/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I'll start.

I've started to really prefer Chinese brands for most things. I like having a few really good pieces from AP and BTSSB, but I wear Lolita a lot and taobao brands definitely have a lot more choice to build up a full wardrobe. I still like jp brands of course, and the quality doesn't compare, but I haven't really loved a jp brand release in a few years now.
Chinese brands are definitely hit and miss, but there's a lot of great and unusual stuff that you just don't find Japanese brands making, particularly a lot of original prints, I'm so over AP's obsession with slapping crosses and layers of delicate (read: easily snagged) chiffon on everything.

>>9900736
>I'm so over AP's obsession with slapping crosses on everything

They stopped doing this almost completely like a year ago. Where the fuck have you been?

I highkey judge the fatties who comment on my food print coords. Like yeah I'm not surprised you love my Melty Cream Donut you Melty Chub Dipshit. But ofc I lie to them about appreciating their comments and likes so they keep supporting me.

Getting a human hair fringe clip-on was the best 20€ ever spent for this fashion. I have a rectangular headdress obsession to satisfy.

This might be more of a feel than a confession but all the same:
I feel like I have an emotional, almost spiritual connection with my frills, particularly my dresses. I love taking care of them, making sure they're clean and ironed, that every ribbon is tied neatly, every button is in place, every ruffle and bit of lace retains its beautiful shape...
I love wearing them too, obviously; wearing my dresses feels like I'm getting a warm hug, but there's something about taking care of them that I just adore. It kind of feels like they're the closest thing to lovers that I'll ever have and in a way I'm okay with that.

I got posted

>>9900761
How did you react? Asking seriously.

>making these threads lolita specific now

>>9900766
No one is stopping you from making a cosplay confession thread if you really want.

>>9900769
we have in the past, and even when threads are cosplay specific, lolitas get their grubby hands on it and fill it with lolitaposting

>>9900771
>lolitas get their grubby hands on it and fill it with lolitaposting
>things that never happen
Your self victimizing is pathetic.

>>9900764
Like shit

>>9900741
Unicorn Mermaid had crosses for no good reason. I know they're getting better about it but it's still weird when it doesn't match the theme.

I change little things on my brand items a lot because I'm really anal, but I will just change it back before selling and not say anything about it.
for example I don't like gold, so if something has gold buttons I'll change them.
I figure it's no real harm done but I still feel guilty every time I cut the thread of a button or charm

>>9900779
ok but like 7 print releases before it, and toy doll box, don't have crosses
saying you're over it is like getting upset at Baby's "obsession" for slapping usakumyas on all their prints when it's only once in a while

Lolita made me question my sexuality. I think I might be bi, or a lesbian. I'm worried no one will love me though.

>>9900779
Unicorn mermaid has the crosses because it's milky cross2 electric boogaloo. It does match the theme.

I buy ott dresses just for the purpose for when I work with children that they think I'm a princess. We both love it

>>9900791
I’ll love you anon


To keep this related to thread; I’m getting fat again due to all my emotional eating. Looking at the three dresses that don’t fit me makes me feel disgusted in myself. I wish my bust were 86 cm but I’m stuck at 90-92 thanks to my ribcage and back. I’m such a fatty.

I use dog perfume on my clothing because it's gentler and smells like baby powder

>>9900811
Never even knew there was such a thing! Learn something new everyday

I'm jealous of how many likes people get on cof.
Trying to not let it get to me.

>>9900811
why would you put it on your clothing? wtf

>>9900833
Yeah I low key stole it from my grandmother who uses it on her yorkie. I have no idea where she got this specific kind but I'm obsessed with it

>>9900840
It's called putting perfume on, I spritz it on my clothes to make the scent last longer

I look down on lolitas that are part of a comm. They probably didn't have any friends so they need a facebook group that organises meet-ups. From what I hear on cgl and other places, most lolitas in a comm are socially inept.

>>9900834
Just stop looking at CoF.

>>9900844
you don't care about the alcohol and other ingredients damaging your clothes?

>>9900844
https://www.wikihow.com/Apply-Perfume

>>9900844
as a perfumehead, you aren't supposed to put it on clothes at all.

>>9900845
I mean most people don't have similar hobbies as irl friends from school. The whole point of joining a comm is to make friends with similar hobbies.

>>9900844
>to make the scent last longer
it doesn't work like that. it's made to last and smell good on skin, adding fabric can actually change the scent, that's why it's recommended you to put it on before getting dressed. but i guess if you use dog perfume you should put it on your hair lol.

I love the smell of second hand brand and refuse to wash it for one or two wears (unless there are stains, of course). It's nothing sexual, a lot of lolitas just seem to use really nice perfume or have pleasant body odor.

>>9900868
I am definitely going to think twice before selling something now

>>9900855
Fuck off soup

I buy at least 3 copies of hyped dresses so I can sell them for more later, and use the profit to pay for my own frills. Sometimes I buy up to 5 and list them with a few different accounts to avoid suspicion.

>>9900893
I do this too. Milked the shit out of fancy hospital when it came out

I can't stop buying socks. I'm probably at 70 pairs by now. Please help

There’s a serious lack of good lolita youtubers because too many people are afraid of being posted for it

>>9900845
Tbf you only hear about the wacky comm members on cgl. Someone who is perfectly polite, unassuming and not a train wreck isn’t gonna be mentioned (in a bad way)

>>9900899
No, it's because most lolita youtubers are too uncreative or boring to be good and can only consume.

>>9900899
Also because many of the ones that are out there are mostly into it for efame. When you do something out of some agenda or a craving for fame rather than your personal passion, it shows.

I kicked some guy in the balls for pay for 3 hours.
In lolita

>>9900907
Get your paycheck girl.

>>9900907
A completely valid source of income. I respect you anon. Hope the pay was good.

>>9900899
It's for the best.

>>9900907
Need me a man like that

>>9900846
There's no alcohol in it, it's perfume for dogs woof

I hate the attention I get when I wear lolita. I've been wearing it daily for about 7 years, I know it's inevitable and I'm always polite when approached... but at the same time, I just hate the attention. I hate it when people stare and gawk and think it's okay to make my fashion choices (or whatever they imagine my fucking sex life is) their personal business.
I put up with it because that's just how things go when you wear alt fashion and I love lolita too much to give it up because of insignificant things like this; but I do seriously wish I could wear the fashion without people making a big deal about it.

>>9900736
I love the novelty you can get with Chinese brands. For quality and for nonprint pieces I strongly prefer brand, but for prints I tend towards Taobao and American indie brands. Sometimes they look a little bit "clipart" but I just am not impressed with most brand prints, especially for the money. I'm not interested in paying $280 for another clouds print or alice print or candy print but you bet your ass I'll pay $45 for dumb crazy fruit battleship or machine gun print from taobao.

Meta's got this down pat already but I feel like if brands adopted novelty concepts more frequently, with higher quality art and construction than taobao, they could easily bring many buyers back who have drifted to taobao.

anybody who says that taobao is as good quality is brand is delusional af though

transtrenders who wear lolita and want to identify as men are disgusting

>>9900744
I feel similar, I love repairing and restoring older pieces. It feels really nice and calming to repair them, even better that I now have something beautiful to wear that was super cheap and is a piece of lolita history

>>9900930
Why tho

>>9900806
How tall are you?

I think lolita "collectors" are dumb, greedy and need mental help. I automatically disregard any comments they make on posts and refuse to sell to them.

>>9900934
It's taking advantage of the trans movement. I'm okay with seeing gender as a spectrum and bi gender people can exist, but people who identify themselves as transmen and yet are fine presenting as a woman in lolita anyways without feeling dysphoria are willing to put in minimal effort. It's taking advantage of a serious issue for brownie points imo. a lot of actual trans people deal with serious bigotry and then we have people who want to be in the same space who just cut their hair short or just "kinda wanna be called he pronouns"
it's gross

>>9900942
Careful, the demi boys and their white knights will call you a turf nazi bigot for speaking so much truth.

