/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9858110
This is funny because it sounds similar to my comm. The mods never show up to anything and they don't post any pictures in lolita. My comm is quite sad overall though. There's at least 100 people in the page but maybe 8 at the most regularly do anything. Is this normal or am I doomed to basically be a lonelita?

me: has not planned a meet in three months
comm: has not had a meet in three months

does anyone else's comm rely solely on one person to host meets like mine does?

>>9858133
Yep, I’m OP. Our mods don’t actually plan or host meets, it’s usually one girl who isn’t a mod who creates events. Then for some reason everyone has the fucking audacity to complain there isn’t enough going on when she doesn’t plan anything for awhile. And then the mods are just silent and pop up only when there’s drama and try to mediate like they have some sort of authority

My comm has finally grown to the point that it's too big to go to places without a reservation/up-front payment but nobody's willing to pay their part beforehand so a place can be reserved. The last time I tried to reserve a cute tea house only ONE girl sent me her part before the due date so I had to cancel the event. I'm so jealous of the comms that have $30+ slots or whatever and actually manage to sell out. Girls in my comm won't even fork over 15 bucks.

The comm still hasn’t recovered much ever since the shitty mods were posting drama. The so called ‘last remaining mod’ is basically a front for those other mods behind the scenes. You can clearly see it because they address the comm as ‘we’. I don’t give a crap about your so called ‘survey findings’ have fun ruling your desolate kingdom.

>>9858269
Sydney?

>>9858133
There was a similar vacuum when I got sick of planning meets for my comm. Now a variety of people plan lots of meets, I feel like we have an event every other week. But in the past it was me and then a couple different girls who planned con tea parties and that's it.

>>9858269
>>9858135
>>9858133

Inb4 mods come in to defend themselves because as mods all their job is to moderate, not be actually part of the community they moderate.

Which I mean works in education or work type settings but I feel like to understand the situation in most communities, they do have to be somewhat active in the community. Unless they're moderators in their job, which would be a heaven send but unfortunately not since most mods are just power trippers.

My comm's mods were MIA for so long that two new comms formed in its wake. The old comm has an active mod again and now we have 3 comms with like 70% overlap between them in terms of members. There aren't any issues yet, but this is a weird situation and I have no idea what it'll turn into. Hold me, /cgl/, I'm scared of the impending logistical nightmares.

>>9858302
Seattle? The Emerald City one is made by a former mod who is REALLY salty that she didn't get readded as a mod and has a vendetta with the new one.

>>9858332
I don't get that feeling at all.
Specially since the new group has a billion mods.
It was weird timing and I can kind of see that as a dig at the old group.
But Idk the old group still does not encourage more participation. I like the new mod, I think she is great but it's like really only her running it. Seems like a lot of pressure will be placed on her.

I also like the new group so far. It has encouraged a lot more participation and discussion. Seems more friendlier for sure.

>>9858354
I heard it from a friend of a friend. She's definitely a former mod of the main comm. The North one is mostly intended to encourage meet-ups north of downtown and beyond.

>>9858236
Next time, just go with that one girl, post a shit ton of photos to the comm page and woefully element their loss. Mildly mention the lack of upfront support.

Currently dealing with the same shit and when I did this the next time there were more of us (just two extras but it's better then none). You just gotta keep at it. If somebody else hosts next time, pay quickly then mention in the comments with a 'hope to see the rest of you there.' Sometimes you just have to wave a meetup right in front of their faces.

My comma mods will host meets for themselves and their friends, but close them to regular Lolitas.

>>9858421
Comms*

It’s the same here, in my comm, there is only one girl who creates the meets. I have tried to make my own meet because I’m quite far away but unfortunately no one ever shows much interest. So I’m kind of stuck. I can’t complain because she’s far away but I also can’t complain that I’m far away and no one wants to come near here. I’ve ever tried to ask if anyone wants to meet half way, but no one shows much interests there either. It sucks being far away.

>>9858421
Here's the thing: Noone is required to hang out with people they don't know or care about. It's fine to have a meetup with your friends only. If you want a meetup, why not organize your own?

>>9858110 (OP)
My comm's fine. There are only about 3 people organizing stuff, including me and 2 friends, and sometimes I wish others would also put some effort in, but at least I'm not the only one organizing events and none of the passive members complain that there isn't enough going on.

My comm is full of ita poorfags that complain about never having money, but then they blow their money on other things? Like if you can't afford all your hobbies, maybe focus on certain ones?

>>9858133
I know that feel. I told myself I wouldn't plan anymore meets until someone else planned one, made sure the comm was aware that they could plan meets too (In case they thought only mods could plan meets).

Its been about three months.

Its pretty disappointing.

>>9858421
translation
>people in my area will have get-togethers with their friends but not with strangers they've never met
Just because they mod a community doesn't mean ever hangout they have needs to be a meetup. From the fact that you posted I'm guessing there's some extenuating factor (ex. they have a public group but no meets are ever hosted thru it, or some other nonsense) but as it is this post sounds rly entitled

Currently trying to drum up interest for an upcoming meet, seems to be just dead though.
General interest was great when I first posted about it.

Any ideas gulls?

I just don't want to over post on the comm page and have people get salty with me about it.

>>9859164
I just make the event page and convince a couple of personal friends in my comm to mark attending. That drums up interest more than just posting a status. Unless you've already done the event page.... In that case, be a little obnoxious and message individuals who were interested at first.

How do you boost ticket sales without screaming desperate?

Photo from our last meetup. I do not regret missing it.

>>9859287
Jesus Christ, anon. Yikes. I'm so sorry.

>>9859287

>>9859287
Awful, every single one...I'm impressed.

>>9859287
Poor dolls; they look so sad. Many of them lack creativity.

>>9859307
Part of me wants to say that the girl in teal has hope, but I know in my heart she's just as bad as the rest and I'm just horrified at being in this comm.

>>9859343
I think it's easier to make OPs look better because there's less to fuck up

>>9859344
And yet, girl in red.

>>9859164
Have your friends discuss the event on the event page. What they're wearing, what they're excited about, etc.

>>9859368
She's wearing a jsk though...

>>9858421
I'm not a mod, but I only go to to private meets that me or my friends host. My com has a ton of spergy itas and I don't really want to be associated with them in public.

I just read the FB post now announcing that my local comm's leader left. I may start going to meets again. She is an obese,"body-positive",attention seeker that sells her ugly nudes on patreon.

Who runs this page? I am so amused and honestly not surprised that NYC has secret cliques if this is the alternative.

Who runs this page? I am so amused and honestly not surprised that NYC has secret cliques if this is the alternative.

>>9860767
Yeah, I'd give it a pass if English is this person's second language but if this is a native speaker what a mess.

My comm's kinda dead. All the core members got older and are doing their own thing these days (either quit, became lone-litas, or do private meets). Newbies come and go but usually quit again after 1-2 meets. Which means less and less people as time progresses. Our comm page is completely abandoned by now. The last meet was over a year ago. I guess it's over.

In my comm, meets are only succesful if they're hosted by a mod or efamous/popular lolita. If someone else (like me) organises a meet, people will ignore it until one of the mods/popular lolitas decides to attend.

>>9860691
Who is it? Was she able to fit into burando?

I have a bunch of neat ideas, but I'm not an easily likabke person.
Like, two people find me "funny" because I'm blunt, they happen to live the furthest out from me, but the rest of the comm is sjws/mom van types. I'd love to do a shooting range meet out in the boonies, but like, out of the blue one of my comm blocks me because I'm "2A"
What the fuck man, I just want to do something fun rather than sit around eating junk food ok?

>>9860958
Don't you know anon, afternoon teas are the only acceptable lolita activity.

>>9860958
Did you post something in the Comm page that you're a gun supporter? It's not right if they only blocked you because you're a 2A supporter.

I really wished there was a lolita group who are gun owners/2A on Facebook. Call it 'Rifles and Frills'.

>>9860975
Ri-frills

>>9860975
I spoke in person about owning guns and pitched the meet idea, I don't know though, could have been the time I mentioned it on RC.

>>9860958
I think at that point you just gotta gather your own Lolita friends and hang with them instead. That sucks tho. I'm p liberal and very pro gun control but I also understand that not everyone is going to fall under my political agenda and that's ok. Live and let live.

>>9860975
desu I would be interested, even though I know people would think it's edgy and I'm sure the group would attract edgelords.

>>9860958
Really silly, typical liberals desu. I'm saying that as a leftist. I have a lot of feelings about gun rights and the second amendment, but I think there's a lot more worthy things to block someone over that don't entail simply being a gun hobbyist. People have really fucking ridiculous reactions to guns though. I remember on CoF, Hospitality Doll-chan posted a coord of her with her rifle and some tightass freaked out in the comments about how guns are disgusting and that it was disrespectful to post such a thing when a shooting had happened recently (I thiiiink it was around the time of the shooting in Paris).

Hateful, obese ita in my comm is leaving the fashion. I couldn’t be happier even if it is mean.

>>9858332
Damn, I’m moving to the area in the next year and was hoping there wasn’t a lot of drama in the communities. Are there any particulars someone should be weary of? Which comm is the better out of them all?

