/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I hate it when people who I know aren't going to attend the meet press 'going'. I know you're going to flake, you know you're going to flake: please don't do that.

Anyone got anyone in their comm they want to vent about? The girl you hate bought your dream dress? Someone said the coord you worked hard on is ita? Entitled bitches feeling like they can backseat mod? Mods not doing their job and slacking off?
Tell me all.

I hate when people bring their partners to meets. It’s always awkward and inappropriate, especially when they’re an older man amongst a group of young women.

>>9969865
One girl I know presses going on every single thing she's invited to even when she has no plans on going.

>>9969865
i read "meet press" as "mating press" and i got very confused

>>9969871
Fatty here in a comm that's like 50% fatties, so we all accept each other's attempts to make this work for our bodies and it's great. You wanna be a homemade lolita? Great! Shirring stretched out? No one cares. I really like them, but because groups have splintered due to some drama, there's multiple meets planned on the same day at times. I have a hard time deciding which meets to attend.

>>9969871
There was a new lolita that joined my comm a few years ago, and since I was nice to her because she was new (and also because she dressed very well for having started the fashion like a month prior), she kind of latched onto me as her lolita senpai. She saw dresses I had that she thought were cool, so I would link her to them when I saw them up for sale, and she would buy them. She lived two or three hours away from me, and would drive to my city just to hang out for a day, shit like that. Fast forward a year or two, and suddenly she decides she hates me because she realised that I wasn't the perfect lovely like she expected. She freaked out at me for being mean to her, and ghosts the comm. Suddenly, every time my pictures are posted I'm being ripped to shreds and called ita with oddly specific insults. It was pretty obvious who was doing it, because duh, who else would have such a raging vendetta for a relative nobody in the lolita community? I didn't tell my comm because I didn't really want to cause drama, so I just blocked her on all my social media and changed my name, and stopped posting on CoF.

>>9969927
I'm glad you're happy, but a group of fat people with lots of drama sounds genuinely awful.

>>9969933
Sounds like she’s unwell. I hope she gets better soon.

>>9969871
I wish I had. I don't trust anyone enough to vent about my salt. So I just use my boyfriend instead.

>>9969935
It's actually not lots of drama, just one polarizing issue that has cast a bit of a shadow over our whole town's weeb community.

>>9969927

there's like 50% omission of details in this fairytale of fat acceptance but ok.

>>9969871
Insecure people inventing drama where there isn't any. Thankfully the comm can see through it so it's no big deal but it's a bit sad.

>>9969871
The mod in my local comm thinks she’s the owner of lolita fashion around here, she and her friends created lots of unnecessary drama and talked shit about other lolitas in her facebook for everyone to see

Though she’s no longer as publicly hating on other girls, she still makes some snarky remarks or makes vague posts bitching about how she saved lolita and all other girls are snakes

>>9969947
What region or state are you in?? If you're from the U.S I mean

I want to spill personal drama from my small comm

So there’s this girl that annoys the living hell out of me. She’s always acting like she’s better, more educated, and better dressed than everyone else when in reality, her closet consists of mostly offbrand and Bodyline. She gave our comm leader an anxiety attack at a meet because of her inconsiderate nature. Even the high-functioning disabled girl in my comm dislikes her because she’s intrusive and annoying.

I would try to vote her out, but the catch is that she’s the only person of color in our comm (I’m a Jew but I don’t think that counts) and I don’t want to be seen as “that racist bitch” all across the lolita world if she were to try and pull the race card. Man it feels good to get that off of my chest.

>>9969871

This is bringing up way old drama but it left a bad taste in my mouth when my comm is 'lovely' on the outside and often stan themselves on cgl, but then drove a girl out of the comm after commenting she shouldn't be representing the comm etc at an event. Then, when confronted with questionable behaviors, will do a 180 and defensively say lolitas shouldn't be 'lovelies.' Really put a bad taste in my mouth. Everyone is past that though, and the girl is in a new comm she loves.

>>9969944
The devil is in the details. I say, be gone, Satan.

>>9969936
There was definitely something wrong with her. She was unhealthily obsessed with /cgl/. At meets, she would randomly bring up drama she had read on the board, and would talk about how she would intentionally say things about certain famous lolitas to stir drama. Our comm is open about browsing /cgl/, so I guess she thought that meant we wanted to talk about the board constantly at meets.

>>9969871
I’m getting really tired of people in my comm who act like children despite being grown-ass adults. There’s one woman in particular who’s like 40 but seems to have stopped maturing at 14. You’d think someone that age into alt fashion would have learnt to deal with public reactions by now, right? Nope. If someone so much as stares at her horrible theatrical “drag” or “shironuri” makeup and ill fitting Halloween costume tier clothes from a distance she posts to FB about the stupid vanilla normies b00lying her because she’s too unique and powerful for them uwuwuwu, a mindset which is encouraged by her carefully curated hugbox of a friends list. Every so often she threatens to defriend anyone who doesn’t like her posts often enough. Since I rarely like her posts I suspect that the only reason I’ve made it through these purges is because I have a bunch of her dream dresses that she’s hoping to buy off me one day (with a drawn out payment plan ofc). I ended up unfollowing her because I was worried I’d snap and call her out on one of her posts where she claims to be “a victim of mental abuse, no, a survivor!!!” because some bus driver asked her what she got all dressed up for that day. Despite unfollowing her she still pops up in my notifications on the daily because she’s always posting in lolita groups, usually to complain about how toxic the community is.
Did I mention she thinks she’s a witch who can curse people? She thinks she’s a witch who can curse people.

>>9970002
We have one of those too, except she always follows up her first mention of cgl with
>not that I care what anyone there thinks because they’re all jealous losers with no life
right before going in-depth about the latest drama that happened the night before. It’s kind of pathetic to be honest, because it’s obvious she’s obsessed with cgl while claiming to be so above it. I suspect she’s also on lolcow a lot because she knows way too much about Pixielocks for someone who hates her and doesn’t follow her on any platform.

>>9969871
I’ve got a girl in my comm who is several years younger than myself that’s latched onto me and keeps pushing for a close friendship. There’s too much lack of maturity, life experiences, etcetera. I also have enough close friendships and I don’t really have the time or energy to dedicate to new ones regardless of age. She dumps alot of her personal drama on me out of nowhere and doesn’t stop until I respond. I’ve tried being subtle about it but I’m on the edge of chewing her out.

Im afraid to hurt her feelings if I have to tell her exactly how she’s making me feel. I don’t dislike the girl and don’t wanna scare her away from the comm but I don’t wanna be anyone’s emotional crutch.

My comm's participation has plummeted in the past two years or so. There's a lot of new members, which would be fine, but there's something really strange about them all that I can't figure out. It feels like we've got a couple e-fame hungry newbs making people uncomfortable and the majority of them are young and sort of awkward to be around. I can't tell if the fallen participation is because of paranoid newbs driving people out (themselves included) or if it's because our two shitty mods are such elitist assholes that no one wants to be around them or go to the incredibly repetitive and unexciting meets they try hosting every month.

>endrant

My comm is nice.
The people I like I really like and I gel with super well. There's not many itas or badly dressed people. There's only one person who ruins the fun, and I wish she was easier to ignore, but no, she's also one of the mods. She's said some very spiteful things about my friends and other comm members, but is super sweet in person. I hope she gets her comeuppance soon, but I'll wait for karma to do it's part.

>>9969952
are bans in your comm based on general vote? because that actually sounds like a good system.

>>9970128
lol you should out her, if you have caps or something

>>9970141
Would that I could. But I'm sure she'll slip up somehow - I'd rather wait for her to screw it up herself. I think people are cottoning on to her obnoxious behaviour anyway.

>>9969951
No I’m not, I’m from a shithole country

>>9969871
Last year the biggest nutcase I've seen in my whole life joined my comm. She got banned before she even went to an event because she lashed out and started harassing people because they told her that some rules (eg. wearing a petti) were necessary for an outfit to be lolita. Guess she wanted to stay an ita.

Now she terrorizes rufflechat with lies about our comm and her apparent e-famous status (evidenced by the 10k followers she bought for her instagram). She accused a comm member who tried shironuri (to meet Minori) as using whiteface to stay in the comm. On rufflechat she victim blamed a girl who got sexually harassed and suggested she was lying in order to destroy someone's business.