>>9900730
I mostly buy main pieces and forego accessorizing. I only own 6 blouses, 2 pairs of brand socks (I mostly wear normie brand tights), and less than 10 hair pieces.

I've been forcing myself to get away from buying main pieces though and actually bought socks, jewelry, a purse, and another blouse in the last 2 weeks.

I'll be in casual lolita for a wedding and going to a latex fet event the next night.

>>9900784
I’m never thinking of selling them again, but I’m getting a bunch of brand items tailored ASAP because I’m a smidge too busty for them to be comfortable. Something about altering brand still feels like sacerilidge, but I keep reminding myself they’re my clothes and there’s no sense keeping around items I can’t wear.

Slightly more original confession: I totally Facebook stalk people in my comm and judge them before I actually meet them in person. Like if you’re going to a meet but every other photo of you is with your titties out or just overall seeming kinda trashy/dumpy/etc, I’m going to be silently keeping my distance when the meet comes around. Obviously I understand the whole “lolitas don’t have to be lovelies” thing, it’s just that of how you present yourself on social media is that fundamentally different from me, I’m going to assume we aren’t going to mesh socially.

I own between 40-50 main pieces and own zero brand socks/tights and hardly any brand accessories. I prefer solid or lightly printed tights/socks anyway but I remember seeing the meme "spent all your money on your main piece" and that's true. I just don't get excited about anything except main pieces.

I feel like higher neck blouses make my head look really big and are very unflattering on me as a result, which sucks because those are the ones that usually are aesthetically pleasing.

>>9900960
wtf

I only own like three pairs of shoes. Finding shoes good for gothic, that come in tiny sizes, and are confortable is the worst.

>>9900980
but you can use normie shoes. what's your shoe size?

>>9900981
4 or 5 US. Also I favor platforms, normie shoes don't cut it.

>>9900960
>>9900974
I still have those things, just not brand

>>9900918
perfume for dogs can have alcohol in it

>>9900960
Honestly same, although I’m bulking up on brand accessories at the moment. I just want some nice understated lacy tights to go with my detailed solids. It’s hard out there for a classic lolita.

>>9900925
Those Japanese brand designers are lolitas too and they get inspired by Alice in Wonderland. Sweets, churches, clouds, stuffed animals etc are common, because the girls who already liked that kind of stuff in the first place are more likely to be interested in lolita fashion.
Tbh I would lose respect for a lolita brand that does a random machine gun or pokemon print or something. Lolita is more than just a printed knee-length dress with a petticoat.

>>9900980
Out of curiosity, where do you get your shoes from? I know this belongs in the dumb questions thread but I have the same problem.

I steeped my hair into the ILD picnic tea so I'll always be a part of my comm.

>>9901028
You wouldn't "always" be part of your com. This logic is bs. After a while the minuscule amount of dna that your hair grease would have provided will pass out of their systems.

>>9901020
I tend to buy Yosuke when I can find a pair of lolita appropriate shoes (they've been leaning more chunky than I can pull off lately) their 23cm size is only a little too big. Queen Bee is their sister brand that's not very goth. Other than that Demonia occasionally runs small enough.

I miss the mid-2000s, demonia's witch style shoes were my dreams.

>>9900942
This is why I don't say I'm trans

>in b4 shut up tumblrina demiboi
Not whatever the fuck it is, I hate tumblr sjw libtard types. I just like my Frills and y'all can pry it out of my cold dead tranny hands

>>9900899
the only Lolita youtuber I watch is Milkbox desu she seems intelligent and other Lolita youtubers try to do this "lolitas are lovelies" thing where they act so fake nice it's repulsive.

>>9900946

Just buy OPs with their matching hair accessories instead of jsks.

You can buy lace tights from regular shops/Sockdreams/Ali and you're done. Jewellery isn't visible from afar anyway, with some dresses being so fancy you don't really need it. So long as your shoes and bag don't clash with your dress you're done.

I mean, I get why people buy jsks, but if your main thrill comes from buying main pieces, why not just buy onepieces and ditch the blouses. Then you can buy as many dresses as you want without forcing yourself to buy a blouse.

>>9901086
>why not just buy onepieces and ditch the blouses

AYRT - that's basically what I do. I own mostly OPs but have a few JSKs and skirts that I feel deserve more attention and care into how I wear them. After all, I bought them because I liked them and want to wear them.

>>9901060
Be you anon, just don't be a twat about it.

>>9901060
cringe.

>>9901017
out of curiosity what's your opinion of Metamorphose? they haven't done anything to the caliber of machine guns, but they've done some neat novelty themes (squirrels+typewriters, hot air balloons, soap and bath toys, i even have an old meta piece that has a print of a syringe sticking out of a cherry next to a strawberry in a specimen jar) and seem to do well financially.

>>9900924
Same. I've been in the fashion for over a decade and I still feel uncomfortable wearing a proper coord on my own. It kinda makes me feel less of a Lolita for feeling anxious for going out even in the most toned down, unrecognizably Lolita outfit. I think that being a non white person living in a conservative area has to do something with it. People here have a need to question if someone is nicely dressed. Even wearing makeup feels Ott here. Kinda feel like Momoko except for leggings instead of tracksuits. Igdi. I don't know you and so why tf do you care about where I'm going?

Gonna sound weeaby here, but I miss Japan. I like how they have standards and a sense of pride (or shame?) of how one appears in public.

>>9901193
((Nayrt but what's the name of the cherry syringe print desu))

>>9900960
>>9901086
honestly my fav thing about buying a dress is planning a coord, buying a dress alone is like, crazy to me. Buying anything- a bag, socks, shoes, to me is very exciting.

I own some brand socks. Besides tights, I feel there's no point to buying them. they're nicer than taobao socks, but eventually they'll get dirty, plus I like buying second hand stuff much more (i'm cheap, okay) and buying second hand socks to me is just gross, so I get not wanting to buy brand socks. offbrand taobao socks and light tights can look just as good.

>>9901256
poison cherry, or something like that

>>9901256
Poison Cherry

>>9900949
Are you me anon??

>>9901063
ugh, she is pretty annoying too.

>>9901063
maybe people would like your channel more if you weren't so stuck up irl

Lolita has questioned my gender.

>>9900933
Same! I have an old AP OP that's practically falling apart but i just can't part with it because I restored it to that point from even a worse state. I think it's very fun to mend old lolita pieces.

>>9901302
K I'm not milkbox and I didn't know she was stuck up, I just watch her youtube vids out of boredom

>>9900789
I know what you're saying and I agree, but at least Baby has the excuse that the Kumyas are their mascot.

I have 4 dresses that I almost never wear and haven’t sold because I know I wouldn’t be able to find them secondhand if I regret selling them. They’re all dream dresses of girls in my comm. It feels kind of shitty, but I also don’t want to be made to feel like I have to sell them. I hope I’ll fall back in love with them at some point.

>>9900899
I want to make a lolita YouTube channel, but I'm afraid to do it because I don't know if I want all the negative attention that comes with it. I don't consider myself an efame chan, and I'm not sure if I want to be. I'd like to make a more resource-based channel. Hair/makeup tutorials, coordinate tutorials, maybe some quick videos about repairing damaged brand. I'd maybe throw in a few burando anti-hauls, unboxing, and reviews (actual in-depth reviews, not just squealing about the print). Not sure how I'd feel about vlogs. I certainly wouldn't do it at meets because I don't want to film people without their consent.
I'm rambling, but I'd like to think I have some decent ideas. However, there's no way to win when it comes to creating content, and people will bitch about me whatever I do. It sucks, because I think I'd like to try creating videos, but I'd also like to be able to post here without people guessing who I am every time I say something that isn't generic lolita chatter.

>>9900744
Such a nice sweet feel, anon! I can relate it too :3

>>9901293
Thank you!

