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10159179 No.10159179 [Reply] [Original] [rbt]

Old Thread >>10141889

Anyone's community having any fun international lolita day themed events coming up?

>> No.10159492

>>10141889 isn't saged yet, you fucking retard. Post there.

>> No.10159780 [DELETED] 

They probably know and are just mad because last thread got derailed. There are a ton of newfags lately that think they can just abandon a thread once it's been derailed.

>> No.10166748

bumpu since the old thread is about to autosage

>> No.10166755
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My comm hasn't posted anything since Christmas and I don't really have the budget to host an ILD meet so I guess I'll die (:

>> No.10166758

Uhh. Last thing that was being discussed was meet ups so that's pretty on topic.

>> No.10166761

>I don't really have the budget
That's why you take payments ahead of time to get a venue.

>> No.10166787

It's not even active enough to get that much

>> No.10166798

>posts the retarded “famous” diner
Please tell me you’re not seriously suggesting paying $60 for a trip to that discount Hooters is supposed to be a fun ILD idea.

>> No.10166805

my comm is having a brunch at an upscale hotel!! first time someone’s actually stepped up to plan a fancier meet so i’m excited and hope it goes well

>> No.10166810

I get where you're coming from but if people want to go to an ILD meet this what ya gotta do.

>> No.10166824
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I meant it as irony, but I guess it didn't come off that way, my apologies. Sad they spent so much effort trying to make a cute event website for such an ugly venue. Did they honestly think no one would image search this place LOL!!!

>> No.10166869

What's with the BGP Collective comm? It seems like a pretty big area with lolitas but every time the mod posts an event, nobody ever attends and the meets keep getting cancelled.

>> No.10166895

Quick question too: why the hell is it $60 for a $15 meal. The raffle prizes aren't that good. Seems like a cash grab IMO

>> No.10166938

Most likely to cover the catering and the time rented out for the space, honestly. I would hope it would be a closed event and not just pushed to one side of the diner while the normies stare at you from the other side, that would be sooooooo fucking ghastly. Also for those who might not know, all the raffle prizes are donated pro bono so they're not spending any money whatsoever there. But that's just my guess.

>> No.10167342
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I was tempted on going, but then I looked up the photos of the diner. Not to be superficial, but most people's coords are going to look like shit with the color scheme inside.

>> No.10167429

You people have no taste, this is super cute. I'd love to take pics of sweet lolitas in this place. Sorry you can't wear your gaudy OTT classic wanna be princess coords here.

>> No.10167572
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Either you are blind or are trying to get some sad ass pats, because you have to admit those colors are absolutely horrendous and I'm not even >>10167342
Might have been okay for a regular meet up idea, but this is laughable for an event that's supposed to be the one of the fanciest of the year, but what do I know about meets lulz

>> No.10167576
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i'm a sweet lolita but you have absolute shit taste.

>> No.10168102

>t. LA comm mods

>> No.10168108

>discount hooters is super cute!
LA comm mod, plz stop

>> No.10168129
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This chick clearly oversaturated her photo but the place looks decent with good lighting and shopping. Though $60 does seem a bit high, I'd probably just go on my own for pics if I lived in CA.

>> No.10168149
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Sounds like one of the mods just got Diner Doll or Fancy Candy and wants a mini photoshoot.

>> No.10168161

i lived near the one on 12050 Woodruff Ave, Downey, CA 90241 but its no longer there

>> No.10168417 [DELETED] 

there is a girl in my comm who always wear classic/sweet and she always complains about the backgrounds the comm chooses for photos.

I swear, chicks into classic are a special breed.

>> No.10168422

I think the idea of a diner meet is cute but this one just looks dark and dingy. I wouldn't pay 60$ for the food there either, no way.

>> No.10168556

Are comms in south west England non-existant?

>> No.10168823


I like how everyone shits on the mods when they’re not even the ones organizing this ILD. Your hate seems generally displaced.

>> No.10168967

A-chan is organizing this event. A-chan is also a mod.

>> No.10168998

I always forget A is a mod, she's bland and boring af. Why is she one anyway

>> No.10169129

Yeah I don’t know why she’s still a mod when she’s too old to deal with this shit apparently lol

>> No.10169278

Exactly, don't even know why you'd need to put down your own money? I host often and have only ever paid for optional extras I've chosen to add, like prizes for games or gift bags. Even then I'll add a couple extra bucks to the ticket price to help pay for those things. I say just find a tea house or restaurant, make a reservation, and take payments beforehand.

>> No.10169302

Aight I'm a drama-thirsty bitch who likes to dredge things up. Does KK still go to comm meets or did she disappear like the wicked witch of the west when she had her freakout over cgl

>> No.10171025

What's happening in the San Francisco bay area comm?

>> No.10171244

I think she got removed from her main comm. I haven't seen any sign of her since her freak out.

>> No.10171480


>> No.10171533 [DELETED] 
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Apparently J Chan from the LA comm is begging for money to get a cosmetic procedure..while wearing a Vivienne Westwood necklace lololol

>> No.10171628 [DELETED] 

what's your problem with her? yes, i think she should save for this (even though our healthcare is expensive and opportunistic), but you shouldn't call her out for trying to be a better person on the outside.

>> No.10171657 [DELETED] 

Yes healthcare is expensive, but this isn't some sort of life-saving surgery that's needed, it's laser hair removal. Like honestly learn to budget or at least not humble brag in your own beggar page by wearing an expensive brand while crying about how you can't afford this surgery that's seemingly so important but not important enough for you to learn to be an adult and take care of your own problems. It's called real life, deal with it.

>> No.10171678 [DELETED] 

I do question her sincerity. We have a lolita going through a similar process of hair removal and he isn’t begging on GoFundMe

>> No.10171681
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Idk i think AP's fancy candy, Milk shake, and a few of the more retro inspired meta dresses will actually match the decor perfectly. Too bad I don't live in LA.

>> No.10171701
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>> No.10171743

So, everyone who wears current AP. Who else will fit the theme? What should a gothic lolita wear?

>> No.10171747

I get your point but what kind of venue is fitting for classic, goth, and sweet?

>> No.10171758

Their midsummer night's dream meetup was a solid theme that could suit all three. I think it was at a park.

>> No.10171773
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An otome or rockabilly kuro look? Or like a 50s sailor dress vibe? Just lean in real hard to the 1950s vibe of the place. It's not that hard.

>> No.10171848

Really? I feel like sweet would still stick out like a sore thumb.

>> No.10171959

Lol I'm in that comm....... Is there drama occuring that I'm not aware of?

>> No.10171967

>classic lolita
Anon asked about gothic lolita though, not completely different styles that also sometimes come in black.

>> No.10172075

They want to know what's going on for ild. We have a twinning tea party and it's sold out. The end. Nothing exciting or dramatic.

>> No.10172097

it was one of her friends who started this I'm pretty sure

believe me the LA comm aint shit

>> No.10172121
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How about a Wednesday Addams sort of look? She’s a 1950s/60s goth.

>> No.10172149 [DELETED] 

>Something you can treat with waxing strips or nair from Walmart

Fucking stupid

>> No.10172231

How was the London meet? I didn't go due to costs but I'd like to know

>> No.10172246 [DELETED] 

you can't remove male facial hair entirely from waxing or nair. for any guy, shaving everyday is a ritual to prevent shadow from re-appearing. for guys who wear lolita, it's dysphoric.

>> No.10172310 [DELETED] 

imagine begging for money for hair removal, holy shit this is embarrassing.

>> No.10172318

i'm bummed. not only is twinning rough in general for a bunch of newfags but the limited seating also blows. i wish we could've have a better event for such an important day

>> No.10172322 [DELETED] 

then pay for your own shit like everyone else instead of wasting money on burando then crying about your money mismanagement. why do trannies always think it's acceptable for them to shamelessly beg?

>> No.10172361

Should I try hosting one??? I've only been to one meet but I'm really excited to host something, is this my time to shine or is it too late?

>> No.10172362 [DELETED] 

There are salons that focus on waxing male facial hair. They would grow back thinner and less frequently without a 3500 price tag.

>> No.10172394

Stop throwing options. They're all awful, let's stop bullshitting that it can work for all types of lolitas.
How would sweet stick out for Midsummer night's dream? There are so many types of woodland prints in sweet.

>> No.10172399 [DELETED] 

I have PCOS and have facial hair problems. I've easily spent 2k$ on electrolysis over the past couple years and will probably spend another 2k$ before I'm done. I've kind of just accepted that I will always have some facial hair and that I will just have to shave every day. It's a long ordeal and really frustrating but I wouldn't call it a medical procedure and no health insurance is going to cover it. I have mixed feelings on someone else with a similar problem taking donations to cover it tho :/

>> No.10172401 [DELETED] 

Fuck that. Men have more earning potential, go beg somewhere else or beg from men.