>>9861242
Check back in next year as this shit settles out. No way to predict. Washington-Seattle is the oldest and most established, but has been pretty dead lately.

My community has turned into a dictatorship, with people behind the scenes running the group, with these people as their front runner. It's not about the fashion any more, its about these people thinking they own the Lolita community, and its really discouraging.

>>9861278
Unless there's something you can do to change things, now's the time to jump ship. It's better to enjoy the fashion on your own and/or with your close friends than force yourself to interact with people you despise. Remember that communities aren't mandatory to have fun in lolita.

I'm very lucky with my comm. I don't see the point in being part of a community you don't have some friends in?

I am so sick of a lolita in our comm. She doesn't go to meetups because she wants to engage in the community, she only goes so she can get people to come to her own meetups, and she only hosts meetups because she needs the adulation of others to feed her fragile self esteem. She doesn't give a crap about our community she just wants to Matyr herself.

What's worse, she openly shits on other meetups to try and increase her standing. I don't care who you are, how many years in hospitality you have, or how much you want to be the "baking queen"; don't talk down our comms social event of the year because "you know what comes in frozen". And while you are at it, don't talk down literally every other restaurant meet that others organise/ are looking forward to because you think you can make better food.

Our comm isn't about YOU, other meetups aren't about YOU, other peoples lolita lifestyles aren't rungs in a ladder for to you measure to YOUR relative "greatness". Your cute house parties are great and generous, but your motivations are tasteless as fuck and you need help.

Gauche.

Ok thanks, I feel better now.

>>9860948
Botticelli tattoos and septum piercing, has appeared in Spanish tv. If you don't know her with all this info, just don't look her up or your retinas will burn.

>>9861221
Same

>>9860958
I tried to do that in my comm and no one was interested. I think lolitas are just more lefties because it's alt fashion. I am not even conservative, just libertarian. But it's hard to make actual friends when you don't really care about politics, the girls in my comm are really into lefty politics, rallies and stuff

>>9861259
Gotcha, thanks for the advice!
The communities in my area are very split and one has an excess of nonstop drama. I just really want to be in a community where everything is just chill so hopefully by the time I move it’ll be settled.

Is everyone fairly well dressed btw?

Does anybody have any information on any lolita comms in london/south uk? Seems pretty dead right now to me.

>>9861705
Sounds like my comm. Fractured over AM and other crap. Some gulls try to be diplomatic about the whole thing, but most of the comm has an us-versus-them attitude. If certain gulls plan a meet, certain others don't show.

how are the illinois comms? i just moved into the chicago area and im a little nervous.

>>9861739
There are real lolitas who still support AM?

>>9861794
Chicago lolita comm isnt that bad, if you click with the right people and avoid some of the other not so great people.

>>9861794
I've been in the Chicago area for several years and still go downstate for meets because that's where my lolita friends are. I don't really know any lolitas up here even though I know they exist.

>>9861809
It's complicated. Everyone in the comm has reasons for their feels. The sad thing is, everyone is actually really sweet, regardless of where they stand on AM. I agree that all of the Leigh drama has really damaged the comm.

>>9861818
>>9861794
The megameet held in the summer is a good way to meet everyone, since most of the Chicago lolitas go, but so do people from farther out. It's not going to be as big of an event this year apparently (no raffle I guess, more like a big potluck in a rented space) but hopefully still fun. Coords range in quality a lot; the more expensive city meets tend to have better dressed attendance than cheaper or "let's go to the mall" suburban meets. Most people are not annoying (the bad apples were mostly booted when the comm had a purge last year).

>>9861833
That's good to know because I really would like to make some closer lolita friends. It's just hard to figure out when they are doing events because I'm not a member of the FB group. I used to be but didn't attend the mandatory number of meets and got removed. But now I can't try to attend more even tho I want to because I can't see them lmao.

>>9861851
I think you can join the one called something like Chicago Convention Lolitas or something which is basically the containment for con itas, but they post the larger meets there.

>>9861851
Or actually maybe just apply to join again, if you have pictures on SM of yourself in lolita.

"3. New members can only join in one of two ways:

a) Message one of the admins with where you live in the Illinois area. Men must also provide a picture of themselves dressed in lolita or a complementary style.
b) One of the existing members can send an admin a message vouching for you."

>>9861856
Didn't know that. I tried to click join group and I think there were like 3 questions to answer to apply to join but my request never got approved. That's probably why.

>>9861856
Wow, your rules straight up say that regarding men? Lucky. Our comm pitched a fucking fit at the idea of screening people anything but exactly equally.

>>9861721
EGL London has at least one meet a month. There's an event on the 28th if you're interested.

>>9861721
There are two fb groups, one is out of date and dead. You should join the group >>9861897 suggested, that one is active.

>>9858269
Join the other new page, at least the members there are active and they are planning meets.

>>9861873
We have some active and legit male Lolitas. We also have had some problems with dudes who didn’t actually wear the fashion in the past. So it’s a sensible rule.

>>9861873
It wasn't always like that. Mods/admins at the time learned the hard way.

hows the nyc comm? the closest comm to me pretty much died, next closest one is nyc but I only heard bad things/drama about them in the past

What is the point of this? Are the mods supposed to drop everything and ban all red peppers for your dumb snowflake allergy? Looking at the menu only TWO out of FOUR entrees have red peppers in them. None of the snacks have red peppers.
I hate this comm.

anyone in great lakes lolita? I wanna go to a meet but very shy desu. is the majority raging sjws or pretty chill?

>>9861971
Ugh why aren't the mods more considerate of my paleo diet.
>>9861937
What is a male lolita? do they wear like aristocrat type stuff or something?

>>9861968
There hasn't been drama in ages. The current options in NYC seem to be public meets led by this person >>9860767 or paying $50 to reserve a tea room with lolitas in the inner circles. If you're in the Tri-state area, try the NJ and LI comms. They still seem to be active.

>>9861995
>What is a male lolita? do they wear like aristocrat type stuff or something?
Not necessarily (pic related)

>>9861937
>>9861941
Yeah mine certainly has too but apparently asking potential male members to prove an interest in the FASHION and not just >tfw no lolita gf or *crinkle* is oppressiiiiiiooooooonnnnnnn!

I suspect largely because of the fakebois who think they'd fall under such a rule. Honestly if it were up to me all new members would be required to either send a picture of themselves wearing lolita or be on a probationary membership until they can (as a compromise for newbies).

>>9862002
Novala you fuckin psycho, I love you.
>>9861995
I guess they could wear aristo or ouji but I just think of "male lolita" as a man wearing lolita... I guess brolita is out of favor as a term now but that's what it is, just a dude in a dress.

>>9861794
Don’t bother if you’re fat, they are hateful. Okay besides that I suppose

>>9861991
GLL is pretty chill.

>>9859287
I am also a lurker in that comm - I want to start going to meets but ugh.

>>9862008
I wish my comm would do this.

>>9861971
You know, anaphylaxis to capsaicin isn't a particularly rare allergy and I wouldn't want to step within a square foot of a kitchen with capsaicin if I had a legitimate allergy. That being said, she is being a bit of a snowflake about it. When will the self absorbed realise that no one cares if they can't go to something nor the reason why.

>>9862046
Don't do it. Rather be lonelita than in with that mess.

>>9862002
Having Novala in our comm would be fun but no, I meant a dude in a dress like >>9862012 mentioned. I tend to avoid the term "brolita" both because it's out of favor and because one of the problematic dudes in dresses that got booted from our comm for basically being aggressive and creepy liked to use it for himself.

Although we do have one aristocrat I forgot about.

>>9862015
This isn't true at all. We have some plus size lolitas who dress well. I'm on the fat end of things myself and I've never felt any hate about it.

>>9861971
This isn’t even that unreasonable if she has a serious allergy. In my comm people were whining about there not being enough vegan options at a chocolaterie high tea. The chocolaterie in question literally has the word COW in the name and they were told in advance that the high tea would not be vegan, but they came and complained anyway.

>>9861851 I'd try and talk to the mods and see if you can come back into the comm. Their really nice and accommodating.

>>9861991 I know there is a Michigan comm and then there is the Milwaukee/Madison Wisconsin Comms.

>>9862015 What kinda bull crap lie is this? I'm guessing your Heather lol. Salty still that you got booted?

>>9862351
We talk shit about you just not TO you

>>9861996
The Long Island comm definitely isn't active. I have to travel to NYC if I want to attend a meet that has more than 2 people.

>>9862514
Nice role play

>>9862323
It's red bell peppers not red pepper flakes. bell peppers don't produce capsaicin.
The event said the menu was tentative and to contact the mods for food allergies. She COULD have asked a mod, they are very understanding (this particular comm once had a comm allergy list, and there are gluten free and vegan options usually)
But instead she went and passive aggressively bitched about it on the event page so I'm not willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that being in proximity to bell peppers causes her allergies. Maybe it does but imo, it seems much more likely she is just a snowflake.

>>9861991
Definitely attend a meet anon. The regulars are friendly and vary in age and experience. I think you'll easily make friends if you attend often.

>>9860958
I would LOVE to go to a shooting range for a meet.

>>9862360
The ones that came didn't complain, but one that never even planed to go and even said so in her complaint.