>>9900960
I have been doing the same thing. I have one blouse, and one pair of brand socks.

>>9900991
Demonia, pleaser, antaina.

>>9901334
If you're friends with any of the girls, maybe you could loan the dress to them? I bet seeing someone else coord it beautifully could be just what you need to fall in love with it. And either way, you get to make someone really happy.

I recently made a twitch and kind of wanna stream games in frills, but would anyone except horny neckbeards watch?

>>9901430
didnt that brolita jenny try to do something like that

>>9901431
no wait I think it was brolita emily

OT but why do brolitas always call themselves fruity girl names

>>9901432
The ones that do this are most likely sissies or autogynophiles, and they're into the fashion or the idea of it for fetish. Not all of them even wear the fashion, Brolita Jenny never did, he just wore his mother's clothes and jerked off to lolitas he saw online.

>>9901431
>>9901432
>>9901433
Well I'm a female with a mannish face, so I might be accused of being the same. ;_;

I feel like I need to loose weight to look good in lolita. I’m already 101 lbs but the fact that my weight is in the triple digits bothers me. I just don’t feel like I’m small enough.

>>9901040
just get the fluevogs with the same heel that demonia ripped off

>>9901341
If you just want to make videos but don't want efame just do Facebook live videos with your friends

With the acquisition of a white floral, I've weaponized my fragrance collection.

>>9900777
Shut up K

>>9901437
Is this bait or are you just really short?
Don't be an ana-chan, it looks as bad as fatties.

>>9901437
Not triple digits of you use the superior international system (you would be 45.8kg!).
Now,seriously,if you are over 155~cm/5'1",that's an unhealthy weight. Underweight is unhealthy too,just as overweight. Please anon, seek help if you need it and try to love yourself because you're probably just fine.

The very first dress I ever bought doesn't fit me. It's ETC and I bought it in person, without knowing about ETCs small chdest measurements (it zips up but gives me a bad boobloaf).

I want to sell it since it doesn't fit and I never wear it, but at the same time I don't know if I should hang on to it just for the memory of it being my first piece.

>>9901193
Everything you mentioned fits in with a designer who romanticised Europe and luxury items and possibly has a goth side

>>9901334
I could never do this. I sold 3 former dream dresses, one of them I regret selling now. But I got so much pleasure from sending someone their dream dress, and seeing people actually wear it.

>>9900730
I can't afford more brand coz I'm addicted to drugs and alcohol

>>9901519
Wanna get high?

>>9901521
fuck yeah senpai

>>9900845
>as if people never move in their life
I found my best friend in an area I moved to through my local comm.

>>9901063
How can you stand her? I couldn't take her in my feed anymore with the unrelated garbage videos.

>>9900924
>>9901230
gdi this is such a big feel for me too. I've been into lolita for 6 years, which is a relatively short amount of time, but I cannot wear it alone anymore. And I hate that. Every single time I do, no matter what I am wearing, people will come up and talk to me about it. I've learned ways to cope with talking to strangers since I do it at work, but when I am on my own time it is really hard for me to mentally be comfortable with someone at any given time coming up to me and asking questions. (Often they are good, but sometimes the attention is bad.) I do have a lot of social anxiety and you'd think after so much exposure it would get better, but I almost feel like it just gets worse.

It's really depressing how it's so normal to interrupt or harass people about what they are wearing. In certain areas, mostly the city, people will yell at me across the street or ask inappropriate questions. I've had more pleasant interactions than bad ones, but overall I am just so tired of people... bothering me? I'm not in the mood to have a ton of conversations about my clothes, even though I do always be polite. And while it's coming from a good place, having someone shout at me "I like your outfit!" out of the blue gets really stressful.

I realize I probably sound spoiled saying this, but it makes me almost feel like I am in a mine field?

I lived in Japan for a while too and staring or very considerate, gentle interactions were the only thing that ever happened. If anyone ever did approach me, they would be very shy and excited so the interaction was much less threatening and more comfortable.

Now I only wear lolita if I am going out with my friends or bf. What is really upsetting, that I noticed, is if I am out with a female friend, I still get bothered. If I am with my bf, no one bothers me. The difference in respect is so defeating.

And I never take public transportation with it anymore.

I hate that my confidence is gone.

>>9901334
If you like them but just don't wear them, that's ok. Some dresses can be reserved for special events or just be something pretty to look at while you are home. But if they aren't dresses you really like, I suggest selling them because then you can put the money towards something you will really enjoy!

>>9901561

>Grew up in Philly, people very nice and friendly, lots of pleasanties exchanged and people say "hi" as you walk past them
>Move to New England, start getting into lolita
>no one makes eye contact ever
>pleasantries only sometimes exchanged with store clerks
>striking up a conversation in public has happened to me maybe 5 times in 7 years

Move to this frozen hellhole anon. No one will ever bother you.

>>9901448
Fluevog Munsters 4 lyfe... Demonia has ripped off so many other shoe designers it is utter madness

>>9900899
If you're debating on doing this or not, please do. There's so many trashy gaming channels yet next to no good content for lolita, j-vloggers, kawaii channels and so on.

/cgl/ will whine about e-fame and post you all they want, but /cgl/ does not touch outside real life. (Your real name can get on places like lolcow so keep that in mind though) My biggest advice is just admit when you're wrong and keep your cool outwardly if drama does arise in some form. Those that want drama are like sharks in the water, so never even let them know drama is happening if possible.

>>9901060
It's delusion. You are a girl like all of us. Get help.

I’m embarrassed by most of my comm, both in how they dress and how they act in public. When I wear lolita by myself I hardly get stares or comments, at most a friendly compliment from an older lady. But when I’m out with my comm I feel like I’m part of a circus troupe. Most of them dress so badly regardless of substyle. They either wear really obvious costumey wigs or have greasy unstyled hair badly dyed some unnatural color. Their makeup looks like a child did it. So many of them are wearing clothes that blatantly don’t fit them, not just the fat girls. Occasionally I run into non-lolita acquaintances while out with my comm and each time they are clearly very weirded out and uncomfortable, making faces at me like “wtf are you doing with these people?” And to be honest, I ask myself that question too. They’re mostly nice very girls, but if it weren’t for our shared love of lolita bringing us together I would never hang out with any of them.

>>9900960
Basic as fuck coords

>>9901060
I relate anon, keep fighting the good fight.

>>9901639
Okay Karen I'll get right on that

>>9901060
you're saying you're a guy and can't bear being a woman any longer, but also you can't stop wearing, dressing, and acting like a woman.

so you want to be a woman but don't want anyone to say you're a woman. That's just a delusional tumblr demiboy anon

>>9901684
So just don't participate anymore. It's okay to be a lone lolita. I stopped hanging out with my comm a couple of years ago for the same reason. My normie friends love my clothes and they know how to behave in public, so we all just hang out together.

I'm very into dollification but not entirely in a sexual way. I want to look pristine and perfect like a BJD, and am considering reconstructive surgery or Botox when I have a more stable job. I don't connect lolita with dollification and sex, and I don't sexualize the fashion AT ALL, but feeling like a perfect Victorian porcelain doll brings me more joy than most other things. I feel really weird talking about it because I feel like it'll offend other lolitas, but I'm not using it as a kinky escape like the DD/lg'ers

>>9901840
reconstructive surgery will make you feel good for a while but feel even worse in 5-10 years when your face starts to melt from a lack of bone structure underneath

>>9901836
The problem is that my normie friends hate lolita, even if I tone it down to the point where it’s not even recognisable as lolita anymore. Of course I can just hang out in lolita by myself but that gets old after a while, so when I want to socialise in frills my local comm is my only option.
I wish I could make some local lolita friends but the only girls I really click with live several hours away.

>>9901840
Ngl I feel this too, minus the surgery and botox. I'd never openly admit to this though, for the exact reasons you cited. Thankfully no one needs to actually know this so I just keep it to myself... until I find someone else who's equally into it and wants to share it with me, I suppose.