>> No.10172402 [DELETED] 

Here's some painful facts: the NHS covers hair removal for trans, but not for women with PCOS. Because you'll always get the short end of the stick and people born male will always get priority.

>> No.10172484

yes please do it!!!!

>> No.10172500

Well that's bullshit.

>> No.10172517 [DELETED] 
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>> No.10172519 [DELETED] 

Lmafo, wtf I believed you the first time. I'm saying that the fact it's true is bullshit in and of itself.

>> No.10172550 [DELETED] 

This is not considered healthcare, you dolt. It’s cosmetic, for appearances. If you want something that bad then either work your ass off and save up for it or sell off your brand. This is so disgustingly tacky and entitled.

>> No.10172562

I've been there before and although its kitschy cute, it was actually kind of dirty. I wouldn't want to wear a nice brand dress there.

>> No.10172590

I forgot modship is a beauty contest. If it weren't for her nothing would happen in LA

>> No.10172844
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Well my coord is ready to go!

>> No.10172848

This. I want to move back to California but I damn well know my comm days are over with k8 being the butthole magnet there

>> No.10172876

I wanted to go to my local comms ILD but its bumming me out that they only do sweet themes

>> No.10172877

eh I mean arent there the other comms out in socal?

>> No.10172879

K8 moved back to PGH, anon. You're safe to return.

>> No.10173049

not only that but she has also managed to become a trash *edgy* pastel gothic thing

>> No.10173056

Someone got very drunk and the organizer had to pay an extra £70 at the end because not enough people turned up. The waitress seemed really inattentive and rude. Otherwise, the food was very nice.

>> No.10173057

>There are so many types of woodland prints in sweet.
you act as if everyone would just show up on theme for this shit.

>> No.10173341

>Someone got very drunk
I heard they almost got kicked out

>> No.10173342

Top bants

>> No.10173350

Nayrt but it was embarrassing. When she tried being all tough by chugging the bottle I cringed.

>> No.10173366

london comm is a bunch of fucking chavs in frilly dresses

>> No.10173381

More like a load of middle class bitches pretending they're relatable

>> No.10173384

Most chavs are less embarrassing than that girl. There's nothing more annoying than idiots who try to flex and completely fail.

>> No.10173385

>middle class bitches pretending they're relatable
90% of lolitas desu

>> No.10173389

It's not the first time she's done it. Apparently she did it at the November meet too.

>> No.10173394

Relatable to who?

>> No.10173399

You need to be middle class and up to even be able to do lolita in the first place.

>> No.10173417

It was a bottomless brunch, who wouldn’t drink and get their money’s worth?

Most of the girls were tipsy and it was one of the funnest meets I’ve been to. Live a little.

>> No.10173425

She got so drunk that we were cut off, or were you too drunk to remember? There's fun tipsy and then there's losing your shoes and becoming an embarrassing mess. It doesn't have to be a contest to see who can drink the most. I'd rather not have potentially babysit my fellow comm members.

>> No.10173446

This is completely untrue, don’t spread lies just to start drama anon

>> No.10173447

This! And it was some kind of wine restaurant so who wouldn’t take advantage of that? It was a good night.

>> No.10173606

Getting trashed is not always the appropriate thing to do. Do you go to a buffet and eat until you puke too?

>> No.10173828

Yikes, that sounds kind of cheap and trashy, anon. Do you stuff a bunch of buffet foods in your purse too?

>> No.10174022

Only the condiments, duh.

>> No.10174100

My comm has a good ILD theme this year: “A Midsummer Nights Dream.” I’m glad it’s not too sweet which can definitely be a problem in a lot of comms.

Share your comms theme? Curious what everyone else is doing.

>> No.10174161

Only salt. If you don't have salt packets in your purse you're automatically ita
No exceptions

>> No.10174167

>not naturally producing your own salt
Kek we know who the real ita is.

>> No.10174226

Wow, you sound like a stuck up bitch anon. Who doesn't love bottomless mimosas?

>> No.10174231
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You guys sure sound like the life of the party

>> No.10174246

KEK ya got me

>> No.10174641
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I really miss the lolita community in the large city where I used to live. I miss being around girls who were older and closer to my age and well dressed. I know it sounds snooty, but I don't mean to be.

I am a lone lolita in my immediate area, but there are two comms over an hour away. They have meets for ILD, but I don't really want to go. It's a lot of effort to get dolled up and drive for two hours for a meet where girls are arguing that print replicas are fine and how they would never spend more than $20 for a blouse. It's also awkward to be in public with a group of lolitas who don't care about basic etiquette when interacting with normies or anyone else for that matter.

I'm sorry for being elitist. I just wish my old comm wasn't so far away.

>> No.10174651

how’s the Boston Comm in general? are they accepting to males who wear the fashion?

>> No.10174655

>are they accepting to males who wear the fashion?
If you have to ask, the answer is no, you degenerate.

>> No.10174741 [DELETED] 

"As those of you who know me I have always felt so out of place with my gender due to my facial hair. I legitimately do not feel comfortable unless i am wearing a ton of color corrector and foundation. I want to feel comfortable and safe in my skin and want to fully feel like a woman on the outside.

Found a place in Beverly Hills that specializes in helping out trans and non binary electrolysis services.
Amount will be updated as I get more info

I know this is a bit silly and selfish ,but I need this and would be so appreciative of any help you could provide.


Sounds pretty weird if her friend started it, unless she asked her to write that for her or something, but it honestly just looks like J Chan started this gofundme and just some friend.

>> No.10174742

*and not just some friend.

>> No.10174800

what world do you live in where middle and upper class people don't drink alcohol or party

>> No.10174805

maybe you should have gone to college and gotten trashed in an appropriate setting with friends instead of embarrassing strangers in public. you can party without being an embarrassment who needs to be cut off.

>> No.10174808

>I legitimately do not feel comfortable unless i am wearing a ton of color corrector and foundation. I want to feel comfortable and safe in my skin
join the club, it's called "being ugly". just because you decided you're a woman doesn't mean people owe it to you to make you a beautiful one

>> No.10174812

what kind of low class poorfag hears "wine restaurant" and thinks "time to get wasted"? learn to drink with class

>> No.10174849

Inb4 all the fat lolitas start trying to crowdfund liposuction and weight loss surgery

>> No.10174865
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When even your mod doesn’t know how to work out the theme of your comm’s ILD

tf is diner-kei you guys

>> No.10174936

Imo the most embarrassing part was when one of the girls started rolling up her dress and petticoat with her feet on the seat to do what seemed like a strip tease in front of the waitress and the kitchen? So embarrassing! The organising told her to stop, iirc, but she didn’t really calm down. It’s people like that that give this fashion a bad name.

>> No.10175069
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>mods only bother to host two events a year which is ILD, which has been progressively getting worse while ticket prices are still inflated for inferior quality of venues/food options (most likely being pocketed for profit by the mods)
>>expects ass pats from the rest of the community anyway

>> No.10175088

LA comm has really gone down the shitter these last few years.

>> No.10175146

i don't think its elitist to not want to be with embarassing people in public
that sounds like a great theme! not sure if we have a theme but its something really bland like just ott or something if there is one

>> No.10175162

Receipts? Otherwise you’re just speculating and that’s some boring ass tea.

>> No.10175215

It’s simple math. Just count how much tickets they sell ( tho I’m p sure they’re gonna undersell ), then contact the venue and ask for the same venue rent cost for the same amount of people. If the math doesn’t check out then they’re overcharging.

>> No.10175372

Do many comms have a questionnaire to fill out before people can join the comm, and how strict are mods in evaluating the answers? My comm has a short questionnaire with questions like
>How did you discover lolita fashion
>What is your favorite lolita substyle
>Do you have a favorite brand
>Do you currently wear lolita fashion
>If yes, how long have you been wearing it
>If no, are you planning to start wearing it in the near future
with the intention of only letting people join if they know what lolita fashion is and are at the very least planning to wear it. Yet we still regularly get new members who clearly have no idea what lolita is. Some of them are cosplayers who think that it’s a type of cosplay, “admirers” who just want to observe without participating or complete randos who think our comm is the right place to discuss their love of Hello Kitty, Disney princesses, My Little Pony or anything else girly and colorful. One of these girls actually got snippy and rude on a discussion post because other comm members kept using strange acronyms she didn’t understand like OP and BtSSB instead of talking about their favorite princesses like she wanted. How do these people find our page and how do they keep getting past the mods? The most annoying thing is probably that being super ignorant about lolita isn’t actually agains the rules, so once they’re in the mods can’t just kick them out again. So now we have to put up with a bunch of idiots going “Uhh what is an JSK? That dress reminds me of Pinkie Pie LMAO xD” in our new purchases thread and other places. We point them to the FAQ but that doesn't help if they don't care to learn.