When I thought I've had seen all the shit she could do, she starts a patreon, where if you pay $1000 or more per month, you can get her calendar as well as 100 entries into a draw to meet her. If that's not enough, for $5000 you can join her personal discord server.

Just...why.

PS she's in her late 30s and has like 5 kids. You're welcome.

>>9970164
>for $5000 you can join her personal discord server
$5000 per month? Where do I sign?

>>9970164
I admit, it's been entertaining to watch her roleplay lolita lifestyle on RC and WRMP. She honestly can't stop lying about her life.

>>9970171
I found it entertaining, too, but now she just gets on my nerves.

>>9970164
>>9970171
>>9970174
Damn, I gotta know who this kook is. Description on who to look for on RC?

lately my comm has been overrun by itas. Most of them are older ladies with zero taste in lolita or in normie fashions and some just flat out group it with cosplay but still insist even when told otherwise. they also have a habit of misguiding newbies with terrible info before mods or even just decently dressed members can ever step in to say anything. they do alot of backseat modding and it’s so frustrating. I wish the mods would say something to put them in their place.

>>9970181
Her first name is a stringed instrument slightly larger than a Violin, and her last name is a flower found on most gothic and classical prints.

>>9970181
Her latest question on RC was on how you wash your dresses.

>>9970186

>>9970215

>>9970220
There are shoe rules?

>>9970220
Why does she claim to be plus size when she’s just not?

>>9970223
The only rule I'm aware of is that the shoes should look good with the coord, but that's apparently very inhibiting

>>9970164
From her patreon.

>>9969871
If I actually participated in my local comm I might be able to see drama. The only time I meet up with my comm is during the annual con tea meet. They seem like a lovely and well dressed bunch. I did embarrass myself in front of another lolita this year. I fell into the elevator at a hotel while the girl complimented my coord lol

>>9970239
fucking yikes

>>9970244
that sounds cute anon

>>9969871
There’s an insufferable girl in my comm who’s a total know it all. Has to be right all the fucking time even if she’s been proven wrong. When I first met her at first she was cool. Showed no signs of that at all. But during the next few meets, I couldn’t stand her. Sigh, seems like she’s here to stay though.

>>9970257
Yikes, that sounds like someone in my comm. Are you in the UK?

>>9970264
Nah, across the pond

>>9970265
Man, bitches be everywhere.

>>9970248
it wasn’t as graceful as it could have been desu

>>9970128
>>9970257
These both sound a lot like my comm. Great comm, except for one person. She can't be outed though because as far as I'm aware all her annoying behavior and shittalking happens irl. I just hope she grows out of it.

>>9970257
Which UK comm, if you don't mind me asking? I feel like I might know who you mean.

>>9970280
>>9970278
>>9970128
Say it. You know you want to.

>>9969887
I hate it even when they are the same age and I met them before and they are my friends parter. Like I feel weird about going up to them and making conversation cause who knows if they're weird with jealousy or something. Plus I don't even have anything to talk to them about. But it's also weird af because I don't think mosf of us want to talk to them for the same reason so they just end up kinda ignored or something.

Just don't do this to your partners please. It's cool for small close friend hang outs but not straight up meets.

One time I met a girl and her bf and her bf kept talking to me enthusiastically while she just stood there and glared. Like just don't.

Who’s in the SF comm and tell me all your juicey deets. Unless there aren’t any and you guys are chill and just drink tea together.

>>9969927
How does being happy fatty Chan's and drama due to meet timing relate?

>>9970025
Wow she's like that perfect lolita you love to hate.

>>9969942
Hi OK comm!

>>9970312
I’m the anon who fell in the elevator and a part of the SF comm. From what I gather from their fb there isn’t any drama. Then again I only go to one meet a year lol

>>9970327
You fell? You ok?

And why only one meet a year? The group in FB offers like three a month! Looks exciting. Then again they DO have the stores in town. That’s so not fair but also so awesome if you love there.

>let’s see, it’s the weekend.
>I need to go buy milk
>and some light bulbs
>the new AP release
>some bread maybe
>oh new Alice and the pirate socks
>some cheese

You bitches don’t know how good you have it. I love it.

>>9970312

The SF comm is really nice. Lots of meets, mods actually do their job, big variety of people to hang out with.

Only negative thing I can think of right now is there is this younger girl (like high school age) who comes to all the meets she can and is so "genki" and talks so much that she annoys the rest of the members. Most of the regulars in the SF comm are at least in their late 20s, and they don't want to hear a home-schooled teenage weeb ramble on about the Japanese words she knows. She has been coming to meets for at least a year and still doesn't have a single decent coord.

>>9970346
Yeah, I’m all good, just super embarrassed that I did it in front of another lolita. She really liked my coord so it made me feel a little better about it lol

I live 50 miles away from all the action so unless it’s a meet within 15-20 miles I’ll end up skipping it. That really only leaves Fanime and the Rose Garden meets haha.

>>9970287
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>9970370
You did it, you fucking went there, you absolute madman.

>>9969933
ok but what did you do that made her say you were being mean to her?

>>9970239
>recorded personal message
I have such morbid curiosity - I really want to know what one of these fucking sad things sounds like.

I can't believe I have yet to be posted about in one of these threads. I feel like I have had so many embarrassing moments at meets but I have yet to see a story about one so I guess I'm still keeping up appearances.

>>9969871
That one person in the comm who everyone sees as an idol because they keep up a 'pure girl uwu' act online, despite them having a bitchy personality. Heard similar things from friends in other comms too, guess it's just commonplace?

>>9970323
I think you are very mistaken, anon.

>>9970239
So... for an extra 4K you can join her discord? Seems legit. She can’t possibly think anyone would fall for this tho, right? I mean she’s kinda ugly as fuck...

>>9970549
Makes me wonder, do people use patreon for money laundering?

>>9970314
>>9970323
Didn't say it happens all the time, just occasionally. And I'd rather be in a comm with nice plus-sized lovelies than have to deal with some of the crazies you gulls are describing.

>>9970370
who's the problem?

>>9970164
Detecting just a hint of NPD from this woman

>>9970437
If you'll believe me, literally nothing. I spoke to her the way I speak to all of my friends, but since it wasn't saccharine sweet lolita lovely, she thought I was bullying her.

>>9970555
High IQ drug empire

>>9970555
That's genius.

>>9970634
If this is OK comm then what you described originally doesn’t make much sense. We have plus sized girls but and some drama but can’t say I’ve seen any of the other stuff described.

>>9970239
>>9970164

I found it, she has one patron.
She also has a quora full of questions like Why can't I afford house? Should I dump/cheat on my boyfriend? I haven't gone outside in a year because of weed and it's Justin Trudeau's fault?

confirmed crazy

>>9970311
Sometimes it's ok though, in my experience. In my old comm there were a couple ladies who always brought their husbands, but they were into a lot of the same stuff that the girls were as far as video games or alt fashion, etc, so it was never awkward. They were able to take part in conversation just fine and had stable relationships so jealousy didn't seem to be an issue. It was also nice because when other girls with anxiety brought their SOs, it made it less awkward overall.

I met another lolita in a nearby city while I was visiting, and she is really wanting me to join their comm and for her to mentor me.

But I have been wearing lolita for 10 years, and I really do not need a mentor, especially not someone who is shocked to learn that I was able to buy a dress off Fril. I also wear lolita daily, but rarely go to meets.

She keeps bugging me to come to this swap meet that I've already told her I can't make. I kind of wish she would chill out, but I don't want to be rude.

>>9970184
Oh fuck this is my comm! I didn't know about the patreon!

>>9970861
Maybe you don't dress as well as you think you do. Older lolitas tend to get stuck in their ways, and there's no shame in accepting help, you know.

>>9970880
Nayrt but anon said she rarely goes to meetups, whether she dresses amazingly or not doesn't really matter because she most likely isn't looking to impress anyone. Not to mention that insisting on being someone's mentor even after they refuse, regardless of how well they dress, is rude. If anon doesn't want help, she doesn't have to accept it when it's being forced on her.

>>9970346
I live about 50 miles away too. I end up in SF a lot bc of all the meet ups. At least 2-3 weekends a month! I can't imagine going to one meet a year in the Bay Area. SF is only a 45 min drive on the weekends

>>9970806
OKC makes competing meets all the time and blocked anyone that is friends with M or K.

>>9970880
I have no problem with accepting help or con crit usually, but this girl is not more knowledgable or better dressed than me.
You don't have to take my word for it though, we're all anon here.