>>9901847
dump their asses

>>9901847
I'm sorry but your friends sound like they suck.

>>9901845
See I probably wouldn't do surgery until I was older, and just enough to keep me looking younger and smoothed out. I want to invest in fillers moreso as a younger person

>>9901857
Maybe one day we'll get to exchange contact info and talk about it ~sigh

>>9901858
>>9901864
Sometimes I think that I deserve it because of how I feel about the girls in my comm, that my normie friends see me in the same way I see the girl who wears her AP dress unzipped and insists on educating every random passerby on our “kawayee jayfashun” and who’s to say I’m right and they’re wrong?

It sucks, though. Sometimes I fantasise about moving to a different area with a comm full of well dressed, more mature people.

>>9900939
u just mad they got a piece you'll never own

>>9900784
I had to re-read your comment because at first I thought you said 'because I'm really into anal'

>>9900869
Actually, I think I get what >>9900868 is saying. I kind of feel the same way; it's like enjoying the smell of an old book, or a used car. I used to think it was weird, but now my hypothesis is it might be an ingrained sociological response. Given that humans are social species, and that we have only evolved this far and survived this long by coming together and connecting with each other, it makes sense that people like the smell of other people--B.O. notwithstanding. On a biochemical level, it tells us that we are with members of our fellow species, which is something that has been rewarded by both evolution and personal interactions.

Idk though, just a hypothesis. Maybe >>9900868 and I and others like us are just a bunch of weirdos.

>>9900924
I totally feel this way. I'm not into lolita as much anymore, because I only look good in sweet. I wore gothic for a while, and I got far less attention, but it was still sad. I don't mind a passing compliment, but the constant "sneaky pictures" and people who berate me with questions are draining. People think that because of what you're wearing you should expect/deserve harassment.
I only go out in lolita with close friends. I try to dress in lolita inspired stuff, or certain brand items when alone, but often I still get attention. It's weird a bit not wanting attention in lolita, since it's so standoff-ish, but at the same time, i feel like i'm hiding in the frills, people are looking at my clothes, not me.

>>9901561
I need a 6'5 buff bf to protect me

>>9901949
Nah, I just think it's a pretty cruel ending for dresses that were meant to be worn and created with so much effort and love for detail.

>>9901425
That's a disaster waiting to happen.

>>9901973
you're definitely a weirdo. Seems to me like the lolita equivalent of creeps who buy used panties to sniff them

>>9902044
Except no one is buying secondhand just to sniff the dresses except maybe Milkyfawn's stalker. Reaching much?

When I first got into the fashion, for a good while I assumed Lolibrary was some kind of shady site.

>>9902223
>reaching much?
>"I love the smell of used brand and refuse to wash it so I can smell it"

>>9901840
Botox is great, and not very expensive at all anymore (especially if you can afford lolita). The earlier you start the better results you’ll have. Plastic surgery depends on the person, but anyone who’s even mildly considered trying to avoid wrinkles should be getting Botoxed. Make your appointment, anon. It’s been the best money I’ve ever spent in my life and has made me seriously cringe at how worthless the money spent on my degree was by comparison. Nothing in life feels better than beauty.

>>9901973
I'm with you too. I don't sit through sniffing my dresses but I like the whiff I get when I pull on a second hand garment. Even after I wash them, it takes awhile for those clothes to start smelling like me. Just makes me wonder about the places it got worn before.

>>9901872
>>9902229
Also: fillers are overrated, overpriced, and easy to fuck up. Avoid in most cases. See what a year of Botox can do for relaxing your skin back to the actual structure of your face before making any decisions about injections - most problems they solve are best solved with surgery anyway.

>>9902227
I actually was just >>9901973 and not >>9900868, so I do wash my used brand. I was just speculating as to why people may like the smell of other people in various ways. No one is buying your used clothes just to sit in their room in the dark and huff them. Don't be so full of yourself.

>>9901063
I can't watch her because she is so fake, and not a good person irl

>>9901973
>>9900868

Anons getting freaked out over strangers sniffing their BO and yet the weird thing for me is that girls send their secondhand dresses out unwashed. Like uh, the only thing you're actually smelling on any dresses I sent out isn't me, it's the last detergent I used, and the scent of the plastic it was sent in. I mean, I don't get how that's even a "nice" scent to you, but I guess sniffing artificial fragrance and plastic stuff will do weird things to people's brains.

Either that or other girls do send out unwashed dresses reeking of BO? I'm not even sure what's more wtf here.

>>9901684
100% on board with this experience. I wouldn't recommend completely cutting ties with them, but try to pick out the ones with potential and cultivate closer friendships. Eventually you can shift to private or semi-private events that are both fun and non-embarrassing.

>>9902271
it's the idea that people out there are sniffing your shit. It's gross and reminds me too much of creepers buying and sniffing panties

The fact that someone had to specifically mention it wasn't sexual makes me think it really is

>>9902282

Even panty sniffers need to specify used panties so they can actually smell your crotch scent on them though. Laundered panties probably smell like laundry, not you.

I thought the original post may have been bait but with the number of girls getting freaked out I wonder if they actually don't wash their dresses when sending it out? But if you're so willing to shove your BO onto some unsuspecting buyer why would it bother you if the buyer starts huffing your BO?

>>9902282
Obviously not OP but I smell my dresses when I buy them. It's not because I want to smell them to see if they smell good, but if they reek of smoke or BO I'm asking for a fucking refund. Sellers who don't disclose that they smoke or don't wash their clothes despite having bad BO are fucking disgusting. They count as undisclosed damage, especially smoke. Even if they can come out easily there are also stains that come out easily- all of them count as damage though.

>>9902233
Aaaaaa thank you anon<3

>>9902282
>The fact that someone had to specifically mention it wasn't sexual makes me think it really is
>lolita fashion
Ok anon.

I can't stand immaturity at meets. I'm here to look and feel elegant, why does it feel like I'm surrounded by children? Can't we all pretend for a few hours and act like adults and hold mature conversations without talking about overly personal details, hiking our petticoat up and generally dicking around...?

>>9902303
>I can't stand people having fun at meets
ftfy

>>9900960
My offbrand blouses really can't compare to my brand blouses at all. Same goes for socks. And accessories.

Shoes and purses I understand a bit more.

>>9901684
>>9902303

Honestly these are a large part of why I left my comm, especially the maturity thing. Being a lonelita isn't as bad as some people seem to think, though.

>>9902321
You can have fun without spouting memes, divulging intimate details about yourself, and running around like a toddler.

>>9902325
Agreed, and also just the stage of life thing. It's hard to have fun with just-out-of-high-schoolers and I'm-broke-as-fuck uni students who complain about the price of new taobao releases and $5 for boba when you really just want to be fancy as fuck and go somewhere nice for high tea. And also slap them because buying second-hand brand within the country is often a fuckload cheaper. I'd much rather hang out with my normie friends and just wear my frills at the ballet or out somewhere nice.

>>9900898
Underrated post

Every time people get into ugly arguments on certain threads, I worry that my lolita friends will think it's me. I'm not very secretive about the fact that I come here and where I post, but seeing some of the arguments people get into makes me wish I were. It's stupid and irrational, I know.

I unfriended someone because she wasn't taking my advice and was listening to someone who suggested getting lolita clothing from Milanoo. The whole situation was weird. To be fair, this unfriending was a long way coming. Her posts were super annoying and I had no clue how she even got on my friends list.

>>9901507

Could you get it altered bigger? Even if there's not enough fabric in the bodice you could swapping out the bodice for plain fabric in a matching colour. At least you'd be able to wear your first dress, which has to be a pretty cool feel.

My first dress is a different substyle, and although I still fit into it and have all the accessories to make it look good I haven't felt like wearing that substyle in two years. Not sure if I should just let go and sell it on at this stage.