>> No.10175374

Most comms have a questionnaire but it sounds like your mods aren't doing a good job

>> No.10175376

This... This must be fake. This can't be real. Pics or it didn't happen.

>> No.10175384

NAYRT but I saw it too, the kitchen was right next to our table so it’s not as exhibitionist as it seems. But it was still shocking. Wish I’d got pics. The organizer really did tell her off too. It was very embarrassing. I think the girl had too much to drink.

>> No.10175520

So did you do this?

>> No.10175527

I'm kind of...you know...waiting for the event to happen so I know the actual total attendance you fuck wad.

>> No.10175578

My comm has three questions. Where do you live, do you wear or intend to wear lolita, and what's your favorite substyle. So far, the worst we've gotten is a couple of itas but never total randoms.

>> No.10175678

It seems like the LA ild summer meets have to be in shitty venues with questionable food choices. Last years was that run down event hall in some park with carered kbbq. I’m really disappointed with the quality decline of the ilds over the past years.

>> No.10175725

You should hide some kind of catch phrase within the wording of the FAQ. something the new lolitas would have to quote when they try to join. The only way they would know the phrase (or even know to quote it in the first place) is if they have read the FAQ.
No quote, no entry. No exceptions.

>> No.10175742

She's not taking part in organizing the ILD meet at all. She stepped away from her mod duties for a couple years now?

>> No.10175759

I thought the korean catering was very good in comparison to most food options in the past...

>unless you are that one shitty vegan everyone was laughing at

>> No.10175761


You might already be able to calculate this now, by asking the venue directly, how much it costs for food for one person, any rental fee charged for renting out a section of the restaurant for the same duration as the proposed ILD event, whether the rental fee can be waived if a certain minimum amount of spending is met, and so on. Add in tip. Then divide that total with the current ticket cost. If the number that comes out seems like a buttload of attendees that simply isn’t possible (for example the restaurant has only one special room to reserve for a large events, and the number is nowhere close to the seating capacity of that room), then there is reason to believe that something shady is going on.

If you are extremely skeptical of any ILD event with a high price point and want to make your own, start calling up venues and pelt them with the same set of questions, so that you can organize your own. I recommend doing this at least 3 months in advance if you live in a city (5 months is recommended if it is a large city).

The annoying thing about both ILDs is that for June all the restaurants are expecting wedding receptions due to June brides, and for December the same places expect company Christmas parties. So expect some bafflement or annoyance from restaurant booking staff. Just keep it clinical and business-like, with price points as your main focus. Only after you agree on price and make the booking, will you really be able to start planning decorations, gift bags, any donations from the community or local artists for raffles, etc.

>> No.10175765


As someone who was part of the LA comm for several years, I've seen several waves of community engagement. We had it easy when AX wasn't as big as it is now and had an actual fashion program. PMX was also amazing with fashion guests and events. Lolitas pretty much held up that con until the fashion organizers decided to depart the defunct con. There were casual meets (remember those Griffith Park picnics?) in between because we had those larger con events to look forward to. Then we had Fairytale Boutique and the comm started to depend on their monthly meets. People started complaining there weren't any other meets but never took action to set one up themselves during those 3 years.

Now we have mods who are trying to host large ILDs for the benefit of the comm. Don't like the theme? Don't like the price? Don't go. Set up your own meet. I've been a part of other comms and I can say, the veterans are leaving because they don't want to deal with all the complaints and drama from younger comm members who don't want take charge and just depend on others while shitting on their efforts.

>> No.10175766

the lighting sucks but this place actually looks pretty cool! I'd go to this event if I lived on the west coast. it's the people who make the event anyway. I think it's a cute space, though it'll be hard to have anything other than a localized convo with your boothmates.

>> No.10175777
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yea i have seen cute photoshoots here by cosplayers

>> No.10175800

All the photos I've seen there are grainy and overexposed to make up for the shitty lighting though

>> No.10175807

God this is true. Anytime anyone bitches about "boo hoo i hate the ILD meet up theme or format" or anything else I'm like then do your own? Most of these comms are huge and can support *multiple* events. PUT UP OR SHUT UP. Jesus. I organize exactly one local meetup a year for my comm b/c I don't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with this crap. Don't like it? Please for the love of god don't come.

>> No.10175822

Okay samefag.

I was pleased with the korean food too. I like variety instead of tea houses every single fucking time. Tea parties are nice but tea parties all the time? No.

Anyway, we don’t know if they’re renting out the whole restaurant or not. Why would I pay $65 for a meal thats just $20? The restaurant is also small meaning they can’t fit a huge group. Where is all the extra money going to? They’re not paying the sponsors for the raffle. The sponsors are donating them for nothing in return (except for advertisement I guess??).

I don’t mind paying out of the ass for extravagant events. What I mind is paying the price of an extravagant event for something that a poorfag can afford.

You’re also talking about how the community was back then. I stanned for this community when it got shit. I loved the LA community but I can’t deny that it is now shit.

>> No.10175838

Don’t forget even if the meal itself is a fraction of the event price, they’re renting out a restaurant for several hours. It’s not like hey let’s all just show up at this restaurant and only pay for our meal and sit and take up space for four hours. Venues have to make up the loss of regular customers during those hours while also paying all the employees and waitstaff.

>> No.10175844

>host a meet yourself!"
This is the standard answer from the LA comm mods. Nevermind that you might be new to the community and nobody knows you. Or that you might simply suck at organizing.

>> No.10175851

You don’t have to host a ILD sized meet ya know. New Lolitas can organize smaller meets on their own. Lots of people traveling out of state or even out of country contact local comms to set up informal meets. If you suck at organizing then find someone who can help with that? If you suck at socialing that’s not the mods or the comm’s responsibility.

>> No.10175852
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Not related to LA at all but I've hosted meetups where venues had to be rented before and this is a huge consideration for price. If you don't believe it, then call the venue yourself and ask how much it costs to rent the place for a couple hours. You don't even need to know how many specific people are going like the excuse >>10175527 made, if its as small a restaurant as >>10175822 said you can assume the venue is being rented out in its entirety. Once you get the price, assume the organizers realize they probably won't sell out of tickets and conservatively estimate how many people would be interested and buy tickets, and as soon as you can minimally recoup the reservation cost, you have your ticket price.

I'm not anywhere near your comm but this kind of bitching and tinfoiling ("the mods must be pocketing the money!!!") is why no one likes hosting meetups for lolitas

>> No.10175864

The nice venue meets in the LA comm are for mods and their friends only, like the easter one they had.

I bet the diner is this years choice because mods bought the related AP releases. Now they want to take some pictures and sponsor it through the poor/newfags that fall for this since its the first meetup in a while.

>> No.10175866

Those aren’t comm “meets” then, they’re private get togethers with friends who happen to also dress Lolita. How dare they not invite the whole comm to a cafe or venue with limited space.

>> No.10175869

>Private get togethers of 10+ people who all wear lolita to a specified venue with a theme.
Sounds like New York comm lol!

>> No.10175883

I mean who’d want itas at their nice event haha

>> No.10175941

>what is making friends and having fun?

>> No.10175974

We are too old to deal with that shit

>> No.10175977

Too old to have friends and fun?

>> No.10175992

you can't make friends and have fun while still being more inclusive?

>> No.10176022

So you just gonna go up to random groups of friends hanging out and complain that you ain't invited.

>> No.10176066

This is why lolita is dying.

>> No.10176100

Wouldn’t be surprised if their nonsponsored donations they’ve been posting lately is unwanted crap from the mods that they’re too lazy to get rid of themselves because

>> No.10176125

damn, did they run out of cannoli?

>> No.10176242

Not LA but my comm’s mods used to do this thing where they created an event page for a meetup with such limited spots that they’d instantly be filled by themselves and their friends, so even people who replied within seconds were told
>oh we’re already full, sorry :(
>we can put you on the waiting list just in case someone drops out tho
but of course no one ever dropped out. Then later they’d post to social media about what a great time they had at the [area] Lolita Community meetup. I never understood why they went through the trouble of making community event pages if they only wanted to hang out with their friends. Just make plans privately like normal people and spare the rest of us the notifications.