>>9861991
I’ve wanted to attend a great lakes lolita meet for a while too, they have meets usually in areas very close to me but ima pussy

>>9862834
There was at least one girl at my table who kept complaining about only being able to drink the tea.

>>9862012
It would be nice if dudes in comms actually wore aristo instead of just random gross thrifted crap they try to make look like dandy with top hats

Nothing cute about the same smelly suit jacket over and over, you will never get a lolita gf. Wish comms could ban these but you would have to get a specific and the oblivious jerks probably still wouldn't realize they aren't wearing j-fash

What's the coolest meetup your local comm has ever had?

>>9862514
Nayrt, but I have always found it strange when people shit talk about fatness. To be honest I just imagine a bunch of teenagers standing in a circle grunting/ laughing at the word "penis" said on repeat.
>Hue hue hue
>FAT
>heh heh heh
Fatty owns a mirror, they know they are fat. Grow up for goodness sakes.

>>9860958
I know it sucks anon, but lolitas collectively aren't really interested in doing anything out of the norm even if it is marginally related. The amount of times I have pitched great and interesting meetup ideas... They will either be unresponsive or complain about cost/ effort. I will be forever bound to the cafe/ restaurant meetup.

>>9863014
These kids typically have their own self esteem issues, so they deflect by finding someone they might think is vulnerable about their weight and focus on that. But being fat has lost a lot of its stigma lately (good), so what's happening is what used to happen when gays were stigmatized and ridiculed: the assholes are being told to get fucked and go deal with their own issues.

>>9862951
Our one aristo wears brand. He looks like a legit vampire and not like a circus ringmaster or a halloween pirate.

>>9863256
OMG hilarious. Most of those guys totally look like that.

Are there any non facebook Comms in MN? I've heard about Rufflebutts but I can't seem to actually find it.

Is the San Francisco comm still active? I used to attend to meet ups fairly regularly (at least once a month) before I left for school. I’m coming back home in the summer and the Facebook page hasn’t been very active

>>9863360
Yeah, there's more meet-ups than ever. There's still a monthly meet and a lot of tea parties over the summer, plus a swap meet this week or next week? Check the events page.

>>9863372
I must be having some issues with the FB page as I only see 2 meetups, the monthly and the fanime event. I’ll keep checking when I move back.

>>9861968
I'm from Ct but am closer to NYC than any of the dead CT Comm. Pretty much there theres no real drama. The only bad thing is that if you don't know the right people, you won't get invited to meets. Since there are so many people in the area people only make meets with friends.Also some meets are pretty pricey. Besides the clicky nature of getting invited, I love the comm and met amazing people. The NJ comm is way more causal and more open to newcomers

>>9863372
>>9863382
>>9863360
Hey grils how does your comm feel about out-of-towners from other comms dropping in, particularly for convention events? I'm in OC but I'm gonna be up at Fanime and I don't think anyone else from my comm is going this year. It would be nice to spend at least a little time with frill appreciators.

For those saying they want to try going to a meet but are too nervous. Trust, as long as you show a willingness to learn most lolitas are actually be really understanding with newbies. Everyone started somewhere and most remember the struggle of first starting to build a wardrobe. Also, having one less unknown person staring at meet photos is always a plus. I've personally always disliked that my comm doesn't delete the people that obviously don't intend to ever attend a meet. Why give them access to our photos when there are so many minors in the group?

>>9863609
I travel a lot and generally go to a com meet whenever I'm anywhere new. Never had any issues (except in NYC xD). San Francisco com a couple girls walked me to the baby store and we're super sweet, I don't think they'd have any problems with you.

>>9862955
For me, the coolest meetup was the time that my comm rented out a room in a movie theater to play Kamikaze Girls. I can't remember how much the ticket to the event cost - maybe $25? but the price included the movie and popcorn/snacks. There was a raffle and a coordinate contest too, and everyone who attended the meetup got a goodie bag with handmade keychains and buttons specifically made for the event. There was a Kamikaze Girls themed photoshoot area with fun props before the movie as well. Our comm normally has between 10-30 girls show up to most meetups but I think there were around 100 people at this one, I was like "Where did all of you people come from????"

I just thought it was really cool that my local comm was able to organize something that big, and overall everything ran pretty smoothly.

>>9863804
That sounds so cool! We've had talks about organizing something similar in my local comm, I hope we can pull this off.

>>9863256
The ones in my comm all look like budget stage magicians or crappy Kuroshitwhatever cosplayers.

>>9863609
We love guests! If you're going to be at Fanime, keep in mind it's not going to be comm-specific events because lots of con-goers also like to attend. The Cafe V event, which lots of comm members attend, is sold out, but there's the fashion show and there's always a meet either before/after the show so people can socialize, so feel free to drop in and chat. It'll be pretty informal.

>>9858110
>mods don't wear Lolita

Wtf......what are they all just scamming people?

How are the comms in Northern Germany like? A year or two ago I heard they mostly stick to already established friends so it's hard to get into it. Is that still the case?

>>9863609
As some one who has lived in a lot of places, I have been welcomed to pretty much every comm. One of my favorite meets ever was when I was down in Orlando and they had a mana themed old school gothic meet.

>>9863609
I've both been the out-of-towner and have met up with people from outside comms at events. Overall have always had good experiences. We've had some out of state people stir up drama in our comm page before, but our mods and active members curve them really quick. They typically don't make it to a meet after that.

Any ones comm doing any thing cool for summer ILD? My comm is doing the same thing they always do because many of the members are too scared to do something new for a change.

>>9864716
A smaller satellite comm is doing a fundraiser tea at a cat cafe the next weekend. I think that's a cute idea.

>>9863824
They used to wear lolita but don't anymore. Pretty sure it's been like 5 years since they did anything lolita related.

>>9864746
Next weekend isn't ILD now is it?

>>9865058
No, it's the first Saturday of June.

>>9863804
That is my dream for years!

>>9865058
No need to be like that. I think she was assuming you were asking for meetup idea suggestions.

>edgy ita posts on comm page to gauge interest in an Ero meet
>only one reply and its a mod asking what that even means
>faith restored
My comm is good.

>>9865525
Did she answer the question? What the hell Is an ero meet?

>>9865538
Go blouseless to hang out in Victoria's Secret

>>9865538
She didn't, unfortunately. I was curious too.

>>9863804
Ayyyye Charm City best comm

>>9864716
My comm is trying to shove our huge group into this tiny tea house we always frequent, however even the mods stated that our comm has grown too large to host ild or larger meets at that location anymore. Yet here we are, shoving 40 girls with 2-3 petticoats each into a tiny, crowded tea shop. Im thinking I may skip it and go the following day on my own. It's a lovely place but I am unsure why ILD is being held here again when we have larger venues at our disposal.

>>9865538
I mean, it's probably just like any other themed meet. Just wear ero to the meet.

>>9864716
My comm is going to a really beautiful mansion with a big garden area for tea. We went last year and had a great time, so I'm excited to go again.

>>9865538
>>9865701

I've hosted an ero meet before. We all wore ero lolita and went to a drag show, it was a lot of fun. 20-ish people, everyone looked good, I think the veteran goth lolitas took it as an opportunity to try a fun, sillier coordinate

How's the MN comm? I'm moving (closer) to MN and I'm eager to end my lonelita status. Only thing is that they won't let you in now if you're not in MN?

How is the Savannah comm?

>>9865617
Is this AZ because I feel the same way. It’s a really small tea house that would be far too crammed with all of us.

>>9865525
...I get the feeling that a lot of this comm consists of gulls and I'm kind of glad for it. I was wondering if anyone else noticed this post, (with zero follow up from the OP, strangely).

>>9865925
110% - I think the vast majority at least lurk if not engage in posting. Given the shitty ita rep MI/GLL/Frillitia had four or five years ago, I think it's generally turned around. (Except for the few holdout perma-itas and overeager/concrit-deaf newbies.)

>>9865743
Let me know if you find out. Its Fucking radio silence over here re:MN comm.

>>9864716
LA comm always has a huge meet but they’ve been pretty quiet about updates this time. They’re usually pretty good about posting what’s happening but it feels like not much is...?

>>9865992
LA has their event page up for ILD already.

>>9865906
If you have a better place, you should have spoken up when they were talking about venue problems. From what I understand this is our last resort.

>>9864716
Out of the three groups for this one city, only one has posted a ILD event. I'm actually really looking forward to it, the venue matches the theme and it sounds delicious.

>>9866055
I thought the last resort is at someone’s house like we default to half the time. The biggest problem we have is people wanting to pay to get into places. We can’t have nice and extravagant meet ups like other comms because we have too many members who are cheap asses. I would love to have a brunch at the Phoenician but bothering to ask the comm to spend 50 dollars a person for afternoon tea is too much for them. We will never be able to have our own private event because of this. It’s sad, because our comm has grown amazingly large yet we still host meets like we did when we where small since no one wants to pay for better meets.

>>9866074
This!
I have done afternoon tea at the Phoenician and even done their brunch in lolita before. It’s really nice and well worth the 50 dollars. You do have to reserve to get the tea but it is every day of the week. Not to mention the view is beautiful there. I don’t know why the community doesn’t go there more often. It seems is always English Rose or the biltmore. If we where a more committed comm, a event at wrigly mansion would be fun. I have always wanted to go there but haven’t been invited to an event at the mansion.