>>9902553
Ugh, I know someone like that. After I gave this girl a lot of advice and pointed her at good resources, she bought an awfully made underbust dress off a taobao reseller, whacked an ugly work shirt underneath, and then posted it on her Facebook whining about how bad she looked and saying that clearly lolita wasn't for her. (Which was a fucking lie, she's beautiful and is literally the ideal size and shape for brand.) It was kinda passive aggressive and made me very uncomfortable. Haven't talked to her since then.

>>9900730
I get annoyed when my normie friends feel the need to tag me in every single Sailor Moon/Hello Kitty/vaguely pink or Japanese thing on Facebook. I appreciate that they thought of me, but it gets irritating.

>>9902553
Anon not defending her but not everyone wants criticism all the time. I've stopped talking to people because they can't just say "oh that's nice" when I share pictures with them. They always had a way to make a dig at whatever I did and turn it negative.

>>9901514
Meta's designers confirmed that they get some inspiration from fetish wear at a tea party I went to a few years back. So there's that.

>>9900730
I thought I was sufficiently skinny because I smugly fit into unshirred JetJ size 1/VM/MM, but having tried on new shorts for summer it looks like the four pounds I gained during winter did not just go to my face (good, don't want to look haggard) but mostly to my ass. Bad. Every single one of them looked like shit because I'm at least a size larger than I was last year. Gonna hit the gym and nuke carbs from orbit for a while.

>>9900736
I like the look of chiffon but am so paranoid of the snagging, also the really thin polyester prints. I don't wear baby or AP, but some JetJ has that problem too and I'm not shelling out any more money for flimsy polyester. It had better be a good weight so I can wear it without worrying.

>>9900868
I don't think that's strange, I've never bought anything that smells like BO or other unpleasantness, even from the people who warned me they had cats. Should knock on wood, but the clothes usually smelled of nothing, or of laundry softener. BO would really put me off and I'd wash it as soon as possible.

>>9902557
What resources did you link her to?

>>9900945
Little do they know that 99% of people are turfs. Trender Unfriendly Regular Folk.

>>9901060
You're a man inside but want to do performative femininity? Because that's what Lolita is. You can't have it both ways, get your mental issues straightened out, npi. Actual FtM's get dysphoria from having to wear feminine clothes.

>>9901435
Use it to your advantage. Contour your face so mannishly you're basically unrecognizable, create a "trap" personality for yourself, and cash in on the attention from neckbeards from pol and dudebros from fit.

>>9902553
>>9902557
There’s someone like this in my comm and she’s driving us nuts. Complains about how she can’t fit or afford brand because it’s supposedly $300 per dress and made for impossibly tiny people, then complains about how her COF posts get no attention because she’s not wearing brand (IMO it’s because her coording is bad and her makeup is terrible but hey), complains about how she doesn’t need brand to be a lolita when we link her affordable shirred pieces in her style from secondhand sites, complains about not being able to twin at a twin meet because nobody else in the comm has the same ninja doge pirate pizza axolotl Taobao prints as she does and she doesn’t have brand like us abloobloo, etc. No matter what, she’s complaining. The most annoying part is that she insists on buying from overpriced resellers and AliExpress and when people offer to hold her hand through the SS process, she slaps it away because she LIKES wasting money on resellers thankyouverymuch. Then she goes back to complaining that she doesn’t have money abloobloobloo why is everyone richer than her :(
I want to smack her sometimes. I’ve already muted her in my friends list but she constantly posts to the comm page just to complain.

>>9901582
And if there's drama, ignore it. The more you defend yourself, the more crazies will call you a pedo racist nazi who fucks animals. Unless someone stalks you offline, then you get the police and a lawyer involved. Don't be embarrassed about seeking legal help, police and lawyers see the literal dregs of society all the time and a Lolita YouTuber is going to be nothing outlandish to them.

>>9902295
Same here. It's more of a
>Is this freshly laundered or do I have to launder it immediately?
kind of thing.

>>9902321
>I can't have fun without acting like a baboon
Thanks for proving anon's point.

>>9902295
Ok but the first post literally said they would purposely not wash secondhand clothes so they could smell the last owner on it. That's messed up and not the same as sniff testing if it needs to be washed before a 1st wear

>>9902281
This. But you have to choose carefully or else you will have someone on your back for excluding them.

>>9900845
Only someone who got kicked out of their comm would say this. You must be a real pos.

My comm is dead and every one I try to offer a meet it just gets ignored. Am I doomed to be a lonlelita? How do I save my comm?

>>9902813
Find one normie friend who wouldn't mind dressing up, wear lolita together a few times and post tons of pics together so other local lolitas get FOMO, make a comm Facebook page, advertise it on larger groups or at bigger events, take tons of pics at events, and slowly your numbers will increase. This will only work if you dress well and take good pics though.

I don't have much going on in the boob department, but I wear push-up bras when I go to meetups. Breast envy sucks.

>>9902870
>I'm totally a girl you guise
Boobs are detrimental in lolita and jfash and nothing to be envious of, try again maybe.

I overcharge new Lolitas for shitty replicas and portly handmade dresses.

>>9902870
Who fucking wears a pushup in lolita?

>>9902877
Someone who's roleplaying as a girl, obviously.

>>9902874
Not entirely true. Being completely flat is a bad thing too because then the boob area looks deflated. Ideal is a small B cup.

>>9902875
>portly
I can't tell if this is a typo or on purpose but it made me chuckle

>>9902881
I'm a guy and I've only ever encountered sagging bodice issues with certain AP cuts. Everything else fits me fine.

>>9902883
It was a typo, but it still works since I was a fatty when I bought them.

>>9900899
Also, cheap setups. 1080 and good mic quality are kinda lacking.
Also, lighting. This is a visual hobby, we need to see shit in good light conditions. Not dirty/stained morning window sunshine

I want to buy replicas to go clubbing in but I don't want my comm to find out and judge me.

>>9901341
This is why I fucking miss blogs. You can be informative, share your passion and knowledge with the community but it will rarely get personal, since you don't have to show your face, talk, try to act kawaii, etc. All the good lolita content was always on blogs. Youtube is just full of tryhards.

I got banned from a comm.

>>9903068
What did you do?

>>9903085
I requested to join their group

>>9903103
Are you a sissy or ageplayer?

>>9903106
No, I just used to be an ita

>>9901561

That was what pushed me out of the fashion years ago. Going out became an exhausting mess because I found myself constantly thinking about when the next idiot was going to scream "OMG WHAT ARE YOOOOOU?!" at me. Locally, there's also a weird thing people do where they suddenly feel like they have the right to touch you if they've been staring at you, and nothing makes my blood run cold like trying to just go about my day and some middle-aged suburban mall-walker grabbing a handful of my skirt 'so she doesn't put the ojo on me.'

>>9903112
Why would they ban you because of that?

>>9903149
I know. Guess their vendetta is too strong. Tbh I don’t really want to be part their comm if they’re going to stoop that low into pettyness. I have an incline they still think I’m like I used to be. Which is probably why they did it. It’s a shame really.

>>9902913
Buy Bodyline. I mosh in mine

>>9903164
Yaaas another metal head Lolita I have a dream of going to the most hardcore show I can go to wearing the most ott sugary carnival sweet Lolita coord possible.

>>9903156
Don't know, I'm not buying it. Plenty of comms have itas that continue to be ita for years and they don't get banned just because they dress like shit. You must have done something to warrant it.

>>9903172
I don’t mean an ita dress wise, I mean an online retard ita.