>> No.10176263

Everyone gets invites

>> No.10176274

gulls please help me out. I just recently moved from the south to the northeast. The Facebook communities up here were dead when I had a facebook and the animo group is also lack luster is replying if not nonexistent.

Basicly, how do I revive the PA com?
Is it even worth saving?

>> No.10176304

what PA Comm are you in: PGH Lolitas, Harrisburg Comm, or Frilladelphia?

>> No.10176308

Harrisburg. I wish I lived in Philly or Pitts at least those comms seem to be more active.

>> No.10176320

Have you messaged the Admin of the Harrisburg Comm?

If all else fails, I would join Charm City. It's close by and more active. There is also Frilladelphia that you could join.

>> No.10176336

It takes a stupid amount of money to rent venues in LA and OC, and that's not including the cost of catering. Unless you already had a connection to a nice space, any catered event for 60-100 people will easily cost 3k-6k.

source: wedding

inb4 that's the inflated wedding tax, that would of been 5k-10k.

>> No.10176342

As someone that hosts events for a living, this is true.

>> No.10176886

If the LA mods are so adamant in defending their reasoning for having shitty venues for public events but suddenly the issues of venues don’t apply to their friends-only *ahem* I mean friend hanging out days, then they should at least make up better excuses for it. Seriously either put up or shut up. You old hags are just too bitter to relinquish the power to other members who would put more effort than twice a year to hold together one of the country’s biggest communities instead of coming here to white knight yourselves every time someone tries to give real criticism , because the fact is no one is happy with the way things have been for the past few years. Everyone is tired of hearing the same old bullshit excuses time after time, the only ones who can’t smell it is you guys because your noses are covered in so much shit from each other’s asses to properly read a room.

>> No.10176892

Lol chill

>> No.10176896

nayrt but i can understand organizing private events. while i agree that if an event is posted in the comm page, then that means anyone can go.

but i've organized meets myself where i didn't account for the number (went from 15 rsvps the week before to 24 people showing up the day of) and it really ruined the experience because of the stress of trying to find more tables for people that decide to show up last minute. especially when i had told the comm that the tea room i had booked for us was small and going to be busy day (two other private parties were going on). several of the people who attended didn't bother to greet me either, and as an organizer I think that's pretty fucking rude.

one of my friends organized a late-night potluck and tried to limit the attendees to 8 because it was at a house. a couple of the people who attended were not part of the 'friend group' and one of them made a complete fool of themselves; they made a mess of the dessert display and had the nerve to start adding alcohol to my drink when i told the group i wasn't having any (i looked at them and took my drink and emptied it into the sink, i was left alone after that). and the more drunk they got, the more they started oversharing about their life and had to get picked up by their bf. the worst part is that this person continued to show up to meets that my friend organized until she felt uncomfortable and decided to only host private meets from now on.

having exclusive meets aren't a bad thing. it only takes one shitty person (or a handful in some cases) to derail a nice event, so yeah, a smaller group that is manageable can be a good thing. but if it's going to be a 'friends-only' thing, there's no need to post that on the comm page.

>> No.10176915

Personally, I have never seen a private event posted to a comm page. If it is on the comm page, it is open to everyone. Some of these people are complaining about not being invited to groups of friends hanging out. They only know because people post to their insta and personal Facebook.

What I don't understand is, why don't people host their own events? I'm not a mod, and I certainly don't think I'm popular or super well known... Yet I host a few times a year? Mods are always cool with it, and appreciate people in the comm participating in this way. It isn't easy, people are flakes... It's just worth it to me to attempt. So anytime I hear complaints about mods and reasons why they won't host a meet, I think it is BS.

Oh well

>Inb4 someone calls me a mod

>> No.10176921

Make your own meetups, anon. That'll show them.

>> No.10176986

Nah I’m too old for this shit.

>> No.10177035

So you’re calling the mods old bitter hags, and you say you’re too old for this shit. Sure. Go set up a small private meet with 3 of your lolita friends.

Back on topic, Portland’s ILD theme of A Very Merry Unbirthday looks super cute! Seems versatile as a theme. There’s always classic Alice to gothic queen of hearts, but I could see any bizarro prints working too.

>> No.10177038

the people defending it in this thread as "just having fun" are so embarrassing. it's so embarrassing when kids who don't know how to drink because they have no other social life go out and get wasted. This is why older lolitas want to hang out together

>> No.10177042

these are always stupid. most mature human beings can scan rules or not even need to read rules if they have a basic understanding of what should be acceptable in a group. i didn't bother reading my comm's rules until i was going to make my own post because most community rules are just common sense. putting a secret passphrase in there is elementary school dumbassery

>> No.10177061

yeah my thing with private vs. public comm meet is when it involves numbers - like the organizer may want to invite 10 people (doesn't necessarily have to be their friends only) and then people are asses and decide they can suddenly come over after an rsvp or expected guests have already been established. and desu people shouldn't be complaining about not being invited to every lolita event - to my understanding you're referring to people that post to their own pages and not the comm in that instance.

i'm not a mod either and when i was still active on various social media i used to organize large meets atleast a few times a year. i dont feel that i had a lot of attendance because i was popular - most of the time i'd aim for 4-6 weeks of prior notice plus picked places that were accessible. i agree 1000% with you on that - the people who bitch the most about meets rarely host any of their own, because then they would know what a pain it can be to organize one and would appreciate the people that feel its worth it to them

>> No.10177088

>most mature human beings
This really depends on your community and how much cringe it contains.

>> No.10177091

lol chill bruh

>> No.10177155

Everyone is going to keep arguing semantics, but what I am trying to say is this:

People who are hanging out with their friend group, who also wear lolita, is NOT a private meet.

I am not sure why people keep calling them meets??

>> No.10177447

Because it is? There is a difference between going out for dinner with my 3 friends and planning an Halloween themed meet with ppl I know only from the comm.

>> No.10177669

So you are saying people don't become friends with the people they meet in comm?

>> No.10178354

I love the girls in my comm but I wish we didn't have such a high percentage of guys coming..
especially at small meets we can have as many girls there as gross old dudes, not even wearing EGL or Ouji, just some vaguely historically inspired bullshit
makes me sick and not wanna come desu. The "trans girls" (guys) don't make me any more comfortable, I feel like only one of them might be legit, the other trannies act like sissies or talk about sexual shit
Our comm leader is a sweetheart but she might be too naive or doesn't see the issue because she condones guys getting into our comm
I just wanna hang out with other women interested in the same hobby, not some guys who can't hold a fucking conversation about the fashion

>> No.10178419

I don’t necessarily mind men in lolita but it sucks that so many of them can’t hold conversations like normal adults. We have one male ouji and one brolita who actually make an effort and clearly care about the fashion and a few tag along SO’s who are pretty cool, but other than that all the men who join our comm only seem to be there because they heard there’d be girls. Just recently I got stuck next to a guy in a thrift store vest and Tripp pants who spent the entire time playing some waifu dress up game on his phone except for that one moment where he whined about not having a gf. He was like a talking meme. I already spend too much of my time at work coddling socially awkward male coworkers so it’s extra annoying to have to deal with this shit on the weekends too.

>> No.10178495

I'm skipping it this year. Please report back and let us know how it went

>> No.10178545

Any Dutch lolita here think it's creepy that guy offered his house to us? Does that guy wear lolita? I've never seen him before. Now I feel bad for the lolitas in that area, they seem excited about having a meet nearby.

>> No.10178546

Imo the person who organises a meet should make a rule about attendees wearing lolita/ouji/ega and not allow people who don't wear it, even if it's a beautiful historical costume it does not belong at a lolita meet.

>> No.10178668

I’ve seen him once and he has at least one coord. It’s the guy who stripped down to his underwear in the middle of a park at a picknick meet because there were no public toilets to change in. Multiple people told him this before we left for the park and said it would be better to get changed in the train station toilets but he refused. He seems like a creep and I hope no one goes to his house.

>> No.10178670

i think people refer to them as meets mostly because the friends they made are probably from their comm; like i have several groups of friends but there's a small group of friends i met through the comm and we organize get togethers privately. i think people are used to referring to hangouts with other lolitas as meets, but you have a point - if you're not "meeting" new people maybe refraining from calling your private hangouts a meet would help people differentiate

>> No.10179418

What the fuck? I never heard about that. Why did he need to change in the first place? It does kind of explain why he offered his house for toilet(changing room) though.

>> No.10179432

No I’m saying there is different levels of friendship that exist. But also I purposely make private events without members of my comm I don’t like because I can.

>> No.10179666

I heard he said he was afraid of getting stabbed if he wore lolita from his house to the train station. But having a lolitas come to his house would be fine apparently?