>>9969933
Why were you being mean to her in the first place? Or are you just a bitch?

Some mad cunt made a snap judgement and has tried on a few occasions to sour the mods of my comm against me after blocking me.
Haven't spoken much to her, was on good terms, I did make the mistake of informing her that she got posted once.
Dumb of me, I insta regretted mentioning it, but she had me tricked into thinking she was a well rounded person and would have liked to know.
Thankfully, I hang out with the comm owner and the other girls that blocked me after are known shit stirrers.

Got me paranoid though, because I'm not even sure if the other girls' beef with me is even related. Like, it's awkward posting on my friends' posts when a good half of some replies are hidden from me.
If you're going to be an inconvenient twat you may as well give some context, our community is too small for that bs.

>>9970323
>>9970806
It's not OK, but close.

>>9971033
where did it say she was being mean to the little bitch? sorry you got posted you dumbass

>>9971121
>She freaked out at me for being mean to her, and ghosts the comm.
Just giving you context since you can't read I guess.
>>9971033
See
>>9970700

>>9971102
Kansas then?

>>9970958
This isn’t even remotely true. There’s not been competing meets and the only instance I can think of is a meet that OK comm cancelled after the other comm decided to do one same day and place while fully aware of OK’s meet.

As for blocking friends of M and K, also not true. The mods have blocked them and others closely associated with them to avoid being harassed and stalked but still have dozens of mutual friends. I’m sure you’ve been spoonfed a very biased version of the situation but it’s not reality.

>>9970958
>>9971268

Was this the festival open to the public, that was located in the other comm's city? That wasn't an official meetup, just a casual meet with a couple members.

>blocking to avoid being harassed

No, they just don't want anybody to find out that they're the ones that have been stalking the girls in the other comm and posting here, either harassing them or defending themselves.

>>9970820
I want to read this, can you link it

>>9971268
Keep victimizing yourself A. Your mod abuse is laughable.

>>9970700
wow? You really don't think you did or said anything at all? Like there is no doubt in your mind?

If that is the case, it might be that you just do something you think it normal because from your perspective it makes sense to do but it's probably something that doesn't mesh well with others.

Are you sure you didn't do anything to provoke it at all?

I just think it's hard to believe considering how long you two knew each other.

I just found out that the girl in my comm with the huge enviable wardrobe is constantly in financial trouble and either pays for everything with payment plans or begs her boyfriend or parents to buy things for her. This explains why she so often has “emergency sales”, flakes on meetups last minute and why she never buys anything at swap meets unless it’s from a close friend who presumably lets her pay in instalments.

I used to be pretty jelly of her but now I don’t know anymore. Is a big wardrobe really worth all that stress? She apparently has practically no savings and depends on the people around her to bail her out of financial situations. I can’t look at her IG the same way anymore. It no longer looks like a nice collection, it looks like the manifestation of an unhealthy shopping addiction. We’re not close so there’s not much I can do to help but at the very least I’m going to stop enabling her by linking her to items on her wishlist.

Is there anyone in your comm with an unhealthy shopping addiction?

>>9970370
I can only hope this is about the person I think it's about.

>>9971481
It’s not a very big comm so probably

>>9971475
Yeah. Me. I haven't damaged my credit score or anything yet, but I do live outside my means and shop too much. I hide most of my purchases from comm members because I'm ashamed.
>At least I'm not the girl who often posts asking if she should buy things which she ends up buying anyway no matter what anyone says

>>9971491
>At least I'm not the girl who often posts asking if she should buy things which she ends up buying anyway no matter what anyone says
I can't stand that, it's an obvious tacky flaunt of wealth.

>>9971357
Never banned anyone. All that was done was relay the messages but that’s pretty rich coming from a group of professional victims grasping at anything they can for damage control.

>>9971331
Don’t know anything about a festival, but if it’s what I’m thinking of then casual meet or not it was still shitty to do while aware of the other meet. Not for the mods but for the members that voiced being conflicted. The meet was cancelled to avoid anything unnecessary but members were encouraged to still go so they wouldn’t have to feel conflicted.

OK had previously been statewide while Tulsa wasn’t even active or accessible, due to drama, up until recently but only after K had come around. That’s when the split happened. Tulsa doesn’t get to go around dictating who gets what. Sorry.

And wrong again. That’s all on Tulsa but good luck ever getting them to be accountable for their actions. You are aware that they spread numerous sexual accusations about members, right? Accusations that turned out to be completely false but are still spread by them and ex-mods from OK. It’s beyond me how someone could believe anyone capable of doing that and not even have any guilt about it.

>>9969871
If you express human emotions like frustration, confusion, being upset, or heaven forend, a touch of anger to the mods, they'll call you aggressive and offer you some arm chair psychoanalysis. No Jan, I don't need to go see a therapist, I need you to give enough of a fuck about a minor being posted to cgl to do something about it. I let the girl's mother know and got the posts taken down because it was clear the mods were going to do fuck all.

>>9970958
K thinking she’s special because she gets over 200 likes on insta. You’re still a joke and coord like an ita, K. You just keep trying to be efamous, honey.

>>9971864
Ks been in lolita long enough at this point that it's sad that she coords the way she does

>>9971357
No K, we caught you posting pics from our group. That’s why we kicked you out. It’s not abuse if you break the rules.

>>9971357
Sorry we don’t want people who sexually harass people and spread rumors in our comm.

>>9971865
Which K are you talking about? They're all itas, just different sizes.

>>9971362
It doesn't take much for a shitty immature person to show their true colors and turn on you anon, it just sucks extra hard if it effects the relationships you actually care about.
Like, ever disagree politely with someone, thinking that's the last it'll come up, only to have them shit talk you behind your back and damage your reputation? No? Well I'm glad you're such an astute judge of character that you've never had to deal with that in your adult life.
Not that anon btw, just someone else salty over some dumb shit.

>>9971892
I’m talking about the little one who is desperately shoehorning herself in with the efame girls at all the brand teas.

>>9971901
Yikes someone is jealous they have no friends.

>>9971899
No, no, and I don't blame you for being salty.

I've just been in BOTH situations. Like I get the perspective from both sides. I've had people think that I was being psycho for thinking they were being rude because they legit thought there was nothing insane about what they did.

And I've lost a job before because someone talked shit about me and I never even spoke to them to cause anything. Turns out they saw a scar on my arm and complained to management.

I could have sued honestly but I just left that place cause there's no reason to stay in a place where someone hates you that much for no reason.

>>9971892
It’s actually funny because tiny k, medium k, and extra jumbo k all have the same issues in common.

>>9971905
Yikes someone thinks they’re edgy.

>>9971910
>tiny k, medium k, and extra jumbo k
Ok, now I really want to see a photo of them all

>>9971905
Calling followers friends. Get back to me when your conversations go deeper than vanity or small talk.

>>9971914
Their image pops up in the ita threads so you’ve seen them.

>>9971914

>>9970239
Wow this is beyond delusional

>>9971892
I think they mean the thin, Asian one. I’m pretty positive the nonsense here >>9971331 is the same K considering how it’s just spoon-fed, biased dribble. Others have been given similar half-assed shit whenever fat K is having a tizzy and feels the need to spew whatever abuse fantasies she can conjour up to anyone who will listen, including people she actively shit talks. Weirdly enough, each retelling she does deviates from the last. >>9971357 is D who would literally shit talk an inanimate object if it gave her the drama she constantly needs to thrive.

I’d also like to add that my original statement was not to instigate anything at all, it was just a statement but as usual this group with grasp at anything they can to instigate shit. In all honesty, I’ve not posted any of them, intact both fat K and D have self-posted attempting to make it look like I did so just to instigate and/or “justify” the shit they pull. I don’t understand the amount of energy being put into doing this over and over and over.

>>9971905
Hovering like a beta orbiter to forcibly insert oneself into a group is how people make friends now? Freaks.

>>9969871
Not so much much one specific person but I hate how all the meets are themed and how a bunch of furries are slowly working their fursuits into the coords stating that the meets are calling for it as they are "themed"

>>9970350
oof yeah
she’s perfectly nice but exhausting to be around. i might stop going to the monthly meets altogether.