>>9902611
No I'm non binary and I grew up feeling more masculine. Part of my dysphoria is feeling weird about looking manish when it's how I feel. It's why I like lolita, it makes me feel calm about my outward appearance. I'm not a man I'm not a girl, I just don't want people to shit down My throat when I say I'm trans. I have mtf friends, I have ftm friends, I have friends in between the binary spectrum. None of them are "hurr de durrr I'm a fat trans-intersex pile of grass who wants to wear lolita and never get crit on it!!! Uwu" we just wanna live our lives and one of the things that I love is lolita. Regular men can wear it, and as long as they pass it's okay. I won't be open with my transness for attention, just for validation from people like me, who go through the same "uhm yr not trans if you're not dysphoric or passing sweetie" bs. Y do y'all actually care, unless you're truscum

>>9903173
Ita has a specific definition, being an idiot doesn't necessarily make you ita, and being an idiot doesn't necessarily warrant a ban, either. So what did you do?

>>9903193
I annoyed the online community but that’s about it. Other than that I have no idea what I did.

>>9903185
>I'm non binary
Lmao

>>9903198
I’m trying to keep my answers as vague as possible so I don’t accidentally out myself.

whenever somebody trashes sweet i assume they're just too ugly to wear it

>>9903219
Most people who wear sweet are too ugly to wear it.

>>9903185
If you don't identify with any gender, how come you feel comfortable in something so hyper-feminine like lolita? It still projects a specific gendered image to everyone who sees you, no matter how much people like to say that "clothes have no gender". Asking because I seriously don't understand that.
Also,
>truscum
Sorry but it's getting tiring to see girls who play up the
>teehee I'm totally a boy in a dress, he/him pls
act because they hate themselves so much that they can't relate to their own gender, while they fully present as their own gender and make no effort to be seen as anything other than girls. People like this are just latching onto something that'll make them feel more special and unique, even if it harms others, i.e. actual trans people. If calling them out on their shit makes me truscum then so be it.

>>9903206
Gull. You need to message your mods.

>>9901392
>https://lolibrary.org/items/meta-solid-color-skirt-with-pants

>>9903251
The trouble is that I tried to message them but they won’t respond

>>9903244
Truscum are trans people who think you can't be trans unless you experienced dysphoria and you've had "The Surgery".

And to answer your question; im not a boy tho, I don't identify as a man at all. I just sometimes feel masculine and have masculine behaviors and I just also happen to enjoy my Frills. I also dress goth, boyish, etc. so lolita isn't my only outlet for gender expression. Just when I'm feeling or needing to feel effeminate. I agree it can be super annoying to see stuff like young kids saying they're boys but never showing outward appearance of masculinity, because a lot of girls are actually faking being trans for attention (see women who post on everything "pronouns r she/them teehee" when obviously they're cisgender women) it's more annoying than anything just knowing that I won't be taken seriously because of assholes like that

>>9903185
Unless you're one of the .001% of people who are actually genetically intersex, you should stop saying that.
It's like saying you're trans when you just want to feel special, you hurt the image of that group for your own gain

>>9901840
same anon

For the past year I've been focising on other purchases, finally sold a dress and now I have money to burn.
I stressed over the last week combing sales and trying convince myself one way or another, all the things I bookmarked from a while back have already sold, so many missed opportunities.
My bf needs help getting our car fixed and I literally jumped at the chance to throw money at him to fix it.
Honestly felt like a 2plb weight was lifted not feeling like I HAD to biy something.
>before you say 'why not save' that's not in the cards right now, it would go to bills before I'd even notice it was gone.

>>9903259
Youre not transgender if you don't have dysphoria.
It's not a joke, people with dysphoria are at their limit and kill themselves because they can't look at themselves in the mirror. Transitioning is the only thing that can treat them so far.
Latching onto something like that when you don't experience it yourself if like saying you have cancer every time you find a mole on your skiing just to get attention.

>>9902286
the fact that so many lolitas are so scared to wash their dresses makes me think not many of them actually do wash them before sending them on. I've been lucky with the few girls I have purchased from, but there was one girl on LM who sent me something wadded up in a box with pet hair all over it... and it didn't smell very clean

>>9903269
:// okay Susan I never said I didn't experience dysphoria. I obvsiously experience a lot of it to start wearing lolita and girlie stuff to make myself feel more effeminate. Most trans people I know outgrow their dysphoria as they become more comfortable with their bodies, I'm just curious how they just magically stop being that when they learn to accept their bodies

>>9900936
5’5

>>9903265
No offense, but this is why poor people stay poor.

>>9902877
sissies. I wish they'd die already.

>>9903269
>It's not a joke, people with dysphoria are at their limit and kill themselves because they can't look at themselves in the mirror.

Incorrect. Dysphoria can be this extreme, but it doesn't have to be to be recognized. I also hate the ~soft bby demiboi uwu~ trend that's become popular, but it's ultimately up to the person and their mental healthcare provider; if it's just a phase, it'll pass anyways, and if it's serious, they'll find whichever treatment works for them.

>>9903172
Agree with this, because a lot of people are painfully unaware that they're being inappropriate in social situations. I have a friend who's normally either constantly rude to wait staff, or overshares TMI with them, which is bad enough, and when good-looking men in shops are nice to her (it's a fucking service job, they want to sell us shit, no shit they're going to be nice), she will convince herself they're in love with her and are hitting on her, will go back to the store without buying anything over and over again, wondering why they refuse to go on a date (!) in spite of "obviously" being attracted to her. It always ends with her getting banned from the store for stalking the staff, and she never figures out the problem is her. Tells me she doesn't know what she did wrong. I've tried to explain to her what erotomania is and that men who see her as a paying customer are trying to sell her shit, not woo her, but she doesn't get it. Can't take her anywhere and I would not recommend inviting her to a com.

>>9903185
The definition of trans is transitioning from one gender to another, and there's only two to pick from. You're not trans, you're tumblr scum, and I'll respect your speshul pronouns on a cold day in hell.

t. proud truscum.

I think the ladies in my comm may be annoyed with me. I dress well and I'm younger than most of them so maybe they're jealous, but I try to organizes meets and talk about interesting topics and give my opinions on the conversation. However I still feel like they don't like me. One of them is nice to me but I feel like she looks down on me because I'm young. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

>>9903219
Almost. I'm too old to wear it.

>>9903259
Just stop, you're embarrassing yourself.

>>9903259
>Just when I'm feeling or needing to feel effeminate.

You're a fucking girl. Effeminate means feminized male. You're not a boy, you don't have balls, you can't be effeminate, you snowflake cuntwaffle. It's because of you that these days trans people are all seen as batshit insane.

>because a lot of girls are actually faking being trans for attention

Gee, I wonder who! You are cis, get over it.

>>9903284
>effeminate.

>>9903341
>I dress well and I'm younger than most of them so maybe they're jealous

Unless they're all huge fatties who dress in handmade stuff made from eighties vintage bed sheets, that's not likely. Ask the nice one what you could change about your behavior.

>>9903340
And you can literally pry lolita out of my colddead tranny hands truscum shit

I regularly shitpost about certain lolitas and they still haven't figured it out. I'm still on their FB friend's list and haven't been blocked yet.

>>9903341
I haven't even met you and your ego is annoying me.

>>9903346

By replying like this, you're contributing directly to the problem. You're fulfilling the oppression fantasy.

The easiest way to be rid of transtrenders is act like it's no big deal; the taboo aspect is removed and they'll move on to pretending to be something else like every other teen.

>>9903357
Who? What comm? Share the salt

>>9903364

There was recent drama but I'm afraid I can't share anymore than that. If you were lurking in threads, you'd know at least some of it.

I would identify as heteromantic asexual I guess? all these terms are still blurry to me.. I just know I get attracted to men but I never want to have sex with them
because of that and seeing all the lolita couples, I just started thinking that it would be way better for me to have a lolita gf
it seems there could be way more benefits than dating your average guy, and I'm going to be forcing myself to have sexual contact either way so..

>>9900868
I totally feel you anon. I like the smell of other people's laundry detergent. For my own, I've gone completely nose blind so when I'm over at a friend's house and borrow something, the scent is nice and reminds me of that friend. So for this reason, I don't mind when I receive a secondhand piece if it's a clean smell.