>> No.10179966

....relinquish power? literally just make a meetup, what is stopping you?

>> No.10180463

So we tapped a new Admin for our Comm. They are a TERF and are messaging me questions about targeting certain members. The questions are basically about whether I feel comfortable around this lolita or not and how I would rate their coords. They explained that they want have a safe environment for the community.

However, I learned that any brolita will be kicked out even if a single member complains. This means that if a brolita has done great coords, but one member thinks it’s shit, then the brolita is kicked out. We have another member who is also a TERF...she posted a meme about the Holocaust and how trans people need to be gassed.

>> No.10180695

I believe he is not allowed to wear it or something like that. Also way too afraid that people will see him. Some
Locals already commented that they would not like to walk around in Lolita where he lives.
I hope no one decides to go to his place. This guy is a first class creep. He has commented weird philosophical stuff about fairies in the group in the past.

>> No.10180709

I walked around in the city his house is in, in lolita, multiple times. The supermarket I used to go to is even in his specific neighborhood and I've always been fine.

>> No.10180722

I hate guys who do this. Fuck off, no one in the comm is going to date your crusty goodwill-clad greasy ass

>> No.10180723

I don’t bother with most of my comm‘s meets anymore, because the high percentage of guys really makes me uncomfortable. I have a huge problem with people staring at me, laughing at our group and taking pictures without asking. And not like far away pictures, no, I‘m talking shoving their cameras in my face on an escalator, just one step higher than me. I know that’s a me problem, but I feel like all the guys in historical outfits and sweet dresses gather more attention and it’s just too stressful to handle. I just want to meet with well dressed girls, get some nice tea and good food and chat about new releases or everyday life stuff. No creepy conversations about sex lifes, cute anime girls or whatever.
I mean, they are all nice and I can talk about video games with them, but it’s just not what I want from a meet. I can’t bring myself to talk about this topic with our mod or other girls though, cause I think they genuinely enjoy our meets.
Sorry for blog posting, I just wanted to share my feels with someone who can relate. I hope things get better in your comm anon!

>> No.10180930
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Any advice on how to spark life into a dying comm? Are more meet-ups the way to go? Or is there any better way to do it? Is it better to give up?

My comm is dying big time and I'm at a loss on how to make it at least a bit more lively again

>> No.10180970
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>> No.10180998

Why do I get the feeling he is going to have a camera in the bathroom to watch people change? Either way I hope no one goes to his.

>> No.10181038


>> No.10181048

This sounds fake as fuck. Trans activists are the ones posting violent shit about gassing people.

>> No.10181666

I didn’t even think of that. No way am I ever getting changed or using the bathroom in some creepy guy’s house.

>> No.10182191


>> No.10182201

>Meet on Sat
>Gained 15lb
>All my nicest stuff doesn't fit
>Prissy cunt that drove me out of my comm is going to be there
Gonna need whatever good vibes I can get, but I swear if shit goes down like the last time I'll crush her under my fat ass.

>> No.10182275

Bullshit. The things trans activists say to anybody that challenges them (at least only the women who challenge them) are unacceptable. They literally go around threatening death on all those that oppose them with the whole "punch a terf" war cry. I'm sure the opposite is true.

>> No.10182428

Every group of people has loud crazy people that send death threats

>> No.10182430

I've worn lolita in Hoorn too. No comments from normies at all. Didn't know there were other lolitas in that area besides me. He looks kind of old so I don't see why he wouldn't be allowed to wear what her wants.

>> No.10182441

There’s probably someone in the comm that everyone hates, suppressing attendance and forcing cliques to emerge.

>if you haven’t heard about someone, it’s probably you

>> No.10182464

The only time my comm has ever in its entire history had a member who stalked and threatened to assault and kill other members it was a MtF trans person and not only did it take way too long for the mods to finally ban them, people still talk about them like it was a normal girl who did those things. Because telling girls that you'll make them choke to death on your dick is such a typically female thing to do, I guess.

>> No.10182620

>It's probably you
I tend to disagree.
If anon is newer to to comm or not really involved with anyone, it's more likely that they just don't want to talk drama and turn away someone that wasn't involved in it.

>> No.10182622

which comm?

>> No.10182699

Are you the anon from the last thread whose mod pushed you out of the comm because they thought you stole her boyfriend? If so, what happened?

>> No.10182735

I've honestly given up with my comm and prefer to just hang out with a few close friends once in awhile. Makes brunch and dinner reservations easier anyways, most places in my city require event deposits for over 10 people. Tired of no-shows and low turnouts (especially at non-reservation meets). Our usual one big yearly meet didn't even get any traction this year for some reason.

>> No.10182818

Oh god I hate no-shows for reservations. Just update your goddamn status on Facebook whether you’re going or not. I’m glad my comm has a rule that if you make a habit of flaking out you may be removed from the comm, but I doubt anybody is making a tally.

I’m never doing a group restaurant reservation again unless people pay me a deposit first. It’s embarrassing when only five out of twenty show up, and the waiter is pissed at you for taking empty tables that she could have made money on. I can never show my face at that one nice Italian place ever again. I’m going to stick to just organizing meets at cafes and museums.

>> No.10182891

Nope, haven't whined about it here for at least a year or better.

>> No.10183301

I don’t know how old he is, but that is what he has said himself. He couldn’t wear Lolita in his home town and id I remember the reasons were his family and the hostile environment in Hoorn. That is why even though people told him multiple times where he could get dressed, he ended up dressing up on the spot. As in literally on the blanket were we were setting up our picknick.
This guy is weird as fuck! He has posted several weird comments in the facebook group, stuff about us being sweet fairies and such. The guy is a creep and I would avoid him at all costs. I don’t know why he is still in the group.

>> No.10184037

Anyone attend the LA diner event and have any feedback? How was the attendance and overall attendee crowd and was the lighting as bad as the photos?

>> No.10184051


>> No.10184243

Stop bringing up Chicago, we literally had a meetup today.

>> No.10184301

My comm defaulted and had one of their shitty karaoke meet ups for ILD where only the old bats came put to stroke each other’s dicks and sang garbage Japanese songs even though most of them are Chinese or Caucasian.

Wish they’d hurry up and retire out of the fashion. It’s like all the admins do is just organize meets for themselves.
>inb4 “host your own meets”
I already have but the admins strong arm the comm into choosing sides by posting passive aggressive posts on the group page about “anyone is welcome to host their own meets but we won’t go unless we host them” and then make other comm members feel awkward at one of their meets if they chose to attend someone else’s. They also scheduled a few meets at the same time/day.

>> No.10184312

The shit about the admins is garbage anon but aside from that you sound really unfun, its just karaoke. Are you not allowed to wail anime bullshit drukn if you aren't GRORIOUS NIHONJIN???

>> No.10184315

BUTU ALL DEH SINGU ISU JAPONEEESUUUUU lol but in all seriousness they skipped over songs other people picked because they “didn’t like it” which was upsetting since we all paid to be there.

Karaoke meets can be fun but when it’s every other meet, it gets rather boring. And they pick places where there’s no alcohol soooo

>> No.10184321
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Ok nevermind that meet sounds like bullshit. Carry on, gull.

>> No.10184326

With Street Fashion Europe’s yearly event now being more exclusive to European and past attendees, could the North American comms get together to organize a large Street Fashion North America yearly event? The SFE annual event always looks so amazing

>> No.10184417

>have largeish ILD meet with a mingling area and a seating area.

>All Asians segregate themselves to their own table and barely interact with others, some mostly speak their own language.

>Wtf is the point of going to this huge meet then? Some of those girls had no problem not segregating at small meets. There's nothing wrong having your own friends and speaking to each other in your native language, I have those too, but I wouldn't segregate us at a large social function and alienate others...

>> No.10184458

Sounds like LA comm. One time, I got there late and the only spot available was at the Chinese table. It was incredibly awkward.

>> No.10184490

They sold out on tickets but there was plenty of space to walk around and take pictures. The lighting wasn't amazing in most areas but I think I got pictures that turned out okay. I think the restaurant should set up at least one kitchy table just for taking pictures at tho cause most of the ones I took ended up having the rest of the restaurant in the bg and it wasn't super cute.
Eating a burger in lolita was absolutely horrifying desu and I'm not sure I'd want to try that again.
Also we didn't rent out the whole place so there were some normie families staring during different times. And one guy appearantly came up to a table and started taking pictures without asking even. I'm not surprised this happened with the way things were set up though.