>>9971892
>>9971901
>>9971910
>>9971924
>>9971951

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I have the most expensive closet in my comm, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Mercari, and I have over 300 auction wins . I am trained in cgl shitposting and I’m the top Brand whore in the entire US lolita community. You are nothing to me but just another ita. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Little Bo Peep. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of lolitas across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your wardrobe. You’re fucking dead, rufflebutt. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can coord better than you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my Jsk's. Not only am I extensively trained in coording all main styles, but I have access to every Gothic Lolita Bible ever published and I will use this library to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy lantern retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit frills all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>9971977

>>9971977
>>9971980
I choked a lil

>>9971977

>>9971475

There is a girl in my comm who I think has a shopping addiction. She works a retail job, I think I pretty low-paying one too, and yet her entire room is literally FULL of Angelic Pretty dresses and stacks of shoes, bags, accessories, and Kumya plushes. Maybe her boyfriends pay for some of it, but still. . .

>>9971965

I know for a fact that some people have stopped going to the monthly meets just because of her. It doesn't really matter, though, because there are so many other meets.

>>9970312
>juicy deets
We love to eat.

Suggest a meet where everyone goes out to eat somewhere new or different or fancy and people will flock to it

>>9971977
This just got way more interesting. Is this a lolita Chad?

>>9971977
This is perfection

>>9971980
>>9972004
>not recognizing a pasta this fucking old
when will summer end?

>>9971977
I have a very particular set of frills. Frills I have acquired over a very long career. Frills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

>>9972014
I will find you and I will coord you.

>>9971977
Copypasta anon always come in when things get good.

>>9971475
I’m not even remotely close to a situation like this girl is in with the amounts of debt and such but I do have a bad shopping addiction. Luckily (in a way)!enough for me though I was recently diagnosed with ADHD which helped me to understand that my shopping was due to uncontrollable impulses and some mild streaks of “risky behaviour”. Thanks to the diagnosis I’m not able to control it and keep myself in check and only fluff up my wardrobe when it’s financially feasible. But it can be a tough battle when it comes to impulsive shopping when involving something that easy to hyperfixate onsich as lolita or really any hobby.

But my situation is also similar to >>9971994 in a way as my boyfriend gives me a monthly lolita budget. It’s nice being able to have a hoard of this stuff but shopping addiction and impulse buying sucks in the long run. It can be so emotionally and and mentally taxing regardless of if there’s accumulated debts, have a good paying job or not, etc etc etc. it’s like a desperate internal battle in oneself trying to fight those urges even after trying rationalizing it over and over. I hope these girls both you anons mentioned are able to find some peace of mind someday as well as relief in this struggle of theirs.

>>9972014
>>9972017
Bless you both for the much needed laugh, anon(s).

>>9970820
Link one or both please! Especially the quora, I love VR nuttiness

>there being this much drama in a comm from a boring flyover place like OKC
Somehow amazing every time.

My comm’s biggest problem is global warming. Summers are now 4 solid months of 100+ temps and everyone retires to normiewear to survive. We try to do meets at the beginning and end of summer, and even a few brave souls try midsummer events, but even though everyone is good sports and on the same page about it, it’s only going to get worse. I don’t really fear for the comm or anything, I just resent climate change.

>>9972108
God, I dunno if we're in the same state or what but I feel the fuck outta this. I cannot will myself to put on that many layers when even a tshirt and shorts feels suffocating. I am like a sun spider, skittering from A/C building to A/C car to A/C home. Maybe the solution is more nighttime meets? Could do something like Dave and Busters or Main Event, or like a dine-in movie theater or show.

>>9970224
Idk man, she prob have a large frame while being skinny, especially since she looks pretty tall.
>t. tall skinny person with a 75 cm waist

>>9972177
If you're really that tall that you are skinny with a 75cm waist you're probably a giant. Models who are considered tall usually have a 60ish cm waist. So are you like 6'5"?

>>9972180
Nyart but I’m 5’9” and when I was 120lbs (underweight) my waist was 64cm, if I go into the healthy category it goes up a lot when you’re tall it’s super hard to be healthy and have a small waist

>>9972108
Try Tulsa, anon. All the shit stirrers and harassers live there. They call one another friends but constantly shit talk each other and bully lesser Lolitas or anyone they find a threat.

>>9971951
>not trying to instigate anything
>posting in this thread multiple times
>"It's everyone else harassing me, I swear!"

>>9972250
>being over the age of 5
>crying about "bullying"

Is it so boring there that run of the mill comm cattiness is this much of a big deal?

>>9970025
Textbook BPD. And I don't have to tell you this, but never ever sell her a dress, she'll flake on the payment plan like the flaky flake she is. Some people are just warped and never recover. She'll still be a trainwreck when she's sixty.

As a reminder that we're not lovelies: I'll never forgive you if you don't post her awful shironuri attempts in the ita thread.

>>9970164
Those kids are abused and/or neglected, I guarantee it. If you want her to shut up for a while, an anonymous call to CPS might do the trick and might get her kids placed with relatives who aren't as nutty and attention seeking.

>>9970184
Found her on quora. The lipstick spells lunatic. Her poor kids.

>>9972274
Are you actually this dense or just have bad comprehension, D? I get that you get off on this shit but come on, do better for yourself.

>>9972250
>>9972278
Yeah, unfortunately it seems so. Usually the normal shit dies down like it would anywhere else but it becomes a big deal when people make up potentially life and/or career ruining rumours. Pretty much in retaliation or bitterness over getting caught.

>>9972432
>potentially career ruining rumours

These rumours don't exist. Even if they did, you don't have a job or career to ruin and haven't for awhile. You really don't have anything better to do than to start drama and beg your man to buy you lolita and pay your bills.

>>9972495
So, all those false sexual accusations and other rumours just didn’t even happen then? Even though there’s proof? Right then, gotcha.

If you’re not stalking me then how would you know I’m not working and why does that even matter? I’m a student anyway.
Sorry you’re bitter that my man makes more than enough to support me and buys me whatever I want. Good luck with Andy Milonakis tho.

>>9972509
kek what do you expect from some one so fat and cheap she has to wear oo jia replicas and altered bodyline? her bpd is really showing eeeeesh

>>9972509
Just say what the fuck happened so we're all caught up. Because I have no fucking clue what you bitches are going on about.

>>9972516
Me too. I'm here for the salt, but I'm running out of patience if they aren't going to deliver and just keep airing petty drama.

You know, shame on me for thinking people could be adults on 4chan, but really? A, S, D, whoever else is on here. Grow up. Get over yourselves. You live in bumfuck OK, your drama means absolutely nothing in the end, not in the lolita communities and not IRL. No one talks about it anymore besides when whoever the hell brings stuff up on 4chan again. Why can't you all just stay off and let it die? You'll probably live much happier lives.
At the end of the day, we are all just nobodies in frilly dresses, is all this immaturity really worth it?

>>9972108
>there being this much drama in a comm from a boring flyover place like OKC
No it makes sense - there isn't anything worth doing in that state so people have all kinds of time on their hands to start shit with each other.

My local comm’s leader and I used to be very good and close friends. We had a falling out that lead to her having a fit at me and claiming to never wanting to be my friend again. This ended up making me feel ousted and I havent gone to any meets since she would be there, and a lot of our mutual friends have stopped talking to me too. The last year I’ve been a lonelita and though its nice sometimes I really wish i had some lolita friends to talk about things to. I feel like that wont happen until i move but thats not for another two years.

>>9972588
And smoke meth.

>>9972516
>>9972530
nayrt but I’m in both comms & friends with both sides, I’ve heard both sides so I’ll try to elaborate as best as I can with out outing myself & getting the same stuff thrown on me or banned

the rumor spreading & gossip has gone on ever since M & jumbo K came into the picture because they enjoy pitting members of both groups. it started coming in to the light because they were outed after a fall out between them & some other girls in the group chats basically a bunch of sexual rumors were being spread around the comms.

M accused a fellow mod of sexual misconduct after she was confronted about her being in jumbo K’s group chats that shit talked members. they keep spreading the rumor about it even after M finally admitted it was false. before then jumbo K had another member banned from a different comm by accusing them of being a rapist. another jumbo K accused a newbie with autism of groping her & smelling like cat urine because she was upset about her not wearing lolita right away. the only non sexual one I think is jumbo K spreading that A is a theif or destroyed her stuff depending on who you ask by using what A said in anger to her to get her, D & M to leave her alone during a family member passing away on top of an emotional break down. jumbo K also started a rumor about another girl having STDs after they had a falling out but I don’t know 100% if the girl was part of the local comms or left or from another area.

the shit just gets stirred up when jumbo K & D get bored so they self post their best coords in ita threads & immediately start pointing the finger. i know well enough that if any of them wanted to post them they would post them wearing replicas. the ok girls just get dog piled by them in any thread they get spotted in

>>9972546

k you & I are friends, I agree with you on alot of this but we all know youre emotional. no body hates you. but youre on here pointing fingers like youre so above it all.

