moitie in the current climate.

>> No.10265101

Wanted to see if this was a problem between a few comms, but does anyone struggle with getting people to pay for a private room / private hire?

Many members of my comm say that they want meets to be private and then complain that there’s an extra cost on top. Does anyone know how to deal with this?

We’ve had some pretty bad experiences with picnics (not so much with restaurants though), but it’s hard to divide up the cost between comm members since they complain about not getting anything for their money since they have to pay for food once they get in. I just see it as similar to paying an entrance fee to a bar (which most private hire is a similar price), but I’m considering just upping the price and pre-ordering everyone some food since it makes it seem like you’re getting something with your ticket.

>> No.10265143

>>10240679
Sounds like someone is upset that the Houston comms managed to shut down SiW.

>> No.10265173

>>10265101
Trust me, its best to go all inclusive. We deal with this all the time, it's like pulling teeth. Can't afford $50 on top of your $300 dress? Even though you've known about the event for 2 months now? Get the fuck out.

>> No.10267178

>>10240147
Honestly maybe this person was more obnoxious in person or something, cause this tweet seems pretty normal

>> No.10267179

>>10240148
Honestly I don't see what the gripe is? Yeah she looks kinda ita but weren't we all at some point

>> No.10267182

Damn ya'll out here saying "I don't hate fatties, black people, transwomen" and this thread is not very convincing. I think all those folks were right to talk shit, even if they themselves were deplorable and shouldn't be in the comm. it says something about you how you talk about even bad people's immutable traits.

>> No.10268834

Next thread >>10268111

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