>>9901437
Have you worn the fashion yet? Maybe try doing that first before letting these ideas of the fashion ferment in your head for too long.

>>9903219
Someone tell my comm, since all the fugly girls are into sweet and the pretty ones are into classic.

>>9903372
..
Anon, if you can't handle a hetero relationship, then switching the gender of your partner isn't going to help.
You must be under a false impression thatwomen are easier to have a relarionship with/less physically needy and you are hilariously wrong on both points.

>>9900742
As a fatty who loves food prints, I laughed at this. Can't help it that I think strawberries are cute :)

>>9903387
no thats not my impression.
I am lonely and want to be in a relationship, but it seems like with a woman there would just be more pros than cons (esp another lolita)
just simple things like having a hobby in common, maybe keeping a tidier home, liking more similar things.
but sexually I know I suffer either way.

>>9903389
Shut up fatty

>>9903185
>Y do y'all actually care, unless you're truscum
>continues answering every question
>I won't be open with my transness for attention,
>continues being open about your transness for attention

also if you're not dysphoric, you're not trans, and you'll never understand what its like to suffer from being trans, to not understand yourself, to actually struggle. people like you are disgusting.

>>9903259
>it's more annoying than anything just knowing that I won't be taken seriously because of assholes like that

no one is this stupid or hypocritical, this has to be bait

>>9903394
I actually am the same, I think i'm asexual but i'm bisexual.
if you know you're hetero, youre not gonna last with a woman because you're always going to long for a man or want to be with a man. you can also find other asexual heteroromantic people, it's hard though. Just wait, be patient.

>>9900742
I don't understand why anyone would be nice to fatties if they secretly hate them. Why would you want their attention if you think so lowly of them? At least betas give you money, fatties do nothing

>>9903394
>hobby in common
>implying there are no men on here

>tidier home
have you seen some of the girls who post on here?

>liking similar things
same as #1

you're delusional if you think women are some perfect little flowers that are going to be less needy and cleaner than big bad men.

>>9903432
How disgusting is your home, anon? What the fuck? I understand getting mad for the thought that women aren't as needy, but most girls I know are pretty clean, myself included.

>>9903436
I'm a guy who keeps my house very clean, but I've seen a lot of lolitas on here with trash thrown around their rooms

>>9903436
Hm. I'm a girl and I'm clean but messy. Maybe I should transition.

>>9903398
Ssh, it'll be okay

>>9903394

It's weird that you're using generalisations and stereotypes to reason why you'd be better off with a woman. How old are you? You'll find that while people do tend to follow stereotypes (that's why they're there in the first place) there will always be someone to subvert this stereotype. I've seen anons blog about their asexual boyfriend or husband and having a good relationship due to that. I'm sure you can find your man soon if you're heterosexual.

>>9902597
Maybe I should have expanded on the situation. The one I unfriended asked me randomly if I was selling any dresses one day. I wasn't and told her so. She then posts that she "wanted to get back into lolita" which I never knew she was into before as she had no sign of ever wearing it. Her friend then suggests Milanoo right away. I tell the friend that Milanoo wasn't the best choice as they are well known for having poor quality. I then suggest Bodyline and Taobao if they were concerned about cost. The friend said they never had a bad order (I never saw the quality so I can't judge), which I said she might have gotten lucky. The friend also adds that lolita is expensive and shouldn't have to be. I told them it wasn't a cheap hobby and went back to Bodyline and Taobao as a cheaper alternative. I think I might have added second hand. The one I unfriended took the other person's side and I knew this was probably a lost cause.

>>9903341
Maybe your just not that interesting, Anon

>>9903372
Most people don't look at a random person and have the need to copulate with them Anon. Don't look into the labels too much and just let your person devolp and mature naturally.

>>9903386
wearing a different substyle =/= trashing sweet

My SO is ok with me wearing lolita, but only to events/out with my friends/when I'm alone, I'm not allowed to wear it with him because its "embarrassing". I wore it on a dinner date last week anyways hoping he would get over it, but instead he loudly complained about my "weird outfit" in the restaurant and then gave me the silent treatment the rest of our meal. His behavior was way more embarrassing than my outfit desu. I've been in this fashion for nearly a decade and never felt self conscious about it or cried because of someone's reaction until now. It's really making me lose my confidence.

>>9903465
>trashing your interests
>belittling you in public

I usually don't say 'dump him,' but it's only going to escalate if you don't get a handle on it soon.

>>9903465

Wtf.

Have you had an open discussion with him about it? I know it's hard, because I've had that discussion with my boyfriend before. But I think it's good to get your feelings out there. My boyfriend isn't nearly as bad and he's even gotten me several pieces I've wanted, but it can be frustrating sometimes when your bf is used to a different aesthetic. Your bf seems just plain rude about it though.

And if the open conversation doesn't work, it's honestly a little worrying that your man throws tantrums over this. I don't usually say this, but maybe consider dumping him if he's going to throw a tantrum over a much loved aspect over your life.

>>9903465
why did you wear it on a date with him if you knew he didn't like it?
were you trying to start a fight over it on purpose or do you really think a boyfriend has to like everything you like all the time?

>>9903465
if you want to wear lolita, your SO shouldn't be a factor nor should he belittle you for it. dump him.

>>9903479

Disliking is one thing, being a spoiled prick over it is something else. He doesn't have to like it, but you sure as shit better believe that he shouldn't have threw a fit like a baby over it.

>>9903465
Dump he ass.

>>9903495
idk even in her story, which is bound to be more biased towards her, he lets her wear it but just doesn't like it when it's just the two of them. Knowing this, she decided to test him by wearing it anyways when she knows it's not something he likes and caused a fight.

he's not squeaky clean, but it sounds like she was itching for a fight and got it.

>>9903367

>>9903479
Um maybe because he told me "wear whatever you like?" and said nothing until we had already left the house? And he does like it, he just worries too much about what other people think hence the embarrassment and the bitch fit. I thought maybe the experience would help him grow a thicker skin. Guess not. I won't be doing it again.
>>9903466
>>9903481
>>9903469
Thanks anons for being supportive, I really needed to vent. I just get such mixed messages all the time, he says its cute and he loves it BUT I can't wear it with him BUT he also literally buys me dresses so idk wtf his problem is. He's a man baby but for better or worse he's my man baby and since we have a child together I'm not leaving him over this.

>>9903502

Wow, the plot thickens.

>>9903502
>he says it's cute
he's complimenting something you like
>he buys me it
he's buying you something you like
>idk what his problem is
it sounds like he doesn't like being around people wearing lolita. You know you don't have to wear it all the time right? you can wear it out with your friends and then wear more mainstream clothes when you're with him. People do that all the time where they have a separate hobby away from their spouse.

>>9903465
He's a cunt. Dtmf.

>>9903502
Hot take::: You should be able to wear whatever the fuck you want to wear if it makes you happy. He can have his opinion but if you wanna wear lolita out in public with him that's not his choice to make

>>9903510
I don't wear it when we go out together except this one time. He usually tells me before we go out "not to wear anything kawaii" (lololol his words) This time I told him I wanted to wear my new dress and he said that was fine, watched me get dressed, continued to say nothing negative, and then proceeded to throw a tantrum anyways AFTER we left the house. If he had told me no, that would have been totally fine, but he didn't, and therefore had no right to freak out on me. That's the main issue here.

>>9903535
your boyfriend is horribly abusive

>>9903535
Dump him. My boyfriend may not like it, but at least he pretends it's all good and shield me from weirdos when we're out.

I hate having to wear a wig. My hair is ugly and a terrible color to wear with lolita (it’s dyed), but wigs give me such killer headaches, both literally (by styling them) and physically. I want to go back to a natural color but I’ve had dyed hair for so long I just end up having (mediocre) classic coordinates with shit hair.