>>9972822
Anyone who can go and be friends with M, D, Jumbo K and party I don’t trust. After knowing everything they’ve done and said I don’t know how you can be around people like that. If those are your leaders who are you?

>>9972896
Who are you?

>>9972509
LOL post caps then

>>9972822
You may be in both comms but if you call M and party friends then your not my friend, sorry.

>>9972927

Other people are free to make their own decisions. Petty accusations shouldn't rule what someone else choses to do. But go off sis

>>9972712
haha yeah, the ol' flyover passtime.

>>9972156
I’m in a Coastal Elite(tm) state but I have no doubt it’s just as severe a problem elsewhere. After-dark meets for us would mean 8-9pm or later most of summer, which is prohibitive for most people here (plus it honestly doesn’t cool down at night either, low temps in the mid 80s for July/Aug).

Solidarity my fellow shade-needer!

what are those shoes
they're nice

>>9973725
Welcome newfriend, those are called rocking horse shoes, also please remember to direct questions like this to the stupid question thread.

Why are some ice breakers at meets if you don't really know people?
My comm seems to be a tad cliquish where ppl talk only to their friends about subjects that are more personal, or something others can't quite interject in.

Sometimes I go around complementing people's coords and the event and stuff but then it gets kinda awkward when you realize you are the odd one out.

>>9973930
Kinda just have to play it the same way you would with cats, get them used to you being around, offer them treats and try not to look them in the eye or bare your teeth until you've let them sniff your fingers.
While I'm posting it in jest, there is a useful takeaway here if you care to extrapolate it yourself.

>>9973930
If I'm meeting someone for the first time I ask them how long they've been into lolita, how they discovered it, I compliment them on their main piece/an accessory that caught my eye and ask how they got it (if it's brand), etc.
I've been in my comm for years and if I'm meeting someone for the first time it's usually because they're new, so engaging them is easier for me, but these are a few questions that would engage most people at meets, I think.

I'm gonna be in San Francisco the rest of this week- what all should I do besides shop at AP and Baby??

Any tea house recs or good places to take pictures? best place to eat sushi?

>>9974277
Harajuku Hearts is in SF
I highly suggest hitting up the golden gate park attractions, getting your nails done, and exploring the nightlife in SoMa. Bunch of great eats, every neighborhood has local spots that are worth going to.

>>9974282
>getting your nails done
where??

>>9974325
You want nail art or more of a spa experience anon?

>>9974277
For tea: Crown and Crumpet is right under Baby, so if you want quick nice tea that's convenient, I'd hit that up. If want cute, cozy, kitschy tea, do Lovejoy's. And if you're feeling fancy, go to the Rotunda downtown, which you can do at the same time as AP.

On the 25th, if you happen to be there, there's a Victorian themed dress up event at the Legion of Honor for their Pre-Raphaelite painting exhibit, and I think there's a few lolitas going to that. The exhibit is going on until the end of the month, so you can also go on your own, if you're interested in that kind of thing.

For pictures... idk maybe try Golden Gate Park? You can visit the Japanese tea garden, or the Palace of Fine Arts?

As for sushi... idk anything specific because I don't eat fish but you'll be in Japantown, there'll be plenty of sushi.

A girl in my "comm" is legitimately retarded or something along the lines
>her sentences are filled with typos/grammatical errors and sound like something a child would type
>pictures she takes are blurry or badly angled

What's your opinion on mentally deficient people in the lolita comm?
Honestly,I wish they just wouldn't touch our brand. She managed to get her hands on a print i want and she looks awful. I wish I could rebuy it from her but it probably smells bad too now. Never met her but she looks like someone that doesn't wash properly given how her skin and hair looks

>>9974431
i went to check and she got plenty of cute brand (and offbrand) dresses that were sold cheap.
she looks like absolute shit,oh my god you gulls have no idea,i wanna save those poor dresses

>>9974431
i went to check and she got plenty of cute brand (and offbrand) dresses that were sold cheap. She put her shoes on the dresses,lay them down on her dirty floor,...
she looks like an absolute mess my heart hurts for those dresses

>>9974431
peacockfeather?

>>9974456
Doubtful, unless she moved she's permabanned from the comm in AZ.

>>9974333
Nail art!

>>9974338
Ohh! I was thinking about going to Lovejoy's!

The 25th is actually my birthday!

I've already been to Japantown actually. I will probably do Lovejoy's or Crown and Crumpet on the 25th.

Thanks for the suggestions!

>>9974277

San Francisco recs: walk around the Presidio (less tourists than Golden Gate Park), choose a museum (there are lots), visit some free monuments like the Palace of the Fine Arts or the Wave Organ, find a privately-owned public garden (like the one at the top of the ONE Kearney building, pretty much right by Harajuku Hearts), walk around Lake Merced, walk along the Embarcadero and shop at the Ferry Building, go up in Coit Tower (or just admire the murals and skip going to the top), see if you can see the wild parrots near Telegraph Hill, go shopping and get a dessert from Hot Cookie on Castro street (yummy), have someone take your picture in Clarion Alley, go to cool stores like Decades of Fashion in the Haight-Ashbury district, check out the Camera Obscura and the ruins of the Sutro Baths, go to the top of the hill at Bernal Heights Park, visit the shops on Valencia Street in the Mission District. Lots and lots to do. Skip the touristy crap like Pier 39, Union Square, and the cars driving down the twisty portion of Lombard Street (seriously, it's not interesting).

Oh, and develop at least a passing familiarity with the bus routes. San Francisco is best seen on foot, and you can use buses to get close to pretty much everything worth seeing.

>>9974844
oh my god, thanks anon!

also how do people walk around in heels there? I had to change my shoes last time I went.

>>9974456
nah just a tard.
She looks so ugly too. And she's quite large. She buys a shitton of things but jfc she looks so bad in everything she buys. She can't coord,her hair is a mess,no makeup on her potato face,...
I get retards can be happy too but she's not fully retarded and it pains me to see cute dresses wasted on such an ugly,annoying girl (she flakes on buyers a lot)

>>9974871
>people walk around in heels there? I had to change my shoes last time I went.

Women in SF don't typically walk long distances in heels. They wear sensible shoes or bring a pair to change into. It ain't NYC

My ex comm mods bullied me in private so badly that the stress caused my immune system to attack my GI tract. Now I may never eat solid food again and I’m fucking pissed.

>sorry but I’m not going to name and shame, I just needed to get it off my chest

>>9975409
what the fuck anon
jfc i'm so sorry,what the hell?

>>9975409
I think you chose the wrong thread. the larp thread is this way >>9957005

>>9974431
Moitie ita?

>>9975412
I ended up in the ER twice with an acute stress reaction and have lost 47lbs since the first ER visit back in April. I wish I was larping.

>>9975417
You sound incredibly sensitive if you are literally shitting yourself over a couple of people bullying you. It's not like they are at your place of work, it's entirely optional.

>>9975417
That's not a lot of weight for that period of time anon... A healthy weight loss is 2.5lbs a week, you lost under that

>>9975413
not but very similar to her

>>9975432
Nice b8 I guess? I’ll bite. Without knowing how tall they are and what they started at you have absolutely no idea if it’s a lot of weight or not relative to their size. If they weighed 250 pounds then sure I guess you can say it’s not a ton. But if they weighed 120? That’s a huge percentage of their total weight, regardless of how fast they lost it. They don’t have an ED, and aren’t trying to lose weight...sounds like they have an autoimmune disease. In b4 you cry samefag, I am not GI tract anon, just a person who can’t believe you tried to suggest that this is somehow not horribly abnormal.

>>9975453
Based on your average gull she probably could have stood to lose the weight

>>9975454
When did the "gulls are fat" meme come about? It seems the majority of seagulls I have met are skinnyfat or ana-chans. Cosplay and lolita are not really fatty friendly hobbies despite their presence. At least not in the way that tabletop gaming and anime are.

>>9975457
Lurk more newfag

>>9975457
To be fair I was Fat.