>> No.10184492

There’s a reason SFE operates well in ways that a NA event would not be able to. First, Europe is full of beautiful venues that are affordable and fancy- dime a dozen in castles and buildings with gorgeous architecture. NA is pretty specific in where you’d find a place like that, that the average working lolita can afford to attend. Second, travel is so so so accessible for SFE! Due to the location of the countries the event is in, lolitas (minus the ones NOT from Europe) can easily take a train from one location to another in a couple of hours. NA? Not so much- flights, hotel, rental cars or Uber/lyft add up to a pretty penny. Third, there’s a lot of traveling and semi “vacation” time you can take while in Europe- there’s a lot of things to do and see within reasonable travel. NA? Again, we have really specific areas for touristy stuff, and they vary based on where you are.

Just a basic rundown. Would love to see and attend a big NA event, but honestly not seeing it happen unless someone really wants to empty out their bank account and get things set up for it to happen.

>> No.10184493

Wait people really do this?? What’s the point of going to a Lolita meetup then if you’re just gonna talk in your own language? Why not just meetup with those people only?

>> No.10184494

Because then people bitch about you being exclusive.

No one’s happy in this damn fashion.

>> No.10184496

Because you want to enjoy the event, the photos, the activities but find it hard to speak English.

>> No.10184497

There's a good amount of Chinese language only comms in the US near major cities now. They're all on weibo or something. I only found out about it recently because they held an event in my local area and needed to sell some more seats so they opened it to the normal comm.

>> No.10184500

There was literally three separate ILD meets in the area though, I don't think anyone would have cared if they had their own.

They could at least fucking try though? I assume they have to speak English at work and school too. Instead of being completely cliquey.

I'm also an immigrant but I find that stuff completely distasteful.

>> No.10184534

Maybe anon was a social retard and the Chinese lolitas just didn't want to talk to her.

>> No.10184590

I am struggling to even think of where would be good in NA besides Quebec or Boston. Unless we wanted to do a grungy oldschool SFNA meet in Detroit or Toledo

>> No.10184609

This. I've sat at a Chinese table at an LA ILD. The girls were sweet and shared their raffle prize goodies with the whole table

>> No.10184616

The Chinese lolitas tend to be way way better dressed than the Amerifats, so I don’t blame them for doing this.

>> No.10184680

>they skipped over songs other people picked because they “didn’t like it”
seriously? they sound like fucking assholes who don't understand the concept of karaoke. which comm is this?

>> No.10184793

The photos I saw my friends post to FB looked really dark, like there were no lights to turn on in the entire building. It seemed like a grimy venue too. I'm beyond glad I didn't go

>> No.10184800

It was rather disappointing considering we all waited our turn and it wasn’t like they picked anything vulgar. But I guess not everyone likes the Spice Girls. I wish I could say but it’s the only comm in my town and I’d hate to be the next victim of their witch hunts. So far they’ve been successfully able to ban two people from attending any events, even ones hosted by guests or conventions. Granted one of them was completely warranted because she would post a lot of comm members on here and on her personal page. Complete with pic and full name. The other was banned because of reasons unknown but my friends and I suspect it’s because she hosted a lot of her own meets and the admin didn’t like that.
>all heil the third ruffle

>> No.10184829

That's bullshit lol, I saw photos and everything looked great.

>> No.10184831

agreed. All the photos looked pretty bad. I don't think it looked grimy so much as dark, which caused the photos to look muddy even with filters. If you're going to pay or charge $60 for a venue, you'd better make sure it's actually good for photos. Any search through that diner's location or tags would show that photos inside there just aren't impressive.

>> No.10184922

Did you see photos with filters that were brightened to hell or what? I'm calling bullshit

>> No.10184977

What meetups do you usually do during your area's tourist season?

We usually don't get much attention or trouble in our area, in the off-season it's not too busy and the locals are generally very kind and leave us alone. This season, not only did tourist season start a few weeks earlier this year, it's crazier than ever. I have a pretty thick skin and I really don't mind being stopped on the street to talk if I'm not in a rush, but it's even wearing me down. Tourists are stranger and ruder than ever this year, I just want to see friends and have a fun without some lads on a summer stag do screaming at us or some Chinese tourists shoving cameras in our faces.

Are we best to just book private function rooms until it dies down? It'd be a shame to delay meets until after the summer, and unfortunately nobody has a house big enough to host privately.

>> No.10184985

Do you folks not have an area that isn’t a touristy area? For example there are quite a few restaurants in my hometown that most tourists won’t go to. One time of my comm members hosted a swap meet/tea party in a rec center. We all paid for admission in advance and she set it up with the help of a few volunteers. That was one of the best meet ups ever. They even put together a photo booth area for us to take coord shots!

>> No.10184989

That sounds so cute! Unfortunately the area is quite dense, so anywhere without tourists is usually bordering on residential. I'll keep looking though, we might find a hidden gem!

>> No.10185020

Any ideas for meets that don't involve going to a restaurant? I figure meeting after lunch and ending the meet before dinner is a good start, but I'm stumped on activities that late 20's-early 30's would find enjoyable that don't revolve around getting shit-faced and fat.
>How do these girls work full time jobs but can't enjoy a ~2 hour meet without going to a bakery, coffee shop, and restaurant/bar in the same outing?

>> No.10185025

People don't just eat/drink for the sake of eating and drinking, they are considered highly social activities in almost every part of the world. It's an opportunity to sit down together in peace and talk. Activities are fun and can be good for bonding, but they usually take energy and focus and if you want to have a completely food and drink free meet you'd need to provide some other opportunity for people to just take it easy and enjoy each other's company. Idk what that would be though. In my city we have boat tours around the archipelago, maybe something like that where people can just sit and talk and enjoy the passing scenery. The boats here usually do serve food and drinks though, so it's likely at least some people would get something to eat or drink.

>> No.10185047


Museums, plays, gardens, zoos, temples, etc -- you could look up the tourist guide to your city and plan a visit to any of the places. Or, something sporty, eg- skating rinks, bowling, futsal, whatever your comm likes.

Alternatively, if you can find a space (eg- somebody's house or rent a studio) then a craft session, cooking sessions, games night, could even play some networked games if you have enough gamers and consoles in your group. It's really no different than planning a non-lolita meetup, you just gotta find something a lot of your comm is interested in.

The thing about food is that everybody eats, and it's a sit-down activity so everyone is grouped together. Whereas with something like plays/musical/theatre/movie, sports or gaming there's usually a portion that aren't interested in it. Cooking and crafting can get pretty messy and usually half the group will be newbies lagging behind while the experienced ones might get bored of the simple stuff. Museums, zoos, temples etc -- a lot of walking through routes, sometimes narrow walkways, generally the group will splinter off and there's bound to be a few that are wondering why even bother with a meetup if everybody splits off and walks away in pairs and small groups anyway.

Plus even with all the activity most people would still grab something to eat either before or after. So, yeah. Eating and drinking is just the most universal activity so it's the easiest to plan around.

>> No.10185292

Yeah, the Chicago posts smell like banned members...

>> No.10185304

If they work full time jobs they obviously don’t have much free time. Asking for 2 hours of their day off is a lot, so it has to be worth it to them. And generally what makes it worth it is food so they don’t have to cook.

>> No.10185344

I agree. I saw some insta photos and the diner looks cute af. Sorry you're all salty gothic fags I guess? All the sweet retro coords knocked it out of the park. I wish my area had a cute diner like that.

>> No.10185356

I'm glad you think excluding two thirds of lolita substyles is an acceptable thing to do. It really goes to show that sweet lolitas are the worst group.

>> No.10185361

Sweet lolita is by far the biggest and most popular substyle, go cry about it.

>> No.10185371

Biggest in terms of fatness too!

>> No.10185373

the gothic lolitas at that meet made it work, so ok???

>> No.10185378


what's up with baninabear crying about not attending? isn't she in LA?

>> No.10185399

Love the theme and everyone looked bomb
The gothic girls that attended were chill af. They honestly don’t give a shit they don’t match the theme. Only one salty is you.

>> No.10185417

>t. LA comm mods

>> No.10185439

Well, Chicago comm has a mega meet every year neighboring State's comms attend. Also people came from all over the US for Paradiso. Can't speak for the south and the coasts, but us Midwest lolitas tend to mingle with other state's comms.

>> No.10185472

Is Paradiso as good as SFE’s event though? The posts about Paradiso make it sound it’s a mediocre event

>> No.10185487

I think CGL will find a reason to hate anything. I had a great time. Yeah the tea party food sucked, but it was great last year so I'm more apt to believe that the caterers fucked up more than the staff did. They seemed just as surprised and disgusted as everybody else.

>> No.10185491


Wish Paradiso was in a better city though. There's honestly not that much to do in KC.