>>9866081
Just brunch or something at Wrigley would be lovely I think

>>9866103
Good luck getting the members at the comm to want to pay for that. You would be lucky to get at least 10 to agree to this. Nice places like that cost a good amount last I checked. It’s why I go to those places with friends. I know they won’t flounce at the idea of spending more then the cost of a Big Mac.

>>9866074
Did anyone even suggest the Phoenician? Because that would have been an awesome place now that you mention it.

>>9866118
I was going to suggest it when the plans with the venue fell through. But decided agaisnt it since people backed in the past for having to pay 40 dollars for a reservation at the biltmore. Why suggest something you know the poor lolitas will just complain about. It’s the week after comic con and you know they will complain about how they can’t “save” that much to attend both the meet up and comic con. Maybe I’ll suggest it for winter ILD instead. Or just make my own that falls through.

>>9866111
>>9866122
Hey hashing this out here I gotta wonder why we give a shit if 40 people show up to ILD or whatever? If only 10 will cough up money to do something really nice and pleasant that isn't the English Rose then who cares if the other cheapasses won't show.

>>9866123
this, quality vs quantity

>>9866061
Seattle? WaSeattle's new only active mod is going to be out of town for ILD so she can't plan anything. And NSEGL is mostly too small to bother competing, but they are doing the Kit-Tea Fundraiser the weekend after.

>>9866123
I would be okay with that. I’m getting so tired of English Rose. But you know if you plan a event on ILD that “everyone can’t attend” you’re being an elitist right? Since it’s obvious many of us are here, why are we ignoring the dramas that have happened with other comms who did this? Do we really need to have drama again after we finally got over the last bout?

But I’m totally down for tea at the Phoenician.

>>9858484
If you feel noone is required to hang out with people they don't know or care about... then you should prob shouldn't be a mod and let someone else who actually does care about the comm take over.

>>9858133
Me too anon, me too.
In the last two years maybe two monthly meets have been planned by someone who isn't me. I made it very clear that anyone can host a meet, and that they can even ask for advice if they're nervous or if it's their first time hosting.

Nada. It's infuriating desu. Most of the time I don't mind doing it and I find it easy since I've been doing it for so long, but it'd still be nice to pop in to a meet and not worry about being the one to get everything sorted out.

>>9865706
Hey comm buddy! I'm excited too!

>>9861971
Fucking hell, we have a special snowflake in our comm, similar to this but not with food. If anyone from my comm is reading this,this might out myself to them, but fuck it, i need to vent. This person won't use paypal or buy shit online, thinks she can fit into things that are NOT her size whatsoever, constantly goes on about how small a part of her body is, and is just a plain mess. She's annoying as fuck, a really big ita, no helping her, and I just want her gone.

She constantly posts to this with unnecessary comments, probably to just participate but it comes off like she is stingy, and kind of passive aggressive sometimes.

I wish the mods would put their foot down with her, like give her warnings. If I were a mod, I would. I literally fume every time I get a notification that this person has commented or posted in our comm, because its always dumb as fuck and to no point of any conversation. I'm also pretty sure shes one sandwich short of a picnic.

There is the option of simply blocking her, but I want to know what meets she goes to because I think the might be anti-vax and I don't want to be around someone like that, and even if she isn't anti-vax, I don't want to have to communicate with her in person.

tl;dr annoying stingy, anti-vax ita i want to be removed from my local comm.

>>9866255
Is this girl a new member to the comm with a weeby fake name?

>>9866257
I don't know how long she has been lurking in the group, I don't think she is extremely new, to the group but not a long standing member like most of us. She kind of reminds me of Steve Buscemi from Mr Deeds...

I'm a non-German going to DoKomi as my first German con. Will people be responsive if I approach them in English? Any must sees at the con? Is there any way to find out what artists will be in the artist alley? (Maybe a tag used on instagram/tumblr?)

>>9862370
>Milwaukee/Madison

How are those two groups? I'm moving down to southern Wisconsin due to school and want to not be a lonelita

>>9866128
I imagine it would be a huge undertaking for one person to plan that as well. I was not expecting anything from the WaSea anyways, considering their inactive-ness.

Oh yeah I saw the Kit-Tea, that sounds cute.

>>9865706
Yass! I'm so looking forward to this - the venue is just gorgeous.

>>9862015
Nah I'm fat as hell and have gone to two meet so far and no hate

>>9866755
Oops left my email on, now I will get hate

>>9866759
>>9866755
HISSSSSSSSS

>>9866257
If you are in my comm, which I kind of think you are, please do something about this person.

I will not go to meets with her anti-vax shit and her constant bullshit is making me consider leaving the group and being a lone-lita. Only one person has actually called her out on her bullshit, so amen to that.

>>9866255
I had someone like this once that really got under my skin, I did end up blocking her. My friends know to tip me off if she RSVP's to something I'm planning to go to. Simple as that :) I recommend it, having a little less bullshit on your feed is always a good thing!

Also, what is it with these types of people and their aversion to using PayPal/online banking? My comm has a couple of those too.

>>9866971
There are multiple people in my comm unable to use Paypal/online banking but in their case it's because they're intellectually disabled and not allowed full control of their own finances, so they need a guardian's permission to make any online purchases and I guess their guardians aren't too happy about letting them spend a lot of money on weird Japanese clothing.

It's honestly kind of bizarre how many intellectually disabled adults there are in my comm. They rarely show up to regular meetups but at con meetups there is often an entire table full of them and one or two unfortunate newbies who just sat down in the first empty spot they could find.

>>9866169
This. Planning social gatherings with strangers online is the point of having a comm. If you're only gonna hang out with your friends, don't be a part of the comm.

I want to organise meet-ups, but nobody shows up to things in my comm unless it's organised by someone they know

>>9866971
I know two people who got scammed through paypal and paypal sided with the scammer, so now they only sell within the comm with direct bank transfer

I feel like my comm is a keg of gunpowder about to explode into drama. At the moment everyone is at peace on the surface but all it needs is for someone to stir the pot a little harder. It's not going to be me though.

>>9867185
what a stupid thing to say. who wants to hang out with people they don't like just because they wear the same frilly shit? don't like it, organize your own meet. i highly doubt anyone's paying her to organize these.

>>9866074
What in the hell are you talking about? Most comm regulars have pretty steady jobs and wouldn't mind to shell out $50 for a meet. Especially for ILD. Winter ILD was $40 and was a huge success. Who are these cheapos you are talking about?

Also isn't the reason that the meet is being hosted in the tiny space because one of the organizers works there and was really pushing for it?

Maybe you should host winter ILD then, or just make a meet, because I guarantee people will come.

>>9867199
Having an attitude like this is a self-fulfilling prophecy, anon. It's one thing to be aware of tension, but if you're expecting the worst it's going to come out in your behavior whether you're conscious of it or not and that is only going to add to the problem. Either separate yourself from the situation or make an effort to fix it.

>>9867241
anon they literally said if you want to hang out with your friends instead of people you may not/don't like, just hang out with your friends instead of being in a comm

>>9867015
>Intellectually disabled
God, is this what you're being told to call them now?

>>9867292
Anon, other comms have meetups that cost like 60-80 dollars to get in and have prizes like brand dresses and shit. We get what ever crap Laurel pumped out of her emberodery machine and some skirt someone made and couldn’t sell. Why? Because we don’t get as many people rsvp for a event that costs money like the other comms. We are just as big member size as other comms but we have less participation then them because we have soo many people their coins.

Maybe I will plan the ILD in the winter. Or maybe even my own meet outside ILD just to get a feel for who will attend. Who knows. But I’ll see if I have the time to plan a meet that’s not at English Rose once.

>>9867476
>We get what ever crap Laurel pumped out of her emberodery machine and some skirt someone made and couldn’t sell.
qft
It's embarrassing that our "big" meets are still like, barely above a comm with less than 50 members in terms of quality.

>>9867512
We don’t have quality. We never have. Our go too soon are English Rose, someone’s house, biltmore ( not recently ), Park. I’ll give D some credit for trying to get the group to venture out to new places. But she’s the only one. The goth coffee meet got me by surprise because it wasn’t D making the plans this time. But for ILD? We default to the same things over and over because members don’t want to change things and throw it all on the regulars to make the meets because it’s “comfortable”. I would like to be more active in the group. But it’s hard to be active with people who don’t want to go outside of the crammed little tea shop for ILD.

If I planned a meet, would people show interests? I dont really know any one so would people attend a meet hosted by someone they havnt really talked with much?

>>9867324
>pretending like it's a binary choice
>pretending like you can't make friends in a comm
>pretending that the presence of friends in a comm means you have to like everyone in that comm

Read where this thread started. The anon is complaining that people (presumably themselves) are being left out of meets because they're "not friends with" the organizer. The anon being left out is probably poorly dressed or a shitty person to be around. That happens in every comm, and there's no reason to conflate shitty people being ostracized with the idea that the organizers should suddenly quit the comm.

>>9867547
>pretending like it's a binary choice
Thanks for phrasing this better than I would (or could) have.