>>9975453
I’ve been losing around 3 lbs a week while bed bound and desperately trying to get my weight stable for at least 6 of those weeks. (If I keep up this pace, I’ll have to have a feeding tube in a few months.) My intake is two ensures a day at 440 calories total, any more than that makes me throw up, my stomach is partially paralyzed now so anything with fat or much fiber is off the table as are solids (smoothies can cause blockages and make me really sick so no more fresh fruit and veg ever again) My blood pressure has dropped 30 points, any slight bump bruises me, and my hair fell out so I had to chop 15 inches off.
I’d say that’s pretty abnormal.

>>9974832
RE: nails

I like tootsie toes for being pretty easy to book (like not slammed or by appointment only) and having decent art

>>9975481
Anon, that sounds like Crohn's disease. I probably developed it because of my horrible excuse for a mother's daily tard rages. Try hard keto (high natural fat, under 20% of carbs a day, no processed food), it unironically saved my life, stabilized my weight, and eventually helped me gain muscle. Start by mixing coconut oil and butter in hot drinks and soups. I know it sounds crazy, but give it a week. The hardcore meds for Crohn's are carcinogenic in the long run, and they don't completely work or may stop being effective at any moment.
>no more fresh fruit and veg ever again
Fiber is overrated, the fat will keep you regular, but once you recover, you can have some bites of fruit once in a while.
https://www.dietdoctor.com/crohns-disease-successfully-treated-paleolithic-ketogenic-diet
https://www.reddit.com/r/ketogains/

>>9975492
Didn't realize this was /fit/

>>9975492
It’s dysmotility of some kind, we’ve established that solid food isn’t leaving my stomach in a timely manner (throwing up completely undigested food 10+ hours later so like ~5x the normal rate) I have a few conditions that predispose me to electrical problems with my nervous system so I’m on the waitlist for more specialized testing.

I just never in a million years could guessed that stress could trigger something like this. (Or that people I trusted for years, would intentionally cause so much stress) I left lolita because of this too, but I’ve been doing just fine without. They haven’t tried to contact me after the second ER trip but if they ever do again I’m getting a no contact order.

>>9975506
>5x SLOWER
Sorry, it’s kinda hard to think right now.

>>9975409
This sounds like bullshit. If you're not even going to name the comm then you were probably causing issues and you know you're in the wrong.

>>9975409
wtf anon. What are they saying to you?

>>9975527
this

>>9975501
Staying fit is beneficial for a) fitting into frills, and b) staying healthy enough to work a good job to afford the frills.

>>9975506
Stress can definitely trigger autoimmune disease.
https://newatlas.com/stress-autoimmune-disease-ptsd/55109/
No idea what exactly they did to you, but there's no reason why you can't be a lonelita once you recover. Fat has more calories per gram than protein or carbs, it's also not inflammatory if you use healthy fats, so it might still be a good idea to add a little butter or coconut oil to warm liquids to stop your rapid weightloss. Just a tiny bit at first, to see how your system handles it. The "no fat" guidelines are because you can't digest fried stuff, sausages and other heavy junk. And it would have to be fat, not protein, as protein has a high chance of making dysmotility worse.

tl;dr: following medical advice on a Buthanese napkin folding forum may not seem like a good idea, but it's not a method that will kill you.

>>9975563
thanks anon you got me to check if Bhutan was a real country or not

>>9975506
If you have autonomic issues already a neurologically-mediated dysmotility is possible, which sucks as there's no medicine that will 100% fix it. It's difficult if things are staying in your stomach as fats don't get digested until the small intestine; some of the exclusive enteral nutrition protocols are better tolerated (e.g. continuous ensure) and it's usually super important to keep eating/drinking at least small amounts because it actually helps your gut be at least partially normal. I imagine you already do the "sips every few minutes" thing and try to have small amounts of the ensure frequently. I have a friend with bad autonomic dysfunction to the point where she faints heaps, has to catheterize herself, and has been in hospital on and off for months at a time so she's had (and managed to get through) the gut issues and had a tube for 6 months while they worked on "gut rehab". There's nothing wrong with her organs it's just that all the signals are really screwy. She also has psych as well since any stress etc makes it way worse, and because she had really bad depression last time she was in and it was taking ages to get better

>>9974871
These are great suggestions. Seconding skipping all the tourist crap.
I would also add
- Loved to Death (cool goth shit to look at)
- Dandelion Chocolate (there's one on Valencia street)
- The Botanical Gardens
- There's lots of good JP places to eat. Yelp has good recs. Just don't waste your time in Japantown. Most of the food is crap aimed at tourists but I do reccomend stopping by Tan Tan and Belly Good Crepes
- Lots of really good Asian cafes with tasty sweets

>>9969858
as a foreigner of this world, what do you do when you meet, do you have other interests or do you talk only about dresses et similia?

>>9975848
In my comm it's common to just talk about the fashion with girls one doesn't know too well, and talk about other things with the girls one has already befriended or knows to some extent... minus the social retards that like to screech about their favorite animu or whatever their flavor of the month sexuality is, but they're an outlier adn should not be counted.

So fucking sick of trannies in my comm.

Wow, this thread got hammered.

>>9969858
>Feel free to discuss or just vent.
I just want to vent this. I joined the Lolita community and almost immediately got harassed by people online. No matter what I did it wouldn't stop. I didn't understand why. A few years later it came out that people confused me for a lolcow, and I had ONE personal vendetta that would shitpost negative things about me everywhere. After that one vendetta got outed and banned from communities all harrassment I recieved just magically stopped. people felt bad for confusing me for someone else, other people admitted to feeling guilty and just going with the flow because they thought everyone hated me when it was just one petty samefag.
during the time of the anon hate, I actually got banned from a few communities I never attended, had to fib about my name in emails in order to buy things from other lolitas since they wouldn't sell to me, and would wake up to emails from complete strangers telling me they found my facebook and are happy that my longterm boyfriend broke up with me or some other personal shit.

the whole experience distanced me from the community, but also made me very wary of social media. I love Jfashion so much, but I'm geniunely terrified to get back into it again.

>>9975930
You can get back into jfash and not post online you dumbass

>>9975932
because putting on jfashion reminds me of bad times and I've drifted away from it.
Yeah Jfashion is great, but anytime I put it on I'm reminded of the time I was in an abusive relationship with someone who posed as me online to try to get the entire jfashion community to hate me to draw me closer to him.
Its just ruined by association at this point

>>9975933
Sounds like a case of sensitive feefees

>>9975935
somewhere in between those emails and getting hot coffee thrown at me by another lolita I was broken I guess.

>>9975937
i cri errytim

>>9975937
Don't respond to bait anon. Learn how to use the internet again and just do what makes you happy.
If it really bothers you make pseudonymous profiles and interact with your comm/ the greater community through it.
If you go to a meet, show you're not a creeper that sort of thing is not discouraged.

>>9975854
Tired of all the Cis people in my comm.

>>9975997
this is a womans hobby, leave your fetish/mental issues out of it. You don't look cute, and hide your fucking adams apple.

>>9976002
nayrt but there are some good brolitas. Even if there weren't as long as someone dresses well for their body type, and keeps their drama to themselves, they're probably a more worthwhile lolita to interact with than you

>>9976002
>woman's hobby
well looks like I'm in the right place.

>>9975997
They're most likely referring to transVESTITES, anon. You know, cis men who wear women's clothing often for fetish purposes?
Most people have no problems with trans folk who make an effort to pass, dress well, and make appropriate conversation.

It's the Brolita Jenny types and Tumblr genderqueer potato people with loud hair, nerd glasses, and no sense of style who cause complaints.

>>9976002
fuck you, for real. keep your fucking bigotry out of my hobby

>>9975937
>getting hot coffee thrown at me

What the actual fuck? What did this person you got confused for do that was bad enough to warrant this? I'm really sorry this happened to you, please ignore the baiting anon.

>>9976082
What bigoted about not wanting fetishists in your hobby?

>>9976081
Expecting trans people to “pass” is transphobic.

>>9976089
We expect cis men to pass too though, if only somewhat. A guy who doesn't put in the effort into looking significantly feminine is often suspected of being a fetishist, and for good reason because most guys like this are indeed into it for the fetish rather than fashion.
You'd be surprised how many of them abuse the trans label so people wouldn't call them out on their shit.
>Y-You can't call me out on flashing my panties at other comm members at meetups, I'm a trans woman, are you a bigot or something??
>inb4 hurr things that never happened
It has happened (and likely still is happening) in several different comms around the world so it's not even exclusive to one specific area.