>> No.10185625

Her only "friend" in the area finally left so most likely she had no one to go with

>> No.10185645

I also had a good time and would go back next year. If you aren't good at socializing or making friends you won't have a good time. This is definitely an event where you gotta get out of your shell. I went to make friends and wear OTT and I had a blast doing it.

I wish there was a big west coast event though. Way too many big comms to not have one or the left coast.

>> No.10185659

In the past there was an attempt between my old comm and two other cities to set up a large ILD party. Mistakes were made, and the blame sort of fell on the local comm leaders, who afterwards became mostly inactive in the fashion.

I agree that larger events are possible on the West Coast, but you need a group of mods across multiple comms who are willing to be in constant communication with each other, instead of having the out-of-town comm mods assume that all the local mods will take care of it. Plus someone needs the financial power to pay the costs out of pocket, in case not enough people want to attend the cross-comm event.

>> No.10185761

What mistakes and who was really to blame?

>> No.10185819

>Akron meth and Denny's megameet when

>> No.10185822

The buffet was a logistical cluster. They never posted the menu in advance, which is not a dealbreaker in itself but is definitely nice to know if you have food restrictions. When we got there nothing was labeled, so the same questions for what was vegan/vegetarian/kosher/gluten-free had to be communicated over and over between attendees.

For who actually is at fault? I have no idea at this point because anybody involved has either gone on radio silence or is active in other comms. I highly suspect the organizers couldn’t immediately commit to a venue, because rental costs on everything in the city rose that year. They waited too long to reserve, and the venue that remained, knowing that they were the only place in town still not yet taken by a bridezilla, offered a wedding package deal, with all of the catering, food, photographer, and decorations of a wedding reception, but without the wedding tax, and claimed it was the only service set they offered. The mods, being pressured for time and finding no other options, accepted. Why I think this was a wedding package: one, that venue is a popular wedding venue. Two, the mods’ reserved table, got decorated with a champagne bottle and flutes. (Did I mention, not all attendees got seats?) Three, in the last hour or so, a rep of the venue claimed that they were throwing in DJ music for free, then started playing music. Dude, do you think we want to dance and sweat in our OTT after all this nonsense?

About a fourth of us went to go get ice cream after that. At least that was refreshing.

The moral of the story is: plan at least three months in advance. Securing the venue is the hard part, so do it early. Be flexible in moving the date to the Sunday after ILD, or even the Saturday before. If you are inexperienced with organizing large events, then settle on a smaller group of 20 or even 10. If there are people who bitch and moan (and there WILL be), be honest as possible about the financial situation.

>> No.10186010

I thought meet meant Meetup, not meeting people. Even then, a meeting at work can involve people you already know. All these semantics to say that people ought to use common sense that of course those who know and like each other will do more things together privately. No one is entitled to an invite.

>> No.10186823
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EGL London put in some new rules after the Vinoteca drama. I can understand but also, host meets better and you wouldn’t have these issues.

>> No.10186841

Any news on how the Colossalcon tea went? I didn't manage to get a ticket this year so I had to miss it.

>> No.10186865

Deets? All of those seem like standard rules

>> No.10186880


>> No.10186891

I haven't seen one posted yet this year but last year it was in August

>> No.10186892

Someone got way too drunk at the Vinoteca meet and the host also didn’t take payment upfront and ended up £80 out of pocket because people didn’t meet the minimum spend.

The London comm meets are so disorganised desu, the mods barely host meets and there’s only one other girl that hosts regular mini-meets but she is always late to her own meets, it seems.

I’m torn on the new rule, on one hand I completely agree, but on the other, the comm has a few anti-alcohol girls who think that even being tipsy is hideous and will probably complain.

>> No.10186919

I can understand that being drunk in public is bad, but tipsy? Isn’t that the reason why a wine meetup is made? So that older lolitas can gracefully have a space of their own, separate from younger lolitas who aren’t legal or lolitas who don’t like wine or alcohol in general?

I can see how one person trying to “maximize” bottomless and acting badly is embarrassing, though. Just because it’s bottomless champagne doesn’t mean you also have permission to behave like an idiot.

Generally one has to match one’s behavior to one’s surroundings. I remember in a small meetup at a bar where only 4 showed, we each had 3 cocktails, and we all spoke loudly to each other. But our loudness was out of necessity due to the music at high volume, and other customers also speaking loudly to be heard over music.

>> No.10187717
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I'm interested going to Imperial Garden in Brussels but too skeptical about the tickets being sold a year in advance. Am I just being too paranoid?

>> No.10187757

What comm is this? Is it a large one in a major city?

>> No.10187762

My comm did something similar after apparently someone got arrested.

>> No.10187792

Maybe you could still set up meets regardless of the mods’ presence? I agree that sounds like a pain but I can sort of understand the mods not wanting to attend a meet every single weekend. Though, the attempts of making meets the same day as others’ meets only makes sense, if the city is so large that two meets in two locations is more convenient for everyone. Otherwise it seems petty. I say just continue making small meets of your own without their support!

Our comm’s ILD was nice, with a restaurant downtown (with validated parking!). Funnily enough I too ended up being late and ended up at the Mandarin-speaking table, but everybody there spoke English too, and so there was a healthy mix of both English and Mandarin. They were super sweet and well-dressed! I understand feeling left out if you can’t understand a particular language, but if you make an effort to facilitate conversation in English (like complimenting their coords, it’s really easy!), people will switch to English. Also while it is a good idea to co-mingle and meet new people, it seemed like they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in forever — and at least half the other tables of the mainly English speakers were doing the exact same thing, grabbing tables together with people they already knew! I’m not going to begrudge people for catching up with friends they haven’t see in ages. As long as people strike a healthy balance of catch-up with old friends and conversing with new friends, there is no issue.

>> No.10187831

I wouldn't say she is LA because of how far inland she went to school. plus i think she has friends in the OC comm?

>> No.10187836

>mods barely host meets
What? Maybe you just don't know who the mods are but they host almost everything, including the Vinoteca meet you're talking about. Please don't try to start drama where there isn't any. If they seem so disorganised to you, why don't you try hosting one yourself? People would come.

>> No.10187838

Have a 2 part meet with a co-host where they are in charge of coordinating the eating before or after the activity and then you plan some kind of tour or shopping expedition, concert or activity that you want to plan/attend. Then everyone can choose one or go to both. Lunch or dinner and a movie is a simple one. I often skip the meal but like to go to the movie.

>> No.10187853

There’s only two people who host meets in that comm, so yes, they host some meets. Maybe one meet every 2-3 months, and nothing interesting enough for me to pay for travel into London.

>> No.10187868
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My mistake, I thought you were an actual comm member who had gotten the wrong end of the stick, not a nitpicker from elsewhere. You are completely wrong about hosts by the way. If you don't believe me, take a look at who is hosting upcoming meets and who hosted recent past meets in the EGL London Facebook group. There are at least 5 hosts, three of whom are mods. There has been at least one meet a month for a while, three in April. Perhaps you are thinking of the wrong Facebook group. If the meets are not interesting to you, then that is a pity and as I said earlier, maybe you should host your own.
>but you're not even in London

>> No.10187878

If there's so many anti-alcohol girls there, why'd we go to the pub after the picnic, and alcohol was allowed? Getting tipsy is never a problem, it's crazy levels of intoxication that are.
You don't even go here.

>> No.10187879


Only four meets since January have been hosted by the mods. Six were hosted by one other person, with the odd meet by random comm members.

If the mods want to start blacklisting people, they actually need to run meets to blacklist them from desu.

Also no, I’m outside but I was hoping the main UK comm I was closest to wasn’t shit.

>> No.10187880

If you've never attended, you can't really form an opinion about people you don't know. Come along to a meet, but take the stick out of your ass first. Seems salty to me.

>> No.10187881

she is a bit cringe it seems, so i imagine no one wants to hangout unless efame thirst

>> No.10187885

Goth community has loads of fatties.

>> No.10187888

It's not shit though. It's you who is putting that judgement on us without actually coming to visit. We're happy to come to any meets anyone organizes, we'd love to try new things and meet more people. But in the end, it's you who chooses to attend or not.

>> No.10187889

Not really, I just don’t want to attend meets run by university students who have no idea how to organise anything.

>> No.10187891

Then your opinion really holds no value. Go breathe hot air down some other hole of the internet. No complaints at the last meet, not that you'd know.

>> No.10187902

Then make your own meets. Nobody's forcing you to hang out with us.