>>9867476
Maybe contribute a prize before you shit on others who willingly give their time and skill for it?

Also at last ILD there was a ton of brand prizes that came from the hosts pocket.

inb4 im not L but sheesh you don't sound like you even know what you are talking about or plan any meets yourself.

>>9867533
Once again you sound like you don't know anything. The comm is totally open to anyone hosting meets, and in fact welcome it. There have been plenty different types of meets, hosted by various people, like sewing, planetarium, or the haunted tour.

> I dont really know any one
and clearly you don't know much about the comm.

>>9867547
I think anon was annoyed because they're comm leaders who don't organize anything and only hang out with their friends. If I were in a comm I'd be fine with them being in my comm, but would prefer more active leaders.

>>9867669
You sound triggered someone doesn’t like your friends stuff.

>>9867292
The one that works there just said that English Rose was willing to host us for ILD out of the blue one day. She was then offered a position to help host it, but it still wasn't decided right away where we would go. I think it came down to English Rose and Spicery in the end.

>>9867669
As someone who has gone to a few meets and talked with many of the members, I can’t help but agree about the anons concerns. L and C both have come pretty well padded closets and can’t dress them selves if it was mapped out infront of them. L just loads programs into a machine and the machine does the work. She also is quite obnoxious in person. Her designs are rather lacking and boring. C is a mod who, dispite being nice in person, trolls here and continues to think she’s not doing any thing wrong when she looks like someone barely in the fashion for a year. D has gotten better at not being a bitch and insufferable like she was, but also comes here and starts shit. Then we have a comm with batty who is notorious for being here and starting shit/shit talking members. But she doesn’t attend meets any more (thank god). Then there’s FCC and her little winged monkey.

I don’t blame the other anon for not wanting to put much effort into a meet or even wanting to interact with many of the people from the comm. our comm has a lot of potential drama starters and stirrers. You either be very distant from the people and avoid the conflict. Or you get into friends with those who are a ticking time bomb of issues here and elsewhere. Why would you want to put time and money into a meet when your comm is nothing but itas and drama spoons?

>>9867672
Doubt it. There was a girl who ragequit my comm because one of our efamous lolitas, not even a leader or a mod, had a lolita date with a few other members. She make snarky comments about it for weeks before leaving. This is lolita fashion, where we're inundated with fragile snowflakes.

>>9867533
Well, what kind of meet are we talking? I have a feeling if it sounds interesting enough, people would go still.

>>9867700
If you think those are the only comm members who come here and start shit then you need to talk to more people. PO lurks and self posts to stir up drama and so does SA. C also has a winged monkey in the form of J who also likes to stir up shit on here about C and other comm members. There's other people I know that come here to shit talk and self post, and who knows you might be one of them, so don't act like it's just those people. It's a lot of them, some just aren't as vocal about it.

Honestly if you don't want to deal with this shit then be a lonelita or just suck it up like the rest of us and trust no bitch.

>>9867703
Maybe at the aquarium in Scottsdale? That way I won’t have to rsvp and be disappointed if no one shows. It is 40 a person. But if I planned it, it would be in the evening since I don’t get much free time before 2 pm. There’s a few memebers i know of that don’t have much freedom before noon like me and would like to branch out to those members.

>>9867710
I was naming a few of the people not all of them. If you want me to go down the list I can. It’s just that the few I mention are the ones that show up more often in threads then the others since they don’t out themselves nearly as often.

And I am a lone lolita, because fucking the meets are boring and not something I want to attend. God forbid I want to do something diffrent for a change.

>>9867711
I’d be down for the aquarium. I can wear marine kingdom I just got.

>>9867700
If you don't think that D isn't an insufferable bitch you don't have her added on FB. All she does is virtue signal to all her sjw friends. There's other annoying sjw in the comm but she's the worst.

>>9859287
Like I get BJDs sorta at meets.....but actual porcelain dolls?

>>9867672
ayrt, and again, unless someone is paying the mods to organize stuff, I don't see what business she has to complain. Organize your own meets if you don't like it OP. You'll quickly find how thankless it is and how little interest you have inviting cunts you're not friends with who will bitch on /cgl/ about you.

>have two local comms
>one is filled with ita newbs and constant drama
>made mod in other comm
>organize my own meet finally
>very nervous and afraid no one will have fun and other comm will shit talk about it
>meet comes and we get a good amount to show up
>every single person came up and personally told me how great of a meet it was, how much fun they had, looking forward to next one I organize, etc
>drama comm never gets complimented on their trashy meets
>feels really great

starting to really love my comm more and more while feeling like I finally belong. Everyone is so great and chill, even our little newbies are pretty great.

>>9867724
I have D on my friends list and can’t agree more. I have her unsubbed because of the constant sjw vegan shit she posts. The e-fame one is the worse by far. I liked her outfits for a time but she’s uses her high visibility on Facebook to spread tumblr level of sjw garbage.

>>9867724
I'm so glad that someone else thinks D is an insufferable bitch, because seems like everyone else sucks up to and grees with her. D and M sure love attacking people in discussions and pretending they are so smart and above everyone as the supreme SJWs.

>>9867755
M as in FFC? If yes then duh. She’s black. Of course she’s going to be a massive SJW.

>>9866255
Yuck. My comm had someone similar to this up until recently.

Ours refused to use PayPal and only bought things from Amazon and eventually an AP replica.

She’s left the comm afew times in the past because she was called out for her awful behavior/attitude towards others and was banned from sales groups for trying to offer $40 for newer releases and then would pitch fits and cry “elitists” when turned down. Had even tried offering gift cards for Amazon and Walmart as payment.

Eventually she was allowed back but was kept a close eye on while also doing our best to make sure she felt welcome and like she belonged. Can’t tell you how many completely unnecessary comments she would spam on absolutely anything posted. Recently was the last straw, she pitched an insane fit over some personal matters and involved several comm members/mods and resorted to just straight up harassment for days.

I hate to vent about her here but lord have mercy that was something beyond stressful to deal with. I feel bad because we all really did try our best to accommodate her but nothing ever worked.

>>9867672
This was a problem in my comm. Our mods never did anything and didn’t even attend meets organized by others, and when people asked why they became defensive and “all we have in common is frilly clothes we’re not all friends we aren’t obligated to hang out with you!!” which is true but... they’re mods. If you don’t want to interact with the rest of the community, why be a mod? In my comm mods aren’t expected to organize meetups but they are expected to be at least somewhat approachable. If you don’t want to interact with anyone you’re not already friends with, you shouldn’t be in a position like that.

>>9867711
I know there has been interest expressed in the past for going there in the past. I think an afternoon one would be nice for a change as well. Get a late lunch/early dinner as well while we're out maybe. I say go for it!

>>9867724
That's fine, she's pretty much always been that way. She's at least not as aggressive about it now. Her behavior before her hiatus was much more drama-mongering and rude, especially while she was buddies with Dom. Idk what >>9867755 is talking about unless they mean the recent thread about cultural appropriation, but R was being a dumbass in a previously pretty patient thread, so I don't really fault anyone for getting snippy.

>>9867713
If you were content being a lone lolita, you wouldn't be here complaining about the community. We always welcome fresh ideas and new hosts, take action if you want to see a change anon.

>>9867292
I only offered to host it at ER because the owner asked about ILD and when the lolitas were coming back. I thought I would throw it in as an option just in case other venues didn’t work out. I never said it HAD to be there.

>>9867702
I wonder if that was my comm

>>9867711
>>9867714
>>9867856

We literally had an expensive aquarium meet last year and now we have a science center meet that, surprise! You don't have to RSVP to because tickets are sold at the door. It's also hosted by someone who doesn't usually host meets.

There's multiple meets a month. Don't like one? Go to the next. Or host your own. Quit acting like the meets or the comm is the problem and figure out what the stick in your ass is really about.

>>9867897
Not aggressive? D is one of those sjw that thinks all white people are racist. She probably hates that the whole comm isn't vegan too but doesn't say anything about it.

>>9867797
> insinuates all black people are sjws
Way to generalize

>>9868056
You're right, there's plenty of non-racist black people that don't have a hate boner for white people all the time.

>>9868059
As someone who lives in an area with lots of black people, there are plenty of sane black people.
You're just as racist as the black sjws. Congrats!

>>9868059
Trust me. My world doesn't revolve around you
>t. a black lolita with better things to do than have a hate boner for white people

>>9868095
I'm not even the same anon as >>9867797 but ok

>>9867711
Hi Virginia. You know you can plan your own meets or gague interest for a meet in the comm instead of bitching about it on cgl right? I thought you were better than this but I guess not.

>>9866169
>>9867185
>>9867672
Online moderators aren't leaders. That isn't the job. They maintain the forums online. It's a separate job from being a 'leader'. Someone can be both, but taking on one of these responsibilities does not force you to take on the other. Not every lolita community is going to have a leader.

If you lament the absence of this in your community, organize something yourself. Cultivate this behavior in others by encouraging them to do the same, or become the de facto 'leader' yourself.

>>9868110
Agreed, as a former mod of a large comm. The mods were there to:
- maintain the FB group (check to make sure new members were not spam bots or randoms, keep an updated list of upcoming meets etc.)
- organize one big meet per year that needed a site reservation and ticketed entry
- help inexperienced people organize their first big meet (making sure they got advance payments from people etc.)

