Yeah, it was a serious "what the fuck" moment when I found out too, since I knew her husband from my days on OPERATORChan (which is how I found out about her) and he never seemed like the sort. I'm not sure if she's doing any sort of defamation lawsuit or anything, but I couldn't blame her if she just wanted to wash her hands of the whole thing with the divorce rather than have to relive that mess over and over in a courtroom.
You're welcome, anon. Bear in mind that what I say isn't gospel, it's just what's working for me at the moment. It might not work as well for you, but hopefully it gives you some things to think about because this sounds like a struggle for you, but that's good because struggle makes you grow.
If you're constantly worried about what other people think about you, you'll never grow. You'll always be worried "well what will so-and-so think?" It's fine to consider what public perception might be, but you do have to draw a line at some point and live life by your own rules a little bit. Push your boundaries, learn what it's like to be uncomfortable, to be unsatisfied, to be scared, to be in pain, to be frustrated. When you learn to manage those emotions, you'll be in better control of yourself, and that self-mastery shows in your actions and attitude as confidence.
I found my confidence through competitive shooting. I'm very open about doing it, talking about technique and mindset, etc. It's harshly juxtaposed with my cosplay hobby, and it paints me as extremely dangerous to a lot of people, but the women in my life trust me because they know I've gotten where I am through that self-mastery. They know I'm better than the sort of men they worry about. I'm a person to them, not a stereotype. That's the sort of rep you should work towards, but the only way you'll get there is by refusing to be bound by the closed-mindedness of shitty people.
You've got one life, dude. Don't waste it walking on eggshells.