>>9903535
it sounds like you knew he didn't like it but you did it anyway to try to start a fight. It's a good thing you came to cgl for them to hugbox you and tell you that everything is wrong with him and that he's a terrible person from a one sided story.

>>9903582 guess what fucktard, policing what your s/o wears when it does no harm to her and in fact makes her feel happy and confident is fucked up no matter how you look at it! bye!

>>9903582
Whatever dude, there's always gotta be that one person who just has to be disagreeable. Enjoy your false sense of superiority

>>9903583
>policing what your s/o wears
sounds like to me she knew he didn't like it, she wore it anyway knowing that he didn't like it, and got the fight she was looking for.
>>9903584
glad I get to be superior for not being overly dramatic and spamming "dump him" like an idiot. Thank you for that anon

>>9903587
hello it's still fuckingpolicingwhatshewears to expect her to not wear something he doesn't like! it is very clear you have never been in a relationship, or a healthy one at all, you fucking moron

>>9903596
I have been in a healthy relationship before and it didn't involve purposely pissing off someone else so I can bitch about them online
People have their own hobbies away from their spouse, and they don't have to, and shouldn't mix.
I like anime, my girlfriend hates it, but I still watch anime away from her, I just don't do it around her because I know she doesn't like it. It's the same as her knowing I don't like the shows she watches on netflix, and she doesn't watch them around me. It's give and take, you can't just expect someone to like 100% of what you like, and pressure them until you start a fight just because.

>>9903582

You sound like a dude that got dumped for being a controlling prick.

>>9903610
If your girlfriend actually exists (I have my doubts) I bet she's bitching about you behind your back while she watches her shows all sad and lonely by herself because you sound like an asshole

>>9903610

If you are in a relationship, it sounds pretty sad. Even my bf will try to enjoy animu with me. He always asks for video games we can enjoy together even if he isn't a gamer. Similarly we watch a lot of movies together, even if it's another one of those business oriented high life sort of movie that I'm only vaguely interested in, because I enjoy it in the end. It's a two way street, and even if you were to argue 'but we need alone time' it's always good to take an interest in your partner's interest at least once in a while.

>>9903441
Lool
>meme is not an angery

I think I'm finally done with my comm.
There is nothing in particular wrong, but I feel I no longer have much in common with them.
I feel like the same topics get rehashed over and over, or maybe I'm just not interested in them any more.

>>9903581
What color is it dyed, and how is it ugly?

>>9903621
>>9903624
Do you people seriously think couples have to do everything together? Lol maybe that's your problem. Everyone needs space away from their spouse and to themselves. Trying to do everything together at all times and say you have to enjoy all the same things is not only boring, but just asking for some little annoyance to turn into some giant fight and split you apart. Every healthy relationship I've seen, including my parents who have been married for damn near 40 years has had both people develop hobbies that they enjoy themselves and don't need to share all the time with the other person.

>>9903645
ok you are literally fucking retarded. of course it's okay and healthy for couples to have different fucking interests. it's. not. okay. to. police. what. your. s/o. wears. holy shit. how is it that hard for you to understand. can you hear me? or is your dick too far in your ears ? fuck off no one wants you on this thread you fucking moron HOLY shit

>>9903645
Maybe different people need different things from a relationship...maybe just maybe not everyone is just like you!! My parents almost got divorced after 25 years because my dad wanted someone who he could actually enjoy his hobbies with. He sails and my mom is terrified of water. She tried harder to participate and sails now even if it makes her nervous. They're still together. Stop being so judgemental of other people especially when you know literally no details about OPs relationship besides one story.

>>9903658
I'll take the bait
I'm with angr anon on this one.

>>9903645
I have things I'm into land my boyfriend has things he's into. We're never going to be massively interested in everything the other likes, but I'm not going to get pissed off at him for doing things he loves unless it's something self destructive like smoking or drugs (which neither of us do)- I'm going to support him.

>>9903426
Likes + followers

>>9903660
>s/o throws a tantrum because anon does the thing they literally asked if she could do before they go out
>not a disfunctional relationship

Not even god can save you from your stupidity.

>>9903645
>Trying to do everything together at all times and say you have to enjoy all the same things is not only boring
she's the only one wearing lolita though. he doesn't have to wear it with her lmaoooo
he doesn't have to enjoy it, he doesn't have to tell her how beautiful she is and throw his jacket onto puddles so she can walk. he just has to not be a whiny bitch and throw ragefits in public

>>9903664
ngl it's kind of sad how obsessed some people are with followers

>>9903582
It's one thing if she dressed like an adult baby out in shitty ita ott but they were going out to dinner and obviously she's not fucking stupid enough to go out like that. If her husband expects her to act normal because he's too scared of what normies think then she obviously needs to be with someone who respects her fashion choices around him. It's not a hobby like her bringing her bjd around or weird kink clothing like ddlg so it shouldn't matter.

>>9903645
OP here, should I tell the story about the time s.o. and I got into a huge fight because I cut my bangs half an inch shorter than usual and he told me I looked "disgusting to him" and "I should try harder to look attractive to my man"? Or does that still not count as policing to this douchebag?

>>9903671
Dump him seriously dude. It's not healthy of someone to police your looks especially if you are happy with how you look. Don't let some incel tell you how to take care of yourself and your relationship. It sounds like you can do better desu

>>9903671
Why are you with them?
You aren't married... are you?

>>9903502
Moral of the story kids, don't get knocked up with a fool.

>>9903582
I doubt you're a lolita

>>9903679
>>9903502
>since we have a child together

OP didn't make the best decisions. But really I think the child would be better off not living in such an environment because now it's only going to learn how relationships work by their poor example.

>>9903691
I dunno, I am pretty good at relationships from looking at what my parents did that didn't work.
But that's probably unusual

>>9903679
Financial stability? The fact that he has a good relationship with our kid? My dad's father wasn't around and he's still bitter. I'm not about to subject another generation to that shit. Also other than the glaringly obviously control issues we do have fun together and he's a good looking guy. Who buys me dresses. Some ladies have it a lot worse than me.

I really am happy that you have all been so supportive tho fr. Thanks anons. I know I've got some serious shit to deal with sooner or later. I'm out of this thread because I didn't really expect my sad confession to blow up like this and I'm tired of talking about it.

This is kinda dumb, but I am a lonelita who has been interested in the fashion since 2004, but was too fat and poor to get into it. Anyway, I started actually buying and wearing brand about 2 years ago since I finally lost weight and could fit!!! and I just made my first brand new brand purchase for something other than socks on sunday and I am so excited. granted, it's just some bloomers, but 100 bucks and one of my favorite accessories and I'm super happy. but since I don't know anyone irl who cares, I had to express my excitement here!

>>9903778
this is pure. im happy for you, anon

>>9903814
Thanks anon, it feels really great to help support a brand I love and get something completely new. I have had great luck with 2nd hand brand (and I really love older lolita pieces since it was the style I loved when I first discovered lolita), but buying new for once just feels really great. Socks are fun too, but I don't know. this just feels really special to me.

I wear my bloomers as pyjamas

>>9900907
Did he ask to finish?

>>9903394
asexual men exist too, anon
and even if you find a guy who isn't ace, which is more likely, there's more to a relationship than just sex, and if he cares about the whole relationship he won't push you to have sex if you don't want to

Thread is saging
someone make a new one, I don’t have the time or the resources to do it myself

>>9903883
Me too, but only simple ones. I just love bloomers so much.

>>9903173
hi bmt

>>9903465
my ex did this, it was horrible and it only got worse. find someone who loves ALL of you, or youre better off single.

>>9903628
It’s this weird greenish blue color (and the color fades unevenly and looks like swamp barf). I just can’t decide if I want to go back to my natural brown or suck it up and wear wigs and deal with the headaches.

>>9900942
What if the guy dresses like a guy supposedly would except for when he's wearing lolita?

>>9905688
crossdressing