I think that last one is even beyond the requirements of most comms. Most of our events have been hosted by a small group of people but others definitely pitch in too.

>>9868110
>If you lament the absence of this in your community, organize something yourself. Cultivate this behavior in others by encouraging them to do the same, or become the de facto 'leader' yourself

Nah they'd rather just come on cgl and complain about cliques and "secret" (friends only) outings and whine about how they're a nobody in their comm. It's easier to expect everyone to kiss your ass without doing anything worthwhile yourself.

>>9868105
What the fuck Virginia is the last person on earth who would bitch on 4chan. She's the sweetest person ever, you're psychotic. She makes one post lamenting that she can't predict her schedule at work to be there for morning meetups and now you think she's the one throwing a hissy fit? I don't even care that I'm blatantly white knighting for her you're a complete lunatic if you've got some sort of vendetta for HER of all the people in this fucking comm.

>>9868121
>>9868110
So ya'll agree that when there's people doing problematic shit in your comms, you'll do nothing about it?

What is with lolita moderators and not knowing how to moderate a community? I've been both a moderator for online forums and in other (non-fashion) related communities and a leadership role is definitely a part of that. Much less so than an admin, but when shit starts happening we had to deal with it.

No wonder so many comms have issues. You don't appoint people to deal with them.

>>9868130
>problematic shit
What no
We were discussing mods being expected to host meets/always host meets open to the entire group. They're definitely expected to intervene in big issues and filter out creeps and assholes from the group, but that doesn't translate into them being beholden to the group's meetups 100%. Again, if there's more to it than you're willing to let slip that's one thing, but mods going out with friends for a more private day out in lolita is not a "secret" meet or some sort of violation of their moderator privileges. Make friends asshole.

>>9868130
Most comms have rules about being respectful etc. So if someone breaks that rule, of course the mod has to do something. But the mods do not exist to attend your meets.

>>9868131
>mfw I'm the admin of a local non-lolita comm and not the shitbag you think you're talking to

Enjoy your drama, "ladies".

>>9868123
>>9868110
In my comm, people do not attend meets if there aren't any mods/popular members involved. That's not just me being salty, that's common knowledge in our comm and the reason why ''normal'' members don't organise meets.

If I were to organise a meet, I know only 1-3 people would show up (and big chance they are the awkward ita's of the comm), so I might as well just hang out with my friend or by myself. When someone has a good idea for a meet-up, it's better to ask the mod to co-organise it, or make a post about it beforehand to see if the mods/popular members want to go.

>>9868130
Honestly moderators don't really even have that much power. They can't do anything about people posting shit on 4chan or complaining about cheap/expensive meets.

They can only moderate the Facebook group, or whatever platform the comm page is on. They can shut down inappropriate threads or replies, kick people out of the comm and make a filtering system against creeps. That's literally it. It's not up to them to resolve personal conflicts or seep and punish people who post here.

What exactly are you looking for from them?

>>9868110
Exactly this. Keeping the peace when comment wars start, screening potential members and throwing down the ban hammer when someone is acting a fool is already time consuming enough. I don't expect mods to be organizing meets on top of it, nor blame then when they have private events with their closest friends.

I look at a comm as more of a networking group than an organization. The mods just give us a platform by maintaining the page online. We're all adults, if someone wants to have a meet they can organize it anyway they please- private or otherwise.

>>9868136
Oh ok, in that case:

>>9858421
What comm?

>>9866401
Milwaukee comm is pretty active (at least 1-2 meetups per month) and sometimes carpool to bigger Chicago meetups. Everyone seems pretty nice overall.

>>9867185
Sorry, but just because a couple of girls that I'm friends with inside and outside of the comm decide to get dressed up and hang out one day doesn't mean we're obligated to invite the entire comm.

Maybe we're really good friends who want to talk about some personal things together.
If you want more meets, get off your butt and host them yourself.

How long would you say it normally takes to be accepted into a FB group? I submitted my app a day or so ago. My profile pic is not a full body pic so you can't see me in lolita but I am holding an usakumya to my face.

>>9868230
Just message a mod if you have any questions.

>>9867476
You must be new to the con considering past events have been in that price range, and we’ve had brand raffles before.
There’s always that new cunt who bitches about everything because they don’t know shit.

>>9867738
OMG this has to be my comm. If not, it sounds very similar.

>>9867724
I used to think this about D from their posts on here and fb, but after talking to them and actually getting to know them, they’re really sweet. Just... passionate.
But I respect it.
I want to be better friends with them but I’m so awkward.

And honestly there’s no more drama in the comm, ever since Dom left and angel stopped being active. whoever is posting here is the first person starting shit in almost a year.

>>9867797
M as in MA who pretends to be the victim but is already involved in a shit ton of drama as she rejoined the comm, and hasn't worn a single coord yet.

She's also in the crazy drama over at the general, which I hadn't bothered to read.

>>9863903
Hey~ I was at that meetup I think. Just last year right?

lmao what a mess

>>9868328
I don't understand why she hasn't been banned from these groups and from FB for using a fake name. If you wanted her gone so badly then you'd report her profile.

>>9868283
>D
>"gender neutral" pronouns

lol fucking sjw have ruined the AZ comm

>>9868130
Where did I (>>9868121) say that?

We removed a problematic person from the comm while I was a mod. 99% of our members are adults who behave accordingly, so it hasn't been a problem otherwise. Maybe try being in a comm that isn't full of trash and you don't have to worry about "leading" children and idiots?

>>9866123
especially because when 40 people go, a good half of them are ita newbies anyways, making the group as a whole look like shit. i’d be happy to pay for a smaller, fancier az comm ild

>>9868339
I wish she would get banned.....i caught her twice telling new members our mods are useless airheads, dissing the meet ups (if you don't like one go to a different one idiot), listing about ten girls in the comm saying they were mean and brand whores who judge those without brand....

>>9868359
What the fuck are you on about anon? MA is friends with the comm mods. It's the only reason she's still in the comm kek

>>9867533
anon a bunch of different people have planned meets in the last year, myself included. i don’t even talk to people that much and i had good turnout at both.

i seriously think it comes down to just taking initiative and inviting people to something fun. we will come. sitting around anonymously complaining isn’t going to change anything ffs

>>9868371
What does MA have to do with MM?

>>9868359
Shut up Ashley everyone knows you're a piece of shit. Quit trying to blame other people for your own actions.

>>9868386
Because you were responding to a post about MA? Idiot

>>9868391
I can’t see the original post because it’s been removed???? Idiot

>>9868341
You’re right how dare we be decent human beings, the absolute gall.

>>9868408
kek have fun enabling someone's mental illness then

>>9867734
nayrt but I guess I don't get why you would volunteer to be a mod and then never go to meets. Because you can only hang out with your friends? Why even be a mod?

>>9867713
I kinda want you to go down the list I genuinely like everyone

>>9868056
Where did you get that saying because she was black and a sjw that all blacks where sjws? I mean sjws are mostly blacks but not all blacks are sjws. Why would you assume this unless you where racist trying to deflect the blame from yourself?

>>9868408
>>9868420
Except D doesn’t identify and any other gender then her given. Don’t assume because she’s boyish in style outside lolita she is neutral or some other gender.

>>9868371
>>9868359
Just a random onlooker, but is this about M***y A*n? I feel like I see the initials MA pop up all over cgl and I have no clue what the deal is. (I've only met M***y A*n once and she was perfectly nice to me, so I'm confused)

>>9868566
Except they have posted numerous times they prefer gender neutral terms and use them on FB.
Yeah I know that shit is tedious to most people but if I can make someone feel comfortable about themselves by just changing one small word in my vocabulary, sure. That doesn’t harm anyone. There are a way worse people and things happening in the world.
It’s not as big of a deal as everyone makes it.

>>9868336
...you missed a name. Who is she and what happened?

You’re all really overreacting about D and are judging her pre-friendship with domi.
She used to be really annoying about her beliefs, as domi was, but has calmed down significantly and addressed the way she’s acted in the past. Her calling out and denouncing domi was a huge indicator to me that she’s a better person now. It’s like she saw all her negative traits in domi and noped the fuck out of it.
She has never brought up her beliefs or her veganism to anyone in the comm without being asked first. And when she does, she discusses it openly and listens to people. She has never forced anyone to be vegan and doesn’t mind when people eat meat around her.
Don’t judge her solely on online posts. She’s a nice cool person irl, and nowhere near as extreme as she may come off online.

>>9868594

>>9868569
Not sure in this case but there is some ongoing drama with the moderator of RC:U whose initials are also MA, with a fake sounding last name, so I am assuming that could be who they're talking about here with the banning from FB stuff. Something about her vs. a thirsty efame youtuber from a few weeks ago? Something to do with someone wearing that nazi meta coord?

>>9868477
NAYRT but I'm guessing you can't read very well.

I'm in the comm in question. The mods go to meets, they just don't invite people they don't like. There's exactly nothing wrong with that. If you don't like it, don't be someone people don't want to invite?

