I actually try really hard not to be narcissistic, especially not histrionic or anything.
I try really hard to be a nice person too, to the point that I've been told I'm boring because I'm too nice. It makes sense though, I'm kinda tame.
It isn't so much that I can't keep friends, but that the friendships never start, or with other girls at university, they'll get to know me, and then be like "Aw, sweetness, *you* shouldn't hang out with us and go to the club, you'll just get some weird pedo or something after you!"
(And they're right, I usually do, and I'm socially naive and it never ends well)
Like you said, a lot of the problem with finding friends actually is my own fault in a way, because I have social phobia, but also a crowd phobia, PTSD, and have a physical disability/chronic pain that reduces my mobility. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I can't walk long distances, and a lot of people find that hard to be friends with because I can't keep up, or I can't go out most places.
I think that's possibly a common experience for people who have trouble with mobility though.
I'm also in a small city in a rural area, so there's not many places to go or meet people, and the general local weekend pastime is either being posh at the clubs or partying on the beach doing drugs.
Sorry for this being really long, my point was that I really do try not to be narcissistic, but friendship-wise everything goes wrong anyway.
It seems like that's not uncommon though?
Thank you for replying! <3
My throwaway email is SugarRose at protonmail dot com.
I had to think up a name just for this since I didn't have a throwaway at present, so hopefully I didn't steal some well known person's name there.
I had no idea anyone would answer, at least not sincerely! Thank you! <3
I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
Sorry. I was sort of howling at the moon, didn't think anyone would legitimately answer.