>>9976086
nayrt but it’s really not surprising the things people do in this hobby to others even when it’s not something related to or effecting them. bitches be wild, anon.

>>9975997
as much as I understand the point you’re getting at, you gotta understand the amount of sissy “trannies” that invade this space to force their fetish shit on. until it’s not an issue anymore women in this hobby are going to apprehensive of anyone that’s potentially like this

>>9976104
As far as online harassment goes I've pretty much lost all hope of people acting like rational adults already, but I figured they would still have somewhat of a mental barrier against behaving that way in real life, towards another human being who they can see and talk to and read the emotions of. I mean, that requires some serious lack of empathy. I guess I was wrong though

>>9976107
that’s called a sociopath, anon. it’s better to just avoid all contact with those types. no matter what you do online or irl they will always justify anything they do to harm others.

>>9976089
>>9976103
Imo it's not about passing but an effort to look good. It's generally expected in lolita to choose flattering clothes, do your hair and have a generally finished look. If those things are not done it's usually going to look bad no matter the gender.

>>9976128
Passing does matter though, because if a guy has more clear masculine features and wears sweet lolita, people will advise him (or talk behind his back in fear of being labeled "bullies") to try classic or gothic instead.

>>9972002

Truth. Everyone was creaming themselves for that matcha dessert place in the Japantown mall.

Pun intended, I guess.

>>9974871

Confirming that it's very difficult to walk around San Francisco in heels. I can do it in comfortable leather boots or mary jane flats, but otherwise I just wear tennis shoes.

Adding to the list that was already posted, there are also some pretty good "stairway walks" in the city, the most famous of which is the 16th Avenue Tiled Steps. They are very pretty. But when I went there is person, the experience was kind of ruined by a horde of Asian tourists blocking the steps to take pictures. Another free thing to try is the Seward Mini Park Slides. In a very hilly residential neighborhood, someone installed these cement slides that kids are supposed to go on, but lots of adults go on them as well! There is also the Musee Mechanique, but that is all the way up near Fisherman's Wharf and might not be worth a trip into such a crowded area.

>>9976653
be careful of hypodermic needles and feces everywhere while walking in San Francisco

>>9976132
Heaps of women in mature features also don't suit sweet. It's not transphobia, it's how reality works, them's the breaks. A guy transitioning not into a woman his own age like a normal person, but who wants to be a cute lil' girl uwu just screams fetishist sissy, and he probably creams his bloomers and pettis to the thought too. Dnw.

>>9976107
Rule of thumb is to never show yourself vulnerable to people you only know online, certainly not in a community where you have no control over who has access to what you post. I've met a grand total of two people online that I clicked with and completely trust, out of thousands.

>>9975997
Maybe make your own com with only trans lolitas, tucutes and gender specials. it'll be fun having to deal with all of your mental issues and lack of boundaries among people who get it. There'll be no drama at all, I guarantee it. Go for it, anon.

>>9975997
>i hate 99% of my comm

>>9976709
sounds pretty typical tbqfh

>>9976701
When our worst sissy (we’ve had several) flounced from our comm he took several nonbinary handmaidens with him to start a new NICE lolita comm UwU and it imploded within a month. They were all too busy with their mental illnesses and posting each other to cgl to organize anything and eventually the creator of the FB group ragequit the whole thing. Some of them still loiter around cons telling everyone that all lolitas are stuck up bully bitches.

>>9976701
I'm >>9976132 and not sure why you're explaining transphobia to me, I was commenting on the fact it's important for guys to look like they're putting in an effort to look good (in this case, pass as a girl), even if they don't identify as women.
If someone is a trans woman and doesn't try to pass at all, expecting her to do so when in lolita isn't asking much and it sure as hell isn't transphobia.

>>9969865
I know so many people who do this an on the day of put an "i woke up late" or "I have a headache" or nothing at all in the page and dont show up and make reservations useless.

>>9969887
It's also weird. When I was a teen I never wanted parents to attend any meets with me, because it was "me time". Kids need to have their own thing.

>>9976748
> it imploded within a month.
Naturally. That's why they try so hard to ingratiate themselves with normal people, the disgusting pervs. They can't keep a community running by themselves because they're parasites and end up eating their own.

>>9976755
I was agreeing with you and trying to add to your argument because I've had it up till here. I'm in this fashion for the fashion, not to cater to some sociopath's menagerie of mental illnesses, and real women get shat on for not looking cute enough all the time too, it's not something only trannies get to whine about.

>>9969865
>>9969899
>>9976812
One woman in my comm is notorious for putting herself on “going” for every single meetup even when she knows she won’t be able to make it, and she never lets the host know she won’t be coming, not even last minute. It’s gotten to the point where people are surprised when she does show up. She’s super sweet so nobody ever calls her out on it but jesus, lady. How hard is it to at least click “maybe”?

>>9976748
Hey let's take a drama prone group of people and start our own niche sub-group of a already drama filled niche. What could go wrong?

>>9974431
There are a few people in my comm’s FB group with some kind of mental handicap, who are in special education or sheltered employment and don’t have full control of their own finances. Most don’t actually wear lolita, they rarely if ever come to meetups and I suspect many of them don’t fully understand what lolita is and just see something cute and sparkly that reminds them of Disney princesses.

Since most of them don’t actually wear the fashion there’s no risk of them mistreating brand. I’ve only met one who was self-sufficient enough to come to meetups without some kind of supervision, and while she was very friendly it was pretty awkward to talk to someone who clearly didn’t really grasp what our comm is about. She pretty much ignored everything I said and constantly kept changing the topic back to MLP, how we each reminded her of a pony (I was Rarity lol) and how much she wanted her grandmother to make her a dress with an MLP print. At the meet she was wearing a JSK badly constructed out of a children’s bedscheet, and much of her bra was showing. Yeah, awkward.

Most of them have never been to a meetup, though. Usually they just post in the FB group about things completely unrelated to lolita that the rest of us kind of ignore? It’s pretty awkward but I guess nobody wants to upset them by explaining that random dollar store toys with Disney characters on them don’t belong in the group. It’s hard to predict how regular people will react to criticism, let alone someone with an intellectual disability. They might take it very well or they might get upset and trigger a shitstorm. Nobody’s wants to be seen as ableist or anything like that, especially our mods, so I have no idea what they would do in that situation.

>>9976709
It probably shows. I've met a couple of people where you can almost taste the dislike of anyone but themselves.

>>9977266
Our comm used to have a mod who clearly hated nearly everyone and would whisper about people to her one friend at meetups. I don't understand why someone like this would keep coming to meetups full of people she hates, let alone mod an entire community. I don't get along with everyone equally but if I dislike practically everyone at a certain meetup I just stay home.

>>9977262
Truthfully I don't see why the mods just don't quietly kick them from the FB group. If they're as bad off mentally as it sounds then they'll probably just go elsewhere without a care. It always confused me as to how people like that get social media in the first place if they can't go around without supervision in public.

>>9972627
I feel you anon, similar thing happened to me and it resulted in me getting kicked from a comm. Sucks seeing them around my city giving me evils.

>tfw my SO wants to move to Alaska in the next few years.

Are there even lolitas in Alaska?

>>9977492
Yeah but I think they're all in Anchorage.

>>9977376
They usually get help from a family member or other caregiver in setting up a profile and joining groups.

>>9977376
You know excluding someone for a disability is discrimination right? Even illegal?

>>9978309
Please get the police and the courts to punish the elitist lolitas for excluding you in a hobby.

>>9978309
You know that type of discrimination is only illegal with things like employment decisions, right? Your whining is on the same level as annoying kids with no social skills who complain to teacher that the others on the playground don't want to include them. You're not entitled to friends, and you're equally not entitled to be included within any fashion community or FB group in general.

>>9978398
They do have a fair point, not necessarily the one they think they're making.
Most people don't bother actually reviewing laws and how they work.
They know discrimination gets you sued.
On the other hand, most if not all lolita moderation teams using fb and other sites want to avoid dealing with problems using the site caused the corporation acting on discrimination claims, not the state.
So while you're not breaking laws you're still feeling consequences.

>>9978402
Doubt you'll be able to make friends by pissing off the entire group though

>>9978433
Tbh I think most people will be relieved. I would still be friends with a person who banished a very clearly out of place mentally challenged ita. Despite all the PC culture, no one wants to be around them or associated with them.