>>9868594
>>9868595
I noticed the change in her after what ever happened with her and Dom. She’s a lot more approachable now then she was before. I’ll be honest about her though, I still can not trust her to be entirely changed for good. She still gets into the SJW mindsets when debates come up on RC. She’s bettered herself in pubic, sure. But I still do not think she’s bettered elsewhere. She could very well be the one making comments here every time something is brought up with Dom or Batty. She was very close with those two that I’m sure there’s some bitterness in her that makes an apperance here. She may play buddy buddy off anon. But I feel she can be very nasty when she’s not with the threat of being caught.

TL:DR I see her progress, but still can’t trust her to be genuine.

>>9868130
This!

>>9868636
I'm an outsider to this drama but got nosy and looked up Domi, is she the one with vegan in her username? Because that's fucking ridiculous.

>>9868569
No it's not her in this case. I would be careful with the one you're thinking of though, just as a fair warning to you

>>9868620
Chill. I don't have a personal problem here. I'm friends with a couple of the mods in my comm but there's also like 15 of them and I don't even know some of them.

I just think its weird to put together a group and then not hang out with the group you put together. I'm not even talking about you specifically. I just mean its a strange thing to do. Not like- oh they're so mean for not hanging out with people they don't like

>>9868594
>>9868595
I get what you are trying to do but that's super shitty and scummy to go dig through someone's personal fb for a (not public) post they made months ago to screen cap it and post to cgl.

>>9868780
I saved it when she first posted it because I thought it was great. Never had a chance to post it because we’ve been so drama free until now.

>>9868636
I’m one of the main people who posts about her when she’s relevant because she hurt a lot of my friends and I love seeing her crash and burn. and I’d guess there’s 2 other people who do as well judging on the posts. I could probably name both of them, and neither are D. She makes it obvious when she posts here and really doesn’t care for doms drama. It seems like she just wants to be done with her, so I really don’t see her posting about it.

>>9868725
Sage for samefag, but her drama is worth going through the archives and reading, she fucked with a lot of people and was thankfully banned. Key words are flannel-Chan, dom, domi, and of course her full name.

>>9868887
Is she active at all in the LA comm? Or is she done with Lolita? Seems she’s more pin up now. Here’s my favorite screen cap from her

I feel like my comm is disjointed and no one likes each other. It doesn't feel like a community at all, just some groups of friends who pretend to get along. It makes lolita really not fun. Genuinely considering selling all my clothes and leaving lolita.

>>9868891
I'm a vegan and I've been actually raped, this person disgusts me to my core.

>>9868899
>not wearing a fashion style because your community is shit
lmao
Why would you do this? You realize that you can wear lolita without a comm, right?

>>9868558
> post literally said someone is black so of course they're going to be a sjw
> you come in here trying to make it sound like that wasn't a stereotype
Bruh, really?

>>9868899
anon, I don't have a com and just do my own thing. even in your position I wouldn't sell my lolita just because of that com. if you really love it, you don't need others.

>>9867755
yall sound like some salty ass racists who are reallll upset that someone has told you to do better. waaaah. you act like these people stir the pot but ur the one with all the gd spoons??

>>9868913
How is it racist to dislike a white SJW who constantly posts white, cis, and man hating stuff, virtue signals to everyone, thinks she's a saint, and purposefully posts statuses to get into sjw arguments with people?

Also I feel bad for her boyfriend because she actually said all men are garbage.

>>9868919
Again, you’re judging her on her posts and not her real actions and choices. Just proof you’re probably new to the comm and haven’t actually talked to her in the past year and a half.
CGL of all places should know not to judge someone solely on posts online.
She’s far different IRL and not nearly as extreme as she seems, and way better than she used to be.
She even acknowledges how she regrets her past choices.

>>9868844
That isn't even better in the slightest. You're a fucking creep, anon.

>>9868922
I didn’t mean to offend, chill. just thought it was relevant in showing she’s changed a lot. You act like I stalked her or something when it literally just showed up in my feed one day.
You don’t seem to be complaining about the tons of other caps in this thread taken from peoples FB.

>>9868929
Ntayrt but it IS pretty creepy to save a cap of someone's personal facebook and then sit on it until there's drama. That's weird, seriously.

>>9868921
>Don't judge people on what they post online

What? You can't be serious. What a person does online is the same, if not more of an indicator of their true self..

Also yes I have met her in person and I do appreciate her finds threads but you can't say that only one side of her is the real person. She is just well adjusted enough to be decent in person.

Just like all of us bitches here. I'm sorry but all this dirt is our true selves. Us being sweet in person is just one side of our masks.

>>9868921
Also to add on to >>9868942

It's not like D denies being the person she is online. She is proud of it. So why shouldn't I judge her on the person she chose to be? You can have all the tolerant beliefs without being hateful of others.

>>9868933
You've never saved a cap of a Twitter post or fb status? Its pretty common online from what I've seen.

>>9868942
>What a person does online is the same, if not more of an indicator of their true self
So untrue. How can you not be aware of trolling?

>>9868942
I said don’t judge them SOLELY on what they post online.
Reading comprehension, my dude.

>>9868981
Sometimes that's all you can judge people off of. If you're a shitty person online but nice in person, or vice versa, I can't trust you for shit. It's the same as someone who is two faced in my book

>>9868984
You’re judging someone on something long and calculated that they had to think about posting. Usually trying to give off specific character traits.

rather than judging their decisions, thoughts, and words in the middle of an actual conversation, when they don’t have time to calculate their thoughts and give off a certain persona.
You’re an idiot if you judge people on posts alone.

>>9868987
>You’re judging someone on something long and calculated that they had to think about posting. Usually trying to give off specific character traits.


Um yeah of course I would judge someone on something they are deliberately doing, with actual thought put into it?? If they deliberately want to show themselves as shitty, yes, of course that's them and you should take a long hard look at this person you are defending.

What are you actually trying to argue here?

>>9868975
Trolling = being a troll.
Indicator of shittiness.

Also there's no way someone is trolling by being a hateful SJW.

>>9868987
If someone puts thought into a post and they still come out sounding like an awful person, then they're an awful person. If they post without any thought and they sound like an awful person because of it, then they're just wreckless. Either way, judging in either scenario still reveals parts of that person's character. Case and point, someone resorting to insults when someone disagrees with their view says a lot about their character.

>>9869017
Holy shit I’m not saying dont judge them on their posts, I’m saying don’t judge them SOLELY on their posts. Can no one fucking read?

>>9869044
Can you explain why you are working so hard to defend someone who willingly shows their bad side?

And I'm not just talking about D here. Theres plenty of other people who are so sweet and helpful in person but once they get in private or online the floodgates open.

I get what you're trying to argue but that argument only works if someone accidentally says something dumb online, or they don't post much, but they're really great and fun in person. For some people personality doesn't translate well online but this is just not one of those people.

>>9868891
She’s just a mediocre stripper now. She moved to me toxic elsewhere. Thank god.

>>9868922
>creep
Yup this is Batty. She will revert to the rat she is if she doesn’t call someone a creep at least once a day.

>>9868981
>my dude
And this is D. You guys can stop stoking eachothers dicks now. You shit talk eachother soo much. Why do you defend one another after you spew soo much salt on eachother?

Do you not know when to stop?

>>9869077
Julie do you ever get tired of constantly having a hate boner for batty? ayrt and no, I'm not batty

>>9868973
Sure, but the idea of doing it with the express intent of waiting for "drama" to post it is pretty... sus.

>>9869143
Nayrt but it’s more like keeping receipts when drama does surface to show proof to claims. It’s like proving your work when doing math or when you cite something in an essay.

I have a folder full of receipts of various people for when people ask to prove statements. Without it, a claim is empty without proof said accusations are true.

>>9869077
>"hi x"

Why are you so obsessed with these people and what they do? Get help, anon.

>>9869185
Ok but you really don't see that as creepy or strange at all? Like this isn't a court of law, its fucking internet drama no one outside the local comm gives a shit about, and yet you have individual folders for people?

>>9869077

az comm never changes, always a drama filled shitfest of a community, I think the heat does something to ya'll

>>9869185
>I have a folder full of receipts of various people for when people ask to prove statements.

You and people like you are the real lunatics, holy hell.

>>9869077
Not even D. Thought that’d be obvious since I don’t bother with the noun shit.
But sure, keep projecting. That’ll get you loads of friends.

>>9869234
We really don’t have any drama though... basing that on cgl posts alone is stupid, especially when it’s always the same few people posting.
Everyone gets along really well, and we have multiple meets a month that all go really well.
It honestly feels like a family. All the toxic people have either left or grown up.
Yeah a few people complain now and then but it’s always some new girl on cgl, or an old fag who hasn’t interacted with the comm in years.
The comm is perfectly fine though.

>>9869185
Nayrt, but I do the same thing, I thought I was the only one.
Is it creepy? Maybe. Ask me if I care. I do know my folder of screen caps has come in handy a few times.

>>9869234
>>9869263

For real, we've been drama free until recently. We've gotten a lot of newer members and some older lolitas returned to the comm after taking a hiatus. Since then, we've had a bout of online issues because both the newbies think part of being in the fashion means there has to be drama and this returning member can't let go of the past, so they're shit-stirring for fun.