>> No.10187944

>3 months in advance

Doesn't seem like enough. I have not planned a wedding but it always seems like invites are 3-6 months in advance so you know brides are booking these things way out, further than that

>> No.10187997

I’m contemplating leaving my comm due to a rearrangement and introduction of new staff. They just put in someone that I personally don’t see as an unbiased and fair mod into the position. I don’t really have any beef with the girl, but she flys off the handle often in RC:U and has a past history of some pretty bad drama in the community. Is it wrong that I feel the community made a bad choice in the new moderation team? I do know she will see this and another one of the mods since they are not shy about posting here, but I really do feel the community is not presenting a good image over all with the mod team currently and I don’t want to be associated with a comm that has a past of moderation issues picking known people with grudges and unfair judgments. I can handle the fact that the comm isn’t the best dressed, but the mod team isn’t exactly the best at managing drama rather stirring it.

>> No.10188039

Make your own then.

>> No.10188060

Yes because having two communities for a group of less then 60 members is totally going to work. Plus I don’t want to run a group right now. I have a small group of just my personal friends in a small discord group. But that’s about it. We all collectively agree that the mods made a bad decision with the new moderation staff.

>> No.10188099

I know exactly what you're talking about and I don't understand their choices either, especially since the mod that is stepping down has always done a fantastic job. I don't see how someone that is so full of drama and crazyness can make a decent mod at all. I also don't recall her hosting any meets while the stepping down mod has always been extremely involved. The comm has really taken a turn for the worse... Unfortunately I agree that it's not really possible to make a second comm in the area, plus I'm sure if someone were to even try this chick would get all up in arms about it.

>> No.10188175

>"but the mod team isn’t exactly the best at managing drama rather stirring it"
>comes to 4chan to whine instead of addressing the issue like an adult

>> No.10188181

I don’t know why the mods thought it was wise to pick a mod for RC:U and a known cringy edge lord in the other lolita forums. But “ she’s been with the comm for many years” is apparently a valid reason to let someone moderate and help new lolitas in the community. I think the last meet she planned was at some lizard museum or something like that since she’s into lizards and bugs. Or maybe it was the one that was out at her house that was kinda lame and not worth the drive to BFE no where. She hasn’t done a meet in a few years though and hasn’t been active in the community for just as long.

>> No.10188182

>ignores the valid reasons for why someone’s concerned and just whines like the rest.

You don’t need to hide behind anon A. It’s obvious you don’t like people not liking you.

>> No.10188186

There’s a reason people talk here. It’s anon and they can really express their feelings without giving away their identity. People put on a mask when you see them by name. You of all people should know this. It’s better to see what they think here to know what their real opinions are without it being all sugar coated and cherry topped. Instead of being all “ act like an adult” take the criticism you see hear and discuss it with the mods. We all know you come here. Why else would anon say “ I know the mods come here and will see this”. To say what they want without the side eye and possible hate that comes from it because any one that knows who the new mod is knows that she can not handle heat that is directed at her. She would deflect it and project it to someone else much like you did making this post. Learn, not deflect.

>> No.10188197


One time at a meet she took off her shoes and tried to make us sniff her feet. Fucking footfag.

>> No.10188205

That’s when I left. The people who stayed never talk about what happened at the rest of the meet.

>> No.10188207

Then I guess you weren’t there when she started inspecting everyone to see if they had shaved their legs for the meet... Even the ones with tights on.

>> No.10188211


She kept calling them leggies. It was so fucking weird.

>> No.10188229

Literally who?

>> No.10188231

I like how she said “ although I was on a hiatus for heath reasons” like it really wasn’t because she made a damned fool of herself and stepped away for a while due to being in all the drama that happened with S. Maybe it was health, but that wasn’t the whole reason she took a “ break”. Also the way she did her introduction was cringy. GANG GANG! Really? Is that the way you want to come off when you’re now a mod? Yikes. I also don’t know why she felt the need to share with us that she is a part of the herpetological association and the street pass group. That’s not relevant to lolita in the slightest. But I guess she had to flex something because saying your a mod of RC:U is apparently not a valid thing to flex about. Not that I blame her. That page is a train wreck any way.

>> No.10188326

It was almost a decade ago. The only people aware of past issues and still feel negatively are know shit stirrers. So you sound like you need to get to know the comm better and ditch your drama mongering friends. Two of the current mods use to not get along, but the one in question changed her attitude and proved herself to have matured and grown for the better. Maybe it’s time for you to do the same.

>> No.10188331

I love her whole I'M GAY. but staying with my husband attention act.
She is so mentally unstable....She is hilarious to follow with her oh so edgy, scene kid act

>> No.10188333

She hasn’t been active at all in the community. How are people supposed to know she’s “ changed” if all we have seen is her being “snarky” in RCU and barely if at all active in the community.

>> No.10188336

You address one anon but both the other two or three in here? There’s a lot of people in the community that are not comfortable with her for past and current reasons. It’s not a “ that was a decade ago” situation. She’s still a cunt on RC:U and she’s a cunt here.

>> No.10188338
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K8 was getting better...and now she went off the deep end again.

>> No.10188339

imagine wishing you could pay $60 for what amounts to 2nd rate hooter's where the seats are worn and the lighting is trashs. you're either an LA comm mod or poor white trash

>> No.10188340

I don't think that wanting a break from all the BS and stepping down to focus on her own life is bad at all. I wouldn't want to deal with all this shit. And it's better than all those mods that don't do squat and never step down or let anyone else take over. She has always done a good job, let her be. The comm had a good drama free run for a few years...

>> No.10188343

She looks like Logan Paul.

>> No.10188354

atlanta had a swap meet up but only like 5 girls showed up wearing lolita [out of like maybe 12 people that showed up], which was weird
it felt like a small meet up but it ended up being cute

>> No.10188355

Holy shit she does

>> No.10188459

So this morning it was announced there'd be a Triple Fortune tea party in London which caught my eye but I've just seen that sissy Andrea wants to go so that's an instant nope.

>> No.10188461

Fuuuuuuck no she's in America why does she have to push herself into our stuff too?

>> No.10188496

Because some people have money they can burn while others don’t. Suffer for a while. God knows we deal with it enough already.

>> No.10188505

I hope avoiding eye contact and ignoring helps if it actually ends up attending.

>> No.10188521

Do the organisers know? Can they just ban Andrea from the event?

>> No.10188524

The organizer is encouraging him

>> No.10188526

What are they going to ban her for? For being ugly and huge? For being a bitchy control freak? Does anyone have any proof of her actively posting on sissy pages or sites?

>> No.10188545

Last time I was at an event, Andrea came up to me and started talking and wouldn't leave until my friend distracted her by pointing out the dessert buffet. It was weird and completely unprovoked. We weren't looking at her. Sadly, Andrea is inevitable.

>> No.10188623
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reposting pic related, it's pretty clear

>> No.10188635

That just looks like a really old fashioned crossdressing site. Not necessarily sissy.

>> No.10188643


What's with her being a bitchy control freak?

It's weird she goes to all these events when clearly people don't want her there. At paradiso they expressly ignored her raising her hand when it came to q and a. It does make me think that she has ulterior motives to attend these events nothing we can conclusively prove

>> No.10188655

How are we this lenient

>> No.10188678

>24% of respondents are tgirls (transwomen)
Look, I fucking hate sissies as much as the next girl but this legitimately seems like she was trans and didn't know where else to go. I don't know if you remember the world and internet culture of 2006 but it was not like today where there are places and resources for trans people specifically. It makes sense that they would convene with others who have the same interests (dressing like a woman) even though some of them are fetishists and some just have gender dysphoria.

>> No.10189548

She doesn't go to OC meets ever

>> No.10189703
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Not to sound white knight-ish but I feel bad for her if this is what’s really happening at events. I don’t think it’s fair to exclude someone because of their control freak issues or because she’s ugly. Unless she’s actively causing drama for people in her comm or people online as well?
Is there evidence aside from what >>10188623 presented that she’s a sissy? Because she seems pretty adamant about being identified as a woman. And as >>10188678 mentioned, there wasn’t a huge open community for trans women in the past. I think that she’s just lonely and doesn’t know how to socialize without coming off as overbearing. She’s very much like a gay man in my opinion. Her behavior would be conveyed as endearing if she were in fact a man (by attire), willing to gossip about dicks and showering you with compliments. But being a 6’ tall woman in a frilly dress, she reminds me more of pic desu

>> No.10189738

I don't want to attend an event where people like you are welcome desu. Here's hoping you're just a role-player.

>> No.10189779

>That just looks like a marginally different subcategory of the same fetish.

>> No.10190299

why would anyone?

>> No.10190651

not that anon, but just two hours at a zoo or museum seems hardly worth the price of admission.

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