Black metal is something that you like or not. It's not for everyone and not made to be. And that's okay. Personally I really dig like these "80/"90 trash bands like old Metallica, Iron Maiden, Manowar, Dio, etc. That stuff that wouldn't be considered metal if released today, but they're classics. But hey, I'm also a big Bruce Springsteen fan.
Gotta, say, we black metal fans often get called out as elitist, but I don't think we are really. We're honest in our opinions if you ask, negative or not. But we're not unfair, and most people will give other stuff a change. We often make bad jokes about being elitist, but honestly, true elitist in any genre are horrible. They are just blind. Many genres, even the ones you often dislike, have great stuff here and there. It's never to late to try something new :).
Really, the only times you have trouble with the underground black metal fans is if you are gonna try to make them political correct. Black metal allows any opinion and cares more for sincerity, and there are extremes of each side possible there. Have some respect and be able to agree to disagree and it's fine. That being said, being an asshole is still not cool. Opinions don't give right to act upon them ;).
The Netherlands is great, come arround some day! Big cities are touristic tho. I grew up in smaller towns and cities, it's very different than the big cities. But the metalheads are the same everywhere haha.