>>9869263

I love this lie that comms tell on cgl

>we have no drama

girl, if your comm had no drama I wouldn't be hearing about it here on cgl.

>>9869376
nayrt but we really were fine for a long time. We have a very active and supportive community. Everyone is always welcoming to newbies, we have a ton of meets planned by mods and other members, most people are well dressed. We actually have expensive OTT meets for winter ILD when it's not hot as balls.

That's why it's obvious that the drama stirrer is new and doesn't realize that summer ILD is always more on the chill side.

>>9869278
Has helped me get some scammers to be booted from communities before. I see nothing creepy in protecting your comm from potential dangers. The have a feeling that “ that’s creepy” anon has had proof posted about them that had hurt their image or pride in some way. Best solution to not have a screenshot tarnish your image is to not post shit that can become fuel to harm you later. The lolitas in question have had pasts that won’t go away no matter how much they try and defend themselves. What’s done is done and it won’t go away no matter how much self WK they do for them selves. The fact that they and others feel the need to mention “ but they have changed” won’t change what they have done. All this “you’re creepy” and “ they have changed” does is make it more notable that they have been horrible people and have the potential to still be horrible people. They are not losing any thing but their pride. It would be like doing porn in college then applying for a job in the public eye, like a or politician. You made mistakes in your past doesn’t mean you can remove it because you have “ corrected yourself”.

It's so refreshing NOT being the worst drama comm finally. We had it rough for a few years there, but nothing big or interesting enough has happened in a while so nobody posts about us being a hot mess anymore. Our only current issue (that I know of) is a couple people that are disliked for being edgelords online, but it doesn't seem to have affected the rest of our comm or been an issue at meets.

>>9869376
We really don’t though... did you even read the other reply? It’s always when we get an influx of newbies, otherwise it’s been a solid 2 (almost 3) years without any incident. Dom was the last drama we had and that was years ago.
Newbies posting on cgl is as bad as it gets. And if you think that’s drama, you must be boring.
Otherwise everyone is well dressed, and gets along. We have so many meet ups every month planned by different members. Our mods are active, and vigilant when it comes to creeps.
We’re like a family, and always help each other out. A lot of us hang out outside of Lolita too. So many lovely people.
But you’re right, I’m sure you know more about our comm than we do.

>>9869405

>everyone is well dressed and gets along. We have meetups planned every month by mods and members.

How many times are you going to replete that? It’s like calling a help line and they don’t help you with the issue because they are reading from a scripted prompt.

Keep saying this, if you believe it to be true then okay. But the comm is brought up often reguardless of “no drama recently” it’s obvious you have members that love to spill it if it comes here often.

>>9869410
I’m a seperate anon, and I’m saying it cause it’s true.
Every other comm in this thread complains about having badly dressed cringey members and inactive mods who dont care or plan events. We dont have any of that. Our biggest “drama” is people posting on cgl every now and then. If you think that’s drama, I feel bad you.
I prefer our “drama” than having an actual shitty comm.

>>9869416
>repeating something stated before because it’s true
We have no drama
>proceeded to say our drama is preferred then a shitty comm
Idk about you but it sounds like you have a shitty comm if you all feel the need to come on here and “defend” yourselves for not having drama when you have people like FFC, Batty and C in it. Maybe not as dressed poorly as you once where, but you still have some pretty nasty people of they feel the need to come here and defend the group because it’s “changed”. C is a poorly dressed mod, nice to your face but a snippy ass drama monger when it comes to CGL. Maybe not outing herself lately, but she’s very much into stirring the drama pot when she’s bored.

>>9869404
SOL?

I love how AZ comm comes in with their reeeee engines blaring at the slight mention of their comm not being good. It’s good amusement.

>>9863220
>being fat has lost a lot of its stigma lately (good)
that's not a good thing at all, people should definitely be encouraged to think about their own health. This is going to lead a lot of people to have unfulfilling lives and into an early graves

>>9869565
Wouldn’t that mean more brand for you? I mean, the earth is over populated as it is, this would be like culling it in the end. Or you can like, wait for thanos to collect all the infinity stones.

>>9869596
it's really sad though, they are just being tricked into thinking there is no problem and they don't need to change. I guess you could see it your way but I don't want to see anyone suffer like the fat people I've known, and the worst thing is their children never even get a chance to be normal and healthy

These new non shirred ap ops are becoming more and more of a motivation for me to lose weight.

>>9869503
We wouldn't have these problems if a) one of our admin wasn't a huge drama monger and b) if the mods grew a spine and just fucking ban the people that start shit constantly

>>9869833
Oh my god this! I remember when one of them came into the group after a “break” suddenly old images from the folders we have abandoned ended up in the ita thread. It was obvious who it was yet the mods just turned the other way like it didn’t happen.

>>9869596
Fuck I laughed.

>>9869617
What if they aren't suffering tho

>>9869210
Its no different than someone saving a Kanye tweet and then waiting to release it once he's newsworthy.

>>9869077
"My dude" is a really common thing these days. Are you a grandma?

>>9868993
>what is funposting
>what is a joke
Oh that's right You don't have a sense of humor and you believe that pretending to be retarded is being retarded

>>9866923
Probably too late now that the thread is dying, but I'm pretty sure we're in the same comm. I'd recommend messaging one of the more active mods with caps about the anti vax posting, they could take it as a health concern if nothing else.

>>9862625
I mean it's a highly anticipated event. It's pretty understandable to be disappointed that you can't go due to a common allergy. I'm not going because the menu sounds ick for the price myself. And honestly, having thrown events, I appreciate when people post that they're not going with a hint of why. It's a lot better than throwing yourself into a maybe and not bothering to update it.

>>9862784
Oh my gosh same. But the OUTRAGE and protesting it would cause.

>>9867292
Not your comm but our comm charges like 40-80 for ILD tickets and all the prizes are just enamel pins. No brand stuff. No dresses. Nothing decent.

>>9869915
They will eventually, just like smokers.

>>9869876
"Durr we can't do anything about what people post on cgl about the comm because we don't know who it is"

And then they'll say shit like "oh it's probably so and so because they've had issues with the comm in the past and have a vendetta blah blah"

I get not having solid proof unless someone comes forward with caps of the person admitting to stirring up drama or they give out enough info anonymously to out themselves but jfc

The mods bring it on themselves whenever there's drama on here when they pretend our comm has no drama just because it happens off the fb group.

>>9869503

Ill admit, I samefagged most of the AZ replies because I really don’t know what drama you all are talking about. Judging by the amount, there were probably 3-4 more people posting. Which out of 150 people in the comm isn’t a lot. I’m just genuinely confused as to what our “drama” is? Because we really don’t have it outside of cgl posts. The tea house is too small? We have sjws?
Is that really drama to you guys?
That’s so weak.

>>9870183
What city though? I sometimes plan ILD and the price of a private space with food can get pretty high.

>>9870261
No one likes the member in question so there’s no heartbreak in just kicking that bitch to the curb. She plays the victim when people don’t want to be friends with her. If she wanted friends in the comm, she’d stop shit talking about mods and older members to the newbies. I didn’t even realize she had left the comm until she announced her return in the coord thread. She doesn’t contribute anything to the comm except a shitty attitude.

>>9870261
Alright, but the reason Dom got blasted the fuck out of here is because people DID come forward with screencaps. It WOULD be completely unfair to ban someone because you THINK (even if its a strong suspicion) they're doing it. How would you feel if someone told a mod all the shitposting was exclusively you and they banned you no questions asked?

Not only that but there have been members that were identified as posting shit here who the mods or other members privately messaged and told to cool their shit and they DID. PO and JM come to mind.

I feel your frustration on that because sometimes it feels extremely obvious who can't shut the fuck up about how horrible everyone is on here, but what else are the mods supposed to do? They're just fb mods not the fuckin cops.

>>9868736
youre just jealous of her you cow

>>9870585
So you’re going to let people get away with behaving badly? I’m not in your comm and don’t know exactly what happens with how you handle bad behavior but can tell your mods are doing a bad job reigning it in. The one mod ( C I’m assuming) posts here from what I gather. Your mods shouldn’t be known posters on CGL and defiantly not poorly dressed like she is. She or your comm gets really bitter and nasty when she’s posted and that doesn’t help her, or your comm look like it’s “ drama free”. She got posted to an ita thread. Okay. Coming in here and defending yourself or your mod doesn’t help any one as much as it harms. Just let her be posted, let people say the shit they say. It’s not hurting any thing but her pride. But she feels the need to speak about being posted and that’s just cringy.

If you want any advice to reel it in when your comm starts to derail threads like this, you need to make a post about it. Telling your comm that they are aware of what is happening here and would like for it to cease or they will start issuing warnings to people they suspect being involved. My comm does this and usually once the warning is posted, the responses dwindle down to nothing and stop appearing because people are scared of being banned.

>>9869931
Nayrt but they're right. If you think trolling the internet by saying shitty things is fun then you need to grow up because you sound 15

>>9870183
My comm charges this much but there are a ton of non-brand prizes and everyone gets goodie bags. But if people spoke up and said they’d prefer like the raffle of a single brand item over a lot of indie brand prizes I’m sure the planners would listen.

Is there anything planned in Seattle for ILD? I only see meets for the week after.