>>9975997
>>9976089
actual transwymin here, fuck off.
Pass,don't be a creep,that's it. And don't be so fucking entitled about people not wanting to date/fuck you either because some of you bitches don't seem to know that.

Just putting on a dress and being all uwu doesn't make you a woman.

>>9978505
Careful anon, heavens if you get called a terf for speaking too much truth.

>>9978505
cute false flag anon

>>9978505
I'M not like OTHER trannys.
Like no shit don't be a creep/ expect people to date you. Why would I want to date someone who doesn't want anything to do with me? Also if passing was just as easy and putting in effort to do so 99% of transwoman would pass. Bone structure is pretty unchangeable.

>>9978619
Nayrt, of course you can't change your bone structure but wearing well applied makeup that flatters you together with a wig (if you need one) that's properly styled, and generally wearing garments that fit and flatter you, isn't a lot to expect.
Many guys that identify as "trans women" don't go through this "effort", they just slap on whatever they think is makeup and wear whatever frilly shit they can get their hands on and go to meetups like that - If you look like shit, it'll be much easier to tell you're not there for fashion, and if you're not there for fashion, you shouldn't be in a comm in the first place.

>>9978488
I meant that an ita throwing a hissy fit and causing problems in groups won't make any friends in comms

>>9978619
>Why would I want to date someone who doesn't want anything to do with me?
That’s what I’d like to know, but transactivists like Drew DeVeaux, Julia Serano, Riley Dennis and the transwoman who caused a bunch of drama in my comm a few years ago are pressuring lesbians to “reevaluate” their sexuality to include penises and taking baseball bats to Pride to intimidate “transmisogynist” lesbians. I’m sure most trans people aren’t entitled rapey assholes but entitled rapey trans people absolutely do exist and they do prey on lolita communities. You can’t always spot them from a distance either. Sometimes they put quite a lot of effort into passing and you only find out how scummy they are once something upsets them and they start telling girls to “choke on my girldick”. I used to be super into intersectional feminism and being an ally but being involved in my lolita comm gave me so many bad experiences that I now prefer to keep my distance.

Recently fount out there's a self entitled #confetticlub lolcow in my comm for being into DDLG and a problematic Lolita that other Jfash comms have had an issue with too. It definitely surprised me, but I can see why she's on there and it looks like she'll be sticking around for a while. Charming.

>>9978886
>it looks like she'll be sticking around for a while
Why not take it up with the mods? I understand the inclination to avoid conflict and drama but speaking as a mod, if I were unaware that a member of my comm was into ddlg and this member bothered the other girls, I'd want to know about it. Obviously not all mods are the same but hopefully you know what I mean.

Anyone here went to the opening of Au boudoir d'Alice in Montreal this past weekend? What are your thoughts on it?

>>9978891
There's a chance they are aware as a post about someone being bullied in the comm really seemed aimed at that not long after it was made, not sure if she's playing the victim card or what, but if other comms have had issues with her before that just speaks of bad news. We've never had any cows before so it's a first, hoping it doesn't escalate into a bigger problem.

>>9975997
Tired of trans people making every hobby they touch all about them

>>9978903
My mind is blown that they're going to be stocking Millefleurs! Finally there may be a way to get Millefleurs things easily and without customs! But why don't they have a web store? I want to support a new Canadian lolita store but I life far away.

>>9978903
desu i was entirely put off of it by Lor endorsing it

>>9978943
I normally would be but, fuck, they have Millefleurs

>>9978942
They intend on opening one in the future.

>>9978943
Why? Is it a bad thing?

>>9978943
The fuck is your lor hate anon? Did she fart on you at a meet or something?

>>9979139
I just dislike her attitude, I think she's a bad influence and doesn't actually want people to improve fashion wise, just to pander to newbies and itas feelings so she has her following. I also don't think someone like her should be giving concrit when she wears a floral dress with a donut dress. there are a lot more issues I have with her.

why are you so upset? All I said was I was put off of something she endorsed and you flew off the handle.

Does anyone know any good comms in montreal?

>>9979155
The main comm page on fb is Lolitas de Montréal, (and if you dont speak French, don't worry, most if not all people in the comm are bilingual)

>>9979237
thanks mate!

>>9979139
She was in my comm and was a perma ita. She had to record every meet and screech into her video camera. Be thankful you never had to experience her firsthand

>>9979295
damn, i went to her store the other day and she seemed really nice, does she have a youtube channel were she posts those screeching videos?

>>9979337
Are you talking about the Alice store, or Lovely Lor? There's nothing wrong with the store. People seem to have a bee in their bloomers about Lor because she's not making professional, advanced lolita content.

>>9979385
oh god i'm so sorry I tought everyone was talking about the store, not lore. Man what a relief

>>9979295
If you are going to lie try making it sound like it happened.

Met a girl in my comm, super enormous fan of Lor.
Went into a sermon about the Kelly Eden debacle and how Lor absolutely did the best job reporting on it, and would go 'yeah Lor was talking about that in her video about.."

Nice girl. Dumb as a fucking stump though.

>>9979561
desu sounds pretty believable to me.

>>9979561
Sorry that itas and lolitas-at-heart only watch your videos filmed with a ten year old camera. Learn how to coord before you try defending yourself

>>9976658

This is a myth propagated by Reddit. That kind of crud is only in a few areas. If you think all of San Francisco is covered with human waste and dirty needles, you've probably never been out of the Tenderloin.

>>9980654
Uhh.
I was there recently. Golden gate park is kind of ok, but the popular places to go party or hang out are pretty awful.
Even in the rich areas I wouldn't be surprised to see a honeypot of shit.

>>9970215
"her"

>>9980711

>>9974431
We might be in the same comm if her name seems like a retarded person tried to spell her common first name and her last name sounds like the kind of sound you'd expect her to make just by looking at her. Like a drugged, sloppy frog.

>>9974431
>our brand

Doesn't belong to you, belongs to them. There's no use being an asshole over this. If nothing else, just buy it off of them. The smell will air out soon enough.

Has anyone figured out a good way to do group pictures at meets without having them be ruined by the itas, short of straight up telling them to fuck off? They always seem to wind up in the front, because of course they do.

>>9982859
Take the group photo with everyone to be polite/inclusive, then take another photo with only the people you invite to be in it.

>>9982865
I guess I could give it a shot, but in this case most of the comm is passably dressed. It's usually just 10% of the girls there who are actively ruining the photo, which makes it awkward.

>>9982865
Diff anon but seconding your advice. I've asked to take pictures with a smaller group of people and it's worked fine. If itas still try to worm their way in, ask them to wait then take a couple pictures with them included so they don't whine that they were left out

>>9982879
>>9983166
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this shit in my comm.

Get over yourselves.

>>9983169
What's the problem?

>>9983195
>these people are ruining my picture cause I don't like how they look
This doesn't happen in my comm.

Those anons sound annoying and stuck up.

>>9983196
How is it stuck up to want pictures without those who are badly dressed? I don't expect everyone to be 100% done up and perfect, but at least wear a petticoat and don't be an ita. Like come on, it's a literal fashion community. Maybe your comm is just better dressed than mine, you might think differently if you knew just how bad some girls here look.

New thread: >>9983434

>>9983196
>This doesn't happen in my comm.
It probably does, and if you don't realize it...

>>9983436
>This doesn't happen in my com
>No I also do not recall seeing the Walmart clown that hides from gay people
I kek

>>9983436
If some girl is secretly seething while we take photos then it is her own damn fault for hanging out with people she doesn't like.

If you don't want to be around people, why waste time with them and then go out of your way to treat them like shit? Why waste the time and energy on it when you could just not deal with it all together?

>>9983463
The problem is that I like most of my comm, just not the few itas shitting it up.

>>9983463
I don’t want to hang with itas and don’t. It’s just that whenever I’m trying to take pictures with my nicely dressed friends, they jump in because lolitas are lovelies and we’re supposed to be inclusive.

>>9969871
Local girl in comm who claims to love meeting new people whilst blatantly ignoring people who aren't up to her standard who approach her, only really associates herself with other lolitas or cosplayers with large followings and tags them on instagram, but won't even tag the friends she came with.
She's really efame hungry and it's so easy to see.

>>9983196
I've taken photos with the itas in my comm and while I don't consider myself to be at god tier with my coords, I can dress decently. These photos wind up in the ita thread and I get lumped together with these people when people comment. So fuck you, I'm taking separate group pictures if I want to